1
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,982
‎札希德，我們得談談

2
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,027
‎請你自行坐下

3
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,071
‎自行坐下？好吧

4
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,485
‎怎麼回事？

5
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,038
‎格蕾琴實在糟糕透頂

6
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,206
‎你上次跟她交往

7
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,331
‎她吸乾你的精力，在婚禮上甩掉你

8
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,838
‎你得跟她分手

9
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,879
‎你說得有理，山姆，但有個問題

10
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:49,966
‎-什麼問題？
‎-我不要

11
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,303
‎可是她很糟糕

12
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,215
‎我知道

13
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:56,063
‎但自從我知道我有睪丸腫瘤

14
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,019
‎心裡只有格蕾琴
‎好像只能用老二思考

15
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,810
‎根本不是我打給她的
‎是我的老二打的，山姆

16
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,856
‎不是屁股去壓到手機

17
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,903
‎是屌打的

18
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,324
‎我很懷疑

19
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,151
‎總之，沒什麼好擔心的，兄弟

20
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:14,987
‎這次我跟格蕾琴完全只有性關係

21
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,575
‎我們只是兩個心意相投的戰士

22
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,160
‎照《慾經》上的指示做運動而已

23
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,996
‎就像我蛋蛋的遺願清單

24
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,292
‎這樣錯了嗎？

25
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:25,964
‎對，你的行為
‎跟羅伯特法爾肯史考特一樣

26
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,344
‎謝謝？

27
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,710
‎不客氣，才怪

28
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,337
‎成功的探險家會規劃，採取預防措施

29
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,054
‎羅伯特法爾肯史考特只想逞威風

30
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:37,675
‎所以他想用人力拖行穿越南極

31
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,024
‎什麼意思？

32
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,729
‎他和隊員扛著所有設備和物資

33
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,190
‎不是用狗拖行

34
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,359
‎他們最後累死了

35
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,858
‎我一定會補充水分

36
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,191
‎-講完了？
‎-還沒

37
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,525
‎格蕾琴不是好人，不要跟她交往

38
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,911
‎可惜，在缺乏者訴擁有者一案

39
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:57,409
‎陪審團站在我的蛋蛋這一邊

40
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,542
‎格蕾琴會留下

41
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:00,911
‎聊天愉快，好朋友

42
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,249
‎NETFLIX 獨家影集

43
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:16,892
‎家裡為什麼沒人知道
‎怎麼把牛奶蓋上？

44
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,850
‎我們知道，只是覺得
‎你常把牛奶灑出來很好玩

45
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:23,428
‎你猜附近的高級雜貨店有賣什麼？

46
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:27,148
‎不同堅果製成的各式花生醬

47
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,730
‎比較難吃，價格還貴一倍？

48
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:34,066
‎對，但還有這個！

49
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,990
‎酸麵種，跟媽謀殺的那個一樣

50
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,202
‎又來一堆黏液

51
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,366
‎對，重點不是黏液

52
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,624
‎是它的象徵

53
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:49,212
‎你要專注在其他事，別管我的田徑

54
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,546
‎我知道我把妳逼得有點緊

55
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:53,970
‎抱歉，只是…

56
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,429
‎有個潛力無窮的明星孩子
‎很讓人興奮

57
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,434
‎我不是明星

58
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,722
‎妳是

59
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,726
‎總之，我只是要妳專心

60
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,312
‎別因為其他東西分心

61
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,564
‎東西

62
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,482
‎例如留在山姆房裡的“東西”？

63
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,895
‎我只是說說

64
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,072
‎天啊，媽又做派了嗎？

65
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,655
‎對，但這個有更遠大的目的
‎不是給妳的

66
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,661
‎更遠大的目的？它是下任教宗嗎？

67
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,504
‎-嘗一小口就好
‎-我說不行

68
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,250
‎妳的指甲怎麼了？

69
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,252
‎沒事

70
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,825
‎再見

71
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,593
‎我真的不懂

72
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,420
‎他怎麼能又跟格蕾琴在一起？

73
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,295
‎她是控制狂，她恨高等教育

74
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,843
‎而且會違法

75
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,007
‎聽起來很完美

76
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,644
‎幹嘛？我喜歡壞女生

77
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,893
‎我前女友騎偉士牌機車撞我

78
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:47,806
‎我好想她

79
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,693
‎如果你抱怨完了這個
‎我們沒見過的女生

80
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,573
‎我有個機會要給你

81
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,110
‎你的南極之旅資金募集得怎樣？

82
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,109
‎還可以，但還需要更多錢

83
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,657
‎我想也是

84
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,578
‎瞧瞧這可愛的傢伙

85
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,620
‎有個古怪的女人

86
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:09,293
‎她想請人畫她的貓，但貓要扮成牛仔

87
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,884
‎不了，謝謝，我已經夠煩的了

88
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,421
‎酬勞是五百美元

89
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,875
‎這是她的要求清單

90
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,840
‎她要貓穿皮套褲，戴牛仔帽？

91
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,678
‎我不會喜歡的

92
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:24,973
‎我知道

93
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,435
‎我在翻妳的背包，想偷一件T恤…

94
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,903
‎-侵犯隱私
‎-妳知道妳只帶了

95
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,904
‎一堆襪子和一個運動胸罩吧？

96
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,109
‎對，我知道

97
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,954
‎我打包得很匆忙

98
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,450
‎我媽把我趕出來

99
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:47,950
‎我不…

100
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,294
‎怎麼了？

101
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,082
‎妳懂的，我媽就是那樣

102
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,126
‎我打算告訴妳

103
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,461
‎但我不想馬上說

104
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,627
‎沒關係，我了解

105
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,934
‎妳想參加派對嗎？

106
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:05,893
‎什麼？

107
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:10,555
‎艾莉卡要請人去玩，可能很好玩

108
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,404
‎我喜歡玩樂

109
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,357
‎但田徑比賽呢？

110
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,232
‎我們不是應該休息？

111
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,187
‎大概吧

112
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,159
‎但我說我會去

113
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,163
‎沒關係，我自己去就好

114
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,246
‎不，我跟妳去

115
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:32,754
‎真的？

116
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,214
‎對

117
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:37,552
‎我喜歡派對，也喜歡人

118
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,548
‎我是喜歡派對的人

119
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:40,630
‎好

120
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:42,723
‎謝謝

121
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,941
‎今天是大喜之日

122
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,032
‎-是嗎？
‎-對

123
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,910
‎經過這麼久
‎我終於加入了加德納群組

124
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:11,082
‎我一直覺得自己是這個家的榮譽成員

125
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,542
‎現在總算確認了

126
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,541
‎我要想好我的第一次發言

127
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,955
‎可能是張哏圖
‎上面有海盜說“我們是一家人”

128
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,466
‎或是黃色棉花糖小雞

129
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,219
‎上面寫“嗨，我的家人”

130
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:26,795
‎你覺得呢？

131
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,425
‎我不在乎

132
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,312
‎好吧，真沒禮貌

133
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:32,728
‎對不起

134
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,099
‎我對這個沒興趣，我一在想

135
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,516
‎我要畫的那隻蠢貓
‎我不知道從何著手

136
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,444
‎要聽建議嗎？

137
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,574
‎做自己就好了，你是優秀的畫家

138
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,074
‎我相信，不管你怎麼畫都會很棒

139
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,026
‎要是我能專心的話

140
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,117
‎但不可能，札希德和格蕾琴

141
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,332
‎整天大聲做愛，在他房裡

142
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,423
‎還有浴室和廚房

143
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,498
‎我確定他們也在車庫裡做噁心的事

144
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,634
‎但我馬上跑掉，沒有確認

145
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,919
‎這我能了解

146
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,715
‎但你必須承認

147
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:08,179
‎他們對彼此有某種獸性的吸引力

148
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,141
‎相較之下

149
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:12,770
‎我們的性生活就有點平靜

150
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,309
‎我的第一根性愛蠟燭還在

151
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,893
‎上禮拜我還得清灰塵

152
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,268
‎起碼很乾淨

153
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,481
‎我一直在想，你就要離開了

154
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,146
‎我們應該把握剩下的時間

155
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,609
‎我們應該要有多一點性愛

156
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,914
‎好啊

157
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:30,991
‎好

158
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:33,075
‎下次我來的時候就要開戰

159
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:37,963
‎到時候我們要把衣服脫個精光

160
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,344
‎嗨，媽

161
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:48,802
‎哈囉

162
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,311
‎請進

163
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,056
‎這個派…

164
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:01,981
‎很好吃

165
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:05,823
‎-很高興妳喜歡
‎-當然

166
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,696
‎妳一直很愛吃櫻桃

167
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,361
‎記得我們去密西根那次嗎？

168
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,448
‎第一天，妳就不見了

169
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:15,540
‎我發現妳在後面採櫻桃，採了一堆

170
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,789
‎手和臉都紅通通的

171
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,880
‎好像是犯了什麼可怕的罪

172
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:27,382
‎-妳竟然還記得
‎-當然

173
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,134
‎那是大日子

174
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,553
‎-然後我們烤了東西
‎-對，我們烤了東西

175
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,927
‎我好像有度假的照片

176
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,394
‎在這裡等，我去拿

177
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:41,938
‎等我回來

178
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,862
‎我要再吃一片可口的派

179
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,238
‎這是什麼鬼？

180
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,411
‎我的西大荒貓咪畫

181
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,786
‎牛仔帽呢？皮套褲呢？

182
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,788
‎她指名要畫皮套褲

183
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,460
‎這隻貓絕對沒穿皮套褲

184
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,080
‎我知道，但我不愛貓

185
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,377
‎我沒畫過我不愛的東西

186
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:09,592
‎我女友說就照自己的意思畫
‎我就這樣畫了

187
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,304
‎這建議很糟糕

188
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,853
‎我是不是搞錯了？
‎我要找新的畫家嗎？

189
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,310
‎酬勞五百美元

190
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,430
‎我十歲的姪女三兩下就能畫完

191
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,230
‎不，我知道我能畫醜東西

192
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:26,482
‎我只是需要專心，雖然這會更加困難

193
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,936
‎因為我女友想加強性生活

194
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,776
‎這就是你的問題

195
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,241
‎你不能把貓畫好
‎因為你的腦子裡都是鮑魚

196
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,203
‎什麼？

197
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,913
‎艾薩牛頓、尼古拉特斯拉、莫札特

198
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,664
‎偉人都誓言放棄性愛，才能一展長才

199
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,666
‎所以我也誓言放棄性愛

200
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,075
‎那是因為你喜歡的女生

201
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,917
‎交了摔角隊的男友

202
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,923
‎我考慮過眾多的因素

203
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,179
‎太完美了

204
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,312
‎先生，你好

205
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,234
‎壞消息，佩姬

206
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,654
‎席德說我要畫完西大荒貓咪
‎才能做愛

207
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:10,614
‎什麼？

208
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,613
‎我誓言放棄性愛

209
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,315
‎席德說性愛和成功只能二選一
‎我選擇成功

210
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,737
‎如果我想去南極，就得這樣

211
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:20,575
‎席德這樣說？

212
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,618
‎真可惜，我們本來可能會
‎做到天崩地裂

213
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,005
‎好吧，那我就回家吧

214
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,136
‎好，再見，佩姬

215
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,650
‎在煩什麼？

216
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,146
‎沒有，我沒事

217
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,994
‎天啊，我跟山姆

218
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,280
‎原本會有個美好的夜晚，我們打算要

219
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,197
‎做愛，現在沒了

220
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,872
‎我懂，性功能障礙

221
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,124
‎不，我們沒有障礙

222
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:10,418
‎我只是想讓性生活更刺激點

223
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,673
‎佩姬

224
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:13,963
‎妳好笨

225
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,548
‎什麼？

226
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,303
‎妳想要多點性愛

227
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,675
‎就得知道男友的癖好

228
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,602
‎他的什麼？

229
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,600
‎不好意思，能小聲一點嗎？

230
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,183
‎席德急著要這張畫

231
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,437
‎我記不得痰盂長什麼樣

232
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,810
‎這個叫席德的小子把你逼得好緊

233
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:30,897
‎什麼？

234
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,271
‎席德是女生

235
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,488
‎席德明顯是女生的名字

236
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,818
‎拜託，只能用心電感應

237
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,989
‎席德是女生？

238
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,538
‎妳不知道？

239
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:48,458
‎剛才說到哪？

240
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,708
‎男人就像動物
‎而且不是海豚那種聰明的動物

241
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,205
‎妳要知道怎樣激起他們的性慾

242
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:58,677
‎例如，札希德非常重視視覺

243
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,257
‎學著點

244
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,320
‎三、二

245
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,324
‎一

246
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,492
‎夫人

247
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,830
‎我要求妳到閨房去

248
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,449
‎趕緊，夫人，趕緊

249
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,663
‎看到沒？待會再說

250
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:29,923
‎-妳還好嗎？
‎-很好

251
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:37,054
‎我們有說有笑，一邊吃著派

252
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,048
‎但她也很溫柔

253
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,344
‎會聽我說話

254
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,932
‎其實滿

255
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:45,927
‎有趣的

256
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:47,475
‎我不知道

257
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,651
‎有生以來，我第一次充滿希望

258
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:57,284
‎-我下禮拜想再見她
‎-太好了

259
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,489
‎我應該去看凱希嗎？

260
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,361
‎是不是該熄燈了？

261
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,238
‎她不在，我今晚讓她跟伊茲出去

262
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,036
‎過幾天就要比賽

263
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,039
‎現在是鬆懈的時候？

264
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,041
‎是的

265
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,674
‎我要幫你再倒一杯酒

266
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,541
‎因為你太掃興了

267
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,708
‎好吧

268
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,672
‎我不想掃興

269
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,678
‎妳可以的

270
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,738
‎（浪漫星期五）

271
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,501
‎什麼？

272
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:50,408
‎（加德納群組）

273
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,206
‎（凱希加德納：屁股很美！）

274
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,208
‎（艾莎：這裡不能傳這個）

275
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,593
‎慘了！

276
00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,918
‎天哪！

277
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,167
‎慘了

278
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,929
‎起碼屁股很可愛

279
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,973
‎我喜歡這種星期內褲

280
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,687
‎忘記星期幾，就看一下屁股

281
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:13,598
‎對啊

282
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:17,728
‎妳們真是天造地設的一對

283
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,815
‎我永遠找不到這樣的愛人

284
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,150
‎我們也有問題

285
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,445
‎對，她的腳趾甲很利

286
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,109
‎根本是爪子

287
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,116
‎她上禮拜替我考試

288
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,329
‎-妳說真的嗎？
‎-對

289
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,120
‎但我已經不氣了

290
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,001
‎還有一件小事很困擾我

291
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:35,922
‎什麼事？

292
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,670
‎我知道如果學校發現
‎凱希也不會有事

293
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:41,552
‎如果她去自首的話

294
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,680
‎如果他們覺得是我
‎一定會把我踢出去

295
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:48,138
‎凱希好像碰不得

296
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,097
‎不可能，太誇張了

297
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,022
‎我賭一百美元

298
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,944
‎-不可能
‎-怎麼，我不可能有一百元？

299
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,569
‎妳說得沒錯

300
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:11,453
‎-伊茲，吃早餐？
‎-不用，沒關係，喝咖啡就好

301
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,156
‎不然吃雞蛋、培根

302
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,626
‎水果和派就好了，怎麼樣？

303
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,420
‎好吧，謝謝

304
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,336
‎妳們看

305
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,132
‎加州大學洛杉磯分校寄的

306
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,375
‎是什麼？你打開我的信？

307
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,848
‎抱歉，我看到學校的名字，太激動了

308
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,509
‎這是正式的申請信函

309
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,178
‎他們對妳很感興趣

310
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:37,346
‎他們會派人去看妳下次比賽

311
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,016
‎我們的小羚羊

312
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,114
‎-我好以妳為榮，凱希
‎-我也是

313
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:44,816
‎夢想要成真了

314
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,150
‎我們兩個都是

315
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,197
‎不，只有妳

316
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,908
‎不能鬆懈了，要全力以赴，對吧？

317
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,043
‎我作弊

318
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,497
‎我幫伊茲寫物理考卷

319
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,844
‎我準備接受懲罰，不管是什麼懲罰

320
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,970
‎謝謝妳坦承

321
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,262
‎謝謝妳讓我知道

322
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:53,756
‎沒事了

323
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,062
‎什麼？

324
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,230
‎妳把實話說出來，一吐為快

325
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,229
‎展翅高飛吧，鳥兒

326
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:03,226
‎就這樣？

327
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,478
‎我沒有麻煩？

328
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,228
‎妳想要嗎？

329
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,662
‎妳想去加州大學洛杉磯分校
‎那是妳的夢想

330
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,529
‎妳犯了錯，妳坦承錯誤，沒事了

331
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,954
‎讓丹頓大學在田徑賽上以妳為榮

332
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:23,673
‎好

333
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,114
‎（呆子證書，山姆加德納）

334
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,368
‎（借據：蠢薯餅，愛你呦，格蕾琴）

335
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,578
‎（現代家電行）

336
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:06,125
‎山姆，怎麼了？你今天沒工作

337
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,340
‎格蕾琴吃了我的薯餅

338
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,220
‎對，抱歉，老兄，但她留了借據

339
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,049
‎我下次買來還你

340
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:18,635
‎或者你可以跟格蕾琴分手
‎這能解決更大的問題

341
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,523
‎不會吧？又來了？

342
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,889
‎對，又來了，這沒完沒了

343
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,306
‎這是我的決定

344
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,015
‎如果你覺得這個決定不好

345
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,026
‎那我真的也無能為力

346
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,739
‎羅伯特法爾肯史考特
‎一定也跟隊友講過這句話

347
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,621
‎當時他帶了小馬去南極
‎而不是雪橇狗

348
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,238
‎沒錯，小馬

349
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,575
‎在南極的雪中行走

350
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,541
‎不，你不懂

351
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,325
‎我和格蕾琴原本只是互玩跨下

352
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,336
‎但我們在一起越久…

353
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,671
‎我誤會她了，她其實很棒

354
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:54,875
‎格蕾琴糟糕透頂

355
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:55,797
‎好吧

356
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,303
‎你如果要這樣

357
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,757
‎那就別來看我照超音波

358
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,178
‎或任何檢查

359
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,846
‎我會叫格蕾琴陪我，至少她在乎我

360
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,055
‎和我的蛋蛋！

361
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,185
‎-好，我不去！
‎-很好！

362
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,446
‎所以

363
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,535
‎大家都看到我的屁股了

364
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,540
‎佩姬，親愛的，不必…

365
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,252
‎我覺得有必要

366
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,752
‎我不希望我在加德納群組裡

367
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,035
‎給人這個印象

368
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:34,298
‎我通常很會運用哏圖

369
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,301
‎我還為這件事做了一個

370
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,053
‎（我屁股糗大了）

371
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,509
‎-對，很聰明
‎-對

372
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,679
‎但你們也知道，山姆要走了

373
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:50,016
‎我很緊張，想要多點親密關係

374
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:51,515
‎好，我要走了

375
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,727
‎晚安，佩姬

376
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,355
‎好

377
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:04,828
‎真希望我能彌補
‎我通常不會做這種蠢事

378
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,326
‎我最近不太對勁

379
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:11,384
‎要是能回到過去，阻止這件事發生

380
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:12,747
‎我會的

381
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,668
‎對啊

382
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:20,469
‎能結束了嗎？

383
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,393
‎好

384
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,386
‎山姆要去南極洲

385
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,604
‎天啊

386
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,402
‎這件事我很難理解接受

387
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:33,769
‎但可能成真，我可能得面對

388
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,777
‎只是太可怕了

389
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:39,069
‎看孩子到外面去闖蕩，真的很可怕

390
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,492
‎但如果他們不去，豈不更可怕？

391
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,533
‎我的朋友潔絲敏

392
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,998
‎兒子40歲了還住家裡

393
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,623
‎他把武士刀收藏放在地下室

394
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:58,625
‎這樣好棒，我能再回來嗎？

395
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,835
‎要是妳不再來，我會生氣的

396
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,655
‎請幫我問候妳媽

397
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:25,738
‎什麼？

398
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,633
‎妳沒有去自首吧？

399
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:37,503
‎我試過了

400
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,676
‎妳說得對，看來我欠妳一百美元

401
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,466
‎妳幹嘛去？

402
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,716
‎因為我在派對上說的話？那是蠢話

403
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,385
‎不是真的要妳去

404
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:49,983
‎我知道，只是…

405
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,227
‎我覺得我必須自首

406
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,864
‎幸好妳沒被停學

407
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,191
‎我們需要妳

408
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,935
‎團隊需要妳，妳很重要

409
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,826
‎大家知道妳很特別，其實沒關係

410
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,754
‎完全沒人注意我，壓力會比較少

411
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:35,398
‎（格蕾琴：抱歉
‎寶貝，我會晚一點）

412
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:36,309
‎（多晚？）

413
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:42,150
‎（我不去了，臨時約到髮型師
‎祝你的蛋蛋好運！哈哈！）

414
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,445
‎嗨，我是瑞奇

415
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,325
‎今天我幫你做超音波檢查

416
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:51,240
‎嗨，瑞奇

417
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,665
‎希望你不介意，我不想說話

418
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:57,039
‎沒問題

419
00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,214
‎我女友應該要來，但她沒來

420
00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:01,665
‎其實她是爛人

421
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,875
‎我最好的朋友
‎一直跟我講一個以前的探險家

422
00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,756
‎他想證明自己的男子氣概
‎結果害死一群人

423
00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:11,354
‎我在想，也許那就是我
‎因為我很擔心

424
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:15,772
‎像札哥這樣的情人
‎怎能只有一顆蛋？

425
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,730
‎男人只剩一顆蛋

426
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,404
‎還是能風流倜儻嗎？

427
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:26,279
‎要是失去一顆睪丸
‎讓我失去雄風呢？

428
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:30,243
‎札希德
‎你說我不在乎你的蛋，但我在乎

429
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:34,156
‎失去一顆睪丸，不會讓你失去雄風

430
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,963
‎其實，我研究過

431
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,500
‎一顆睪丸移除後
‎另一顆通常會加以彌補

432
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:43,335
‎增加分泌睪固酮和精子數量

433
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,262
‎所以會有兩倍的精子

434
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:47,261
‎你是說

435
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,887
‎我會有超能力蛋蛋？

436
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:51,756
‎不算是

437
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,137
‎有點像，還不錯

438
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:55,930
‎還有一件事

439
00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:57,477
‎我跟格蕾琴分手了

440
00:23:57,978 --> 00:23:59,598
‎抱歉，我沒聽你的

441
00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,185
‎不是第一次了

442
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,023
‎至少最後還是聽了

443
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,228
‎對

444
00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:07,277
‎本來手術後，格蕾琴要載我的

445
00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:09,492
‎我要去找別人了

446
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:13,123
‎我想問傑和帕德瑪
‎但他們很容易就哭了

447
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:14,081
‎叫來福車好了

448
00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:15,866
‎我來

449
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,414
‎我載你回家

450
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:19,617
‎-但你不會開車
‎-我會學

451
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,038
‎真的嗎？

452
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:23,666
‎謝了，老兄

453
00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:26,919
‎但現在我要去畫牛仔貓了

454
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:29,717
‎所言甚是

455
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:48,566
‎嗨，山姆

456
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,781
‎我在想

457
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:58,082
‎我傳那張屁股的照片
‎是因為我吃醋了

458
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,834
‎我沒有安全感，控制慾作祟

459
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:04,587
‎基本上，我變成了格蕾琴

460
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:08,467
‎但我不需要她的建議，我了解我男友

461
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:10,549
‎你想要嗎？

462
00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:15,098
‎不想，其實我很沮喪，沒有靈感

463
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:19,136
‎那麼

464
00:25:20,268 --> 00:25:21,598
‎也許這有幫助

465
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:31,033
‎妳在幹嘛？

466
00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:36,118
‎天啊，那是…

467
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,161
‎阿德利企鵝求偶舞？

468
00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:40,035
‎沒錯

469
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:41,369
‎喜歡嗎？

470
00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,628
‎妳為了我學的？

471
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:49,173
‎只為了你

472
00:26:02,769 --> 00:26:04,149
‎（加州大學洛杉磯分校）

473
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,059
‎（帥氣達陣）

474
00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:06,606
‎加油

475
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,496
‎-嘿
‎-嘿

476
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,535
‎那是她？

477
00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:29,712
‎應該是

478
00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:31,593
‎跑者，請就位

479
00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:33,843
‎來，輪到我們了

480
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:27,193
‎預備

481
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:35,993
‎快跑！

482
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:37,659
‎凱希，快跑！

483
00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:45,350
‎字幕翻譯：黃英哲