1 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:10,927 雞蛋 2 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,555 我們家沒雞蛋了 3 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,184 雞蛋! 4 00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,316 歡迎光臨山谷市場 5 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,069 在這裡我們永遠待你如家人 6 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,238 就算是出軌的蕩婦也一樣 7 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,420 第七收銀檯現在開放營業 8 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,547 就像艾莎加德納的陰道一樣 9 00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:51,718 總共46.39元 10 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,678 我背著老公偷情 11 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,056 好的 12 00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,642 妳不是那小鬼的媽媽嗎? 13 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,436 不是 14 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,314 NETFLIX 原創影集 15 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,285 準備破紀錄嗎?巨星 16 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,454 別瞎說 17 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,955 但妳說對了 18 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,500 大自然中,動物在躲避掠食者時 19 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,001 才能跑出最快速度 20 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,420 我不知道凱希為何要跑這麼快 21 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,054 (牛頓高中加油) 22 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,265 慘了! 克雷頓高中的奈莉古提雷茲也要參賽 23 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:43,144 我還希望她傷還沒好 年輕人骨頭好得真快 24 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,359 因為人類既虛弱又緩慢 所以我們什麼都跑不贏 25 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,276 (尼克來電) 26 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,987 -誰打來的? -互助團體的露薏莎 27 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,742 糟糕,我一下就回來 28 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,702 -女子400公尺 -比賽要開始了! 29 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,579 好…我馬上回來 30 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,748 上啊,寶貝! 31 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,375 衝啊,凱希! 32 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:09,754 很少人知道,人類最危險的天敵 不是獅子、老虎或豹 33 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,215 這類的大型野獸 34 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,892 預備 35 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,442 最危險的是小隻又煩人的 而且無法躲避的 36 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:32,777 蚊子 37 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,491 -你在做什麼? -山姆,你在做什麼? 38 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,368 山姆,放手 39 00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,579 -這是怎麼回事? -放開她!山姆,放手! 40 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,499 -好痛! -抱歉,糟糕 41 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,126 山姆,沒事的,別緊張 42 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,127 用力壓住 43 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,753 我們去救護站,對不起 44 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,862 感謝老天 45 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,959 太棒了! 46 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,586 (支持鮑爾) 47 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,504 -太棒了! -妳破紀錄了! 48 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:34,672 爽啊! 49 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,008 -妳破紀錄了! -我真會教人! 50 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,844 雖然教歷史很失敗 但教這個沒問題! 51 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,311 幹得好 52 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,563 太棒了 53 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,907 怎麼會發生這種事? 你沒在注意嗎? 54 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,701 我當時在看比賽 結果事情突然就發生了 55 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,286 我在看比賽 56 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,247 我無法相信自己竟然弄傷孩子 57 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:11,125 好了…寶貝 你也不知道他會抓那女生的馬尾 58 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,043 但妳就會知道 59 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,336 大概吧 60 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,838 但這是我的錯 61 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,924 我本該待在那裡,真的很抱歉 62 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,592 -兩位 -凱希! 63 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,803 -你們覺得比賽如何? -很棒 64 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:25,014 妳跑得真快!快得跟台車一樣 65 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,683 -是啊,咻一聲就出去了 -太棒了 66 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,352 -你們沒看我的比賽 -是,我們沒看到 67 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,980 -山姆出了嚴重意外 -他割到手臂了 68 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,065 -他非常緊張 -寶貝… 69 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,527 這些是我用自己的錢買的 所以你們不能吃,別問了 70 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,613 我可沒問你 71 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,285 我覺得自己總是對不起妳 72 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,912 沒關係,別在意 73 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,832 -山姆有問題,我了解 -對,他問題很棘手 74 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,835 (牛頓高中) 75 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,464 我猜我的頭髮這樣晃 然後他就抓住我的頭髮… 76 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,473 你好,山姆 77 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,310 其實我想問你… 78 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:13,062 我聽不到妳說什麼,我戴著抗噪耳機 79 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,439 沒關係 80 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,941 我想問你,不知道你想不想… 81 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,986 不管妳講得多大聲,我還是聽不到 82 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,404 我的耳機隔音效果很好 83 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,038 你可以拿掉耳機一下嗎? 84 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,502 我想既然生物考試快到了 85 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,380 那…也許,我在想可能 86 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,090 我們可以一起準備考試 87 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,342 我為什麼要跟妳一起準備? 88 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:46,554 我生物學考試都拿甲,而妳只拿甲下 89 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,181 一起準備對我沒幫助 90 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,395 好吧 91 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,482 我只想對你說謝謝 92 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:03,154 是的,這些花很漂亮,但… 這還是無法解釋 93 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:06,824 為何家裡客廳 有一顆沾了巧克力醬的草莓? 94 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,162 我沒有!那不是會忘在一旁的零嘴 95 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,997 那是昂貴水果! 96 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,083 那是情趣水果,邁爾斯! 97 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,169 因為你很明顯買來要送人 98 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,587 而我想知道要送誰 99 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,467 再次感謝你,我得掛電話了 100 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,552 但我們之後再討論這件事 101 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,223 -你好,山姆 -有人送花給妳 102 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,433 -是邁爾斯嗎? -沒錯 103 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,519 為什麼?有特別的事嗎? 104 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,771 沒有,只是想討我歡心 105 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,567 如果他想討妳歡心,應該要送花毛茛 那才是妳最愛的花 106 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,194 那種花很漂亮,但名字很難聽 107 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,697 沒想到你竟然記得這事 108 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,159 那麼,你過得如何? 109 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,246 上一次你來的時候 我們討論跟女生有關的事 110 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,997 約會結果如何? 111 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,875 糟透了… 112 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,879 就算我穿皮夾克 大部分女生還是徹底無視我 113 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,923 -除了佩姬 -佩姬是誰? 114 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:07,426 一個很煩人的女孩 我戴著耳機她還是一直來煩我 115 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,596 就算我們分數都是甲 她還想邀我一起讀書 116 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,557 聽起來她可能喜歡你 117 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:18,104 那我猜,我該讓她當我女朋友 118 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,148 你才剛說她很煩人 119 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,232 有關係嗎? 120 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,400 有啊 121 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,610 你得搞清楚自己喜不喜歡她,山姆 122 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:25,528 要怎麼做? 123 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,906 也許先多認識她,然後再分析優缺點 124 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:32,034 我去寵物店買烏龜就是這樣做 125 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,911 另一隻烏龜的腳比較大 126 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:37,707 但艾迪森比較年輕 而且龜殼紋路比較複雜 127 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,960 但我無法找到跟艾迪森一樣好的女友 128 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:42,712 那可不一定 129 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:48,259 這一定很有趣 妳已經勸我回這團體好幾年了 130 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,802 很高興你願意來 131 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,095 我也是 132 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,558 (蕩婦) 133 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,439 (蕩婦) 134 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,525 -怎麼了? -沒什麼 135 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:10,156 我知道這聽起來可能很蠢 慶祝一個15歲的孩子 136 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,117 講出了一句只有三個字的話 137 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,454 但說實在 這是我人生最棒的五個時刻之一 138 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,622 我們開了比薩派對慶祝 139 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,665 好,那一點也不蠢 140 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,043 那是重大突破 141 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,964 如果自己小孩是高功能自閉症患者 142 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,468 那父母會很容易忘記其他父母的處境 143 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:33,804 道格,很高興見到你 有沒有什麼想跟大家分享的事? 144 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,933 我…好 145 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:45,399 是的,我來此是想繼續加強自己能力 146 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,109 好照料我們的兒子,山姆 147 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:51,280 他是高功能自閉症的孩子 148 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,993 我們近來相處得不錯 149 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,746 但之前發生了一件事 150 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,249 讓我們頗為擔心 151 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,293 我們去看女兒凱希的田徑賽 152 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,713 結果山姆抓住前面女孩的馬尾 153 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,341 我當時真心不知如何是好 154 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,635 然後… 155 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,931 那女孩開始尖叫 而我的自閉症孩子就… 156 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:21,644 道格,很抱歉 但我們習慣用詞以人優先 157 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,521 好 158 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,065 什麼意思? 159 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,984 所以我們不說“自閉症孩子” 160 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,361 我們說“孩子患有自閉症” 161 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,572 先講人,再講症狀 162 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,659 他不知道這規矩 因為我們在家不這樣做 163 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,412 所以這其實是我的錯 我們應該要這樣做 164 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:42,206 不,其實我知道,我只是… 165 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,834 -算了,這不重要 -對,你繼續說,道格 166 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,548 這整件事讓我百思不解 167 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,425 因為最近我們相處得不錯 168 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,635 他也去接受心理治療 169 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,846 而我也覺得他的情況好轉許多 170 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,931 很抱歉又打斷你 171 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:02,351 但是自閉症並不會好轉 172 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,520 自閉症是神經狀態 173 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,980 並不是能治癒的疾病 174 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,189 兩者的差別在這 175 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,400 他這樣說沒有惡意,凱西 176 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:13,779 當然沒有,我只是說他最近很少… 177 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,159 像這樣 178 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,037 道格是想說,他的意思是 179 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,541 山姆採取替代行為來面對環境刺激 180 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,668 結果頗有成效 181 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,795 那真是好消息 182 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,381 道格,你還有其他事要分享嗎? 183 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,051 不用了,謝謝妳 184 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:38,846 大家為道格鼓掌 185 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,107 你能來真好 186 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,488 (男子曲棍球州冠軍) 187 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,240 茱莉亞說我不該一時腦充血 188 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,367 就陷入感情中 189 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,535 我上網查了“腦充血”的意思 190 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,621 意思是魯莽行事 191 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,956 所以我決定對佩姬的優缺點 192 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,084 進行嚴格的檢驗 193 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,091 很高興你改變心意和我一起讀書 194 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,719 我是說,因為現在很難找到 195 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,846 同樣努力的同學 196 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,556 我讀書時通常不講話 197 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,974 這樣 198 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,017 好吧 199 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,896 那就安靜讀書 200 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,322 你知道我讀書時喜歡做什麼嗎? 201 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,074 會幫助我記憶的事情? 202 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,368 我喜歡把書本內容當饒舌歌來唱 203 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,412 好比說世界歷史 204 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,831 北美殖民地戰爭何時發生? 205 00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,250 是在1754年 206 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,377 不是在1763年嗎? 207 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,171 不,那年雙方簽屬和平條約 208 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,064 -你在寫跟我有關的事嗎? -對 209 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,068 我可以看嗎? 210 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:17,820 不行 211 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,577 我有件事要自白 212 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:28,497 我好想念你們的小臉蛋 213 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,875 和你的大臉 214 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:34,587 所以,我要準備一頓特別的家庭聚餐 215 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,297 煮的全都是你們最愛的食物 216 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,215 道格的是冰淇淋蘋果餡餅 217 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,633 太棒了!買原料來自己做? 218 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,302 對,自己做 219 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,220 山姆的是雞柳條 220 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,847 -我最愛的那牌? -就是那牌 221 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,725 然後凱希是培根包無花果 222 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,311 -我已經兩年不吃豬肉了 -那就無花果 223 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,438 我的特製餐點不能是“不用來”嗎? 224 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,399 不行,超市沒賣那種材料 225 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,110 聚餐是明晚,不見不散 226 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,030 山姆,你的手如何?還好嗎? 227 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,365 很好,而且你已經問我六次了 228 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,243 既然之前沒事,現在怎麼會有差? 229 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,830 寶貝,他看來沒問題 230 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,916 別再自責了 231 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,959 知道嗎? 232 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,425 老天,妳怎麼回事? 233 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,719 有靜電 234 00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,012 -是喔? -是啊 235 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,357 茱莉亞 236 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,734 我是道格加德納,山姆的父親 237 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,653 你好,道格! 238 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,154 -我們之前見過面 -對,很抱歉 239 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,532 -我沒料到會遇見認識的人 -沒關係 240 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:47,826 -這是我忙裡偷閒的小天堂 -是喔,妳住在這附近? 241 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,371 對,我基本上是 為了這些餅乾搬來這裡 242 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,206 看起來很好吃 243 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,250 那很高興見到妳 244 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,627 好,道格? 245 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,505 我只想讓你知道 246 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,508 我想這沒違反任何規定 247 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,719 你鼓勵山姆去約會,對他很有幫助 248 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:06,929 所以 249 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:10,182 我也不知道,就繼續努力幫他吧 250 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,184 我很努力了 251 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,436 妳知道,我最近幾天過得不順 252 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,855 其實我去參加艾莎的互助團體 253 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,357 我試著對談 254 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,985 但他們說我用了錯誤的字眼 255 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,237 我猜猜,他們強調用字要以人優先 256 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,573 是啊,但這根本沒差,對吧? 257 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,909 我意思是,他還是有自閉症 這對他現實處境毫無影響 258 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,787 雖然他的處境有時很辛苦 259 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,999 但我想只要稍有突破,就應該慶祝 260 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,417 說得有理 261 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,210 感謝妳 262 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,170 你想坐一下嗎? 263 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,173 好啊,妳要吃完這些餅乾嗎? 264 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,092 不用,你吃吧 265 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,761 “像北極狐般的厚髮 266 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,138 沒戴牙套 267 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,890 曾上過地方新聞 268 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,142 ‘杏仁’的發音錯誤” 269 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,226 這是什麼東西? 270 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:58,355 我在記錄佩姬的優缺點 好確定自己喜不喜歡她 271 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,066 讓我幫你加上一點 272 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:04,403 -你做什麼? -你只需一個清單 273 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,322 她是女的,而且想要你的小弟弟 274 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,531 那才不是清單 275 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,826 茱莉亞說我得先確定喜歡佩姬 276 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,704 再把她當實習女友 所以我正在確認 277 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,623 好吧,你有多了解她? 278 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,458 我們大都只待在學校讀書 279 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,502 那就是你的問題 280 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,172 你只待在安全受控制的環境裡 281 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,090 你得帶她到外頭去 282 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,884 觀察她如何應對突發狀況 283 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,427 給她來幾顆曲球 284 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,346 你要我用球砸佩姬? 285 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:34,308 不是,老兄,拜託 有我撐腰算你好運 286 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,770 我只是覺得妳可能分數給錯了 287 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,689 因為我知道自己學的是對的 288 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,275 代數很簡單,純粹是數學問題 289 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,819 想要獨立出X,只要從根數移除就好 290 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,947 我媽和我整週都在編這首歌 291 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,032 佩姬? 292 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,117 -是的? -妳想跟我在學校外頭碰面嗎? 293 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,703 你開玩笑嗎?當然好! 294 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,456 好,這是我家地址 295 00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,918 我不能開車 因為我開車會直覺閉上眼睛 296 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,671 但妳可以搭巴士到邱吉爾站 再走六個街口 297 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,714 或者如果妳已經18歲,可以搭優步 298 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,133 我早上看他們的規定是這樣寫 299 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,176 沒問題 300 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:10,886 我要午餐錢 301 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:15,391 我邀了女生出去 302 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,685 -我很遺憾 -為什麼? 303 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:18,936 我想她拒絕了 304 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,522 -不,她答應了 -真的? 305 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:23,440 我為她感到遺憾 306 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,778 (比格斯教練) 307 00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:29,738 比格斯教練,你找我嗎? 308 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,950 沒錯,加德納,這位是薛爾比潘恩 309 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,452 她是克雷頓高中的運動督導 310 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,496 妳好 311 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:40,749 我看到妳星期六的精采表現 其他選手完全不是妳的對手 312 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,293 你們要我做尿檢嗎? 313 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,338 不是 314 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,049 其實,我已經注意妳一陣子了 315 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,634 妳很擅長跑400公尺 316 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:54,138 而妳在接力賽的表現是全隊致勝關鍵 317 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,849 我們有四個人,其他女生也跑很快 318 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:59,977 她們沒妳快 所以克雷頓高中想招募妳 319 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:05,524 加德納,我把妳當作女兒看待 320 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,651 我女兒因此很不爽 321 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,403 她根本跑不快 322 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,657 我覺得妳至少該考慮這個機會 323 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,832 -他們想招募妳? -對啊 324 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,667 我知道這聽起來很扯,對吧? 325 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,295 -對啊 -克雷頓高中是全州最好的高中耶 326 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,465 而且那所學校的女生畢業後 都進了一級聯賽大學,甚至參加奧運 327 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,801 有個女生還拍了耐吉廣告 廣告裡她跑贏龍捲風 328 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:35,846 對啊 329 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:39,016 但是,說真的,我不打算去那裡 330 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,393 那所學校的學生都是紈絝子弟 331 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,936 那不是我的風格 332 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,730 這樣也好 333 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,107 因為克雷頓高中離這裡一小時車程 334 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,859 -我們會無法見面 -是啊 335 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,904 然後妳會想念我,妳就會開始分心 336 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,447 然後就會學校考試不及格 337 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,532 最後,妳知道,就會流落街頭 338 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,660 然後我就得做三明治拿去給妳吃 339 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,537 不管妳住在哪個巴士站牌都得去 340 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,875 相信我,沒人希望發生這種事 341 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:09,129 妳想去,對吧? 342 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,255 是啊 343 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,642 妳爸媽不介意我來吃晚餐嗎? 344 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,560 我滿確定妳爸討厭我 345 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,854 不會啦,他們不介意 346 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,147 因為他們不知道你要來 347 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:29,942 該死,凱希 348 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,485 妳好,加德納太太 349 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:32,778 伊凡 350 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,448 -真是驚喜 -對啊 351 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,492 我們有起司 352 00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:40,285 自己拿,還有無花果 353 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,496 我愛無花果 354 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:43,956 小孩子都喜歡 355 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,377 凱希,這是家庭聚餐 356 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,838 我整天都在煮飯,這聚餐對我很重要 357 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,549 只有妳會邀請外人來家庭聚餐 358 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,967 還沒事先問過 359 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,220 山姆和朋友 360 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,973 -好多人啊! -這太棒了 361 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,266 這是我朋友札希德 362 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,101 佩姬只是同校的女生 363 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,478 來吧,這是例行公事 364 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,563 當然 365 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,732 好大的擁抱,謝謝你 366 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,610 很高興見到你們全家人 367 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,947 -伊凡 -加德納先生 368 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,031 老爸 369 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,951 我們為什麼都在互叫名字? 370 00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:24,163 各位,你們何不去坐在沙發 大家聊一下天? 371 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,789 我馬上就過去 372 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:31,086 也許可以講自己沒告訴過人的糗事 373 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,256 去年夏天山姆參加夏令營 我們就拿這話題炒熱氣氛 374 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,884 然後,老天,還真的很多糗事 375 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:37,801 好吧 376 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,475 這些孩子真麻煩 我們食物準備夠多嗎? 377 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,270 你還真可愛 378 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,022 是的,“我們”準備夠多 379 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,733 我知道妳想要家人自己聚餐 380 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,860 但好消息是山姆有兩個朋友 381 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,695 山姆有兩個朋友 382 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,114 茱莉亞說有突破就該慶祝一下 383 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,074 你跟茱莉亞聊過? 384 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,828 沒有,但山姆總是說她這樣說 385 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:08,624 -是啊,我也常這樣說 -我知道,妳說得比她更有理 386 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:11,043 過來 387 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,427 -妳穿什麼? -夾克啊,怪人 388 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,437 -脫掉 -為什麼?我會冷啊 389 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,147 這裡有很多人 390 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,358 房間很快就會溫暖起來 我知道札希德熱力四射 391 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,110 搞什麼? 392 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,364 我們計畫如下 393 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,075 進行一連串隨機且無法預期的測試 394 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:45,994 來判斷佩姬是否夠格當你的女友 395 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,414 我不懂你的策略,札希德 但我相信你 396 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,083 看好 397 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,171 佩姬,接好 398 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,590 我來撿就好 399 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,759 老兄,好遜的反射神經 400 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:02,844 我不在乎女生體能好不好 401 00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,147 很抱歉,凱希 402 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,149 我可以借用化妝間嗎? 403 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,319 可以啊,只要妳不要學英國女皇講話 404 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,114 樓上的馬桶才能沖水 405 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:23,907 好,沒問題 406 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,909 慢走 407 00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:54,855 (南極洲) 408 00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:44,654 (佩姬的優缺點) 409 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,593 今天在學校發生一件妙事 410 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,637 為什麼妳聞起來有菸味? 411 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,847 -不知道 -不是,是妳的… 412 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:13,266 是妳的夾克有菸味 413 00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:16,812 你有在我女兒身邊抽菸嗎? 414 00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:18,814 香菸?沒有 415 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:27,280 你說“香菸?沒有”是什麼意思? 你有抽其他東西嗎? 416 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:30,242 -老爸 -我確定是其他人抽的 417 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:32,285 畢竟那所學校所有人都抽菸 418 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,371 就跟影集《廣告狂人》一樣 419 00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:40,127 也許你抽的是大麻? 420 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,170 -大麻煙?高檔的? -什麼? 421 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:46,341 既然菸味明顯讓你們困擾 我們何不…寶貝? 422 00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:48,051 抱歉,什麼? 423 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,427 就把外套脫了吧 424 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,388 什麼?妳在搞什麼鬼? 425 00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:52,889 好,把這脫下來… 426 00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:55,892 -妳認真的嗎? -對 427 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,893 對,這樣好多了 428 00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:58,311 我滿喜歡那種菸味 429 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:01,690 讓我想起我的叔叔羅西德 以前會讓我偷嚐幾口啤酒 430 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:02,774 他還有台雪佛蘭超跑 431 00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:05,652 抱歉打斷各位 432 00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:09,447 顯然我常做這種事 433 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:12,868 有些人甚至說 這是我最大的缺點,所以… 434 00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:15,495 對了,今天教練把我叫到辦公室… 435 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:18,331 加德納小姐,我正想請妳拿冰茶給我 436 00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:21,501 但,妳知道 我怕自己聽起來很專橫 437 00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,838 黑糖呼叫企鵝… 438 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:26,131 鬣狗拿到卷軸了 439 00:24:27,382 --> 00:24:28,884 她知道了 440 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:29,968 一切都還好嗎? 441 00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:32,387 說實在的,不好 442 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:36,224 我找到你記錄我優缺點的清單 443 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,018 不,他不會做那種事,對嗎? 444 00:24:38,101 --> 00:24:39,477 我會,而且我做了 445 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:42,355 你寫清單批評唯一喜歡你的女生? 446 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,481 太好笑了! 447 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:48,361 -你笑什麼,大麻仔? -他有寫妳的鞋子很乾淨 448 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:49,988 你也看過了,很好 449 00:24:50,071 --> 00:24:52,199 山姆,你把清單給多少人看過? 450 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,450 糟糕,我搞砸了 451 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:56,912 你為什麼要寫佩姬的清單? 452 00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:59,831 為了幫我決定是否想讓她當女友 453 00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:01,041 女友? 454 00:25:02,125 --> 00:25:05,503 好了,我大概該走了 455 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,423 但這是一頓美好的晚餐 加德納先生和太太 456 00:25:08,506 --> 00:25:10,592 所以,謝謝你們 457 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:15,305 -她生氣了? -對 458 00:25:15,388 --> 00:25:16,723 -對 -對 459 00:25:33,406 --> 00:25:34,532 妳生氣了 460 00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:38,036 為什麼要寫那些傷人的話? 461 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,289 我也有寫讚美的 462 00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:42,874 是啊 463 00:25:44,417 --> 00:25:45,919 我是說,沒看清單前 464 00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:47,879 我還不知道自己有很好的中性氣味 465 00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:50,340 但你知道,我根本不在乎,山姆 466 00:25:50,423 --> 00:25:54,010 我不在乎你試著決定是否喜歡我 467 00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:56,388 因為我也想知道自己是否喜歡你 468 00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:59,099 但你不該寫那些東西 469 00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:01,559 -為何? -我不知道 470 00:26:02,477 --> 00:26:03,687 這是規矩 471 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:07,190 好,現在我知道這是規矩 就不會再犯 472 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:10,151 但清單在我口袋裡,妳怎麼看到的? 473 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,486 我把內容從筆記本翻印下來 474 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,044 什麼… 475 00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:29,921 你認真的嗎? 476 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:31,715 足智多謀 477 00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,550 那是一大優點 478 00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:35,677 妳的優點比缺點多 479 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,388 還真謝謝你喔 480 00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:45,687 佩姬,我知道我惹妳生氣 481 00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:47,605 但妳願不願意當我女朋友? 482 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,901 老天爺啊 483 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:55,947 我願意 484 00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:58,074 我們根本沒見過這女孩 485 00:26:58,158 --> 00:27:00,577 我根本沒聽過她的名字,佩姬? 486 00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:02,495 -我有個小消息 -大消息 487 00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:04,581 我是說,我知道他對女生有興趣 488 00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:06,750 但這進展也太快了 489 00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:08,626 有學校要招募我 490 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:09,711 是克雷頓高中 491 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:13,798 對,我猜他們看到我上一場比賽 他們希望我加入 492 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,051 克雷頓高中? 493 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:17,510 那太棒了 494 00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,554 是,對吧? 495 00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:23,141 克雷頓高中多遠?我是說 妳得離開牛頓高中嗎? 496 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:25,602 不,老媽 既然我愛死高中,兩所我都會去 497 00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,813 他們希望我立刻加入 498 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:30,023 你們覺得如何? 499 00:27:30,106 --> 00:27:31,983 那很好啊 500 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,152 對啊 501 00:27:36,112 --> 00:27:38,531 -還有很多事要討論 -對,當然 502 00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,241 我們會想辦法解決 503 00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:42,952 我是說,妳知道 504 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:47,457 很抱歉,寶貝 但我想這不可能實現 505 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:51,378 我是說 妳得跟山姆上同一所學校,對嗎? 506 00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:54,005 但我們等妳朋友離開後再討論這事 507 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:56,841 -因為山姆現在沒有專人照顧他 -對 508 00:27:56,925 --> 00:27:58,468 他很需要妳照顧 509 00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:00,136 所以,我… 510 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,681 -我不知道這要如何實現 -是 511 00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,433 -好吧 -我們之後再談 512 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:06,726 -好 -好 513 00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,982 札希德,真是有趣的名字 514 00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:14,192 你是哪裡人? 515 00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:17,070 佛蒙特,我六年級時全家搬來這 516 00:28:17,153 --> 00:28:19,739 但每年秋天還是會回去看落葉紛飛 517 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:21,157 很抱歉,但… 518 00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:22,659 他站起來幹嘛? 519 00:28:22,742 --> 00:28:24,869 -你要去哪? -你們有兩個小孩 520 00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:25,870 伊凡,別這樣 521 00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:28,581 不,但你們說得好像只有一個小孩 但我了解 522 00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:32,210 山姆有缺陷什麼的 523 00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:33,795 但是凱希破紀錄了耶 524 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:36,589 她做了很厲害的事 你們卻根本沒看到 525 00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:37,841 我是說,你們當時在哪? 526 00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:43,471 現在她有機會去有名到見鬼的學校 抱歉我講粗話 527 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:46,474 但我是說 雖然我也不想她去這麼遠的地方 528 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,893 但我至少了解她… 529 00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:51,563 她待在這裡太浪費了 530 00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,064 所以… 531 00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,609 我想講的就這些 532 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,699 肉烤得很美味 533 00:29:07,454 --> 00:29:09,289 媽,別在意 534 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:12,667 我交到女友了 535 00:29:15,211 --> 00:29:18,923 好樣的,她有點神經緊繃 但我喜歡她的風格 536 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,258 我回來了 537 00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:24,262 甜點 538 00:29:25,638 --> 00:29:27,557 甜點,我… 539 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,601 我得去買冰淇淋 540 00:29:31,311 --> 00:29:33,271 我忘了,我現在去店裡買 541 00:29:33,354 --> 00:29:37,108 我做了冰淇淋蘋果餡餅 結果忘了買冰淇淋 542 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,861 大家先別走,我七分鐘後回來 543 00:29:42,238 --> 00:29:43,740 我有乳糖不耐症 544 00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:46,785 是嗎?妳有很多狀況,對吧?親愛的 545 00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:07,096 有件事得跟你談談 546 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:09,891 -好 -你可以遮住手臂嗎? 547 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,559 算了 548 00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:14,270 我們做的事很美好 549 00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:16,523 -我同意 -但已經結束了 550 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,733 我有人生,我有家庭 551 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,486 但我沒辦法為他們全心付出 552 00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:23,738 因為你一直在我腦海裡,好嗎? 553 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:25,448 而且你到底在搞什麼? 554 00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:28,576 怎麼會跟有夫之婦上床,你知道嗎? 555 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:30,995 你很壞,你是個壞人 556 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:34,123 你知道,對我裝得性感又可愛 有夠壞! 557 00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:36,334 所以我們結束了 558 00:30:37,043 --> 00:30:38,962 好嗎?再見 559 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:41,840 還有… 560 00:30:43,049 --> 00:30:45,009 你還有香草冰淇淋嗎? 561 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:48,680 因為你的關係 害我沒辦法再去山谷市場了 562 00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:50,890 冰淇淋? 563 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:00,859 對,結果她不是釣魚軟體 564 00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:04,487 她是我親戚,圖莎,世界還真小 565 00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:05,947 自那之後我沒再跟她聊過 566 00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:09,659 聽著,我會跟妳媽談克雷頓高中的事 所以別擔心 567 00:31:09,742 --> 00:31:11,744 -真的? -對,我保證 568 00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:15,623 還有妳的大麻男友,我開始欣賞他了 569 00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:18,376 但要記住,如果情況有需要 570 00:31:18,459 --> 00:31:21,045 我會讓那小混混躺平在地上 這妳知道吧? 571 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:22,088 -是 -好 572 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,257 好了 573 00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:27,343 誰要吃甜點? 574 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:30,722 很好 575 00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:21,314 字幕翻譯:翁瑋志