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Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
2
00:00:43,284 --> 00:00:45,348
So beautiful. Gorgeous!
3
00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:47,182
Just like your Kamran.
4
00:00:47,184 --> 00:00:50,276
He is the perfect match
for our Nousha.
5
00:00:58,883 --> 00:01:00,043
Nousha?
6
00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:02,876
Coming!
7
00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:15,714
- Babe?
- Yeah.
8
00:01:15,716 --> 00:01:17,848
- Hurry up. My mom's waiting.
- Yeah.
9
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:19,648
- Where are your shoes?
- Right here.
10
00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:20,848
Okay, don't forget
to light the candles.
11
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:21,948
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay?
12
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:22,948
Yeah, I got you.
13
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,109
- All right.
- Yeah.
14
00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:39,742
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
15
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:46,182
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
16
00:01:46,184 --> 00:01:49,182
♪ Happy birthday ♪
17
00:01:49,184 --> 00:01:52,310
♪ Future mother-in-law ♪
18
00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:58,048
♪ Happy birthday ♪
19
00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,976
♪ To you ♪
20
00:02:08,917 --> 00:02:10,915
- Noushi.
- Nousha.
21
00:02:10,917 --> 00:02:12,376
- Nousha.
- Nousha.
22
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,776
We need to talk.
23
00:02:15,716 --> 00:02:16,842
Yeah.
24
00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:24,382
Uh, we... I mean I think that...
26
00:02:24,384 --> 00:02:28,781
You may not be the best fit
for our Kamran, okay?
27
00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,976
- Oh.
- Are you breaking up with me?
28
00:02:34,184 --> 00:02:36,415
Is your mother
breaking up with me?
29
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:39,881
We want the ring back.
30
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:42,681
Ohh... Give it back.
32
00:02:42,683 --> 00:02:45,041
Give it back.
33
00:02:50,950 --> 00:02:53,048
These people are fake.
34
00:02:53,050 --> 00:02:54,274
I love you.
35
00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:58,948
She is freak.
36
00:02:58,950 --> 00:03:00,243
Such a freak.
37
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:02,809
Come along.
38
00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:52,182
Come on, come on.
Do you feel that burn?
39
00:03:52,184 --> 00:03:53,248
Four, three.
40
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,215
Spooky girl in the back,
41
00:03:55,217 --> 00:03:56,915
why you goin' so slow?
42
00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:59,776
This isn't a yoga class.
Move those legs!
43
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,807
Who loves mommy?
Does Lulu love mommy?
44
00:04:36,084 --> 00:04:37,781
What'd you say?
45
00:04:37,783 --> 00:04:40,015
Did you just say Dartmouth?
46
00:04:40,017 --> 00:04:41,382
She's a genius.
47
00:04:41,384 --> 00:04:43,143
I can already tell
by her speech pattern.
48
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,748
Personally, I'm relieved
that it's all over.
49
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,915
How did I let it get that far?
Did I even love him?
50
00:04:49,917 --> 00:04:50,948
No.
51
00:04:50,950 --> 00:04:52,348
You sabotaged the entire thing.
52
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:54,048
You were dickmatized.
53
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:55,915
Explain yourself. Come here.
54
00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:57,315
You were in love with his dick.
55
00:04:57,317 --> 00:04:59,781
You only talked about
how great the sex was.
56
00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:01,215
You never talked about anything
57
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,981
that you actually
liked about him
58
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:06,048
or anything that you guys
had in common.
59
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:08,115
Why did you guys
not tell me sooner?
60
00:05:08,117 --> 00:05:11,148
Oh, God. We didn't wanna
interrupt your dickathalon.
61
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:12,815
Plus, Missy beloved him,
62
00:05:12,817 --> 00:05:14,915
and you don't like
to disappoint Missy.
63
00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:17,215
I mean, nobody does.
64
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,282
She convinced me
I was straight once.
65
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:19,915
Remember Michael?
66
00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:22,376
Oh, my God.
I was doing him for my mom.
67
00:05:26,217 --> 00:05:28,248
And you liked it.
68
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,781
It's my fault.
69
00:05:30,783 --> 00:05:33,148
Actually,
it's your father's fault.
70
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,781
He let you be too American.
71
00:05:35,783 --> 00:05:38,943
But it's not too late.
We can fix this.
72
00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:46,315
- Hello.
- Oh, Ziba.
73
00:05:46,317 --> 00:05:49,210
Hi, how are you?
74
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:52,815
Nousha, come.
75
00:05:52,817 --> 00:05:54,948
Hi, Aunt Sousa.
76
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,881
Nousha, what happened to
that rock on your finger?
77
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:59,881
They weren't good enough.
78
00:05:59,883 --> 00:06:01,748
I heard they were
filing for bankruptcy.
79
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,315
Mom!
80
00:06:03,317 --> 00:06:05,082
He was impotent.
81
00:06:05,084 --> 00:06:06,848
That's not true.
It didn't work out.
82
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,182
Oh, don't worry, Aziza.
83
00:06:09,184 --> 00:06:10,815
Don't worry. I have a son.
84
00:06:10,817 --> 00:06:12,681
30 years old,
and he likes older women.
85
00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:14,315
I wanna show the picture.
Look at that.
86
00:06:14,317 --> 00:06:15,382
Look at the picture.
87
00:06:15,384 --> 00:06:17,215
Here, here, look at that.
88
00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:18,276
More, more.
89
00:06:22,384 --> 00:06:24,709
Look at that one.
Look at this one.
90
00:06:26,783 --> 00:06:28,748
- Wow.
- He's just like his father
91
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,809
in that department.
92
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,714
Look at that.
93
00:06:34,716 --> 00:06:36,410
Look at that boy.
94
00:06:44,217 --> 00:06:46,048
- Hi.
- Hi.
95
00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:48,781
Are you okay?
96
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,709
So sorry, Noush.
97
00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:54,443
- Hi.
- You okay?
98
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,681
Nousha, are you coming to
the rally tomorrow night?
99
00:06:58,683 --> 00:06:59,681
Yas.
100
00:06:59,683 --> 00:07:01,148
- Yas?
- Yes.
101
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,681
We need at least 100 people
there to get some press.
102
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,648
Babe, I'll be there.
103
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:06,748
You better be.
104
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,315
- Yeah.
- Hang in there, girl.
105
00:07:08,317 --> 00:07:10,048
Lynne, does everybody
know my business?
106
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,115
Yeah. RJ, are you coming
to the rally tomorrow?
107
00:07:12,117 --> 00:07:13,948
- Yeah.
- Okay, good.
108
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,648
You shared it on all of our
social media platforms, right?
109
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:16,981
It's been on Facebook,
110
00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:18,881
and everybody has said
they were coming.
111
00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:20,815
- There's like 100 people.
- I'll believe it when I see it.
112
00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:22,015
Everyone's a Facebook activist.
113
00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:23,148
When it comes to
actually showing up,
114
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,915
they'd rather go to happy hour.
115
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:27,048
Happy hour is more fun than
protesting sexual assault.
116
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:29,382
- Shut up, RJ.
- Okay, okay, enough, enough.
117
00:07:29,384 --> 00:07:32,681
Did you get all the declarations
for the Jones' case?
118
00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:34,015
Thank you.
119
00:07:34,017 --> 00:07:35,015
I need your draft of the memo.
120
00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:36,781
I'm 100% on it.
121
00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:38,748
It's just that part of
the research was unclear,
122
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,015
so I had to verify
with co-counsel
123
00:07:40,017 --> 00:07:41,681
and they're really slow
to respond.
124
00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:44,648
I don't care.
Just figure it out today.
125
00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:47,015
Actually, I was able
to get clarification.
126
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:48,648
- I finished the draft.
- Great.
127
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:51,415
I figured you had
so much on your plate.
128
00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:53,648
I don't need you to do my job.
I was on it.
129
00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:55,248
I heard you got dumped.
130
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,115
- Out of my office.
- Please show up for the rally.
131
00:07:57,117 --> 00:08:00,182
- Do not leave me hanging.
- We're coming to your rally.
132
00:08:00,184 --> 00:08:03,648
And just so you know,
I'm available.
133
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,382
- No.
- You sure?
134
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,382
I'll make sure you get
a gold medal at this...
135
00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:09,815
dickathalon.
136
00:08:09,817 --> 00:08:11,182
Lynne?
137
00:08:11,184 --> 00:08:12,915
What's up, sweetie?
138
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:14,781
Did you tell
everybody my business?
139
00:08:14,783 --> 00:08:16,781
I definitely did.
See you at the rally.
140
00:08:16,783 --> 00:08:19,276
I'm sorry, are you all
still in my office?
141
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:23,709
I will think about it.
142
00:08:30,817 --> 00:08:33,215
I can't sleep
until you get married.
143
00:08:33,217 --> 00:08:35,176
I can probably get you
some Ambien.
144
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,415
I don't think
you tried hard enough.
145
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,748
What if I didn't really
like him, Mom?
146
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,115
You should try again.
147
00:08:42,117 --> 00:08:44,408
You're running out of time,
you know?
148
00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:47,981
She's a lesbian.
149
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:50,648
Maybe you should stop
hanging out with those girls.
150
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:53,282
Mom, get off my case, okay?
151
00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,148
I need some time to find myself.
152
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:57,015
Oh, find yourself.
153
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,714
What do you mean, find yourself?
154
00:08:58,716 --> 00:09:01,848
There you are, I found you.
Now find a husband.
155
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:06,015
How has marriage even
survived as an institution?
156
00:09:06,017 --> 00:09:09,714
Our values have totally shifted.
157
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,315
There's been radical
social upheaval,
158
00:09:12,317 --> 00:09:16,048
gender equality,
female empowerment.
159
00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:17,648
I have arranged for you
to go out
160
00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:19,315
with Dr. Asad's son tomorrow.
161
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:21,915
- I can't tomorrow.
- He has a PhD.
162
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:23,714
It's Lynne's protest tomorrow,
Mom. I can't.
163
00:09:23,716 --> 00:09:26,915
You go to protests all the time.
164
00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:28,948
What's wrong with you?
165
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:29,948
Are you a communist?
166
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:32,115
All lesbians are communists.
167
00:09:32,117 --> 00:09:33,915
Careful.
168
00:09:33,917 --> 00:09:35,148
Aren't they?
169
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:37,315
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
170
00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:38,848
Patriarchy has got to go!
171
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,981
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
172
00:09:40,983 --> 00:09:42,648
Patriarchy has got to go!
173
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,681
I can't believe this turnout.
I knew it.
174
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,648
I thought people
cared more than this.
175
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:47,981
Everybody's at happy hour.
176
00:09:47,983 --> 00:09:49,415
Here, just maybe
this'll liven things up.
177
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,315
Hold this. I hold every...
178
00:09:51,317 --> 00:09:53,415
- Oh, ho!
- Yeah.
179
00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:55,681
Way to challenge the male gays.
180
00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:57,948
While I beat around that bush.
181
00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,348
That is huge.
182
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,848
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
Patriarchy has got to go!
183
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:03,182
Oh, my God, it's the Menstruals.
184
00:10:03,184 --> 00:10:04,848
- Who are they?
- This old male feminist group.
185
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:06,148
I read about them on Buzzfeed.
186
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:08,115
They like show up and protest.
187
00:10:08,117 --> 00:10:10,781
They're performance artists,
just doin' stuff like that.
188
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:12,881
Hi, guys. Mind if we join?
189
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,348
We would love that.
How did you hear about this?
190
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,748
Are you kidding?
We're all huge followers
191
00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,282
of Pussies Against Patriarchy.
192
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,282
That's my page.
193
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,648
Oh, cool.
194
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,082
Hi, I'm Alex.
195
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,781
- I'm Lynne.
- I'm Tessa.
196
00:10:22,783 --> 00:10:24,082
I'm Nousha.
197
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:26,909
Hi, Nousha. I love your penis.
198
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:30,182
Thanks. Let's do this!
199
00:10:30,184 --> 00:10:31,382
All right.
200
00:10:31,384 --> 00:10:33,282
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
201
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,048
Patriarchy has got to go!
202
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,915
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
203
00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:38,648
Patriarchy has got to go!
204
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:40,748
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
205
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:41,948
Patriarchy has got to go!
206
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:43,176
Hey, hey!
207
00:10:45,384 --> 00:10:47,282
Patriarchy has got to go!
208
00:10:47,284 --> 00:10:49,315
Hey, hey, ho, ho!
209
00:10:49,317 --> 00:10:50,415
Patriarchy has got to go!
210
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,148
Hey, Nousha, wait up.
211
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:53,748
Hey, do you wanna come with us
212
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,648
to the anti-oligarchy
rally downtown?
213
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,015
It'll be fun.
214
00:10:57,017 --> 00:10:59,015
I can't, but thank you
for the invite.
215
00:10:59,017 --> 00:11:02,007
Okay, I got a great shot
of you and your penis saved.
216
00:11:02,917 --> 00:11:04,415
I could send it to you.
217
00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:07,842
Yeah, sure. Here's my card.
218
00:11:08,817 --> 00:11:10,115
There you go.
219
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:12,348
Oh, card. That's really '90s.
220
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,909
Great, yeah. Hit me up. Cool.
221
00:11:17,117 --> 00:11:18,714
Okay, well, have fun.
222
00:11:18,716 --> 00:11:20,748
- See ya.
- Okay.
223
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:22,210
Bye.
224
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,376
She's here.
225
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,215
Oh, hi, Nousha.
Look who came by for a visit.
226
00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,714
- Hello.
- Hi.
227
00:11:50,716 --> 00:11:52,082
Hi.
228
00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:55,210
Why don't you get some tea
for our guests?
229
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:04,243
She's so cute.
230
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,815
Mom, can you
come in here, please?
231
00:12:15,817 --> 00:12:17,681
Excuse me.
232
00:12:17,683 --> 00:12:18,876
Of course.
233
00:12:25,017 --> 00:12:26,443
What?
234
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:29,148
Tell 'em to leave.
235
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:32,948
Oh, my God.
236
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:35,176
You're killing me.
237
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,148
Unfortunately,
she's not feeling well.
238
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,976
So sorry.
239
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:04,148
Oh, hey there, Ms. Smiley.
240
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,248
That guy just texted me.
241
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,382
- Who?
- The guy.
242
00:13:07,384 --> 00:13:10,082
Oh, yeah, I saw your little
moment with Menstrual white boy.
243
00:13:10,084 --> 00:13:11,315
- Did you text him back?
- No.
244
00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:12,382
Ask him out.
245
00:13:12,384 --> 00:13:14,714
I don't even know him.
246
00:13:14,716 --> 00:13:16,443
- Let's stalk.
- Yes.
247
00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:21,115
Alex Talbot.
248
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:22,115
Talbot.
249
00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:23,781
Okay.
250
00:13:23,783 --> 00:13:26,182
Okay, according
to his Facebook interest
251
00:13:26,184 --> 00:13:28,315
he's a feminist,
he's into conceptual art,
252
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:30,781
supporter of LGBT causes
and even deejays.
253
00:13:30,783 --> 00:13:33,282
- This guy's awesome.
- But not husband material.
254
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:35,015
I'll never bring a guy
like that home.
255
00:13:35,017 --> 00:13:36,382
My parents would freak out.
256
00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:38,714
Plus, look at his pictures.
He's gay.
257
00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:40,348
You don't know that.
Just message him.
258
00:13:40,350 --> 00:13:42,681
- No.
- What is going on in here?
259
00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:44,748
- No, no, no, no, no.
- That's what's happening.
260
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:45,815
No!
261
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:47,015
Oh!
262
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:48,415
Are you texting him right now?
263
00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:51,476
- I got you, girl.
- What are you typing?
264
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:54,774
Ding! Looks like you got a date.
265
00:13:57,050 --> 00:14:00,248
Back on the market.
266
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:04,876
I'm also
still on the market, so...
267
00:14:08,384 --> 00:14:11,210
Hmm? Did you say something?
268
00:14:23,184 --> 00:14:26,015
Okay, tell me
three things about you.
269
00:14:26,017 --> 00:14:29,981
I grew up in Orange County,
but my parents are from Iran.
270
00:14:29,983 --> 00:14:34,015
You know, that super peaceful
country in the Middle East.
271
00:14:34,017 --> 00:14:35,048
- I've heard of it.
- Mm-hmm.
272
00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:37,415
And... I don't know.
273
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:39,015
Something fun.
274
00:14:39,017 --> 00:14:40,915
- I don't know.
- Okay, something like...
275
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:43,382
who's your favorite
celebrity crush?
276
00:14:43,384 --> 00:14:44,681
David Hasselhoff.
277
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:47,415
Just like that? Mine too.
278
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:50,248
Really?
279
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:51,781
What about you?
280
00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:53,842
Okay, I'd never
tell anyone this.
281
00:14:55,783 --> 00:14:58,815
- Celine Dion.
- You're joking.
282
00:14:58,817 --> 00:15:01,115
Nope. She's smoking.
Ever since I was 12 years old,
283
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,648
I see her, I hear her,
I am rock hard.
284
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,415
Okay, that's super weird
285
00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:08,248
because I do a killer
Celine Dion impersonation.
286
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,981
- No.
- Yes,
287
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:12,248
My mom was obsessed with her
when I was growing up,
288
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,881
so I would imitate her
to make my mom like me.
289
00:15:14,883 --> 00:15:17,748
Okay, do it.
290
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,648
No way. That's like second date
291
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:22,681
or like way down the line later.
292
00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:25,148
- Do it.
- No way.
293
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,148
Do it.
294
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:27,948
Mm-mm, absolutely not.
295
00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:29,648
Do it, do it, do it,
296
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:33,182
and I will give you
all of my fries.
297
00:15:33,184 --> 00:15:34,848
Every single one.
298
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:38,115
You are very lucky I like fries.
299
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:39,781
Do it.
300
00:15:39,783 --> 00:15:41,343
Okay, but close your eyes.
301
00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:53,415
♪ There were nights
when the wind was so cold ♪
302
00:15:53,417 --> 00:15:56,082
♪ That my body froze in bed ♪
303
00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:59,348
♪ If I just listened to it ♪
304
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:02,781
♪ Right outside my window ♪
305
00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:05,415
Oh, my God,
that's shockingly good.
306
00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:07,815
Your turn.
307
00:16:07,817 --> 00:16:08,948
I can't even think. I'm so hard.
308
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,315
Three things, come on.
309
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:14,048
Okay, I am an artist,
310
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:19,048
I'm from California, and...
312
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:21,148
my family is weird.
313
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:26,415
That's funny 'cause my family's
actually totally normal.
314
00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,148
Can I have a bite?
315
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,376
Yeah, sure.
316
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,248
Why didn't you just order one?
317
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,282
I was trying to be ladylike.
318
00:16:37,284 --> 00:16:38,648
Come on.
319
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,376
It's so good.
320
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:47,243
That guy is totally
checking you out.
321
00:16:49,284 --> 00:16:51,748
Yeah, he's cute.
322
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,282
Oh!
323
00:16:53,284 --> 00:16:54,714
You're gay.
324
00:16:54,716 --> 00:16:57,248
No, I'm just not
totally straight.
325
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,215
So you're bisexual.
326
00:16:59,217 --> 00:17:01,348
If you're into labels.
327
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:05,015
But you're attracted to men.
328
00:17:05,017 --> 00:17:07,276
I'm attracted to you.
329
00:17:11,184 --> 00:17:13,115
You said I could
have your fries.
330
00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:14,282
Absolutely every single one.
331
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,048
So you can have
this rabbit food.
332
00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:17,748
All for me?
I'm gonna eat your fries.
333
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,648
It's delicious.
334
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:21,915
It's a great neighborhood.
335
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,276
I like it.
336
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:27,248
How many more blocks?
337
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:30,115
Why do you wear heels like that?
You cripple your feet.
338
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,648
Take them off.
339
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:32,714
And walk barefoot?
340
00:17:32,716 --> 00:17:33,948
Yeah.
341
00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:35,082
I'll get foot cancer.
342
00:17:35,084 --> 00:17:36,915
Okay, piggyback.
343
00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:38,714
- Really?
- Hop on, yeah.
344
00:17:38,716 --> 00:17:43,714
Okay.
345
00:17:43,716 --> 00:17:44,948
- Only 10...
- This is great.
346
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:47,876
Ten more blocks.
347
00:17:56,716 --> 00:17:58,148
Is this where you work?
348
00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,809
And sleep.
349
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,948
Okay, what do you think of this?
350
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,981
I'm not gonna lie to you.
I don't know anything about art.
351
00:18:07,983 --> 00:18:09,648
No, no, that's great.
What would your gut say?
352
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:11,415
It looks like a kindergarten
class project.
353
00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:14,648
Okay, I really felt like
it was made by an adult.
354
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:17,648
No. You know, I really think
it was made by little hands.
355
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,315
I was going for
postmodern irony.
356
00:18:19,317 --> 00:18:21,748
- Oh, you're the kindergartner.
- I'm the kindergartner.
357
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:25,215
What I meant to say is it looks
like it was made by a genius.
358
00:18:25,217 --> 00:18:27,881
- Genius.
- Who is acutely in touch...
359
00:18:27,883 --> 00:18:29,714
- With inner child.
- With his inner child.
360
00:18:29,716 --> 00:18:31,815
Yeah, it's cool.
It's just my life's work.
361
00:18:31,817 --> 00:18:33,981
- Come up here.
- No, thanks.
362
00:18:33,983 --> 00:18:35,648
You have to see this one
from up here.
363
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,182
Can you just take a picture
and then send it to me?
364
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,243
It's safe.
365
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:41,648
Come on.
366
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:46,115
Ooh! This does not feel stable.
367
00:18:46,117 --> 00:18:48,348
It's as stable
as my parents' marriage.
368
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:49,809
Great.
369
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:53,048
Come here. You see it?
370
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,182
Yeah.
371
00:18:54,184 --> 00:18:56,074
Open your eyes.
372
00:18:58,284 --> 00:19:00,048
I got you, I got you.
You see it?
373
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:04,148
Okay, so the objects represent
how thin and deflating
374
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:05,415
traditional notions
of masculinity are,
375
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:07,115
and the sports themselves,
376
00:19:07,117 --> 00:19:09,348
they show us
the unnecessary aggression
377
00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:11,948
with which man seeks to dominate
everything that he does.
378
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,709
And then the baseball...
379
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,382
Thanks for making
the first move.
380
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,143
You're welcome.
381
00:19:40,217 --> 00:19:42,082
You're kinda taking
advantage of me.
382
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:43,315
I don't even know
your last name.
383
00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:46,648
- It's Husseini.
- Husseini?
384
00:19:46,650 --> 00:19:48,248
Yeah, like Saddam Hussein.
385
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:50,681
Oh, that's hot.
You're like a dictator.
386
00:19:50,683 --> 00:19:53,382
Well, in high school,
387
00:19:53,384 --> 00:19:55,115
they actually called me
Saddam Hussein
388
00:19:55,117 --> 00:19:57,415
because I had a unibrow.
389
00:19:57,417 --> 00:19:59,382
That's so cruel.
390
00:19:59,384 --> 00:20:01,881
You wanna know what they
called me in high school?
391
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:03,943
Andy Warhol queer boy.
392
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:08,048
That's actually kinda accurate.
393
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:10,976
You know what? You are
kinda like Saddam Hussein.
394
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,848
What time is it?
395
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,282
10:30.
396
00:20:21,284 --> 00:20:24,115
See? She gives a whole new
meaning to CP time.
397
00:20:24,117 --> 00:20:25,248
I don't know what that is.
398
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,915
Colored people time.
399
00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:30,015
I don't think I'm allowed
to use that expression.
400
00:20:30,017 --> 00:20:32,742
- Well!
- There she is.
401
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,848
- How did it go?
- Amazing, incredible.
402
00:20:36,850 --> 00:20:39,048
He's the greatest person
that's ever lived. I love him.
403
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:40,915
So it went well.
404
00:20:40,917 --> 00:20:43,182
Yes, but...
405
00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:45,315
Oh, already she's starting
to pick him apart.
406
00:20:45,317 --> 00:20:47,714
- He's just...
- Not Persian. He's not Persian.
407
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,981
He's never gonna fit
into my family.
408
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:52,781
He's this free-spirited artist
who's funny and gentle
409
00:20:52,783 --> 00:20:54,115
and sensitive and progressive,
410
00:20:54,117 --> 00:20:55,848
and I'm from
a family of fascists
411
00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:57,348
who are gonna Mussolini him
outta my life
412
00:20:57,350 --> 00:20:58,681
if they ever meet him.
413
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:00,215
Whoa, girl, slow down.
414
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,348
You didn't tell him
all that, did you?
415
00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:02,748
Not exactly.
416
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:04,781
- He's also bisexual.
- Huh.
417
00:21:04,783 --> 00:21:06,348
It's not a big deal.
418
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,148
No. I mean Tessa's bi.
419
00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:09,848
I used to get really jealous
when men would look at her,
420
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,382
but then my therapist
helped me realize
421
00:21:11,384 --> 00:21:13,182
that I'm not replaceable.
422
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:16,041
- No, you're not.
- I'm bi for David Beckham.
423
00:21:17,783 --> 00:21:19,348
What?
424
00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:21,115
I'm going to work.
425
00:21:21,117 --> 00:21:23,709
You're so confusing.
426
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:30,076
- You don't look it.
- "Gay for David Beckham."
427
00:21:33,350 --> 00:21:35,215
Thank you.
428
00:21:35,217 --> 00:21:37,048
Thank you.
429
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:40,781
So who's your favorite
family member?
430
00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:42,248
I don't really have one.
431
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:46,215
Come on, white man,
you gotta love someone.
432
00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:50,082
Steven, my dad's husband.
433
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:52,215
Oh.
434
00:21:52,217 --> 00:21:54,315
- So your parents...
- Are divorced.
435
00:21:54,317 --> 00:21:57,781
- Huh.
- And my dad met a great guy.
436
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,881
What was that like?
437
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:02,148
Pretty fucked up. How 'bout you?
438
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:04,182
- My grandma.
- Okay.
439
00:22:04,184 --> 00:22:07,315
- She's my whole world.
- Aww.
440
00:22:07,317 --> 00:22:09,915
My mom's gonna wanna drink
a bottle of the best tequila
441
00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,915
with you until you have
to put her to bed.
442
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,714
That's amazing.
443
00:22:13,716 --> 00:22:15,248
My mom's gonna wanna make
you feel super inadequate
444
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,248
in everything that you do
or will ever do.
445
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:18,681
She sounds great.
446
00:22:18,683 --> 00:22:22,148
Fair warning,
my family is kinda nuts.
447
00:22:22,150 --> 00:22:23,781
My family's nuts too,
448
00:22:23,783 --> 00:22:25,881
but in an entirely
different way.
449
00:22:25,883 --> 00:22:27,382
I mean, we had to stick together
450
00:22:27,384 --> 00:22:30,748
to make it through war
and immigration.
451
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,915
We're kinda like a tribe.
452
00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:34,781
That's cool.
453
00:22:34,783 --> 00:22:37,182
I've never felt like
part of a tribe.
454
00:22:37,184 --> 00:22:39,709
It can be stifling.
455
00:22:41,817 --> 00:22:43,915
We can be a tribe.
456
00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:45,915
I will happily stifle you.
457
00:22:45,917 --> 00:22:48,907
I wanna be part of your tribe
and be stifled.
458
00:22:52,117 --> 00:22:53,714
What is it that you do exactly?
459
00:22:53,716 --> 00:22:55,282
I'm a housing attorney.
460
00:22:55,284 --> 00:22:58,115
I litigate for low-income
tenants against big developers,
461
00:22:58,117 --> 00:23:01,915
mostly hang out in this office
or in conference rooms.
462
00:23:01,917 --> 00:23:03,748
Hey, Alex,
great to see you again.
463
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,881
We met at the rally.
464
00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:06,848
- Hi.
- Hey, I'm Doris.
465
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:07,848
Nice to meet you.
466
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:09,182
- Pleasure.
- 'Sup!
467
00:23:09,184 --> 00:23:12,681
Not much, bro.
468
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:14,082
These are my coworkers.
469
00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,981
- Bye, guys.
- Okay, bye.
470
00:23:15,983 --> 00:23:17,148
- Okay.
- Bye-bye.
471
00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:18,648
- Bye.
- Bye.
472
00:23:18,650 --> 00:23:21,215
- Short and sweet.
- Bye.
473
00:23:21,217 --> 00:23:23,182
Bye.
474
00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:24,781
Do you wanna go
literally anywhere else?
475
00:23:24,783 --> 00:23:26,943
- Sure, yeah.
- Anywhere else.
476
00:23:29,650 --> 00:23:32,415
This is as exciting as it gets.
477
00:23:32,417 --> 00:23:36,648
Are you kidding?
Your job's so cool.
478
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:39,348
Have I ever told you that
I always wanted to be an actor?
479
00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:41,348
- Actor?
- Mm-hmm.
480
00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:45,714
But my parents were immigrants,
and I couldn't do that to them.
481
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:51,648
You know, you actually look
amazing in this light.
482
00:23:51,650 --> 00:23:53,748
Can we make out here?
483
00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:57,082
Yes, but I don't want
the judge to see it.
484
00:23:57,084 --> 00:24:00,143
I laugh in the face of danger.
485
00:24:05,084 --> 00:24:07,115
Your job's so much cooler
than mine.
486
00:24:07,117 --> 00:24:09,009
- You think so?
- Yeah.
487
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:11,714
Pretty dead though.
488
00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:14,915
It's a quiet night.
Means we can play what we want.
489
00:24:14,917 --> 00:24:16,748
So what's your
signature dance move?
490
00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:19,182
I can only dance
to Persian music.
491
00:24:19,184 --> 00:24:21,115
Eastern beats.
492
00:24:21,117 --> 00:24:23,815
You got it. Floor's yours.
493
00:24:23,817 --> 00:24:26,174
- No.
- Come on.
494
00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:29,943
- All right.
- Go on.
495
00:24:31,983 --> 00:24:33,981
First, you take your basket,
496
00:24:33,983 --> 00:24:37,714
and you plant your seeds, okay?
497
00:24:37,716 --> 00:24:39,415
- And then you take your hose...
- My hose?
498
00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:41,382
- And you water your seed.
- Oh, I like that.
499
00:24:41,384 --> 00:24:43,915
You water your seed.
All about the heat.
500
00:24:43,917 --> 00:24:45,681
And then you feed
your seed to grow.
501
00:24:45,683 --> 00:24:47,815
- That's sexy.
- Feed your seed to grow.
502
00:24:47,817 --> 00:24:50,282
And now your trees have bloomed,
503
00:24:50,284 --> 00:24:53,208
and you must harvest
the fruit, okay?
504
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,382
- Okay.
- Thank you.
505
00:25:03,384 --> 00:25:05,443
- Serious question.
- Hmm.
506
00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:09,382
Have you told
your parents about me?
507
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:11,048
Why would I ever do that?
508
00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:12,714
Because I told my parents
about you.
509
00:25:12,716 --> 00:25:15,881
- No, you haven't.
- Yeah, I have.
510
00:25:15,883 --> 00:25:17,648
What'd you tell 'em?
511
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,148
I told them I met
this really rad girl.
512
00:25:20,150 --> 00:25:21,881
Why haven't you told
your mom about me?
513
00:25:21,883 --> 00:25:24,348
Don't you talk to her
like 21 times a day?
514
00:25:24,350 --> 00:25:26,948
- Are you ashamed of me?
- No.
515
00:25:26,950 --> 00:25:29,048
You're ashamed of me.
516
00:25:29,050 --> 00:25:31,248
- They're just...
- Gimme that.
517
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:33,248
They're just really
into our culture.
518
00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:36,048
I have to ease them into this.
519
00:25:36,050 --> 00:25:38,048
I made something for you.
520
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:39,714
- What?
- Come see.
521
00:25:39,716 --> 00:25:41,182
I'm way too high
to walk right now.
522
00:25:41,184 --> 00:25:43,742
Come on, take the chips.
523
00:25:47,783 --> 00:25:49,348
Wow.
524
00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:52,015
That is some romantic shit.
525
00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:54,382
It's Saddam Hussein
and Andy Warhol kissing.
526
00:25:54,384 --> 00:25:56,107
I noticed.
527
00:25:57,217 --> 00:26:00,048
- Hey.
- Mm.
528
00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:02,109
Let's move in together.
529
00:26:03,817 --> 00:26:06,048
- Really?
- Yeah.
530
00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:09,115
- For real?
- Yup.
531
00:26:09,117 --> 00:26:10,681
It's not too soon?
532
00:26:10,683 --> 00:26:11,943
No.
533
00:26:13,284 --> 00:26:15,382
Let's do it.
534
00:26:15,384 --> 00:26:18,015
But we can't live here.
535
00:26:18,017 --> 00:26:19,048
Why?
536
00:26:19,050 --> 00:26:22,374
Your bathroom's outside.
537
00:26:28,084 --> 00:26:31,382
Would you feel oppressed
if I asked you to do the dishes?
538
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:34,842
Yes, I would feel
very oppressed.
539
00:26:39,650 --> 00:26:40,948
Would you feel oppressed
540
00:26:40,950 --> 00:26:42,714
if I asked you
to take out the garbage?
541
00:26:42,716 --> 00:26:47,648
Super-oppressive.
Wouldn't be able to handle it.
542
00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:49,143
Thought so.
543
00:26:54,650 --> 00:26:57,348
What if I locked you up,
544
00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:59,176
tied you to the bed
and impregnated you?
545
00:27:00,917 --> 00:27:03,276
That wouldn't be so bad.
I can do that.
546
00:27:08,284 --> 00:27:09,382
I love you.
547
00:27:09,384 --> 00:27:10,909
I love you.
548
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:34,248
- Let's do it again.
- We already did it twice.
549
00:27:34,250 --> 00:27:37,282
Should I sing the song?
550
00:27:37,284 --> 00:27:38,315
Yes.
551
00:27:38,317 --> 00:27:40,348
Wig or no wig?
552
00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:42,215
With the wig.
553
00:27:42,217 --> 00:27:46,443
♪ Whispers in the morning ♪
554
00:27:50,983 --> 00:27:52,382
- Oh, it's my mom.
- Oh, okay.
555
00:27:52,384 --> 00:27:54,148
- No, I have to get it.
- No, stay down here.
556
00:27:54,150 --> 00:27:55,948
I didn't answer the first.
She'll freak out.
557
00:27:55,950 --> 00:27:58,248
Are you kidding?
558
00:27:58,250 --> 00:27:59,981
- Video?
- Please hide, please.
559
00:27:59,983 --> 00:28:01,348
Hide where?
560
00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:02,915
Hi, Mom.
561
00:28:02,917 --> 00:28:04,848
- Hello.
- Hi.
562
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,848
- Can you see me?
- Yup, I see you, Mom.
563
00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:09,915
Good. Now, do you
remember Fariba?
564
00:28:09,917 --> 00:28:11,981
- Uh-huh.
- Do you remember her son?
565
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:15,848
- Yeah, sure.
- He has invited you to dinner.
566
00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:18,082
What's that?
Is that a naked man?
567
00:28:18,084 --> 00:28:20,282
- Babe!
- Oh, my God.
568
00:28:20,284 --> 00:28:22,815
- Oh, did she see me?
- Is he naked?
569
00:28:22,817 --> 00:28:25,781
What's a naked man
doing in your room?
570
00:28:25,783 --> 00:28:27,815
At least now she knows.
571
00:28:27,817 --> 00:28:29,909
Nousha! Nousha!
572
00:28:31,783 --> 00:28:34,709
I'm so excited
to finally meet your family.
573
00:28:36,317 --> 00:28:39,215
Just don't say anything.
574
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:42,981
You know, like if they
ask you something, eat.
575
00:28:42,983 --> 00:28:44,981
- I have to reply.
- No, you don't.
576
00:28:44,983 --> 00:28:48,215
No, just put something
in your mouth and chew.
577
00:28:48,217 --> 00:28:51,143
You got this. We got this.
578
00:28:55,684 --> 00:29:00,684
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
579
00:29:04,983 --> 00:29:06,348
This is amazing.
580
00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:08,315
Thank you so much
for having me over.
581
00:29:08,317 --> 00:29:10,148
Of course.
582
00:29:10,150 --> 00:29:12,848
You're so welcome.
583
00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:15,043
So far, so good.
584
00:29:16,783 --> 00:29:19,915
Nousha tells us
you're a musical engineer.
585
00:29:19,917 --> 00:29:21,842
Did she?
586
00:29:23,683 --> 00:29:26,315
Yeah, kinda.
587
00:29:26,317 --> 00:29:30,009
Actually, I'm engineer too.
588
00:29:31,750 --> 00:29:33,981
- Really?
- Civil engineer.
589
00:29:33,983 --> 00:29:35,248
Cool.
590
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:36,714
Did you go to Harvard?
591
00:29:36,716 --> 00:29:39,781
Mother, not everyone
goes to Harvard.
592
00:29:39,783 --> 00:29:41,115
Oxford?
593
00:29:41,117 --> 00:29:43,282
No, wait, LSE,
594
00:29:43,284 --> 00:29:44,415
the London School of Economics.
595
00:29:44,417 --> 00:29:47,182
Nope, none of the above.
596
00:29:47,184 --> 00:29:48,709
Princeton?
597
00:29:57,350 --> 00:30:00,748
You know, I'm sorry,
I didn't go to Harvard,
598
00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:03,681
and I'm not an engineer.
599
00:30:03,683 --> 00:30:07,415
Um, I went to
Goddard College in Vermont.
600
00:30:07,417 --> 00:30:09,182
No?
601
00:30:09,184 --> 00:30:11,215
Okay.
602
00:30:11,217 --> 00:30:14,315
I'm an artist,
and a I'm a deejay,
603
00:30:14,317 --> 00:30:17,648
and I love your daughter
very much.
604
00:30:17,650 --> 00:30:21,714
In fact, the best part of my day
605
00:30:21,716 --> 00:30:23,443
is waking up together.
606
00:30:25,716 --> 00:30:28,443
Excuse me? Um...
607
00:30:29,917 --> 00:30:34,215
What do you mean,
waking up together?
608
00:30:34,217 --> 00:30:37,943
You mean you are
living together?
609
00:30:42,817 --> 00:30:45,282
Mm.
610
00:30:45,284 --> 00:30:47,109
So good.
611
00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:52,709
I need some fresh air.
612
00:31:02,284 --> 00:31:04,248
Can I talk to you for a second?
613
00:31:04,250 --> 00:31:06,182
How could you not tell them
anything about me?
614
00:31:06,184 --> 00:31:07,948
I don't know. It never came up.
615
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:10,681
That's insane. How could you
put me in that position?
616
00:31:10,683 --> 00:31:11,915
I wanted to hold off
putting you through this
617
00:31:11,917 --> 00:31:13,382
for as long as possible.
618
00:31:13,384 --> 00:31:15,215
- What do you mean?
- Let me break it down for you.
619
00:31:15,217 --> 00:31:18,115
First, my dad is going to
get angry and brokenhearted,
620
00:31:18,117 --> 00:31:21,115
and then my mom is going to try
to pressure us to get married,
621
00:31:21,117 --> 00:31:23,215
and when we say no,
she's going to freak out
622
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:24,415
because I'm her only chance
623
00:31:24,417 --> 00:31:25,981
at throwing a lavish
Persian wedding
624
00:31:25,983 --> 00:31:27,815
in front of all of
her family and friends.
625
00:31:27,817 --> 00:31:30,815
- Oh, Christ.
- Look, just stay strong.
626
00:31:30,817 --> 00:31:32,781
Okay? Don't give in.
627
00:31:32,783 --> 00:31:34,182
- Drink your tea.
- Drink my tea.
628
00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:35,348
- Drink your tea.
- Drink my tea.
629
00:31:35,350 --> 00:31:37,815
- Drink your tea.
- Drink my tea.
630
00:31:37,817 --> 00:31:40,648
So you are living together?
631
00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:42,115
Then you need to get married.
632
00:31:42,117 --> 00:31:44,348
We wanna try
just living together first.
633
00:31:44,350 --> 00:31:47,714
If you want to live together,
you have to first get married.
634
00:31:47,716 --> 00:31:49,415
She's so right.
635
00:31:49,417 --> 00:31:51,148
We need more time.
636
00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:54,074
We're still getting
to know each other.
637
00:32:00,783 --> 00:32:03,415
If you really
get to know each other,
638
00:32:03,417 --> 00:32:05,348
you'll never get married. Never.
639
00:32:05,350 --> 00:32:08,182
I knew your father
for one day only.
640
00:32:08,184 --> 00:32:11,015
You get to know each other
after the wedding.
641
00:32:11,017 --> 00:32:12,215
Wedding?
642
00:32:12,217 --> 00:32:15,148
Yes, wedding.
643
00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:17,382
That's how people marry.
They have weddings.
644
00:32:17,384 --> 00:32:20,748
We don't want to get married.
645
00:32:20,750 --> 00:32:23,282
And even if we did,
we don't want a wedding.
646
00:32:23,284 --> 00:32:24,815
Why not?
647
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:28,681
No wedding, no marriage,
no living together.
648
00:32:28,683 --> 00:32:30,182
It's a package, you see?
649
00:32:30,184 --> 00:32:33,048
What about if we registered
as domestic partners?
650
00:32:33,050 --> 00:32:34,714
What is a domestic partner?
651
00:32:34,716 --> 00:32:36,781
It's an alternative
for those who want
652
00:32:36,783 --> 00:32:39,082
the protection and the benefits
of a partnership,
653
00:32:39,084 --> 00:32:42,648
but don't wanna enter into
the institution of marriage.
654
00:32:42,650 --> 00:32:44,382
Marriage is not an institution.
655
00:32:44,384 --> 00:32:46,248
Marriage is marriage.
656
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,148
People marry to have baby.
657
00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:49,915
- Babies.
- Babies.
658
00:32:49,917 --> 00:32:51,115
- That is so...
- Oppressive.
659
00:32:51,117 --> 00:32:52,241
Thank you.
660
00:33:00,417 --> 00:33:02,781
Mamani, you're not gonna die.
661
00:33:02,783 --> 00:33:05,015
- Oh, yes, I will.
- She might.
662
00:33:05,017 --> 00:33:07,981
Actually, Ziba,
it's time for my shot.
663
00:33:07,983 --> 00:33:09,648
Oh, of course.
664
00:33:09,650 --> 00:33:12,776
I'm so sorry, Mamani.
I'm coming.
665
00:33:15,050 --> 00:33:16,815
Reza.
666
00:33:16,817 --> 00:33:18,215
Alex.
667
00:33:18,217 --> 00:33:19,276
Oh, yeah.
668
00:33:25,817 --> 00:33:27,343
It's done.
669
00:33:29,350 --> 00:33:31,881
I promise you,
we're gonna keep it simple.
670
00:33:31,883 --> 00:33:33,948
Something small in the backyard.
671
00:33:33,950 --> 00:33:35,648
We can do it next month,
672
00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:37,415
when your uncle visits
from Iran.
673
00:33:37,417 --> 00:33:39,215
- Next month?
- Yes.
674
00:33:39,217 --> 00:33:41,282
If they ever let him
in this country,
675
00:33:41,284 --> 00:33:43,015
he can only stay for 10 days.
676
00:33:43,017 --> 00:33:45,282
Don't you wanna do it
for Mamani?
677
00:33:45,284 --> 00:33:46,948
She's been so sad
since Baba died.
678
00:33:46,950 --> 00:33:51,076
Mommy, Baba died 25 years ago.
679
00:33:52,950 --> 00:33:54,881
- Alex.
- Sir?
680
00:33:54,883 --> 00:33:57,809
Don't you wanna
marry my daughter?
681
00:34:02,017 --> 00:34:03,215
Of course.
682
00:34:03,217 --> 00:34:04,248
Done!
683
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:06,315
I'm calling everyone.
684
00:34:06,317 --> 00:34:09,048
- Oh, my God!
- Congratulations!
685
00:34:09,050 --> 00:34:10,915
Welcome to the family, Alex.
686
00:34:10,917 --> 00:34:12,276
Here's to the family.
687
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:15,182
Sweetheart, congratulations.
688
00:34:15,184 --> 00:34:17,109
Oh, congratulations.
689
00:34:20,950 --> 00:34:23,182
Congratulations.
690
00:34:23,184 --> 00:34:24,709
Thank you.
691
00:34:29,050 --> 00:34:31,410
What just happened?
692
00:34:32,983 --> 00:34:35,276
I don't know.
693
00:34:37,817 --> 00:34:40,948
You were supposed to
just drink your tea.
694
00:34:40,950 --> 00:34:43,310
They were so convincing.
695
00:34:47,883 --> 00:34:49,943
Do I propose or do you?
696
00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:17,315
It's so great
that you're all here,
697
00:35:17,317 --> 00:35:18,748
and we're all together.
698
00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:20,015
It's really awesome.
699
00:35:20,017 --> 00:35:22,215
We've heard so much
about you guys.
700
00:35:22,217 --> 00:35:24,981
I'm so happy to finally
meet all of you.
701
00:35:24,983 --> 00:35:26,415
No, we're the happy ones.
702
00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:28,681
Your daughter is
absolutely lovely.
703
00:35:28,683 --> 00:35:29,941
I agree!
704
00:35:31,050 --> 00:35:33,115
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
705
00:35:33,117 --> 00:35:35,148
Cheers.
706
00:35:35,150 --> 00:35:37,343
What is that? That's lovely.
707
00:35:40,184 --> 00:35:42,048
That's a poem
708
00:35:42,050 --> 00:35:45,915
by the 14th century
Persian poet, Hafez.
709
00:35:45,917 --> 00:35:47,881
Greatest poet of all time.
710
00:35:47,883 --> 00:35:51,376
It says...
711
00:35:54,350 --> 00:35:56,714
"Long live love,
712
00:35:56,716 --> 00:36:01,048
for I have not heard
a more merrier word than love."
713
00:36:01,050 --> 00:36:03,415
- That's beautiful.
- It's beautiful.
714
00:36:03,417 --> 00:36:05,815
I had a friend from Riyadh once,
715
00:36:05,817 --> 00:36:08,915
and it's such a pity how
complicated it is over there.
716
00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:12,182
Oh, with all due respect,
actually we are not from Riyadh.
717
00:36:12,184 --> 00:36:14,215
We are from Tehran.
718
00:36:14,217 --> 00:36:16,248
Oh, right.
719
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,848
And just so you know,
720
00:36:17,850 --> 00:36:21,981
no region with oil
will have peace.
721
00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:26,115
And our stellar foreign policy
doesn't help either.
722
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:29,082
Oh, well you're such
a political expert, Steven,
723
00:36:29,084 --> 00:36:32,215
that the next time you go
to the Middle East...
724
00:36:32,217 --> 00:36:34,315
and you may not come back
because we know what they do
725
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:37,714
to people like you over there...
726
00:36:37,716 --> 00:36:39,015
well, I wouldn't care so much.
727
00:36:39,017 --> 00:36:40,382
Go, Team Talbot.
728
00:36:40,384 --> 00:36:42,681
Mamani, could you
pass the baklava?
729
00:36:42,683 --> 00:36:43,881
Thank you so much.
730
00:36:43,883 --> 00:36:46,881
How old was Alex
when you divorced?
731
00:36:46,883 --> 00:36:51,082
When we split, Alex was 16.
732
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:53,009
Oh.
733
00:36:54,783 --> 00:36:57,382
And when did you
get remarried to...
734
00:36:57,384 --> 00:36:59,781
- Steven.
- I'm Steven.
735
00:36:59,783 --> 00:37:01,182
Not long after.
736
00:37:01,184 --> 00:37:02,781
Right.
737
00:37:02,783 --> 00:37:05,848
How soon after?
738
00:37:05,850 --> 00:37:09,215
I mean, did you meet Steven
and realized you were gay,
739
00:37:09,217 --> 00:37:12,848
then get separated and get
together with him and marry him,
740
00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:14,981
or were you feeling
unfulfilled with Maggie
741
00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:16,815
and get separated
and get to meet him
742
00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:19,282
and then you realize
you were gay?
743
00:37:19,284 --> 00:37:20,881
Wow.
744
00:37:20,883 --> 00:37:22,815
Mom, doesn't matter.
745
00:37:22,817 --> 00:37:26,681
I'm just trying to understand
how it all happens in general.
746
00:37:26,683 --> 00:37:29,248
There was overlap.
747
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:30,815
But you knew.
748
00:37:30,817 --> 00:37:33,082
I mean, as a woman,
you must have known.
749
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:36,248
And also, were you friends
with Steven
750
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,815
when your husband met him,
751
00:37:39,817 --> 00:37:43,282
or you became friends
afterwards?
752
00:37:43,284 --> 00:37:44,709
Papa...
753
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:50,109
I was never his friend.
754
00:37:51,317 --> 00:37:53,343
Excuse me.
755
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:55,909
I'm sorry.
756
00:38:02,217 --> 00:38:03,276
I'll go.
757
00:38:07,317 --> 00:38:09,282
Maggie?
758
00:38:09,284 --> 00:38:10,881
I'm sorry.
759
00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:13,048
My mom can be a little pushy.
760
00:38:13,050 --> 00:38:15,781
They're just not used
to all this.
761
00:38:15,783 --> 00:38:17,115
It's not your fault.
762
00:38:17,117 --> 00:38:19,881
It's everything. It's my life.
763
00:38:19,883 --> 00:38:23,082
I never imagined I'd be single
at my son's wedding.
764
00:38:23,084 --> 00:38:25,310
Well, you're doing great.
765
00:38:27,317 --> 00:38:29,748
I'm coming in.
766
00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:31,876
Ohh...
767
00:38:40,817 --> 00:38:43,048
I'm so alone.
768
00:38:43,050 --> 00:38:46,143
No, you're not. You have us now.
769
00:38:47,417 --> 00:38:51,115
I wasted my youth
on a homosexual.
770
00:38:51,117 --> 00:38:52,915
Yeah, but that was the past.
771
00:38:52,917 --> 00:38:56,648
You still have your whole
future ahead of you.
772
00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:59,310
I'll never find true love.
773
00:39:01,017 --> 00:39:03,781
You know what Hafez says:
774
00:39:03,783 --> 00:39:07,508
"Love finds you
when you least expect it."
775
00:39:10,817 --> 00:39:12,815
How's it going out there?
776
00:39:12,817 --> 00:39:15,648
Well, Ziba's getting Steven
777
00:39:15,650 --> 00:39:17,282
the chandelier tour
of the house,
778
00:39:17,284 --> 00:39:20,948
and our fathers are debating
whether or not sodomy is a sin.
779
00:39:20,950 --> 00:39:23,182
Oh, God.
780
00:39:23,184 --> 00:39:26,476
Well, little do they know
we are already in hell.
781
00:39:31,750 --> 00:39:33,015
- Hairbrush.
- Check.
782
00:39:33,017 --> 00:39:34,815
- Computer.
- Check.
783
00:39:34,817 --> 00:39:36,215
- Toothbrush.
- Check.
784
00:39:36,217 --> 00:39:37,681
What do you think?
785
00:39:37,683 --> 00:39:39,781
Oh, I think that
looks like ice cream.
786
00:39:39,783 --> 00:39:41,182
- It's really bad, isn't it?
- Yeah.
787
00:39:41,184 --> 00:39:43,248
- When did she get that for you?
- When I was 12.
788
00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:44,348
- Oh, baby.
- Please hold me.
789
00:39:44,350 --> 00:39:45,976
I'll hold you.
790
00:39:47,184 --> 00:39:49,243
All right, we gotta go.
We gotta go.
791
00:39:51,950 --> 00:39:55,315
Okay, so Uncle Saman
is going to take my room.
792
00:39:55,317 --> 00:39:57,182
I am going to be on the couch.
793
00:39:57,184 --> 00:39:58,876
You are going to be
in the guest room.
794
00:40:00,917 --> 00:40:03,048
You need to hire help.
795
00:40:03,050 --> 00:40:05,148
I don't need any help.
796
00:40:05,150 --> 00:40:07,648
Why would I pay someone
when I could do it myself?
797
00:40:07,650 --> 00:40:08,948
I'm an engineer.
798
00:40:08,950 --> 00:40:10,748
Dad?
799
00:40:10,750 --> 00:40:13,148
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
800
00:40:13,150 --> 00:40:15,015
Whatcha doin'?
801
00:40:15,017 --> 00:40:18,048
I'm building
a Persepolis fountain.
802
00:40:18,050 --> 00:40:22,681
It is going to look exactly
like the Persian ancient ruins.
803
00:40:22,683 --> 00:40:27,148
580 BC, Cyrus the Great.
804
00:40:27,150 --> 00:40:29,781
Oh, boy.
805
00:40:29,783 --> 00:40:32,215
Your mother has invited
half of Orange County.
806
00:40:32,217 --> 00:40:33,915
I have a reputation.
807
00:40:33,917 --> 00:40:36,681
Alex, could you kindly
give me that, please?
808
00:40:36,683 --> 00:40:38,276
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks.
809
00:40:40,050 --> 00:40:42,082
Why is she so nervous?
810
00:40:42,084 --> 00:40:44,681
It's gonna look good.
I promise you.
811
00:40:44,683 --> 00:40:46,681
Just imagine Persepolis, right?
812
00:40:46,683 --> 00:40:50,248
Okay, we have four columns:
Two big ones, two shorter ones.
813
00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:53,781
One big one over here,
one soldier's guarding it.
814
00:40:53,783 --> 00:40:57,648
Another big one over here,
another soldier's guarding it.
815
00:40:57,650 --> 00:41:00,182
And two shorter columns
here and there.
816
00:41:00,184 --> 00:41:02,981
And also you got two fountains:
817
00:41:02,983 --> 00:41:06,015
One seven inch, one five inch,
818
00:41:06,017 --> 00:41:10,714
each with their own engines,
and then we light it up.
819
00:41:10,716 --> 00:41:12,048
That's cool.
820
00:41:12,050 --> 00:41:13,848
It's gonna look spectacular.
821
00:41:13,850 --> 00:41:15,948
Thank you, Dad.
822
00:41:15,950 --> 00:41:17,443
Now go see your uncle. I'm busy.
823
00:41:18,384 --> 00:41:20,881
Good luck.
824
00:41:20,883 --> 00:41:22,842
- Oh, okay.
- Toodles.
825
00:41:45,084 --> 00:41:47,174
This is my fiance Alex.
826
00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:53,842
Oh, well, it's nice
to meet you too.
827
00:41:56,217 --> 00:41:58,076
No.
828
00:41:59,716 --> 00:42:02,015
- What was that?
- He said he's...
829
00:42:02,017 --> 00:42:05,048
really happy to meet you.
830
00:42:05,050 --> 00:42:07,709
Alex, congratulation.
I hear you're a doctor.
831
00:42:08,850 --> 00:42:10,215
He's actually, a...
832
00:42:10,217 --> 00:42:11,415
- He's an artist.
- Artist.
833
00:42:11,417 --> 00:42:13,148
Yeah, he makes art
out of balloons.
834
00:42:13,150 --> 00:42:15,109
- Oh.
- Yeah.
835
00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:18,048
I didn't follow that.
836
00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:20,348
He's really excited
to meet your family, he said.
837
00:42:20,350 --> 00:42:22,415
- I'm so excited.
- Very excited.
838
00:42:22,417 --> 00:42:24,148
- So excited.
- Very excited.
839
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:26,382
- So excited.
- So excited.
840
00:42:26,384 --> 00:42:28,748
Really exciting.
841
00:42:28,750 --> 00:42:30,215
Oh, look!
842
00:42:30,217 --> 00:42:32,115
Bougainvilleas and pulmonarias.
843
00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,348
Oh, for God's sake.
844
00:42:33,350 --> 00:42:35,815
I used to plant those with Mom!
845
00:42:35,817 --> 00:42:38,215
Would you please just
butch it up a little bit?
846
00:42:38,217 --> 00:42:40,948
- These are Muslims.
- Oh!
847
00:42:40,950 --> 00:42:43,648
- Here comes the wrecking ball.
- Oh, come on.
848
00:42:43,650 --> 00:42:44,981
- Where are you going?
- I have to help her.
849
00:42:44,983 --> 00:42:46,748
Oh, the drama queen
makes an entrance.
850
00:42:46,750 --> 00:42:48,781
Are you gonna be like this
all weekend?
851
00:42:48,783 --> 00:42:50,848
Why do you have to be such
a problem person all the time?
852
00:42:50,850 --> 00:42:53,015
You know what? Since you know
so much about fruit,
853
00:42:53,017 --> 00:42:54,348
why don't you help me
pick 'em up?
854
00:42:54,350 --> 00:42:55,382
Oh, zing, zing, zing!
855
00:42:55,384 --> 00:42:57,115
- Hey!
- Oh.
856
00:42:57,117 --> 00:42:59,215
- We're in the back.
- All right.
857
00:42:59,217 --> 00:43:01,709
- We're not gonna help.
- We're not gonna help.
858
00:43:07,417 --> 00:43:10,382
Sweetheart, you come here.
859
00:43:10,384 --> 00:43:12,915
You stand right here.
Good, okay.
860
00:43:12,917 --> 00:43:14,881
- Maggie.
- Yes.
861
00:43:14,883 --> 00:43:17,415
Come, come, please.
862
00:43:17,417 --> 00:43:19,815
To the left. Bill, to the right.
863
00:43:19,817 --> 00:43:21,848
- Here?
- Let me see.
864
00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:23,315
Perfect.
865
00:43:23,317 --> 00:43:25,015
The groom will walk first,
866
00:43:25,017 --> 00:43:27,315
presented by the mother
and the father.
867
00:43:27,317 --> 00:43:29,848
Actually, no.
868
00:43:29,850 --> 00:43:31,215
Come here.
869
00:43:31,217 --> 00:43:34,348
I really wanna walk down
the aisle with Steven.
870
00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:36,215
But Steven is not the mother.
871
00:43:36,217 --> 00:43:38,048
No, but he is my husband.
872
00:43:38,050 --> 00:43:39,848
It's gonna be complicated.
873
00:43:39,850 --> 00:43:41,881
Then who will she walk with?
874
00:43:41,883 --> 00:43:43,315
Does she even have to walk?
875
00:43:43,317 --> 00:43:45,182
Well, if it were up to you,
I'd be crawling.
876
00:43:45,184 --> 00:43:46,981
- What a good idea.
- You're not the mother.
877
00:43:46,983 --> 00:43:48,415
Please, please! Guys, look.
878
00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:51,048
How about the three of you
walk together?
879
00:43:51,050 --> 00:43:54,048
Then four of them together,
walking down the aisle.
880
00:43:54,050 --> 00:43:56,748
It's going to look ridiculous.
881
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:58,981
That's exactly
what I want this to be.
882
00:43:58,983 --> 00:44:01,714
There is no way my mother's
gonna let Steven walk.
883
00:44:01,716 --> 00:44:02,981
You have to talk to your father.
884
00:44:02,983 --> 00:44:04,348
Why are you taking her side?
885
00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:05,748
Steven might not even care.
886
00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:08,248
My dad cares. You heard him.
887
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:09,948
It is 30 yards.
888
00:44:09,950 --> 00:44:11,809
Make it happen.
889
00:44:13,950 --> 00:44:16,107
Make it happen?
890
00:44:17,917 --> 00:44:22,915
Why doesn't she walk
with Saman, my brother?
891
00:44:22,917 --> 00:44:25,048
Saman!
892
00:44:25,050 --> 00:44:26,109
Saman.
893
00:44:28,084 --> 00:44:30,714
Talbots, this is
my little brother from Iran.
894
00:44:30,716 --> 00:44:33,714
Oh, hey, I'm Bill.
I'm Alex's dad.
895
00:44:33,716 --> 00:44:35,215
Oh, hi, I'm Saman.
896
00:44:35,217 --> 00:44:37,248
Oh, can I call you Sam?
897
00:44:37,250 --> 00:44:38,315
Saman.
898
00:44:38,317 --> 00:44:39,348
Saman.
899
00:44:39,350 --> 00:44:41,182
Steven. I'm his husband.
900
00:44:41,184 --> 00:44:43,315
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
901
00:44:43,317 --> 00:44:45,282
A visitor from the orient.
902
00:44:45,284 --> 00:44:46,348
I'm Maggie Baker.
903
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,382
Hello, Maggie Baker.
904
00:44:47,384 --> 00:44:49,115
I am Saman.
905
00:44:49,117 --> 00:44:53,082
Perfect. So the two of you
will walk together first,
906
00:44:53,084 --> 00:44:55,315
and then Steven, Bill, Alex,
907
00:44:55,317 --> 00:44:59,282
and then me and Reza
and my daughter.
908
00:44:59,284 --> 00:45:01,215
- Are you okay with this?
- Absolutely. Compromise.
909
00:45:01,217 --> 00:45:02,348
Shall we, Maggie Baker?
910
00:45:02,350 --> 00:45:04,348
Yes, thank you, Saman.
911
00:45:04,350 --> 00:45:06,248
- Thank you.
- So what does Saman mean?
912
00:45:06,250 --> 00:45:09,648
Saman means, "One who climbs
the mountain for the life."
913
00:45:09,650 --> 00:45:11,981
- I love that!
- Yes.
914
00:45:11,983 --> 00:45:15,007
This is the traditional part
of the wedding.
915
00:45:34,650 --> 00:45:35,776
How beautiful.
916
00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:40,310
Kiss it.
917
00:45:43,250 --> 00:45:44,415
Cool.
918
00:45:44,417 --> 00:45:45,681
Am I Muslim now?
919
00:45:45,683 --> 00:45:46,714
No.
920
00:45:46,716 --> 00:45:48,015
Sort of.
921
00:45:48,017 --> 00:45:49,348
- Can I have a Muslim name?
- Sure.
922
00:45:49,350 --> 00:45:51,815
What would you like
your Muslim name to be?
923
00:45:51,817 --> 00:45:54,376
Uh... Mohammed?
925
00:45:57,050 --> 00:45:58,915
Okay, sure.
926
00:45:58,917 --> 00:46:00,182
Mohammed.
927
00:46:00,184 --> 00:46:02,182
Well, that was interesting.
928
00:46:02,184 --> 00:46:04,243
Are you serious?
929
00:46:08,384 --> 00:46:10,443
I'm getting a Quran.
930
00:46:14,417 --> 00:46:16,182
Hey, Saman.
931
00:46:16,184 --> 00:46:19,748
Oh, hey, Maggie Baker.
932
00:46:19,750 --> 00:46:21,215
I hope I didn't scare you.
933
00:46:21,217 --> 00:46:23,648
Oh, no, no. I don't get scared.
934
00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:25,315
I've killed men
with my bare hands.
935
00:46:25,317 --> 00:46:27,115
Ooh.
936
00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:29,714
Well, I just came out
to have another drink
937
00:46:29,716 --> 00:46:31,315
before I hit the road, you know?
938
00:46:31,317 --> 00:46:32,881
You don't drink, do you?
939
00:46:32,883 --> 00:46:35,048
- Sure, I do.
- You do?
940
00:46:35,050 --> 00:46:36,415
On special occasions.
941
00:46:36,417 --> 00:46:38,714
Well, I'd say this
is pretty special.
942
00:46:38,716 --> 00:46:39,714
Oh, yeah.
943
00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:41,876
Oh, thank you.
944
00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:46,310
Ooh, tequila.
945
00:46:49,184 --> 00:46:53,948
So why have you not remarried?
946
00:46:53,950 --> 00:46:55,948
I just didn't wanna
make another mistake.
947
00:46:55,950 --> 00:46:57,748
And you? Divorced?
948
00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:00,815
Oh, no, no.
I've never been married.
949
00:47:00,817 --> 00:47:03,815
See, I have no gaydar. I just...
950
00:47:03,817 --> 00:47:05,815
Oh, no, no, no, no.
951
00:47:05,817 --> 00:47:08,348
I just never found
the right woman.
952
00:47:08,350 --> 00:47:09,915
You're very funny.
953
00:47:09,917 --> 00:47:14,210
Oh, uh... Well, that's so sad.
955
00:47:16,883 --> 00:47:19,742
Yeah, I have no one
to go back to.
956
00:47:22,317 --> 00:47:25,681
Well, then maybe
you should stay here.
957
00:47:25,683 --> 00:47:27,176
Oh.
958
00:47:29,750 --> 00:47:31,410
Maybe I should.
959
00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:39,310
Sorry.
960
00:47:44,284 --> 00:47:46,182
- Okay.
- Sorry about that.
961
00:47:46,184 --> 00:47:47,709
Don't be sorry.
962
00:47:49,683 --> 00:47:51,315
Oh, thank you.
963
00:47:51,317 --> 00:47:53,781
Oh, my gosh.
964
00:47:53,783 --> 00:47:55,748
Don't you kiss twice
in your country?
965
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,714
- Oh, yes, yes, you're right.
- It's like...
966
00:47:57,716 --> 00:47:59,215
- And mwah.
- Right, exactly.
967
00:47:59,217 --> 00:48:02,282
Wow. That was very unexpected.
968
00:48:02,284 --> 00:48:04,881
Like in America,
we just don't even bother.
969
00:48:04,883 --> 00:48:07,282
We just go straight
to the main kiss.
970
00:48:07,284 --> 00:48:09,781
Well, okay, then let's...
971
00:48:09,783 --> 00:48:12,681
- Oh, wow.
- Wow.
972
00:48:12,683 --> 00:48:13,807
Maggie Baker.
973
00:48:16,716 --> 00:48:18,776
- Can I have another?
- Oh, sure.
974
00:49:07,317 --> 00:49:08,382
Ziba.
975
00:49:08,384 --> 00:49:10,215
Hi.
976
00:49:10,217 --> 00:49:12,315
I think we both should
relax a little bit.
977
00:49:12,317 --> 00:49:15,781
No. Our entire family,
all of our friends.
978
00:49:15,783 --> 00:49:19,082
How am I supposed to relax?
Half of Orange County is coming.
979
00:49:19,084 --> 00:49:20,415
Don't stress so much.
980
00:49:20,417 --> 00:49:22,748
It's gonna be all right.
I'm here.
981
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:25,881
As it wasn't bad enough that
she's marrying a poor artist.
982
00:49:25,883 --> 00:49:27,182
Ziba.
983
00:49:27,184 --> 00:49:29,382
How is he going to
take care of her?
984
00:49:29,384 --> 00:49:34,048
He has no job.
How is he going to provide?
985
00:49:34,050 --> 00:49:36,681
And that family? Oh, my God.
986
00:49:36,683 --> 00:49:38,648
Too late. They were already
living together.
987
00:49:38,650 --> 00:49:41,681
At least she's finally
getting married.
988
00:49:41,683 --> 00:49:43,015
Let's go to bed.
989
00:49:43,017 --> 00:49:45,082
What about the fountain?
Did you fix it?
990
00:49:45,084 --> 00:49:47,182
It's done. Almost done.
991
00:49:47,184 --> 00:49:49,648
I'm an engineer.
992
00:49:49,650 --> 00:49:51,115
Let's have a second honeymoon.
993
00:49:51,117 --> 00:49:53,415
- First, take a shower.
- Okay.
994
00:49:53,417 --> 00:49:55,781
It'd be even better
than our first one.
995
00:49:55,783 --> 00:49:57,742
Paris, 1975.
996
00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:37,948
Are you gonna leave me one day?
997
00:50:37,950 --> 00:50:39,348
Why?
998
00:50:39,350 --> 00:50:40,948
Do you think our families
are too different?
999
00:50:40,950 --> 00:50:42,182
No.
1000
00:50:42,184 --> 00:50:44,382
Is this all just
an experiment to you?
1001
00:50:44,384 --> 00:50:50,348
Okay, I'm doing...
all of this...
1003
00:50:50,350 --> 00:50:52,348
because I love you.
1004
00:50:52,350 --> 00:50:55,981
I just don't know if
you're taking it seriously.
1005
00:50:55,983 --> 00:50:58,815
- I mean Mohammed, really?
- What? It's rad.
1006
00:50:58,817 --> 00:51:00,215
I just don't think
you understand
1007
00:51:00,217 --> 00:51:02,315
how serious marriage is
in my culture.
1008
00:51:02,317 --> 00:51:04,115
It is forever.
1009
00:51:04,117 --> 00:51:06,148
There is not one single divorce
in my family.
1010
00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:08,415
Okay, I thought that I was
gonna become part of the tribe,
1011
00:51:08,417 --> 00:51:10,082
and we'd be stifled
and oppressed together.
1012
00:51:10,084 --> 00:51:12,148
Is that not what's happening?
1013
00:51:12,150 --> 00:51:14,915
We've only known each other
for five months.
1014
00:51:14,917 --> 00:51:16,948
Six, actually.
1015
00:51:16,950 --> 00:51:19,282
We haven't even done
the 36 questions.
1016
00:51:19,284 --> 00:51:21,082
I feel like we have done that.
1017
00:51:21,084 --> 00:51:22,382
Oh, my God,
we don't know each other.
1018
00:51:22,384 --> 00:51:23,981
Like more than once.
1019
00:51:23,983 --> 00:51:25,215
What's my most treasured
childhood memory?
1020
00:51:25,217 --> 00:51:27,115
- Spring break, senior year.
- Wrong.
1021
00:51:27,117 --> 00:51:28,815
It's when I won the spelling bee
in third grade.
1022
00:51:28,817 --> 00:51:31,881
- I did know that.
- We don't know each other.
1023
00:51:31,883 --> 00:51:34,048
How are you gonna provide
for our children?
1024
00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:36,182
What?
1025
00:51:36,184 --> 00:51:38,015
Okay, wait,
where's this coming from?
1026
00:51:38,017 --> 00:51:41,115
Is this you, or is this Ziba?
1027
00:51:41,117 --> 00:51:44,048
10-4, 10-4.
Alex, can you hear me? Over.
1028
00:51:44,050 --> 00:51:46,248
I promised your uncle I'd help
fix these walkie-talkies
1029
00:51:46,250 --> 00:51:48,210
before the wedding, and they're
still totally broken.
1030
00:51:49,417 --> 00:51:51,048
Come here.
1031
00:51:51,050 --> 00:51:53,714
Hey, hey, hey.
1032
00:51:53,716 --> 00:51:57,048
We're gonna be fine, okay?
1033
00:51:57,050 --> 00:51:59,382
Just 30 yards, right?
1034
00:51:59,384 --> 00:52:00,648
I love you.
1035
00:52:00,650 --> 00:52:02,115
Alex, 10-4. Where are you?
1036
00:52:02,117 --> 00:52:03,848
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Can you hear me?
1037
00:52:03,850 --> 00:52:04,915
Yeah.
1038
00:52:04,917 --> 00:52:06,015
See you tomorrow.
1039
00:52:06,017 --> 00:52:07,210
Babe...
1040
00:52:54,350 --> 00:52:56,474
Nousha, hold your breath.
1041
00:52:57,350 --> 00:52:58,415
- Ouch.
- Ow!
1042
00:52:58,417 --> 00:53:00,374
Shh!
1043
00:53:02,750 --> 00:53:04,714
Hi, hi.
1044
00:53:04,716 --> 00:53:06,681
Thank you so much.
I'm so happy to see you.
1045
00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,148
Miss Iran 1975, hello.
1046
00:53:08,150 --> 00:53:09,981
You look glamorous as always.
1047
00:53:09,983 --> 00:53:13,115
Oh, stop it. You know,
it's still not too late for me
1048
00:53:13,117 --> 00:53:14,315
to find you two husbands.
1049
00:53:14,317 --> 00:53:15,881
Oh, that'll be great.
1050
00:53:15,883 --> 00:53:17,943
Wow, that would be fantastic.
1051
00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:43,041
Saman...
1052
00:53:53,417 --> 00:53:55,048
There you are, sweetheart.
I can't even bend.
1053
00:53:55,050 --> 00:53:56,881
It has a jacket.
1054
00:53:56,883 --> 00:53:58,382
I think I'm having
a nervous breakdown.
1055
00:53:58,384 --> 00:53:59,981
- No, no.
- No, really.
1056
00:53:59,983 --> 00:54:01,815
There's all these people,
all this fuss.
1057
00:54:01,817 --> 00:54:03,648
I look like it's my quinceanera.
1058
00:54:03,650 --> 00:54:05,781
I don't know.
I don't know if I can do this.
1059
00:54:05,783 --> 00:54:07,943
Honey, it's gonna be fine.
1060
00:54:17,850 --> 00:54:19,848
I think you don't wanna talk
about the things that you did,
1061
00:54:19,850 --> 00:54:22,082
but you're like
an Iranian general,
1062
00:54:22,084 --> 00:54:23,781
and they can't talk about it.
1063
00:54:23,783 --> 00:54:25,410
Thank you, Maggie.
You make me blush.
1064
00:54:28,750 --> 00:54:31,015
Let's start wedding now.
Let's start wedding now!
1065
00:54:31,017 --> 00:54:34,148
Saman, take over
and start wedding now!
1066
00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:36,182
What?
1067
00:54:36,184 --> 00:54:37,948
Cue the wedding song.
1068
00:54:37,950 --> 00:54:39,082
Huh, what?
1069
00:54:39,084 --> 00:54:41,315
Cue the wedding song!
1070
00:54:41,317 --> 00:54:42,315
Oh, yes, yes.
1071
00:54:42,317 --> 00:54:43,376
Music, music.
1072
00:54:56,783 --> 00:54:59,082
Okay.
1073
00:54:59,084 --> 00:55:03,009
They think that they'd have
high tech in the CIA in Iran.
1074
00:55:06,783 --> 00:55:08,182
Oh, Nousha, it's time to go.
1075
00:55:08,184 --> 00:55:09,915
I can't, Dad.
I need to talk to Alex.
1076
00:55:09,917 --> 00:55:12,748
Alex is over there.
It's time to go, Nousha.
1077
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:13,781
Dad, wait.
1078
00:55:13,783 --> 00:55:15,781
Just cold feet, honey.
1079
00:55:15,783 --> 00:55:18,015
Everyone gets it, even me.
1080
00:55:18,017 --> 00:55:20,915
I love her, she love me.
1081
00:55:20,917 --> 00:55:22,681
Will she make me happy,
1082
00:55:22,683 --> 00:55:24,415
or will she torture me
every day?
1083
00:55:24,417 --> 00:55:28,714
Did I make her happy,
or did I fall into great misery?
1084
00:55:28,716 --> 00:55:31,815
Would I be able to satisfy
her list of demands?
1085
00:55:31,817 --> 00:55:33,976
Stop!
1086
00:55:35,417 --> 00:55:36,815
I have to stop and think.
1087
00:55:36,817 --> 00:55:37,981
You cannot stop, Nousha!
1088
00:55:37,983 --> 00:55:41,148
Dad, I'm not ready.
1089
00:55:41,150 --> 00:55:43,748
I don't know
if I can do this, okay?
1090
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:45,115
The wedding machine
cannot be stopped.
1091
00:55:45,117 --> 00:55:47,348
Is everything okay?
Nousha, are you okay?
1092
00:55:47,350 --> 00:55:49,781
I can't marry him.
1093
00:55:49,783 --> 00:55:51,115
She's okay, she's okay.
1094
00:55:51,117 --> 00:55:52,115
Reza, let's take her inside.
1095
00:55:52,117 --> 00:55:53,415
No, no, no!
1096
00:55:53,417 --> 00:55:54,915
The wedding machine
cannot be stopped!
1097
00:55:54,917 --> 00:55:56,648
- The wedding must go on.
- We go inside.
1098
00:55:56,650 --> 00:55:58,415
- One tea, she relax.
- What do you mean, tea?
1099
00:55:58,417 --> 00:56:01,048
The groom is waiting!
I spent a lot of money.
1100
00:56:01,050 --> 00:56:04,148
- I failed you! Don't stop!
- Dad!
1101
00:56:04,150 --> 00:56:08,343
I don't want to end up
like his mother!
1102
00:56:11,350 --> 00:56:13,109
Alex.
1103
00:56:31,150 --> 00:56:34,007
Nousha! Nousha!
1104
00:57:25,716 --> 00:57:27,807
Nousha.
1105
00:57:29,150 --> 00:57:30,907
Come on, open up.
1106
00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:36,776
I can literally see you moving.
1107
00:57:40,983 --> 00:57:42,315
We brought Lulu.
1108
00:57:42,317 --> 00:57:43,815
Look, she's here too.
1109
00:57:43,817 --> 00:57:45,714
- She wants to see you.
- Yeah.
1110
00:57:45,716 --> 00:57:48,742
- There's a key under the pot.
- Okay.
1111
00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:52,210
- Yup, look at this.
- Okay.
1112
00:57:54,117 --> 00:57:57,282
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
No, no, no, no.
1113
00:57:57,284 --> 00:57:59,382
- No, no, no.
- We are here to help you.
1114
00:57:59,384 --> 00:58:00,815
- I'm fine.
- You're not fine.
1115
00:58:00,817 --> 00:58:02,115
I don't wanna talk.
1116
00:58:02,117 --> 00:58:04,382
We're taking you
to our healer for sure.
1117
00:58:04,384 --> 00:58:06,748
- Why? I'm fine!
- You look like afterbirth.
1118
00:58:06,750 --> 00:58:08,948
- You smell like caca pants.
- Very, very, very, bad,
1119
00:58:08,950 --> 00:58:10,681
what we're looking at
and smelling right now.
1120
00:58:10,683 --> 00:58:12,415
- I got it.
- What is this?
1121
00:58:12,417 --> 00:58:14,015
Oh, my God, is that cheese?
1122
00:58:14,017 --> 00:58:15,815
You really just smell
of diapers and cheese.
1123
00:58:15,817 --> 00:58:17,876
You smell like
the inside of a person.
1124
00:58:21,050 --> 00:58:23,015
Okay, fine. I get it, I get it.
1125
00:58:23,017 --> 00:58:24,648
Good, good.
1126
00:58:24,650 --> 00:58:26,748
I can't believe
I haven't heard from him.
1127
00:58:26,750 --> 00:58:29,176
He blocked me on Facebook.
1128
00:58:30,650 --> 00:58:32,648
No, he deleted his account.
1129
00:58:32,650 --> 00:58:37,714
What? He would never be
such a social media whore.
1130
00:58:37,716 --> 00:58:39,415
What about Instagram?
1131
00:58:39,417 --> 00:58:40,948
Mm-mm.
1132
00:58:40,950 --> 00:58:42,681
What about Twitter?
1133
00:58:42,683 --> 00:58:44,648
- I mean...
- What about Google Plus?
1134
00:58:44,650 --> 00:58:46,748
Really?
1135
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:48,648
Can't believe
he broke up with me.
1136
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:50,681
Well, you did leave him
at the altar
1137
00:58:50,683 --> 00:58:52,943
and turn into a phoenix.
1138
00:58:54,683 --> 00:58:57,115
I don't blame him.
1139
00:58:57,117 --> 00:58:58,848
Okay, come on, let's...
No, no, no, no!
1140
00:58:58,850 --> 00:59:00,981
Let's get dressed,
let's get dressed.
1141
00:59:00,983 --> 00:59:04,709
You don't know yet
who you are or what you want.
1142
00:59:08,050 --> 00:59:11,648
I really want
a cheeseburger right now.
1143
00:59:11,650 --> 00:59:13,282
I know that.
1144
00:59:13,284 --> 00:59:15,148
The emotional freedom technique
1145
00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:18,315
sends calm signals
to your brain,
1146
00:59:18,317 --> 00:59:20,681
so follow me.
1147
00:59:20,683 --> 00:59:23,714
Even though I am heartbroken,
1148
00:59:23,716 --> 00:59:26,781
I fully love and accept myself.
1149
00:59:26,783 --> 00:59:29,043
So now you try it.
1150
00:59:31,084 --> 00:59:36,948
Even though... I'm heartbroken,
1152
00:59:36,950 --> 00:59:40,043
I fully love and accept myself.
1153
00:59:41,750 --> 00:59:46,915
Even though I hurt
the only man I've ever loved,
1154
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:49,315
I fully love and accept myself.
1155
00:59:49,317 --> 00:59:54,848
Even though I'm probably
gonna die alone,
1156
00:59:54,850 --> 00:59:57,343
I fully love and accept myself.
1157
00:59:58,917 --> 01:00:03,182
Even though I wanna crawl
into a hole and die,
1158
01:00:03,184 --> 01:00:04,648
I love and accept...
1159
01:00:04,650 --> 01:00:06,748
Fully love and accept myself.
1160
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:10,176
Fully love and accept myself.
1161
01:00:14,350 --> 01:00:15,781
Very good.
1162
01:00:15,783 --> 01:00:17,781
I feel better.
1163
01:00:17,783 --> 01:00:20,282
Wonderful.
1164
01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:21,648
Cash or check?
1165
01:00:21,650 --> 01:00:23,348
Cash only, please.
1166
01:00:23,350 --> 01:00:24,876
Okay.
1167
01:00:30,350 --> 01:00:32,048
Hello?
1168
01:00:32,050 --> 01:00:33,648
Why aren't you calling me back?
1169
01:00:33,650 --> 01:00:35,248
I was just about
to call the police.
1170
01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:37,748
I was going to, Mom.
I was just busy.
1171
01:00:37,750 --> 01:00:40,315
You're not getting any younger.
You need to start dating again.
1172
01:00:40,317 --> 01:00:42,282
It's only been a few weeks, Mom.
1173
01:00:42,284 --> 01:00:45,681
Ali, Fariba's son, heard about
the fireworks at the altar.
1174
01:00:45,683 --> 01:00:47,881
He wants to take you out.
1175
01:00:47,883 --> 01:00:51,210
Nousha, he just finished
dental school too.
1176
01:00:54,683 --> 01:00:57,742
- Nousha?
- Okay, Mom, yeah, set it up.
1177
01:01:06,983 --> 01:01:10,248
From what I hear,
you're a little unconventional.
1178
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:11,948
That's an understatement.
1179
01:01:11,950 --> 01:01:17,215
Yeah, and I heard you set off
a bomb at your wedding.
1180
01:01:17,217 --> 01:01:21,876
I'm sorry.
I should be more sensitive.
1181
01:01:23,983 --> 01:01:25,115
So what was it like?
1182
01:01:25,117 --> 01:01:27,848
I don't wanna talk about it.
1183
01:01:27,850 --> 01:01:29,748
Sure.
1184
01:01:29,750 --> 01:01:31,048
Nosy, I know.
1185
01:01:31,050 --> 01:01:32,248
Excuse me.
1186
01:01:32,250 --> 01:01:34,115
Can I have some more
alcohol, please?
1187
01:01:34,117 --> 01:01:35,915
They're good, huh?
1188
01:01:35,917 --> 01:01:37,148
I looked the Yelp up.
1189
01:01:37,150 --> 01:01:39,348
It was like top three
martinis in LA.
1190
01:01:39,350 --> 01:01:40,915
The other two were too far.
1191
01:01:40,917 --> 01:01:42,681
It's nice that you
did your research.
1192
01:01:42,683 --> 01:01:43,681
'Course.
1193
01:01:43,683 --> 01:01:44,981
Thank you, Tony.
1194
01:01:44,983 --> 01:01:47,415
Do you make Persian food?
1195
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:50,282
Chenje, ghormeh sabzi?
1196
01:01:50,284 --> 01:01:54,441
Umm... I'm gonna
take that as a no.
1198
01:01:55,883 --> 01:01:56,915
But cheers.
1199
01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:59,714
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
1200
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,709
- So you're a dentist?
- Mm-hmm.
1201
01:02:05,983 --> 01:02:07,809
Okay.
1202
01:02:10,350 --> 01:02:12,310
- Great.
- Great.
1203
01:02:14,950 --> 01:02:16,915
You're a really nice guy.
1204
01:02:16,917 --> 01:02:19,315
Thanks. So are you.
1205
01:02:19,317 --> 01:02:21,748
Thank you, but I'm not.
1206
01:02:21,750 --> 01:02:23,781
I'm never gonna be
a good Persian wife,
1207
01:02:23,783 --> 01:02:27,781
or a good wife or a good person.
1208
01:02:27,783 --> 01:02:30,215
I think you're great.
1209
01:02:30,217 --> 01:02:32,343
You do?
1210
01:02:39,317 --> 01:02:40,709
Oh.
1211
01:02:45,983 --> 01:02:47,881
Unzip me.
1212
01:02:47,883 --> 01:02:51,248
- This isn't too fast for you?
- No, no, just go for it.
1213
01:02:51,250 --> 01:02:52,376
All right.
1214
01:02:53,317 --> 01:02:55,781
Just... You got it, you got it.
1216
01:02:55,783 --> 01:02:58,043
I'm goin' there,
all right, okay.
1217
01:03:00,850 --> 01:03:01,943
Wow!
1218
01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:09,848
You know, I actually
took this photo of her.
1219
01:03:09,850 --> 01:03:13,148
Yeah, my dream has always
been to marry someone
1220
01:03:13,150 --> 01:03:16,148
as wonderful as my mom.
1221
01:03:16,150 --> 01:03:18,881
And you know,
you remind me of her.
1222
01:03:18,883 --> 01:03:21,714
Do you mind zipping me back up?
1223
01:03:21,716 --> 01:03:24,076
Uh, okay.
1224
01:03:25,716 --> 01:03:26,981
Thank you so much.
1225
01:03:26,983 --> 01:03:31,015
You know, I actually have to go.
1226
01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:34,215
- No!
- Yeah, I have court.
1227
01:03:34,217 --> 01:03:35,282
Tomorrow.
1228
01:03:35,284 --> 01:03:37,115
Bye.
1229
01:03:37,117 --> 01:03:39,043
Bye.
1230
01:03:42,850 --> 01:03:44,776
You were right about her.
1231
01:04:18,883 --> 01:04:21,082
I really wish
you guys were here.
1232
01:04:21,084 --> 01:04:24,015
Yeah, we do too,
but Lulu's not feeling well.
1233
01:04:24,017 --> 01:04:26,282
Sorry.
1234
01:04:26,284 --> 01:04:29,148
I'm just gonna drop off
the toothbrush and then leave.
1235
01:04:29,150 --> 01:04:30,881
- Okay.
- We just want you to know
1236
01:04:30,883 --> 01:04:32,315
that we don't think
this is a good idea.
1237
01:04:32,317 --> 01:04:34,681
I know, but please
just stay on the phone.
1238
01:04:34,683 --> 01:04:37,648
- We support you.
- We support you.
1239
01:04:37,650 --> 01:04:39,648
All right, say bye, honey.
Okay, bye.
1240
01:04:39,650 --> 01:04:40,881
Bye, we love you.
1241
01:04:40,883 --> 01:04:41,981
Love you.
1242
01:04:41,983 --> 01:04:44,115
No, wait!
1243
01:04:44,117 --> 01:04:47,048
You sound like you could use
some good stuff.
1244
01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:50,182
Do you have like caffeine pills?
I'm really tired.
1245
01:04:50,184 --> 01:04:53,048
I promise you'll feel great.
1246
01:04:53,050 --> 01:04:55,115
If everything goes south,
will I remember tomorrow?
1247
01:04:55,117 --> 01:04:56,848
No.
1248
01:04:56,850 --> 01:04:59,143
I'll take two, please.
1249
01:05:27,250 --> 01:05:31,714
Excuse me, can you lift me up?
I really need to see the deejay.
1250
01:05:31,716 --> 01:05:33,243
- All right.
- Thank you.
1251
01:05:35,917 --> 01:05:38,043
There! Have your look.
1252
01:05:48,017 --> 01:05:49,840
Take over for a minute.
1253
01:05:58,850 --> 01:06:01,182
- Hi.
- Hi.
1254
01:06:01,184 --> 01:06:04,215
Um, I brought your toothbrush.
1255
01:06:04,217 --> 01:06:06,981
Christ, Nousha,
what are you doing here?
1256
01:06:06,983 --> 01:06:09,415
What, you don't call or text,
and you blocked me on Facebook,
1257
01:06:09,417 --> 01:06:11,282
so how else was I supposed
to bring your toothbrush?
1258
01:06:11,284 --> 01:06:13,981
You dumped me at the altar
in front of everybody.
1259
01:06:13,983 --> 01:06:15,815
You broke my fucking heart.
1260
01:06:15,817 --> 01:06:18,382
I fucked up. I was scared.
I was insecure.
1261
01:06:18,384 --> 01:06:19,981
There was too much
pressure on me.
1262
01:06:19,983 --> 01:06:22,310
And no, I didn't mean
what I said.
1263
01:06:24,250 --> 01:06:26,748
I'm ready now. I'm ready.
1264
01:06:26,750 --> 01:06:29,714
It's too late for me.
1265
01:06:29,716 --> 01:06:31,048
I love you.
1266
01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:32,809
No, you don't.
1267
01:06:39,217 --> 01:06:40,781
- Whoo!
- Oh!
1268
01:06:40,783 --> 01:06:42,842
Hey, watch it, girl!
1269
01:06:46,350 --> 01:06:47,748
Nousha!
1270
01:06:47,750 --> 01:06:49,709
Mom?
1271
01:06:52,217 --> 01:06:54,382
How long has this been going on?
1272
01:06:54,384 --> 01:06:58,115
Almost since your wedding,
or your breakup.
1273
01:06:58,117 --> 01:07:00,648
We were going to tell you,
1274
01:07:00,650 --> 01:07:03,981
but I guess
we could tell them now.
1275
01:07:03,983 --> 01:07:05,776
Tell us what?
1276
01:07:07,084 --> 01:07:09,648
Sam and I are getting married.
1277
01:07:09,650 --> 01:07:11,148
Who's Sam?
1278
01:07:11,150 --> 01:07:12,276
Saman!
1279
01:07:13,683 --> 01:07:14,781
That Sam?
1280
01:07:14,783 --> 01:07:16,842
And I'm converting.
1281
01:07:18,217 --> 01:07:20,248
Can you rub my arm?
1282
01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:22,048
Mom, why are you here?
1283
01:07:22,050 --> 01:07:25,781
Oh, honey, no,
we go dancing all the time.
1284
01:07:25,783 --> 01:07:28,714
We have been following you
as DJ Mohammed.
1285
01:07:28,716 --> 01:07:31,681
I got married so early,
and Sam was sent off to war.
1286
01:07:31,683 --> 01:07:34,709
We just never had a chance
to be young.
1287
01:07:35,783 --> 01:07:37,215
Alex, it's never too late.
1288
01:07:37,217 --> 01:07:41,915
No. As Hafez says,
"You must always stay close
1289
01:07:41,917 --> 01:07:46,082
to anything that makes you
feel glad to be alive."
1290
01:07:46,084 --> 01:07:48,215
Or something like that,
I think. Right?
1291
01:07:48,217 --> 01:07:49,648
You got it.
1292
01:07:49,650 --> 01:07:50,748
Okay, no, stop.
1293
01:07:50,750 --> 01:07:52,015
Could you please stop?
1294
01:07:52,017 --> 01:07:53,048
Stop.
1295
01:07:53,050 --> 01:07:54,742
Am I tripping?
1296
01:07:55,683 --> 01:07:57,807
I think so.
1297
01:08:11,950 --> 01:08:15,148
Even your Uncle Saman
is getting married before you.
1298
01:08:15,150 --> 01:08:17,881
God, I'm so happy for you.
1299
01:08:17,883 --> 01:08:19,648
What happened to Ali?
1300
01:08:19,650 --> 01:08:22,048
I'm not doing another one
of your arrangements.
1301
01:08:22,050 --> 01:08:24,115
You're not doing this
to me again, Nousha.
1302
01:08:24,117 --> 01:08:26,015
How dare you drop a doctor.
1303
01:08:26,017 --> 01:08:28,274
He wasn't a doctor.
He was a dentist.
1304
01:08:30,783 --> 01:08:33,915
Whatever.
I just want you to be happy.
1305
01:08:33,917 --> 01:08:38,009
Well, you're making me
miserable, so...
1306
01:08:46,683 --> 01:08:50,748
Nousha, your mother loves you.
1307
01:08:50,750 --> 01:08:52,976
She just doesn't know
any better.
1308
01:09:03,317 --> 01:09:06,476
Child bride. She had no choice.
1309
01:09:25,817 --> 01:09:27,742
Yes, baby.
1310
01:09:35,017 --> 01:09:38,742
And if you're lesbian,
that's okay too.
1311
01:09:52,350 --> 01:09:53,348
Hi.
1312
01:09:53,350 --> 01:09:54,842
Hey.
1313
01:09:57,716 --> 01:09:59,815
Keep your eyes
on the board, okay?
1314
01:09:59,817 --> 01:10:02,015
Now I know why I was always
too afraid to do this.
1315
01:10:02,017 --> 01:10:04,848
No, don't overthink it, Noush.
Just trust.
1316
01:10:04,850 --> 01:10:05,915
Trust?
1317
01:10:05,917 --> 01:10:07,709
- Trust.
- Trust.
1318
01:10:08,650 --> 01:10:10,241
Trust!
1319
01:10:12,117 --> 01:10:14,415
You have to learn
how to be alone.
1320
01:10:14,417 --> 01:10:17,809
The quietness in your heart
will give you the answers.
1321
01:10:23,917 --> 01:10:26,508
Is this one of the ones
you put in your vagina?
1322
01:10:47,983 --> 01:10:50,215
How did you say bye
to those eyes?
1323
01:10:50,217 --> 01:10:52,915
Well, it was a mutual agreement.
1324
01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:55,915
For me, it was something else.
I don't wanna go there.
1325
01:10:55,917 --> 01:10:58,007
Sorry.
1326
01:11:02,050 --> 01:11:04,709
Wanna grab a cheeseburger
together?
1327
01:11:05,917 --> 01:11:07,648
Just kidding.
1328
01:11:07,650 --> 01:11:09,208
I'm vegan now.
1329
01:11:10,417 --> 01:11:11,974
Namaste.
1330
01:11:13,250 --> 01:11:14,374
Did I do it right?
1331
01:12:13,411 --> 01:12:18,411
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
1332
01:12:22,850 --> 01:12:24,415
- No.
- Oh.
1333
01:12:24,417 --> 01:12:27,074
Right? What?
1334
01:12:49,716 --> 01:12:52,310
I thought you might need this.
1335
01:12:56,117 --> 01:12:57,909
Thank you.
1336
01:12:59,683 --> 01:13:01,115
Bill's out there,
1337
01:13:01,117 --> 01:13:03,748
trying to teach Ziba
how to use a BlackBerry.
1338
01:13:03,750 --> 01:13:05,714
He is not.
1339
01:13:05,716 --> 01:13:07,282
Oh, my gosh.
1340
01:13:07,284 --> 01:13:11,210
You know, I've never really
given you enough credit.
1341
01:13:13,084 --> 01:13:15,176
He's not easy.
1342
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:20,248
Girl... We have a
lot to talk about.
1344
01:13:20,250 --> 01:13:22,076
We do.
1345
01:13:24,716 --> 01:13:28,809
You look... divine.
1347
01:13:30,050 --> 01:13:31,876
Thank you.
1348
01:13:34,683 --> 01:13:35,748
You ready, Mom?
1349
01:13:35,750 --> 01:13:37,848
Ohh! More than ready.
1350
01:13:37,850 --> 01:13:40,115
I love that man.
1351
01:13:40,117 --> 01:13:44,015
And besides, the sexual
chemistry is off the charts.
1352
01:13:44,017 --> 01:13:46,382
- Mom...
- I literally didn't even know
1353
01:13:46,384 --> 01:13:47,415
that I could bend like...
1354
01:13:47,417 --> 01:13:49,276
Okay, Mom, stop.
1355
01:14:00,917 --> 01:14:02,009
Alex...
1356
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:07,943
I want you to be happy.
1357
01:14:08,883 --> 01:14:10,776
I am happy.
1358
01:14:11,883 --> 01:14:14,681
I think Hafez said
1359
01:14:14,683 --> 01:14:19,343
that love forgives and heals.
1360
01:14:21,650 --> 01:14:23,176
You look beautiful.
1361
01:14:25,950 --> 01:14:28,109
- See you out there.
- Okay.
1362
01:14:36,284 --> 01:14:37,410
Thanks.
1363
01:14:39,683 --> 01:14:41,382
Uh-huh.
1364
01:14:41,384 --> 01:14:43,876
Like James Bond.
1365
01:14:52,384 --> 01:14:54,681
Tell me what's wrong.
1366
01:14:54,683 --> 01:14:58,382
I'm honestly so happy for you.
It's okay.
1367
01:14:58,384 --> 01:15:00,876
You are not happy.
1368
01:15:02,417 --> 01:15:05,148
No, I'm not.
1369
01:15:05,150 --> 01:15:07,915
I really miss him.
1370
01:15:07,917 --> 01:15:10,976
I don't think he's ever
gonna forgive me.
1371
01:15:14,817 --> 01:15:18,382
You know what's wrong
with your generation?
1372
01:15:18,384 --> 01:15:20,082
You're too skeptical.
1373
01:15:20,084 --> 01:15:23,315
Always doubting everything.
1374
01:15:23,317 --> 01:15:25,443
So afraid of marriage.
1375
01:15:27,350 --> 01:15:31,015
It's this Internet.
1376
01:15:31,017 --> 01:15:34,915
Nousha, you don't know
how to have faith.
1377
01:15:34,917 --> 01:15:37,781
You have to believe in things.
1378
01:15:37,783 --> 01:15:40,815
That's how life moves forward.
1379
01:15:40,817 --> 01:15:42,876
That's a God lecture.
1380
01:15:44,084 --> 01:15:47,115
1986, the Iran-Iraq War.
1381
01:15:47,117 --> 01:15:49,648
We are in the depths of hell.
1382
01:15:49,650 --> 01:15:50,948
The government was broke,
1383
01:15:50,950 --> 01:15:53,981
so we had limited arms
and no supplies.
1384
01:15:53,983 --> 01:15:57,881
But my men, they marched on.
1385
01:15:57,883 --> 01:16:02,276
We took Najaf with just one tank
and a handful of grenades.
1386
01:16:04,817 --> 01:16:07,276
But then we heard
the airstrikes.
1387
01:16:08,217 --> 01:16:10,415
Chemical weapons.
1388
01:16:10,417 --> 01:16:12,648
It was Saddam.
1389
01:16:12,650 --> 01:16:15,176
He blasted my men.
1390
01:16:16,750 --> 01:16:19,410
Most of them died... like that.
1392
01:16:21,317 --> 01:16:24,776
But I just lost a few ligaments.
1393
01:16:25,917 --> 01:16:28,714
How did I never know about that?
1394
01:16:28,716 --> 01:16:30,881
I also have a scar
on my backside right here.
1395
01:16:30,883 --> 01:16:34,443
No, I don't need...
I'm good, I'm good.
1396
01:16:38,950 --> 01:16:44,282
The point is, Nousha,
that even in my darkest hour,
1397
01:16:44,284 --> 01:16:46,748
I still had faith.
1398
01:16:46,750 --> 01:16:50,315
I knew that one day
there would be a light,
1399
01:16:50,317 --> 01:16:54,909
and that light... is Maggie.
1401
01:16:57,850 --> 01:17:01,415
If you're constantly
living in fear,
1402
01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:05,148
you won't let the light in.
1403
01:17:05,150 --> 01:17:10,315
As in love, it's simple.
1405
01:17:10,317 --> 01:17:13,210
And you should never give up.
1406
01:17:17,783 --> 01:17:20,109
I'm gonna need your help
with something.
1407
01:17:21,417 --> 01:17:23,009
Pigeon.
1408
01:17:24,317 --> 01:17:25,348
Thanks, Saman.
1409
01:17:25,350 --> 01:17:27,176
Of course, darling.
1410
01:17:41,284 --> 01:17:42,282
Hi.
1411
01:17:42,284 --> 01:17:43,815
Ready?
1412
01:17:43,817 --> 01:17:45,282
I am.
1413
01:17:45,284 --> 01:17:47,815
Actually, Alex,
if you don't mind,
1414
01:17:47,817 --> 01:17:51,848
I would really like to walk
your mother down the aisle.
1415
01:17:51,850 --> 01:17:53,248
Of course, Dad.
1416
01:17:53,250 --> 01:17:54,248
Thank you.
1417
01:17:54,250 --> 01:17:57,215
Um, you all got me here,
1418
01:17:57,217 --> 01:18:00,348
so you all are walking me
down the aisle.
1419
01:18:00,350 --> 01:18:03,348
Hey, you too, Steven!
1420
01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:05,508
Get in here,
you handsome bastard.
1421
01:18:07,184 --> 01:18:08,348
Quite a family.
1422
01:18:08,350 --> 01:18:09,881
You ready?
1423
01:18:09,883 --> 01:18:11,840
Right legs first.
1424
01:18:21,783 --> 01:18:24,809
I'm gonna leave you here.
You're on your own.
1425
01:18:25,750 --> 01:18:26,781
Be amazing.
1426
01:18:26,783 --> 01:18:28,248
Thank you.
1427
01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:30,210
- Ready?
- Yeah.
1428
01:18:39,917 --> 01:18:43,315
Thank you all for coming.
1429
01:18:43,317 --> 01:18:47,282
Love is not about
keeping a score,
1430
01:18:47,284 --> 01:18:50,348
hesitation or fear.
1431
01:18:50,350 --> 01:18:55,981
Love is about sacrifice,
understanding
1432
01:18:55,983 --> 01:18:58,781
and forgiveness.
1433
01:18:58,783 --> 01:19:01,348
As the great Persian poet says,
1434
01:19:01,350 --> 01:19:04,748
"And still after all this time,"
1435
01:19:04,750 --> 01:19:07,848
the sun never says to the Earth,
1436
01:19:07,850 --> 01:19:09,776
"'You owe me.'"
1437
01:19:11,317 --> 01:19:15,182
Look what happens
with that kind of love.
1438
01:19:15,184 --> 01:19:18,809
It lights the whole sky.
1439
01:19:22,184 --> 01:19:27,343
Now may I ask the ladies join me
for the Persian canopy.
1440
01:19:35,317 --> 01:19:37,276
Rings, please?
1441
01:19:41,184 --> 01:19:43,182
Thank you.
1442
01:19:43,184 --> 01:19:45,681
Maggie Baker...
1443
01:19:45,683 --> 01:19:49,015
do you accept
Saman Amir Husseini
1444
01:19:49,017 --> 01:19:51,681
as your husband willingly,
1445
01:19:51,683 --> 01:19:54,182
without any reservation?
1446
01:19:54,184 --> 01:19:56,476
I sure do.
1447
01:19:58,783 --> 01:20:02,748
Saman Amir Husseini,
1448
01:20:02,750 --> 01:20:06,714
do you take Maggie Baker
as your wife willingly,
1449
01:20:06,716 --> 01:20:09,648
without any reservation?
1450
01:20:09,650 --> 01:20:11,776
Heck yes.
1451
01:20:13,217 --> 01:20:15,648
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1452
01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:18,143
You may kiss the bride.
1453
01:20:19,417 --> 01:20:21,415
Ha ha! Whoo!
1454
01:20:21,417 --> 01:20:24,508
Now let's party!
1455
01:20:47,217 --> 01:20:50,315
Mmm!
1456
01:20:50,317 --> 01:20:51,881
Yeah!
1457
01:20:51,883 --> 01:20:53,415
Whoo!
1458
01:20:53,417 --> 01:20:55,348
- That's so good.
- Delicious.
1459
01:20:55,350 --> 01:20:57,215
Sweet like you.
1460
01:20:57,217 --> 01:20:59,215
You know,
there are weirder things.
1461
01:20:59,217 --> 01:21:00,848
Yeah.
1462
01:21:00,850 --> 01:21:02,148
Oh, yeah?
1463
01:21:02,150 --> 01:21:03,681
- Yeah, plenty.
- For sure.
1464
01:21:03,683 --> 01:21:04,776
Name one.
1465
01:21:09,217 --> 01:21:10,382
Oh, sorry.
1466
01:21:10,384 --> 01:21:12,915
I'll be right back, okay?
1467
01:21:12,917 --> 01:21:14,441
Thank you.
1468
01:21:17,084 --> 01:21:19,382
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.
1469
01:21:19,384 --> 01:21:21,348
I just would like to say
1470
01:21:21,350 --> 01:21:26,007
that today has been the most
wonderful day of my life.
1471
01:21:29,783 --> 01:21:31,415
Thank you.
1472
01:21:31,417 --> 01:21:36,182
And it is not only because
I had the pleasure
1473
01:21:36,184 --> 01:21:38,815
of marrying
this beautiful goddess
1474
01:21:38,817 --> 01:21:40,981
and the love of my life,
1475
01:21:40,983 --> 01:21:43,248
Maggie Baker-Husseini,
1476
01:21:43,250 --> 01:21:45,815
but also I would like to say
1477
01:21:45,817 --> 01:21:50,748
that we have today with us
in the house
1478
01:21:50,750 --> 01:21:53,115
one of my favorite singers
in the whole world.
1479
01:21:53,117 --> 01:21:56,714
Ladies and gentlemen,
please help me welcome
1480
01:21:56,716 --> 01:21:58,648
Miss Celine Dion.
1481
01:21:58,650 --> 01:22:01,541
Oh, my God!
1482
01:22:05,850 --> 01:22:07,009
- My favorite!
- There she is!
1483
01:22:08,983 --> 01:22:11,310
Celine, Celine, Celine!
1484
01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:16,842
Celine, thank you.
1485
01:22:22,117 --> 01:22:26,415
♪ I met you at a protest ♪
1486
01:22:26,417 --> 01:22:31,315
♪ I tried to keep my cool ♪
1487
01:22:31,317 --> 01:22:36,082
♪ A fire on our wedding day ♪
1488
01:22:36,084 --> 01:22:39,076
♪ When I fell in the pool ♪
1489
01:22:40,250 --> 01:22:44,815
♪ I'll be there in a heartbeat ♪
1490
01:22:44,817 --> 01:22:48,315
♪ Anytime that you call ♪
1491
01:22:48,317 --> 01:22:53,182
♪ I wanna be
domestic partners now ♪
1492
01:22:53,184 --> 01:22:57,109
♪ Saddam and Andy Warhol ♪
1493
01:22:58,150 --> 01:23:01,815
♪ I wanted to tell you ♪
1494
01:23:01,817 --> 01:23:05,681
♪ But I was so filled
with doubt ♪
1495
01:23:05,683 --> 01:23:09,282
♪ Fear got in the way ♪
1496
01:23:09,284 --> 01:23:13,182
♪ I am right here to say ♪
1497
01:23:13,184 --> 01:23:16,943
♪ That I'm ready now ♪
1498
01:23:46,850 --> 01:23:48,348
Wait.
1499
01:23:48,350 --> 01:23:50,348
Aren't we like cousins now?
1500
01:23:50,350 --> 01:23:54,274
More like second cousins,
so it's still legal.
1501
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:25,000
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***