1 00:00:05,021 --> 00:00:07,621 This programme contains very strong language 2 00:00:07,661 --> 00:00:09,661 from the outset and throughout. 3 00:00:15,021 --> 00:00:16,981 ♪Beautiful Noise 4 00:00:17,021 --> 00:00:19,021 ♪ What a beautiful noise 5 00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:22,861 ♪ Coming up from the street 6 00:00:24,661 --> 00:00:26,661 ♪ Got a beautiful sound 7 00:00:28,381 --> 00:00:30,381 ♪ It's got a beautiful beat 8 00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:34,381 ♪ It's a beautiful noise 9 00:00:35,941 --> 00:00:37,941 ♪ Going on everywhere 10 00:00:39,821 --> 00:00:43,301 ♪ Like the clickety-clack of a train on a track 11 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,501 ♪ It's got rhythm to spare 12 00:00:47,621 --> 00:00:49,621 ♪ It's a beautiful noise 13 00:00:50,981 --> 00:00:52,981 ♪ It's a sound that I love 14 00:00:54,861 --> 00:00:56,861 ♪ And it fits me as well 15 00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,501 ♪ As a hand in a glove 16 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,101 ♪ Yes, it does 17 00:01:03,141 --> 00:01:05,101 ♪ Yes, it does... ♪ 18 00:01:05,221 --> 00:01:07,221 Ah. Afternoon, Bill. 19 00:01:07,621 --> 00:01:11,621 Mr Housego! What thrills await our drooling public? 20 00:01:12,221 --> 00:01:15,101 Actually, save it. My liver's having a beer party. 21 00:01:16,221 --> 00:01:17,741 New girl? 22 00:01:17,781 --> 00:01:19,821 Christine? No. 23 00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:21,541 Hm. They all merge after a while. 24 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,861 Well, I'm sure she feels the same about us. 25 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:26,701 Oh, no, do you think so? Well, not you, obviously. 26 00:01:26,741 --> 00:01:28,901 The Frank Sinatra of TV journalism. 27 00:01:28,941 --> 00:01:30,621 Who says that? 28 00:01:30,661 --> 00:01:33,421 No, just... Me. Now. 29 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,701 Ah. 30 00:01:35,741 --> 00:01:38,541 Erm... Mr Grundy, this evening's line-up. 31 00:01:38,581 --> 00:01:40,901 The main item is Queen. The Queen?! 32 00:01:42,421 --> 00:01:44,181 No, Queen, the pop group. 33 00:01:44,221 --> 00:01:47,581 Ah! Hey, did I tell you about the time I interviewed Roy Orbison? 34 00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:50,501 -Yes, you did. -Because of his dark glasses, I thought he was blind 35 00:01:50,541 --> 00:01:52,101 so I offered to show him to the gents 36 00:01:52,141 --> 00:01:54,541 and I'm standing behind him and he says, 37 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,341 "Mr Grundy, either you think I'm blind 38 00:01:57,381 --> 00:01:59,461 or I'm gonna have to disappoint you." 39 00:02:00,781 --> 00:02:01,821 Ha-ha-ha! 40 00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:08,061 So, we're leading the show with a consultation document on the regeneration of Docklands. 41 00:02:08,101 --> 00:02:10,661 Ah, and in years to come, they'll all say, "Where were you 42 00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:14,981 when they unveiled the consultation document on the regeneration of Docklands?" 43 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:16,021 Then - 44 00:02:16,061 --> 00:02:19,181 Thanks, Christine. Let's let Bill digest it in his own time. 45 00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:21,901 I doubt there's anything I can't handle, poppet! 46 00:02:30,181 --> 00:02:32,101 Yeah! 47 00:02:32,141 --> 00:02:33,941 Fucking class. 48 00:02:33,981 --> 00:02:35,581 Ponce. Psycho. 49 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:37,541 Eh? Steve, Steve. 50 00:02:37,581 --> 00:02:39,781 Steve, my bass! Fucking hell, Steve! 51 00:02:39,821 --> 00:02:41,701 Can we rehearse? 52 00:02:41,741 --> 00:02:44,141 As long as we all respect the bassist for a change. 53 00:02:44,181 --> 00:02:45,421 Dick. 54 00:02:45,461 --> 00:02:47,461 It's wet now! 55 00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:50,781 I'll be electrocuted. I fucking hope so. 56 00:02:54,781 --> 00:02:56,221 Why do you do that? 57 00:02:56,261 --> 00:02:57,781 I've got a sinus condition. 58 00:02:58,581 --> 00:03:00,581 What song are we doing? 59 00:03:01,021 --> 00:03:03,021 ♪Pretty Vacant 60 00:03:19,061 --> 00:03:20,341 ♪ There's no point in asking 61 00:03:20,381 --> 00:03:22,101 ♪ You'll get no reply 62 00:03:22,141 --> 00:03:25,541 ♪ Oh, just remember, don't decide... ♪ 63 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,981 Fuck, that hurts. 64 00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:30,021 Can you see it? Crouching at the back like an evil dog? 65 00:03:32,621 --> 00:03:34,621 My molars are nonsensically large. 66 00:03:34,661 --> 00:03:36,741 I mean, all my teeth are. And my cock. 67 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,181 So when it hurts, it's quite spectacular. 68 00:03:39,821 --> 00:03:41,821 Am I swollen, darlings? 69 00:03:42,821 --> 00:03:44,821 No, up here. 70 00:03:45,621 --> 00:03:47,941 I can't possibly go on television with this visage. 71 00:03:47,981 --> 00:03:49,981 Would one of you dears call in sick? 72 00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:54,141 And someone had better tell Brian before he starts doing his hair. 73 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:03,941 They really need to speed those things up. 74 00:04:05,101 --> 00:04:08,501 Erm... Eric Hall rang from EMI. Queen are cancelling. 75 00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:10,101 Freddy Mercury's got a toothache. 76 00:04:10,141 --> 00:04:13,061 Well, he is 80% teeth, poor sod. 77 00:04:14,141 --> 00:04:16,061 Does Eric know we're on in two hours? 78 00:04:16,101 --> 00:04:18,341 He's offering the group The Sex Pistols instead. 79 00:04:18,381 --> 00:04:20,621 Who are they? They're a punk band. 80 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,181 They're really angry. I wouldn't book them. 81 00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:26,501 Bill? Hm? 82 00:04:26,541 --> 00:04:28,141 Queen are cancelling. 83 00:04:28,181 --> 00:04:30,181 The group. Not the monarch. 84 00:04:30,221 --> 00:04:32,781 They're offering us a punk band. 85 00:04:32,821 --> 00:04:34,821 OK. 86 00:04:36,621 --> 00:04:38,821 If they can be here within 90 minutes, fine by us. 87 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:42,501 Are you sure? If anyone can handle them, Bill can. 88 00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,701 I fucking hate 'em. 89 00:04:54,741 --> 00:04:57,341 What's wrong with them? Loads. And talentless cunts. 90 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,461 What, you don't even like Hey Jude? 91 00:04:59,501 --> 00:05:01,501 No. Irrelevant. Next. 92 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:06,581 Pretentious dogshit. What's wrong with Hey... Jeff? 93 00:05:06,621 --> 00:05:08,541 We've already got a John and a Paul. 94 00:05:08,581 --> 00:05:10,181 Steve, change your name to George. 95 00:05:16,981 --> 00:05:19,101 You're going on the telly in a couple of hours. 96 00:05:19,141 --> 00:05:21,741 Are we, fuck. They want you all on Thames TV. 97 00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:22,861 Not singing, though. 98 00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:25,701 Johnny, I know you're not one for talking but force yourself. 99 00:05:25,741 --> 00:05:27,461 Why would we want to do that? 100 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,861 Your mum'll like it. OK, plug the single and the tour 101 00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:33,181 and our new bondage range if there's time. 102 00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:34,621 EMI are sending a big limo. 103 00:05:34,661 --> 00:05:37,141 Do we look like ABBA on a night out? 104 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:40,461 -No. -There you go, then. It's not our style. 105 00:05:41,501 --> 00:05:43,061 I don't do adverts. 106 00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:45,981 Do it or I'll stop your wages. 107 00:05:59,781 --> 00:06:03,461 ..and presenting live TV is like trying to stand on a charging camel 108 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:06,421 with someone shouting in your ear while you write a sonnet. 109 00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:08,461 Yes, Bill. 110 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,861 But I've written some shit-hot sonnets in my time. 111 00:06:12,141 --> 00:06:15,381 And if it wasn't me out there, it would be some floppy-haired youth 112 00:06:15,421 --> 00:06:17,941 who thinks it's clever to be stupid. It's not. 113 00:06:19,221 --> 00:06:22,421 Not if a dwindling veneer of civilisation is all we have. 114 00:06:24,781 --> 00:06:28,381 You know, if you wanted to park yourself on my lap, you don't have to ask. 115 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,421 Yes, Bill. 116 00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:32,461 ♪No Regrets 117 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,021 ♪ There's no regrets 118 00:06:41,661 --> 00:06:43,661 ♪ No tears goodbye 119 00:06:46,461 --> 00:06:48,461 ♪ I don't want you back... ♪ 120 00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:50,501 All right in the green room? 121 00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:54,661 Mm. I just wanted to warn you, the Sex Pistols might say... 122 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,541 You know... 123 00:06:58,021 --> 00:06:59,981 What? 124 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,101 Fuck. 125 00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:02,381 Why do you say that? 126 00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,741 Well, they're saying it a lot downstairs. 127 00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:07,261 Oh, well, I say it a lot off air. 128 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,621 It's Bill's favourite word. After "I'll have a large one". 129 00:07:15,621 --> 00:07:16,621 Thanks. 130 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,581 We'll be hearing from a councillor about what they're going to do 131 00:07:24,621 --> 00:07:27,421 with that white elephant, The London Docklands. 132 00:07:27,461 --> 00:07:29,541 Fascinating to see what they do there. 133 00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:33,541 We also have a musical interlude for you, in the shape of The Sex Pistols. 134 00:07:36,821 --> 00:07:39,701 Oh, no. It's Mr Sven Gali. 135 00:07:39,741 --> 00:07:42,341 What are you doing boozing? It's free. You have to. 136 00:07:42,381 --> 00:07:44,821 You're going on air in a minute. Don't drink any more - 137 00:07:46,301 --> 00:07:47,741 All right, so be it. 138 00:07:47,781 --> 00:07:50,101 That's why I brought this lot. They can talk sense. 139 00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:52,261 Bla-de-bla-de-bleugh. 140 00:07:53,461 --> 00:07:56,141 How you doing, darlin'? You all right? Lovely. 141 00:07:56,181 --> 00:07:58,701 Anyway, choose one of these to wear. From the shop. 142 00:07:58,741 --> 00:08:01,861 Maybe we need a manager who's not a shopkeeper. 143 00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:03,901 Everyone's selling something. 144 00:08:04,501 --> 00:08:06,501 That looks nice, Johnny. Try that. 145 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,181 Or not. OK. 146 00:08:10,221 --> 00:08:11,941 Tits. Always funny. 147 00:08:11,981 --> 00:08:15,021 Have you seen this? Stranglers slagging us off for being scum. 148 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,941 Well, come on. You are scum, aren't you? A bit. 149 00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:23,701 Oh, yeah, the anti-Christ anarchist can dish it out but he can't take it. 150 00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:27,141 Oi! If I weren't going to nick that TV, I'd put your head through it. 151 00:08:27,181 --> 00:08:31,181 Save your rapier-like wit for the nation's millions of viewers. 152 00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:34,741 Hello! Again! 153 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,781 Helloooo! 154 00:08:40,261 --> 00:08:42,781 Yeah, all right. Yes, I suppose I am quite... 155 00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:47,981 So, I'll be back in five minutes to take you to the studio. 156 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,061 Thanks, babe. 157 00:08:49,101 --> 00:08:53,501 Oh, what would you go for? The tits or the Cambridge rapist? 158 00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:58,101 Oh. Erm... probably...tits. 159 00:08:58,861 --> 00:09:00,861 Just to be on the safe side. 160 00:09:05,821 --> 00:09:07,821 Whoo-oo-oo! 161 00:09:09,981 --> 00:09:11,981 Mike. 162 00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,061 Bloody hell. 163 00:09:21,821 --> 00:09:22,861 Mind you, nice jumper. 164 00:09:24,861 --> 00:09:27,581 They're punk rockers. The new craze, they tell me. 165 00:09:27,621 --> 00:09:30,741 Their heroes, not the nice -clean Rolling Stones. -Action! 166 00:09:30,781 --> 00:09:32,701 You see? They're as drunk as I am. 167 00:09:32,741 --> 00:09:35,461 They are clean by comparison. 168 00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:37,341 They're a group called The Sex Pistols. 169 00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:40,781 Here we go. I'm surrounded now by all of them. 170 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,781 Hold onto your hats. 171 00:09:51,901 --> 00:09:56,421 I am told that that group have received £40,000 172 00:09:56,461 --> 00:09:57,981 from a record company. 173 00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,021 Doesn't that seem slightly opposed 174 00:10:00,061 --> 00:10:03,181 to their anti-materialistic view of life? 175 00:10:03,221 --> 00:10:05,541 No, the more the merrier. Really? 176 00:10:05,581 --> 00:10:07,181 Oh, yeah. Well, tell me more, then. 177 00:10:07,221 --> 00:10:10,461 We've fucking spent it, ain't we? I don't know. Have you? 178 00:10:11,421 --> 00:10:13,421 Tell me he didn't just say that. He said it. 179 00:10:13,461 --> 00:10:15,501 It's all right. Could have been "flippin'". 180 00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:18,661 Yeah, it's all gone. -Really? -Down the boozer. 181 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,181 Keep it fun, Bill. Good lord! 182 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,181 Now, I want to know one thing. What? 183 00:10:23,221 --> 00:10:26,701 Are you serious or are you just trying to make me laugh? 184 00:10:26,741 --> 00:10:28,301 Better. 185 00:10:28,341 --> 00:10:30,221 No, it's all gone. Gone. 186 00:10:30,261 --> 00:10:32,301 No, but I mean -about what you're doing. -Yeah. 187 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,941 You are serious? Mm. 188 00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:38,101 Beethoven, Mozart, Bach and Brahms have all died - 189 00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:40,061 All heroes of ours, ain't they? 190 00:10:40,101 --> 00:10:42,301 Really? What were you saying, sir? 191 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,061 Don't talk to the mad one! 192 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,461 They're wonderful people. 193 00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:48,941 Are they? Oh, yes. They really turn us on. 194 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,581 But they're dead. 195 00:10:50,621 --> 00:10:52,701 Well, suppose they turn other people on? 196 00:10:52,741 --> 00:10:55,181 That's just their tough shit. 197 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,621 Do something, Bill. 198 00:10:56,661 --> 00:10:57,861 It's what? 199 00:10:57,901 --> 00:11:00,621 Nothing. Rude word. Next question. 200 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,221 No, no. What was the rude word? 201 00:11:03,261 --> 00:11:05,501 Enough! I'm warning you. 202 00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,141 Shit. 203 00:11:07,181 --> 00:11:09,261 Fucking hell! What are we going to do? 204 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,221 Good heavens. You frighten me to death 205 00:11:11,261 --> 00:11:12,821 We've got some VT of Queen. 206 00:11:12,861 --> 00:11:15,381 Tell them about the tour and the single! 207 00:11:15,421 --> 00:11:17,101 What about you girls behind? 208 00:11:17,141 --> 00:11:18,261 Good. Stay with them. 209 00:11:18,301 --> 00:11:20,701 He's like your dad, this geezer, ain't he? 210 00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:22,861 Are you... Or your grandad. 211 00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:24,021 Stop it! 212 00:11:24,061 --> 00:11:25,941 Are you worried or enjoying yourself? 213 00:11:25,981 --> 00:11:28,621 Enjoying myself. -Are you? -Yeah. 214 00:11:28,661 --> 00:11:30,541 That's what I thought you were doing. 215 00:11:30,581 --> 00:11:32,661 Always wanted to meet you. Did you really? 216 00:11:32,701 --> 00:11:35,821 We'll meet afterwards, shall we? Oh, you dirty sod! 217 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,421 You dirty old man! 218 00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:39,381 He does have a point. Bill, this is bad. 219 00:11:39,421 --> 00:11:41,861 Well, keep going, chief. Keep going. 220 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:45,101 Go on. You've got another five seconds. Say something outrageous. 221 00:11:45,141 --> 00:11:47,021 You dirty bastard. Oh, and again. 222 00:11:47,061 --> 00:11:48,941 What the fuck are you doing?! 223 00:11:48,981 --> 00:11:50,101 You dirty fucker. 224 00:11:50,141 --> 00:11:51,621 What a clever boy 225 00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:52,901 What a fucking rotter. 226 00:11:52,941 --> 00:11:55,501 Well, that's it for tonight. The other rocker, Eamonn, 227 00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:58,301 and I'm saying nothing else about him, will be back tomorrow. 228 00:11:58,341 --> 00:12:00,901 I'll be seeing you soon. I hope I'm not seeing you again. 229 00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,941 From me, though, good night. 230 00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,021 Oh, shit. 231 00:12:10,181 --> 00:12:14,061 Oh, my God. I think I'm going to be sick. 232 00:12:18,741 --> 00:12:20,461 Oh, my goodness. 233 00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:23,501 We really must start watching more early evening TV. 234 00:12:24,861 --> 00:12:26,701 Well, I don't reckon they'll show that. 235 00:12:26,741 --> 00:12:28,741 You do know it was live? 236 00:12:29,461 --> 00:12:31,461 It weren't, was it? 237 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,501 Where's Malc? 238 00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:35,821 I need a piss. 239 00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:43,101 Hello. What the fuck do you want? 240 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,301 I'm sorry. How do you mean, swearing? 241 00:12:46,661 --> 00:12:49,861 -I didn't egg them on! -You said, "Say something outrageous". 242 00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:52,181 That's about as egging as egging gets. 243 00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:54,781 They came here determined to make a name for themselves. 244 00:12:54,821 --> 00:12:57,701 What were you doing inviting feral children on air? 245 00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:59,421 They were a late replacement! 246 00:12:59,461 --> 00:13:01,741 Well, next time, use Vera fucking Lynn! 247 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,901 Listen, Mike. I'm a seasoned professional. 248 00:13:04,941 --> 00:13:06,941 If I couldn't handle them, Jesus couldn't! 249 00:13:06,981 --> 00:13:08,981 I'm pretty sure he'd have done a better job. 250 00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,541 And he wouldn't have tried to pull the...freaky bird. 251 00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:14,301 The switchboard can't cope with the volume of complaints. 252 00:13:14,341 --> 00:13:17,701 One man kicked in his new £380 TV in disgust. 253 00:13:18,301 --> 00:13:19,341 I'll see you in the bar. 254 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,221 The top brass will have a say about this. 255 00:13:21,261 --> 00:13:24,581 And Mike, the switchboard -Oh, it's the bloody Somme all over again! 256 00:13:24,621 --> 00:13:26,181 Send the poor duffers over the top. 257 00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:28,741 We can make it better if we deal cannily with the fallout. 258 00:13:28,781 --> 00:13:31,941 Mike! The excess calls are -diverting to the green room. -What?! 259 00:13:31,981 --> 00:13:34,501 Top brass have another G Bill, shut up! 260 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,741 Well, stop the phones diverting! They can't! 261 00:13:37,781 --> 00:13:39,581 Who's in the green room? THEY are. 262 00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:41,501 Shit. 263 00:13:42,381 --> 00:13:45,261 Well, I guarantee the viewers will be on my side. 264 00:13:45,301 --> 00:13:48,301 They'll know it was a minutely planned publicity stunt. 265 00:13:48,341 --> 00:13:50,861 ♪ ..when the story began and I fell in love with you 266 00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,901 ♪ I love your mortal sin... ♪ 267 00:14:05,741 --> 00:14:06,861 Why are you hiding, Malc? 268 00:14:06,901 --> 00:14:08,901 You have ruined everything. 269 00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:13,061 I didn't actually say a word. 270 00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:15,021 I thought you wanted us to make a splash. 271 00:14:15,061 --> 00:14:16,301 A splash! 272 00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:19,021 Not a fucking deathwish tidal wave! 273 00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:22,981 Do you know how long I've been working on this? On you? 274 00:14:26,181 --> 00:14:28,661 Oh, my God. He's crying. 275 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:29,941 I'm not. 276 00:14:31,141 --> 00:14:34,661 I am...melting with disappointment. 277 00:14:41,061 --> 00:14:43,901 Oh, piss the fuck off, mate. Do you know what I mean? 278 00:14:45,701 --> 00:14:47,621 "Now, you listen to me. I've never heard - " 279 00:14:47,661 --> 00:14:49,421 No, you listen, you twatty winge-bag. 280 00:14:49,461 --> 00:14:53,261 People are angry. I hate that. 281 00:14:53,701 --> 00:14:55,301 Let's hope this all blows over. 282 00:14:55,341 --> 00:14:58,341 Get a good night's sleep. You're on tour tomorrow. Norwich. 283 00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,381 You fucked off yet? You still there? 284 00:15:02,421 --> 00:15:04,381 Eh? Are you still there? 285 00:15:04,421 --> 00:15:06,101 Fuck off. 286 00:15:06,141 --> 00:15:08,501 Oh, I thought the Sex Pistols were really nice. 287 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,461 The problem was the pissed old wanker. 288 00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:13,981 -What's happening? -The building's under attack by telephone. 289 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:18,461 This is Viewer's Feedback. You phone in and we shout at you cos you're a fucking disgrace! 290 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:22,181 Seems we've captured the public imagination. 291 00:15:22,861 --> 00:15:25,821 -Right. -No, that wasn't me. I was at home shagging your wife. 292 00:15:25,861 --> 00:15:29,141 This is... Oh, fucking do one, you twat. 293 00:15:30,741 --> 00:15:32,741 ..spectacular. 294 00:15:32,981 --> 00:15:36,021 Yeah, your little moan, write it down, wrap a pineapple in it 295 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:37,461 and shove it up your shitter. 296 00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,261 Oh, hello, Nancy, you fucking - 297 00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:43,221 Apologies. The views just expressed are not those of Thames Television. 298 00:15:43,261 --> 00:15:45,261 Thank you. Why don't you - 299 00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:50,021 Excuse me! 300 00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:52,581 Your limousine is waiting! 301 00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:55,421 Your limousine is waiting. 302 00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:58,661 Hello. Thames Television. Yeah, why don't you fucking - 303 00:15:58,701 --> 00:16:00,701 Your bloody car's outside! 304 00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:07,021 That's so rude. 305 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:11,261 Don't you... 306 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,901 Kiss And Say Goodbye 307 00:16:16,941 --> 00:16:22,821 ♪ I had to meet you here today 308 00:16:24,061 --> 00:16:28,061 ♪ There's just so many things to say 309 00:16:28,101 --> 00:16:30,101 Thank you for having us. 310 00:16:32,261 --> 00:16:37,941 ♪ Please don't stop me till I'm through 311 00:16:37,981 --> 00:16:39,061 Fuck. 312 00:16:39,101 --> 00:16:44,261 ♪ This is something I hate to do... ♪ 313 00:16:46,461 --> 00:16:48,461 Bill. 314 00:16:48,901 --> 00:16:52,501 I've just spoken to the bosses. We're all agreed on the good news. 315 00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:54,541 Nobody said cunt. 316 00:16:55,821 --> 00:16:57,821 That's right, isn't it? Nobody said cunt? 317 00:16:57,861 --> 00:16:59,861 No. Nobody said...that. 318 00:16:59,901 --> 00:17:02,821 But only two people have ever said fuck on TV before. 319 00:17:03,861 --> 00:17:08,101 Kenneth Tynan in 1965 and Peregrine Worsthorne in 1973. 320 00:17:08,141 --> 00:17:10,421 Hm. It's always the posh gits, isn't it? 321 00:17:10,461 --> 00:17:11,701 Until now. 322 00:17:11,741 --> 00:17:13,941 Look me in the eye and tell me you weren't drunk. 323 00:17:13,981 --> 00:17:16,941 I wasn't. Though I'm well on the way now. 324 00:17:17,381 --> 00:17:19,381 You're suspended for two weeks. 325 00:17:23,661 --> 00:17:25,941 Do you know what Da Vinci's Last Supper looks like 326 00:17:25,981 --> 00:17:27,621 without Christ in it? 327 00:17:27,661 --> 00:17:30,141 Well, that's what the Today programme will resemble. 328 00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:32,701 And let's pick a Judas. Again with the Jesus. 329 00:17:32,741 --> 00:17:34,301 Just take a look at yourself, Bill. 330 00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:36,341 I was under pressure. 331 00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:40,741 I thought I was speaking for people like me. 332 00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,221 But if I let it go too far, it was to show that lot up for what they are. 333 00:17:46,261 --> 00:17:48,301 The foul and horrible future. 334 00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:50,901 And do you know what this makes you? Oh, do tell. 335 00:17:51,581 --> 00:17:53,581 The past. 336 00:17:56,581 --> 00:17:58,581 ♪If You Leave Me Now 337 00:18:06,021 --> 00:18:08,021 ♪ If you leave me now 338 00:18:08,061 --> 00:18:12,461 ♪ You'll take away the biggest part of me 339 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,341 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, no, baby... ♪ 340 00:18:17,421 --> 00:18:19,181 We don't want them playing in our town. 341 00:18:19,221 --> 00:18:21,341 What they need is a right good hiding. 342 00:18:21,381 --> 00:18:24,381 I was disgusted. Those freaks and their swearing. 343 00:18:24,421 --> 00:18:26,381 Grundy was as much to blame as they were. 344 00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:28,301 He was encouraging them to say the words. 345 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:32,261 I was so angry with this filth that I took a swing with my boot 346 00:18:32,301 --> 00:18:33,701 and my pricey new TV blew up. 347 00:18:33,741 --> 00:18:35,501 I watched it with my mum and my stepdad 348 00:18:35,541 --> 00:18:37,221 and none of us could believe it. 349 00:18:37,261 --> 00:18:40,581 I've never seen any language like that on TV before. Seriously. 350 00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:44,781 I called in to the TV company to complain and I got more abuse. 351 00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:48,501 We've seen it all before with Elvis Presley and his pelvis. 352 00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:51,741 Now it's punks but they're all God's children. 353 00:18:51,781 --> 00:18:53,901 I just wish they would clean up their language. 354 00:18:53,941 --> 00:18:56,221 I didn't know what to say. I'm an officer of the law 355 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:57,781 so I told them to off. 356 00:18:57,821 --> 00:18:59,901 I loved it. They're So cool. 357 00:18:59,941 --> 00:19:01,181 Seriously. Wow. 358 00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:02,221 Wow. 359 00:19:02,261 --> 00:19:05,581 The Sex Pistols have put punk and what it stands for on the map. 360 00:19:05,621 --> 00:19:07,181 Why stop there? 361 00:19:07,221 --> 00:19:10,261 Wage slaves, throw off your chains, OK? 362 00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:13,621 This is about fear. Nobody should be fearful. Ever. 363 00:19:13,661 --> 00:19:16,061 I saw all this coming. 364 00:19:16,101 --> 00:19:20,141 It is a moment in history when society changed. 365 00:19:20,781 --> 00:19:23,981 As the underclass burst its chains. 366 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:27,941 Music is, if you like, the fuel. 367 00:19:27,981 --> 00:19:32,221 Wrath and frustration are the blazing torches 368 00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:36,701 and the old order with its grizzled henchmen 369 00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:40,941 is the pile of desiccated dead wood 370 00:19:40,981 --> 00:19:43,661 that is about to go up in flames. 371 00:19:44,581 --> 00:19:46,581 Woof! 372 00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:48,141 That's a fire, not a dog. 373 00:19:48,781 --> 00:19:51,221 "Johnny, what have you got to say?" 374 00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,941 Music was dreary. 375 00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:57,981 Everything is boring. 376 00:19:58,021 --> 00:20:00,021 Maybe now it won't be. 377 00:20:02,981 --> 00:20:04,981 This is nice. 378 00:20:06,741 --> 00:20:09,021 Two weeks off, to potter. 379 00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:10,781 No, I think that's it for me. 380 00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:14,501 I've been sent on the long walk back to the pavilion. 381 00:20:15,621 --> 00:20:18,701 Apart from the odd job deputising on Tonight Up North. 382 00:20:19,421 --> 00:20:22,421 Perhaps an emergency fill-in on Celebrity Squares. 383 00:20:24,941 --> 00:20:27,381 And I'll cut the ribbon on a small supermarket or two 384 00:20:27,421 --> 00:20:30,181 on a provincial high street. 385 00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:34,381 So, I'll be at home a lot more now. 386 00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:37,981 ELTON JOHN Don't Go Breaking MY Heart 387 00:20:51,981 --> 00:20:53,981 ♪Anarchy In The UK 388 00:20:57,621 --> 00:21:00,541 ♪ Right...now 389 00:21:00,581 --> 00:21:02,581 ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha 390 00:21:06,461 --> 00:21:09,381 ♪ I am an anti-Christ 391 00:21:09,741 --> 00:21:12,781 ♪ I am an anarchist 392 00:21:13,181 --> 00:21:14,541 ♪ Don't know what I want 393 00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:16,581 ♪ But I know how to get it 394 00:21:16,821 --> 00:21:20,101 ♪ I want to destroy the passer by 395 00:21:20,181 --> 00:21:29,981 ♪ Cos I want to be anarchy 396 00:21:31,861 --> 00:21:33,861 ♪ No dogsbody 397 00:21:34,981 --> 00:21:37,941 ♪ Anarchy for the UK 398 00:21:38,181 --> 00:21:41,301 ♪ It's coming sometime and maybe 399 00:21:41,661 --> 00:21:45,221 ♪ I give a wrong time, stop a traffic line 400 00:21:45,421 --> 00:21:49,181 ♪ Your future dream has sure been seen through 401 00:21:49,301 --> 00:21:59,581 ♪ Cos I want to be anarchy 402 00:22:00,701 --> 00:22:03,141 ♪ In the city... ♪ 403 00:22:26,861 --> 00:22:29,741 subtitles by Deluxe E-mail sky.subtitles@sky.uk