[magical music]
Yeah!
[excited chatter]
[Magnolia] Everyone was excited about the annual Fairy Tale Costume Ball.
Everyone but me.
I had always felt like an outsider,
but lately it had gotten worse.
I felt so alone.
Nobody could possibly understand what I had been through.
I couldn't get back my boyfriend, my pageant career,
the family I grew up with, or the sister I never knew.
But maybe the one thing I could get back was my memory of what happened to me
during those 18 hours I blacked out.
I had clues, but no way to follow them. The drawing on my arm
and this picture of me with these two strangers.
Could they help me fill in the blanks?
I have a lead on your mysterious ShenaniCam photo.
How? The girls aren't tagged. They're not on social...
I know, but I've been stalking the account.
It looks like it's run by a student who documents campus life.
Whenever the photographer posts, they tag their location. That's how we find them.
We just need to go to Hughes' campus and wait for them to post again.
Oh, my God, that's genius!
[Patty] What's genius?
I figured out a way to find the person
who posted that photo of Magnolia at Hughes University.
We are gonna retrace her steps that day to jog her memory.
We're gonna Hangover this bitch.
[Patty] Hm-mm.
I mean, didn't they get bit by a tiger on The Hangover?
And someone married a hooker.
Yes! But they still found their friend, and once we solve this,
I will have the perfect story to use in my interview for John Jay.
- What's that? - College for criminal justice.
I decided to become a cop like my dad.
I would've told you, but you're a little busy with Brick.
Let's go to Hughes first thing Saturday.
Saturday is the dance.
So we'll just have to make it back in time.
This is gonna be awesome.
[Patty] Not for me.
Hmm... Yay! Hangover!
- Yeah! - Okay.
- I'll go with you guys! - Sure!
If Magnolia remembered that day, she might remember the night before.
[Patty] What did you do?
[Milady. - [chuckles]
What's all this?
It's a teaser of my costume for the dance. And I got you a costume, too.
Try it on. I wanna see how we'll look together.
Now?
[Patty] I was mortified.
Was the costume too small?
Or was my body too big?
What happened? I wanted to see it on you.
Or you hate it? 'Cause I can get us different costumes.
No. That's not it.
There are other princess dresses, but they weren't in your size.
This isn't my size.
It's... too small.
I'm sorry.
Hey, why? I mean, you're gonna look great in whatever costume and...
the whole point is for me to get you out of it anyway.
Right?
[chuckles]
I had the hottest boyfriend alive, and I couldn't enjoy him.
Even if I could get out of my head about my body,
I couldn't stop thinking about Magnolia.
I have that test tomorrow.
What if she remembered seeing me with that crowbar?
Did she see me kill him? Would she turn me in?
We can't!
My mom's gonna be home soon.
What if I went to jail? Would Brick still want me then?
Are you not into me? It feels like it did before you ditched me for Christian.
He had to bring up Christian.
No. This is not like that at all, I promise.
- Okay. - Okay.
I had to put this whole Magnolia thing to bed
if I ever wanted to go to bed with Brick.
[Magnolia] What do you mean?
I don't know. It's like Patty's not into it or something.
Do you want me to just ask her?
We're spending the day together Saturday.
She volunteered to help track the girls from the photo.
Okay, that's weird.
Weirder than you talking to your ex about your current sex life?
Or lack thereof.
I've never had any complaints before.
Are you asking...
Wait, is there something?
Magnolia! You have to tell me!
No, I... I can't.
As my friend, please.
Okay, fine!
Fine. I was never gonna say anything,
but since you're asking...
It's the way that you kiss.
Sometimes it felt like you were trying to, like, lick my tonsils.
And sometimes you'd put your whole mouth over mine,
and I felt like I was suffocating.
- [shushing] - You'd stick your tongue in my mouth...
and you'd just leave it there like it was this weird, warm slug.
Gross! I sound horrible.
I mean, listen, you can get away with a lot when you're hot.
Hm.
What am I supposed to do?
YouTube it.
Yeah.
When it comes to being Masonville's mayor,
I'm willing to roll up my sleeves and get in there.
In fact, I'm so committed, I'll give y'all the shirt off my back.
['80s pop music playing]
Masonville needs a strong mayor.
Someone who can flex their power.
Throw another couple of 45s on there, Joe.
Vote Bob Barnard.
I got this!
[Bob Armstrong] Unbelievable.
He's too perfect.
People want someone they can go have a beer with.
Someone who's relatable, like me.
You? Relatable? You're wearing an ascot and lipstick.
[scoffs] It is tinted ChapStick.
Okay, fine. Point taken.
Besides, you've got bigger problems.
Your little outburst at the Wiener Taco went viral.
Screw your Will & Grace mayoral bullshit!
I'm running for mayor, too.
I mean, I thought it was awesome, but...
apparently people think you're a real dick
for going off on your wife the night of her big event.
I only spoke the truth.
Bob, if you want to win mayor, you need people to like you.
You have to issue a public apology.
Are you serious?
I finally stand up for myself, and you want me to apologize?
- Hm! - No! No way!
Rule number one: in modern politics, never admit fault.
It's like giving ammunition to your enemy.
Bob! You have an image problem.
I solve image problems for a living.
We will do it my way.
When one of my pageant girls has a snafu,
I tell her to go out and do something good.
Change the narrative, get people on her side.
So I need to go out and, I don't know, shake some hands, kiss some babies.
We should have an event.
Yeah. Yeah!
Meet me at the park at lunch. I have an idea.
Hey, where are you off to?
I'm going to Hughes University for the day with Nonnie and Magnolia.
What about your OA meeting?
OA?
As in Overeaters Anonymous? You're going to meetings?
Yeah. You missed a lot while you were gone.
I'm being of service to Magnolia.
I'm helping her figure out
what happened to her the night she blacked out.
Um...
Can I speak to you for a moment?
In private?
[door opens]
Help Magnolia? Are you crazy?
If she remembers, no State for you.
No mayor for me!
I'm going to cockblock her.
Make sure she doesn't remember.
Relax. Besides, it's better than thinking of food.
[car horn honks]
That's Nonnie. I've gotta go. I'll keep you posted.
[sighs]
[Magnolia] I thought seeing the campus would jog my memory,
but I had zero recollection of being there.
Looks like the photographer was just at the campus activity center.
That sounds far away.
The campus map says it's right here.
Come on.
[Nonnie] I see him.
Follow me.
Hey. Are you the campus life photographer?
I am, but I'm on my way to photograph a rally.
Oh. Dory!
Dory? Like on my arm?
- Wait, did you draw it? - No. You don't remember me?
Did you take this?
Yeah, I did, but I really...
[Nonnie] Do you still have the photos?
- Let me see your camera. - Nonnie, he said he has to go.
[camera shutter clicks]
There.
- Perfect. Thank you so much. - Thanks.
- No problem. - Bye, girl.
- Bye! - Bye!
Hey. What's your name?
I don't remember.
Are you like Dory from Finding Nemo or something?
You're the one who nicknamed me Dory!
- Do you remember anything else? - I really have to go.
Well, that's that. We should...
Wow.
He couldn't help us for two minutes?
- Rude! - Come on, give him a break.
People have been harassing him about that photo for weeks.
It was the last time anyone saw Pierre before he went missing.
- Who's Pierre? - School mascot. The French bulldog.
People are freaking out that he's gone.
- Is it really that big of a deal? - Yes!
People take football seriously.
And Pierre is lucky.
Ever since he went missing, we've been losing.
Wait, do you know the other two girls?
We should go. We've taken up enough of his time.
Everybody knows who they are since the photo went viral.
Their names are Kelly and Jasmine.
- They live in Franklin Hall. - Kelly and Jasmine...
Franklin Hall...
[mouths] Fuck!
Hey! What's up, guys?
Stu, the Kissing Bandit back at you
with another tutorial on how to kiss girls
and make them want to come back for more.
One thing to keep in mind,
make sure that they actually want to kiss you back.
There is nothing sexier than consent.
You might be thinking,
"Stu, what if I don't want to subject my girlfriend
to my crappy kissing practice?"
Well, I have the solution for you.
Practice...
with a mango,
or any other small, fist-sized fruit
with a soft, wet, pulpy inside.
You cut a hole into the skin,
deep enough for your tongue and get down to business.
[moaning]
Two things to keep in mind, guys:
one, don't be a slobberpuss.
And two, be a little stingy with your tongue.
Think of it as your flirty worm,
not your chokey anaconda.
Okay? Nobody likes that.
And most of all,
just have fun.
[funky music plays]
[music volume increases]
Hey!
[Regina] Ooh!
Oh, I can't thank you enough for letting me live with you!
Once I get my nude self-portrait from storage,
our apartment will feel like a home, plus...
Honey, what's wrong?
I can't find a date to the Fairy Tale Formal tonight.
Oh! Baby girl.
We will find you a date online.
Who knows? The wheelchair might help.
There is a fetish for everything! [chuckles]
Um, no!
Hi! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
- Can you read English? - English.
[Dixie] Yes. Okay, yeah.
'Cause there is a sign on the door that says
- we open in one hour. - Open.
- We open in one hour. - Yes.
- W-O-N, an hour. - Actually, we're here to see you.
We saw the news story
about the pageant girl who faked being in a wheelchair
only to actually end up being in a wheelchair
and recognized you.
We're your birth family.
Uh, scam artists!
Oh, yeah, looking to get a piece of the Wiener Taco.
This is your dad.
- [Regina] Okay. - [woman] This is your brother, Henry.
- And I'm your mom. - Yeah, right.
I can prove it. I know things only a mother would.
Oh, okay, yeah. Like what?
You have a third nipple.
[scoffs] Uh, one in 10,000!
- And 11 toes. - More common than you think.
And a birthmark on your butt in the shape of a better butt.
Oh, my God, Mama!
Come here! Oh, my God!
I can't believe that you guys came all the way from China just to see me.
- China? - Yes, where I was adopted.
You weren't adopted.
You were kidnapped from the Mall of Minneapolis.
- What? - And you're not from China.
- You're Korean. - What?
Mama!
[Angie] Come and get one of Bob Armstrong's loaded wieners!
They're plump and juicy!
Have a wiener on Bob!
Here you go. Go hand them out.
Angie, what the hell?
I know, right?
There's no bad press a little free wien can't cure!
No, Angie!
The second rule of modern politics: never get photographed eating a hot dog!
Well, I didn't photograph you.
It's photoshopped.
Come on! Fuck the rules.
You're eating a wiener, and you look sexy as hell.
No! Absolutely not!
It's a bad headline just waiting to happen.
You know, not for nothing, but if this is you being more likable,
I'll vote for hot Bob, too.
Come on!
Now, who's a likable boy?
- What? - Who's a likable boy?
- I'm likable, Angie! - Yes, you are, and who wants to be mayor?
- I'm gonna be mayor. - Are you gonna be mayor?
- I'm gonna... - Gonna be mayor?
I get it.
- Okay. - Okay.
You're going to get out there, win over some voters,
kiss some babies.
- Yes. All right! - All right.
Oh, shit.
[Magnolia] I felt weirdly comfortable at Hughes.
Maybe it was because here,
for the first time in my life, I didn't stand out.
Hey, you two. Student IDs please.
Would I feel less isolated here? Could this be a place for me to belong?
Hey! Do you know what room Kelly and Jasmine are in?
[Patty] Damn, it must be in here somewhere.
No worries! We'll catch up with you later.
Sorry, ladies. No ID, you've gotta leave.
[Patty] Nonnie might not have been worried, but I was.
I couldn't let Magnolia out of my sight.
Who knew what would trigger her memory?
Nonnie, we can't just let her go.
It's fine. We'll just wait for her here.
But those girls are alleged dognappers, and who knows what...
You sound crazy.
I don't even know why you came. You and Magnolia aren't even friends.
We're friends.
Come on. You kinda just stole her boyfriend.
- I didn't. - Why make such a big effort now?
Because.
Lie! Lie! Lie!
Magnolia and Brick have been spending time together,
and I am afraid that she still wants him.
So if I help her out, get really close to her,
maybe she'll be less likely to screw me over.
I guess that makes sense.
There has to be another way in.
Come on! I have an idea.
Hey! I don't know if you remember me,
- but I... - Where have you been this whole time?
In Masonville. I'm a high school senior.
Yeah?
While you've been playing Degrassi, we've been getting harassed
because of that ShenaniCam post.
Everyone thinks that we took Pierre.
You had him when we left you. Do you know where he is?
No.
I don't remember anything from that day. I lost my memory.
Oh, my God. That is some whacked out Days of Our Lives bullshit.
We've had to take ourselves off social media.
We're thinking of moving off campus, all because of a dog
that you had.
So much for fitting in.
[man] Stop! Hey!
- Magnolia! - [man] Stop!
[Nonnie] Magnolia!
Magnolia, tell them we're your friends!
Patty, Nonnie, what is going on?
They just climbed in through my window!
You know what? I'm calling security.
Uh, so how's it going? Did you remember anything?
Not yet.
That photo of us is the only clue I have from that day.
Besides this.
But I'm hoping if I play the day backwards, maybe I'll remember.
The doctors think I might've seen something traumatic,
and it could've affected my memory.
What happened right before you took that photo?
Did the three of you spend any time together?
No! We saw her with Pierre, we went to pet him,
that dude took a photo, we moved on. It was two minutes.
What's the last thing you do remember?
Hitting my head. I have a video. See?
- Whoa! Slow down! - Uh!
Go back a little. I think I see something.
Why are you helping them?
Because if they can figure out what happened that day,
maybe they can help us find Pierre.
Zoom in.
That's a Hughes scooter.
But you can't get one without a student ID.
You must've borrowed one from someone you met that day.
Maybe they know what happened.
The scooter office keeps records.
Let's go see who checked out 444.
- [woman] Come on. - [Nonnie] Let's do it!
Darn. I guess it's time to head back.
- What? No! - Wait! I can pick the lock.
Nonnie, don't be stupid.
It'll only take a minute.
[Patty] With every clue, we were one step closer to Christian and that crowbar.
- You want me to... - Kill her.
Patty? Patty, what's happening?
Do it, or I will!
- Do what? - Patty, now!
[Patty] I had to do something, so I lied.
Shit, someone's coming! Run!
Yes!
[alarm blares]
Nonnie, come on! Let's go.
- Leave it! - No! It was a birthday gift from my dad!
Who cares?
- Officer, I can explain. - Save it.
I already received a call about two white girls breaking into dorm.
I'm throwing you off campus, and if you come back,
there will be legal consequences.
Understood?
Let's go.
Come on, girl!
[man] Let's give it up for the All Campus Undie Run participants.
All proceeds go to...
No undies, huh?
What's your name?
Oh.
This is Dory and I'm Nemo.
What?
I remembered something.
I was with a girl... braids, tattoos.
She drew on my arm.
And then we got hammered.
And then I saw the pageant on TV.
And then I stole her ID.
That must've been how I got the scooter.
Maybe she came with me to Regionals. Maybe she remembers something I don't.
- Maybe she knows where Pierre is. - What was her name?
I don't remember, but she called me Dory and herself...
Nemo.
You're saying we need to find Nemo?
How?
That's obviously not her real name,
and there's, like, 3,000 people on this campus.
You're right. It's pointless.
Unless...
we could put out a message.
Through text or social media.
[Magnolia] Is that the campus radio station?
[woman] Yeah.
Maybe we go old-school.
See? We're undercover.
We look like drunk moms during parents' weekend.
We'll stand out.
What were you thinking, breaking into that office?
I was trying to solve the case.
Solve the case. Undercover. Nonnie, you're not a cop.
Wow.
Well, I mean not yet.
No, I get it. You don't think I'm good enough.
That's not what I said.
You didn't have to.
You've been acting like an asshole all day.
[man] And here's Dory with an old-school lost connection announcement.
[Magnolia] I'm looking for my friend, Nemo.
I could really use your help, so if you're listening,
please come find me at the rock on the quad.
I'm going... to support my friend.
You can do whatever you want.
Say, "I got this!"
[chuckles] All right.
Bob Barnard, quelle surprise. What the hell are you doing here?
I'm just meeting voters, gathering support.
You ain't hijacking my event!
It's nothing you didn't do to Coralee.
I can't help it if my natural charm and charisma draws people in.
But, hey.
Don't let me keep you from the slow train to Loser Town.
Rudy and I have plenty to talk about. He's endorsing me for mayor.
Oh! Like he endorsed me at the gym, in the steam room.
[Rudy] Jesus!
Bob, that's private.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize
two people having sex in a public place was so hush-hush!
[man] You got this, Bob!
How does it feel, having my sloppy seconds?
That's right. You know!
Stella Rose, Coralee...
How's it feel, knowing your father's financing my campaign?
Yeah. Oh, and when he found out you were running,
he doubled my funds.
Excuse us.
[Bob] Come on.
Hey, are you all right?
No.
I just found out my father doubled down on financing Bob Barnard's campaign.
We're doing all this to get people to support me,
and the one person who should automatically be on my side
is backing my competition.
I've had it. I'm going to talk to him.
[man] I'm here. What's so important?
I'm running for mayor now, Dad.
You can't still be financing Bob Barnard's campaign.
"Good to see you, Dad. Thanks for coming by.
Hey, how's retirement going?"
Sure. That.
I am trying to get voters out there to like me,
and my own dad picks the other guy?
I mean, could you just be on my side for once in your life?
[imitating crying] Son, come on.
I'm always on your side.
Uh-huh? Like when?
Well, like senior year.
Huh? I knew you weren't gonna make the track team,
but I still bought you those expensive sneakers.
Yeah, I was more interested in the shoes than I was in running in a fucking circle.
You were just so damn fragile.
Any other kid I'd have sent off to military school...
or conversion therapy.
But I felt sorry for you.
So I put up with your pansy-ass bullshit.
Jesus! Dad, what do you want me to do? Thank you?
Well, you should thank me.
For protecting you your entire life.
Mom protected me.
From you. Of course, it's always the good parent who dies first.
You don't know the first thing about your mother.
What is that supposed to mean?
Forget it.
You couldn't handle it then. You couldn't handle it now.
What are you talking about?
Just drop it, all right?
And don't run for mayor.
It's only going to crush you when you lose to your boyfriend.
Don't change the subject, Dad.
That's why I'm not endorsing you.
I'm still protecting you.
Dad, just tell me.
What about Mom?
She didn't die of cancer.
Happy?
What are you talking about?
Of course she died of cancer.
She came home from the hospital and died of complications from chemo.
The only hospital she ever went to was Masonville psych ward.
Your mother was depressed her whole life.
Doctor after doctor, and treatment after treatment.
She begged me for a Christmas at home.
So...
I checked her out.
And the first chance she got, she took a bunch of pills.
I don't... I...
I don't believe you.
She was bipolar, Bob.
She killed herself when you were eight.
Cancer was easier for you to understand.
You wouldn't blame yourself.
Son, I lied to you to save you the heartache,
and I carried it.
I carried it all on my own.
So the next time you think that I'm not on your side...
you think about that.
Well... [sighs heavily]
This was fun.
[clears throat]
But now, if you'll excuse me,
I have an alt-right coalition meeting to attend and, well,
I'm taking the minutes. So...
[Rudy] I'm so sorry.
So... my mama's just gone?
She's not your mama.
All her things are gone.
Her cell phone's been disconnected.
- We've put out an all-points bulletin... - [slurping]
...but Ms. Sinclair's evaded even drawing suspicion for nearly two decades.
She's a very accomplished criminal.
Thank you.
This is all my fault.
That you got kidnapped. That you ended up in this wheelchair.
Maybe if we had found you sooner, none of this would have happened.
Excuse me. I'm looking for Dixie Sinclair.
[Dixie] Who the hell are you?
Your date for the Fairy Tale Formal. I'm the pee from Princess and the Pee.
It's P-E-A. Like the vegetable.
Your mom hired me.
- Wait, you spoke to Regina? - Yeah.
I'd like to ask you some questions.
Come with me.
Come on.
[knocks on the door]
- Hi. - Hi.
I need to give you something.
Bob, I said I would help you, but I am not gonna shoot Bob Barnard.
I don't want you to shoot anyone. Just take it. Just throw it away.
Destroy it. I just... I never want to see it again.
What's this all about?
I spoke to my father. I...
He told me my mother didn't die of cancer,
but that she committed suicide.
Oh, my God. That's... That's awful.
Yeah, she didn't...
ask for help. She didn't fight. She just checked out.
I'm so sorry.
And I am just like her.
And I don't want to be.
I've done so much damage, Angie. So many things I can't fix.
But I can't take the easy way out.
Okay.
I want to take responsibility. Fix what I can.
I'm ready for that public apology.
Hey.
It's all right.
[woman] It's getting late. Nemo's not showing up.
What a waste of a day.
Day's not over. I can't go home until I have answers.
[woman 2] Dognappers!
Just leave!
Just leave? God damn it!
I wish we'd never met you.
Do you have any idea of what we lost because of you?
Yeah, Pierre.
It is not about a fucking dog.
I came to an HBCU thinking that these four years could be
the only time in my life where I wouldn't have to worry
about being judged by the color of my skin.
But because of that photo, I lost my community, and that hurt.
And I shouldn't have to explain that to you of all people.
You're right. You shouldn't have to explain that to me because I get it.
I've been eyeballed when I've walked into a high-end store.
I've been singled out during Black History Month
for my "unique" perspective.
I've been pulled over more than once
for driving my dad's car because the police thought I stole it.
- Yes, exactly. So... - But that's not my whole story!
Because even though I'm seen as a black woman in this world,
I'm biracial. I've got a black mom and a white dad.
So that community that you talk about that you've lost,
I've never had that.
Ever.
At least you get to come to a place like this where people get it.
I wouldn't know how to talk or how to act, or if people would even like me.
- You guys sure don't. - That's not true.
Bullshit!
It's not like I feel like I fit in with the white girls either.
What about your friends, Patty and Nonnie?
Those girls aren't my friends.
Nonnie's just here for the story,
and Patty's my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend.
And you know what else you don't know? That pageant girl who got murdered,
the one who's been all over the news...
That's my sister.
And my dad came out of the closet, and my mom left.
And I went to rehab. So where's that community?
Where are the people who understand that experience?
[sobbing]
You've been treating me like I'm the enemy all day,
and you have no idea what I've been through.
I don't know who I am or where I belong.
And wherever I go, I'm always alone.
Honey, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
Hey! What'd we miss?
- What the hell are y'all wearing? - Magnolia, are you okay?
- Yeah. I just... - [man] Dory!
- I thought Nemo was a girl. - I'm not Nemo.
I heard you on the radio. I met you a couple weeks ago.
Thought you were hot.
Seriously?
So I came to ask you out.
- Last time, you were with that other guy. - What other guy?
The one with the dog.
A bulldog? The school mascot?
I don't know about mascots, and I hate sports,
but he looked like a douchebag. Short hair, tricked-out camera.
[Nonnie] The HughesLife photographer!
He had that animal rights stuff.
Maybe he stole Pierre.
He posts everything on ShenaniCam.
Maybe he's dumb enough to post where he lives, too.
Gotcha! Let's go.
- Hey! - [dog barking]
Pierre!
Oh! Come here!
Come here! We found you!
Oh, my God. It's Pierre!
We finally get our lives back!
What about Pierre's life?
Has anybody asked him if he wants to be a mascot?
I'm calling campus security.
[Pierre barking]
[giggling]
[Magnolia] Pierre must have found me in the woods.
I must have taken a hard hit to the head because I followed a dog
and some publicly-urinating strangers onto a game bus.
That's how I got to campus.
[barking]
I'm sure I had a concussion.
- That's why I couldn't remember. - Great! No trauma then.
- But wait. Why was I in the woods? - Which woods?
I don't know. I feel like they were near, like, a parking lot next to a church.
Hey, forget about the woods.
[panting] I got him!
And I finally got to use my pocket stun gun.
[crackling]
[Patty] Well, great! Yay! [chuckles]
We could still make it back in time for the dance.
- Let's go. - Wait. Magnolia, what about you?
- Me? - Yeah. Are you gonna be okay?
Sounds like you've been holding onto that stuff for a long time.
Yeah, I think...
maybe I just didn't have anyone to say it to.
Maybe you do now.
Maybe you don't have to be alone if you don't want to be.
[nervous laugh]
Look, there's a party next weekend.
If you come back, we can try and find Nemo.
Maybe I wasn't isolated because of what had happened to me
or how people saw me.
Maybe all I had to do to be connected was to let other people in.
Thanks so much...
for everything.
No worries.
[Magnolia] Can I meet you guys at the dance?
Oh, totally.
[Patty] We were all finally gonna get our happy ending.
[phone beeping]
[sighs]
I just wish I knew how you ended up in the woods.
Forget about the woods.
There's a church over on Maple near a wooded area.
Maybe we should drive by there, see if something jogs my memory.
[Patty] No! Not there!
Magnolia! Run!
No! I have to get back for the dance, now.
- I mean, it's already getting late. - [Nonnie] Whatever.
You can spare 15 minutes.
[indicator clicking]
[Christian] Not worried about the competition?
I am the competition.
Oh, my God. I called Christian.
I think he was gonna give me a ride to Regionals.
Text him. Maybe he knows something about what happened.
[buttons clicking]
[Patty] I still had Christian's phone.
I had to close the gap in Magnolia's memory
before something else triggered the rest.
He says I was mad after my fight with my dad,
so I called him to get high. We ended up in the woods.
I slipped and I hit my head. He wanted to take me to the ER,
but I didn't want my dad to know I was using again,
so I told him to leave me.
And he doesn't bother to check in?
[scoffs] What a dick.
He says he's sorry for not checking in.
He's just coming up for air. He moved to California.
[Patty] Oh, right!
I heard that, too.
[Magnolia] So there wasn't anything traumatic,
just me getting high.
Yeah. Well, that solves it. Right? You got into a fight with your dad,
you called Christian, and then boom! You hit your head.
Mystery solved. And now we can go to the dance.
- [Patty laughs] - Fine, Patty.
[Bob] Patty's crisis was averted, and so was mine.
We made the apology video and sent it to all the local media outlets.
[reporter] Earlier today,
firefighters saved Masonville's most beloved stray cat from a tree.
And speaking of pussies, we now bring you an apology by lawyer,
pageant coach, and local mayoral candidate, Bob Armstrong.
- Did he just call me... - [Bob] I know that I was wrong,
and I'm so sorry...
for any pain that I've caused. [sobbing]
What a crybaby.
[Bob] There was more! They cut it down!
Let's see how the public reacted to Armstrong's apology.
First rule of politics: Never apologize.
He's completely lost my respect.
And people say women are too emotional to run for office.
I'd rather vote for the gay guy. This guy's a real sissy.
There you have it, folks. I know who I'll be casting my vote for.
Mr. Bob Barnard.
[Bob sighs] I couldn't believe it.
I had gone from being a dick to being a...
[meows]
[upbeat music]
[Patty] With the Magnolia issue resolved,
I could finally have my happily ever after with Brick.
But I had to fix things with my bestie first.
Give me a sec. I'll be right back.
Okay.
Hey! I'm really sorry about earlier.
But maybe Brick and I and you and Dee could...
Dee's not coming. She got stuck doing a term paper.
That sucks.
But I have something that'll make you feel better.
[music changes]
Did you?
In case the apology didn't work.
May I?
You may.
Thanks for coming with me!
Good thing that the costume store still had one couple's costume left.
Yeah. I'm guessing brother-sister dates aren't exactly trending.
You know,
we're not really brother-sister
because...
I'm adopted and you're pretty hot.
That's... That's not how it works. We're still blood-related.
Whatever.
Okay, I have to go pee now.
Uh, P-E-E, not the vegetable.
My baby! I missed you so much!
I am not your baby.
I cannot believe that you have been lying to me for all these years.
No! No! No!
Only about how I got you.
That doesn't change the fact that I love you with all of my heart.
Oh, Dixie...
Out of all the babies
that I could've stolen at the mall that day,
I chose you.
I mean, if I had known
how that fine brother of yours would turn out,
maybe I would've chosen him.
You could've at least told me I was Korean.
Well, I didn't know. Your mom was eating Panda Express.
Oh, and if I was in a Sbarro's, would you have thought that I was Italian?
Maybe?
[sighs]
I'm so sorry, baby.
I've done some bad things,
and I love you more than anything.
But I can't go back to jail.
So...
I just wanted to say...
goodbye.
You've got a new family now.
[muffled clattering]
[cheering]
[Brick] Hey, who's that guy with Patty?
Does he go to our school?
He's my biological brother.
I brought him along.
Didn't have a date.
So,
why aren't you dancing?
What?
Oh, come on. Come on. I'll dance with you. Let's go!
What's wrong?
Magnolia.
- I think she's wearing my costume. - What do you mean?
Your costumes are totally different.
Brick, did you give Magnolia the first dress you got me?
The one that didn't fit.
Yeah. You weren't using it.
You didn't think that might make me feel bad?
She looks amazing.
Well, so do you!
And I feel bad for her. I mean, she's here all alone.
[Magnolia] I came to feel a part of things,
but what I realized was that the one person
I wanted to connect with most was here with someone else.
Hey, I'm gonna go check on her. I'll be right back.
[Patty] I stopped Magnolia from ruining my life,
but she still managed to ruin my night.
Hey!
Oh. Hey.
You okay?
I'm great.
I had an amazing day.
I'm definitely applying to Hughes, and I made some new friends. How are you?
Ready for your big night with Patty?
Yeah, I'm good. I'm great actually.
Wow. You sound confident.
Well, yeah, I've been practicing.
Wait, I'm sorry. You what?
I watched those YouTube videos, like you said...
- Oh, my gosh! - ...and I spent the entire day
- making out with fruit. - Brick, you did not.
I did, and don't laugh 'cause it helped.
- Whatever you say. - I mean it. I'm way better.
- Sure you are. Yeah. - And you don't believe me.
Brick, I don't care. Honestly.
I can prove it to you.
- Okay, like you would ever... - I will prove it to you!
[door opens]
Oh, shit.