1 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,661 (CROWD MURMURS) 2 00:00:25,461 --> 00:00:26,981 How are you? 3 00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:53,541 All right. We're good to go. 4 00:00:53,581 --> 00:00:57,501 I have a two-part question. I would expect nothing less. Shoot. 5 00:00:57,541 --> 00:00:59,941 The first part is for Mr Dali. 6 00:00:59,981 --> 00:01:02,381 So what was it like working with Mr Cooper? 7 00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:16,581 And part 2, Bob. 8 00:01:16,621 --> 00:01:19,181 Part 2 is for Mr Cooper. 9 00:01:19,221 --> 00:01:21,421 So what as it like working with Mr Dali? 10 00:01:27,981 --> 00:01:30,981 ..on this tour. 11 00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:33,021 Do you want me to...? 12 00:01:33,061 --> 00:01:35,501 I can't afford to put off the dry ice. 13 00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:38,381 You know I don't like being disrespectful to women. 14 00:01:38,421 --> 00:01:40,421 I gotta make this right. 15 00:01:40,461 --> 00:01:42,461 Thank you. 16 00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:46,021 The three golden rules of rock management, my friend. 17 00:01:46,061 --> 00:01:49,741 One. Get the money. Two, always remember to get the money. 18 00:01:49,781 --> 00:01:53,261 And three, never forget and always remember to get the money. 19 00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:58,381 Erica, with your life. 20 00:01:59,261 --> 00:02:02,181 We had some freaky, deaky shit. 21 00:02:02,221 --> 00:02:06,341 Alice, you were beautiful. You were beautiful tonight. 22 00:02:09,861 --> 00:02:12,741 You are not gonna believe who was in the crowd tonight. 23 00:02:13,621 --> 00:02:16,501 Oh, my God. It's not... 24 00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:20,461 -No. -Oh, my God. Dylan? 25 00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:23,141 A little bit more out there. David Crosby? 26 00:02:23,181 --> 00:02:26,701 Way, way, way, way, way, way further out there. 27 00:02:26,741 --> 00:02:28,581 Bing Crosby? 28 00:02:28,621 --> 00:02:30,621 You're never gonna get it. 29 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,901 Are you ready for this? 30 00:02:33,941 --> 00:02:38,901 In the house tonight was Mr Salvador Dali. 31 00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,741 Holy shit. 32 00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:42,781 Salvador Dali? 33 00:02:43,901 --> 00:02:45,901 -Did he like it? -He loved it. 34 00:02:45,941 --> 00:02:48,221 -He loves you. -He said that? 35 00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:51,781 No, his old lady did. He didn't say a word. 36 00:02:51,821 --> 00:02:54,621 The guy's a genius, man. The guy's a genius. 37 00:02:54,661 --> 00:02:58,421 If that gives you one, drop your kimono 38 00:02:58,461 --> 00:03:01,221 and get ready for the happy ending, kimosabi. 39 00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,901 Because the D Man... 40 00:03:03,941 --> 00:03:05,901 ..wants to work with you. 41 00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:10,381 Oh, Nixon's balls. Salvador Dali wants to work with me. 42 00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:12,581 -That's right. -This is it, Shep. 43 00:03:12,781 --> 00:03:15,301 I'm a fucking cultural icon. 44 00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:20,661 Think about it. He could have asked anybody. It could have been Jagger. 45 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,541 It could have been James Taylor. 46 00:03:23,581 --> 00:03:26,021 James Taylor? JT writes a beautiful melody. 47 00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:30,061 -Oh, man, come on. -Ye-oh! Just seen Steve with a stash you won't believe. 48 00:03:30,101 --> 00:03:32,101 Please. Please. 49 00:03:33,141 --> 00:03:35,981 Come on. So what are we talking about here? 50 00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:39,501 Do I paint? Cos I got a fine arts degree. 51 00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:41,741 You know, I haven't painted in a while. 52 00:03:41,781 --> 00:03:45,381 Fucking hell, man. All of that shit's -surreal. -Sssh. 53 00:03:45,421 --> 00:03:47,421 Cool. Hey, Alice. Cool. 54 00:03:48,821 --> 00:03:50,821 Let me do my thing, you know? 55 00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:53,341 Because my thing is what I do. 56 00:03:56,101 --> 00:03:59,941 Holy crap. I'm gonna be collaborating with Salvador Dali. 57 00:04:04,061 --> 00:04:06,741 There will be NO collaborating with the Dali. 58 00:04:08,741 --> 00:04:12,101 He did not collaborate with the Fascists... 59 00:04:12,141 --> 00:04:14,501 whatever people say. 60 00:04:14,541 --> 00:04:19,181 And he will not collaborate with your ridiculous-looking client. 61 00:04:19,221 --> 00:04:21,621 OK. What are we talking about, then? 62 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:25,901 The Dali will create his greatest ever work of art. 63 00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:31,621 In layman's terms, The Dali is l'escrit 64 00:04:31,661 --> 00:04:34,221 and your client is the fruit bowl. 65 00:04:34,261 --> 00:04:38,781 Ha. Well, in that case, 'the fruit -bowl' is gonna need 20 -K up front. 66 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,861 And that's before we talk residual. 67 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:43,781 I refuse to discuss money with you, Mr Blimmings. 68 00:04:43,821 --> 00:04:48,101 You're not discussing it with Mr Blimmings, madam, but with me. 69 00:04:48,141 --> 00:04:50,021 Shep Gordon. 70 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,221 All right. That just happened. So.... 71 00:04:57,261 --> 00:05:01,141 Mr Dali wants to take some kind of photograph of Alice. 72 00:05:01,181 --> 00:05:06,661 Multiple photographs to create a three-dimensional image 73 00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:09,501 otherwise known as a hologram. 74 00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:12,501 So, good day... 75 00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:14,181 Mr Blimmings. 76 00:05:14,221 --> 00:05:19,901 The Dali will see The Cooper on Monday at noon on the dot. 77 00:05:19,941 --> 00:05:22,301 I really hate to be the suit in the room here 78 00:05:22,341 --> 00:05:24,341 but we still need to talk money... 79 00:05:25,061 --> 00:05:27,101 ..in...er...layman's terms. 80 00:05:27,141 --> 00:05:31,581 I can't discuss money without my husband, The Dali. 81 00:05:32,461 --> 00:05:34,461 Well, can we ask him to join us? 82 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,581 (CLUCKING FROM OUTSIDE) Regrettably, he is away on business. 83 00:05:42,781 --> 00:05:47,581 (BELL PINGS) So this guy comes in. He's wearing a crown of thorns. 84 00:05:47,621 --> 00:05:51,821 She slaps him. He leaves. There's no explanation. 85 00:05:51,861 --> 00:05:55,741 -I love it. -Seriously, man, I've had Sinatra's guys hold me off 86 00:05:55,781 --> 00:06:00,301 a balcony in Vegas. I've taken a cricket bat to the gut. 87 00:06:00,341 --> 00:06:02,301 That was a funny thing. 88 00:06:02,341 --> 00:06:04,941 I've even had Colonel Tom Parker put a gun to my head. 89 00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:08,381 But I swear to God, those guys have got nothing on this broad. 90 00:06:08,421 --> 00:06:11,661 I'm serious man. She's messed with -my head. -She's a surrealist. 91 00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:15,301 Which is fine...on stage in a gallery. I think, the circus. 92 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:19,581 But you cannot talk percentages with the clouds. 93 00:06:19,621 --> 00:06:22,821 No sweat, man. I'm not in this for the bread. 94 00:06:22,861 --> 00:06:25,301 This is a true artist collaboration. 95 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,701 The thing is, I don't even know how to close the deal with this chick. 96 00:06:28,741 --> 00:06:31,341 Maybe you gotta sacrifice a goat or something. 97 00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:34,141 Well, I tell you, the one thing I will not be sacrificing 98 00:06:34,181 --> 00:06:35,421 is your deal, buddy. OK? 99 00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:39,181 We will get it closed before you finish the hologram. 100 00:06:39,221 --> 00:06:42,381 Where is Dali anyway? They said noon sharp, right? 101 00:06:42,421 --> 00:06:45,701 I guess it's hard to tell the time when all your clocks have melted (!) 102 00:06:45,741 --> 00:06:48,741 Ladies and gentleman, The Dali!! 103 00:06:52,221 --> 00:06:54,341 (HEN CLUCKS) 104 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,381 This is what I'm talking about. 105 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,301 (SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 106 00:07:12,221 --> 00:07:15,581 The Dali says dinner is served. 107 00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:25,101 Because the unconscious mind is so key to your work, 108 00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:28,061 I was wondering how big an influence Freud is for you. 109 00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:35,501 You want me to cut that for you, -sir? -No, he does not, Mr Blimmings. 110 00:07:36,741 --> 00:07:38,461 Again with the Blimmings. 111 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:42,661 Are you, like, making a comment on the whole role of food 112 00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:45,821 in today's consumerist society? Net. 113 00:07:45,861 --> 00:07:47,861 Ich waere Russisch. 114 00:07:51,061 --> 00:07:53,061 I'm gonna go with it. 115 00:07:53,101 --> 00:07:56,941 Sorry to interrupt The Dali. It's just last month's bill... 116 00:07:56,981 --> 00:07:59,701 in the sum of $14,000. (WHISTLES THROUGH TEETH) 117 00:08:02,301 --> 00:08:04,301 Oh, yes. Of course. 118 00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:10,341 This is the greatest lunch ever. 119 00:08:14,781 --> 00:08:16,781 Yes, sir. Thank you. 120 00:08:16,821 --> 00:08:20,781 Hey, if I signed your shirt, could I get a bottle of Dom Perignon? 121 00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,821 (ALICE SNIGGERS) 122 00:08:22,861 --> 00:08:24,741 It's a joke. Busting your balls. 123 00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:26,781 (Oh, yes. Very funny.) 124 00:08:28,821 --> 00:08:31,781 It's good? 125 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:52,101 So, how do you want me? I'm putty in your hands, maestro. 126 00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:58,621 Ha! Maestro! You forgot this, you silly old fool. 127 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,061 I should never have left Max Ernst. 128 00:09:02,101 --> 00:09:07,021 He would never have prostituted himself to the Americans!! 129 00:09:07,061 --> 00:09:09,061 You DISGUST me! 130 00:09:09,101 --> 00:09:11,661 Puta! (SPITS) 131 00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:17,341 He is not human nor a fool. 132 00:09:17,381 --> 00:09:19,341 Hang on. You speak English? 133 00:09:19,381 --> 00:09:21,381 It is a good thing... 134 00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:27,701 ..you did not catch her in one of her bad moods. 135 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:30,981 She just spat in your face, man. -What of it? -That's cool. 136 00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,221 It's cool. You're a couple of freaks. I did it. 137 00:09:33,261 --> 00:09:36,781 You call my wife...a freak? 138 00:09:36,821 --> 00:09:39,541 No. No. No. I was saying... No. No. No. No. No. No. 139 00:09:39,581 --> 00:09:45,061 We cannot begin this way. We are finished for today. 140 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:47,061 Come back tomorrow. 141 00:09:47,101 --> 00:09:50,021 And BE ready. How do you mean 'ready'? 142 00:09:52,661 --> 00:09:54,661 Wear this. 143 00:09:58,141 --> 00:10:00,141 (BELL DINGS) 144 00:10:01,061 --> 00:10:04,741 Listen, buddy, I know the first day was rough. 145 00:10:04,781 --> 00:10:07,301 I know you called his wife a freak. (CLUCKS) 146 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:09,341 But it's OK. You're doing great. 147 00:10:09,381 --> 00:10:11,621 He's playing mind games with you. 148 00:10:11,661 --> 00:10:14,821 He's also got two giant eggs for boxing gloves. 149 00:10:14,861 --> 00:10:17,781 (CLUCKS) Yeah. It's a little unorthodox. 150 00:10:17,821 --> 00:10:19,821 (EXHALES) But you can take him. 151 00:10:21,141 --> 00:10:23,141 Eat him for breakfast. 152 00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:28,461 You call those boxing gloves, you hopeless... 153 00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:32,661 Aren't you meant to be building up my confidence? 154 00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:38,661 And aren't you meant to be that great genius, Salvador Dali? 155 00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:40,901 (BELL DINGS REPEATEDLY) Seconds out. 156 00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:47,261 OK. Just another day at the office. 157 00:10:48,261 --> 00:10:50,261 (EXHALES) 158 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,181 Behold, the brain. 159 00:11:01,221 --> 00:11:03,901 Is that a real brain? Yes. 160 00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:06,701 Really? It looks like a plaster cast. 161 00:11:06,741 --> 00:11:08,741 What's that on top of it? 162 00:11:08,781 --> 00:11:12,141 Confusion. Isn't it a chocolate eclair? 163 00:11:12,181 --> 00:11:15,781 How is that confusion? Bzzzzzzzzz! 164 00:11:15,821 --> 00:11:18,661 (SPEAKS GIBBERISH) Rrrrrrrr! 165 00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:22,381 OK. So I have to be confused too. Is that the idea? 166 00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:24,621 No... No. No. No. No. No. 167 00:11:26,221 --> 00:11:28,221 -Sit. -Here? 168 00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:39,781 OK. Brain chocolate eclair on red velvet cushion. 169 00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:42,741 (SNIGGERS) Doesn't need anything else. I dig it. 170 00:11:42,781 --> 00:11:44,781 (YELLS OUT) 171 00:11:45,461 --> 00:11:47,461 (CLICKS FINGERS) 172 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:53,181 What am I saying? It needs some ants tipped on it by your old lady (!) 173 00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:06,861 Come on, Mrs Dali, can we not reach a deal where everybody wins? 174 00:12:06,901 --> 00:12:13,061 Did I tell you Paul Eluard and Max Ernst were incapable 175 00:12:13,101 --> 00:12:15,861 of satisfying me simultaneously? 176 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,901 No, I think I would have remembered that. 177 00:12:17,941 --> 00:12:21,421 One for to enter the portal of Venus 178 00:12:21,461 --> 00:12:26,141 and the other, shall we say, in the mode a la Grec. 179 00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:28,781 Yeah. Listen... 180 00:12:28,821 --> 00:12:30,821 speaking of the back end... 181 00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:35,501 ..if we can't reach a deal here, I'm gonna have to pull my boy out. 182 00:12:36,781 --> 00:12:38,781 Are you referring to your... 183 00:12:39,381 --> 00:12:42,381 ..what your Americans call it, your cock? 184 00:12:42,421 --> 00:12:46,261 Stop trying to throw me off my game with all this sex talk! Jesus. 185 00:12:47,821 --> 00:12:49,381 (SIGHS) Listen to me. 186 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:56,741 If you cannot afford to pay Alice, 187 00:12:56,781 --> 00:13:00,021 he will be happy to accept payment in kind. 188 00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:03,141 He is not getting the diamonds. 189 00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:06,101 He doesn't want the diamonds. What is he? Liberace? 190 00:13:07,101 --> 00:13:08,901 He wants the brain. 191 00:13:08,941 --> 00:13:11,621 With or without the eclair? 192 00:13:11,661 --> 00:13:14,021 With the eclair and the ants. 193 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,061 All the trimmings. 194 00:13:16,101 --> 00:13:19,861 All the trimmings for Mr Blimmings. 195 00:13:19,901 --> 00:13:21,901 Very well. 196 00:13:21,941 --> 00:13:24,621 But on one condition. Oh, boy. Here it comes. 197 00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,581 The brain must simply disappear. 198 00:13:29,261 --> 00:13:33,781 My fool of a husband is getting a reputation for paying people 199 00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:35,821 with his art. 200 00:13:35,861 --> 00:13:37,861 OK. 201 00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:41,381 Deal. 202 00:13:44,861 --> 00:13:45,941 (BANG!) 203 00:13:45,981 --> 00:13:48,941 Tell me if I'm speaking out of turn here, Senor Dali, 204 00:13:48,981 --> 00:13:51,461 but your wife, she's kind of a pistol, isn't she? 205 00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,501 Pistol? 206 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,941 -Pistol. -Yes. Yes. I like that. 207 00:13:56,981 --> 00:14:01,181 She has the masculiiiine power of a pistol. 208 00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,381 This is good. Now we're sharing. 209 00:14:03,421 --> 00:14:06,581 She is the man and the woman combined. 210 00:14:06,981 --> 00:14:09,261 -Like you. -The what now? 211 00:14:09,301 --> 00:14:11,981 Well, you are Cooper the man, yes? 212 00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:14,221 But you are also Alice the woman. 213 00:14:14,261 --> 00:14:17,141 You are half woman. 214 00:14:17,181 --> 00:14:20,701 You do know I'm not a transsexual, -don't you? -Yes. Yes. 215 00:14:20,741 --> 00:14:22,901 Trrrrrranssexual. 216 00:14:22,941 --> 00:14:24,941 No. No. No. It's just my stage name. 217 00:14:24,981 --> 00:14:27,861 Alice. My real name's Vince Furnier. 218 00:14:29,901 --> 00:14:32,181 (CLICKS GENERATOR OFF, IT POWERS DOWN) 219 00:14:33,021 --> 00:14:35,021 You are not Alice Cooper? 220 00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:39,461 Well, originally, it was the band's name, now it's kind of my name. 221 00:14:39,501 --> 00:14:43,501 What? Alice Cooper is just a mask? 222 00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:47,781 Doesn't everybody wear a mask? Isn't Salvador Dali a mask? 223 00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:49,821 No. No. No. No. No. 224 00:14:49,861 --> 00:14:51,861 I am him; he is me. The Dali. 225 00:14:52,661 --> 00:14:55,581 But you, you just put on the Alice Cooper mask. 226 00:14:56,741 --> 00:14:59,381 I may not be on the same level as you are artistically, 227 00:14:59,421 --> 00:15:02,101 but do you know what? I think I'm a lot happier. 228 00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:04,701 -Happier? Ha! -Yeah. 229 00:15:05,621 --> 00:15:10,181 Who wants to be happy? The pig is happier than the sheep. 230 00:15:10,221 --> 00:15:13,021 But The Cooper, he could be the great artist. 231 00:15:13,061 --> 00:15:15,061 Like The Dali. 232 00:15:15,101 --> 00:15:19,821 If only he will sacrifice happiness. 233 00:15:19,861 --> 00:15:21,861 That's a load of art school crock. 234 00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:24,741 Van Gogh didn't need to cut off his ear to be a great artist. 235 00:15:24,781 --> 00:15:27,901 Cutting off his ear was -his grrrreatest work of art. -Yeah. 236 00:15:27,941 --> 00:15:32,141 Personally, I prefer Starry Night. When did he paint Starry Night? 237 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,421 After he cut off his ear! 238 00:15:34,461 --> 00:15:37,381 OK. So what about you? What sacrifice are you making? 239 00:15:37,421 --> 00:15:40,701 Just bendy clocks and living in a luxury hotel in Manhattan. 240 00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:43,421 You wouldn't cut off room service. What do you know of my life? 241 00:15:43,461 --> 00:15:45,981 -The Dali, he's suffered. -Yeah. Sure. 242 00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:48,741 -At the hands of your wife. -What?! 243 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,181 I'm just saying... Kind of a ballbuster, Gala. 244 00:15:53,181 --> 00:15:56,261 Meanwhile, I see you getting nice and cosy with these young guys. 245 00:15:56,301 --> 00:15:59,381 That is none of your business. Hey, I'm not judging. 246 00:15:59,421 --> 00:16:01,741 I only pray, that when I get to your age, 247 00:16:01,781 --> 00:16:05,061 I've got the same pep in my step. You don't understand. 248 00:16:05,101 --> 00:16:08,981 Ever since he was a masturbating arts student, 249 00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:11,941 The Dali has been obsessed with me. 250 00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:14,501 It is what drives him. 251 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,741 If ever I let him possess me fully... 252 00:16:17,781 --> 00:16:20,141 then that obsession will die. 253 00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:22,501 And with it, his genius. I hear you. 254 00:16:22,541 --> 00:16:24,981 Treat 'em mean; keep 'em keen. 255 00:16:25,021 --> 00:16:28,101 Keep the money rolling through the cash machine. 256 00:16:28,141 --> 00:16:30,941 What a vulgar little man you are. 257 00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:33,941 Oh, yeah? Says back-door babe over here (!) 258 00:16:33,981 --> 00:16:35,981 Listen, I get it. I get it. 259 00:16:36,021 --> 00:16:37,821 It's tricky. 260 00:16:37,861 --> 00:16:40,421 I keep telling Alice he drinks too much and he just says, 261 00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:42,421 "What am I supposed to do? Take up golf?" 262 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:44,501 No. No. No. No. No. I'm just a little buzzed. 263 00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:47,381 -I need a bathroom break. -What? The Cooper want a potty? 264 00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:49,701 You know what? Fuck it. 265 00:16:58,381 --> 00:17:01,381 (UNZIPS TROUSERS) You know what this represents, Cooper? 266 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:04,221 (URINATES) Your brain. 267 00:17:06,181 --> 00:17:09,381 You could be the great artist. 268 00:17:09,421 --> 00:17:15,461 But you love too much the cheap confectionarrrrryyyy... 269 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,581 of happiness. 270 00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:20,621 And that is why this chocolate eclair. 271 00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:23,821 So, if the chocolate eclair is my desire for happiness, 272 00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:26,261 how come you put your name on the brain too? 273 00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:28,621 Er...well, because... 274 00:17:28,661 --> 00:17:30,941 And what's with the ants? ..confusion. 275 00:17:30,981 --> 00:17:33,461 Oh, look at you. You're just making it up as you go along. 276 00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:37,581 -That is not true. -You're a carny conman. A snake oil salesman. 277 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:40,741 But you know what? That's cool, man. I'll drink to that. 278 00:17:41,181 --> 00:17:43,181 (CHOKES AND SPITS) 279 00:17:44,741 --> 00:17:47,341 OK. That was piss. (CHORTLES) 280 00:17:50,261 --> 00:17:54,781 You know, Vincent van Gogh... he cut off his own ear. 281 00:17:54,821 --> 00:17:59,621 Vincent Furnier drinks his own uri-i-i-i-ine. 282 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,661 You got any mouthwash? 283 00:18:01,701 --> 00:18:03,701 (GARGLES) 284 00:18:05,221 --> 00:18:08,421 Last round coming up, buddy. Don't let him get into your head. 285 00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:11,501 This whole thing's a piece of... -You know who you are. -Yeah. 286 00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,541 -You're Alice Cooper. -Yeah. I am. 287 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,261 -Or Vincent Furnier. -Or Vincent Furnier. 288 00:18:18,301 --> 00:18:20,381 -Alice Furnier. -I'm Alice Furnier. 289 00:18:20,421 --> 00:18:22,421 -Or Vincent Cooper. -Vincent Cooper. 290 00:18:25,301 --> 00:18:27,301 Who am I? 291 00:18:27,381 --> 00:18:30,021 He is not the future of surrealism. 292 00:18:30,061 --> 00:18:34,661 He is nothing but a drunken, Las Vegas clown. 293 00:18:34,701 --> 00:18:37,341 Well, to be fair, my sweet... 294 00:18:37,381 --> 00:18:39,381 it was you who suggested we... 295 00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:45,021 Shut up and finish him off, you weak feeble, irrelevant fool! 296 00:18:46,941 --> 00:18:50,341 -Was it? -Aarrghhhhh! 297 00:18:55,261 --> 00:18:58,421 So you really think this is gonna be, like, a classic Dali piece? 298 00:18:58,461 --> 00:19:02,261 You know, like, up there with The Persistence of Memory. 299 00:19:02,301 --> 00:19:04,101 But yes, of course. 300 00:19:04,141 --> 00:19:09,821 Because, for Dali, he is incapable of creating anything... 301 00:19:09,861 --> 00:19:12,301 inferior.(SNORTS) Really? 302 00:19:13,421 --> 00:19:15,861 You never just gone, "Fuck it. That'll do." 303 00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,701 Never. 304 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:21,781 So, you're saying, the other day when you signed that guy's tie, 305 00:19:21,821 --> 00:19:25,501 that tie is every bit as great as The Metamorphosis of Narcissus? 306 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:29,501 Yes, because The Dali, he signed it. 307 00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,981 You do not understand. 308 00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:36,421 Dali is the work of art not the tie. 309 00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:38,461 The tie is... 310 00:19:39,181 --> 00:19:41,061 ..ir-r-r-relevant. 311 00:19:41,101 --> 00:19:43,941 So what does that make me? Am I irrelevant? 312 00:19:43,981 --> 00:19:46,501 Ah. What do you think, Cooper, huh? 313 00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:50,221 Will you become the Claude Monet, 314 00:19:50,261 --> 00:19:55,501 or just one of the water lilies... 315 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:56,541 (BUZZ) 316 00:19:58,181 --> 00:20:00,741 -..floating in a pond. -Oh, come on. 317 00:20:00,781 --> 00:20:04,581 You're not gonna compare this hologram to Monet's Water Lilies. 318 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,621 No, that is not for me to say because Claude Monet 319 00:20:07,661 --> 00:20:09,541 was in his 80s when he painted those. 320 00:20:09,581 --> 00:20:11,981 Maybe if I just keep working, I will create... 321 00:20:12,021 --> 00:20:16,781 (CRASH!) Maybe if you just keep working (!) 322 00:20:18,541 --> 00:20:20,741 Is that all you are now? 323 00:20:20,781 --> 00:20:25,341 Some pathetic old man who 'just keeps working'. 324 00:20:25,381 --> 00:20:27,981 Who just keeps going. 325 00:20:28,021 --> 00:20:30,701 Where is the surrealism? 326 00:20:30,741 --> 00:20:34,781 Here! Dali is sur-r-r-realism. 327 00:20:34,821 --> 00:20:37,901 Don't give me that old line again! 328 00:20:37,941 --> 00:20:39,941 You have failed. 329 00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:44,021 Failed... to put your blood into this. 330 00:20:44,061 --> 00:20:48,141 Your genius failed to sacrifice. 331 00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:50,501 What have I not sacrificed? 332 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:54,541 Reality. If you are the great surrealist... 333 00:20:55,861 --> 00:20:57,901 ..sacrifice REALITY! 334 00:20:58,021 --> 00:21:00,021 Fucking A, Mrs D. 335 00:21:02,781 --> 00:21:05,501 (YELLS INCOMPREHENSIBLY) 336 00:21:05,541 --> 00:21:07,581 No, wait. That's a real blade. 337 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,941 Dali is... 338 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:18,101 -One, get a brain. -I've come to collect Mr Cooper's fee. 339 00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:21,701 Two... Always remember to get a brain. 340 00:21:21,741 --> 00:21:25,221 So, what was it like working with Mr -Dali? -Could you repeat the question? 341 00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:28,661 Three... Alice, don't answer. ..never forget to always... 342 00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:31,061 ..remember to get a brain. 343 00:21:31,101 --> 00:21:34,341 Dali. Not... what he thinks or what... 344 00:21:34,381 --> 00:21:36,101 -I had no brain. -No head. 345 00:21:36,141 --> 00:21:38,141 Alice, you keep away... 346 00:21:38,301 --> 00:21:40,461 -Dali. -Select The Dali. 347 00:21:40,501 --> 00:21:44,301 Please watch it. (OVERLAPPING VOICES) 348 00:21:46,741 --> 00:21:48,741 (OVERLAPPING VOICES CONTINUE) 349 00:21:48,781 --> 00:21:50,901 No. No. No. NO! Dali! 350 00:22:01,301 --> 00:22:03,381 So what was it like working with Mr Dali? 351 00:22:10,941 --> 00:22:13,861 subtitles by Deluxe E-mail sky.subtitles@sky.uk