1 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,598 Some people are destined for greatness, 2 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,600 born under a lucky star. 3 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:20,604 But me, I was destined for disaster. 4 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,106 That was the story of my life. 5 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:26,401 Only I would get kidnapped in the middle of a kidnapping. 6 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,489 Last thing I remembered, I was zapping Roxy, 7 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,658 and then I blacked out. 8 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,618 It had to be Christian. 9 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,328 He abducted that girl in Brazil. 10 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:37,829 Who else could it be? 11 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,004 Stella Rose? 12 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,214 Roxy? 13 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,590 Hola. 14 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,010 - Why would you? - What? Kidnap you? 15 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,096 Why were you gonna kidnap Roxy? 16 00:00:56,014 --> 00:01:00,519 Because I was worried she was gonna beat me at Regionals. 17 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,188 If that's what this is about, I'll drop out. I promise. 18 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:06,567 Oh, you think I'm threatened by you? Dream on. 19 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,818 Then why? 20 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,528 Bob Armstrong. 21 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,239 He doesn't coach me anymore. 22 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,782 He coaches her. 23 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,160 Not when we get through with him. 24 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,580 Let me go. You'll get caught. 25 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:22,332 You'll go to jail. - No.You'll go to jail. 26 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,502 You stole the truck, you tried to abduct Roxy, 27 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,170 and I've got the proof. 28 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:31,091 I still can't believe you let her do that to me. It hurt like a bitch. 29 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,676 Well, I had to make it look authentic. 30 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:34,219 Help! 31 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,264 - Help! Help! - Ah, I knew we should have gagged her. 32 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,350 I've been kidnapped by two crazy bitches. Help! 33 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,936 Help! Ow! Ow! 34 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,191 I couldn't believe that this was actually happening. 35 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,027 That I might have a threesome 36 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,864 with the two people I loved most in the entire world. 37 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,618 I had always been taught that you couldn't have your cake and eat it too, 38 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,411 but maybe that was wrong. 39 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,581 Maybe this was my chance to be fully happy. 40 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,723 What if life could actually be this delicious. 41 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,808 Could we really make a meal of this? 42 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,812 Could the three of us be happy together? 43 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,565 Mom? 44 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,068 I thought he was at a Drew Barrymore book signing. 45 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,152 That's what he told me. 46 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,695 - Abort! Abort! - Okay. 47 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,864 If Patty were here, her car would be here. 48 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,491 Uh, maybe my mom knows where she is. 49 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:38,867 Mom? 50 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,829 - Ooh! - Hey, Mom... 51 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,041 I didn't hear you come in. 52 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,626 - What's going on? - What? 53 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,878 I thought you hated Dad and you wanted Bob dead. 54 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,505 - Oh. - No. 55 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,924 There's no reason to hold a hold a grudge. 56 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,470 Besides, your father and Bob generously offered to help me redecorate the bedroom. 57 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,639 - That's right. - Like I was saying, 58 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:05,644 I really think wall sconce's will give the space the oomph that it deserves. 59 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,062 - What do you think, Bob? - Oh, yeah. 60 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:12,192 I have so often been known to say that you can never go wrong with a sconce. 61 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,485 Mmm. 62 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,612 Coralee, have you seen Patty? 63 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,407 - Uh, no. Why? - Whose underwear are those? 64 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,033 - Mine. - Mine. 65 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:20,951 Thanks. Bye. 66 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,744 Oh, no. Wait. Brick. 67 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,622 Brick, we still need to talk. 68 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,375 No, we're fine. If Mom forgives you, so do I. 69 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:31,837 Oh, my God. 70 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,131 That was really close. 71 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,757 Do you think he bought it? 72 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,175 Fifty-fifty? 73 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,511 Oh, my God. 74 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,687 - We should tell them Patty's missing. - No way. We're not going back there. 75 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,606 But it's a huge deal that Patty missed Drew Barrymore. 76 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,192 That's like you missing a State Championship wrestling match. 77 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:57,612 Okay, look, when we spoke to her, she said she forgot about the book signing, 78 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,906 so maybe... maybe Drew's not as important to her anymore. 79 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,826 Maybe... maybe she's changed more than you think. 80 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,621 If she doesn't turn up by morning, yeah, we freak out. 81 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,957 But until then, go get some sleep. 82 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,463 They're gone. 83 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,089 Phew! 84 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,466 Great. Where were we? 85 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,636 Bob, are you crazy? Brick could come back at any time. 86 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,556 Well, um, let's get a hotel or... 87 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,517 Or we could just call it a night. 88 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,479 No. Let's... we can't lose the momentum. Come on. 89 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:33,690 I know, Bob, but I have an early appointment tomorrow. 90 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,901 And we gotta get up early in the morning 91 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,903 to talk to Roxy about her hair for regionals. 92 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,573 So, I guess... 93 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,700 this is goodnight? 94 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,038 I couldn't let this slip through my fingers. 95 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,918 - You coming? - I don't know. 96 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:57,631 I mean, if we're not getting divorced and we're not breaking up, 97 00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,674 where do I sleep? 98 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,553 I'll get a hotel room. 99 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,640 After we coach Roxy, we can all meet there. 100 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,308 Tomorrow? Yeah? Lunch? 101 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:09,226 Hmm? 102 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,019 Everyone game? 103 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:23,240 I had to find a way to get out to save Bob 104 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,283 and also my ears. 105 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,327 That's beautiful. 106 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,956 Where did you learn to play the harmonica? 107 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,875 It was my talent when I was a pageant girl. 108 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:40,090 Speaking of pageant girls, where is Roxy? 109 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,511 She's with Bob Armstrong getting ready for Regionals. 110 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,389 He'd be suspicious if she didn't show up. 111 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,353 The hell is that? 112 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,897 We're in the middle of nowhere. 113 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,108 If you scream... 114 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,902 I won't. I'll... I'll be quiet and... 115 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,195 No. You don't have to. 116 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,824 I fucking hate that bitch. 117 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,452 What the hell's going on here? 118 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,705 You guys make breakfast tacos? 119 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,833 - We got some hungry hunters out here. - I wanna eat a taco. 120 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,170 We're closed. 121 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,797 Go hunt your own breakfast. 122 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,299 You can't hunt a wiener. 123 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:23,925 Help! 124 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,011 Help! I've been kidnapped. 125 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,013 - What the...? - My daughter. She's mentally ill. 126 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,098 Sh... sh... 127 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,684 Shit. 128 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:35,270 Bye. 129 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:37,522 Oh! 130 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,108 Patty! 131 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,453 What the hell's that? 132 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,623 I don't know. 133 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:55,790 Let's kill it. 134 00:06:59,127 --> 00:06:59,961 Oh, shit. 135 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:04,883 Got it. 136 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,803 Seriously? I'm a taco. 137 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,264 I had no map, no phone, 138 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,266 just a wienie suit slowing me down. 139 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,353 Señor Wienie may have saved my life, 140 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,564 but if I was going to save Bob's, I needed to move faster. 141 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,700 I'm thinking an updo. 142 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,496 It'll show off the neckline of the dress, and you know what they say, 143 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,791 - "The higher the hair, the closer to God." - Okay. Hands off. 144 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,668 Bob back seat driver Barnard. 145 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,544 - I am the coach. - Mm-hmm. 146 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:45,215 Now, usually, I wouldn't do a butt cut. 147 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,218 It can make your nose look bigger but, 148 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,929 with the shape of that mouth. 149 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,598 - What's wrong with my mouth? - Oh, nothing, baby. It's perfect. 150 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,141 Yeah. For a porn set. 151 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,102 It has taken over your face 152 00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:01,898 and a middle part might offset that huge, horizontal line. 153 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,485 - Is he always this bitchy? - Only when he hasn't eaten. 154 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,487 We need to talk about extensions. 155 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,239 But they are expensive. 156 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,450 I will see if I can pull a favor at the salon, 157 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,995 and while I'm there, I will get this steamed. 158 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,540 I will see you at lunch. 159 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,628 No, gotta bring around front. 160 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,255 Dad. 161 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,799 I just got an email from the Miss Magic Jesus board 162 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,509 and they're reinstating me. 163 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,430 - I am now Co Miss Magic Jesus with Patty. - Oh, wow. Congrats. 164 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,140 Thanks! I have no idea how this happened. 165 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:39,185 Well, I called them and told them it was my fault that you cheated. 166 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,480 I couldn't live with myself having ruined your reputation. 167 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,274 That's amazing. 168 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,568 Just in time for me to sign up for Regionals. 169 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,739 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? - I thought you were done with pageants? 170 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:54,200 I was, but at rehab I realized 171 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,829 I only wanted out because you put so much pressure on me. 172 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,790 Now that you're not, it could be fun. 173 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,586 Plus, I miss the girls and the camaraderie. 174 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,922 The excitement of competition and that tense moment 175 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,466 right before they announce my name. 176 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,259 - All right, look. Slow down. - And... 177 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,262 Your therapist said pageants can be triggering, 178 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,681 and just talking about it you're getting all amped up. 179 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,017 I'm not amped. I'm excited. 180 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,728 All right. Well, I just... I just think, for now, 181 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,480 we should focus on your sobriety. 182 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,274 Why? So you can focus on Roxy? 183 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,487 I thought you wanted me to reach out to her? 184 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,740 If you didn't want me to compete, then why did you bother to fix this? 185 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,784 Because it was the right thing to do. 186 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,413 I think I liked you better when you didn't have integrity. 187 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:41,956 Magnolia... 188 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,144 Can you give me that candy? 189 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,357 What the hell! 190 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,027 You can't just sneak up on people like that. 191 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,863 And you can't be in Patty's house. What are you doing here? 192 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,532 Making muffins. 193 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,450 Looks to me like you're squatting. 194 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,036 No, it looks to me like she's standing. 195 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,873 I mean, she's living inside the empty house, and it's illegal. 196 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,793 Wouldn't be the first time I broke the law, right Brick? 197 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,671 - You need to go like now. - But my muffins! 198 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:30,922 Have you seen Patty? 199 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,967 - She's probably with her boyfriend. - What boyfriend? 200 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,219 Some guy named Christian. 201 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,388 He left her a gift. 202 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,601 Ooh. 203 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,853 With a card. 204 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,983 "Dear Patty, I love you. 205 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,570 I see the real you and I'm never letting you go. 206 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,029 Love, Christian." 207 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,366 - Do you think Christian... - It's time to call your Dad. 208 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,243 So, does that mean I can wait for my muffins? 209 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,578 - No! - No! 210 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,371 Whoopsie. 211 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,290 That's cool. I'll just be dirty. 212 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:11,379 Dad, why aren't you answering your phone? You didn't pick up, I called the deputy. 213 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,382 - He said you'd be here. - What's the emergency? Everything okay? 214 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,341 No. 215 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:19,012 Patty's missing. We think her psycho ex-boyfriend abducted her. 216 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,472 Nonnie, this is Patty we're talking about. 217 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,100 You told me yourself she's been acting crazy. 218 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,227 Heard anything? My dad is totally freaking out. 219 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,355 No. Guys just checked Swallow Creek. It's already gone. 220 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,524 - What happened? - Somebody stole the Weenmobile. 221 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,569 It's supposed to be at the Schwarz Bar Mitzvah, see? 222 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,946 But this came up about an hour ago. 223 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,032 I have no idea who could've taken it. 224 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,827 That's Patty's handwriting. 225 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:47,040 Oh, my God. What if she stole the truck? 226 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,374 Why would she do that? 227 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,752 Regionals are coming up 228 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,421 and she goes crazy when she's stressed. 229 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,089 So if she stole the Weenmobile, 230 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,091 she's probably binge eating everything inside. 231 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,260 Good news is we don't have to save her from Christian. 232 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,220 No. 233 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,388 We have to save her from herself. 234 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,683 Dad. Put out a BOLO on the Weenmobile. 235 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,483 I had to recapture the magic of the night before. 236 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,903 If I could have them both, I wouldn't have to choose, 237 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:20,156 and that was the only way I could truly be happy. 238 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,374 - Hey. - Hi. 239 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,335 Wow, Bob. 240 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,671 You really outdid yourself. 241 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:37,257 Well, I wanted things to be perfect. 242 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,217 This is unchartered territory, so... 243 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,095 Um... 244 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,221 What... what's that? 245 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,349 I'm not sure, but... 246 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,142 it looks effective. 247 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,061 I thought it best to have toys 248 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,314 in case two of us are busy and the other one is... 249 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,232 Oh. 250 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,235 Okay, Bob, I don't think I can do this. 251 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,946 What? No. Okay, look, fine, we'll lose it. 252 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,115 See? Putting it away. 253 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:10,707 Sorry. 254 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:15,169 No, it's not just whatever that is, it's just the whole... the whole thing. 255 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,504 I'm... I'm just not sure 256 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,590 I'm the type of person that can have a three-way. 257 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,592 Wait. No. This was your idea. 258 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,678 I know, I know, but that was last night. 259 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,805 I got super caught up in the moment and... 260 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,849 you know, I got to admit, it was kind of hot 261 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,976 seeing the two of you make out, okay, 262 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,519 but it feels kind of dirty. 263 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,438 Oh, no. Look. 264 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:41,487 This is about more than sex for me. 265 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:46,576 I want us to be together like a couple, but... but all three. 266 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,829 Like a... a thruple? 267 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:50,788 Yeah. That. 268 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,708 Oh, I don't know, Bob, that seems kind of out there. 269 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,085 But... that doesn't mean it's a bad idea. 270 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,923 I wanna be able to stay with you, 271 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,218 but I don't wanna feel there's this part of me 272 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,095 that's always longing for more. 273 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,890 Yeah, but... I don't need more. 274 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,684 I'm happy with just you. 275 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,646 I thought I didn't need more either... 276 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,191 and then Bob kissed me. 277 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:24,030 What if it's everything you never knew you always wanted. 278 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,461 Oh, hey, what's wrong? 279 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,004 Uh... 280 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,381 I got into a fight... 281 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,132 with Magnolia. 282 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,301 Oh, sweetheart, sit down. 283 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,929 Do you wanna talk about it? 284 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,723 I'm trying to do the right thing, 285 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,309 but I feel like I just keep screwing it all up. 286 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,853 I feel like a failure. 287 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:03,111 I mean, if you're a failure, then there's no hope for the rest of us. 288 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:08,866 Bob, ever since I first met you, I've wanted your life. 289 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,827 We both have. 290 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,038 Really? 291 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,875 'Cause I always wanted yours. 292 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:24,424 The two of you, you have something Etta Mae and I never had. 293 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,136 A real marriage. 294 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,639 Real intimacy. 295 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,144 I want this. 296 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,649 This is right here. 297 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,404 What do you mean? 298 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,201 Maybe... 299 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,370 what we have... 300 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,622 we can share. 301 00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,751 Bob was screwed because of me. 302 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:45,004 There was no way to warn him about Roxy and Stella Rose. 303 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,798 Not a single car had passed in two hours. 304 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:51,010 But wait, was my luck turning around? 305 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,804 Was something good finally going to happen? 306 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:55,932 Shit. 307 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,684 Amazing what you can pick up at Walmart. 308 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,354 Oh, I got handcuffs too. 309 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,731 Hope purple doesn't make you look fat. 310 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,107 Now get in. 311 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,120 What? 312 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,330 Oh. 313 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,998 Aren't you Dixie's mom? 314 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,959 Yes, I am, hotsicle. 315 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,045 Give a lady a hand. 316 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,130 Ooh. Why? 317 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:29,924 How can I help you? 318 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,009 I'm looking for Patty Bladell. 319 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,010 Well... 320 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,555 you upgraded and... 321 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,182 I happen to have a thing... 322 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,393 for younger men. 323 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:47,066 - Hey, that's my girlfriends bracelet. - No, it's mine. 324 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:50,361 Bullshit. It has a GPS tracking chip that I used to find her here. 325 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:53,906 That is pretty intense Stalker, Texas Ranger. 326 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,324 I'm not a stalker. 327 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,745 I need to know where she is at all times, at least until she takes me back. 328 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,831 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not judging. 329 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,082 Everyone has their quirks. 330 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,127 You stalk, I'm a terrible person. 331 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:10,673 Plus, I appreciate someone who won't take no for an answer. 332 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,385 But I'm telling you, you're going about this the wrong way. 333 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:15,720 What do you mean? 334 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,347 Winners win at any cost. 335 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,767 You need to be willling to go to an alliance to get what you want. 336 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:24,353 Hello. I tried putting a tracking device on her. 337 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,314 I'm pretty sure that's going to any lengths. 338 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:29,900 You're sitting on the sidelines. You need to get in the game, son. 339 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,903 You need a grand, romantic gesture. 340 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:35,656 Oh, like the boom box in Say Anything. 341 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,199 Look... 342 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:42,288 just figure out what Patty wants more than anything in the world 343 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,958 and you figure a way to give it to her. 344 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,337 Can't believe I'm taking life tips from someone who lives in a cardboard box, 345 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,839 but good advice is good advice. 346 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,717 I can't believe baby Jesus sent me a hot teen werewolf, so... 347 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:02,850 I have been kidnapped by the same people twice in one day. 348 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,394 It was a perfect metaphor for my life. 349 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:09,815 Every time I thought I made progress, I ended up in exactly the same spot. 350 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,068 Don't count on those hunters coming to your rescue. 351 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:15,112 After your litle stunt, we moved this truck so far away 352 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,531 even my bloodhounds couldn't sniff you out. 353 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,743 She's not going anywhere. 354 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:24,163 Let's go, Momma. Time to lower the boom on Bob. 355 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,831 Why are you helping her? 356 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,375 What did Bob ever do to you? 357 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,460 Other than being the reason I grew up in foster care? 358 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,004 What did he have to do with that? 359 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:36,926 I was too devastated over losing him to raise a child. 360 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,178 Because you got dumped? 361 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,181 Wow, you're crazier than you look. 362 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,016 I'm not crazy. 363 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,188 Another text from Nonnie. 364 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,524 She and a guy named Christian have sent her like a million. 365 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,360 Text her back. If she don't answer, they'll get suspicious. 366 00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,157 "Sorry I ghosted. 367 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,451 Laying low. 368 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,831 Freaking out about the competition." 369 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:13,546 Later loser. Next time I see you, I'll have a crown on my head. 370 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:31,439 I thought if I lost weight, I'd have a fresh start. 371 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,608 If people liked me, if I had a boyfriend, 372 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,943 if I got the crown, 373 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,778 but none of it mattered. 374 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,156 It was always the same story, 375 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:44,076 which meant I couldn't save Bob and I couldn't save myself. 376 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,911 Roxy was right. 377 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,496 I was a loser. 378 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:48,873 Always had been. 379 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,917 Call it a curse. Call it bad luck. 380 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,210 Call it fate. 381 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,838 No wonder bad things kept happening to me. 382 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,257 Bladell women never win. 383 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,185 Hey. I need you to hook me up. 384 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,020 Why? I heard you got clean. 385 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,271 I did. 386 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,606 I mean, I am. 387 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:20,529 My dad won't let me compete at Regionals because he thinks pageants are a trigger. 388 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,281 You know what's really a trigger? 389 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:25,868 Him letting my secret half-sister be in pageants instead of me. 390 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:31,207 I wanted him to make things right with her, not replace me with her. 391 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:35,085 Fuck him. He's clearly doing what he wants to do. 392 00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:36,712 Why don't you? 393 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:39,632 You're right. 394 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,468 I'm gonna go over to registration, 395 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,178 I'm gonna sign up for Regionals, 396 00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,514 and I'm gonna kick Roxy's ass. 397 00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,767 You sound pretty sure of yourself. 398 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,977 Not worried about the competition? 399 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,772 I am the competition. 400 00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:57,399 I've never lost a pageant, 401 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,026 and I never will. 402 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,279 Need a ride to registration? 403 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,578 I had spent so much of my life feeling like a loser, 404 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,624 but that day, I felt like I had won at life. 405 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,084 We had the cake. 406 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:16,585 We ate it, 407 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,712 and it was more than just sex. 408 00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:21,131 We had shared real intimacy. 409 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,932 - Oh, no, no. - No. 410 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:33,811 You may be able to ignore your dad, but I can't. 411 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,896 Supposed to have a meeting later. 412 00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:42,361 Something tells me he's gonna strip me of my senior partnership. 413 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:44,113 I gotta go. 414 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,740 Try not to have too much fun without me. 415 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:54,999 So? 416 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:57,042 What do you think? 417 00:22:59,044 --> 00:22:59,879 Well... 418 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:02,798 it was weird, 419 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:04,675 and crazy, 420 00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:10,389 and there were a lot of arms, and legs, and beards. 421 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,558 But did you like it? 422 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,271 I loved it. 423 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:25,779 Maybe it was everything I never knew I always wanted. 424 00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:38,417 Who knew this would be the next phase in our marriage. 425 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:41,587 - A thruple? - I know. 426 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:44,298 There's so much to work out. Where we're gonna live. 427 00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,342 What we tell the kids. 428 00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,218 Oh, ugh. 429 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:51,305 Roxy has a huge zit on her face. 430 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:55,517 I have to do a pre-pageant skin-tervention asap. 431 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,395 Well, go. We'll catch up later. 432 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:01,941 Gotta shower first. 433 00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,361 Can't have me coaching looking thoroughly three-wayed. 434 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:06,278 Bob? 435 00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:10,449 I really do love you. 436 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:13,077 I really, really love you. 437 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:20,918 They always say good things come in threes. 438 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,671 I had Coralee, I had Bob. 439 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:27,341 All that was left was Roxy winning Regionals. 440 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,386 Hi, Bob. 441 00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:33,764 What are you doing here? 442 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:38,560 Did you really think that Roxy was gonna leave me for you two hole punchers? 443 00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,354 What? I don't understand. 444 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,940 Your services as her coach are no longer required. 445 00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:46,026 Actually, they never were. 446 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:47,820 We played you. 447 00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:53,492 I wanted you to think that you were finally gonna get everything you wanted. 448 00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:56,537 To finally know what it felt like to be a winner, 449 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,622 coaching a real champion, 450 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,041 only to have it all ripped away... 451 00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,335 by me. 452 00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:04,420 That's sick. 453 00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:06,171 You are sick. 454 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,090 Oh, you have no idea. 455 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:12,511 So, how does it feel to be left out in the cold? 456 00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:18,225 Actually, it feels fine. 457 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,355 What do you mean, it feels fine? 458 00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:27,401 I just told you your pageant dreams are over, 459 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:29,903 and you can't go running back to Patty. 460 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,155 I don't care. 461 00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:36,493 And believe me, no one is more surprised than me. 462 00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:41,040 Pageants are your drug of choice. They're the most important thing to you. 463 00:25:41,123 --> 00:25:41,957 I guess... 464 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,418 I guess not any more. 465 00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:50,924 I don't understand. 466 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,134 I know. 467 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:58,515 You'll never understand what it feels like to be loved this completely. 468 00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:00,434 To feel this satisfied. 469 00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:03,062 What are you talking about? 470 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,731 Because you think love is a zero sum game, 471 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,151 and that is why you will always be alone. 472 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:12,321 Don't you dare judge me... 473 00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:14,948 after everything you put me through. 474 00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:19,036 I will never... 475 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,038 let you be happy. 476 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,625 I will never let you win. 477 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,335 I already have. 478 00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:40,015 Stella Rose... 479 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:43,602 are you okay? 480 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:45,270 No, definitely not. 481 00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,065 But I will be once I'm through with you. 482 00:26:49,817 --> 00:26:50,859 What are you gonna do? 483 00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:54,279 Well, a bit of a change of plans. 484 00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:56,824 I was just gonna let Bob think he could have Roxy 485 00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:58,867 and then rip away his pageant dreams, 486 00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:02,121 but I... I had to make sure he wouldn't go running back to you. 487 00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:05,082 - I-I don't understand. - And that's why we grabbed you. 488 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:06,875 Take away his plan B. 489 00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:10,337 But now, I'm gonna make sure 490 00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:14,466 that he is never happy about anything ever again. 491 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:15,843 What do you mean? 492 00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:20,305 I'm gonna kill you... 493 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:24,393 and make it look like you took yourself out because of him. 494 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,770 I'm gonna rig this hose to the exhaust pipe. 495 00:27:26,854 --> 00:27:28,313 You'll die of asphyxiation. 496 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,149 You're insane. 497 00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:31,733 You know, I-I-I-I wasn't. 498 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:35,028 I spent a year in a psycho ward and I was fine. 499 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,489 But then Bob came back into my life... 500 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,825 because of you, and... 501 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:42,911 it all just... 502 00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:46,206 came flooding back. 503 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:49,877 And now he's gotta pay. 504 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,130 Bob will blame himself for your death. 505 00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:55,799 And he'll never get over it. 506 00:27:56,466 --> 00:27:58,177 My best friend, her dad is a cop. 507 00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:00,554 - You'll never get away with this. - I will. 508 00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:07,561 Because your suicide note is gonna be very, very convincing. 509 00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:12,316 Now, you make sure you get this verbatim. 510 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:17,613 "Dear Bob, I thought you loved me..." 511 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:19,239 Why aren't you writing? 512 00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:20,532 I don't want to. 513 00:28:20,991 --> 00:28:23,577 Do it or I'll put your face in the fryer! 514 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:34,296 "Dear Bob, 515 00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:37,925 I thought you loved me. 516 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:41,386 I thought you were my role model, 517 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,722 a father figure 518 00:28:45,849 --> 00:28:48,352 and that maybe one day, even more, 519 00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:49,561 but now I know... 520 00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:52,648 it's never gonna happen... 521 00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,901 since you abandoned me. 522 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,111 And I don't blame you 523 00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,240 because I'm a loser... 524 00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:05,035 and I don't deserve to live." 525 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,626 What are... what are you doing? 526 00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:14,002 Painting a picture. 527 00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:16,088 Suicide was your last resort, 528 00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:20,968 but first, you turned to the only friend you ever had. 529 00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:23,262 A fudge weiner. 530 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,934 And when you couldn't numb the feelings with the food, 531 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,311 you took your own life. 532 00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,022 Mmm-mmm. 533 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,692 No, that's not who I am. That's not who I am anymore. 534 00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:38,193 Bullshit. 535 00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:41,446 You'll always be Fatty Patty. 536 00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,156 That's your legacy. 537 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:51,164 I had never heard it said out loud 538 00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:53,583 or seen it written down all at once. 539 00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:56,545 The suicide note I was writing, 540 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,297 the picture Stella Rose was painting, 541 00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:01,633 that was a story I'd been told my whole life. 542 00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:05,178 Here. 543 00:30:06,722 --> 00:30:07,723 Enjoy it. 544 00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:08,849 Mmm-mmm. 545 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,934 It'll be your last meal. 546 00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:15,063 Bon appétit... 547 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,733 Fatty Patty. 548 00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:25,115 But that's when I realized, it was only true if I believed it. 549 00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:29,578 Bad things would only keep happening to me if I thought that's what I deserved. 550 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:40,047 It was time to write my own story. 551 00:30:40,547 --> 00:30:42,799 I wasn't a loser when I was fat, 552 00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:44,760 and I wasn't a loser now. 553 00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:46,595 I was a winner, 554 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,430 and winners win. 555 00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:49,848 Period. 556 00:31:11,078 --> 00:31:13,372 Stella Rose only had it half right. 557 00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:18,877 Food had been my only friend, but now it saved my life. 558 00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:22,130 Besides, she was the least of my concerns now. 559 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:23,548 I was a winner, 560 00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:26,510 and I got to Regionals registration just in time to prove it. 561 00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:31,973 Hi. Patty Bladell. 562 00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:33,183 Miss Magic Jesus. 563 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:42,150 Oh, my God, you're alive, 564 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:43,068 and sticky. 565 00:31:43,151 --> 00:31:44,027 Sorry. 566 00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:46,154 How'd you guys know I would be here? 567 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:48,198 Nonnie's dad put a BOLO out on the wiener mobile. 568 00:31:48,281 --> 00:31:50,075 You know, the one that you stole. 569 00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:53,453 I'm sorry. It's a long story. 570 00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:57,999 I can explain more later. 571 00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,626 Wait, wait. Where are you going? 572 00:31:59,709 --> 00:32:02,546 Magnolia says she has something that'll help me win Regionals. 573 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,548 - Why would she want to do that? - I have no idea. 574 00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:07,759 But at this point, I could use all the help I can get. 575 00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:10,053 I'm gonna call you later, okay? 576 00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:12,597 But my dad's truck? 577 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:13,515 Okay. 578 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,310 - Good? - Mm-hmm. 579 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,312 Ooh! 580 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,230 Uh... 581 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:21,648 What's all this? 582 00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:25,944 We thought it would be fun to cook you dinner. 583 00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:29,448 And I have great news. I got my first investor for Tampazzle. 584 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:32,159 And how'd it go with my dad. Are you still senior partner? 585 00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:33,452 I need to talk to you... 586 00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,078 alone. 587 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:37,873 What's up? 588 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,418 Well, it really is just between you and me, so... 589 00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:42,419 Well... 590 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,672 The only way this is gonna work for all three of us, 591 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:49,092 we... we can't keep secrets from each other anymore. 592 00:32:49,176 --> 00:32:50,469 I-I agree. 593 00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:54,222 I mean, any good relationship is built on the foundation of trust. 594 00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:57,809 Hold on. What exactly do you guys think is going on here? 595 00:32:58,268 --> 00:32:59,936 - What? - What do you mean? 596 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:04,649 It's what we talked about, the three of us together, like a thruple. 597 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:05,775 A what? 598 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:08,612 Uh, like a couple, but with three. 599 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:11,281 No, I never agreed to be in a relationship. 600 00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:13,909 I just figured the three of us would have sex sometimes 601 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,327 so you didn't feel left out. 602 00:33:17,871 --> 00:33:19,456 So I didn't feel left out? 603 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:20,999 What... what is wrong with that? 604 00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:25,837 Well, it kind of sounds like you were taking one for the team. 605 00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:29,966 Well, I told you I was gay emotionally. 606 00:33:30,050 --> 00:33:31,092 Oh, my God. 607 00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:33,345 Oh, my God, I knew this was a terrible idea. 608 00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,596 No, no. It wasn't. 609 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,223 I will not be a sex toy. 610 00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:38,141 - You're not. You weren't. You're not. - Okay. 611 00:33:38,225 --> 00:33:40,727 And I will not be the third wheel in my own marriage. 612 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:42,479 That is not what he is saying. 613 00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,272 Well, that is kind of what I'm saying. 614 00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:48,276 No. No. No. 615 00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:52,113 It doesn't work if it's not all three of us. 616 00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:55,825 For you, Bob, for you. But it works for me if it's just us. 617 00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:59,621 Look, I just gave up my entire political career for you. 618 00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:01,331 What are you talking about? 619 00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:03,959 That's what I wanted to tell you in private. 620 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:08,755 Your dad said he'd back my campaign for Mayor, 621 00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:11,550 but only if I broke up with you. 622 00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:13,552 He what? 623 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:14,553 Yeah. 624 00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:18,515 He said he didn't want his gay son in the public eye 625 00:34:18,598 --> 00:34:21,017 and that it was a small price to pay 626 00:34:21,101 --> 00:34:23,812 for me to get what I always wanted. 627 00:34:24,813 --> 00:34:28,733 Except what I really always wanted was you. 628 00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:34,281 I picked you Bob, 629 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,325 and now, I need you to pick me too. 630 00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:41,663 You need me. But... 631 00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:42,789 He's right, Bob. 632 00:34:43,873 --> 00:34:45,709 This isn't fair on either one of us. 633 00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,961 No, no, no. But... but you... you said... 634 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,588 I said I would try. 635 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:52,507 And we barely tried, and it was... 636 00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:55,093 so good. 637 00:34:55,176 --> 00:34:56,261 We... we... 638 00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:57,721 we had fun. 639 00:34:57,804 --> 00:35:00,974 We had great sex. We were connected. 640 00:35:01,057 --> 00:35:02,684 It was... we had everything. 641 00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:06,855 Bob. 642 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:08,815 It's not gonna work. 643 00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:12,277 It's time to choose. 644 00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:14,279 But... 645 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,157 if I choose, 646 00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:19,951 either way I lose. 647 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:22,078 Well... 648 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,457 if you don't choose, you're gonna lose us both. 649 00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:41,806 Magnolia? 650 00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:48,146 Hey, beautiful. 651 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,441 What are you doing here? 652 00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:53,360 I was supposed to meet Magnolia. 653 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,028 I know. 654 00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:56,946 Come here. 655 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:10,335 Christian? 656 00:36:11,878 --> 00:36:14,339 - What did you do? - It's a grand, romantic gesture. 657 00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:18,551 You said you were worried about the competition, so I took care of it. 658 00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:20,804 Magnolia doesn't even do pageants anymore. 659 00:36:20,887 --> 00:36:24,140 She is. She went back and she never loses. So... 660 00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:30,397 Is she... 661 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,024 dead? 662 00:36:33,108 --> 00:36:36,069 Not yet. I just roofied her and kidnapped her. 663 00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:38,113 What do you mean, not yet? 664 00:36:39,155 --> 00:36:40,073 I figured... 665 00:36:41,449 --> 00:36:43,034 we could do that part together. 666 00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:48,248 What makes you think that I would ever... 667 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:50,083 You said you wanted to be a winner, 668 00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:52,502 and winners win at any cost. 669 00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:54,671 I didn't mean this. 670 00:36:55,755 --> 00:36:59,134 - What are you doing? - What kind of person would kidnap someone? 671 00:37:04,806 --> 00:37:05,640 What? 672 00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:09,144 Me. I-I would. 673 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,354 I would kidnap someone. I tried. 674 00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:12,605 What are you talking about? 675 00:37:12,689 --> 00:37:15,442 I tried. I tried to kidnap Roxy, my biggest competition. 676 00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:17,485 See? We are the same. 677 00:37:17,694 --> 00:37:21,156 The only thing that stopped me was that I was kidnapped first. 678 00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:24,284 You... What? How'd you get away? 679 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:30,206 I did some pretty dark shit. 680 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:33,501 Great. 681 00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:35,587 So, let's do some more. 682 00:37:44,637 --> 00:37:46,389 - You want me to... - Kill her. 683 00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:49,476 - No. - Yes. 684 00:37:50,143 --> 00:37:52,187 You said it yourself. There's no demon. 685 00:37:53,146 --> 00:37:55,023 That everything bad you've ever done, 686 00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:56,649 it's just you. 687 00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,402 That doesn't make me a killer. 688 00:37:59,486 --> 00:38:01,780 Why not? We killed that homeless guy. 689 00:38:03,865 --> 00:38:04,824 This isn't the same. 690 00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:06,576 Stop fighting it. 691 00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:08,578 Embrace it. 692 00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:10,079 Be the demon. 693 00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:12,332 Patty? 694 00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:14,709 Patty, what's happening? 695 00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:17,921 I didn't know what was happening. 696 00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,881 Could Christian be right about me? 697 00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:23,218 Was this what it meant to be a winner at any cost? 698 00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:25,929 Maybe I still had my story all wrong. 699 00:38:26,429 --> 00:38:29,474 Maybe I did deserve all the bad things that happened to me. 700 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:33,728 Not because I was a loser, but because I was just bad. 701 00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:36,731 Patty, do it now. She's seen us. You have to. 702 00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,399 - Do what? - Patty, now. 703 00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:40,068 Do it or I will. 704 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:41,486 No! 705 00:38:42,946 --> 00:38:43,780 Ow. 706 00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:45,198 Magnolia, run. 707 00:38:49,786 --> 00:38:50,703 You idiot. 708 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,332 She'll go to the police. We'll both go to jail. 709 00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:55,542 I was protecting her. 710 00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:58,336 You think that makes you what, a hero? 711 00:38:58,628 --> 00:38:59,629 You're the villain. 712 00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:02,549 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 713 00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:06,344 Every time you try to do something good, you fuck it up. 714 00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:08,972 - That's not true. - You pushed Dixie off a truck. 715 00:39:09,556 --> 00:39:11,933 - You dumped her out of a wheelchair. - Stop. 716 00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:12,976 You ruined Bob's life. 717 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,602 - Tried to kidnap Roxy... - Stop talking. 718 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,104 - And you would have... - Stop talking. 719 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:17,021 Face it. 720 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:18,773 You're a bad person. 721 00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:21,150 I'm a good person! I'm a good person! 722 00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:23,319 - Patty. Stop. - I'm a good person. 723 00:39:23,403 --> 00:39:24,821 - Patty? - I'm a good person. 724 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,281 I'm a good person. 725 00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:27,991 I'm a good person. 726 00:39:28,575 --> 00:39:29,701 I'm a good person. 727 00:39:30,159 --> 00:39:31,160 I'm a good person. 728 00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:32,745 I'm a good person. 729 00:39:32,829 --> 00:39:34,372 I'm a good person. 730 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:35,748 I'm a good person. 731 00:39:51,973 --> 00:39:54,976 They had asked me to choose, but how could I? 732 00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:58,396 For me, it was an impossible choice. 733 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,940 I had tasted true happiness, and then... 734 00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:02,984 poof, it was gone. 735 00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:04,736 And now I had nothing. 736 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:08,031 No pageant winner, no Bob, 737 00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:09,574 no Coralee. 738 00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:11,993 I was destined to die alone. 739 00:40:21,961 --> 00:40:25,131 But Patty Bladell had other plans. 740 00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:43,733 Thank you for coming. I'm so sorry, I didn't know who else to call. 741 00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:45,777 Patty, what happened? 742 00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:52,325 Oh, my God! 743 00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:57,455 Okay. Please. Bob, you have to help me. 744 00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:06,714 Tell me exactly what happened. 745 00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:15,556 We are not calling the police. We can't. 746 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,351 Why not? It was self-defense. He was dangerous. 747 00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:21,938 Only after the first few blows. You must have hit him, like, 37 times. 748 00:41:22,271 --> 00:41:23,147 Oh, my God. 749 00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:25,483 You think I'm a murderer. 750 00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:26,859 No, I didn't say that. 751 00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:28,444 I'm a bad person. I am a bad person. 752 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:30,947 - I'm... I'm worse than bad. - Patty? Calm down. 753 00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:33,366 I don't even know why you're here. I ruined your life. 754 00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:34,826 'Cause you also saved it. 755 00:41:37,954 --> 00:41:39,414 What are you talking about? 756 00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:46,254 I was gonna kill myself when you called tonight. 757 00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:47,672 Oh, my God. Bob. 758 00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:50,633 And it is the second time it has happened. 759 00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:54,053 The first time, when you called to say you wanted to do pageants, 760 00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:56,180 I had a gun in my mouth then, too. 761 00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,851 I never much believed in destiny, 762 00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:03,479 but I am starting to think you and I, 763 00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:06,065 we're fated. 764 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,236 I feel that way too. 765 00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,156 You saved my life. 766 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,074 Twice. 767 00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:18,161 Now I am going to save yours. 768 00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:21,205 Whoa, whoa! 769 00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:23,041 Take off your clothes. 770 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,209 Now? 771 00:42:26,169 --> 00:42:28,212 Is this some kind of turn on for you? 772 00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,715 No, they are covered in blood. We gotta get rid of 'em. 773 00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:33,009 Come. I've got something you can wear in the car. 774 00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:20,056 What the fuck? 775 00:43:20,807 --> 00:43:24,018 What the fuck? 776 00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:25,728 Stop screaming. Someone might hear you. 777 00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:30,650 This has been the worst day ever! 778 00:43:30,733 --> 00:43:32,860 I tell you, I should have killed myself! 779 00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:37,240 Otherwise what else could possibly go wrong? 780 00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:41,035 Well... 781 00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:46,707 I may have... 782 00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:49,085 also... 783 00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:50,962 sort of... 784 00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:53,172 killed Stella Rose.