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- Hi, how ya doin'?
I'm Andy and right now,
I'm being kidnapped by this total jerk!
- You're my winning lotto ticket, you little rat.
No little girl is gonna keep me from my millions.
- Okay, hold this thought.
We'll get back to my kidnapping later.
And I know what you're thinking,
how can you understand me?
Well, stuff like that happens sometimes.
Call it magic, call it whimsy.
I call it normal 'cause we animals talk all the time.
You people simply just don't wanna listen.
But let's back up a few days ago.
Meet little Lily Mason, she's my best friend.
A few days ago, she made a wish that changed everything.
- Nice day to play outside, right, Andy?
Hi, bird!
Hi, Mr. Tree!
- Okay, okay, why don't we back it up a little bit?
Before this entire wish thing happened.
First, I'd like you to meet Lily's family.
- How's your coffee, hun?
- That's Mely, she's Lily's super cool mom.
- Uh, oh, it's, mm.
Great, thanks, dear.
- Oh, this guy here is Bob.
He's Lily's dad, he works a lot.
Yeah, he does whatever it is that those big humans do
when they're not home eating.
- Hey, princess.
- That's Tina, Lily's funny, older sister.
She likes boys and pop music.
- Hey, Daddy.
- She's also a great belly-rubber.
Okay, just a little belly rub.
Maybe a little bit under the chin would be nice, too.
I'm just gonna kick my foot.
- Sit, Tina, breakfast. - I'm fasting, Mom.
- You can fast later.
I made eggs and you're eating.
- I have to lose five pounds before the league tryouts.
- No, you don't.
- You're perfect the way you are.
- You say that 'cause it's true.
- Bob, would you call off your critter please?
He always hisses at me when I'm cooking.
- Whiskers, cut it out!
- That's Whiskers, Bob's pet from the old days.
Whiskers has serious issues, mainly with me,
but we'll talk more about that later.
- Lily, honey, breakfast! - Coming, Mom!
Bye, bird, bye, Mr. Tree!
Boy, I sure wish you could all talk.
- And that's where the magic begins, with a wish.
As you probably guessed,
I'm the family hedgehog, name's Andy.
No last name, just Andy.
- Hey, kid.
- Hi, where did you come from?
- The bushes, step in.
- Wait, where are we?
- In Fairyland, and be careful what you wish for.
- What?
- Be careful what you wish for.
It's a famous saying like you better watch out,
you better not cry, you better not pout,
I'm telling you why. - That's a Santa song.
- Oh, right, anyways.
- Who are you? - That's a good question.
I'm someone who can grant a wish for you.
- You can? - Yep, that's what I do.
- Wow, I'm Lily! - I know.
- You do? - Yep.
I'm your Fairy BFF.
I know all about you and Andy, too.
- Wow, I have a Fairy BFF?
- So, your wish, Lily.
- Well, it's a big one.
- I hope so, this is my first big job.
I gotta do it good for the boss.
So tell me, girl!
- I wish all my friends could talk.
- Okay, that sounds pretty easy.
You're a little girl, so Iguess all your friends can talk.
- No, I mean my other friends,
like the birds and flowers and Andy.
- Hm, talking flowers, birds, and animals.
I think I can do that. - Really?
- Yeah, all things growing, chirping, or squeaking,
get ready to do serious people speaking!
- And that was it.
With those magical words, I was able to speak.
Of course, so was Whiskers, ugh.
But more on that later.
- Okay, done deal, Lily. - Really?
Andy, it really worked!
- I guess it does, Lily.
- Andy? - That's my name, kiddo.
Don't wear it out.
- We can finally talk to each other,
but your lips aren't moving.
- Well, why should they?
A lot of people's lips move,but they don't really say much.
- Smart little fella.
- Oh, thanks, funny-looking little fairy chick.
I get that a lot.
- Thank you, Fairy BFF. - Muah!
- And can all my friends hear Andy, too?
- If you want them to.
Do I rock or what?
- Lily, sweetheart, come on in now.
- Coming, Mom!
Come on, Andy.
- Hey, I just work here, kid.
You're driving.
- I still can't believe you can talk!
- Miracles happen everyday, Lily.
Oh, no.
- What is it?
- This means that Whiskers will be able to talk.
Oh, good grief! - Come on, he's not so bad.
He's just kinda old, that's all.
- He doesn't like me.
- Don't be silly. - No, trust me.
He has hedgehog envy.
- What? - Never mind.
- Oh, hi, boss!
- Missy, do you realize what you've just done?
- I did my job, I granted a wish.
- You violated a 31A Directive
that forbids us from allowing flowers, animals, or birds
to talk to people.
Didn't you get that in your training?
- Um, no, maybe I was out sick that day?
- Missy, what am I gonna do with you?
- Oh, please don't turn me into a toad again!
Last time, ribbit.
You have no idea how that stings!
- You should have called in for a Fairy Lifeline.
Instead, you just cast your spell all willy-nilly.
- Well, I am a Fairy BFF
and it's kind of a job description.
- You have no idea of the problems you've caused.
- Oh, don't be so negative, boss.
The kid is happy and the world is unicorns and rainbows.
- You are so young.
- I had no idea how many problems
this would cause either.
But the big fairy was right
'cause that's when the bad guys showed up.
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!
- You big dummy, what's the matter you?
- I'm sorry, you scared me.
- I don't know why I bring you out on these jobs.
- Oh, because we're best buddies.
- Wrong!
- Oh, because I'm a good gardener.
- Wrong, again.
- I don't know, why?
- I don't know and it worries me.
- I mean, just have a look at this guy.
You can tell that he's up to no good.
The fat one's not so bad though.
I like him, he's funny.
- Look at this!
I'm gonna be itching until night and everything.
- Come on, Roller.
- Oh, hey, I forgot!
Hey, dummy, get a load of this.
It's a contest. - A contest for what?
- To find the weirdest thing you can in your home
and put it on the internet.
- Wow! - Wow is right.
And you are gonna help me win.
- I am?
- How? - Just by being you.
- Just by being...
I don't get it. - You know, your talent.
- Oh, gee, Roller .
I don't want the world to see that.
It's embarrassing. - Come on!
You do it all the time down at the bar.
- Yeah, but that's for the guys.
- Look, the winner of this contest wins $10,000!
That's like
$3,000 each! - Oh, where do I sign?
- Yeah, that's the spirit. - Yeah.
- Okay, let's practice. - Yeah.
- Are you ready?
- Ready! - Okay.
- Hey, you guys, Andy can talk now.
- Sure he can, brat. - No, really!
Go ahead, Andy, say something.
Go on, Andy, say something.
- Breakfast is on the table, honey.
- Come on, don't be like that.
He's just being shy.
- Of course, he is, dear.
That's what hedgehogs do, I guess.
Okay, uh, I gotta go.
Honey, where's my briefcase?
- In the living room, hun.
- Yeah.
- I'll get it.
- Hey. - That's Trixie.
She's Tina's cheer-mate and best friend.
She's really nice, but I'll be honest with you,
she's not that smart. - Hey, Trixie.
Come on in.
- Trixie, did you eat yet?
- No, I'm fasting. - Oh, right, league finals.
- See, Mom?
- Doggone it, Whiskers, stop it!
Lily, now, what's wrong with her today?
- The same thing that's always been wrong with her.
She lives in her own la la land.
- That must be nice.
- Oh, don't worry, honey.
You do, too. - Really?
Is it 'cause I'm dumb?
- Okay, you ready? - Yeah, boss.
- Let's go. - Come on, Roller.
- Okay, we got to get up here and clean the gutter, okay?
- Yes, sir. - Easy, easy, easy.
Use your height.
Oh,
Okay, be careful, we don't want to break the window.
Ah, I'll hold this, you step back here.
- Okay. - We got to do this and that.
Okay, are you ready? - Yes, sir.
- Okay, now we have to try to stand it up
and not to break anything.
I don't wanna have to pay, okay?
It's heavy. - Look, at these two bozos.
I could set up a ladder and I'm only three inches long.
- Okay, what's going on?
- I can't talk in front of anyone else, Lily?
- Why not, that was my wish?
- I know, but-- - But what?
- Because, little Lily,
a hedgehog knows that if folks get wind of a talking animal,
only trouble is gonna come from it.
- That's silly, no one will care.
- No one will care, she says.
I'm an old animal, child.
Believe me, if any of these humans saw me
or that walking little porcupine talking,
there'd be some serious trouble!
- That, I don't believe it and I'll prove it to you.
Hey, Tina, Trixie!
- Maybe we should fold it first, get it up here,
and then open it up and put it up.
- I was thinking the same thing.
- Sure, okay, let's go back here.
- How'd you know?
- Put it down like this and like that.
- That's why you're the brains of this operation.
- Okay, now, bring this end in.
Okay.
Now, we got to get this up there.
Oh, wait a minute, this is backwards.
Grab that end.
You ready? - I'm ready.
- Turn. - Turning.
- Okay, turn. - I'm turning.
Gosh, yeah. - Okay, stop.
I said, okay! - Okay, okay.
- The other way. - Oh, okay.
- Okay, set it down straight. - I'm listening.
- What's the matter you? - How's that?
- Watch your toe, monkey.
It's very hard to get good help.
- What do you want, munchkin?
- I want you to see something.
- Lily, I see Andy and Whisker every day, okay?
- Not like this, come on in.
- Why?
- So you can hear Andy and Whiskers talk.
- Space cadet . - Like really talk?
Like, can they actually talk?
- Trixie! - I wanna see.
Can you actually talk, little rat?
- I'm a hedgehog, sweetheart, not a rat.
- Oh, my God! - That is so bomb!
I can't believe he can really talk.
- Told you! - Okay.
I need you to hold the ladder
while I go up there and clean the gutter.
I think I can reach it.
Now, don't let go.
I don't have good health insurance, okay?
All right, Bubba.
Stay attentive, pay attention.
- Oh, a birdie!
Hi, birdie!
- Do it again, Andy.
- Lily, I'm in a pretty strong
bargaining position here. - What?
- If I talk, will you do me a favor?
- Sure, we're pals, right? - Right.
- So what do you want, Andy?
- I'd like to go wander around for a bit.
See the sights, I don't know.
Maybe even take in the backyard.
- I understand, okay, deal.
- Wanna rub my belly, Tina? - Oh, my God!
- Bubba. - Roller!
- Help me, Bubba! - Gee, Roller, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Come on, get outta there!
- Bubba, get off of me! - Gee, Roller, I'm sorry.
I couldn't hold the ladder still.
- Andy, are you, have you been possessed
by an alien or something?
- No.
I'm still the same lovable Andy
that you belly rub for world peace.
- Now do you believe me?
- I believe you, baby girl.
I just don't get it.
I mean, this is bigger than we landed on the moon.
- I don't remember landing on the moon .
- Now you've done it.
You'll see what this leads to, you little rat.
- You guys are going to be famous.
- Really, is that good?
- No, it isn't.
- Sure, why not? - Wow!
This is so big!
I gotta text Tori. - Why?
- She is super smart and our team captain.
She'll know what to do.
- We are going to be rich, Bubba!
- How? - I just have to figure out
a way to get inside and get my hands on that little rat.
- On what rat?
- Mr. Roller, Bubba, are you okay?
- Aw, yes, ma'am.
We are fine.
Just a little fall
We'll finish up here and then we'll be inside,
so we can do our termite inspection inside.
- Termite inspection?
- It's our weekly special, I wanted to surprise you.
- Well, okay, I don't think we have any termites,
but you guys are experts, right?
- We are experts.
- Okay. - Mely really wasn't
so sure about them,
but she did let them into the house
and that's where the real trouble started.
But first we're gonna meet Tori, the cheerleader captain.
- Okay, I'm here and I'd better see a talking pet.
This better be good.
- Bye, honey!
No!
- Oh, hi, Mr. Mason. - Hiya, Trixie.
- Oh, no, I'm Tori.
Trixie's my dummy cheer-mate.
- Oh, right. - Yeah.
- All right, well, have a greatday at school then, Terry.
- Oh, okay, thanks.
Bye, don't work too hard, Mr. Mason!
Bye!
Fox.
Dang.
- Okay, so you sit downstairs
with the wife and distract her.
I'll go upstairs and get that little rat and--
- You all right there, guys? - Oh!
- Yeah, hi. - Hi, sir.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Are you off to work? - No, vacation, Hawaii.
Yeah, I'm off to work, yeah.
And to get there, I gotta go in that car door right there.
- Oh, yes, sir. - Yeah.
- Bubba, you're in the man's way.
Move. - I'm sorry, sorry.
- Yeah. - I'm sorry about him.
Bubba is not that smart, okay?
- Okay. - All right.
Okay. - You just go here.
I'll go in. - Okay, yeah.
Arrivederci! - Okay, ciao!
- Bon voyage! - Bye-bye.
- Let's go.
- Hi, Tori, the girls are upstairs.
You guys better hurry soyou're not late for first hour.
- Don't worry about it, Mrs. Mason.
I'll heard the girls out super fast.
- Now I know why you're captain of the team.
- It's all about being in control
and never losing your cool.
I'm thinking of writing a book.
It would really benefit women like you.
- Go upstairs, Tori.
- Okay, what is this crap about talking pets?
- Hey, watch the language there, sugar lips.
- Oh, gosh, the hedgehog killed her.
It'll look good on social media though.
Selfie.
- She's not dead, Trixie.
- Lily, I kept my bargain with you.
Could I go wander around on my own now?
- Do you even have the slightest idea
what a dangerous world it is out there?
- Sure I do.
Wait, what do you mean?
- What I mean, hedgehog,
is there are things outside that want to eat you.
- What, is that true?
- You kept your word to me, Andy.
- Okay, little cheerleader,
you're kind of layin' in the middle of my floor here.
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna have to climb up and over you.
Don't wake up please 'cause that would really scare me.
- Enjoy your freedom while it lasts.
- Why does Daddy keep that mean old Mr. Whiskers?
I like him even less now that he talks.
- He's just old, that's all.
He's grump.
- I'm free, I'm free.
I'm actually walking around all on my own.
I don't have anybody carrying me.
I don't have anybody watching me.
I don't have any responsibilities.
I don't have any plans.
I've got my entire life in front of me.
I've got stairs; I didn't think about stairs.
Okay, I'm just gonna peak my head over the edge here.
I'm just gonna peak my head.
Oh, wait, wait, ah!
Okay, that was one stair.
How many more stairs does this house have?
- What's your scam, boys?
- Fantastico.
- The animal talked!
- And I asked you a question.
What do you guys want 'cause you look shifty,
and I like that about you.
- We need ourselves a talking animal.
- Well, there's plenty of those around here.
- I noticed that.
Grab him! - You touch me
and I'll never talk again!
The whole world will laugh at you
and call you a couple of dummies.
Now, what if I told you two boneheads
that I could get you a cute little hedgehog
that never shuts up?
- I'd say that sounds like a pretty good deal.
We'll make it worth your while.
Of that, I'm sure.
- Wow, sure is nice out here today.
Cool breeze, autumn; I've always cared for autumn.
Oh, hi there, Mr. Bird.
How are you?
- Lookin' good, little hedgehog.
- And plants, you can talk, too.
- We sure can, Andy.
- There's a lotta good stuff to sniff out here.
I've never really noticed it before.
A lotta good places to pee, too.
Whiskers doesn't know what he's talkin' about.
He's just old and, wait a second, is that milk?
Did Lily put out milk for me?
It is, I love milk!
Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk.
This is a nice little flower.
Lily likes flowers.
I think I'd like to bring this flower home for her.
Oh, wait a second.
Actually, it's kind of makin' my face itch.
Oh, okay, ah, oh, that's nice, that's better.
What should I do next?
Hey, I wonder if my friend Mike
wants to come over for some milk?
I love milk, I'll bet Mike would like milk, too.
- Andy, my knees are actin' up.
My tendonitis is actin' up.
These veterinarians, man,
they don't know what they're talkin' about.
- Mike, for crying out loud, just drink milk.
Ugh, I had to send Mike home.
That guy was a major downer.
I'm gotta tell ya,
I think I liked him a lot better before he could talk.
Oh, look at this, too.
Bob was out here grillin' a week ago.
He dropped a piece of sausage, it's delicious!
I'll bet if Mike were here,
he'd be complaining that it's just turkey sausage.
Hm, I love it.
Sausage, sausage, sausage.
Ooh, what's that guy over there?
Uh-oh, wait a minute.
Is that a dog?
Stay very still, he doesn't see me.
He does, he sees me!
Run, scramble, run!
I can't, my legs are too small.
He's coming very, very fast.
He's a very fast dog, ball up.
Get in the ball, get in the ball!
Is he gone, is the dog gone?
Will somebody talk to me?
I've been rolled up like this for an hour now.
Wow, I'm exhausted.
Being outside is really tiring.
Maybe I'll just have a little nap on this rock here.
- Okay, you two bozos,
I want 20% of the take and points on the backend.
- Net of the cost.
- Do I look like a jerk to you?
Heck no, gross. - That's robbery!
- Well, what do ya say, shorty?
Do you wanna talkin' hedgehog or not?
- Hmm. - He's got a point.
- Deal.
- Back already, Andy? - Yeah.
- Did you have fun?
- Fun really isn't the word that I'd be lookin' for.
- Girls, this is amazing, a talking hedgehog!
- I know, it's so fetch.
- Trixie, fetch is so Mean Girls.
Find another catchphrase. - Okay .
- You look out of breath, Andy.
- I had a dog issue.
- We have to get that rat today.
- Yeah, but he's awful cute, ain't he?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's cute, but he ain't dumb.
This operation needs to be handled delicately.
- Do you have a plan?
- Okay, girls, we've got to exploit him.
- Exploit him, you mean like blow him up?
- No, honey, I mean,
we have to show the world what Andy can do.
- Oh. - How?
- And why? - So that we can become famous
and meet the Kardashians.
- I don't know, guys. - Don't worry.
Andy won't get hurt.
In fact, he may even get a girlfriend.
- A girlfriend? - Yeah, you like that?
- Can I eat it? - No .
A girlfriend is like a mate.
- What can I do with a mate?
- You'll figure it out.
- Don't worry, Andy, I'd just go for the food.
- Listen, all I'm saying is that we show Andy off
at the science fair.
- But I was supposed to be the science project!
You promised! - Honey, we were gonna
show them why you're the perfect candidate
for a brain transplant.
- Yeah, and you're sure that's better than Andy talking?
- I don't know, maybe.
Wait, how come I'm the perfect candidate
for a brain transmission thing?
- I think we should get Andy's opinion on this.
- I don't know.
I mean, I guess if it doesn't hurt
and you guys are down with it, then okay.
- That a piggy!
- Yay! - Double yay!
- Okay, everyone out of here fast.
- What's going on?
- Emergency termite inspection.
This room is full of bugs.
- Termites? - Ew, no, no, no.
- Sorry, kiddo, you can leave him here.
He'll be safe. - Okay.
Gotta go to school, anyway.
Bye, Andy, see ya later.
- Ciao.
- Hello, hedgehog.
- But there aren't any termites
in this place, Whiskers.
- I don't know about that, Andy.
- I smell a rat and it's you!
- Now, would I do anything dishonest?
- Does a dog love peanut butter?
- You're a smart little rodent
and that's why you're gonna make us rich.
- Gee, Roller, he doesn't look too happy.
- He's a rat, Bubba, happy-shmappy.
Give him a cracker, he'll be happy.
Now, come here. - And the next thing you know,
I was being stolen by bad guys.
- What's goin' on with those girls?
- Termites. - Oh, my gosh.
We have them after all, don't we?
- I guess, that's what Mr. Roller says.
- Well, get your things, honey.
I'll have to drive you to school now.
- Okay.
- Okay, the coast is clear. - Now what?
- Now, we need to find a video camera
so we can record him. - Hey, morons.
We've got smartphones now, 21st century stuff.
You can film the hedgehog on the phone!
- That's a good idea.
Wait!
Oh, what's he doing back here?
- He's always forgetting somethin'.
Okay, okay, quickly get the hedgehog back upstairs.
Get up, fat boy; move, move, move!
- No, Jerry.
No, of course, I don't like the deal.
Tom is a great quarterback.
He's worth more than 5.6.
He's first-ballot Hall of Fame no doubt.
Right, well, let's get it up front.
Sure, if Bill will present it for us, that's great.
He's gonna play well.
No, they want long-term.
And that money needs to be guaranteed.
Hey, Whiskers. - Hey, Bob.
You forget somethin'?
- Excuse me? - I asked you
if you forgot anything. - Yeah.
Jerry, I'm gonna have to call you back .
'Scuse me, are you actually talking?
- Yeah, I am talkin'.
- Okay, yep, I'm havin' a nervous breakdown.
- You're not, it's just one of those crazy days.
- Mely's right, I've been workin' too much.
I am seeing and hearing things.
- Why don't you sit down, have a drink?
You can pour me one, too, ha!
- No, no, I think I'm just gonna go lie down somewhere.
- Get back here, you little rat.
- What was that? - Termites.
- That sounded like a lot more than termites.
Careful there, Whiskers. - You got it, Bob.
- And he's still talking.
I need to sleep.
- That doggone rat got away.
- Anybody up there? - Hide, dummy, hide.
- Andy, what are you doin' outta your cage?
- I've been dealin' with a few problems, Bob.
No worries.
- And you're talking, too.
Hm, yep, I am losing my mind.
- You okay, Bob?
You've got a funny look on your fact.
- I'm fine, Andy.
I am just going insane.
How about we go have a little lie-down?
What do ya say?
Yeah, okay.
- Sorry I'm talking, Bob.
I had nothing to do with it.
- Meh, sure ya didn't, Andy.
- You believe me? - Of course, I believe you.
Because I'm losing my mind
and you are part of my mental disintegration.
By all means, please keep talking.
I'm almost getting used to it.
- Oh, okay then. - Mm-hmm.
Do you talk too, creepy little doll?
- See what you've done?
Bob thinks he's going crazy.
- And that's my fault? - Well, who else?
Little Lily wants her animals to talk to people
and now everything's goin' crazy.
- How can I fix this? - That's your problem,
but you better think of somethin' quick or.
- Or what?
- Get used to life on a lily pad.
- No! - Hm, I need coffee.
- And now I'm hearing voices.
That's my favorite part.
I love the look on the fat one's face
when Bob sits on him.
Whiskers, can we play it again?
- No! - Oh, come on, please?
- Oh, fine.
- Yep, hearin' voices everywhere, Andy.
I think I need a lie-down.
What do ya say, buddy?
Let's go have a little snuggle in my room?
All right.
- Idiots, I can't work under these conditions!
- Lily, in here!
Lily, listen, we got a problem.
- The bathroom transports me to Fairyland?
- It's a bathroom, all girls gossip in the bathroom.
It's a well-known fact.
- Okay, what's wrong? - Everything, look!
- Mely always told me this was gonna happen one day.
That day is today, Andy.
Major mental meltdown.
You know, Andy, when I was young,
I used to be a heck of a football player.
I was All-Conference, All-State.
I thought I was invincible, you know?
I thought I could do anything.
Never thought about growin' old.
Never thought about days like today.
I mean, how could I?
You know, you and me talkin'?
Yeah, I used to think I could do anything.
Make the big play, the touchdown,
the game-saving tackle
Now I don't feel like I could really do anything, nothing.
- You can still do anything, Bob.
You can still make thattackle, if you believe you can.
- How'd you get so smart, Andy?
You're a hedgehog.
- I don't know.
I guess it came with the magic wish.
- That's nice, Andy, I like when you cuddle like that.
- I like you, too, Bob.
- So you gotta fix this, Lily.
I'm sorry. - But I love my wish,
and it's not that big of a deal.
- That's where you're wrong.
A lot's going down because of me.
- But, no, I'm not gonna change my wish.
- You don't have to change your wish.
You just have to wish another wish
so it reverses the original wish.
- But what if I don't want another wish?
Andy and I can finally talk now.
He's the only one that understands me.
- I know what it feels like to be misunderstood.
- You do? - Big time.
Will you at least think about making another wish, please?
- But what if I don't want another wish?
- Then your Fairy BFF is gonna be turned
into a toad forever and ever.
- I don't get it. - Just think about it, okay?
- Okay, I'll think about it.
- Who are you talking to?
- Excuse me, Ms. Hobbonnet?
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Koogan.
I didn't see you come in my classroom.
Can I help you with something?
- You look very nice today, Ms. Hobbonnet.
- Thank you, I got a new dress.
Do you like it? - Very nice.
- Poor Mr. Koogan and Ms. Habanero.
- Sweetheart, it's Hobbonnet.
And, yeah, they're crazy about each other,
but they don't do anything about it.
- Mr. Koogan is helpless.
- That's the bell. - Yes.
- Do you think you should get to your classroom?
- Yes, yes, of course.
- Good morning, class.
I just wanted to remind you before we get started
that science fair competition is gonna be
in two days in the cafeteria.
I'm looking forward to a very exciting presentation.
- Where did Andy go?
- He's gonna get himself into trouble.
- Hey, guys.
- There you are, Andy.
- Andy, what have you been up to all day?
- Oh, Lily, it's been a little bit crazy.
- What kind of crazy? - Dogs, Whiskers, bad guys,
and your dad thinks that he's going crazy himself.
- I know, I saw.
- You saw, how could you see from school?
- How can you talk? - Fair question.
- How did that get there?
How would you like to meet me in a
- Dad, why aren't you at work?
- Work?
Cartoons, potato chips.
- What, Daddy, are you okay? - I'm fine.
I got caught up on the duck and the pig
and the two guys that go boom to each other.
Hey, Andy. - Hey, Bob.
You get any sleep? - Uh-huh, a little bit.
Still talking, I see.
- Yeah, it's sort of what I do now.
- Mm-hmm, m'kay, well, have at it.
Try not to scare the wife.
- I'll been real careful about that.
Thanks, Bob.
- Okay .
- Lily, sweetheart,
I think Daddy's having a nervous meltdown.
- I think he's been watching too much silly TV.
- No, I don't think so.
- Sportsmanship. - What's the matter?
- Bob, what are you doing here?
- I live here. - No.
I meant why aren't you at the office?
You've got that big buyout today
with that young quarterback.
- I love potato chips, love them.
Cartoons, too .
So you still talkin', huh?
Are you still talkin', you furry little thing?
I'm losin' my mind.
I am, I'm goin' crazy. - I knew it!
All those hours you've been putting in,
skipping breakfast has put you into this state.
- No, I'm fine, honey.
Wanna chip, woof?
- Bob, you're barking.
Stop it.
Bob, talk to me.
No, Bob, talk to me, dear.
Don't bark.
Stop it!
Roll over.
- Here, rub my ear right here behind me.
Do it, do it, yeah! - Oh, my gosh.
- Good . - He's crazy, he's crazy.
- Calm down, Mely.
It's no big deal.
- How would you know, Whiskers?
He's talking, no, barking like...
Excuse me, did you just talk?
- I'm afraid so, sweetheart.
It's what I've been doing lately.
- There ya go, my own wife's crazy, too.
She hears the animals talking .
- I think I'm going to faint.
- Please don't do that, Melissa.
The children. - Right, the children.
Oh, my gosh, they can't find about you talking, Whiskers.
And how is it you can talk, anyway?
- It's a bit of a long story.
- Indulge me.
- Do you want the unvarnished truth
or the sugarcoated version?
- Please just tell me how you can talk, my little friend.
- I'm a victim of dark magic by a fairy.
Little Lily wished rather recklessly
for us to be able to talk.
And she said it was okay if folks like you heard, too.
- Folks like us? - Grown-ups.
- Oh, dark magic, that sounds horrible.
Is it too late to get it sugarcoated?
- Ya just heard the sugarcoated version.
- Oh my, oh, what are we going to do, the children!
- The children are fine, Mommy.
- We know all about our talking pets.
I know it's weird.
- Weird? No.
Professional wrestling is weird.
Talking animals is just nuts.
- I couldn't agree any more, Mrs. Mason.
- What, you, too? - Afraid so.
- I think I need to lie down.
- Mm-mm, won't work, I tried that.
- Is it too early to drink?
- Now you're talkin'. - No.
No one is starting to drink.
Okay, it's not that big of a deal.
- No, sure, it's absolutely fine.
Animals talking, no big deal at all.
- Hey, don't forget about us.
- Plants, too?
- The talking plants really put Bob over the edge.
He went right back to cartoons and potato chips.
Meanwhile, our two bumbling bad guys
were listening the whole time and forming a plan.
- We have to get that little rat tomorrow.
We can't mess up. - Yeah!
But now that the mom and dad knows about him,
it's gonna be hard for us to get our hands on him.
- We'll think of something.
- No, you mean thatWhiskers'll think of somethin'.
- That's what I meant.
Your garage door opener is working fine, Mrs. Mason.
Get off of me, Bubba. - I'm sorry!
- Now, our story goes to later that night.
- Time for bed, honey. - Okay, Mom.
Wanna go back in your cage, Andy?
- Well, if it's okay,
I'll just stay right here in this nice, warm bed.
- Bob, go to bed.
He's not adjusting to this very well.
- Don't sweat it, Mrs. Mason.
It's kinda magical, ya know?
And, Bob, well, he's more of a logical fella.
- That he is.
Sleep tight, baby. - Night, Mom.
- Goodnight, Melissa. - Oh, by the way,
where's Whiskers? - Oh, yeah, Whiskers.
I saw him slummin' it around Tina's room.
They're in there watching some dance video.
- Oh, that old lecherous critter.
Why I should tell your father.
- Mom, he's just lonely.
Whiskers isn't really bad.
- You wanna bet? - Hush, Andy!
That's not nice.
- We'll talk about this tomorrow.
- I love you, Andy.
- I love you, too, Lily.
Sleep well, I'm just gonna take a little stroll.
Stretch my legs a bit, maybe use the bathroom.
But I'll come right back here to sleep, I promise.
- You hit Colleen's car. - Yeah.
Yes, I most definitely hit it. - Was she upset?
- Not mad, but just. - Oh, no--
- This is a brand new car
and my husband is going to be so upset.
- Oh, she told you that? - Oh, no.
- Yeah, I was like oh, god. - Oh, no.
- I feel kinda bad, guys.
- Why, 'cause you hit her car?
- Yeah, yeah, but not that, right now, anyway.
'Cause Mr. Koogan and Ms. Hum, Habanero?
- Close enough. - Anyway.
They're like in love, you know?
I don't know. - Well, yeah.
But they're too chicken to do anything about it.
- Yeah, our chicken teachers
will hardly even talk to each other
and I've personally tried my best.
- Yeah, well, it wasn't enough.
- You humans, you know nothing about love.
- And you do? - Yeah, how could you,
Mr. Furry Thing?
- I know what it's like to love.
A long time ago, I had someone.
Oh, you think it's not possible.
I was young, powerful, slick, tomcatting around .
I ruled that city.
And then, one day, I saw her.
She was beautiful, a vision.
Sorta like you, but a lot smarter.
We did everything together.
You put a bowl of food in front of us,
it didn't matter to me what was in it.
Milk, soup, even water, we lapped it up together.
We cuddled together everyday, playing.
We bought matching leopard skin jackets.
- Ouch.
- One day, she didn't come home.
I got up in the highest tree I could find.
I looked everywhere.
She'd been truckered.
Flattened, smooshed, kaput.
Sooner or later, the truck comes for all of us.
From there on in,
I sat here alone
in a prison of my own thoughts.
Oh, sure I got Bob and Mely and you and Lily
and the little dumb girl here,
but it's not the same.
One day, I'll get truckered, too.
- Gee, Whiskers, you could depress a hyena.
- I didn't even know
you were here, you little rat!
Mind your business! - Okay.
Well, I guess I'm just gonna go to bed then.
Just wanted to say goodnight, guys.
Seems like a good party. - Night.
- Goodnight. - Goodnight.
- Goodnight, Whiskers.
Wait, what're you doing?
- You scared me. - I scared you?
This is our bathroom!
Wait a second, where am I?
- We're in Fairyland.
The bathroom, but Fairyland sounds better.
- Hey, wait a minute.
I know you, you're?
- The one that got you to talk
and the same with the whole other animal kingdom.
- And us, too. - And the flowers.
Listen, I need your help, little guy.
- My help, how could I help you?
- You could convince Lily that you and the animals--
- And the flowers. - And the flowers
can all go back to being just you.
- But I like being able to talk.
I like that people listen to me.
It's nice to be able to communicate.
- I know, it's just that
it's just gonna get us in more trouble
and you don't want that.
Do you, little hedgehog? - No.
- Sometimes you have to take responsibility
and do the things that you don't wanna do,
or don't feel like doing.
Actions have consequences
and I kinda understand that now.
- Wow, that's really deep, especially for you.
- Well, now I'm gonna leave you
with that very grown-up conversation
for you to think about, okay, Andy?
- Okay, it was nice talkin' to you,
funny little fairy chick.
- It was nice talkin' to you, funny little Andy.
- I sorta like the ring of that.
Well, I think I'll go back
because it's almost time for my belly rub.
- Okay, I'm gonna let you down now.
- Good. - Bye, Andy.
- All right.
And just like that, poof, I was back in Lily's bed.
That fairy sure did give me a lot to think about.
Life was so much easier
when I all I worried about were crackers and belly rubs.
Adulting is hard.
Well, goodnight.
- I had the weirdest dream last night.
- Really, dear? - Mm-hmm.
I dreamed that Andy here could talk .
- Morning, Bob. - Morning, Andy.
It wasn't a dream, was it? - Afraid not, dear.
- Honey, do we have more potato chips?
- Kind of early for that before work,
isn't it, sweetheart?
- What's work?
- Your job, you're a sports agent.
Remember? - Ah, right.
- You okay, Bob?
- No, no, Andy, I'm not.
Animals can talk in my house.
- Hey, don't forget about us.
- I'm going back to bed.
- Morning, Mom. - Good morning.
- Hey, someone ate all my potato chips last night.
- Oh, it was probably your father.
He's been on a potato chip binge
ever since our pets acquired the power of speech.
Healthy breakfast, Tina.
- Ma, I'm fasting, remember?
- Oh, the potato chip fast.
- Why the long face, Whiskers?
- The truck is just right around the corner
for all of us.
Sooner or later, none of us escape with our skins.
- What's that about?
- Whiskers just sad is all.
- Lily, breakfast, honey!
- Coming, Mom, just need to use the bathroom first!
- Hey, Lily! - Fairyland again?
- What, you don't like it?
- I do, it's just, well. - What?
- I really need to go to the bathroom.
- Okay, okay, did Andy talk to you last night?
- Yes, and I'm still thinkin' about it.
- Okay, great.
Now, remember, the only way that you could reverse
a talking wish is that you have to wish something good
for someone else, it's a rule.
- I gotta think about that one.
- I'm getting really good at this.
- Fairy BFF? - Yeah.
- I really need to go to the bathroom now!
- Go .
- Good morning, Lily, morning, Andy.
- Hi, Mom, can I take Andy to school with me today?
- Do you really think your teacher
would approve of that, Lily?
- When she sees that Andy can talk,
I'm sure she wouldn't mind.
- Andy, what do you have to say to that?
- Well, if it gets me outta the house,
then, sure, I don't mind a little day trip.
- Okay. - Thanks!
- Lily and I had a long talk that night.
I like talking and I don't wanna give it up,
but I don't want Lily's Fairy BFF to be in trouble either.
We're about to see those mean girls, again.
Remember, kids, it's always best to be nice to them,
even if they're not so nice to you.
- How is little Miss Talk To Herself, today?
- If you mean me, I'm fine, thank you.
- Who's your little friend?
- That's my friend Andy.
- The little crazy girl has a friend?
- Don't do that. - Why not?
He gonna complain? - No.
It's just that you're not very nice
and only my friends get to tap my head.
- Did you just talk?
- I made a declaratory statement of fact, fat Betsy.
You gotta problem with that?
I guess I wasn't very nice.
I should've tried harder.
- Lily, you know
you can't bring pets to class.
- He's not really a pet, Ms. Wilkins.
- No, well, then what is he?
- Remember you talked about kindness
and friendship the other day? - Mm-hmm.
- That a good friend is someone who listens to you
even if you're grump? - Yes, you remembered.
Very good, Lily, but unfortunately,
you still can't bring pets to class.
- He's my best friend in the whole world
and I wanted to bring him to class with me today.
- Well, that's a very lovely thing, Lily,
but you still can't have pets in class.
- Excuse me, ma'am,
but I really think that I'm more than just a pet.
- Oh my.
What in the world? - See, Ms. Wilkin.
- Yes, everyone, I can talk.
I know it's weird, but miracleshappen everyday, right?
- Yes, they do.
I had a pet mouse once and, well, she talked to me.
- See.
- What was your name, again? - Andy, ma'am.
- Pleased to meet you, Andy.
Class, say hello to Andy.
- Hi, Andy!
- Dumb hedgehog.
- Betsy, now that's not nice.
Say you're sorry. - Sorry.
- Betsy, why don't you come over and pet Andy.
He loves belly rubs for world peace.
- You'd let me pet him? - For world peace.
Be nice and, remember, no one is mean
without a simple reason. - Like Whiskers.
- Yep. - All right.
Hey, you're pretty good at petting me.
And this is where Betsy gave me a really good belly rub.
She wasn't mean at all.
She was actually quite the belly-rubber.
World peace, world peace.
- Hi, Mom. - Oh, hi, Lily, hi, Andy.
How was school today? - It was great, Mely.
I mean, really, really great.
I got belly rubs from just about everybody.
- Oh, good for you, Andy. - I mean, from everybody.
- Good.
- Hey, Mely, Mely? - Yeah?
- I also got crackers, lots of crackers.
- Wow. - Hey, speaking of.
Do you have any crackers? - I think we do.
- That'd be nice.
I'm gonna go upstairs and have a little nap.
I think I'll take my crackers upstairs, please.
- Oh, okay, I'll get them right to you.
- Yeah, sounds good.
What are ya cookin' there? - Sushi.
- No, just send the crackers on up please.
You could put a little apple juice in my bowl, too.
- I'll get right on that.
- Okay, today we nab that little rat.
- Try not to mess it up this time, knucklehead.
- What makes you think you're so smart?
- Because I've got some cheerful news.
I know the square root of the hypothenuse.
Do you?
Ha, I didn't think so!
Go get the rat.
- Get up, Bubba, let's go!
- He's still talkin'? - Yes, dear.
- You know that my science show is tomorrow.
- Oh, that's right.
We have to go to that, Bob.
I guess you'll just have to take off time from work.
That is if you're going to even go to work.
- No, I am never ever going to work ever again.
When animals and plants can talk,
my interface with real world officially stops.
Do we have any gummy bears?
- No, no more candy.
You might get fat.
- Aw. - It's okay, Daddy.
You'll be fine. - Yeah, Bob.
Things will be back to normal soon.
- Sure they will, Andy.
Of course, they will.
Can I go back to my room now?
- Sure, Dad. - Thank you.
- Your husband's watching cartoons, again.
- And eating all the potato chips, again.
- Hey, guys, it's not funny.
My dad's losing his mind. - Yeah.
He's lost his marbles.
- Your father will be fine, girls.
He's just not dealing well withthe talking animal dynamic.
- And us, too.
- Or the talking plant thing.
- Okay, we've gotta think about
how we can use Andy for the science project.
- Just have him talk. - No, no.
We need something more.
Something-- - Fantagalistic.
- Trix?
No funky words, okay? - Okay .
- Little dummies right, though.
- And now another round of applause
for Kelly and her volcano.
- Those two are in love. - They are?
- Yeah, but they're too scared to tell each other.
- It's so sadalicious.
Okay, I take it back, I take it back.
- I love you, Andy. - I love you, too, Lily.
And I know what you have to do.
- I wish.
- Friends and family, it is with great pride
that I now move on to the high school section
of our science show.
First up, we have our very own head cheerleader
and homecoming queen, Tori Baxter and her team.
- Our science project is Andy!
No, no, he's not just a hedgehog.
He can actually talk.
Come on, Andy, talk.
No, no, Andy, talk.
- Lily!
- Lily, what happened?
What did you wish for?
- I decided to help out alittle problem they were having.
- That's very kind for both of you.
- You saved me from being toaded, thank you.
- What are friends for, right?
- Come on, you stupid hedgehog, talk!
- And from that point forward,
humans could no longer understand me.
Of course, I could still talk to Whiskers, ugh.
- Why aren't you talking anymore, Andy?
That was so embarrassing!
- Ugh!
- Sorry, girls, another termite attack.
I need you all to leave, please.
- Are you kidding me, Mom? - Ugh!
- Come on, girls!
Aren't you afraid of termites? - Go, go!
- But I don't wanna leave my hedgehog.
- Oh, that's okay, sweetie.
I'll take him downstairs for you.
- Thank you, Mr. Roller. - You're welcome.
You hush.
We need you, you little rat,
and you are gonna help us.
Bubba, check to see that the coast is clear downstairs.
- Gee, Roller, maybe this ain't such a good idea.
That little girl loves that little fella.
- Now, Bubba!
And don't you try anything this time.
- I'm a five inch hedgehog.
What did he think I was gonna try?
Of course, he couldn't understand me.
- Mom, there are bugs crawling everywhere!
- Tina, Mr. Roller is taking care of the termite situation.
- Mrs. Mason, if you can't get your house under control,
I can't live here half the time.
- Potato chips.
You hear that? - Termites.
I'm going to my truck now.
- Idiots, get up!
Grab him, grab the hedgehog!
- Get up, get up! - Hello, idiots!
Hey, why can't they hear me anymore?
- Ow!
- Hey, get back here, you little hedgehog!
I'm gettin' too old for this runnin' nonsense.
Come here, I need to be rich!
Rich, I tell ya!
Catch him, catch him all ready!
He's only got little legs.
- Whiskers, look out! - Come on!
- Truck!
- Oh, I almost got truckered.
Andy, my boy, you saved my life.
- Well, that's what friends do.
Right, Whiskers? - Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
- Get back here, you little rat.
- Hey, let my friend go!
- Gee, Roller, I think we oughta give
the girl back the hedgehog.
She might miss him.
- Nah, no way, let's go!
You're my winning lotto ticket, you little rat.
No little girl is gonna keep me from my millions.
- And here we are,
right back at the very beginningof the story, remember?
I told ya that we'd get here.
- Daddy, Daddy, Mr. Roller's trying to steal Andy!
- Game-saving tackle.
- It sure is a good thing
that Lily has super dad to come rescue me.
- You still got it number seven!
- Yeah, I guess I do .
- Have I always been wearing a cheerleading outfit?
- You have in my mind.
And this is all just a figment of my imagination.
- Well, that's it.
That's the end of the story.
Bob got his confidence back.
The cheerleaders figured they'dmade the entire thing up.
I became friends with Whiskers.
And even though Lily can't hear me anymore,
we're still happy together.
She still gives me crackers and belly rubs,
and that's what really matters.
Hey, hey, wait.
You're fading to black too quick.
Wait, but I got more to say.
Oh, fine, I'm Andy the talking hedgehog saying goodbye.
Whiskers, is it okay if I talk over the credits?
- You talked over the whole darn movie.
What do I care about some credits?
- Okay, thanks!
Whoa, is this one of those Joel Paul Reisig movies?
He's like a really big-time director.
- Big-time?
He's small potatoes, kid.
- Hey, Whiskers, who are these guys?
- I don't remember either one of these bozos.
Now, let's see some actors.
- That's Dean Cain.
He played Superman on TV a long time ago.
He's 50 now, but look at that hairline.
I mean, the guy's still got it.
- Dean who, meh, who cares?
Show me Tara Reid. - She's great.
She's in all of those shark movies that I like.
They're so funny. - I liked her in American Pie.
Hubba, hubba, hubba.
- This was Karina's first movie.
She did really good. - Not bad kid, not bad.
- And Colleen was good, too.
- Hey, where's that cheerleader outfit?
- Whiskers, stop!
Here's our two bad guys, that's Mike and Ernie.
They're actually really nice and really good belly-rubbers.
- Funny guys, funny guys.
- That's Mavin, she's nice,
but not such a great driver.
- Did she really hit Colleen's car?
- Big time, she crashed right into it.
I mean, it was parked and everything,
but, kaboom, right into it!
Oh, I like Keilah.
She says praise Jesus a lot.
I mean, like, a lot.
- Meh, I prefer Allie.
She doesn't take any nonsense.
- Hey, look, Whiskers, it's me!
It says that my voice was done that my producer guy,
Joel Paul Reisig, how exciting!
- Oh, that explains why you sound
like such a whiny little pain in the--
- Look, Whiskers, he played you, too!
- Hey, what in the world?
Are you tellin' me that I've just been
arguing with myself all these years,
like some kinda mental patient?
- I guess that explains
why we're best friends, Whiskers.
- Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
- I knew we were best friends. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I still think the movie shoulda been called
Whiskers The Talking Cat. - I'm cuter.
- I've been in the business longer!
Whiskers, you're funny.
Well, thanks everyone for watching
Andy The Talking Hedghog.