Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
It ain't easy being a snowflake.
You go where the wind takes you.
You aren't sure if you're about to land with some of your pals
or on a pile of salt.
You might be asking, "Is this a story
about the journey of a little snowflake that could?"
No.
This is the story of a girl and her dog.
Jenna got the surprise of her life
when Charlie showed up one magical Christmas.
Robert, Zoe, and Grandpa Peter
couldn't have been happier for Jenna.
Jenna and Charlie were best friends.
Charlie followed Jenna everywhere.
Outside of the rare day of being late for school
Jenna and Charlie had the happiest little life.
Jenna's parents, Robert and Zoe
were inventors together at Pet Wizard.
Charlie got bigger and bigger
helping around the house when he could.
Things couldn't have been better.
One day, suddenly, all that changed.
Zoe got sick and passed away.
And the happy little family seemed to just disappear.
Robert buried himself in his work.
Without Zoe around
Robert's inventions didn't work so well.
Time went on.
And Christmas was eventually forgotten.
Robert and Grandpa Peter had a big fight
and stopped talking.
Charlie tried to write to Grandpa Peter.
Hopefully, he could come around again
and bring Christmas with him.
And maybe he would have.
If it wasn't for any dog's greatest nemesis
the mailman.
♪ Christmas time is here again ♪
♪ And everything feels right ♪
♪ It's hard to sleep tonight ♪
♪ To sleep tonight ♪
♪ Santa's sleigh is on the way ♪
♪ Riding in the sky ♪
♪ He's packed up full of toys ♪
♪ For all the girls and boys ♪
♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
♪ Just feel the magic floating in the air... ♪
Door opening. Watch your fur, gentleman.
Return to sender again?
This has to get to Grandpa Peter.
♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
♪ Just feel the magic... ♪
♪ And just be grateful for this joy ♪
♪ It's the greatest time of year ♪
♪ Just feel the magic floating in the air ♪
♪ And just be thankful... ♪
Oh no, not again.
♪ It's the greatest time of year... ♪
Rise and shine.
♪ Floating in the air ♪
♪ And just be grateful for this joy ♪
Oh no, again.
Come, Charlie.
Dad, I'm late.
Again.
Slept through your alarm again, huh, sweetie? Ow!
The one you said you'd fix last week?
- Mm-hmm. - That hasn't worked ever.
Good morning to you, sweetie.
Did you stay up all night again?
Dad, you were supposed to wake me up.
Uh-huh.
I've been late every day since October.
Are you even listening?
Mm-hmm, sweetie. Did you feed Charlie yet?
Urgh!
What was that about October?
OK, here we go again.
Oh, fire in the hole.
Dog food sequence initiated.
Remember to duck, remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
- Remember to duck! - Must recalibrate.
Three, two, one, go time!
Initiating breakfast sequence.
System fail, system fail, system fail.
Breakfast sequence fail.
Come on, Jenna! You're gonna be late.
Not happy. Disappointed in self.
Computer depressed.
- When do I get my dad back? - I just upgraded it.
Cyber cellular, AR vocabulary, so.
I'm late for school.
If my calculations are correct...
I've decided to drop out, move away
and live on the street.
A working beta prototype by early next Christmas.
The house is on fire.
Which reminds me... you feed Charlie yet?
Sure am gonna miss Christmas this year, Dad.
Have a good day.
Bye, Charlie.
Jenna!
You're gonna be late for school.
Better hurry up!
Ai-ai-ai, dude. Get a grip.
So this Christmas was already looking
about as promising as a fork in a soup-eating contest.
Jenna and Charlie weren't the only ones
trying to get into the Christmas spirit.
Let's take a trip across town.
No, the other way.
No, a right.
No, your other right.
Meet Benny and Lenny.
These two gems may not be able to spell the word "con"
but they seem to be pretty good at it.
OK, "pretty good" might have been a stretch.
OK, functional, barely functional.
Regardless, I wouldn't trust these two
around a blind grandmother.
Can you spare some change?
More on that later.
- Ma'am? - Stop, stop.
Keep going. What's this guy looking at?
This just ain't cuttin' it.
Where you going? Where you going?
I want a hot dog. How much is it for a hot dog?
I don't know. What is that, $1.50, $2?
We got to come up with a bigger plan.
How much is in the can?
Nothing, you see.
We're on a donut ski.
- A what? - Donut ski.
I don't know what that is.
Donut, the big fat donut.
I don't want a donut. I want a hot dog.
How much a hot dog cost?
I said we're on the donut. I didn't say you want a donut.
I'm not on any donut. If I was, I would've eaten it.
Never mind.
Just come up with something better, alright?
This is not cutting it.
What's better than a hot dog? Definitely not a donut.
No, I said donut, that we're on a donut.
We got nothing.
Start thinking about what we're gonna do, alright?
I don't like thinking. It makes my head hurt.
Can't do that.
Hey, hon.
Long day at school?
Why do we have to move, Dad?
You can be an inventor here.
Without leaving all my friends.
You're gonna make new ones.
We're both gonna have to adjust a little bit.
Besides, you got Charlie here to keep you company.
You'll always have me, Jenna.
Hey, what do you say we cheer up Jenna, Charlie?
Yeah...
Hmm?
I have fleas.
What? No, I don't!
Big radioactive fleas.
I don't!
May still have to work out a few bugs, Dad.
Don't you mean fleas?
This whole holiday is infested with fleas.
With the move and everything, we're gonna miss Christmas.
Huh? Who's missing Christmas? We can't miss Christmas.
Whoa, hey, nobody is gonna miss Christmas, OK?
Ever since Mum died...
you don't even call Grandpa anymore.
All you do is work on that hunk of junk.
You're not really in the Christmas spirit this year
are you, Charlie?
Yeah.
I didn't think so.
Maybe we'll some friends for you, too.
I wish you really could talk.
I wish I could help.
♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪
♪ And never brought to mind... ♪
Early Christmas present.
Wow.
- Thanks, Dad. - Yeah, and I pre-programmed
all your friends' numbers in there, so you can stay in touch.
What about Grandpa Peter?
One step at a time.
You know, really am gonna miss this place.
What do you say, Charlie?
Ready to hit the road? Come on, guys.
Well, it was a time for new beginnings.
A new chapter. A fresh start.
A beautiful, uh...
Uh... They're moving.
Charlie tried to cheer Jenna up, but to no avail.
Robert thought singing popular Christmas tunes would help.
He was mistaken.
Home, sweet home.
Well, here we are. What do you think?
It has potential.
Yeah. What do you think, Charlie?
Huh, neighbourhood looks to be in order.
No mailman in sight.
Whoa, definite potential. She's stunning.
Oh no, she's coming this way.
I can't meet her now. I'm not ready.
Think, Charlie, think!
- Hi, there. - Now where did I leave that box?
- Maybe it's over here. - Um, hello?
Ooh, uh, what... what's he doing? Can you hear me?
I know I left it somewhere over here.
Oh hey, Jenna! I'll be right with you.
You must be Robert. I'm Holly.
- Oh, uh, hi. - What's her name?
- Gidget. - Hi, Gidget.
- Hey, girl. - I'm Jenna.
Hi, Jenna. Well, welcome aboard, neighbour.
I've heard a lot about you.
Pet Tech's abuzz with this mystery project
you've been working on.
Oh, um... you work at Pet Tech?
Yup, we all do.
They treat us pretty well.
Pet Tech owns the whole block.
Oh wow, really?
I-I guess it gives new meaning
to bringing your work home with you, huh?
Yeah, it's not so bad. We all get along pretty great.
Well, mostly.
Oh!
Need a hand?
I'm Victor.
The engineer Pet Tech assigned
to your big secret project.
Your second in command. Welcome.
Hi, I was just speaking to, uh...
Holly.
Uh, yeah, Holly.
Talented young lady, hmm.
Talented, talented.
- So talented. - Uh, right.
I got your talent right here!
Can I pet your bulldog?
Oh whoa, whoa, whoa. That's up to Vinnie P.
Put your filthy paws on me, I keep 'em.
Need a hand?
Oh, really, no. I think we got it.
- Some help? - No, it's OK.
How about me and...?
Jenna.
I got plenty of muscle. How about me and Jenna, we, uh...
Whoa, check out those guns!
Ah, yeah.
How about you and I give the old man a hand here?
No, really. I don't want to im...
Come on.
I bet he could lift the whole truck.
He cannot lift the truck!
At least, I don't think so.
Our neighbours sure are friendly.
Maybe things won't be so bad after all.
Hope floats.
Let's get this inside.
Uh...
Um...
OK, OK.
Um, uh, I've just... just got to, just got to get this...
I'm gonna get this box of paper.
And I'll... I'll be right in.
You guys... you guys just go in without me.
Put the... put the kettle on, OK?
Make some toast to the...
You might be asking yourself
"How can someone so completely
lack basic coordination and balance?"
In short
I have no clue.
You might also be wondering
who is this giant, blond tree trunk?
Victor von Manure. Victor seemingly had it all.
A great new house, a job at Pet Tech that he loved
and a beautiful new bride, Brunhilda.
Brunhilda convinced Victor
they should adopt a baby bulldog.
They named him Vinnie Puppy.
No matter how hard Victor tried
he couldn't get his boss, CEO Bill
to move any of his inventions forward.
One day
CEO Bill told him he had big news to share with him.
Victor was ecstatic.
His moment had finally come.
Unfortunately for Victor, the big news was that
he was getting forced out of his big house
and being downsized across the street
so inventor Corwin could move in.
Blinded by rage, Victor did the only thing that made sense.
He booby-trapped the toilet.
Corwin, the inventor at Pet Tech
and new owner of Victor's former house
invited CEO Bill and his wife over for dinner.
Victor's evil plan worked
and Corwin was fired
after the toilet exploded on CEO Bill's wife.
Thrilled that his plan worked
Victor bragged and celebrated with Vinnie.
Brunhilda overheard what happened
and was disgusted with Victor.
Just like that, she left.
Victor and Vinnie weren't the same after that.
Victor and Vinnie bullied everyone they came across.
Vinnie Puppy was gone, and only Vinnie P remained.
Better step in line, mutt.
Pups that don't
don't last very long around here, capisce?
So I think I can handle the
third-person self-indulgence and magnified superiority complex.
But come on, dude. Dogfather?
You really call yourself that?
I don't. They do.
Meet my crew.
Keyword: my crew.
That's two words.
Jose, Bernard, Dozer, Tiny.
And right there, my number one dame Gidget.
Keep your paws off her.
Hola, perro. Is you a city mutt?
Not anymore, apparently.
These are our crew, amigo. The Dogfellas.
Ahem.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, lo siento, sorry, Gidg.
Uh, I apologise.
I mean, not "dogfellas". Dog people.
- Dog friends. - Jose!
You like Christmas time, silly mutt?
Course you do. Tell me you do.
Enough, no more Christmas talk.
OK, OK. I won't make the mistake again.
Thank you for correcting me. I apologise with all my heart.
Hey, everyone home, now!
Adios, amigo. But we will meet again.
Anytime food gets thrown out of a restaurant on a Tuesday.
- I'll be there. - Uh, OK, sure.
Anytime a half-eaten hamburger
gets thrown out a station wagon window
- I'll meet you there. - Jose!
Hopefully, after I've finished the hamburger.
And you have to lick the wrapper.
Um, OK.
- Enough! - Adios, amigo.
By the way, the Dogfather goes where the Dogfather goes.
Su casa es mi casa, capisce?
See you around.
Apologies.
What Vinnie P says usually goes.
He's OK sometimes, but not really.
Yeah. He seems a little...
I smell chili.
Southern bean chili.
Sheesh. This is gonna be one rough Christmas.
Thanks again.
I think you're really gonna like it here.
Lots of memories.
But beware that toilet.
Corwin never got it fixed.
Corwin?
Yeah, the guy who lived here before.
Hope you're a better project manager.
He was sort of, uh, let go.
Oh.
Yeah.
But I have a feeling you and I will get along much better
than he and I did.
Yes, I think so, too.
Yeah.
OK. Lots of boxes.
Thank you.
Holly sure is pretty.
You know what? Let's look at our brand new kitchen.
Do you think she's married?
Ahem. It's bigger than our old kitchen, isn't it?
You should ask her out.
Is that a new coffee maker?
Because I'm pretty sure it looks brand new.
I bet she likes coffee.
You know what? We should probably start unpacking.
Maybe she can help.
Maybe you can help.
What are you so afraid of, Dad?
I'm not afraid of anything. It's just, I've been so
- wrapped up with the project that... - It's always about the project.
it's not about... OK.
It's not about the project. Well, it is about the project.
I mean, sometimes we get distracted...
Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Oh, it's... it's really nothing.
Charlie's gonna be the world's first talking dog.
Whoa, whoa. Now that's something I'd like to see.
Come on now. Sharing is caring, Rob.
- Show him, Dad. - Yeah, show me, Dad.
No, it's just a prototype and not a very good one.
Do pray tell.
Well, it's a device that sits on a dog's collar.
And it picks up vibrations like... like barking.
Or whining or growling.
Minute variations in depth, tone, pitch and volume.
Hopefully, when it's all done
it will decipher a dog's thoughts into uh, uh, uh...
Words?
Words.
A canine translator! That's brilliant.
Precisely.
When can I see it?
When it's ready.
Uh-oh.
I'll hold you to that, Robert.
Come on, Vin. Let's go.
Let's blow this pupsicle stand.
But don't get too settled.
We have vacation to think about.
Vacation?
Yeah. Big Bear Ski Lodge.
Yearly company shindig. Everyone's going.
- Um... - Big Bear?
- I don't... - Dad!
Come on.
We were hoping to have a nice quiet family Christmas at home.
You're not gonna do that to her, are ya?
Oh, he's good.
Awfully tough on a young girl alone in a strange new town
during Christmas.
Now come on, you got to go. It'll be fun.
Plus you really got to meet everyone.
CEO Bill will be there, too.
Yeah, he called me personally. Told me to invite you.
Oh.
Sorry he couldn't call you directly.
Actually I spoke to Bill the other day.
He talked at length about snow shoes.
He went on and on.
But the problem is we don't have anyone to watch Charlie.
So...
Covered. Sweet young girl named Michelle
takes care of the dogs while we're gone.
Oh.
Please, Dad.
OK, fine.
Yes! Start packing.
Come on, Vinnie.
I think we need a new tree.
What do you mean? What's wrong with the tree we got?
Somebody help me. I'm falling!
Yeah, we need a new tree.
So it was off to the Christmas tree farm.
Charlie helped Jenna and Robert find the perfect tree.
Thankfully someone other than Robert was there
to strap the tree in place.
Slowly but surely
the house started coming together.
And it began to transform into a home.
Perhaps Christmas wouldn't be lost this year after all.
Charlie. What in the...
Let's put up some Christmas lights.
What, uh, already?
Um, we... we haven't finished the, um...
We're the only house without 'em.
OK.
Jenna. Open the door.
Locked out?
Oh, hi, um...
Christmas lights.
Oh, wow. You're dedicated.
- Yeah. - Isn't it a little late?
Well, apparently it's very important to my daughter Jenna
that I do it right now!
So I see you're not hiding today.
Hiding?
Yeah. You were spinning in circles
pretending to look for a box.
Oh, that!
Uh, I totally forgot about that.
Crazy thing. That darn box still remains elusive to this day.
So...
Um...
A welcome to the neighbourhood slash early Christmas gift.
My own design.
- Sorry it's not wrapped. - Wow. What is it?
Is it a potato gun?
Um, sort of. It's a...
These two are gonna need our help, aren't they?
Definitely.
Maybe I could bring 'em over for a playdate sometime?
Was that your attempt to invite yourself over?
No! No. No.
Well, maybe.
Well, I'll let you get back to it.
Huh. Uh, thank you.
And Merry Christmas.
Here. Corwin used to lock himself out all the time.
They say the smart ones are the most forgetful.
Come on, Gidg.
That play date sounds nice.
Come on, let's go. Bye. Come on, Gidget.
Wow.
Looks like our neighbours are getting cosy.
Yeah.
Too cosy.
- Yes? - Good afternoon, ma'am.
Uh, we're here to...
Are you from the Christmas decorating service?
Uh...
Yeah, we are.
Oh thank goodness, we're waiting.
Come on in, come.
Ooh, this tea was good.
- Oh, I'm glad you liked it. - Yeah.
You know, I cannot tell you how happy I am
you two boys are here.
Ow! Sorry.
- What's going on? - That's my partner.
He makes a lot of noise.
But no, he's trying to just do something very special for you.
- Oh, thank you so much. - Please keep it down.
You're gonna be very happy.
- I'm so appreciative... - Love this tea.
Love this tea.
He... he... he's... He's still making noise.
No, no.
Oh! Hey, Lenny.
- That was a big one. - Lenny!
Please don't break anything.
- It's not broken! - You're in good hands.
And the tree is looking good?
The tree is beautiful.
- Oh, I'm so happy. - Very beautiful.
Shut up!
- Sorry. - Are you sure he's OK?
He's fine. No, please just calm... Hey, Lenny.
I think I'm gonna go check on him.
No, that's fine. You can sit down.
Y'know what I'm loving is this dartboard here.
This dartboard is amazing.
I'm glad you enjoy that.
- Where'd you get the dartboard? - That's for my grandson Billy.
- Yeah? Oh... - He loves to play darts.
- Yeah, he got that. - Yeah.
Wow, I would've thought you'd give him, you know
cash or something. Would've given him, y'know, jewellery.
Just a little old dartboard.
Just a little old dartboard?
He seems like he's in trouble back there.
No, no, no. He's making progress. He's almost done.
He's loading everything up.
I mean, he's stacking everything.
And I... and I won't trip over it?
No, you won't trip.
This place is gonna be cleaned out.
I... I can't believe that
he's OK with all that noise.
Hey, hey, hey. Have you lost your marbles?
Yeah. That's a little thing. I got to remind him.
Come in!
You guys all packed up and ready?
- Almost. - How we doing?
Oh.
- Everyone ready to go? - I was just leaving.
Robert's ready to go, sleep with the fishes!
Oh my gosh. Are you OK?
Hey, you did that on purpose.
Ow! I think I sprained my ankle, I can't go skiing like this.
Can't never could. You'll be fine.
Something like that would never hold me back.
Now man up. Come on, let's go. Get up.
I got Johnson's crutches from last year. You could use 'em.
Well, you know, I kept 'em around just in case.
Guy's such a klutz.
Here we go.
Hiya, I'm Michelle. Keys please?
Oh. The, um... the spare is under the mat in there.
And whatever you do, don't use the bathroom downstairs.
Hi, Charlie! Hello, hello, hello.
Hi, Holly.
Hi... OK.
Uh, thanks for doing this.
Listen, easy on the treats this time.
OK? Gidget's tummy's been a little sensitive.
Got it. No treats, no problem.
- Thank you. - You guys have fun!
Thanks.
Keys, please.
We'll be back soon, OK?
You be a good boy.
Bye, Charlie.
Goodbye, sweet prince.
Grandma. What happened?
Doesn't the place look great?
Oh, my God.
Jose! I got a specific job for you.
What is it, boss? Tell me. Anything, anything, anything.
Charlie, mi amigo!
Why you have no fun like the other dogs, huh?
It's party time, man.
I don't really feel like it, Jose.
- Can you come back another... - Something wrong? You can tell me.
I promise I will tell everyone.
I miss my family.
Oh, sí, sí, sí, sí.
I got just the thing to cheer you up, hombre.
- Oops! - Whoa! Whoa!
Make yourselves at home, perros.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why is Tiny breaking my door?
No!
Muy grande.
Delicious.
I'm so sorry.
♪ Down for whatever, then say it with your chest ♪
- Now where's the chili? - What? Hey, hey!
I would like to apologise
for what snuck out between my cheeks.
♪ They follow my lead then walk away now ♪
♪ Now if you stick around, just don't waste... ♪
Huh? Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What, hey!
Hey, hey, hey. Why are you guys doing this?
Gidget, what's going on?
Why are you guys doing this?
I didn't agree to this.
I didn't know they were gonna do this.
I'm so, so sorry.
Gidget.
♪ Punch that ticket, baby, punch that clock ♪
No!
Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey.
♪ Walk that walk, when you talk that talk ♪
It's not a remote control! No! Why are you guys doing this?
Vinnie P couldn't make it, but he say
"Welcome to the neighbourhood!"
If you ain't out of town by tomorrow morning
you'll never leave, except for in a pine box.
I'm taking over this territory. From now on, it's mine.
The journey to Big Bear was well underway.
Let's check in on our Pet Tech road warriors.
Edward and Courtney seem to be holding up just fine.
Oh, boy. Johnson isn't looking so hot.
He once got seasick watching a miniature toy boat race.
Hang in there, kid.
Well, it looks like our little matchmaker Jenna's plan
is coming together nicely.
And wow. Victor looks like a boiling sausage.
Meanwhile
our two Rhodes scholars are out shopping for a new car.
Victor, fresh out of the oven after three and a half hours
of marinating in a stew of rage and blinding jealousy
decided it was time to launch his devious plot.
Like any good leader
Victor sensed just when to swoop in with a pep talk
and thoughtful encouragement.
Hello. Old blind lady Christmas charities.
How can I be of service?
You boys ready to make a little Christmas money?
Oh, yeah. Are you old and blind?
It's Victor, you idiot.
- Who... who is it? - Shut up, it's Victor.
- Oh hi, Victor. Hi! - Shut up.
I don't have a secure line up and running yet.
So I need both of you to head up to Big Bear.
Yeah, uh...
It's very important.
He's saying something about a bear.
Like Smokey the Bear?
No. Hey, Victor. What kinda bear you talking about?
It's a place, you idiot. Look at a map.
Today, be there. You understand?
Meet me at Krony's.
Krony's. You understand?
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Great!
- Now he's mad. - He's mad?
Yeah. Get a map or something. Look up Big Bear.
We can use the GPS tracker on the... on the phone.
The window is open, you idiot.
Mail people.
Wrong place, wrong time.
This is the best job in the world... No customers to deal with.
Great benefits.
Just cruising in the mail truck, delivering mail.
Mail delivery.
Here, save that. May need it later.
Cold?
- Dogs! - Dogs?
Dogs?
They didn't tell me about dogs.
Should've been an Uber driver.
There is a... there is a dog!
Told ya!
You've come to the wrong neighbourhood...
mailman.
Start the car!
It's still running.
I'm running. 911!
- Give me your hand. Grab my hand! - Call him off! Cesar Millan!
- Cesar Millan! - Come on!
It's just a dog.
Oh yeah, easy for you to say!
Now, deliver this letter.
Here we go.
Now hopefully, this gets to Grandpa Peter
in time for Christmas.
♪ Even though we're not together ♪
♪ I still hold a light ♪
♪ Even though I'm trembling ♪
♪ Of this, I'm pained ♪
♪ And I don't forgive ♪
♪ Joy to the world, the Lord is come ♪
♪ Let earth receive her King ♪
♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪
You look great, guys. Let's take a picture.
♪ And heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing ♪
Johnson, take that inside.
Whoa! How are you? You look great.
Is it just me or is Victor a creepy McCreepy Creeperson?
He's alright. He's just...
♪ He rules the world with truth and grace ♪
♪ And makes the nations prove ♪
- Ew. - Excuse me...
Doc Heinrich Creeperson with a PHD.
Yeah.
♪ His righteousness ♪
♪ And wonders of His love ♪
Alright, come on. Let's get inside.
♪ His love ♪
Need a friend?
Your boyfriend know you're here?
Vinnie P is not my boyfriend.
We were just obeying orders.
Why is everyone obeying that clown?
Vinnie P was here first.
I guess we all just kind of followed his lead.
He wasn't always so bad.
Y'know, our humans have a way of shaping our lives.
Get stuck with a rotten one like Victor and, well
there you go.
Has anyone ever challenged him?
Vinnie P has a way of making problems disappear.
But there was one dog he could never tame.
Jefe! Jefe! Jefe!
So Gidget set off across town to find the only dog
that had ever outsmarted Vinnie P.
She had to dare to go to a place that no sane dog would.
The junkyard.
And why did no dog dare enter?
There were cats.
What kind of a disorganised trash bin...
Oliver? Oliver!
Where did I put my sandwich?
Whoa!
Gidg! Long time no see.
What can I do you for?
Came to see an old friend.
Any luck on your search?
Nothing in here but rotten filth.
I meant the search for your human.
Look, if he hasn't found me by now, I doubt I'll ever find him.
I haven't seen Corwin since
Victor got us kicked out the house.
I thought moving into a dumpster made sense.
They can't kick you out of here.
Plus, no mailmen.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ollie.
C'est la vie.
What brings you out here?
I need you to meet someone.
If this has anything to do with the Dogfather
can't help you, kid.
There will be kibble.
Which way? Which one? Pink?
- No, the other... - The blue, purple?
The rainbow-coloured one.
What? Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, that one right there.
- The blue? The pink? - No, the other...
Make up your mind.
No, the other one. No, that's purple.
- Benny, are you colour-blind? - No, you said the pink one.
- Behind you. - The rainbow-colour one.
- Lenny, what? - Yeah.
Behind Lenny, you idiot.
Santa Claus?
- Santa! - Santa Claus.
Here, you gotta take a picture, take a picture.
- Yeah, yeah. Good idea. - Hey, Santa. Santa.
Listen, I need new tyres, a paint job. I need a new car.
You don't have a car, Lenny.
Santa?
Victor?
Get off me.
Boss, what are you doing?
Look, I wrote it all down, so you bozos won't screw it up.
And no phone calls.
I'll contact you on my secure line in a couple of days.
I can't stress this enough.
It's really important, I need all of his research.
Check everywhere. Check his computer.
His desk, the closet.
The cabinets, the bedroom
the toilets.
Toilets?
Everywhere!
Don't leave any stone unturned. You understand?
I understand, boss. I got it.
Hey, boss. I gotta ask you.
Why you dressed like Santa Claus? I mean, it's not...
None of your business.
Cos I like Christmas. That's why.
Here you go. Half now, half upon delivery.
It's like 40 bucks.
Yeah. That's half of the half now.
Half of the half.
Alright. I get it.
I get it. You can count on me, boss.
I got you.
Hey, take this, you idiot.
OK.
God. And make sure... Hey!
Yeah?
And make sure that dodo bird doesn't go and screw it up.
I can't afford to look stupid.
OK, I got it. I'm on it. You can trust me.
These idiots.
Hi, we're collecting for the blind.
Your donation is a blessing.
I'm sorry. The owner is not here.
I just walk the dogs while they're away.
- That's a cute dog. - Who are these clowns?
Very, very cute dog.
Hey, the smell.
They'll be back in a few days.
You can come back then. I have to go.
Excellent. Very excellent.
I'll be back.
Very excellent.
Merry Christmas. Thanks, bye.
Very excellent. Bye. I'm still... I'm still speaking.
No. No, no. No, no, no, no.
Out, out!
Relax, dog.
Who are you and why are you in my house?
This is him.
He's the one.
A terrier?
You're the one that defied Vinnie P?
Name's Oliver.
And it ain't about the size of a dog in a fight.
It's the size of the fight in the dog.
I wanna hear all about it.
I, the great and valiant Oliver of the dumpster
will show you the way.
But first
I was told there would be food.
Mess with the big dog, you're gonna get bit.
And fleas.
Shut up, you.
In the most hardest to scratch areas.
- Shut up! - On your backside.
And I said
terriers are the best doggone breed there is, bull-face!
No way!
He didn't clobber you?
He couldn't catch me.
Oh man, that is great.
To be honest, Vinnie P caught a bad rap.
Ever since Victor betrayed Corwin and got him fired
things were different.
Victor was even married once.
He kind of lost it when she left.
Snapped, you know?
And Vinnie P, he absorbed all of that negativity.
That's unfortunate. But he can be different.
No one's above change.
Don't hold your breath.
Yo, hey, come out and face me! I'm taking back this territory.
The Dorkfather beckons.
These doggies are in for it now.
You can't take back what was never yours.
This yard was mine. And now it's Charlie's.
I took it from you! I'll take it from him.
Go back to your dumpster, mutt.
Get out of my yard, Vinnie.
Make me.
You sure you want me to?
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime ♪
♪ Mais si je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime ♪
♪ Prends garde à toi ♪
♪ L'amour est enfant de bohême ♪
♪ Il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime prends garde à toi ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas ♪
♪ Si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime ♪
♪ Mais si je t'aime ♪
♪ Si je t'aime ♪
♪ Prends garde à toi ♪
Sorry I'm late, gang!
Bill!
Look, Bill. It's you.
Ah.
So it is.
I painted it myself.
Oh, ho, ho! Interesting. Yeah.
Ah!
On behalf of the humble Pet Tech team
thank you for bringing us out here every 10 years.
Most generous.
I don't not disagree.
Absolutely.
Woo!
So... how'd it go out there today?
I must have fallen a dozen times.
I'm not feeling so well.
Still stuffed from all the snow I ate.
I didn't fall once.
Actually, there's nothing wrong with eating snow.
As long as it's not yellow, that is.
Ew!
Sounds like we should have brought along Jennifer's product.
It's, uh... it's gross, but um...
Do we really have to listen to this while we're eating?
No, Jennifer, really, continue.
It's silly, but basically I found a way to purify, um...
Dog pee.
Yes. Thank you, Holly.
Urine into purified vitamin-based water.
Wow, and this is for dogs?
For anyone brave enough, really.
What's it called?
Uh, "Pee Cubed." The pee-pee purifier.
Why isn't this in every store across the world?
It will be next spring.
Bravo. Bravo!
While we're at it, Robert, Holly here developed the first
pooper scooper using a projectile discharge mechanism.
But I'm sure you knew that.
Like a potato gun.
Got any neighbours you don't like, Robert?
Edmund here, creator of Ever Bath
the first canine shampoo that will keep a dog clean forever.
Or so he claims.
And of course, Marilyn.
And she was the first woman at Pet Tech to successfully train
guinea pigs using '80s music.
- Not bad. - So, are we all caught up now?
And let's not forget Robert's brilliance
by revolutionising canine potty training
with the Poop Flush 3,000.
It's a great product.
Well, thank you.
Glad you're on board, Robert. What are you doing next?
Oh well, it's... it's... it's... it's a very complicated...
Wow.
Whoops.
Wow.
Wow, everybody OK?
Uh, Johnson's down, sir.
Johnson, quit messing around. Get back up here.
Come on, buddy.
So, where were we?
Um, well, as I was saying...
Hold that page. Celebrity guests here for the board meeting.
Big bonuses at stake, know what I mean?
Ooh!
Thank you, sir.
Drink up. Eat up. Enjoy.
Thanks.
Johnson, get your ass up there.
Goddamn embarrassing. Sit down.
It's OK.
Shh! Shh!
What are you doing?
Come on. Shh! Shh!
Oh no! Think. Think.
I am the bone collector. I will bury your...
Which one of these connects to the speaker? I think it's...
- Huh? - No.
Got it.
I am the bone collector. I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones. Give me your bones.
Bones, please. Your bones.
"Give me your bones"?
I am the bone collector. I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones.
I am the bone collector. I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones. Give me your bones.
Bones, please, your bones.
- Oh! - What the heck!
Holy Shih Tzu!
Get up!
Yeah. Can we do that again?
Shut up.
You know what? My ankle's feeling a lot better today.
I thought snowboarding would be easier, but it's not.
It hurts.
Maybe you should hang back with my dad tomorrow.
- Good night, guys. - Hey, where you going?
It's an hour past my bedtime.
Good night, Jenna.
Yeah, we can watch the soaps tomorrow.
Johnson, I heard you were quite the collegiate athlete, huh.
Argh! I was on the debate team.
Hey, so was I.
You know what's important, Victor?
Although you might fall, that you get back up.
Uh, hmm, I never fall. Ever.
I was cut off.
By a tree.
Trees can be crafty.
Yeah, you better be careful.
Next time, you might run into an even bigger tree.
That's funny.
It seems to me, Robert, a man who comes prepared.
A man who knows when to be careful.
Yeah! Oh... Yeah.
Are we still talking about skiing?
No.
Hey! Everyone ready?
For what?
Company game night.
Oh!
Oh! Ah...
♪ She asked me what my name was ♪
♪ I said, "I've got no name" ♪
- ♪ And though she knew the answer... ♪ - H1.
- Hit. - ♪ She asked me once again ♪
♪ I said I've got no question ♪
♪ Under the bright blue sky ♪
♪ I know that I could tell you ♪
♪ Something and not tell you why ♪
Oh, it was a mistake.
Oh!
♪ Where will we go ♪
♪ I've got no bright idea where we go ♪
♪ I don't know till the last good time ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
Well...
Oh, yeah!
This is so stupid.
Look, there's something I wanna share with you.
There's a time in every man's life
when he starts to think to the future, to the next chapter.
My time at Pet Tech is just about done.
And I need someone I can trust to take the reins
for the next 20, 25 years.
Keep my legacy alive.
It's taken a lot of thought.
But I think I know just the man for the job.
Wow, Bill.
I'm so honoured.
I think Robert's our man.
Wait.
- What? What, the new guy? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but you hardly know him.
I know. Bold move, right?
Yeah, but I've been at the company for 15 years.
Which makes you perfect for the man
to help him learn the ropes.
I mean, he's a real talent.
That's why I brought him in, obviously.
But someone has got to watch his back and support him.
And as my longstanding senior manager
with a heart of gold, and a brain of platinum
I know you are just the guy.
Yes.
You know me well, Bill.
Thank you.
Let's get drunk.
Ah.
I'm so glad we had that talk!
Johnson! Wow, I see you take your downtime quite literally.
Where's the punch?
We all experiment, right?
She hated that thing.
I mean, you're going so fast, she'd have trouble breathing.
So we had to slow down. Almost never finished.
It was very frustrating.
Oh, I... I... I totally understand the feeling.
So that's when we created Easy Harness.
It changed our lives.
- Wow. - Sorry, I'm talking too much.
No, no. I love hearing about this.
You've done an amazing job with Jenna.
She's incredible.
It's really a testament to your parenting.
She is... She's everything to me.
It shows.
She's very lucky to have you.
I'll be right back.
You should see this house! I'm not cleaning it again.
I mean just, wow.
But I have to walk Charlie n...
Peter, where you have been?
Charlie. Hey, bud. I've missed you.
Scratch that. Let me call you back.
I'm Peter. I believe my granddaughter Jenna lives here.
I'm Michelle. I'm dog-sitting while everyone's up in Big Bear.
Oh, I see.
Would it be OK if I took Charlie off your hands
for a little while?
We used to love our long walks and talks.
You are a lifesaver.
An old man and a teeny bopper.
It's interesting, huh?
Yeah, and that dumb dog. Can't stand that dog.
Come on. Let's make a move.
Hey! Hey, come on.
Mumma!
"Mumma!" Wake up.
Here, come on. Take a look.
Benny, it's the bone collector.
Yeah. Hardly a numbtruck.
- Oh, come on. Let's go. - What's a numbtruck?
Oh, you mean nunchuck, nunchuck.
- Yeah, nunchuck. - I used to do that.
- Alright. Come on, come on! - I gotta go to the bathroom!
Wait, wait, wait. Wrong way. Come on.
Wrong way?
- Come on, move. - The GPS.
Move. Forget the GPS, let's go.
I sure enjoy our walks.
Oh! I've missed you too, Peter.
You're probably wondering why I haven't been around.
It's a little complicated.
You see, Robert...
he adored Zoe.
They did everything together.
Raising Jenna, or troubleshooting inventions.
One day, they got this crazy idea
for a dog translator.
- Believe that? - Mm, maybe.
I've been in the pet business 30 years.
Craziest idea I ever heard.
Well...
Anyway, they worked on it together.
But Zoe died before they could finish it.
I told him it was foolish to keep at it.
That he needed to spend more time with Jenna.
So we argued.
I went too far and he stopped speaking to me.
I wish I'd understood how important it was to him.
I see that now.
It made him feel like she's still there
working right beside him.
So Robert can't let the project go
because he can't let Zoe go.
Maybe if he could finish it
he could find some peace.
I want that for him.
I do, too.
Can't we just mail it?
Nope.
I-I wanna go home.
Nope.
M-m-maybe you can take it to the door
- and I can keep cover. - Is that what you really want?
Nope.
Howdy, fellas.
Hey, is your dog locked up?
Oh, I was just walking him. Not my dog.
He's my friend.
Well, your friend is really vicious. Maybe you can take his package.
Nope.
No, no, no, no.
Robert's research. All of his work was on that computer!
Mate, I smell mail people.
No, this was human.
Mate, this was mail people.
I'm telling you, when you're not looking
they break into your house, eat all the dog food
and take all the dog treats.
They are vile and disgusting.
Just when you think you've snuffed one out
another one pops in its place, like a cockroach!
No, actually
I like cockroaches much better.
See? I was right. The nose knows.
Go on.
Oh, God.
I've got you now...
mailman.
Oh.
What do I do?
Come here.
You come here.
Slow and steady. That's right.
- Back up. - Come on, come on.
- See how easy it was? - Gotcha!
We meet again, Frank.
Oliver, ready to chow down?
Ready, guvnor.
You messed with the wrong cul-de-sac.
That's right. You're not going anywhere.
Alright. Let's show these clowns.
Now!
Vengeance is mine!
Hi, it's Michelle.
There's something I have to tell you.
It's gone too. The whole place is in shambles.
I'm so sorry.
Grab your boots, Holly and I are going sledding.
I'm not much for sledding right now.
Oh, come on, stinker. It'll be great.
Jenna, I just told you, I don't wanna go.
Go without me, OK?
Since when do you feel like doing anything
that doesn't revolve around you?
Excuse me?
You heard me. I don't even know who you are anymore.
Hey, hey!
Watch it, young lady.
Who puts the food on the table, alright?
Or... or... or buys the clothes that you wear?
Or pays for the big room that you live in? I do. OK?
I don't bother you about anything. Nothing.
Not your chores, your homework.
Nothing.
I just let you be. Just... just let me be, alright?
Just leave me alone.
Mum's dead, Dad.
She's gone.
I know that's why you bury yourself in your work.
But guess what, I am still very much alive.
You act like I died with her.
I can't even storm out of here saying "I wanna go home."
Because I don't.
♪ O Holy Night ♪
♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪
Too many more of these
and you won't feel like skiing tomorrow.
Oh, yeah. About that...
Oh, bummer. That's too bad.
Well, I see it in here all the time.
Really?
No, not really.
- Slopes get you? - I wish.
Happened before we left town.
Mm.
- Are you crying? - No. I'm not.
It's not...
It's the altitude in the bar.
Well... it can't be all gloom and doom.
It seems to me that you've got a little girl quite fond of you.
Oh, Holly?
She's just a co-worker.
I was talking about that angelic daughter of yours.
You're a lucky man.
She hates me.
Well, I don't believe that for a second.
No child truly hates their parent.
Especially one that looks at you with that glimmer in her eye.
Well, that glimmer's long gone after the fight we had.
Everybody argues, fella. Human nature.
What matters is, is that you deal with it.
Face it head on. Don't let it fester.
Listen, I've got daughters of my own.
We've had our share.
Ooh, boy.
Mostly about boys like us.
I am not looking forward to that.
The point is...
we got through it, just like you'll get through this.
See, that's the beauty of children.
The light in their eyes.
They understand forgiveness.
I don't... I don't know if I deserve forgiveness.
I've completely ignored her for the past three years ever since...
ever since my wife, her mother, passed away
it's been rough.
I've just buried myself in the work.
And now it was all for nothing.
Because it's stolen.
Things come and go.
The people in our lives is what counts.
But the prototype, my work, the time, the effort and energy.
I was on the cusp of something great there.
I was about to make my mark. It was my heart and soul.
Oh, boo-hoo! That's horse-buckey.
That little girl, she's your heart and soul.
And if you couldn't see that
well, whatever you lost needed to go.
Tell me what you see.
My hangover?
Ah.
Things cloud our relationships.
Or block them out completely.
You... You see that family out there?
How about now?
The higher we hold things
the harder it is to see the people that we love.
Now, you know, whatever you lost
this research and whatnot.
It can be replaced.
But just don't replace it with other things.
♪ And in his name ♪
♪ All oppression shall cease ♪
Wow.
I don't... I don't know where to begin
or where to start.
Well... what does she want more than anything?
Christmas with family.
What's stopping you?
Nothing.
So are you going to continue this pity party
and mull around my bar
crying in your sad pants
and drinking up my eggnog?
Or are you gonna make that little girl's Christmas special?
♪ The angel voices ♪
♪ Oh, night... ♪
Thanks for the advice.
♪ Oh, night ♪
♪ When Christ was born ♪
He didn't pay his tab.
♪ Oh night, divine ♪
♪ Oh, night ♪
♪ Oh, night divine ♪
Hey, boss.
So what have you done?
We wrecked the joint, just like you wanted.
I didn't ask you to wreck the joint.
I said grab the version of all his research.
But boss, the computer was password protected.
We couldn't get in.
So we, you know... we destroyed it. We thought it would be fun.
I pay you to follow orders.
Why didn't you just grab the computer?
I could've figured out the password later!
OK, never mind.
Never mind. Uh...
so, uh, you got the prototype, right?
It's, uh... it's not the end of the world.
I can just reverse-engineer the translator from that.
Prototype?
Tell me you got the one he already built!
You... D'oh!
I'm confused. I mean, should we go back?
Yes! Go back, find it!
Find it!
Everybody's coming back tomorrow!
Hey! Can't you steal a better car?
He likes red.
Who's "he"?
Going to Santa Land. Frosty the Snowman.
Oh, my God.
Look, I'm sorry.
No, look, hey. I'm sorry, OK?
I've been a jerk.
Ever since Mum...
Look, ever since Mum passed away
I haven't been able to get past it, OK?
And I know that's no excuse for the way that I've ignored you.
And I thought that I could just distract myself with my work
but in reality I was just... I was just pushing you away.
Mum does live on.
She lives on here.
She lives on here, you know?
More importantly, she lives on here.
I don't know what I would do if I lost you.
From now on...
work takes a backseat, OK?
- OK. - OK?
Now what do you say we blow this popsicle stand and get out of here?
Thought you'd never ask.
Let's go.
Oh, take the shoe.
Come on.
Here.
Oh, Benny, you shouldn't have.
Hold on. It's not Christmas.
What's this for?
For the dogs.
- Oh. - Just open it, would you?
OK.
Why we getting the dogs a gift, Benny?
Come on.
We're gonna shoot the dogs, then we're gonna...
That means we're gonna go back inside.
- We're going back? - Yeah, they're tranq darts.
Yes, we got to go back because you screwed up, genius.
I didn't screw up. You screwed up.
You broke the computer.
That's not the way we're gonna remember it.
And be careful, numbskull.
You poke yourself with one of those, you'll be numb for hours.
OK.
How many darts do we have? Huh?
I got an idea.
- Yeah? - I got an idea.
- You got an idea? Go ahead, spit it out. - Yeah. OK, so...
it's not gonna take us too long to get in there
get the prototype and get back out, right?
I wouldn't think so. Then?
We got the whole neighbourhood
the entire neighbourhood, every one of these houses
and the dog park to ourselves, right?
OK, go ahead, go on.
So why are we only hitting the inventor's house?
Why don't we hit every single one of 'em?
You know, with my intellectual, mental telepathy that I have
I actually can't believe
that the words are gonna come out of my mouth.
That's not a bad idea.
That's the nicest thing you ever said to me, Benny.
Sta così.
Know what? We're gonna need a bigger truck.
And I know just where to get one.
Let's go. Put it... put it in the bag.
Alright. Come on.
Why do we need a truck?
Oh, no.
Jefe, jefe, jefe, jefe...
Jef-ef-ef-ef, jefe! Jefe!
How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, I mean, Dogfather.
Bad guys are coming, señor! Bad guys are coming tonight.
For everybody.
I can't understand you. Slow down.
I don't speak chihuahua! Slow down!
- Jefe, they're coming. - Hey!
Ow!
Gracias, señor. I needed that.
Now, who do you say is stupid enough
to mess with the Dogfather's territory?
Banditos, I say. Banditos!
- Say, you silly chihuahua. - Banditos, señor.
- Hey! - I mean, Dogfather.
Alright. Listen up.
We've got a very real threat that's...
Hey, you weren't invited! Get out.
I have a plan that can help everybody.
But we need to work together and put our differences aside.
Vinnie P, you have to trust me.
Trust you? Who do you think you...
Enough!
You're not a leader.
You're a bully. This is our one shot to save Christmas.
And it's gonna take all of us.
We need you.
But you need to leave your bulldog ego at the door.
Christmas, schmistmas.
But this is our home.
And nobody messes with our home.
I'm all ears! And face.
What's this brilliant plan of yours?
We'll set our defences here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why your house? Why not...
Vinnie, look around you.
You see all these useless, malfunctioning inventions
we're surrounded by?
Each one is a major safety hazard.
And that's what makes them perfect for our defences.
Look, these two aren't gonna stop until they find
what they're after.
The most important invention of all.
It's very special.
When Robert gets it to work
we'll be able to communicate with our humans
in their language!
We'll be the first talking dogs in history!
Then we give them all they can handle.
We have to protect this.
But they're humans.
Evil humans. They're big. They're mean.
They're...
They're never gonna see us coming.
I hope you're right on that one.
Each of you has a dog superpower.
And we're gonna use 'em all.
Let's go save stinkin' Christmas.
Operation One Rough Christmas is a go.
Remember, we stick together. Wait for my signal.
Tonight, we protect our homes.
Tonight, we save Christmas.
Tonight, we bring the pain.
Excuse me.
I would like to apologise to everybody in the room
who just witnessed a little sneak-in between my cheeks.
Cats are smarter than dogs, they said.
No thumbs, they said.
Zonks!
Lock and load.
Coming through!
Fire in the hole.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
- Alright? - Yeah.
- Let's get the prototype first. - Yeah.
And then we hit the rest of these godforsaken houses.
Then we ride off into the sunset, alright?
Let's do it. But... but it's daytime.
It's an expression. Alright, Lenny?
Benny, what's a prototype?
Let's go. Alright?
Alright. Come on. Let's make a move.
- Cross, cross! - What am I looking for?
- Cross, cross! - What are you doing?
Criss-cross?
That's it. Come on.
Come on.
- OK... - You go first.
Go ahead. Ready. Go, go, go!
Victor's gonna be so proud of us.
Think we'll get a bonus?
- Yeah. - OK, OK.
Benny. Someone's home, Benny.
I ain't buying it. Shh.
They just put the light on.
Where?
Right in there. Look. There's a lamp.
- Alright, step back. - What do you mean? I am back.
What'd I tell you? Look, it's just that stupid dog.
Get ready!
- I've seen this in the movies, we're good. - Go ahead.
Here we go, I got it.
Ready.
Ooh!
Now!
What are you doing? I thought you knew how to do that?
I do. The light's off, right?
Yeah.
OK, let's do this. You go first.
I'm lactose intolerant. Go ahead.
Shh! You hear that?
- What? - It's a bat signal.
I think he's alerting all his buddies, Benny.
Shut up, Lenny. Get in there. Come on.
- In here? Me? - Get in!
I'll lead. OK, I'll go first.
- Here goes, Benny. - Bernard, release the beans!
Hello.
Oh, Mumma!
Chemical warfare, Benny.
Get up.
Alright. Let me try this.
Don't worry, I saved some for you, too.
Ooh! Ooh!
It stinks! Ooh!
Ooh! Agh!
Oh, Benny.
- Ah! Lenny! My eyes! - You OK, Benny?
Some angel wrapped his arms around me
and graced me with his heavenly breeze!
Really?
No, shut up, you idiot! Go ahead. Come on.
Chili?
Surf's up.
What is that?
You hear that?
Where's that coming from, Benny? I can't see.
- An earthquake? - What is it?
- I don't know. - An earthquake?
Ooh, no.
Think it's coming from up here somewhere.
Where?
What, here?
Oh! Benny, I can't swim, Benny!
- I can't swim! - Let go of me!
Back up!
Alright, here we go!
Bozos are here.
Get ready.
Cough up.
- I'm going this way? - Go ahead, go!
Whoops.
It's times like these I wish I had thumbs.
Perfect spin on that ball.
Ow!
And he gets the spare.
I'm OK, Benny.
Oh, my God.
Alright, let's go this way. Follow me. Come on.
Be careful. Watch out for those... for those bowling balls.
- Yeah. They don't scare me. - Heavy. Big, black ones.
Charlie to serve.
Ooh, ace! 15-0.
- What was that? - The big black ones!
Oh, 30-love!
40-love.
Hey, cut it out, alright? That's enough!
- Benny, what is that? - I don't know.
What are you doing?
Game, set, match, putz.
What, are you kidding me?
Son of a gun.
What? Is that it?
Wanna go bowling?
What the...
Oh, Benny.
Get up.
I'm hit...
OK... I'll get the dog.
Those freaking devil dogs.
I wanna go home, Benny. I want my mumma, Benny.
Look around.
Come on, it's... It's got to be here somewhere.
Look hard. We gotta find this freakin' thing. Come on.
I'm looking.
I am the bone collector.
I will bury your bones. Give me your bones.
I am the bone collector. I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones.
Bones, collect your bones.
Over here, you silly sausages.
Look at it. The dog, he's got the collar!
I'll go get him.
The dog!
Hello, guvnor.
Hey, that's my Benny! Hey!
Fleas removal system needs recalibrating.
That one hurt me.
Fleas removal system fail.
- Watch my leg. - Oh, Benny...
That's my bad leg.
- I've had enough. - Yeah, you had enough, Lenny.
Seven times too many. That's it.
What are you doing?
What's with the hat?
What do you mean? It works. It's protection.
Protection of what?
You're just jealous cos you look like Pancho Villa.
Now let's go get the dog! I've had enough of this.
Easy. Careful.
Careful.
It's a whole family of inventors.
Alright. Come on, come on. Come on.
Wait a sec. Benny.
What? What's that?
That's it. Look! Oh, yeah!
It's me. I got it, Benny. It's all me.
- Careful. Be careful. - Come on, Benny.
What is that? Egyptian or something?
You ready?
Come in.
- Oh, God! - Excuse me, hombres.
I'm sorry I got my little leg in your ear.
I apologise. Not much, but I apologise.
This way, cabron!
Get this little...
A gismo!
Benny, I...
I can do this alone.
Oh, yeah.
The collar.
Oh, this is amazing.
Victor and Benny are gonna be so happy with me.
This is so good.
Right, let's do this.
Ready, guvnor.
I always said I could do it. I did it.
Uh...
Oh, I think this is a fugazi.
Yeah, look what I got.
Look what I got.
Lenny?
Lenny!
Oh, no... The room's spinning, Benny, please.
I'm getting dizzy!
- I see you. I don't see you. - What you looking at, you dog?
I don't see you. I see you. I see you. I don't see you.
And he fell down!
Lenny, I got it!
I got the collar. I got it.
You got the collar?
I got it. What the hell happened to you?
I... What do you mean?
Oh! I got shift. I...
- You got what? - Yeah, I... I...
What do you mean you got shift?
Yeah, I... I got... my hands are tied.
Yeah, I can see that.
- I got the collar. - That's the collar!
Oh, you got the...
Pretty sure I got the collar. Calm down, we got things to do.
I'm gonna go do that, I am. I'm gonna go do that right now.
- Where you going? What? - You said it. We got things to do.
What do you mean? Where you going?
Don't do that thing.
Where you going? Don't go.
- Don't do it. - I'm not doing it.
- Don't go there. - I'll never do that.
Where you going? Don't go there.
- I'm not. - No, don't do it.
- I would never do that. - No. You hear what I said?
No, listen. You stay here.
I said don't do it.
I'm not. I'm not. Do I look like I'm walking away?
Get over here...
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Taco blaster.
Yeah. I'd go for a taco.
Yeah... Uh-huh.
- Hot sauce launched. - Argh!
Burns going in. Burns going out.
Ah, tacos!
Meant for tacos, not for eyeballs. Must recalibrate.
Can't see a thing.
Burning, it's burning!
Ooh! Ah!
Oh! Ooh!
Ah! Argh!
Batter up.
Argh!
Hey, Benny?
Benny.
Ooh! Oh, my! Oh...
- Oh! - Benny? Benny.
What do you want?
Come on over, Benny.
I'm burning and my mouth hurts!
- Ah! - What?
- Alright. - Come here.
Uh, it's not working.
Usually this goes off, Benny. It's not working.
- This has never happened before. - What's the problem?
It... it didn't explode.
But why?
I don't know why.
- Benny, what... - What is that?
It's... maybe I should... Yup, I'm gonna flush it.
Oh! Benny, what was that?
I told you to be more careful, didn't I?
I don't know what it is, but it's too bad, Benny.
Yeah. Where... where's the collar?
It's right here.
No, the collar. I left it right here, numbnuts.
You lost the collar, Benny?
I didn't lose it. It was here. Somebody robbed it.
Then you lost it. If you said it was there when you left...
Oh, maybe it's in the bathroom. I'll go look.
There he is. Look, I got the dog right...
- He's got the collar. Look. - He does.
I got him right now. Here we go.
Uh-oh. Oh, no, no.
That's it.
Hey, um... why don't we talk about this?
Stop making noise, all you do is...
- Hey, what's that? - Hey, freeze, dog!
I'm gonna shoot him right now.
- What's up, you freakin' dog? - Hey!
Stand up!
This is all one big misunderstanding.
- This way? - I got this, cover him.
- Criss-cross, criss-cross. - Criss-cross.
This is not good. Hey, why don't we, uh...
Why don't we just take a chill for a second?
Got this dog right where I want him.
Fellas? Hey, guys.
- So, uh... - Come here.
...why don't we talk about this, guys?
Got ya.
You guys into kibble or wet food?
Wow, are you part ogre?
- I've got ya. - No surrender!
We... got... off...
- It's stronger than me, Benny! - On... the wrong paw!
- Benny, get in here! - It belongs to my human.
Get outta the way, I got it!
Give it back.
That's Robert's!
Who's at the door?
Hey, what are... Who... who are you two?
Oh, my gosh, burglars!
Hey, who are you?
Burglars! We're being robbed?
No, not being robbed. You're being burglarised.
What do you goons think you're doing here?
Hey, boss. We got it just like you want. The invention.
Hey, shut up, heathen! That was a rhetorical question.
Historical?
Hysterical.
Rhetorical, rhetorical.
That's it. Or... whatever.
Here, listen, boss. You know, I mean, Victor.
You said...
You think you can just come in here?
And break into my friend's place and... and steal stuff?
Because we're doing w-what we were told to...
Shut up! Stop answering my question.
Alright, no more Christmas cards for you. That's it.
I'm cutting you out, Victor.
- That's right. - Wait, you know these guys?
Uh, hmm, what do you mean?
What do you mean? You know these people?
Yeah, yeah, right. Now I remember.
You were those two bozos that worked for the non-profit thing
a while back.
Trying to get 'em back on their feet.
Yeah. Guess that didn't work, huh?
Hey, uh, you got... you got allergies or something?
Something wrong with your eye?
Yeah, you're twitching, Victor. You got like a big twitch.
- Dad, call the cops. - I'm on it.
There's no need to call the police. Uncle Victor's here.
Oh!
Hey, you can't do that, that's my friend...
Oh, oh!
Oh no!
No, no, no, no!
So sorry, Robert.
No, that... that stupid thing never worked to begin with.
It broke.
It's just a prototype, and not a very good one.
Right, OK.
Wait, wait, wait.
God...
- Wow. - Victor...
- Huh? - Victor?
Victor, what'd you do?
Victor, you fixed it!
- I did. - You did!
It works?
We need to try it out. Charlie.
Charlie, come here. Charlie.
Hello, Jenna.
It works! Dad, it works.
That's amazing.
Victor. Victor, you fixed it.
That's amazing.
Oh, I can't believe it.
I-I'm speechless.
Victor, how can I repay you?
I don't think you can ever repay me.
But, you know, why don't we partner up on this little trinket here?
Wow, Victor. You are unbelievable.
Wait, no, Holly. Hear Victor out.
You've been the only one to fix this device.
You stopped these goons.
A partnership is only fair.
Yeah, it just turns out the copyright office
they don't really regard a handshake
- as being legally binding, so... - Oh, OK.
It just turned out I have these papers laying around.
Here. Mm.
If you wouldn't mind signing on the last page?
It says right there that you get 100%
and we get the rest.
- Uh... - That doesn't make sense.
Shh. OK. Listen.
It's... it's just some legal mumbo jumbo
that makes us partners
in the canine, you know, translator that we developed.
Robert, don't sign that.
Don't do it, Robert.
Victor hired these creeps.
What, Charlie?
Victor hired these creeps
- to steal your invention. - Hey, uh...
Charlie.
He's delusional. Obviously, we need to do more work on this.
Hey, partner.
I'm not delusional. You are a thief.
Don't do it. Don't do it, Robert.
- Quiet. - Thief, thief, thief.
You gotta be careful. Those dogs, they're too smart.
The dog might even be smarter than me.
Oh, for crying out loud. Seriously?
Ooh! Ooh, ooh...
What is going on?
Quiet. No more games.
What are you doing?
Shut up, dog.
Now you sign those papers or the pup gets it.
- Charlie! - Hey, hey, no.
Victor, why are you doing this?
Why?
Why? I'll tell you why.
I've been working for this godforsaken company for 15 years!
Not one of my inventions has been appreciated.
Instead I've been passed up for stupid dancing guinea pigs.
For stupid poo shooters.
- Hey. - Even for drinking urine.
Can you believe that... that mousy woman Jennifer
came up with that pee purifier?
And it was my invention...
my invention that sucked!
No! This is the year.
This is the year I win!
The year of Victor. Now sign the damn thing. Sign it.
That's right. If you don't mind signing the back as well.
Good. And the addendum.
Yeah, my lawyer's real picky about that stuff.
Anybody know a good notary public?
Uh... OK, never mind.
OK, keep the pink copy. The yellow one's mine.
Thank... Put it in my pocket.
Thank you very much. OK. Good.
What do you say, huh?
Charlie, translate.
- Got it. - You're better than this, Victor.
You're better than this, Victor.
- What? - You don't have to do this.
You don't have to do this.
Can we talk about this some other time?
No, the time is now.
Things haven't been the same since she left.
- I know. - We know you're sad.
We know you're sad.
It's hard for you.
Vinnie P, I don't wanna hear this right now.
Can we take this somewhere else?
- You're lonely. - You're lonely.
You don't want to do this. You don't want to shoot him.
I know. He looks very cute.
I just have to do it.
Charlie, run!
Hey, you guys look after these people.
Hey, sorry about the leg.
OK, the pup's mine!
- Alright. - God, it hurts.
Ow! Ow!
That's gonna hurt.
Fire.
- Ow! - Bull's eye!
Over here, you big lug.
Activate.
Come and get me.
Come on.
- Want me to tie 'em up? - Yeah, Lenny. Do your thing.
Your form is very good, for your shadow boxing.
Yeah, I got you.
Yeah, that's very good.
Zip, zip, zip, zip!
Soaping, soaping, soaping.
Soaping, soaping, soaping, soaping, soaping, soaping.
What happened to you guys anyway?
What happened to us? I got farted on. That's what happened.
Oh, yeah? I got electrocuted.
You did? Well, I got bowling-balled, Benny.
Yeah? I got punched in the face by a... by a punching bag.
Well, I got Saran-wrapped.
Saran-wrapped. Oh, yeah?
- Yes. - I got hosed by the taco lady.
That's right.
You guys are the worst bad guys ever.
Hey, don't judge us, little girl. And you be quiet.
Ever Bath activate.
- OK. - Be quiet.
Think he's trying to say something, man.
Take it off, Lenny. Let me hear what he's got to say.
You're not gonna get away with this.
- With what? - With this.
Shut up! Put it back.
Put it back. Shut up.
Benny, Benny, what do you mean? We're not gonna get away with this?
Ah, they all say that. Don't worry about it. I got it.
OK, I trust you.
Releasing steam.
Sorry.
- Uh, Benny? - Get it.
- Benny. - Yeah, what?
Those Christmas lights.
They're really red and blue. They...
They didn't look like that before!
Let's go! Let's get outta here!
Let's go, let's go.
Whoa. Oh, boy!
Police! Get on the floor! Get on the floor!
Get on the floor!
Eat the floor!
Get down! Get down now!
I've seen this guy before!
Untie us! Untie us!
Come back! Come back!
- Robert. Robert. Come here. - What?
- Where are you? - Come here. Come here.
You taste like tape.
Is that all you got, pup?
Afraid not.
Bye-bye.
And down.
See what I told you, Lenny?
I... I don't... I don't even know these guys.
Ah, the sweet sound of justice.
That's slander.
Ask the dog. He'll vouch for me!
Tell 'em, Vinnie P!
I'm innocent.
Hook 'em and book 'em.
I'm innocent.
Alright, show him, Larry.
Take a good look.
Yeah. That was the charity. I was working for the kids.
I've never seen those two in my life.
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas, bozos.
Oliver?
Hello, little lady.
- Hey, buddy. - Aww...
You guys know each other?
This is Corwin's dog.
He's gonna be so happy we found him.
Gidget, come here.
Hey...
Just wanted to let you know that we can do this together.
Alright?
I need you.
I love you, Dad.
I love you too, kiddo.
Hey, if you hadn't called the cops when you did, I...
And about that...
I didn't call the cops.
But he did.
I'm so sorry, Robert
about everything I said
everything I did.
Everything.
Dad...
it's me who's sorry.
About everything.
I love you, son.
I love you, Dad.
Hey. Merry Christmas, guys.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you.
For what? I'm homeless now.
Like that mutt, Oliver.
Some Christmas we saved.
Christmas is always worth saving.
You did good.
I'm happy to share my carrot toy with you, and my home.
Thanks, Charlie.
Ah...
Why does mail run on Christmas?
Oh, you need the training.
I thought this was the best job in the world.
I was wrong.
You're gonna be great, I believe in you.
And I'm proud of you.
♪ I still hold a light ♪
♪ Even though we both have new eyes ♪
♪ Even though we're not together ♪
♪ I still hold a light ♪
♪ Even though I'll do right ♪
You came to the wrong neighbourhood, mailman.
Speak well of me.
Get him.
♪ And I don't forgive ♪
Merry Christmas day now.
I love you.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Easy on the beard, little lady, I'm falling.
OK, OK, OK...
That tickles!
Thanks, Jenna.
When... when the alarm hears that you get a notifica...
♪ Auld lang syne ♪
♪ We'll take a cup o' kindness yet ♪
♪ For days of auld lang syne ♪
♪ As we gather round the tree ♪
♪ Our voices all combine ♪
Uno momento.
♪ In sweet accord ♪
Merry Christmas!
Hello, guvnor.
I'm allergic to dogs.
Merry Christmas, hero.
Oh, he likes you.
Hey, hey, where's Johnson?
Oh no... Oh.
So that is the story of how the dogs at Pet Tech
saved the day and saved Christmas.
The family was back together and happier than ever.
And as for myself...
What, were you expecting a talking pig?
That would just be ridiculous.
♪ You have black hair I have blue ♪
♪ You look sadder than most girls do ♪
♪ The way you walk around ♪
♪ Always watching the ground, well ♪
♪ I like watching you ♪
♪ Your friends, they don't like me ♪
♪ I think they're jealous of my tattoos ♪
♪ I'm not a bad guy, just like wearing black ♪
♪ I'm not scared of anything but saying this to you ♪
♪ It's going down ♪
♪ Neither of us wanna be ♪
♪ Alone right now, come on, come on ♪
♪ Oh, my, my ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm loving all your warning signs ♪
♪ 'Cos I'm sucker for you, on my mind ♪
♪ Girl, you get me high ♪
♪ Yeah, you're my type ♪
♪ You're danger, danger ♪
♪ Yeah, I'll be waiting by the blacktop ♪
♪ Like a cigarette stain for you ♪
♪ Every day I just won't go away ♪
♪ I'm not scared of anything but saying this to you ♪
♪ It's going down ♪
♪ Neither of us wanna be alone right now ♪
OK, um...
I don't why this is so challenging. Alright.
Repeat after me, alright.
Mm-hmm.
"You have the right.
- "To remain silent." - To remain silent.
"Anything you did..." Wait, no, no, no.
"Anything you say, anything you say
can and will be used against you in a court of law."
Sure, it can and will.
- In a court... - In a court of law.
Alright, yeah. Yeah.
"You have the right, um...
to speak to an attorney."
Yeah. You, like, speak.
To an attorney. I got that.
An attorney, he's got a... Is present.
He's present during any... any questioning.
Hmm.
Yeah.
- My attorney? - No!
Remember the thing?
- The thing? - Yeah, all the dogs running around?
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, important.
I don't think we're ever gonna see those guys again.
- Uh-uh. - Uh-uh. No.
♪ Cos I'm a sucker for you, on my mind... ♪
Want a donut?
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull