.
- Previously on "Good Girls"...
- Dear, Dean, I'm going to tell you
exactly what to do and how to do it.
- I know how we're going to wash that money.
We're robbing it, Stan.
- It's an armored truck.
- Swap fake for real. - Yo, Neil!
[dramatic music]
- I can't stop thinking about you.
- He wants more than dinner.
- DL Dave, you know, he and I were, like, all over.
I mean, like, everywhere.
- You want it to be her? - Yes.
- Get something to convince a DA.
- Selling hot tubs in my class?
- Kahuna Spas would love to be part of the ride.
- He's walking right into it.
- That's 'cause he has no idea what's going on.
- I got the account. - That's great!
- I also had to give him the books.
- Dean Boland, you're under arrest.
- Dean, I'll explain everything.
- What am I under arrest for? [car doors slam]
[hip-hop in background]
- Can I help you?
♪
- Yeah, I'm gonna need a refill.
- We don't do that.
- You do for Mountain Dew.
- It's not the same.
- Haven't I seen you
at our games before? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Yeah, suck it!
[laughter] You serious with that?
- Hey! - Yeah, you're a cheerleader,
right? - Can you do something
about your friends? - Hey, ass face!
- Hey, you dick!
- There you go!
- Oh, bull's-eye!
[laughter]
- Yeah, that's right! You better keep running!
- Hurry! - Go, go, go!
♪
[upbeat music]
- ♪ I want you, aah, aah
♪ Hey
♪ I wanna wake up
[bell dings]
- Pigs.
- Smarter than dogs, right?
- Still gross.
- Yeah, well, so are my friends.
[LL Cool J's "Around the Way Girl"]
Oh, no.
♪
- What?
- Every time I hear this song,
just really weird things happen.
Look, I just, I can't be responsible
for anything I might do, okay?
- [laughs]
- ♪ I want a girl with extensions in her hair ♪
♪ Bamboo earrings, at least two pair ♪
♪ A Fendi bag
- [laughs] Okay, stop, I need that back.
- No, it's okay, don't worry about it.
I got, I got it, look. ♪ I need an around
- [laughs]
- ♪ An around the way girl
- [laughing]
- ♪ She's the only one for me
- ♪ I need an around the way girl ♪
- It was Elizabeth, right?
- Beth.
- Kay, well, I'm Dean.
- I know.
- You do?
- [laughs] You're the quarterback.
- Yeah, I know.
- [laughs]
- And don't worry about this. I got it, okay?
[laughs]
♪
[buzzer]
[overhead lights buzzing]
[click] - Can you hear me?
How'd you sleep?
- I didn't.
- This was this morning.
Jane went to school full Elsa.
Kenny's in Kalamazoo at his tournament.
- Do they know?
- Not yet.
And the accounts are frozen, so...
you might be here a minute.
- Tell me one thing.
Was he part of it?
Beth.
The whole time?
- I love you.
- We're finished here.
- I'm gonna fix this, okay? I promise.
- How?
[buzzer]
[door slams]
[chatter]
- That from the minibar? - Mm-hmm.
Is he talking? - So it's just a coincidence
that you're eating corn nuts
which are now gone from the corn nuts slot.
- You can take it from my room.
Did you get anything out of him?
- Not a word. - Get me in there.
- What's the point?
You're already getting a new office.
- I am? - Out of the basement.
- With a window? - Pack your bags.
- Five minutes.
- Take the W and call it a day.
- He's protecting her. - Why would he do that?
- 'Cause he has no idea what she's gotten into.
- They've been married for 20 years.
- So have you.
- What's that?
- Your wife has no idea
who you've gotten into.
But I do.
Because he's a real chatty Kathy.
- Are you really doing this?
- Just give me five minutes alone.
- I didn't know you had it in you.
- But I know everything that's--
- All right, all right, all right, enough.
You got your five minutes.
Leave the money for the corn nuts on top of the minibar.
- [sighs]
- So I'm sure you all have a lot of questions,
and I'm going to do my very best
to answer each and every one of them.
[upbeat music]
- Where's Dean at?
- He is a hot tub conference. - A very important one.
- Are we in trouble?
- No, no, no, no.
Just a little misunderstanding...
[plates crashing]
With our taxes.
- Can we FaceTime him?
- Ooh. [sucks teeth]
- There's not real good reception in, um...
- Uh, North Pole. - Yeah.
- He's with Santa?
- So if you all just hang tight,
we will have this all cleared up,
and we'll get back to work in a jiff.
- Does this count as vacation days?
- Think of it like a snow day.
Just enjoy yourself. Take a little me time.
- But you're still paying us, right?
♪
I miss Gayle. - When's he coming back?
- Uh, as soon as it's over.
- When's that? - When he's done.
- When's that? - Who wants another slice?
- He really screwed the pooch, huh?
Anything I can do to help my homie,
let me know.
- [grunts] - Where is our mom?
- She's, um, helping your dad.
- I need a loan.
- For what?
- Bail.
- Yeah, that's not my thing.
- I need to get him out.
- Nah. You need fall guy
if you're ever trying to make money again.
- It's not his fault.
- I told you to be smart, right?
- I was.
- Then how'd they get your books?
- He didn't know.
- Why he's the perfect fall guy.
- He didn't do anything!
- That's what makes it beautiful.
Got nothing to say.
Look, they'll cut a deal. Three years, club Fed.
- What about my kids? - Visitation.
- What about me? - Your boy will come back
in better shape than when he went in.
Might even want to hit it again.
- There's gotta be a way to get him out!
- Do the crime, do the time.
- But nothing ever sticks to you.
- Yeah, I got luck on my side.
Maybe you do too.
- What's that mean?
- Sink that eight ball.
Corner pocket, I'll cover his bail.
- [laughs]
I don't play pool.
- And I don't do loans.
- [sighs]
[soft, uneasy music]
♪
Like that? - Yeah, just like that.
Just hit it straight, okay?
- Ha! I did it!
[laughs] - Lucky shot.
- No, a deal is a deal. - Yeah, you're right.
Take it out of the cut you owe me.
- The place is swarming with secret service agents.
- So?
- So I can't wash, and I definitely can't print.
We're shut down.
- [clicks tongue] That's why you need a fall guy.
.
- Mom bootcamp.
- That's what you get for exercising.
- The bitch made me do her nails.
- Don't they have to tell you if they're cops?
- Only if you ask. - That's not a real thing,
and she's secret service.
- How's Deansie holding up?
- He doesn't have his mouth guard
or his sleep apnea machine, and his cellmate is in
for trying to set a guy on fire.
- That good, huh?
- Ugh, pink flavor.
- He can't be my fall guy. - Well, it can't be you.
- It should. - You have four kids.
- So does he.
- Ugh, orange flavor.
- Stop biting into all of them.
- What kinda psycho gets somebody fruit chocolates?
- A hitman.
- The man is sending you chocolate now?
- I mean, kinda.
- He wants me to go on a job with him.
- Where? - Fiji.
- [laughs] Maybe if these were caramels.
- I wish he'd just put a bullet in me.
- At this point
I think you're looking at a little pickle tickle.
- What am I gonna do? - Over the pants, real fast.
- About Dean.
- We'll figure something out.
- It's either him or me.
- Is it?
- Isn't it?
- On "First 48" people call in all the time
to confess to crimes they didn't commit.
- Why would anyone do that?
- I don't know, weirdo loners with nothing to lose.
Maybe being convicted gives them some purpose.
- Huh.
- Swimming, tennis,
art classes.
What kinda resort is this?
- Not a resort exactly.
[clacking] - Damn it!
- Can you take that upstairs?
- I mixed the trapezoid up with the rectangle again.
- I'm conducting business.
- Your aunt's just gonna send me right back down.
- She's napping.
You're allowed in the parlor till 4:30.
- [sighs]
It's my room too. [clacking]
- So what's the dillio?
- Well, think of it as a fresh start.
- We would pay off all your credit card debt
and throw in 100 grand for your trouble.
- Paid in installments.
- Why would you do that for me?
- Well, you'd actually be doing it for me.
- It's a jail?
- With benefits!
- Except for the part where you can't leave.
- Bu-but I hear the library is exquisite.
- I know this is a huge ask,
but you're the one who said
you wanted to help out your homie.
- You wanna pay me more money
than I've ever made in my entire life
to have my own room, unlimited TV privileges,
and vegan-friendly meals on an all male campus?
What's the shower situation?
- Um, probably group.
- Well, how do we get this party started?
- Um, just confess I guess, right?
- [laughs] - Well, I--
I think might actually need to do more than that.
- Wait. What do you mean?
- Well, they have Dean's name
on all the accounts,
so he may need to
get caught with something way worse,
you know, just to make sure.
[clacking] - Damn it!
- Chillax, man! You're gonna wake my aunt!
[loud footsteps]
- Remember when calculators used to double A?
- Remember when our calculators were our brain?
- [sighs]
This is supposed to be the smart school, right?
- Maybe they're doing bigger math.
- Yeah, but who just has
a lithium ion 2032 just laying around?
A physicist? Cyborg?
- Can I ask you something? - Yeah.
- I need to borrow some money.
- [sighs] Okay.
- It's more than
you got on you.
- What's going on?
- And I'm gonna need it in 1s.
- I'm not stealing from the club.
- It's for Dean. - Why do you need all 1s?
- To get him out of it. - Beth put you up to this.
- I offered. - Why?
- Because when you were in jail, she did the same for you.
- [sighs]
Think there's one of those batteries in my watch.
[EDM]
- Stan, toss me the aloe.
- Okay.
[sighs]
♪
Oh, I think Mindy used it all.
- I got pole burn bad.
- How 'bout some ice?
[Yelle's "Karaté"]
- [sighs] That's my song.
- Eesh, take it easy out there.
- Thanks, Stanimal.
- [singing in French]
♪
[beeping]
- Hey, buddy.
- Yo, Gene.
- Got a sec? - Uh, yeah, man,
I was just about to head back out to the floor.
- George'll cover you. Have a seat.
- All right, can always make time for the boss.
- So what that wife of yours make you for lunch today, huh?
- [laughs]
Uh, what was it today?
Penne pasta
with those little green balls.
- Peas?
- No, not those. The other ones, uh...
- Capers?
- Yep, there it is, those things.
- She treats you pretty good, huh?
- Yeah, man. She's the best.
- We treat you okay?
- Uh, yeah.
- You happy here?
- Hey, man, listen. [laughs]
I'm glad to have the job, you know?
- Good to hear, buddy. - Yeah.
- So there's no reason you'd be upset with me.
- What?
- You'd tell me if you were having any problems.
- For sure. - I got your back.
- 100%. - You got mine?
'Cause something's not adding up here, you know?
A few weeks ago, that thing with the bank truck burning up.
- Oh, yeah, that was crazy.
- Yeah, crazy.
Crazy how much it cost me.
- But, uh, doesn't insurance cover that stuff for--
- I have to keep them in the champagne room a little longer.
- [laughing]
Yeah, that's why you the king, man.
- Can't have it happen again though.
- Not on my watch.
I hear you loud and clear.
All right. [sighs]
- Oh, and whenever's good for you,
I would love to hear about them private parties
you've been running behind my back with my girls.
- Now's good.
- This is currency.
Like, top dollar.
You could trade it for anything:
supplies, TV time,
protection.
- Who are you?
- I know your wife.
- [laughs] I want a lawyer here.
- Chill, I just gave you a bunch of ramen.
I had this friend in high school.
Super cool.
Captain of the cheerleading squad.
- Hmm.
- Always had the newest jeans. The most expensive makeup.
Everyone wanted to be her,
including me.
She threw the best parties,
and I would bring the wine coolers.
I was, like, in.
We'd go to the movies, the mall.
We were besties before people used the word "besties."
And then my parents took away my fake ID,
and she stopped calling me back.
- What's your point?
- Women like your wife,
they use people,
and when they're done, they throw them in the trash.
- So you don't know my wife.
- I know the wrong person
is sitting across from me right now.
- So what?
- I just need something on her.
Without it, you're gonna need a lot more of these.
So what's gonna be, Mr. Boland?
.
[video game beeping]
- Hey.
Is your sister home?
- Doesn't wanna see you.
- Did you give her any of my messages?
- Hates your guts.
- She said that?
- Thinks you're a total loser,
regrets ever looking at your ugly face,
and wishes you'd just die.
- Hmm.
- Brutal.
- Yeah, so can I just go talk to her?
- What's it worth to you?
- Wow.
Okay. All right, fine.
- 4 bucks?
- That's all I got.
- You can owe me.
Deansie's here!
- No one calls me that.
- Annie.
Mom needs you.
What are you doing here?
- I called you like five times.
- [sighs] I've been busy.
- You haven't been at any of the games.
- I got a lot going on.
- I thought we were cool. - We are.
- 'Cause if I'm way off, it's totally okay.
- It's not that. - I don't wanna look like
a dick, you know?
- I can't find her meds.
- Be right there. - [sighs]
It's not you. - Gotcha.
So it's definitely me then.
- It's not either of us.
- It's okay. Don't worry about it.
I was gonna ask you to prom,
but it's all good.
- You were?
- I don't wanna put any pressure on you.
- I'd love to go.
- Uh, okay.
Cool.
- Yeah. Cool.
- [imitates vomiting]
[overhead lights buzzing]
- Mrs. Boland?
He doesn't wanna see you.
- [sighs]
Turns out if you make a fart noise
with every math problem he gets right, he can focus.
- Got your bills.
- How'd it go?
- [sighs] Piece of cake.
- I'm gonna pay you back.
It's just gonna take a second.
- No rush.
- Really?
You good?
- [sighs] Just thirsty.
[sighs]
- At a certain point,
you don't really need the glass, do you?
- Had a day.
- He'll get over it.
- What if he doesn't?
- You've done way worse.
- I'm a monster.
- I mean, he stuck around
after you bone surfed the guy who shot him.
- The kind that climbs skyscrapers
and destroys cities.
- Yeah, well, at least your kids
are still talking to you. - Because they don't know.
- Ben won't even look at me.
- Maybe they've all just had enough of us.
- [sighs]
God, we are monsters.
[door clicks open] - Incoming.
[sighs] Last dance, ladies.
- Let's make it a good one.
- Not too good.
[moody pop music]
♪
- You sure about this?
- It'll work.
- Looks legit.
- It's not. - Our worst batch yet.
- Your one way ticket to Shangri-La.
- All right.
See you hotties on the other side.
[grunts]
[sighs]
I'd like to open a new account.
- Certainly, sir.
I'm just gonna need you to fill out a few forms
and a valid ID.
Thank you. Um, just to let you know,
we do require a minimum balance of $50.
- Oh, that won't be a problem.
[grunts]
- Uh, w-what are you doing?
- Giving you 100,000 smackaroos to babysit.
- Um, anything over 10 grand
we have to report to the IRS.
- Ooh. That'll be a problem.
- Thought it might be. [laughs]
- So how 'bout we do 10 grand in ten different accounts?
- Um, we don't do that here, sir.
- Okay, okay.
9 grand in nine different accounts,
and uh,
you keep this for yourself.
- Is there a problem here?
- Uh, yes, there is. I'm being profiled.
- Excuse me?
- She won't take my hard-earned money.
- How is that profiling?
- Mustache. - [laughs] That's not a thing.
- Sir, we're a family-owned bank.
- Then take my money, it's good.
- We really don't want any trouble.
- Go ahead. Test it yourself.
- Why would we need to do that?
- Been in there a while. - Can we please just go?
- No, I wanna watch.
- Well, I don't.
I feel bad enough as it is.
- Shh. Listen.
[siren wailing]
- Here we go.
- Kay, show 'em the money.
- Ooh, ooh. It is on.
- Oh, boy, he is getting worked.
- [whistles]
- Was that really necessary?
- Fell for the honeypot.
- Okay, what are they doing now?
- All right.
What?
- Uh-oh.
- I go in the back.
Hey, I go in the back.
Hey. Guys.
- What the hell?
- What happened?
- I think I got robbed.
- By cops?
[sighs]
.
[phone rings]
- She's stable now.
We had to sedate her to pump her stomach.
She'll be out for a while.
Any other family I should notify?
- It's just me and my sister.
- Your mom's gonna be okay.
- I went to pick you up.
- Oh, God.
What'd she say?
- That you didn't wanna go.
At least not with me, 'cause...
I'm the dumbest, ugliest tool that's ever lived.
- I'm gonna kill her.
[sighs]
- But 40 bucks later,
and here I am.
- You didn't have to come.
- Got you something.
You look great by the way.
[both laughing]
[warm music]
- So do you.
- [scoffs] Yeah, I know.
- [laughing]
♪
[sighs]
- Um, do you want anything
from the vending machine?
- No.
- Okay, good, 'cause...
your little sister took all my money.
- [laughs]
- Here's a thought. - Oh, boy.
- I go right back in there, grab that guard's gun,
shoot up the place.
- Why? - Get their attention.
- So then they put you in jail with Dean
and not instead of. - Oh.
Plan C--
- Please no. - Try a different bank.
- And deposit what?
Those crooked cops took everything we made.
- Hey, maybe they'll realize it's fake,
and they'll come back and nab him.
- No, they didn't even look at my ID.
- Okay. What's plan C?
- Track those guys down. - The cops?
- We pull in front of their cruiser, jam on the brakes.
[imitates tires screeching] And they slam into us.
Bam! Airbags go off.
Pssh!
We hop out, shatter their window.
Cchh! Get the keys to the trunk.
- Make it stop.
- How can it possibly be this difficult to get you arrested?
- 'Cause I'm invisible.
- What do you mean?
- I've been that way my whole life.
Smack in the middle of nine kids,
you get used to being left in a hot car.
- That's terrible.
- It all kinda changed for me when the D-man got hired.
[laughs] Brought me to lunch with the rest of the crew.
Called me Eric.
- What'd everybody else call you?
- Scott.
- I see that. He's got a Scott vibe.
- Anyway, lunch becomes work drinks,
and next thing you know, I'm finally a real person.
Oh, they don't make them like Dean Boland anymore.
But I don't need to tell you that.
- I know.
- Plan D-- - No more plans, Eric.
- Thank Jesus.
- What do you want me to do?
- Nothing.
Hey. I made breakfast for dinner.
- I'm not hungry.
What are you doing?
- You are gonna eat this. - Can I go to the bathroom?
- You love breakfast for dinner.
- I ate at Mark's house!
- Oh, a lacrosse buddy?
- What do you want?
- I want you to talk me like a normal person.
- You're not a normal person.
- Then talk to me like you want me to be your mom again, like--
- I don't even know what that means.
- Like you don't hate me so much.
'Cause, you know,
if you...
if you're unhappy here...
you could always stay at your dad's more.
- You think I hate you?
- You haven't talked to me in, like, three days.
- It doesn't mean I hate you.
- Kay.
- I love breakfast for dinner.
- Me too.
- Makes sense though. - Hmm?
- Just for, like, practice and school and stuff.
- What?
- Staying with Dad more.
- Oh, yeah?
- Nancy would never go for it though.
She's, like, so OCD with Dakota.
- I could talk to her.
- Really? - Why not?
- I can just come back for some of the weekends.
- If that's what you want, yeah.
- Not that I want it.
It would just save a lot of time going back and forth.
- Cool.
- I still gotta pee.
- Yes.
[door clicks shut]
[children chatter]
- No classes today?
- I don't really teach boot camp.
- I don't really sell hot tubs.
- Yeah, I know.
- Mommy!
Look how high I'm going!
- Wow! Like an astronaut!
It all started about a year ago.
I robbed a grocery store.
It was supposed to be one and done.
Don't you want to record this or something?
- It doesn't matter.
- Why?
- Your husband pled guilty today.
- Mommy! Mommy, watch me!
.
- Jesus!
- Your elderly neighbor was getting curious
the longer I stood at your door.
- Why does everyone think
they can just let themselves in to my house?
- These things are extremely easy to find
once you know what you're looking for.
- I'd offer you a drink, but... - All set.
- I can't go to Fiji with you.
- Why not?
Huts over the water,
looking at the fish while you sip your cocktail,
nothing but privacy.
- I'm in a little bit of trouble right now.
- Perfect time for an escape. - And I have kids.
- Happy to make arrangements for them as well.
I hear your husband's gonna be tied up for a while.
- Put down your tea.
- Pardon me? - Get naked, come on.
- What? - Let's go!
- Now? - Why, you need a pill?
'Cause I've gotta pick up my kids soon.
- I think there's been a misunderstanding.
- Really?
Because you have made it very clear
that this is exactly what I need to do.
- Not like this.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Was I supposed to enjoy it?
Maybe fall in love with you?
End up on some remote island so you can live out
your twisted mid-life crisis?
- I thought you wanted...
more.
- From you? - From your life.
- Oh, and I need a man to do that?
- What do you want? - To be nothing like you.
- A little late for that. - Why?
- You hired me, remember?
- Then why don't you pull up your pants like a big boy
and do your job?
- Well.
Seems I read this all wrong.
I'll fulfill our contract when I get back.
- Thank you.
- Hide this under a real rock.
[soft dramatic music]
♪
[door clicks open]
[door clicks shut]
♪
[cell phone buzzes]
- 'Sup, Hill? - 'Sup, Hill?
- Hey, can you grab me some of that lemon pepper
on your way home?
- Mmm, might be a little late tonight, baby.
- Aren't you lunch shift today?
- Yeah, boss got me doing some extra.
- Okay. Should I do Cajun?
- That sounds good.
- All right, I'll throw your plate in the oven.
- Hug those animals for me.
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, just in the middle of something.
- All right, boo.
- Okay, see you later, baby.
- What's for dinner?
- [sighs] Chicken.
- Nice.
[dog barks distantly]
This won't take long.
- So what's this cat look like, man?
- He's a little bitch. - He alone?
- Nah, he lives with his brother.
- And what's he look like? - Big bitch.
- [sighs]
What if they don't give me the money?
- Don't come out till they do.
- [sighs]
I got a family, man.
- Should've thought about that before you messed with mine.
- Car on or off?
- Put on my Yacht Rock playlist.
[beeps]
[mellow rock/pop]
♪
- ♪ Girl, girl, you're so hard on me ♪
♪ Girl, girl, you're so hard on me ♪
♪ Girl, girl, when you talk to me ♪
♪
♪ You tell me lies and you set me free ♪
♪
♪ Turned my home into your castle ♪
♪
♪ Oh oh oh
- I miss Daddy. - Me too.
- Does he miss us?
- Always.
- Why won't he call us back?
- Dad is not at a conference.
- Where is he?
♪
- Hi! - Hi!
- I love your pigtails! Did you do them yourself?
- No, Mommy did them.
- Is there a fence, and if you touch it, will it zap you?
♪
- What's it like in there? - Are they nice?
- I've made some pretty good friends.
I get my own room.
- Do you get ice cream when you're done?
- As much ice cream as you could ever possibly eat.
- ♪ Girl, girl, you're so hard on me ♪
♪
♪ Girl, girl, you're so hard on me ♪
♪ Girl, girl, when you talk to me ♪
♪ You tell me lies and you set me free ♪
♪
♪ Take me by the hand
♪
♪ Then try to understand
♪
♪ You can't make it alone
♪ No no
♪ You can't make it alone
♪ Oh oh oh
.
- ♪ Come to the dark with your fate ♪
♪
♪ All at once, you're in another place ♪
♪
♪ You can't make it alone
♪ No no
♪ You can't make it alone
♪ No no
♪ You can't make it alone