1 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,635 [man] I'm a weirdo. That's what everyone says. 2 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,179 Sometimes, I don't know what people mean when they say things, 3 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,267 and that can make me feel alone even when there are other people in the room. 4 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,936 And all I can do is sit and twiddle, 5 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,689 which is what I call my self-stimulatory behavior, 6 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:27,360 when I flick a pencil against a rubber band at a certain frequency 7 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,529 and think about all the things that I could never do, 8 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:34,075 like research penguins in Antarctica or have a girlfriend. 9 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,995 I don't know. I'd like to go to Antarctica. 10 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,872 It's quiet there... 11 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,208 except in the rookeries, where the penguins breed. 12 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,294 [chuckles] Those aren't quiet. No, sir. 13 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,088 I'm finished with my answer. 14 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,215 Great. 15 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,718 Almost done for today. Good session, Sam. 16 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,970 I can see your bra. It's purple. 17 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,140 [chuckles] 18 00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:01,061 Um, there was one more thing I wanted to discuss. 19 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,813 And I don't need your answer now, 20 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,232 but I'm asking all my clients if they'd be willing 21 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,984 to donate their brains for research. 22 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,611 [laughs] 23 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,945 Donate my brain? 24 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,865 - After you die. -Oh. 25 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:17,160 Yeah. There's such a shortage of brain matter available, 26 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,829 and, you know, there's no substitute for the real thing. 27 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:20,997 [chuckles] 28 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,249 Just think about it. 29 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,586 -Okay. -And, hey, Sam, 30 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,923 what you said earlier about having a girlfriend? 31 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,383 People in the spectrum date, you know? 32 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:36,137 You can try to find someone, if you wanted to. 33 00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:39,182 -How? -You just have to put yourself out there. 34 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,184 Out where? 35 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,021 [Sam] Buses are okay, 36 00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:48,024 but I don't like the feeling of the seat on my back, 37 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,859 so I sit like this. 38 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,653 I don't know how people stand it. 39 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:55,281 Maybe they've developed thicker back skin from riding the bus so much. 40 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,660 There's a type of Antarctic cod that has a special protein 41 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,037 in its blood that stops it from freezing. 42 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,206 [chuckles] Antifreeze in fish. 43 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,332 [laughs] 44 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,547 I was just thinking about Antarctic cod. 45 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,970 Antarctica is the most remote continent on the planet. 46 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,391 It has 90% of the world's ice, 47 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,185 but it's considered a desert because the annual rainfall 48 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,687 is only about eight inches. 49 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,232 You wouldn't think it was a desert when you looked at it. 50 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,943 That's why I like it. 51 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,863 It's not what it looks like. 52 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,158 [woman] Sam! Dinner! 53 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:41,578 So, I ordered those T-shirts that Sam likes, in bulk... 54 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,454 you know, 100% cotton... 55 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:48,001 and they switched them to something that they called "tri-blend." 56 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:52,422 So I called the company, and I spoke to this woman named Rizwana. 57 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,424 I think I was speaking with India. 58 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,592 [man] Mm-hmm. 59 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,260 But, anyway, um... 60 00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:01,055 And she found a box of the old ones, 61 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,724 and they sent them free of charge. 62 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,101 -They're exactly the right kind. -[man] Mm. 63 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,061 Wow. That is a great story, Mom. 64 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,438 Oh, don't be a dick, honey. 65 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,149 So, Sam, how was your session with Julia today? 66 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,775 She wants me to donate my brain, 67 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,444 but don't worry, it's after I die. 68 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,447 What, like, for research? That could be kind of cool. 69 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,531 Absolutely not. 70 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,825 And the queen has spoken. 71 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,077 Well, it's gross, Casey. 72 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,039 You tell Julia, "Thank you, but no." 73 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,333 -[Sam] Okay. -You're so easy to boss around. 74 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,585 I don't care what happens to my dead brain. 75 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:33,171 It's either I give it to Julia, or maggots eat it. 76 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,089 If Mom wants maggots to eat it, fine. 77 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,467 No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. 78 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,551 Kind of is. 79 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,220 I don't care. I'll be dead. 80 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:43,431 Can we stop talking about you being dead? You're not going anywhere. 81 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,141 Wow, this chicken's really good, honey. 82 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,851 Thanks. It's a dry rub. 83 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,144 It's a good dry rub. 84 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:51,272 Julia thinks that I should put myself out there 85 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,316 and find someone to have sex with. 86 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,776 [laughs] 87 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,778 She didn't say the sex part. I added that. 88 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,154 [laughing] 89 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,204 [theme music playing] 90 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,977 -[school bell rings] -[indistinct conversations] 91 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,359 [Sam] My school is crowded, noisy, 92 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,986 and it smells weird, 93 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,405 but it has one thing going for it: 94 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,490 it has lots of girls. 95 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:47,287 Well, I think every girl is pretty in her own way, 96 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,164 like a snowflake in a seasonal Antarctic storm. 97 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,807 [Sam] But girls don't notice me at all. 98 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,689 Thank you. 99 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,944 Banged a veterinarian I met online last night. 100 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,613 She had a pet parrot that repeated everything she said. 101 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,908 "Do me, Brown Sugar! Do me, Brown Sugar!" 102 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,244 Oh, shit. I think she's racist. 103 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,455 What kind of parrot? 104 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:33,124 Oh, I don't know. The red rainbow one? 105 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,543 -That's a scarlet macaw. -Oh. 106 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,550 Zahid... 107 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:44,886 do you like dating girls? 108 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,264 Yeah, dude. I like dating girls. 109 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,186 [camera shutter clicks] 110 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,605 What are you doing? 111 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,191 Going online to try and find a girl to date. 112 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,734 That's hilarious. I'll help. 113 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,987 Okay, finish this sentence: 114 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,323 "I spend a lot of time thinking about..." 115 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,657 Easy. Penguins. 116 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,535 And, especially, I'll say chinstrap penguins. 117 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,579 They're my favorite bird, 118 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,123 but all four types of Antarctic penguins are good. 119 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,252 Did you know early explorers thought they were fish and classified them that way? 120 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,088 Not birds, fish. 121 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:23,841 I'm gonna put "sports." 122 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,134 [woman] Hey, kids. 123 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,469 What you doing? 124 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,679 Casey's helping me sign up for online dating, 125 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,681 but hates all my answers, so she's lying. 126 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,477 -Wow. -Mm-hmm. 127 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,145 You're a little young for that. 128 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,940 You know, I saw an episode on 20/20. 129 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,276 There's actually something called "catfishing," 130 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,571 -and it has nothing to do with fishing. -Bye, Mom. 131 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,660 Should we take another picture with Edison? 132 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,621 I read online that girls love animals. 133 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,831 Maybe like this? 134 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,459 I think this might go quicker if you just leave. 135 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,838 [sighs] Damn it. 136 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,174 Careful. What are you doing? 137 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,717 Honey, can you get that for me? 138 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,763 -Which one? -Three to five. 139 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,975 This room, it's, like, so disorganized. 140 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,477 -Such a mess. -You okay? 141 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,312 Yes, fine. Totally fine. 142 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,230 [sniffles] 143 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,231 Yeah. 144 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,818 Sam's gonna start dating, so that's something. 145 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,194 Do you remember these? 146 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,988 -Sam's emotion cards? -Yeah. 147 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,323 "Someone's making this face, they might be sad, 148 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,033 so you should try to be kind to them." 149 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,911 A woman in the support group, her son was just diagnosed, 150 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:34,912 so I said I'd throw 151 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,706 some things together. 152 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,959 This was the exact face he made when I surprised him with Mets tickets. 153 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,919 -Remember that? -Yeah, I do. 154 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,173 I wanted us to just have one thing in common. 155 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,466 Just one thing. 156 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,470 Me and my dad used to go to the ball games all the time. 157 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,474 I think it's all right that Sam's gonna try to date. 158 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,018 I mean, you and I weren't much older when we met, 159 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,978 and that was fun, right? We had a good time. 160 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:02,023 -Sam's not like us. -I know, but he has to start... 161 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,108 Do you know that every time the phone rings, I jump? 162 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,152 Every time. 163 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,655 I think he's crossed the street again with his eyes closed... 164 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,533 or he had a freak-out in a store 165 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,870 or he's hit a police officer. 166 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:18,247 -Every time the phone rings. -I know. I know. 167 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,083 But maybe now it's time for us to take a step back. 168 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,628 Spend time together, just the two of us, 169 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,547 you know, get back to where we were before all of this. 170 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,049 Maybe we go on a date. 171 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:29,842 Hmm? 172 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,719 Or we... we fool around. 173 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,346 [scoffs, laughs] 174 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,764 -Huh? -Yeah, right. 175 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:35,890 No? 176 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,350 [laughs] 177 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,602 Oh. 178 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,479 You're serious. 179 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,689 I'm not serious. 180 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,441 -I'm sorry. -I'm just playing. 181 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,745 [Julia] Common traits of autism spectrum disorder include 182 00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,248 repetitive behaviors, difficulty socializing 183 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:03,209 and persistent, intense preoccupations. 184 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,963 I have a patient who came up with 95 ways to cook an egg. 185 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,676 Come on in. 186 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,346 Please, sit. 187 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:17,974 -Yeah, thanks. -Oh. 188 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,183 [chuckles nervously] 189 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,894 Is everything okay with Sam? 190 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,397 Oh, yes. It's fine. 191 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,773 I just, um... 192 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,529 Sam said you spoke to him about dating. 193 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:32,446 [chuckles] 194 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,824 He mentioned wanting a girlfriend, so I thought... 195 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,701 I appreciate you're trying to help, 196 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:40,621 but all the things that make my son's everyday life difficult... 197 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,208 like reading social cues, exchanging small talk... 198 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,961 all the things I've helped him navigate his entire life, 199 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,421 are magnified in dating. 200 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,256 Um... 201 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:55,011 Dating is almost entirely nonverbal communication, 202 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,179 and Sam's the most literal person I know. 203 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,516 Yeah, and there are strategies that I could teach him. 204 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,601 Are there? 205 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,771 Are there strategies for when you get your heart broken? 206 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,567 Sam is doing really well. 207 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,153 I mean, we're 32 days into his senior year, 208 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,488 and he hasn't had a meltdown yet, so... 209 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:16,741 I don't want to push him. 210 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:20,119 I mean, relationships are hard enough for neurotypicals. 211 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,622 I don't want to put that kind of pressure on my son. 212 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,667 There was a study done in Toronto a few years ago. 213 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,630 Researchers found that only nine percent 214 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,548 of adults with autism are married, 215 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,508 not because they lack the desire, 216 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,677 but because they don't know how to do it. 217 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:40,014 Your son has the same desire to be loved that we all do. 218 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,891 Why shouldn't he pursue it? 219 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,019 He's not ready yet. 220 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:48,022 You know, a lot of parents have a hard time 221 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,899 as their kids become more independent. 222 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,693 It's completely natural. 223 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,945 So if you ever need someone to talk to, 224 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,156 I can refer you to one of my colleagues. 225 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,783 Oh, wow. No, um... 226 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,369 [exhales] 227 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,870 That won't be necessary. 228 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,706 Thank you for your time. 229 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,461 That's okay. I got it. Thanks so much. 230 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:11,796 -Have a great day. -Okay. 231 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,096 [Sam] When I'm learning something new, 232 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:24,058 like how to get infinity lives in a video game or date girls, 233 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,559 I do a lot of research. 234 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,560 I like research. 235 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,020 Insult them. 236 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,565 Something like, "Baby, those some serious bug eyes you got." 237 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,483 [chuckles] 238 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,360 -Trust me, brother... -Bug eyes? 239 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,404 ...quickest way to get a chick on your dick. 240 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,241 [Sam] I examine as many sources as possible. 241 00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,243 Yo, yo, mamacita. 242 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,537 Is that a phone in your back pocket? 243 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,872 'Cause that ass is calling to me. 244 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,376 And I ask questions. 245 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,420 Just listen to what they say. 246 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,839 Don't bring up seals or penguins or whatever. 247 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,674 And don't stare at their boobs. 248 00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:57,883 Wait, slow down. 249 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,178 I'm still on the no penguins part. What if she likes penguins? 250 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,055 Just assume she doesn't. 251 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,518 The trick is knowing when to put my research to use. 252 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,186 I'm not great at picking up signals. 253 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,482 Yo, Sammy. Red over there is making eyes. 254 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,818 -What? -That chick. 255 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,737 Bubble Butt by the monitors. 256 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,698 What about her? 257 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,575 Dude, she's smiling right at you. 258 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,119 Oh. 259 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,579 So? 260 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,248 -Smile back. -Really? 261 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,713 [Inhales sharply] 262 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:39,717 Wow. 263 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,677 You scared her away from across the store. 264 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,804 Impressive range, dude. 265 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,602 [laughing] 266 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,688 [camera shutter clicking] 267 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,987 [laughing] 268 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,073 Oh, no. 269 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:06,285 I'm sure whoever did this just feels terrible. 270 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,244 [laughing] 271 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:09,830 Bailey. 272 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:12,875 [all gasp] 273 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,218 I don't get it. You're not even friends with Beth. 274 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,303 So? You don't have to be friends to do what's right. 275 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:27,765 Sweetie, hitting someone's face is never right. 276 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,935 Of course you don't get it. You were the one picking on the fat kids. 277 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,353 I had a pudgy friend. 278 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:36,398 Besides, Bailey Bennet is a lovely girl, and she did not deserve to get punched. 279 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,733 Bailey Bennet is a twat. 280 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:39,235 Casey Gardener, language. 281 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,612 Sometimes a word or phrase gets stuck in my head, 282 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:45,282 like on on a loop, and it just plays over and over 283 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,575 and over and over. 284 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,619 Twat. Twat. 285 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,622 Twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat... 286 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:54,542 -You got suspended? -[Casey] You didn't waste any time. 287 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,253 -You're gonna miss practice. -They said I could practice. 288 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,629 -Twat, twat. -[man] That's good. 289 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:02,466 -At least she's not gonna miss practice. -She punched a pretty girl in the face! 290 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,260 [Casey] Why does it matter she's pretty? 291 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,428 Twat. Twat. 292 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,805 Twat. 293 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,975 Twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat. 294 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:12,393 You're grounded. 295 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,812 All right. That seems fair. I'm gonna go for a run. 296 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,605 Can I run when I'm grounded, warden? 297 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,899 I'm done. You deal with her. 298 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,776 Go ahead. 299 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,446 -Awesome. -Great. Now I'm the bad guy again. 300 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,408 Casey and I are cool. You're always gonna be the bad guy with her. 301 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,371 [Glass Animals' "Black Mambo" plays] 302 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,540 ♪ Leopards laze each ♪ 303 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,293 ♪ On plush pillows ♪ 304 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:41,297 ♪ Paperback dreams In their deep doze ♪ 305 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,091 [screams] 306 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,689 Hey, Casey! I brought you a chocolate cake. 307 00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,441 I make amazing cakes. 308 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,318 I won three bake-offs at my church. 309 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,696 This is my brother Evan. He drove me here. 310 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,406 -Hey. -Hey. 311 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,242 Okay. Thanks for the cake. 312 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,161 Thank you for today. 313 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,163 -Twat! -Sam! 314 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,831 -Jesus! -Um, hello. 315 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,207 What is wrong with him? 316 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,376 Nothing's wrong with him. Get away from him. 317 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,547 It's cool. I got it. 318 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,549 All right, bye. 319 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,720 You forgot your chocolate cake! 320 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,388 I'll just leave it on the porch. 321 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,641 You're such an asshole. 322 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,061 My sister doesn't let anyone beat me up... 323 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,609 Got to do it four times, right? 324 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:44,693 Ow! 325 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,487 ...except herself. 326 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,116 So, how's your week? 327 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,701 Well, I still don't have a date. 328 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,662 I scared a girl off from across the room, 329 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,830 and we had meat loaf twice, and I hate meat loaf. 330 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,790 How? 331 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,541 My mom just made it in the oven. 332 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,086 [chuckles] I mean, how did you scare her away? 333 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,422 I don't know. I've been wondering and wondering and wondering. 334 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,050 Okay. Pretend I'm her. What'd you do? 335 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,387 I just smiled at her like this. 336 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,555 Ah. 337 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,599 I read about it online. 338 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,688 "Making eye contact and smiling are step one for flirting." 339 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,939 That's what I did. Look. 340 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,735 "Insults equal chick on dick." 341 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,696 Not that part. The eye contact part. 342 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,782 Right, but we should get to that at some point. 343 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,535 Anyways, the problem is 344 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:38,497 you're crossing the line from flirty to creepy. 345 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,125 When you make eye contact, you have to look away a bit. 346 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:45,004 But how can I make eye contact and look away? 347 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,297 I mean, I'm not a mantis shrimp. 348 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,590 -[chuckles] -All right. 349 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,969 Okay, you make eye contact... 350 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:53,929 glance away... 351 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,223 make eye contact again. 352 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,809 Otherwise, it can seem scary. 353 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,687 -Hold on. Let me write this down. -Okay. 354 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,773 Now, the smile. 355 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,194 You need to turn that down, like, 70%. 356 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,947 -70% smaller? -At least. 357 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,326 Try no teeth? 358 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,998 Yeah! That's the one. That's perfect. 359 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,795 They didn't taste purple, but they were purple carrots. 360 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,548 -[laughs] -It's a new kind of carrot, right? 361 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,759 It tasted weird, but it was good. 362 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:35,721 Okay, don't look, but there's a couple on my right 363 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:39,266 that's on possibly the worst first date ever. 364 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,143 -[whispering] I said don't look! -These two? 365 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,646 She just asked him if he wanted children. 366 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,442 -They haven't even ordered appetizers. -God. There's no coming back from that. 367 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,778 -We should tell them what they're in for. -No. 368 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:57,159 You know, there is a small chance that you're right. 369 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,202 Yeah? 370 00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,579 -A night out was a good idea. -Just a small chance? 371 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,747 Yeah. 372 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,749 I'm even wearing... 373 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,585 -[whispering] a thong. -[whispering] You are? 374 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,503 Me, too. 375 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,962 [both laugh] 376 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:13,467 -How's yours? Mine's really uncomfortable. -I feel good. Holds everything in place. 377 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,969 [laughs] 378 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:16,929 See, this is nice. 379 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,097 Mm. 380 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,182 -We needed this. -Mm-hmm. 381 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,602 We did. 382 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,273 It's just hard for me to relax sometimes. 383 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,191 [groans] 384 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,736 -I get so worried about the kids and... -I know. But everything's good. 385 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,655 The kids are great. Everything's fine. 386 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,700 -The kids are great? -Oh, come on. Here we go. 387 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,830 No, I just want to hear why you think the kids are so great. 388 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,790 -Why are you getting upset? -I'm not. 389 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,834 You're implying that I worry over nothing. 390 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,378 Well... I mean, sometimes, you do. 391 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,841 I mean, who cares? Sam wants to date. That's good. That's a good thing. 392 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,884 He's 18. It'd be weird if he didn't want to date. 393 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,012 Because, Doug, it's not just dating. 394 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,306 First it's dating, and then he's graduating, 395 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,433 and then he's moving out into the world. 396 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,561 We can't protect him, and that's terrifying. 397 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,020 That's what we want for him. 398 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,313 There's a lot we want 399 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,524 -that aren't possible for him. -How do you know? 400 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:13,152 I'm the one that's been with him for these last 18 years. 401 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,946 You've never been close to him. You don't even try. 402 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:19,283 I mean, honestly, there is times I think you don't even like him. 403 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,911 That's what you think? 404 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:25,956 I love our son. 405 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:31,461 I always have. Has it been hard to connect with him? Yeah, it has been. 406 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,548 I thought he'd be more like me or like you. 407 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,885 He's not like either one of us or anyone else I've ever met. 408 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,678 -I know. -Yeah. 409 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,097 You remember his ninth birthday? 410 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,140 He wanted an igloo. 411 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,267 -And what did I do? -You built it. 412 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,103 Yeah, I spent 19 hours hauling and stacking 413 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,230 fricking ice blocks into the backyard 414 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,482 just so my son would notice I was there. 415 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,109 So he would like me. 416 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,195 And he wouldn't even go inside because... 417 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,488 the ice blocks weren't lined up precisely. 418 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,908 -Okay. -You're not the only one in the family 419 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,492 who has an autistic kid, Elsa. 420 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:05,996 Can I get you anything else? 421 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,540 -No. Thank you. -No, thank you. 422 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,003 [knocking on door] 423 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,296 Not it. 424 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,964 [man speaking indistinctly on TV] 425 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,799 [knocking continues] 426 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,220 Hey! 427 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:25,891 Hi. 428 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:30,270 I just came to get Beth's cake pan back. 429 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,772 Okay. 430 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,941 I could've brought it to school. 431 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:35,442 Weird. 432 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,152 Should I come in or, um... 433 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,654 I'll just hang here. 434 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:41,990 Here you go. 435 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:45,410 It's been washed twice... once by me and once by my mom. 436 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,371 -'Cause that's my mom. -Thanks. 437 00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:51,166 That was nice of you to punch that girl in the face for my sister. 438 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,126 Oh, yeah, you're welcome. 439 00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:56,421 Hey, do you want to go out sometime? 440 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,133 Go out? 441 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:03,720 -With you? -Yeah. That's what I was thinking. 442 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,139 I'm sorry. I don't really date. 443 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,141 It's just not a distraction I need. 444 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,894 I'm gonna get a track scholarship and get out of this town. 445 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,771 Oh. Well, fair enough. 446 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,984 I'm probably gonna change your mind about that dating thing, though. 447 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,735 You know, I kind of grow on people. 448 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,238 Stop the presses! A girl wants to go out with me. 449 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,198 Oh. Hello. 450 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,159 I got to go. 451 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,502 Her name's Bree, B-r-e-e. 452 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:37,838 And she likes something called vegan taquitos, 453 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,299 and she has a cat named Simba. I don't love cats. 454 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,218 -Do you think she'd get rid of it? -Do not ask her that. 455 00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,388 -Where are you gonna go? -I thought about it. 456 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,933 -I'll take her to Techtropolis. -Take a date to an appliance store? 457 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,394 -I have to go where I'm comfortable. -Oh, my God. 458 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:56,189 It'll be fun. We can sample different TVs and see which one has the best clarity. 459 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,150 I know, but we'll see if she gets it right. 460 00:21:58,233 --> 00:21:59,943 -[chimes] -She wants to go for coffee. 461 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,863 -Coffee? -Mm-hmm. 462 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,615 Who goes out for coffee? 463 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,994 Hey. Relax. This is gonna be okay. 464 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,330 No, it's not. 465 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,207 Yeah, no, it's not. 466 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,712 [Sam] Being in a loud, unfamiliar place can be hard for me. 467 00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:21,798 I can't think. I can't listen. I just freeze. 468 00:22:22,382 --> 00:22:24,301 But... don't worry. 469 00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,343 I have a strategy. 470 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,971 Floor here's kind of sticky. 471 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,809 Did you know that some frogs have pads on their feet 472 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:36,188 that secrete a thin layer of mucus so to help them climb things? 473 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:38,982 What's with the headphones? 474 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,986 Oh. I just turned on the noise-cancellation feature. 475 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,405 Need a little protection from the racket. 476 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,658 -[pop music playing] -[customers chattering] 477 00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,082 Baby, those are some serious bug eyes you got. 478 00:22:55,665 --> 00:22:56,500 What? 479 00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,047 Mamacita... 480 00:23:02,589 --> 00:23:03,590 your ass is on the phone? 481 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,221 I don't like cats. Would you be willing to get rid of Simba? 482 00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,602 Yo, I'm clocking out. 483 00:23:15,685 --> 00:23:18,063 -Can you see my nipples through here? -Yes. 484 00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:20,774 Good. I was standing in front of the air conditioner. 485 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,526 So, how's it going with the ladies? 486 00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:25,862 I'm not dating anymore. It's too difficult. 487 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:29,950 You have to guess what people are thinking, and not just people, girls. 488 00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:32,160 -They think I'm weird. -You are weird. So what? 489 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:35,455 The French eat snails. That's weird, but you know they're getting laid. 490 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,040 Hey, look. Red's back. 491 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:39,417 Ask her out. 492 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:40,877 Go, go, go! 493 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:41,962 Go! 494 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,547 Go. 495 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,643 Laser or inkjet? 496 00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:58,228 Oh, uh... 497 00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:01,189 I don't know. I didn't really do any research. 498 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,234 Well, lucky for you, I love research, 499 00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:05,944 and I know all about these printers. 500 00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:07,237 You should get this one. 501 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,781 The other ones are garbage and should be set on fire. 502 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,867 Wow. Thanks. 503 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,702 That's actually really helpful. 504 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,996 [mouthing] 505 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,472 Would you like to go on a date with me? 506 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:37,726 That's the reason I came over here, not to help you with printers. 507 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:39,603 [chuckles] 508 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,398 Okay. 509 00:24:44,941 --> 00:24:46,151 [funk music plays] ♪ Ow! ♪ 510 00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,652 ♪ Gold rush ♪ 511 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:52,032 ♪ Hey, I got... uh! ♪ 512 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,243 ♪ I got to dig for it ♪ 513 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,369 He got a date! 514 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,787 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 515 00:24:58,872 --> 00:24:59,706 [Elsa] Hey, hon. 516 00:24:59,789 --> 00:25:01,541 -You going to hockey? -Yeah. 517 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,126 I shouldn't be home late. 518 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:05,462 Honey. 519 00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:08,965 I'm sorry about dinner the other night. 520 00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:12,093 I'm just stressed, and... it was a really nice idea. 521 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,471 It's all right. Oh, listen, I... 522 00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:15,889 I got you something. 523 00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:17,807 You love to dance, right? 524 00:25:18,725 --> 00:25:22,103 You should check this out, have some fun, maybe make a friend. 525 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,396 You look good. 526 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,689 Sheesh! 527 00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:27,317 I don't even know if I'll be able to dance anymore. 528 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,861 ♪ Mamacita say, "Oh, oh" ♪ 529 00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:32,489 ♪ Mi amigo say, "Oh, Oh" ♪ 530 00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:35,033 ♪ Everybody say, "Oh, oh" ♪ 531 00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:37,244 ♪ We got your drummer there, "Oh, oh" ♪ 532 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,704 ♪ Mamacita say, "Oh, oh" ♪ 533 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,539 ♪ Mi amigo say, "Oh, Oh" ♪ 534 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:44,834 Thank you so much. That was so much fun! 535 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:47,671 Oh, you're welcome! You're great. You're a dancer, huh? 536 00:25:47,754 --> 00:25:49,881 What? Oh, no. I mean, forever ago. 537 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:53,093 I was the captain of the dance squad in college. 538 00:25:53,176 --> 00:25:54,469 -Oh. -Yeah. 539 00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:56,805 We ranked nationally three times, almost four. 540 00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:59,015 We were robbed, but whatever. I'm over it. 541 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,811 Hey, a few of us are gonna go grab a drink. You want to come? 542 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,480 Um, uh... 543 00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:07,857 Sure. 544 00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:09,609 [laughing] 545 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,278 This is so much fun. 546 00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,198 I feel like I'm back in college again. 547 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,199 [laughs] 548 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,203 Want another drink? 549 00:26:20,912 --> 00:26:23,290 Um... no, thanks. 550 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:26,543 I think I've escaped my real life long enough. 551 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:32,215 I don't know why I said that. I love my life. I love it. Love it. 552 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:33,633 This one's on me. 553 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,060 When you told me we were having dinner in the Techtropolis parking lot, 554 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,645 I thought you were kidding. 555 00:26:46,479 --> 00:26:47,522 No, I don't do that. 556 00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:49,649 Oh. 557 00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,151 -You're very pretty. -Thanks. 558 00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:53,737 I always thought my nose was too big. 559 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:56,990 A little, but the rest of your face makes up for it. 560 00:26:58,241 --> 00:26:59,659 [laughs] 561 00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:00,827 Wow. 562 00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:02,203 You're really honest, huh? 563 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,955 Yes. Is that bad? 564 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,958 No. It's refreshing. 565 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:08,960 -Tell me more. -Okay. 566 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,713 I'm really good at fixing computers, 567 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,174 and biology is my favorite subject in school. 568 00:27:14,257 --> 00:27:15,383 Girls don't like me. 569 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,803 I love penguins, but I'm not supposed to talk about it. 570 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,388 I've never had sex before, 571 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:22,807 and I have a pet turtle named Edison, 572 00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,602 who's named after Thomas Edison, but he's not as smart. 573 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:26,895 [laughs] 574 00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,647 You're hilarious. 575 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:30,774 Thank you. 576 00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:34,903 You never had sex? 577 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,404 No. 578 00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:39,657 Want to? 579 00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:43,661 [footsteps approaching] 580 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:45,413 -[breathing heavily] -Hey. 581 00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:48,166 [panting] 582 00:27:50,710 --> 00:27:51,628 What are you doing? 583 00:27:51,711 --> 00:27:55,298 I just came to see if you changed your mind about going out with me. 584 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:57,801 I brought you this. 585 00:27:57,884 --> 00:28:00,095 What is up with your family bringing me sweets? 586 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:02,430 I don't know. I like you. 587 00:28:03,306 --> 00:28:04,140 Why? 588 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:05,517 Uh... 589 00:28:07,143 --> 00:28:11,147 'Cause most people don't stand up to assholes, but you do. 590 00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:26,955 -Then there was Mel. -Mm-hmm. 591 00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:29,290 That was my longest relationship, like a month. 592 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,417 Wow. A month. 593 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,043 Stop it. [chuckles] 594 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:35,130 Why am I telling you this? Let's talk about something else. 595 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,424 What? No. I want to hear about your month with Mel. 596 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:38,883 [chuckles] 597 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,680 I don't know. I like what I do, I guess. 598 00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:46,057 -Mm-hmm. -I don't mean my job necessarily. 599 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:47,559 Just my life. 600 00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:51,062 I wake up when I want. I do what I want. I go where I want. 601 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,606 Last week, I wanted to go to the mountains, so I did. 602 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,109 I didn't have to plan anything or run it by anyone. 603 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,862 I mean, that may be weird, but I just... 604 00:28:58,945 --> 00:29:00,029 I need that. 605 00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:03,491 [chuckles] 606 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,202 Is that totally lame or what? 607 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,165 No, that sounds great. 608 00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:12,834 I mean, you're a little old for that, but, you know? 609 00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,420 -Thanks. -[both laugh] 610 00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:18,923 I think, if it were really, really cold, 611 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,592 like Antarctica cold, 612 00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:23,178 the coldness would feel like a sound. 613 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:26,014 The cold would be so intense that you could hear it. 614 00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:27,515 I would like to hear that sound. 615 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,392 [Milo Greene's "Cutty Love" plays] 616 00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:40,445 ♪ I slip softly through ♪ 617 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:44,365 Never been in a dorm. This isn't what I thought it would smell like. 618 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,827 Yeah. My roommate makes a lot of ramen. 619 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:51,331 [Sam] Sometimes, being touched makes me... jumpy. 620 00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:54,209 It has to be hard touch, uh, pressure. 621 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,377 I like pressure. I don't like soft. 622 00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:58,880 Is that okay to say on the first date? 623 00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,840 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 624 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,053 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 625 00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:10,350 ♪ It'll burn, burn, burn, burn, burn ♪ 626 00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,644 ♪ Burn us both alive ♪ 627 00:30:17,106 --> 00:30:17,941 Aah! 628 00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:19,484 What the hell? 629 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:23,321 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 630 00:30:23,404 --> 00:30:24,864 What is wrong with you? 631 00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:28,618 Seriously, are you retarded? Is there something wrong with your brain? 632 00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,957 Get the hell out of my room. 633 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:40,380 Sometimes, when I feel most alone, 634 00:30:40,463 --> 00:30:42,507 I imagine myself in that ice... 635 00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:45,760 frozen, unable to move, but safe. 636 00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:50,682 [horn blares] 637 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:59,190 I thought technical school would be dumb, but I actually really like it. 638 00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:00,400 [chuckles] 639 00:31:00,483 --> 00:31:03,820 Oh, hey. There he is, the "twat" guy. 640 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:05,864 What's wrong? 641 00:31:07,448 --> 00:31:09,075 -[Sam sniffling] -Sam? 642 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,422 Here. Careful, it's hot. 643 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,759 [Evan] Hey, dude, don't feel too bad. 644 00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:28,678 The first time's always a shit show. 645 00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:33,975 My first time was on a Ping-Pong table, and it collapsed like two seconds in. 646 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:36,853 My balls got all wrapped up in the net. Really freaked her out. 647 00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:40,315 How about you, Case? Was it crappy your first time? 648 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:41,774 Okay, gross. 649 00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:44,485 I'm not discussing my sex life in front of my brother. 650 00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:46,654 Not that there's anything to discuss. 651 00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:51,242 Sometimes, I wish I was normal. 652 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:52,660 Well, dude... 653 00:31:53,286 --> 00:31:54,370 nobody's normal. 654 00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:01,252 [breathes deeply] 655 00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:23,358 In fourth grade, my biology teacher, Mr. Durocher-- 656 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:27,403 he was fat-- said penguins are similar to humans... 657 00:32:28,696 --> 00:32:32,408 because once they copulate, they stay with the same partner for life. 658 00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:35,453 So, what about you? What's your life like? 659 00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:37,538 -Mm. -[chuckles] 660 00:32:38,081 --> 00:32:41,000 Well, ironically, when I was in college, 661 00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:43,211 I also dated a girl for about a month. 662 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,629 [laughs] 663 00:32:44,712 --> 00:32:46,506 Mm. [laughs] 664 00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:49,258 And I am a hairdresser. 665 00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:50,593 Yours is too short. 666 00:32:50,677 --> 00:32:51,678 [chuckles] 667 00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:55,014 You're funny. And kind of mean. 668 00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,933 [both chuckle] 669 00:32:57,892 --> 00:33:00,144 Yeah, I'm always mean to people I like. 670 00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,939 I think it's 'cause I expect so much. 671 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,108 So you like me. 672 00:33:05,191 --> 00:33:06,818 [both laugh] 673 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:10,071 [Sam] But according to the 2010 census, 674 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:12,365 which is the most recent data I could acquire, 675 00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:15,034 49% of marriages end in divorce. 676 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:19,414 Sorry. Um... 677 00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,501 You know, um... 678 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:26,421 if you turn the heat up on your dishwasher, 679 00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:29,882 you won't have those ugly white spots on the glasses. Just so... 680 00:33:42,353 --> 00:33:43,813 [Sam] Penguins mate for life. 681 00:33:45,648 --> 00:33:48,317 So penguins aren't like people. 682 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,490 They're better. 683 00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:17,680 I wonder if they ever get tired of swimming. 684 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,307 They don't. 685 00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:26,981 You know, Casey... told me what happened... 686 00:34:28,357 --> 00:34:29,650 with the girl. 687 00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,279 I wish I had a time machine. 688 00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:36,699 I would go back in time and never ask her out 689 00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:39,243 and also maybe visit the Middle Ages because... 690 00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:40,578 jousting. 691 00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:45,208 Look, I don't know about some of that stuff you're into, 692 00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:48,377 but girls I know about, okay? And they're tough. 693 00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:52,799 I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there. 694 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:58,096 I should never go on another date. I should just stay away from girls. 695 00:34:58,971 --> 00:35:01,849 Sam, look, you got some stuff to figure out, but you will. 696 00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:04,894 You're a good guy. 697 00:35:04,977 --> 00:35:07,188 You're sensitive, and you're funny, 698 00:35:07,271 --> 00:35:10,274 and the woman who ends up with you will be lucky. 699 00:35:11,651 --> 00:35:13,319 You want to marry your best friend. 700 00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:15,530 Edison? 701 00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:16,572 No. 702 00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:18,491 Not your turtle, Sam. 703 00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:20,993 You said my best friend. He's my best friend. 704 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:23,121 I just... 705 00:35:24,038 --> 00:35:28,292 I meant you want to be with someone who appreciates you for what you are. 706 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:32,797 You know, who loves all the little odd things about you... 707 00:35:33,506 --> 00:35:34,590 who gets you. 708 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:39,762 Penguins mate for life, you know? 709 00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:42,515 Yeah? 710 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,184 Well, good for them. 711 00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:50,565 So, how are you feeling now? Still ready to give up on dating? 712 00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:53,317 I don't know. My dad said to find someone 713 00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:56,571 who appreciates me for what I am, which is a weirdo. 714 00:35:57,530 --> 00:35:58,614 We talked a lot. 715 00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,158 Glad to hear it. 716 00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:03,411 And that makes sense. You're easy to talk to. 717 00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:08,291 Yeah. 718 00:36:09,041 --> 00:36:10,376 You're easy to talk to, too, 719 00:36:10,459 --> 00:36:13,671 which is good 'cause, otherwise, you'd go broke. 720 00:36:13,754 --> 00:36:14,964 [chuckles] 721 00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:21,179 [Sam] When a male gentoo penguin chooses a mate, 722 00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:22,346 he makes an offering. 723 00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:24,682 He finds a pebble, 724 00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:27,101 often taking the time to find the smoothest one, 725 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,020 and presents it to the female. 726 00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:32,690 I'm a human, so it would be weird to offer a pebble. 727 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:34,233 Julia. 728 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:39,197 -I've decided I want to give you my brain. -[gasps] Really? 729 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,448 After I die. 730 00:36:41,115 --> 00:36:42,950 Oh, Sam, that's so great. 731 00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:46,871 You're gonna help so many people. 732 00:36:46,954 --> 00:36:48,581 [chuckles] 733 00:36:48,664 --> 00:36:50,291 Good smile. 734 00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:51,751 It's not creepy at all. 735 00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:53,252 I've been practicing. 736 00:36:53,336 --> 00:36:54,503 Yeah, I can tell. 737 00:36:56,839 --> 00:36:59,425 [Sam] If the female places the pebble in her nest, 738 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:01,219 she accepts him as a mate. 739 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,846 And as you already know, penguins mate for life.