1 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,722 It was the first day of senior year, 2 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,724 and I woke up still drunk. 3 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,477 The night before was mostly a blur. 4 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,813 That is, after I emptied out the entire minibar. 5 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,066 If I had any chance of making it through the day, 6 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,193 I needed something to soak up the booze. 7 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,487 "Went to Atlanta for AA retreat. 8 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:33,200 Unreachable for four days. Call if you need me. Smiley face, Mom. 9 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,785 First day of school. 10 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,161 Good job, Mom. 11 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,164 But, with no mom, I could ditch. 12 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,793 If I was gonna be a beauty queen, only one teacher mattered. 13 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,382 I thought Magnolia wanted me to coach her. 14 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,509 I had no idea she wanted to seduce me. 15 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,220 Well, you never should have put yourself in that position. 16 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:56,932 No grown man should have to jump out of a teenage girl's window. 17 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,475 We should tell her parents. 18 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,978 If it were our daughter, I'd want to know. 19 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,189 Are you insane? You're an accused child molester. 20 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,400 Plus, If you tell the Barnards, 21 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,902 Etta Mae will never sponsor me for Junior League. 22 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,362 Heaven forbid. 23 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,448 Please, Bob, no more coaching. Okay? 24 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:18,495 Just focus on your legal career with clients who are over 18. 25 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,622 That blonde girl was a catastrophe. 26 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,041 Showing up at our gala looking like a whore. 27 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,085 We are still working on Patty's look. 28 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,753 No, we are not. 29 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,630 Leave it alone. 30 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,258 Except I couldn't. 31 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,220 Patty was my chance to get my pageant coaching mojo back. 32 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,181 I'd just have to keep things on the down low. 33 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,318 I'm here. I'm ready for you to make me a winner. 34 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,486 And I brought donuts, breakfast of champions. 35 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,323 - Jesus, what happened to you? - Nothing. 36 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,784 Uh... I'm a little hungover. 37 00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,494 You... were drinking? 38 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:03,040 Today is your first day of school. You need to be fresh, alert. 39 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,043 I'm not going. Beauty queens don't need school. 40 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:09,171 Okay. When is the last time you heard of a beauty queen 41 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,174 slash high school dropout slash blackout drunk? 42 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,800 Does your mom know you're here? 43 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,512 She's out of town, so I guess you're in charge of me now. 44 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,972 Can I call you daddy? 45 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,432 Absolutely not. 46 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,854 What is that? 47 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,230 Makeup caboodle. 48 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,900 Let's get you cleaned up and I'll take you to school. 49 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,736 No. I haven't even eaten anything yet. 50 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,907 Hey, give that back. I'm starving. 51 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,241 Good. 52 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,827 Maybe your body will start eating itself. 53 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,589 I'm not ever going back there again. 54 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,093 You want to talk about it? 55 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:10,482 Dear Blob Armstrong, you're fat! 56 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,983 Wow. 57 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,069 You were fat. 58 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,530 Until I wasn't. 59 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,908 It gets better. I promise. 60 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,787 Trust me, skinny is magic. 61 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,997 You are not Fatty Patty anymore. 62 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,624 So who am I, then? 63 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,626 Whoever you wanna be. 64 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:33,588 Today is the day we write your pageant narrative, 65 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,383 the story that you will tell on the pageant stage. 66 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,386 Who you are and why they should pick you. 67 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,849 You can be the former fatty turned class president, 68 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,853 or cheerleader, or homecoming queen. 69 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,896 You are a blank slate. 70 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,024 So, let's make you a pretty picture. 71 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:58,822 Uh-oh. 72 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,241 I feel a makeover coming on. 73 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,379 Maybe Bob was right. 74 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,673 I could write a whole new story. 75 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,717 I felt like Cinderella, 76 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,387 and there was my Prince Charming, Brick Armstrong. 77 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,765 Maybe my pageant narrative could be like a fairy tale, 78 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:28,018 where the vengeful maiden rejects the hero, like he did to me. 79 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,394 Brick. 80 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,901 Hey, babe. 81 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,527 Patty. 82 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,279 So much for revenge. 83 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,781 You guys know each other? 84 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,200 That's Patty Bladell. 85 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,870 No way. Uh, Fatty Patty's huge. 86 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,081 Just because you're skinny now 87 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,626 doesn't mean you can steal someone else's boyfriend. 88 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,169 Got it? 89 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,007 Oh, my God, that was sick. 90 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,469 Magnolia Barnard was just totally threatened by you. 91 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,930 Oh, this is like every great high school movie ever made. 92 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,349 Geek turned chic. Mm-hmm? 93 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,684 Is this the part where you dump me for better friends 94 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,770 and start sleeping with all the hot guys? 95 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,687 Or girls? 96 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,857 No, we are definitely not in that movie. 97 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:16,858 Good. 98 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,278 So, now... I am your boyfriend? 99 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,864 'Cause last night, you said you weren't sure. 100 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,908 I'm not, but until I decide, 101 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,827 I'm not letting you flirt with some other girl. 102 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,205 So, no other girls, got it. 103 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,915 Brick, is there someone else? 104 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:32,916 No way. 105 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:34,668 I love you. 106 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,881 Okay, that is literally the first time you've ever said that to me. 107 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,801 - Why'd it take you so long? - I don't know. 108 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,262 Maybe I was scared. 109 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,722 I haven't said that to anyone before, except for my mom. 110 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:01,611 For the first time in my life, I was pure potential. 111 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,738 The world was my oyster. 112 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,783 I could be the former fatty who turned into a brain. 113 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,618 Or an athlete. 114 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,412 Or a basket case. 115 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,998 Or a princess. 116 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,459 Or a criminal. 117 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,920 Well, obviously, not a criminal. 118 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,304 We're discussing today's news. 119 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:28,597 Mm-hmm? 120 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,349 Some guy almost died in a fire at the Halfway Inn. 121 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:34,811 What hotel? 122 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,063 The one by the freeway. Halfway Inn. 123 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,773 Guy's in, like, critical condition. 124 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,651 Oh, my God. Was I criminal? 125 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:48,617 Could it be possible that I am becoming a killer? 126 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:52,203 We need to go to the bathroom. Together. 127 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,998 - Together. - Together. 128 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,670 I was at that motel last night, with the homeless guy. 129 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,464 Thank God you missed the fire. 130 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,632 Totally. 131 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,675 - Unless I didn't. - What are you talking about? 132 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,720 You know how I was gonna bang him, 133 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,097 and then, I didn't, so I still wanted revenge? 134 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,016 Patty, what did you do? 135 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:17,812 I may have briefly considered lighting him on fire. 136 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,648 Patty, are you insane? 137 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:20,815 I don't know. 138 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,568 I cleaned out the minibar, I watched Firestarter. The rest is a blur. 139 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,154 Wait, you watched Firestarter without me? 140 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,572 I can't believe you. 141 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:28,573 Nonnie! 142 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,326 What if I got drunk and set the guy on fire? 143 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,285 What if he dies? 144 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,621 Okay, okay. Let's think about this logically. 145 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,414 There's someone in critical condition, 146 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,375 but we don't know if it's your homeless guy. 147 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,417 Yeah, totally. 148 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,003 You... You really think that it could be just a coincidence? 149 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,881 That I thought about lighting a guy on fire, 150 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,967 and then a different guy was in a fire 151 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,219 at the motel where I thought about lighting a guy on fire, 152 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,596 but it was a different guy and a different fire? 153 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,014 It's possible. 154 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,349 - Yeah. - I'll ditch, 155 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,393 go to the hospital, and find out. 156 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,727 You should stay here. 157 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,230 My dad says the easiest way to catch a murderer is to see 158 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,564 who comes to visit the victim. 159 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,526 - I'm a murderer? - Only if he dies. 160 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,571 Nonnie, what am I supposed to do? Just wait around? 161 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,031 Go to class. Blend. 162 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:13,493 Pretend you're a normal teenager. Who knows, you actually might be. 163 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,286 I'll text you later. 164 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,254 Bob, hi. 165 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,799 I didn't expect to see you at home. I came to see Etta Mae. 166 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,050 Etta Mae's out of town. 167 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,594 Another surgery. Separating conjoined twins. 168 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,096 You must be so proud. 169 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,764 If I only had the time. 170 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,600 Look, I'm already an hour late for work, and I'm out of fresh shirts. 171 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,396 Oh, well, I could press a shirt for you. I could straighten up the house, too. 172 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,149 Now, why on God's green earth would you do that? 173 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,359 Well, it's the neighborly thing to do, 174 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:50,697 and I'm sure Etta Mae would appreciate knowing that you are well cared for. 175 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,950 Well, well, that's awfully nice of you. Come on in. 176 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,411 Just don't judge, okay? The house is a mess. 177 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,543 I was anxious. 178 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,920 Stressed. Paralyzed with fear. 179 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,548 Sure, I was scared I might be a murdering arsonist, 180 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:12,177 but that was nothing compared to facing a high school cafeteria. 181 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,512 Nonnie told me to blend in. 182 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,222 Be inconspicuous. 183 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,309 I was used to being invisible. 184 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,394 I needed to find a place to hide out. 185 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:26,274 A group of kids nobody cared about, but not with those sadists from the band. 186 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,375 Oh! 187 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,044 Maybe the stoners. 188 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,963 Maybe this time they'd be too baked to even notice me. 189 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,050 Watch it, Patty. 190 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,468 Sorry. 191 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:58,640 You know what rhymes with Patty? Fatty. Fatty Patty! 192 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,475 I wasn't Fatty Patty anymore. 193 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,353 I needed to find a place where the new me fit in. 194 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,651 Yes, you, come here. 195 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:14,114 For the first time in my life, could I actually be popular? 196 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,534 I couldn't go to jail. I finally get to sit at the cool table. 197 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,868 So are you new? 198 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,413 Uh, definitely on the outside. 199 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,957 Welcome to Masonville. 200 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,627 Hey, Alicia, have you met, um... 201 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:33,842 I'm sorry, who are you? 202 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,553 I don't know. 203 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,930 Excuse me. 204 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,977 Maybe everybody else had forgotten about Fatty Patty, 205 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,562 but I couldn't let her go. 206 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,772 So, I have to go. 207 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,816 - I just got called in on a case. - Ah. 208 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,025 A personal favor. 209 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,027 Okay. 210 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,614 So should I lock up when I leave, then, or what? 211 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,991 - Yeah, sounds good. - Okay. 212 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,994 If you need me to return the favor, don't hesitate to ask. 213 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,038 - Oh. - Thanks, Coralee, you're a real peach. 214 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,915 Ah. 215 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,544 Uh... 216 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,588 - Have a good one. - All right. 217 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:52,962 Regina? 218 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,955 - Hi. - Hi. 219 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:31,084 I'm here with Masonville High's Caring for a Cause Alliance, 220 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,212 and we heard there was a guy in a fire who's in the ICU. 221 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,090 - I brought him a little something. - Yeah, straight ahead. Room 102. 222 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,216 Thank you. 223 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,351 Nonnie? 224 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,106 Dad. 225 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,233 Everything okay? Why aren't you in school? 226 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,986 Yeah, I'm just here doing research for an assignment. 227 00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,946 - You? - Official police business. 228 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,781 There was a fire, and it's looking like arson. 229 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,199 Arson? 230 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,785 There's a guy who got caught in it. Bad liver, weak heart. 231 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,578 With that smoke inhalation, he could die, 232 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,372 which would make this a homicide. 233 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,957 My first ever. 234 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:11,874 Awesome, right? 235 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,751 Not for the dead guy. 236 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,337 Oh, yeah, no, no. No, no, of course. Uh... 237 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,381 You gotta admit, I mean, it's pretty cool. 238 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:22,427 - Nothing ever happens in this town. - So, do you guys have any suspects? 239 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,930 Not officially. He was with a girl. Night clerk saw them check in together. 240 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,892 - Do you have a description of her? - Sorry. 241 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:33,187 Can't say any more without compromising the investigation. 242 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,077 So, I'm new. Are you? 243 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,245 Uh... 244 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:51,956 No. 245 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,959 Why are you sitting alone? You steal somebody's boyfriend? 246 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,587 Girlfriend? 247 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,173 - Why did you think that I would... - 'Cause I know how things work. 248 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,383 If a girl as hot as you is sitting alone, 249 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,386 she's new or a social pariah. 250 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:10,099 Did the hottest guy I've ever seen besides Brick Armstrong just call me hot? 251 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,102 So what happened? Did you, like, light someone on fire or something? 252 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,146 I'm Christian. 253 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:19,650 That's my name and my religion, which is super annoying and on the nose, 254 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,779 but... my dad's a preacher 255 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,238 and a missionary, 256 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,115 hence I've been to five different high schools. 257 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,535 This is the part where you tell me your name. 258 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,120 And your backstory. 259 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,246 I'm Patty. 260 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,040 No backstory. 261 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,376 I like a woman of mystery. 262 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,798 I'd never been a woman of mystery in my life, 263 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,299 but I wasn't about to tell him that. 264 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,636 Why do you need to get a lawyer? 265 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,231 You are so fucked. 266 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,818 Ooh, is this one of those afternoon delight kinda visits? 267 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,027 In the bad way. 268 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,113 Regina had you followed. 269 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:07,490 Where in the hell did you get these? 270 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,159 You better tell Barnard the truth and get out in front of it. 271 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,495 I wanted to do that this morning. 272 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,163 You made me promise not to. 273 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,875 It's too late. If I tell him now, it's gonna seem like I'm covering. 274 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,293 We gotta figure out another way. 275 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,753 Well, you need to figure it out. 276 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,840 I'm not the one who can't stay away from teenage girls. 277 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,053 Oh. 278 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,433 I should probably pick that up. It could be an emergency. 279 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:34,809 About what? 280 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,186 Her first day of school. She was really scared. 281 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,688 And how do you know that? 282 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,108 Because... I saw her this morning. I gave her a makeover. 283 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,986 My God, Bob! You are pathological. 284 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:49,615 Please, please, no more Patty, okay? There is something off about that girl. 285 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,034 I am telling you, you are wrong. 286 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:52,994 Hello? 287 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,912 I think I may have killed someone. 288 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,664 I gotta go. 289 00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,792 My life just started. 290 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,462 I... I don't want it to be over already. 291 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,428 I'm a horrible person. 292 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,596 You're not. 293 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,223 I wanted to hurt him. 294 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,478 I had to do something. She was ruining my $1,500 jacket. 295 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,564 - Listen to me, Patty. - Mm-hmm? 296 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,901 Having a murderous thought is not the same as having murderous intent. 297 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,194 That is not who you are. 298 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,571 How do you know? 299 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:32,450 Because I see you. Because I see what's really in your heart. 300 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,576 I saw it first. 301 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,415 We are gonna prove you didn't do this, together. 302 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,834 All of us. 303 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,755 You, we've got to jog your memory, hmm? 304 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:46,714 I need you to go back 305 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,467 and mentally retrace your steps from last night. 306 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,636 Maybe you can fill in the blanks, 307 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,596 remember something that'll let you off the hook. 308 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,474 But stay away from the motel, hmm? 309 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,768 And stay out of trouble. 310 00:16:58,976 --> 00:16:59,852 Got it? 311 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,522 You sure about this? 312 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,775 Yes. Bob said to reenact the events of last night. 313 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,860 - I thought he said "mentally retrace"? - Uh-uh-uh. 314 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,738 Trust me, my dad's a cop. Anything could trigger a memory. 315 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,032 I'll be the homeless guy. 316 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,453 So, did you guys kiss? Because maybe we should. 317 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,121 No, we didn't kiss. 318 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:23,543 Well, was he on top of you or...? 319 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,671 I'm telling you, the last thing I remember was Firestarter. 320 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:30,091 And the vodka. Then, it went black. 321 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:34,136 Okay, first of all, I can't even with Firestarter. It hurts too much. 322 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,054 Sorry. 323 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,847 What were you wearing last night? 324 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,225 You know what I was wearing. Those. 325 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,149 Aha. A clue. 326 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,317 Cheetos? 327 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,111 - I never eat Cheetos. - Oh, yeah? 328 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,487 Let me see your hands. 329 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,446 What? 330 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,784 I knew it. Orange residue. 331 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,036 I don't think that that... 332 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,457 Yep, Cheetos for sure. 333 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,377 You must have been hungry and gone out for a snack. 334 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,380 The Booze 'N Stuff is right by that motel. 335 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,466 We should go over there. Find out who was working. 336 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,343 See if you said anything about what you did. 337 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:17,680 Oh, my God, you're pretty good at this. 338 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:21,267 - You should be a cop like your dad. - I don't know, that's kinda dykey. 339 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,319 I needed Patty to be innocent. 340 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,031 Without her, my coaching career would be nothing but a distant memory. 341 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,784 But as her lawyer, I needed to assume the worst. 342 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,790 What I didn't need was Bob Box o' Butt Plugs Barnard 343 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,418 and his giant ego getting in my way. 344 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:51,172 Since when does a DA get involved in an active investigation? 345 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:54,050 'Cause I knew the victim. He was a witness in a case I had. 346 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,511 - I know. I was opposing counsel. - You were? 347 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,224 You really shouldn't be here. This is a probable crime scene. 348 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,435 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to work. 349 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,313 Bob, seriously? 350 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,440 It's wall-to-wall soot in there. 351 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,400 I wouldn't wanna soil my shirt. 352 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,570 Especially after your wife was kind enough to iron it for me. 353 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:15,905 She what? 354 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,575 Yeah, Etta Mae's outta town. So, Coralee helped me out. 355 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,576 She didn't tell you? 356 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,286 I'm not sure which was worse. 357 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:27,500 The thought of my wife ironing a shirt for Bob Bulging-Bicep Barnard 358 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,544 or the fact that the only way to get anything out of Barnard 359 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,296 was to suck up to his ego. 360 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,548 I'd rather light myself on fire. 361 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,258 Listen, Bob. 362 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,887 I don't have any experience with arson, 363 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:43,015 and I... I was hoping you could bend the rules 364 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,061 so I could learn from a real professional. 365 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,690 Well, heck, when you put it like that. 366 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,818 What good is it being the top law enforcement officer in four counties 367 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,488 if you can't throw a bone to your old pal and courtroom adversary, huh? 368 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,573 You're a peach. 369 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,368 Don't touch anything. 370 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,872 You don't remember anything? 371 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,834 No. I was totally shit-faced. 372 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,128 Was she acting weird, like she did something bad? 373 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,630 She was bad, for sure. 374 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,299 Okay, so I came in and I bought Cheetos, right? 375 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,884 Flamin' hot. 376 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,137 Did she smell like smoke, like from a fire? 377 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:25,433 No, but she was definitely... smokin'. 378 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,354 - Tell me what happened. - You showed me your titties. 379 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,313 What? 380 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,859 I reminded you that you still owed me for lying for you in court. 381 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:38,028 - So, you showed me your... - Did we hook up? 382 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,364 No. I thought we were going to, 383 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:43,534 but you got kinda mad when I asked why you weren't wearing a bra. 384 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,747 - I wasn't wearing a bra? - Where was your bra? 385 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:51,125 FYI, my sister says going braless is bad for your back. 386 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,209 Shut up, Choi. 387 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,466 I must have left my bra in the bathroom. 388 00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,050 I thought you guys didn't hook up. 389 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,138 I went there to seduce him, remember? So, I had to free up some assets. 390 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,097 Wow. 391 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,475 The old Patty wouldn't even change her shirt in front of me. 392 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:09,769 Now you're getting motorboated by homeless guys 393 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,520 and hooking up with Donald Choi. 394 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,522 Who said anything about motorboating? 395 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:17,735 If the police took my bra into evidence, they can place me at the crime scene. 396 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,361 Mm. Only with DNA. 397 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,198 - So, unless you have nipple hair. - Who has nipple hair? 398 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,699 Definitely not me. 399 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,326 I'm gonna spend my life in prison. 400 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,704 And then, I'll never see Bob again, and I'll never be a beauty queen, 401 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,457 and I'll never be able to talk to that hot guy from school. 402 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,458 Who, Brick? 403 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:36,337 No, this new guy. His name's Christian. He's the hottest guy I've ever seen. 404 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,922 And he called me hot. 405 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,131 You are hot. 406 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,925 Not after prison, I won't be. 407 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:43,677 I'm gonna have shiv scars and tattoos and PTSD. 408 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,554 Okay, calm down. 409 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,681 We'll just go and get your bra back. 410 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,892 I know the evidence clerk, Mrs. Freyberger. 411 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,894 My dad used to have her watch me when I was little. 412 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,896 I'll distract her, and you can go get the bra. 413 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,397 Oh, my God, amazing. 414 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:59,193 These were just taken on a hunting trip I took to Alaska. 415 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:03,739 That bear counts as a double kill 'cause it was preggers when I drilled it. 416 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:04,990 Unfortunately, 417 00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:07,785 - you can't wall mount a bear fetus. - Mm-hmm. 418 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,538 Oh! Look at that. 419 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,502 I wanted to be a winner. 420 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:20,130 Not a flasher, a thief, and potentially a murderer. 421 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:24,176 At this point, I didn't know who or what I was. 422 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,222 If I were a bra, where would I be? 423 00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,893 All right, here's what we know. 424 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,437 The victim did not check in alone. 425 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:38,649 He was with a young blonde woman. 36DD. 426 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,651 You know the cup size? 427 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:43,362 We found her bra in the bathroom. She's the number one suspect. 428 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:45,948 - For what? - Arson, Bob, keep up. 429 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,826 Now, the battery was removed from the smoke detector. 430 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,161 That means there was intent. 431 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,415 Now, Captain Murray determined the fire was started by a match 432 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,876 dropped onto the bed, which was doused with vodka. 433 00:22:57,167 --> 00:23:00,963 And our victim was found unconscious in the bathroom. 434 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,591 Probably ran over here to avoid getting burned. 435 00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:06,635 Banged his head. 436 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:10,431 Every detail matched Patty's story, except for the blood. 437 00:23:10,848 --> 00:23:12,808 It was like watching a horror movie, 438 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,853 and wondering if your protégé was Freddy Krueger. 439 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,147 If I had any chance at redemption, 440 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:23,527 Patty was gonna need an alibi as solid as the abs on Bob Bra-Burglar Barnard. 441 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,710 What the fu... 442 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,256 How did you get those? 443 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:47,968 - They were for Bob Barnard's eyes only. - Never mind, I'm here as a friend. 444 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:51,055 I'm fed up with my husband's depraved behavior. 445 00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:53,098 I want out of the marriage. 446 00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,351 - Get in. - Okay. 447 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:00,272 Hi. 448 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:02,149 Oh, wow. 449 00:24:02,232 --> 00:24:04,860 Oh, girl. It's about time you came to your senses. 450 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,820 - I know, but I need your help. - Okay. 451 00:24:06,904 --> 00:24:09,698 I'm assuming these aren't the only copies of the photos. 452 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:10,616 No. 453 00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:12,952 I have them on my phone, why? 454 00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:15,204 Because if I show these to Bob, he'll destroy them. 455 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:19,625 So would you mind texting them to me as backup? 456 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,794 Oh, no, my pleasure. 457 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,545 - People say you're a bitch. - I know. 458 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,297 - But you're the sweetest. - Thank you. 459 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:26,423 - Honey... - You're welcome. 460 00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:30,636 I hope you take that pervert husband of yours for everything that he is worth, 461 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,013 right down to his fruity little caboodle. 462 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:34,264 Got 'em! 463 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:37,226 Oh, thank you, Regina. 464 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:39,520 Now, I'm assuming you don't know this, 465 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:42,481 but you're guilty of trafficking in child pornography. 466 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,066 - Wait. What? - Uh-huh. 467 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:47,152 It's illegal to text lewd photos of a minor, 468 00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:49,113 which Magnolia most certainly is. 469 00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:54,034 - Now you wait just one minute... - Let me be real clear, Regina. 470 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:54,952 It's Regina. 471 00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:59,289 I love, love my husband, fruity caboodle and all. 472 00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:01,959 So, you will drop this or I will go to the police. 473 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,878 Oh, yeah. Oh, you go to the police. 474 00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:06,088 Try me. 475 00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:07,339 Whore-alee! 476 00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:08,757 Regina vagina! 477 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:11,468 - No, it's Regina like a Gina, not a Gyna. - Whatever, bye. 478 00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,523 There it was. The smoking bra. 479 00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:33,699 Hey, babe... Bob. Any news? 480 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:34,783 It's not lookin' good. 481 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,910 The police are lookin' for a young blonde woman, 482 00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:40,039 and Bob Bukkake Barnard has made this case his personal mission. 483 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:41,665 Wait, what's bukkake? 484 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,251 Never mind. Where are you? 485 00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:46,920 I'm in the evidence locker, in the police station. 486 00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:49,089 - Nonnie's helping me cover my tracks. - What? What? 487 00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:51,925 No. I told you to stay out of trouble. 488 00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:55,387 Get out and don't take anything. They keep a list of all the evidence. 489 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,597 Shit, they do? 490 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,098 Yeah, you need an alibi. 491 00:25:58,182 --> 00:26:00,768 The hallway fire alarm went off at 12:04 a.m. 492 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:03,771 You need proof you were somewhere else during that time frame. 493 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:06,648 Wait. I think I was at the Booze 'n Stuff. 494 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,193 Those places have security camera footage, right? 495 00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,487 I bet I can get Donald Choi to give it to me. 496 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,905 He's kinda got a thing for me. 497 00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:16,700 Does it mean that I'm not a murderer and can go back to a normal life? 498 00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:19,995 I could be Miss American Lady, and everyone will be so jealous. 499 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:23,415 Okay, yeah, that's great. Listen, call me when you get the footage. 500 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,501 I'm going to the hospital to check on homeless guy. 501 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:31,256 Good news. 502 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:35,260 I found a matchbook wedged between the wall and the mattress. 503 00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:37,679 Captain Murray was able to lift partial prints. 504 00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:39,932 Mm, yay, Captain Murray. 505 00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:42,226 I'm betting it belongs to the blonde. 506 00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:44,436 Off to run it through the database. 507 00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:53,529 Uh, where's Donald? 508 00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:56,323 He had urgent business. Something I can help you with? 509 00:26:57,783 --> 00:27:00,119 Yeah, this is gonna sound weird, 510 00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:02,204 but I have to prove that I was here last night. 511 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,706 Would you mind if I looked at your security footage? 512 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:07,626 Yes, I mind. This is a place of business. 513 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:10,003 - I don't have time for games. - What if I bought something? 514 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:11,380 Okay. 515 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:15,759 That's odd. 516 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:18,554 The thumb drive with the footage is missing. 517 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:22,850 The was only one person who could've stolen that footage. 518 00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:27,020 That porn-hoarder Choi stole my aliboob. 519 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:29,565 We have to find him. We're running out of time. 520 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:32,192 Wait, isn't that his car? 521 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:39,658 Ah, unicorns and rainbows. 522 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,493 That is an invasion of privacy. 523 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:46,039 You're jerking off in a public parking lot to a video of my back. 524 00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:48,792 - I was not. - Then what were you doing? 525 00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:50,627 Jerking off to the memory of your front. 526 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:53,964 Give us the security footage, and we won't tell everyone you were 527 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:56,425 in your car, punching the clown. 528 00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:12,149 Shit! 12:05, that's ten minutes after the fire started. 529 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:13,734 It still doesn't exonerate me. 530 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,444 Hold on. 531 00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:18,071 If we can prove that, running at full speed, 532 00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:20,657 it took you longer than ten minutes to get here from the motel, 533 00:28:20,741 --> 00:28:21,909 you'll be off the hook. 534 00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:25,829 We have to replicate the exact conditions or the results won't be reliable. 535 00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:27,456 I'm confused. 536 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,374 We're gonna get you drunk 537 00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:32,669 and time how long it takes for you to run from the motel to here. 538 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:33,962 Sound good? 539 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,923 I'd been drunk more in the past two days 540 00:28:36,006 --> 00:28:38,008 than I had ever been in my life. 541 00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:42,262 Was skinny really magic or a gateway to becoming a raging alcoholic? 542 00:28:42,346 --> 00:28:44,306 - Rock and roll. - Okay... 543 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:45,557 Go! 544 00:28:47,684 --> 00:28:51,271 Oh, my God. Just go straight. That's not the way to Booze 'n Stuff. 545 00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:52,356 - Patty? - Patty? 546 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,066 - Ow. - Patty! 547 00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:58,695 - Patty can't talk right now, Bob. - Who's this? 548 00:28:58,779 --> 00:29:00,447 Nonnie, her best friend. 549 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:01,990 - Since we were three. - Well, 550 00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:03,742 tell her homeless guy woke up. 551 00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:06,078 He's still groggy, but he seems to be coming out of it. 552 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:08,372 Until we know exactly what he has to say, 553 00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:11,041 she needs to stay as far away from the hospital as possible. 554 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:14,002 Um that's gonna be tough. 555 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,841 Patty sort of had to get her stomach pumped, so... 556 00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:21,426 Balls! 557 00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:31,353 Why do we always have to do it in your car? 558 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:34,106 Having my face smooshed up against the window like that 559 00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:35,649 is breaking down my collagen. 560 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:37,401 Is that like an old lady thing? 561 00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:38,944 Everyone has it. 562 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:43,282 Look, we need to talk. Me and Magnolia are getting back together. 563 00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:46,743 So? I didn't think we were exclusive. 564 00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:48,829 I mean, we can't keep doing this. 565 00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:51,456 So, what? 566 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,835 - You waited to tell me until after... - Yeah. 567 00:29:55,252 --> 00:29:57,087 Obviously. I'm not stupid. 568 00:29:57,170 --> 00:29:58,714 Oh, honey, yes, you are. 569 00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:02,134 Take me home. I don't wanna miss Little Women of Atlanta. 570 00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:16,106 Don't you know that it's dangerous to text and drive? 571 00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:19,776 What are you doin'? 572 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,737 My shirt's on inside out. 573 00:30:21,987 --> 00:30:24,573 Don't need Dixie knowin' I've been getting it on. 574 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:27,117 Okay, stop, 'cause if someone sees, then I'm... 575 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,952 It's their lucky day. 576 00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:31,038 Shit! 577 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:42,257 Oh, God. I can't be here! Oh! 578 00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:45,469 I am the number ten realtor in this county! 579 00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:47,095 I don't like this shit! 580 00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:48,805 Damn clay! 581 00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:50,849 The fucking valley! 582 00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:55,437 I'm so sorry. I feel like this is all my fault. 583 00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:59,441 No, no, this is the most fun I've ever had. 584 00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:04,154 You and I just used to sit at home, and now we're out in the world. 585 00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:08,909 I just hope I don't go to jail, and it all goes away. 586 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,494 No, hey, hey, hey. 587 00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:15,374 Hi, handsome. 588 00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:16,750 Jesus, girls. 589 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:21,546 I asked you to get a time code. Would it kill you to just listen? 590 00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:23,256 I saw Donald Choi's peen. 591 00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:26,927 - It's true. It was horrible. - I'd never seen a peen before. 592 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:30,305 Okay, bigger fish to fry. Hmm? I checked in with the DA. 593 00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:31,515 The DA? 594 00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:33,016 Bob Bukkake Barnard. 595 00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:35,435 Don't you ever call him that. 596 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:39,773 He is on his way down here to question the homeless guy. 597 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,359 I have to get to him first to try and do damage control. 598 00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:45,028 Your dad is in the room. You think you can distract him? 599 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:47,572 Yeah, he's my dad. I think I can manage it. 600 00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:49,950 Sorry. Do you have a problem with me? 601 00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:53,703 Patty, you stay here. We cannot let the homeless guy see you. 602 00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:56,039 - But, I wanna... - Patty, stay! 603 00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:01,753 Let me ask you something. 604 00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,922 You've known Patty since she was three. 605 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:06,216 Do you think she could be capable of something like this? 606 00:32:06,299 --> 00:32:09,845 Well, she's definitely different now that she's skinny, 607 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,305 but she's got her head on straight. 608 00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,603 I missed you guys. 609 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:19,771 Oh, my God. 610 00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:22,691 You cannot follow directions to save your life. 611 00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:24,317 Literally. 612 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,779 Go back in there, lure your father out. I'll take care of her. 613 00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:29,948 - Patty. - Bob. 614 00:32:30,031 --> 00:32:32,367 Go back to the ER, now. 615 00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,370 That's her. 616 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,290 That's the girl I was with last night. 617 00:32:38,373 --> 00:32:39,666 She started the fire. 618 00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:42,210 Patty? 619 00:32:43,253 --> 00:32:44,588 You better come in here. 620 00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,968 Were you with this man at the motel last night? 621 00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,012 Tell him, blondie. 622 00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,848 I'm Ms. Bladell's attorney. 623 00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:56,558 I would like to postpone any questioning 624 00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:59,311 until my client and I have a chance to confer. 625 00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:01,605 Confer about what? She did it. 626 00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:04,816 Couldn't be true. 627 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:06,860 For me or for her. 628 00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:09,863 I was grasping at straws. 629 00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:16,161 Suddenly, I knew what I was looking for. 630 00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:20,457 Hey, what are you doin'? Stop touching my stuff. 631 00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,542 Were you wearing these clothes the night of the fire? 632 00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:24,961 - Yeah, but... - Ah! 633 00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:28,924 I think we both know what really happened, homeless guy. 634 00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:31,343 My name is John. 635 00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,053 Hey. 636 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,349 You woke up, drunk, alone, 637 00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:41,019 your clothes in the bed, soaked in spilled liquor. 638 00:33:41,102 --> 00:33:43,438 Just another day in the life of a derelict. 639 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:48,443 And then, creature of habit, you reached for a cigarette. 640 00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:50,612 But before you could light it, 641 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:53,532 you looked up and saw a smoke alarm above the bed. 642 00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:57,494 But you weren't gonna let that stop you. You decided to disarm it. 643 00:33:57,577 --> 00:33:58,453 You jumped up... 644 00:33:59,746 --> 00:34:02,666 and you removed the battery, slipping it into your pocket. 645 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:08,755 And then, you lit your cigarette, dropping a match to the bed. 646 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:15,136 You jumped off the bed, ran to the bathroom to escape the flames, 647 00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,931 but you ran into the doorjamb and knocked yourself unconscious. 648 00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,110 And then, you lied... 649 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:34,823 and blamed Patty so you didn't get in trouble... 650 00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:36,741 for starting the fire. 651 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,077 How could you know all that? 652 00:34:39,619 --> 00:34:40,829 Were you in the closet? 653 00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:42,455 That sounds like a confession. 654 00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,000 Oh, fuck it. 655 00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:47,043 Yeah, it was me. 656 00:34:49,045 --> 00:34:51,423 Because of Bob, I had a future. 657 00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:53,341 There was hope for a new me. 658 00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:55,885 My pageant story wasn't over yet. 659 00:34:56,011 --> 00:34:57,012 I'm not a monster. 660 00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:59,639 No, you're my great white hope. 661 00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:02,892 That... sounds a little racist. 662 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,980 We are gonna do amazing things. 663 00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:09,316 Bukkake. 664 00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:13,695 Okay. Let's get to the bottom of this. 665 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:16,281 Already done, Bob. 666 00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:17,824 Already done. 667 00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:22,746 I gotta go home. My son's been in a fender bender. 668 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:24,372 Texting and driving. 669 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:27,292 Nonnie, can you make sure Patty gets discharged and get her home? 670 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,669 Yeah, I'm always there for her. 671 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,255 And never say "discharge." 672 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:37,344 We're gonna start coaching this weekend. You get home and go straight to bed. 673 00:35:37,427 --> 00:35:40,013 - Think you can handle that? - Mm-hmm. 674 00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:42,849 Um... thank you for saving me. 675 00:35:44,017 --> 00:35:45,268 What about me? 676 00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:51,691 So much for the first day of senior year. 677 00:35:51,941 --> 00:35:53,526 We'll have a do-over tomorrow. 678 00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,070 Put this all behind us. 679 00:35:57,614 --> 00:35:59,616 But I couldn't put it behind me. 680 00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:00,784 Not yet. 681 00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:02,952 There was one more thing I had to do. 682 00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:04,120 I'll be right back. 683 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:06,581 Wait, where are you going? 684 00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:08,500 Patty. 685 00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:14,172 Just so you know, I'm the fatty you punched. 686 00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:15,715 You broke my jaw. 687 00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:18,593 I couldn't eat solid food for three months. 688 00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,887 So you owe me an apology. 689 00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:22,681 An... an apology? 690 00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:24,891 You should be thanking me. 691 00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:28,144 I saved you. Because of me, you got skinny. 692 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:31,189 Skinny isn't magic. 693 00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:35,485 It doesn't take away all of the years that I got treated like shit. 694 00:36:35,568 --> 00:36:37,529 - Well, let it go. - I can't! 695 00:36:38,571 --> 00:36:43,201 I might be skinny on the outside, but on the inside, I'm still Fatty Patty. 696 00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:47,414 - That's pathetic. - Oh, I want you to hurt, like I hurt. 697 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:50,583 You deserve it. I wish I had lit your ass on fire. 698 00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,877 I hope you drop fucking dead. 699 00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:03,805 I wanted him dead, and then he was. 700 00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:06,641 And I... was happy. 701 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,061 Did that make me a horrible person? 702 00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:13,314 Did it make me responsible? 703 00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:18,194 Maybe Bob was right. Maybe skinny was magic. 704 00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:22,490 I wondered what else I could do.