1 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,101 'He's circling him now.' 2 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:42,901 IN FRENCH: 3 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,541 'Oh, it's a heavy punch to the chin.' 4 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:04,381 'Andre's rattled now but he's not going down. 5 00:01:04,421 --> 00:01:07,381 'It's a huge body slam. He's going for the pin!' 6 00:01:10,101 --> 00:01:11,781 'The Giant wins!' 7 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,501 You know, Boris... 8 00:01:16,061 --> 00:01:17,821 ..you were right. 9 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:36,261 -C'est magnifique. -How long? 10 00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:38,021 Three months, sir. 11 00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:39,741 And you start today? 12 00:01:39,781 --> 00:01:44,021 Not today, sir. There's too much moisture in the air. 13 00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:55,261 To you, sir, this will look -like a brick. -Uncannily so. 14 00:01:55,301 --> 00:01:58,661 To me, this is the unhatched shell of an exotic bird. 15 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,261 Oh, Christ. 16 00:02:00,301 --> 00:02:02,021 And when I lay it, 17 00:02:02,061 --> 00:02:05,261 I lay it with such care so that it does not open 18 00:02:05,301 --> 00:02:08,021 and let the parrot fly back to the jungle. 19 00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:12,741 Do you think three months is a little ambitious? 20 00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:16,821 We want to work hard, sir. That is all we want. 21 00:02:16,861 --> 00:02:19,661 You have my full support. But it is hard. 22 00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:23,741 The way they look at us, it gives my men the paranoia. 23 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,581 SHEEP BAA 24 00:02:30,621 --> 00:02:34,821 Boris, I think you and I are going to be friends. 25 00:02:36,861 --> 00:02:40,021 After tomorrow, work will be a little slower. 26 00:02:41,541 --> 00:02:44,661 I'm intrigued just how you will achieve that. 27 00:02:44,701 --> 00:02:49,421 Tomorrow my son returns to school and he's too tall for the bus. 28 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,781 I must drive him. 29 00:02:51,821 --> 00:02:55,181 How small is the bus? The bus is not small. 30 00:02:55,221 --> 00:02:58,541 My son is 12 years old and already more than two metres tall. 31 00:02:59,581 --> 00:03:05,501 You know, Boris, while your work has been quite tortuous to observe, 32 00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:11,181 I have taken refuge in my enjoyment -of your excuses. -Thank you, sir. 33 00:03:11,221 --> 00:03:15,741 However, when telling a story, you must respect your audience. 34 00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:20,021 I'm afraid your gigantic son has pushed you over the line 35 00:03:20,061 --> 00:03:22,381 between absurdism and fantasy 36 00:03:22,421 --> 00:03:27,421 and that is the line, my friend, between genius and gobshite. 37 00:03:29,461 --> 00:03:31,381 Andre. Viens-la. 38 00:03:39,061 --> 00:03:40,861 This is my son. 39 00:03:40,901 --> 00:03:42,741 Fuck me. 40 00:03:43,781 --> 00:03:49,461 Boris, you need to work and I'll take any opportunity not to work. 41 00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:51,701 I will take Andre to school. 42 00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:28,461 -How is your English? -It is bad, sir. 43 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,781 Then we shall speak only in English. 44 00:04:31,821 --> 00:04:33,501 I do not like it. 45 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:36,261 Neither do I, but Shakespeare put up with it 46 00:04:36,301 --> 00:04:38,861 so we should at least give it a crack. 47 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:46,141 My father said you wrote -a famous play. -So they tell me. 48 00:04:46,181 --> 00:04:48,021 He said that nothing happens. 49 00:04:48,061 --> 00:04:51,021 Twice. Nothing happens twice. Don't sell me short. 50 00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:52,421 Good luck. 51 00:05:14,061 --> 00:05:18,021 'The publisher ask every day, sir, when will we see the new play? 52 00:05:18,061 --> 00:05:20,501 'I'm running out of lies to tell them.' 53 00:05:20,541 --> 00:05:24,261 Words are forming, Jerome. They're just not ready for the page. 54 00:05:25,301 --> 00:05:28,021 'Is this because of the London reviews?' 55 00:05:29,541 --> 00:05:33,741 Let me deal with the pain before I go looking for the cause. 56 00:05:38,581 --> 00:05:39,781 Merci. 57 00:05:45,781 --> 00:05:47,941 He doesn't want to go to school. 58 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,381 Of course he doesn't. He's 12 years old. 59 00:05:51,421 --> 00:05:56,021 Look at the way he works. Here, what he is, it is celebrated. 60 00:05:56,061 --> 00:05:58,501 Is it celebrated at the school? 61 00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:03,021 Let me take him today and tomorrow he can decide. 62 00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:09,501 The one in the cap, he is the leader? 63 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,021 Yes, sir. 64 00:06:17,021 --> 00:06:19,021 BELL RINGS 65 00:07:03,101 --> 00:07:05,101 BELL RINGS 66 00:07:14,021 --> 00:07:16,021 -Au revoir. -Au revoir! 67 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:25,021 We seem to have liberated some parrots. 68 00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:29,021 -Tidal movements. -Tidal movements? 69 00:07:29,061 --> 00:07:31,461 I'm sorry, sir, we are at their mercy. 70 00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:35,981 We are also, of course, a hundred miles from the sea. 71 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:40,021 Somebody once told me that thousands of years ago 72 00:07:40,061 --> 00:07:44,021 the whole of France was underwater. A little more than thousands. 73 00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:48,341 When the... Perhaps. ..fish swam where we are now. 74 00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:52,261 Maybe even dolphins. "Maybe" is such a redundant word. 75 00:07:52,301 --> 00:07:54,741 I wonder what those dolphins would say 76 00:07:54,781 --> 00:07:57,501 about this pressure you put me under, sir. 77 00:07:57,541 --> 00:08:00,301 I think the dolphins would tell you to relax. 78 00:08:00,341 --> 00:08:05,501 My friend, while the thoughts of long dead imaginary dolphins 79 00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:08,381 are clearly to be respected... Thank you, sir. 80 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:13,461 ..may I observe the days get shorter and our three months have... 81 00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:15,501 Good morning! 82 00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:37,341 Bonjour. 83 00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:40,221 Ah. 84 00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:54,221 You have lived in Paris? I have lived in Paris. 85 00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:57,621 One of the boys at school, his uncle visits Paris. 86 00:08:57,661 --> 00:08:59,741 The women are very forward? 87 00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:02,021 The women are very forward. 88 00:09:02,061 --> 00:09:06,261 His uncle was on the Champs Elysees and a woman dropped her hat. 89 00:09:06,301 --> 00:09:09,741 He picked up the hat and she said he had to have sex with her. 90 00:09:09,781 --> 00:09:12,221 Must have been quite a hat. 91 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:15,741 Another time his uncle told a woman in Paris that he liked her hair. 92 00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:19,501 She said, "I'm a doctor and you must come with me."Here we go! 93 00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:22,261 She took him to the hospital, where they had sex 94 00:09:22,301 --> 00:09:26,501 with all the other doctors watching. May I address a few logical hiccups? 95 00:09:26,541 --> 00:09:30,021 Another time his uncle was at the zoo and they locked the doors 96 00:09:30,061 --> 00:09:32,341 so to get out he had to have sex. 97 00:09:32,381 --> 00:09:34,061 With a lioness?! 98 00:09:34,101 --> 00:09:35,821 With the zoo keeper. 99 00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:38,821 You see, a lioness would have been a twist. 100 00:09:40,061 --> 00:09:43,181 I would like to live in Paris. I'm not surprised. 101 00:09:43,221 --> 00:09:45,701 Maybe one day I will do so. 102 00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,981 Then stick in at school, Andre. 103 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,501 Education brings opportunities. 104 00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:54,621 Paris, coquettish zoo keepers - the full caboodle. 105 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:57,301 Did you live in Paris during the war? 106 00:09:58,341 --> 00:10:02,581 I lived in many places during the war. 107 00:10:14,421 --> 00:10:17,381 Andre's English improves markedly. 108 00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:20,021 Thank you, Mr Beckett. 109 00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:24,181 You know he has dreams of living in Paris? 110 00:10:27,101 --> 00:10:28,621 La fete de la victoire. 111 00:10:34,861 --> 00:10:37,261 Vive la resistance. 112 00:10:39,301 --> 00:10:42,781 In the resistance, did you -kill a lot of Nazi? -Andre! 113 00:10:42,821 --> 00:10:44,741 I want to kill Nazi. 114 00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:48,021 Well, it's an admirable ambition, Andre, 115 00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:50,301 but you're a bit late. 116 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:55,181 BELL RINGS 117 00:10:57,061 --> 00:10:59,101 -Au revoir. -Au revoir. 118 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,221 Happy birthday. 119 00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:22,741 So you will never get lost. 120 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,501 Tell me, Andre, have you ever tasted champagne? 121 00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:38,141 Merci. 122 00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:41,141 Now, Andre, I have seen many men, 123 00:11:41,181 --> 00:11:45,021 great men, brought to their knees by this horse, 124 00:11:45,061 --> 00:11:49,901 so promise me you'll treat it with respect. 125 00:11:49,941 --> 00:11:51,181 Yes, sir. 126 00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:54,021 -Sante. -Sante. 127 00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:59,341 ♪ And on that farm he had a pig 128 00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:01,341 ♪ E-I-E-I-O 129 00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:04,381 ♪ With an oink oink here And an oink oink there...♪ 130 00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:07,501 Come on, join in, Andre! I do not know the words. 131 00:12:07,541 --> 00:12:10,581 Oh, you're no fun at all! 132 00:12:10,621 --> 00:12:14,461 Why are you so sad on your birthday? 133 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,501 You'll see, sir. 134 00:12:28,421 --> 00:12:30,461 Andre. 135 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:32,261 Come. You'll be late. 136 00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:36,221 He's 13 now. No more school. 137 00:12:37,261 --> 00:12:39,501 But he enjoys school. 138 00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:44,021 He has friends, a girl. He has dreams, Boris. 139 00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:47,541 And you should not be filling Andre's head with these dreams. 140 00:12:47,581 --> 00:12:51,501 He cannot go to Paris and have all those people make fun of him. 141 00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:55,141 Here he's safe. Here his size is valued. 142 00:12:55,181 --> 00:12:58,261 So you're going to hide him away for the rest of his life 143 00:12:58,301 --> 00:13:00,141 like a bloody dirty secret? 144 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:05,221 Thank you for driving him but Andre doesn't need you any more. 145 00:13:07,861 --> 00:13:09,261 Allez. 146 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:24,101 You don't need him yet. 147 00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:26,781 He can't work in this weather. 148 00:13:26,821 --> 00:13:31,541 Let me take him to school, at least until his examinations. 149 00:13:31,581 --> 00:13:33,061 OK. 150 00:13:33,101 --> 00:13:35,621 Andre can take the examinations. 151 00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:39,181 If he passes every one, then he can stay at school. 152 00:13:39,221 --> 00:13:41,301 That seems like a fair deal. 153 00:13:41,341 --> 00:13:45,261 Of course, Andre has never passed an examination in his life. 154 00:13:47,341 --> 00:13:48,541 Not one. 155 00:13:51,821 --> 00:13:53,901 Perhaps we could renegotiate. 156 00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:57,301 Good luck. 157 00:14:07,661 --> 00:14:10,541 And when the penis is inside the woman, 158 00:14:10,581 --> 00:14:14,701 a little hatch opens at the top. 159 00:14:14,741 --> 00:14:19,061 The baby swims up and out of the man 160 00:14:19,101 --> 00:14:21,301 and into the woman. 161 00:14:21,341 --> 00:14:24,541 Then the man takes out his penis. 162 00:14:24,581 --> 00:14:26,061 Thank God. 163 00:14:26,101 --> 00:14:28,301 And closes the hatch. 164 00:14:30,061 --> 00:14:32,981 Let's leave biology for now. 165 00:14:37,061 --> 00:14:40,381 The negotiations were very difficult. 166 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:44,541 Some people supported the appeasement 167 00:14:44,581 --> 00:14:46,781 and the other people... 168 00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:48,301 Bon appetit. 169 00:14:48,341 --> 00:14:51,981 And then Hitler invaded Poland and that is when the war started. 170 00:14:54,781 --> 00:14:58,301 You know, Hitler only started all the Nazi bollocks 171 00:14:58,341 --> 00:15:01,821 because he was such a God awful painter. 172 00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:04,581 That's what a bad review can do to a man. 173 00:15:04,621 --> 00:15:05,701 Yes, sir. 174 00:15:05,741 --> 00:15:11,101 But a bad review is never just a bad review, of course. 175 00:15:11,141 --> 00:15:12,541 No, sir. 176 00:15:12,581 --> 00:15:16,061 You see, when Godot got to London 177 00:15:16,101 --> 00:15:20,541 and the English had seen the reviews from Paris and Berlin... 178 00:15:20,581 --> 00:15:22,461 All the rage, you know? 179 00:15:22,501 --> 00:15:27,061 And, well, they could hardly play third fiddle 180 00:15:27,101 --> 00:15:30,061 to the Frogs and the Krauts, could they now? 181 00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:33,061 So... 182 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:36,301 ..they twisted the knife. 183 00:15:37,581 --> 00:15:39,541 And what did I do? 184 00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:43,261 I came here and built a cottage. 185 00:15:43,301 --> 00:15:45,821 How dignified of me. 186 00:15:46,861 --> 00:15:48,581 Yes, sir. 187 00:15:49,621 --> 00:15:52,501 I should have bombed the West End instead. 188 00:15:52,541 --> 00:15:55,021 I do not think you should have done that, sir. 189 00:15:55,061 --> 00:15:56,781 Ah, you're right. 190 00:15:57,821 --> 00:16:00,821 They'd have said it lacked nuance. 191 00:16:04,181 --> 00:16:05,741 Listen, Andre. 192 00:16:06,781 --> 00:16:08,461 The rain has stopped. 193 00:16:11,581 --> 00:16:15,301 It could be said that the situation between the man and the cottage 194 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:18,301 is that of two lovers who have been apart too long. 195 00:16:18,341 --> 00:16:21,061 Anything could be said, of course. 196 00:16:21,101 --> 00:16:23,941 The slower they get to know each other's bodies again, 197 00:16:23,981 --> 00:16:26,301 the more satisfying the end result will be. 198 00:16:26,341 --> 00:16:30,461 I fear for this metaphor, Boris. I fear for it. 199 00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:33,781 I must work slowly to fully tantalise the cottage. 200 00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:36,861 But equally, the cottage must not be rushed 201 00:16:36,901 --> 00:16:40,101 in its attempts to fully tantalise the man. 202 00:16:40,141 --> 00:16:44,301 Boris, whether or not the man and indeed the cottage 203 00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:48,621 are fully tantalised is of course a significant concern. 204 00:16:48,661 --> 00:16:52,061 Thank you, sir. But at the same time... 205 00:16:52,101 --> 00:16:54,541 my hotel bills are mounting 206 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:58,941 and I must, surely to God, one day move into my home. 207 00:16:58,981 --> 00:17:03,541 If you are in such a hurry, sir, I could use some extra hands. 208 00:17:09,581 --> 00:17:10,941 Not yet. 209 00:17:14,061 --> 00:17:16,301 The words are formed, Jerome, 210 00:17:16,341 --> 00:17:21,781 but choosing one to use first feels such a betrayal of the others. 211 00:17:21,821 --> 00:17:26,061 'This is not good for you, Sam, to be away from Paris, 212 00:17:26,101 --> 00:17:30,061 'away from Suzanne, alone out there with your thoughts all day.' 213 00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:32,301 Oh, I'm keeping busy, Jerome. 214 00:17:32,341 --> 00:17:34,541 I take this kid to school. 215 00:17:34,581 --> 00:17:37,061 He's too big for the bus, you see. 216 00:17:37,101 --> 00:17:40,301 Over two metres tall at 12 years old if you can believe it. 217 00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:41,541 'Sam...' 218 00:17:41,581 --> 00:17:46,101 In fact, I swear he's stuck a couple of inches on since I met him. 219 00:17:46,141 --> 00:17:49,061 But he's a lovely lad, really. 220 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:52,541 'Sam, I have tried to be patient... 221 00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:57,541 '..but I cannot listen to this excuse of the giant child. 222 00:17:57,581 --> 00:17:59,781 'It is an insult. 223 00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:03,061 'This situation cannot go on, Sam.' 224 00:18:04,101 --> 00:18:06,061 I know. 225 00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,381 Well? 226 00:18:24,421 --> 00:18:26,661 26%. 227 00:18:28,021 --> 00:18:31,061 That is not a pass. I should hope not. 228 00:18:33,341 --> 00:18:36,061 I don't think we have to trouble your father 229 00:18:36,101 --> 00:18:39,141 with the information at this stage. That is a sin. 230 00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:43,981 Andre, the only sin is being born. The rest is decoration. 231 00:18:55,621 --> 00:18:58,581 When will we hear about the examinations? 232 00:18:58,621 --> 00:19:01,061 I would imagine very soon, Boris. 233 00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:05,661 But as you know so well, time is such a nebulous beast. 234 00:19:25,861 --> 00:19:30,061 Who needs a girlfriend when Audrey Hepburn walks the Earth? 235 00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:32,181 No more school, sir. It is over. 236 00:19:34,821 --> 00:19:38,941 Andre, the girl, those half-wit kids, 237 00:19:38,981 --> 00:19:44,541 the examinations, these are all pinpricks on life's tapestry. 238 00:19:44,581 --> 00:19:47,141 But school is your way out of here. 239 00:19:47,181 --> 00:19:48,581 Your way to... 240 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,541 Probably not, you know, Hepburn herself 241 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:55,021 but something certainly in the Hepburn area. 242 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,941 It is over. 243 00:19:59,821 --> 00:20:02,021 -Andre. -Yes, sir? 244 00:20:03,061 --> 00:20:07,301 I have a job for you but I'm not sure you will want to do it 245 00:20:07,341 --> 00:20:11,461 because this is a job only for the very bravest of men. 246 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,221 What is the job? 247 00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:16,341 The job is killing Nazis. 248 00:20:19,741 --> 00:20:21,941 IN GERMAN: 249 00:20:45,301 --> 00:20:47,541 Oh, you clever boy. 250 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:49,141 TWIG SNAPS 251 00:20:51,741 --> 00:20:53,981 Oh, sweet Jesus! 252 00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:58,061 I am so sorry, sir. Never apologise to a Nazi. 253 00:20:58,101 --> 00:21:00,621 Never. That's the first rule. 254 00:21:05,101 --> 00:21:07,181 The war, was it scary? 255 00:21:08,261 --> 00:21:10,301 Life is scary, is it not? 256 00:21:10,341 --> 00:21:12,061 Yes, sir. 257 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:20,661 But you have a bravery about you, Andre, that puts me to shame. 258 00:21:21,701 --> 00:21:23,541 Thank you, sir. 259 00:21:25,381 --> 00:21:27,781 You'll be OK, Andre. 260 00:21:27,821 --> 00:21:30,061 You'll be just fine. 261 00:21:38,941 --> 00:21:41,141 We had to kill some Nazis. 262 00:21:41,181 --> 00:21:42,741 Nazis? 263 00:21:42,781 --> 00:21:44,941 A few stragglers. 264 00:21:49,381 --> 00:21:51,541 He is all yours now. 265 00:22:42,181 --> 00:22:45,781 I'm sorry, sir. It took a little longer than we planned. 266 00:22:45,821 --> 00:22:50,061 That's OK, Boris. It would have been grossly unfair to expect you to 267 00:22:50,101 --> 00:22:54,061 predict the intensity of the sheep and the odd tidal movement. 268 00:22:54,101 --> 00:22:58,021 No, sir, these are...force majeure. 269 00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:05,301 And if it hadn't taken so long, I might never have met Andre. 270 00:23:10,821 --> 00:23:13,981 My friend, one day you will see that I was right. 271 00:23:15,021 --> 00:23:16,541 Maybe. 272 00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:57,501 Subtitles by Ericsson 273 00:23:57,541 --> 00:24:00,061 accessiblecustomerservice@sky.uk