1 00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:07,203 All right, sit down, everybody. 2 00:00:07,228 --> 00:00:09,119 Start to shut up. I... 3 00:00:23,429 --> 00:00:25,629 A little history lesson for you. 4 00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:28,532 Thousands and thousands of people have died 5 00:00:28,534 --> 00:00:29,967 trying to climb Mount Everest, 6 00:00:29,969 --> 00:00:32,370 but I refuse to give my life to that bitch. 7 00:00:32,372 --> 00:00:34,372 - Hmm. - Oh, no! 8 00:00:34,374 --> 00:00:36,031 Did I swear again? 9 00:00:36,056 --> 00:00:38,670 Sometimes your only friend is the howling of the wind. 10 00:00:38,695 --> 00:00:39,910 Is that Greg Miller? 11 00:00:39,912 --> 00:00:41,379 You actually liking this? 12 00:00:41,381 --> 00:00:43,280 Yas, queen. Get right. 13 00:00:43,282 --> 00:00:44,982 He had his frostbit toe amputated. 14 00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:46,784 Mm-hmm, on the side of a dang mountain. 15 00:00:46,786 --> 00:00:49,285 With a steak knife. Get right, queen. 16 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:50,599 What? 17 00:00:50,624 --> 00:00:53,685 Anyway, my buddy Iceman, he hands me my severed toe. 18 00:00:53,842 --> 00:00:55,246 It's dripping with blood. 19 00:00:55,271 --> 00:00:56,794 And I... I whisper to her. 20 00:00:56,796 --> 00:00:59,830 I say, "One day, you and me, girl, 21 00:00:59,832 --> 00:01:01,989 we are gonna climb to the summit." 22 00:01:02,014 --> 00:01:03,029 And guess what, folks? 23 00:01:03,054 --> 00:01:05,713 Three years later, that's exactly what we did! 24 00:01:07,673 --> 00:01:10,996 Now, I've got a special guest here I wanna introduce you to. 25 00:01:11,778 --> 00:01:12,778 Oh! 26 00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:16,976 Guess what's in here? My big toe. 27 00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:18,015 Here she is. 28 00:01:18,318 --> 00:01:20,218 This toe means everything to me. 29 00:01:20,243 --> 00:01:21,609 Weird. 30 00:01:21,634 --> 00:01:24,524 It reminds me that nothing's gonna stop my ass. 31 00:01:25,095 --> 00:01:26,570 Whitlock, you wanna see this toe? 32 00:01:26,595 --> 00:01:27,598 No. 33 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,333 Huh? 34 00:01:29,335 --> 00:01:31,235 I'm afraid you're gonna have to earn it. 35 00:01:31,545 --> 00:01:34,574 Now, Greg is gonna be here all week helping each of you 36 00:01:34,599 --> 00:01:36,043 achieve a personal goal. 37 00:01:36,068 --> 00:01:39,142 - Your own personal Everest. - Ooh. 38 00:01:39,144 --> 00:01:42,003 And so to all the losers out there, 39 00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:46,250 all the weak, bullied, people that look in the mirror 40 00:01:46,252 --> 00:01:47,612 and don't like what they see... 41 00:01:49,855 --> 00:01:52,012 I was you. We're gonna get there. 42 00:01:52,258 --> 00:01:55,643 And on Friday when you summit, I'm gonna show you the toe! 43 00:01:57,162 --> 00:02:01,698 I was defeated, but now I am "vic-toe-rious." 44 00:02:03,636 --> 00:02:06,328 Stop it, stop it, stop it! This guy sucks. 45 00:02:06,356 --> 00:02:07,589 Are you crazy? Don't block my clap. 46 00:02:07,591 --> 00:02:08,655 Yes, he's the worst. 47 00:02:11,134 --> 00:02:13,538 Yeah! 48 00:02:22,646 --> 00:02:26,145 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 49 00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,409 All right, everyone sit down and shut up. 50 00:02:28,411 --> 00:02:30,320 There will be no Everesting in this class, okay? 51 00:02:30,345 --> 00:02:32,506 And anyone who plays this dumb Neanderthal's game 52 00:02:32,531 --> 00:02:33,581 gets an immediate F. 53 00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,304 You don't think it's impressive that he climbed 54 00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:37,315 the world's tallest mountain with only nine toes? 55 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,324 Uh, you know what, Sarika? 56 00:02:38,348 --> 00:02:39,769 No, I don't think it's impressive. 57 00:02:39,794 --> 00:02:41,285 Actually, I find it a little bit easier. 58 00:02:41,309 --> 00:02:42,551 Did you guys realize that Everest isn't even 59 00:02:42,575 --> 00:02:43,683 the hardest Himalayan peak? 60 00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:46,052 That's probably why he picked it. You know, 'cause K2 is way harder. 61 00:02:46,076 --> 00:02:48,039 Actually, he did K2 last year. 62 00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:50,565 Did he? Damn it, did he, though? 63 00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,066 - Did he? - Yeah. 64 00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:53,269 And whose side are you guys on, anyway? 65 00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:54,469 M... Mine or Greg's? 66 00:02:54,471 --> 00:02:56,096 - Greg's. - Greg's? 67 00:02:56,907 --> 00:02:58,406 All right, give me the shirts, you patsies. 68 00:02:58,408 --> 00:02:59,580 They're going in the dump. 69 00:02:59,605 --> 00:03:01,806 Oh, jeez, are we out of bananas? 70 00:03:02,527 --> 00:03:03,778 Oh, sorry, Dave. 71 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,880 Ah, it's fine. 72 00:03:05,882 --> 00:03:07,882 Wait, why did you say sorry? 73 00:03:07,884 --> 00:03:09,884 Do you think a man would apologize 74 00:03:09,886 --> 00:03:11,619 for taking the last community banana? 75 00:03:11,621 --> 00:03:13,955 Women apologize way more. 76 00:03:13,957 --> 00:03:16,057 Our Everest should be the mountain of sexism 77 00:03:16,059 --> 00:03:18,213 - we face every damn day. - Yes. 78 00:03:18,238 --> 00:03:19,481 Preach. 79 00:03:19,506 --> 00:03:21,572 You know, I've got to stop saying sorry. 80 00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:23,331 That's gonna be my Everest. 81 00:03:23,356 --> 00:03:24,632 Preach it. 82 00:03:24,634 --> 00:03:27,076 I'm sick of yielding to every man whenever 83 00:03:27,101 --> 00:03:28,503 I walk down the hallway. 84 00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:31,647 No more getting stuck in between the vending machines 85 00:03:31,672 --> 00:03:33,074 waiting for the hallway to clear out. 86 00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:35,514 I never yield. 87 00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:38,474 I'm like a bull in a glass plate shop. 88 00:03:38,499 --> 00:03:41,327 - China shop? - I try to be woke. 89 00:03:42,185 --> 00:03:43,518 Racially. 90 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,905 Okay. 91 00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:48,878 - Oh, no more bananas, huh? - Oh, sorry, Ralph... 92 00:03:48,903 --> 00:03:51,521 - Do not now. - I... I ate the last... 93 00:03:51,546 --> 00:03:52,646 You better stop. 94 00:03:53,697 --> 00:03:56,197 - Take an apple, bitch. - Okay, let's... 95 00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:58,666 guys, let's remember to be respectful. 96 00:03:58,668 --> 00:04:02,103 Uh, we are not guys. We are ladies. 97 00:04:02,105 --> 00:04:04,606 I'm just gonna cut my losses here. 98 00:04:04,608 --> 00:04:06,207 You know what? Y'all inspire me. 99 00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:08,977 As strong women, we need to take care of ourselves. 100 00:04:08,979 --> 00:04:10,819 The last time I truly spoiled myself 101 00:04:10,844 --> 00:04:12,280 was at Sandals Resort, Jamaica. 102 00:04:12,282 --> 00:04:14,983 And if I cannot go there, it's got to come to me. 103 00:04:14,985 --> 00:04:16,951 That's my Everest, me. 104 00:04:16,953 --> 00:04:18,622 You know, I'm tired of the inequality 105 00:04:18,647 --> 00:04:21,122 and women making way less than men. 106 00:04:21,124 --> 00:04:24,158 Oh, I mean, I'm even more way less, 107 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,194 'cause I haven't had a raise in 15 years. 108 00:04:26,196 --> 00:04:28,630 Excuse me? That's a no. 109 00:04:28,632 --> 00:04:31,184 - You have got to demand a raise. - I do? 110 00:04:31,209 --> 00:04:33,018 - Yeah. - Yes, you go, girl. 111 00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:34,235 I'm fired up already. 112 00:04:34,237 --> 00:04:36,571 - Go get you it, baby. - Hop off that sofa. 113 00:04:36,573 --> 00:04:38,697 I gotta rock it. I gotta rock it up. 114 00:04:38,722 --> 00:04:39,874 Pop off it. 115 00:04:48,407 --> 00:04:50,862 Jack? Jack Griffin. 116 00:04:50,887 --> 00:04:52,053 It's Greg Miller. 117 00:04:52,055 --> 00:04:54,088 Uh, wow. Have we met? 118 00:04:54,090 --> 00:04:56,582 Uh, yeah. I used to call you Pimple Butt Jack. 119 00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:58,693 Remember that? "PBJ, PBJ?" 120 00:04:58,695 --> 00:05:00,722 Uh, that's... that is not my name. 121 00:05:00,747 --> 00:05:02,090 Well, I heard you blew it at Harvard 122 00:05:02,114 --> 00:05:03,434 and had to move back home. 123 00:05:03,459 --> 00:05:06,073 Meanwhile, I'm raking it in convincing these losers 124 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,237 that they're winners. 125 00:05:07,262 --> 00:05:11,060 Joke is, they are losers, just like you, Pimple Butt. 126 00:05:11,085 --> 00:05:12,106 Yeah. 127 00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:13,774 You know, it's funny, you kinda sound like an idiot 128 00:05:13,798 --> 00:05:15,321 right now 'cause I don't have pimples on my butt. 129 00:05:15,345 --> 00:05:17,115 That was a lie you made up in tenth grade. 130 00:05:17,140 --> 00:05:19,373 Oh, so what do you want to do, prove it to me by showing me your butt? 131 00:05:19,397 --> 00:05:20,419 I don't think so. 132 00:05:20,444 --> 00:05:21,445 I don't wanna show you my butt. 133 00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:23,117 I'm gonna go wash up somewhere else. 134 00:05:23,119 --> 00:05:24,352 - I didn't say that. - That's not my scene. 135 00:05:24,354 --> 00:05:25,547 - What are you... - Bye-bye. 136 00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:41,869 You know, if you tell anybody about this... 137 00:05:41,871 --> 00:05:43,805 I know, I get an F. 138 00:05:43,807 --> 00:05:45,073 No, no, no, no. 139 00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:48,109 You get a murder. 140 00:05:56,254 --> 00:05:57,370 You can do this. 141 00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:10,707 Wh... Whoa, excuse me. 142 00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:12,576 I... I'm actually... I'm... I... 143 00:06:14,246 --> 00:06:15,779 Yeah, okay. 144 00:06:15,781 --> 00:06:16,947 Right. 145 00:06:16,949 --> 00:06:18,115 Excuse me. 146 00:06:18,708 --> 00:06:21,631 Can I just... can I... can you... I had... my... 147 00:06:22,644 --> 00:06:24,621 You know what? This actually works out. 148 00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,793 I'm worried about Mr. Griffin. 149 00:06:29,795 --> 00:06:31,655 Why? He's always late. 150 00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,088 Guys, Mr. Griffin is hiding from his bully. 151 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:38,752 That Everest dude called him Pimple Butt 152 00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:39,870 when they went to Whitlock. 153 00:06:39,895 --> 00:06:41,861 He almost made Mr. Griffin cry in the bathroom, 154 00:06:41,886 --> 00:06:43,240 - and I felt so bad... - Damn it! 155 00:06:43,242 --> 00:06:45,308 Vic... Victor, what did I say, man? 156 00:06:46,461 --> 00:06:47,919 Your rage makes more sense now. 157 00:06:47,944 --> 00:06:48,944 Mm-hmm. 158 00:06:48,969 --> 00:06:51,314 - You were a nerd too. - No, stop, okay? 159 00:06:51,316 --> 00:06:53,137 Everybody just chill out. I wasn't bullied. 160 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,340 I wasn't a nerd. 161 00:06:54,365 --> 00:06:55,986 This isn't one of those things where you guys find out, 162 00:06:55,988 --> 00:06:57,821 "Oh, Mr. Griffin's just like me." 163 00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:59,456 Lots of us are in denial too. 164 00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:00,629 Guys, stop, okay? 165 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,302 I hate Greg because he's a liar. 166 00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:03,560 It's as simple as that, okay? 167 00:07:03,585 --> 00:07:05,662 He... he constantly spread lies in high school. 168 00:07:05,664 --> 00:07:08,169 - About your pimple butt? - No, not about my pimple butt. 169 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:10,834 I don't have a p... guys, there's no pimples on my butt. 170 00:07:10,836 --> 00:07:12,302 There never were. 171 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:13,949 Look, the guy's a liar. 172 00:07:13,974 --> 00:07:15,672 He was lying then, and I bet you he's lying now. 173 00:07:15,674 --> 00:07:17,274 I bet you he didn't even climb Everest. 174 00:07:17,276 --> 00:07:19,409 And you know what? I'm gonna prove it. 175 00:07:19,411 --> 00:07:22,512 We're gonna help you, Chief, because you were bullied. 176 00:07:22,514 --> 00:07:25,282 Okay, well then don't help, because I wasn't, all right? 177 00:07:25,284 --> 00:07:27,284 If you want to help, help because you hate Greg. 178 00:07:27,286 --> 00:07:30,074 What if we don't say why we're helping? 179 00:07:32,491 --> 00:07:34,325 Yeah, all right, fine. That's good enough. 180 00:07:35,427 --> 00:07:38,862 Well, I was the most popular donor there at the clinic, 181 00:07:38,864 --> 00:07:41,531 so, you know, the odds of these lovebirds 182 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:43,451 being related is very high. 183 00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:45,598 Oh, I gotta call you back. 184 00:07:45,623 --> 00:07:47,156 You can't keep stalling. 185 00:07:47,181 --> 00:07:48,749 - It's go time, girl. - Oh, no kidding. 186 00:07:48,774 --> 00:07:50,449 I gotta stop a wedding this weekend. 187 00:07:50,474 --> 00:07:52,507 No, Helen, it's time to go get that money. 188 00:07:52,644 --> 00:07:54,010 - Let's go! - Oh, not today. 189 00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:56,446 No, it's not a good time. No, no. 190 00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,715 - Cut the crap, Durb. - What... what crap? 191 00:07:58,717 --> 00:08:00,550 You need to give Helen a raise. 192 00:08:00,552 --> 00:08:03,780 Oh, yes, ab... absolutely. I would love to. 193 00:08:03,805 --> 00:08:04,930 Oh. 194 00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:07,548 Well, now, see, this is what happens when strong women 195 00:08:07,573 --> 00:08:10,537 - come together. - Yes, we cannot be stopped. 196 00:08:10,562 --> 00:08:12,329 - Let's go! - Oh. 197 00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:13,630 Mm. 198 00:08:16,635 --> 00:08:18,835 I'd apologize, but that was not my fault. 199 00:08:18,837 --> 00:08:20,551 That's was the dab's fault, Durb. 200 00:08:20,576 --> 00:08:22,807 - You gotta stop dabbing. - But it's who I am. 201 00:08:22,832 --> 00:08:24,007 It's aggressive. 202 00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:25,703 You were woman, and we heard you roar. 203 00:08:26,783 --> 00:08:28,011 I don't want a raise. 204 00:08:28,013 --> 00:08:30,572 The school needs the money much more than I do. 205 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,031 I just got all jacked up because everyone was being 206 00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:36,686 all empowering and it was fun, that's all, so disregard. 207 00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,922 I put the money aside every year. 208 00:08:38,924 --> 00:08:40,390 I want you to get this raise. 209 00:08:40,415 --> 00:08:43,283 Th... the students want you to get this raise. 210 00:08:43,395 --> 00:08:45,329 My mother wants you to get this raise. 211 00:08:45,354 --> 00:08:47,321 Tell Debbie to mind her own business. 212 00:08:47,346 --> 00:08:49,847 Okay, well, Debbie Durbin doesn't mind her own business, 213 00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:51,668 and neither does her son Dennis Durbin, 214 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,037 and neither does Dennis' brother Ralph. 215 00:08:54,039 --> 00:08:57,874 So, Helen, take the GD raise. 216 00:08:58,921 --> 00:09:01,659 Okay, I'll take the raise... 217 00:09:02,447 --> 00:09:04,073 when I'm dead and stupid! 218 00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:15,458 I've got him. I have got him. 219 00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:17,460 So why don't you guys go ahead and prepare to lift me 220 00:09:17,462 --> 00:09:20,063 on your bony little shoulders in triumph? 221 00:09:20,065 --> 00:09:24,467 This is a manifest that I received after a very long, 222 00:09:24,469 --> 00:09:26,851 very, very flirty conversation with Ditya 223 00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:28,470 at the, uh, Nepalese embassy, 224 00:09:28,495 --> 00:09:30,073 and this shows every single person 225 00:09:30,075 --> 00:09:31,741 who climbed Everest in 2015. 226 00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,742 That's the year that Greg supposedly summited. 227 00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:36,045 And guess what, my little cornichons? 228 00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:37,864 He's not on the list. 229 00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:40,618 He's a liar. 230 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,654 You guys are staring at me. What's going on? 231 00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:46,456 So we got all the yearbooks Greg was in, 232 00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,460 and you were right. He's a liar. 233 00:09:48,485 --> 00:09:51,171 He wasn't weak. He actually took really good care of himself. 234 00:09:51,196 --> 00:09:52,289 Yep, he's a liar. 235 00:09:52,314 --> 00:09:54,397 You also said you weren't a nerd, 236 00:09:54,399 --> 00:09:58,468 and there's a lot of evidence to the contrary. 237 00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:01,905 Uh, we saw that you were in band and that you played oboe. 238 00:10:01,907 --> 00:10:04,174 - Uh-huh. - I play oboe. 239 00:10:04,707 --> 00:10:06,176 We're o-bros. 240 00:10:06,178 --> 00:10:08,511 Also, we saw that your senior quote was, 241 00:10:08,513 --> 00:10:10,513 "All around the world, statues crumble for me." 242 00:10:10,515 --> 00:10:12,916 We cross-referenced it because we thought it was 243 00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:15,785 a quote from Julius Caesar. But it's not. 244 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,954 It's from a band called Sugar Ray. 245 00:10:18,316 --> 00:10:21,996 And, Mr. Griffin, they're not great. 246 00:10:22,527 --> 00:10:24,027 Yeah, no, I know, okay? 247 00:10:24,029 --> 00:10:26,467 But at the time, there was this California sound. 248 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:27,508 It was sweeping the na... 249 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:29,483 I don't have to explain myself to you two. 250 00:10:29,508 --> 00:10:31,289 The point is, I've got him. 251 00:10:32,137 --> 00:10:34,003 And over the course of the next half hour, 252 00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:35,705 I'm gonna weave a web around him 253 00:10:35,707 --> 00:10:37,838 waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. 254 00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:41,603 Toy with my prey. 255 00:10:41,628 --> 00:10:42,634 Howdy, hikers. 256 00:10:42,659 --> 00:10:43,955 I've got you! I've got you! 257 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:44,987 I've got him! He's a liar! 258 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,444 You're a liar, and I got ya! 259 00:10:48,639 --> 00:10:50,944 Read it and weep, sucker. 260 00:10:51,313 --> 00:10:53,629 It seems that no one named Greg Miller 261 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,779 climbed Everest in 2015. 262 00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:02,066 Oh, PBJ. 263 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,099 You wanna know the truth? 264 00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:09,095 After I lost my toe in my first attempt to summit, 265 00:11:09,097 --> 00:11:12,257 I came home to months of grueling physical therapy. 266 00:11:12,282 --> 00:11:14,449 For a toe? Come on, man. 267 00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:19,506 My beautiful, gorgeous wife stood by my wobbly side 268 00:11:19,508 --> 00:11:21,664 as I recovered, and out of that darkness, 269 00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:25,094 I decided to legally change my last name to hers, 270 00:11:25,761 --> 00:11:28,429 Bouvier, so let me ask you, 271 00:11:28,817 --> 00:11:33,820 did a Greg Bouvier climb Mount Everest in 2015? 272 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,670 You take a look. 273 00:11:39,294 --> 00:11:41,361 - It checks out. - Yeah, I bet it does. 274 00:11:41,363 --> 00:11:43,305 You know, those things can easily be forged. 275 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:46,232 And I... I bet you... I bet you he never even lost a toe. 276 00:11:46,234 --> 00:11:47,301 Wow. 277 00:11:47,703 --> 00:11:49,714 I really didn't wanna do this but, uh, 278 00:11:50,064 --> 00:11:51,730 take a look. 279 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,374 That's us approaching the Lhotse wall, 280 00:11:54,376 --> 00:11:55,675 bottom of Everest. 281 00:11:55,677 --> 00:11:57,910 And that is Iceman with the knife. 282 00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:03,191 And that's him screaming as the knife cuts through the bone. 283 00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:08,016 Now, I never screamed. I didn't cry. 284 00:12:08,557 --> 00:12:11,157 I sure as hell didn't lie about my toe. 285 00:12:12,694 --> 00:12:15,228 Jackie, baby. 286 00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:17,831 You need professional help, my boy. 287 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,267 And I'm the one that's gonna give it to you. 288 00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:23,007 I just talked Durbin into hiring me 289 00:12:23,032 --> 00:12:25,605 for a three-day mandatory employee seminar. 290 00:12:25,607 --> 00:12:27,266 That's the big bucks, boy. 291 00:12:28,407 --> 00:12:31,373 Ooh, I cannot wait to get my hands on you, 292 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,414 my little pimple butt. 293 00:12:36,618 --> 00:12:38,785 If you won the lottery or "Price is Right" 294 00:12:38,787 --> 00:12:41,037 or "Wheel of Fortune," isn't there a prize 295 00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:42,421 you'd wanna win? 296 00:12:42,446 --> 00:12:45,402 I mean, there was a time I was very jealous of a woman 297 00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:48,012 who won an impact-resistant self-collapsing 298 00:12:48,037 --> 00:12:50,995 DuraGuard protected carry-on collection from Visionair. 299 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,781 Oh, Mama, that was traveling in style. 300 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:54,806 That was sexy. 301 00:12:54,831 --> 00:12:58,627 Helen, you are worth more than some luggage, okay? 302 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,653 So please take this check. 303 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,546 Hmm? 304 00:13:27,184 --> 00:13:29,129 This Sloppy Joe is gross. 305 00:13:29,154 --> 00:13:30,187 LeBron! 306 00:13:34,242 --> 00:13:36,720 Uh, hello. 307 00:13:37,414 --> 00:13:38,555 Hi, Dave. 308 00:13:38,929 --> 00:13:40,265 Dang it, Mary. 309 00:13:40,615 --> 00:13:43,216 I gotta go straight to my son's christening after work. 310 00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:45,956 Stay strong. 311 00:13:47,989 --> 00:13:50,000 - Not my problem. - Oh. 312 00:13:50,492 --> 00:13:52,374 Wow. Okay. 313 00:13:53,829 --> 00:13:55,328 Have a good day, Mary. 314 00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:59,709 That sucked. I'm shook. 315 00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:03,260 Climbing a mountain's hard, girl, but gotta persevere. 316 00:14:06,274 --> 00:14:08,475 Mmm, hits me right in my teeth. 317 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,800 ♪ Bill collector called today ♪ 318 00:14:35,237 --> 00:14:36,336 ♪ Shove ♪ 319 00:14:48,016 --> 00:14:49,783 ♪ Get out of my... ♪ 320 00:14:52,854 --> 00:14:55,089 Hey. Ralph. 321 00:14:56,164 --> 00:14:57,202 You okay, man? 322 00:14:58,026 --> 00:15:00,260 I miss the hummingbirds in winter, Jack. 323 00:15:00,843 --> 00:15:01,928 O... okay. 324 00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:05,732 Uh, listen, Greg Miller is not who he says he is. 325 00:15:05,734 --> 00:15:06,900 This is a bad guy. 326 00:15:06,902 --> 00:15:08,518 I... I disagree, Jack. 327 00:15:08,904 --> 00:15:11,771 We went out for Shock Tops last night. 328 00:15:11,773 --> 00:15:13,540 I... I'd never heard of this beer. 329 00:15:13,542 --> 00:15:17,377 Have you seen their logo? It's an orange with a Mohawk. 330 00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:20,121 I looked him up. His name is Wedgehead. 331 00:15:20,146 --> 00:15:22,105 Look, I've known Greg for 20 years, okay? 332 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,416 He is a liar. 333 00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:26,519 He showed me the toe last night. 334 00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:28,376 He was very vulnerable. 335 00:15:28,401 --> 00:15:31,056 I think if you saw it, you would understand him on a deeper level. 336 00:15:31,595 --> 00:15:34,478 Maybe you would join us for Shock Tops. 337 00:15:34,503 --> 00:15:36,283 You know what? Thanks for nothing. 338 00:15:36,447 --> 00:15:37,597 I'll get someone else to help. 339 00:15:37,599 --> 00:15:39,465 And, by the way, just so you know, 340 00:15:39,816 --> 00:15:41,448 hummingbirds don't migrate in the winter. 341 00:15:41,995 --> 00:15:43,089 They just die. 342 00:15:48,443 --> 00:15:52,478 Mr. Bouvier, we just wanna apologize for yesterday. 343 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,346 Well, I'm running late for my closing assembly. 344 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,904 Can you help me with my Everest? 345 00:15:55,929 --> 00:15:57,530 My dad always wanted me to be good at tennis, 346 00:15:57,554 --> 00:16:00,859 but I'm afraid of the balls. Please? 347 00:16:01,488 --> 00:16:02,987 I don't wanna be weak anymore. 348 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:04,879 So you guys finally came around. 349 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,427 All right, climber, get your ass to the trailhead. 350 00:16:07,429 --> 00:16:10,034 Let's do this. What you got? 351 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,566 That is badass. All right, let her rip. 352 00:16:13,591 --> 00:16:15,468 Whoa, whoa, whoa, where did you guys get that? 353 00:16:17,072 --> 00:16:19,572 Come on, stay with it! Whoo! 354 00:16:19,574 --> 00:16:20,840 - Ow! - Come on, take it! 355 00:16:20,842 --> 00:16:22,323 What are you doing? Come on, Iceman. 356 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,943 You got this. 357 00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:28,648 25,000 feet. 27,000 feet. 358 00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:30,984 29,000 feet. You did it! 359 00:16:30,986 --> 00:16:32,652 That's the summit, bro! 360 00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,799 Nice work, man. I was wrong about you. 361 00:16:35,824 --> 00:16:37,523 Oh, my gosh. That was awesome. 362 00:16:37,525 --> 00:16:41,073 - Oh, that was so cool. - That is the system in action. 363 00:16:41,098 --> 00:16:42,896 Back-stabbing traitors. 364 00:16:47,434 --> 00:16:50,451 Wow. Wow. 365 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,439 You know, and to think I was just starting to like you guys, 366 00:16:53,464 --> 00:16:55,363 and here you are siding with a bully, 367 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,159 the guy who used to tell everybody 368 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,853 that I was still breastfeeding on my mom, 369 00:16:59,081 --> 00:17:03,704 my hardworking single mother's boobies. 370 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,039 Yeah, he used to... he used to take little ketchup packets 371 00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:08,143 and he would put a little tear in it, 372 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:10,268 put it on my chair so that when I sat down, it exploded, 373 00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:12,411 and he'd be like, "Hey, Jack just had his period. 374 00:17:12,436 --> 00:17:13,450 Check it out, everybody." 375 00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:15,275 And he'd call me Period Boy Jack, 376 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,856 yeah, one of two PBJ nicknames. 377 00:17:18,628 --> 00:17:19,928 That's who you just sided with. 378 00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:25,946 You guys suck. 379 00:17:25,971 --> 00:17:28,972 Boss, the tennis balls were just a distraction so that 380 00:17:28,997 --> 00:17:30,295 we could grab this. 381 00:17:31,158 --> 00:17:32,490 We got the toe. 382 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,147 Oh. 383 00:17:35,202 --> 00:17:37,680 My babies. 384 00:17:37,705 --> 00:17:39,705 My beautiful, sweet babies. 385 00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:41,307 He's gonna freak out when he realizes that 386 00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:42,383 this toe is missing. 387 00:17:42,408 --> 00:17:43,542 We gotta make it to that assembly. 388 00:17:43,544 --> 00:17:45,088 Come on, let's go. I don't wanna miss this. 389 00:17:45,112 --> 00:17:46,432 This is really gross. 390 00:17:47,782 --> 00:17:49,181 Come on. 391 00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:51,574 I'm no stranger to adventure myself. 392 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,621 When I was a gnat's butt older than you, 393 00:17:54,646 --> 00:17:57,815 I went on a class-five rapids expedition 394 00:17:57,839 --> 00:18:00,272 through the Appalachians with my friend Gale. 395 00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:03,278 I had been trying to convince her to do a gal's trip 396 00:18:03,303 --> 00:18:04,343 - in the wilderness... - Hey, Greg. 397 00:18:04,345 --> 00:18:05,684 Hey, man, um, listen. 398 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,465 I just wanted to apologize, uh, 399 00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:09,615 about what happened the other day. I'm... I'm sorry. 400 00:18:09,617 --> 00:18:12,251 Oh, okay, well, I wanted to tell you something too. 401 00:18:12,253 --> 00:18:14,115 I... I heard you lost your mom. 402 00:18:14,854 --> 00:18:16,021 Man, I'm sorry. 403 00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:17,223 Thank you. 404 00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:18,491 Bet you're starving. 405 00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:22,228 - Little baby needs his milk. - Right. 406 00:18:24,399 --> 00:18:26,432 Now I gotta go inspire these losers, so, uh, 407 00:18:26,434 --> 00:18:28,601 I forgive you. We're good. 408 00:18:28,603 --> 00:18:29,794 Good. 409 00:18:30,271 --> 00:18:33,138 And then the natives, they served me the stew. 410 00:18:33,908 --> 00:18:36,714 And while I was eating... 'cause I was hungry... 411 00:18:37,412 --> 00:18:41,313 I kept asking, "Did you find my friend Gale in the wreckage?" 412 00:18:41,315 --> 00:18:43,582 And suddenly I felt a bone in my mouth. 413 00:18:43,584 --> 00:18:45,118 And I understood. 414 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,621 I had eaten my best friend. 415 00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:55,327 Well, without further ado, let's welcome back Greg Miller. 416 00:18:57,877 --> 00:18:59,477 What's going on, Whitlock? 417 00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:02,902 Boy, we had some great summits this week, didn't we? 418 00:19:02,904 --> 00:19:05,271 I'm so proud of you guys. Show us the toe! 419 00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:07,173 Oh, you wanna jump to it, huh? 420 00:19:07,175 --> 00:19:08,882 I think you deserve it. 421 00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:11,131 - Yeah. - Let's do this thing. 422 00:19:11,979 --> 00:19:14,613 She might be a little shy. Let's see how it goes. 423 00:19:14,615 --> 00:19:15,911 You wanna come out and say hi? 424 00:19:18,275 --> 00:19:21,608 This little piggy went to Whitlo... 425 00:19:23,191 --> 00:19:24,657 My t... where's my toe? 426 00:19:24,659 --> 00:19:25,721 What the hell? 427 00:19:25,746 --> 00:19:27,525 - Somebody stole my toe! - No, no, no, hey. 428 00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:28,905 I just saw it ten minutes ago. 429 00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:31,352 Whitlockians are not thieves. 430 00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:34,366 I'm gonna give everyone a countdown from five 431 00:19:34,368 --> 00:19:36,537 to return the toe, okay? Counting down. 432 00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:39,818 Five, four... it's okay. Three... 433 00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:42,508 - It's not okay. - Two, one. 434 00:19:43,311 --> 00:19:45,377 Okay, another five starting now. 435 00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:48,681 - Five, four... - You dumb inbred dog turds! 436 00:19:48,683 --> 00:19:50,316 You're trying to rattle me? 437 00:19:50,318 --> 00:19:52,284 I climbed Everest, okay? 438 00:19:52,286 --> 00:19:53,953 You think you're better than that, bitch? 439 00:19:53,955 --> 00:19:55,773 Your Everests were the worst I've ever heard. 440 00:19:55,798 --> 00:19:57,929 You got "do more footbaths" over here. 441 00:19:57,954 --> 00:19:59,079 What the hell is that? 442 00:19:59,104 --> 00:20:01,337 And your quarterback has a broken leg. 443 00:20:01,362 --> 00:20:03,362 Okay, I don't know about you, but I like quarterbacks 444 00:20:03,364 --> 00:20:07,032 who can actually run, not walk around on crutches. 445 00:20:11,739 --> 00:20:13,445 My toe! My toe! 446 00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:16,542 Don't let the door hit you! 447 00:20:26,053 --> 00:20:28,988 You broke a bad, bad man today, my little cherubs. 448 00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:31,140 We had to. He was your bully, boss. 449 00:20:31,165 --> 00:20:32,558 Mr. G, you know what? 450 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,493 I feel one of our hugs coming on. 451 00:20:38,566 --> 00:20:40,266 Oh, what... what are you guys doing there? 452 00:20:40,268 --> 00:20:41,701 Come on, this is just a me-and-Anthony thing. 453 00:20:41,725 --> 00:20:43,402 Come on, guys. 454 00:20:43,404 --> 00:20:45,554 Ah, a lot of teenage smells happening. 455 00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:52,496 Helen Henry Demarcus, come on down. 456 00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:56,922 You've won the impact-resistant self-collapsing 457 00:20:56,947 --> 00:21:00,686 DuraGuard-protected carry-on collection from Visionair! 458 00:21:02,115 --> 00:21:05,257 Oh, but you can't touch unless you agree to take 459 00:21:05,259 --> 00:21:07,129 the luggage and a raise. 460 00:21:07,154 --> 00:21:10,273 Oh, can I just have those three beautiful little bags? 461 00:21:10,298 --> 00:21:11,303 Nope. 462 00:21:12,033 --> 00:21:14,233 - Okay, I agree. - Have at 'em. 463 00:21:14,235 --> 00:21:16,302 Yes! 464 00:21:16,304 --> 00:21:18,754 Oh, they're beautiful. I wanna hug them so much. 465 00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:19,812 Oh! 466 00:21:19,836 --> 00:21:22,336 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -