1
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:23,647
[screams]

2
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,982
Zahid, we need to talk.

3
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,027
Please sit down of your own accord.

4
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,071
Of my own accord? Okay.

5
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,485
What's going on, Sammy?

6
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,038
What's going on is Gretchen is the worst.

7
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,076
The last time you dated her,
she sucked out your life force

8
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,837
and left you at the altar.
You need to break up with her.

9
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,799
You make some good points, Sammy.

10
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,920
-But there's one problem.
-What?

11
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:49,967
I refuse.

12
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,302
But she's awful.

13
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,215
I know.

14
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:56,063
But ever since I found out
about my love lump,

15
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,019
I'm all about the Gretch.
It's like my junk has taken over.

16
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:02,810
I'm not even the one that called her.
My dong dialed the phone, Sam.

17
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,396
It wasn't a butt dial. It was a…
[chuckles]

18
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,902
…a nut dial.

19
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,324
I doubt that.

20
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,152
Anyhoo, you got nothing
to worry about, brother.

21
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:14,987
This time around,
me and Gretch are purely sexual.

22
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,575
We're just two mutually-consenting alphas

23
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,160
sport-grinding our way
through the Kama Sutra.

24
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,956
It's like a bucket list for my balls.

25
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,290
Is that so wrong?

26
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:25,964
Yes. You're acting
like Robert Falcon Scott.

27
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,344
Thank you?

28
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,710
You're not welcome.

29
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,337
Successful explorers
plan and take precautions,

30
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,054
but Robert Falcon Scott
just wanted to be macho.

31
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:37,675
So he tried to cross Antarctica
by man-hauling.

32
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,064
-What is that?
-It means he and his crew

33
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:43,141
carried all of their equipment
and supplies instead of using dogs.

34
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,358
They got so tired, they died.

35
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,858
Well, I'll def make sure to hydrate.

36
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,191
-Is that all?
-[Sam] No.

37
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,525
Gretchen is bad news,
and I don't want you to date her.

38
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,821
Sadly in the case of Wanters v. Getters,

39
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,406
the jury sides with my balls.

40
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,542
Gretchen stays.

41
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:00,911
Good talk, bestie.

42
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,211
[calm music playing]

43
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,893
How come no one in this house
knows how to put the top back on the milk?

44
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,850
We do. We just think it's funny
when you spill it all the time.

45
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:20,771
[sighs]

46
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,429
So guess what they sell
at the fancy grocery store down the block?

47
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:27,188
Like, a bunch of different type
of peanut butters from different nuts,

48
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,732
except they don't taste as good,
and they cost twice as much?

49
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:34,066
Yes, but also ta-da!

50
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,990
It's a sourdough starter.
It's like the one Mom murdered.

51
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,202
Oh, more goo.

52
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,366
Yeah. Well, it's not really about the goo.

53
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,624
The goo's symbolic.

54
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:49,212
It's about you finding something else
to focus on other than my track stuff.

55
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,546
I know I've been a little intense, okay?

56
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:53,970
I'm sorry. It's just--

57
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,838
It's exciting having a kid
with so much potential, a star.

58
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,256
[scoffs]

59
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,434
I'm not a star.

60
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,722
Yeah, you are.

61
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,886
Anyway,
I just wanna make sure you're focused

62
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,312
and not letting things distract you.

63
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,564
Things.

64
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,482
Like the "thing" staying in Sam's room?

65
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,895
I'm just saying.

66
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,072
Oh, holy crap. Did Mom make another pie?

67
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,655
Yes, but this one has a higher purpose.
This is not for you.

68
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,661
A higher purpose?
What, is it gonna be the next pope?

69
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,504
-Just a tiny taste. Just a tiny taste.
-[Doug] No. I said no.

70
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,250
What's up with your fingernails?

71
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,252
Nothing.

72
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,825
Bye.

73
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,592
[Sam] I just don't understand it.

74
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,420
How can he be with Gretchen again?

75
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,295
She's controlling,
she hates higher education,

76
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,843
and she breaks the law.

77
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,007
She sounds perfect.

78
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,643
What? I like bad girls.

79
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,893
My last girlfriend
ran me over with the Vespa.

80
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:47,806
I miss her.

81
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,613
Well, if you're done complaining
about some girl we've never met,

82
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,569
I got an opportunity for you.

83
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,110
How are you doing on funds
for your Antarctica trip?

84
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,109
Only okay, but I still need a lot more.

85
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,657
That's what I thought.

86
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,577
Oh, look at that cute guy!

87
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,620
I got this lady, total kook,

88
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:09,293
wants to commission a portrait
of her cat dressed as a cowboy.

89
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,884
No, thank you. I already have enough
terrible things annoying me right now.

90
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,421
Job pays $500.

91
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,916
Here's her list of demands.

92
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,840
She wants it wearing chaps
and a ten-gallon hat?

93
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,678
I am not gonna like this.

94
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:24,973
I know.

95
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:26,928
[sighs]

96
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,435
Hey, so I was looking through your bag
to find a T-shirt to steal--

97
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,983
-Invasive.
-And you realize that all you packed

98
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,277
are a bunch of socks
and a sports bra, right?

99
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,109
Yeah, I know.

100
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,954
I packed up pretty quickly.

101
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,450
My mom kicked me out.

102
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,035
Oh.

103
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:47,950
I didn't--

104
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,294
What happened?

105
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,082
Oh, you know, just my mom being my mom.

106
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,126
I was gonna tell you,

107
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,461
but I didn't wanna
talk about it right away.

108
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,627
It's okay. I understand.

109
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,473
Hmm.

110
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,934
Do you wanna go to a party?

111
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:05,893
What?

112
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,563
Erika's having some people over,
and it might be fun.

113
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,104
I love fun. Um…

114
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,357
But what about the track meet?

115
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,228
I mean, shouldn't we be, like, resting up?

116
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,147
Probably.

117
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,146
Hmm.

118
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,157
But I told her I'd be there.

119
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,162
That's okay. I'll just go by myself.

120
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,254
No, I'll go with you.

121
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,294
-You will?
-Mm-hmm.

122
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,214
Yeah.

123
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,549
I mean, I love parties, and I love people,

124
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,548
so I'm kind of a party person.

125
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:40,630
Okay.

126
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,795
[both chuckle]

127
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:42,723
Thank you.

128
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,886
[Gretchen and Zahid laughing]

129
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:51,353
[banging]

130
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,941
[Paige] Today is a red-letter day.

131
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,992
-It is?
-Yes.

132
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,909
After all this time, I've finally
been added to the Gardner Gab text thread.

133
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,502
I mean, I've felt like
an honorary family member for years,

134
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,538
but this really seals the deal.

135
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,671
I just have to figure out
what my first contribution will be.

136
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:19,960
It's either gonna be a meme
of a pirate that says, "We argh family,"

137
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,466
or it's gonna be
yellow marshmallow chicks,

138
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,219
and it says, "Hi, my peeps."

139
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:26,795
What do you think?

140
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,425
I don't care.

141
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,312
Okay. Well, that was rude.

142
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:32,728
I'm sorry.

143
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,439
I'm just not interested,

144
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,939
and I'm distracted
by this dumb cat I have to draw.

145
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,521
I don't even know where to start.

146
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,444
Want my advice?

147
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,704
Just be yourself with it.
You're a brilliant artist, Sam.

148
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,069
I'm sure that whatever you do
is gonna be amazing.

149
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,027
Maybe if I could focus,

150
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,117
but that's impossible
with Zahid and Gretchen

151
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,332
having loud sex all day in his room,

152
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,423
and the bathroom, and the kitchen.

153
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,498
And I'm pretty sure I caught them doing
something gross in the parking garage,

154
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,594
but I ran away before I could confirm.

155
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,917
Well, I can certainly get that.

156
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,625
But, I mean, you do have to admit,

157
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:07,295
they have
some sort of animalistic chemistry.

158
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,141
By comparison,

159
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:12,770
our S-E-X life is a little quiet.

160
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,349
I mean,
I'm still on my first S-E-X candle.

161
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,885
I had to dust it off last week.

162
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,188
At least it's clean.

163
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:21,479
Well, I have been thinking,
and you're leaving soon,

164
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,316
and I think we should take advantage
of the time that we have left.

165
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,609
We should have more S-E-X.

166
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,914
Oh, okay.

167
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:30,991
Good.

168
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:33,075
Next time I come over, it is on.

169
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:37,963
And by "it," I do not mean our clothes
because those will definitely be off.

170
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:40,924
Hmm.

171
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,457
[knocking]

172
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,344
Hi, Mom.

173
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:48,802
Hello.

174
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,311
Come in.

175
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,056
This pie…

176
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,688
[sighs]

177
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:01,981
…is delicious.

178
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:05,823
-I'm so glad you like it.
-[chuckles] Oh yes.

179
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,696
You always loved cherries.

180
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,361
Do you remember that trip
we took to Michigan?

181
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,448
First day there, you went missing.

182
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:15,540
I found you picking cherries
in back, so many.

183
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,786
Your hands, face, bright red.

184
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,880
You looked like you must have committed
some sort of grisly crime.

185
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,130
[Lillian laughs]

186
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,632
I can't believe you remember that.

187
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,094
Of course I do. That was a big day.

188
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,143
-And then we baked!
-Yes, we did. We baked.

189
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,927
You know,
I think I have photos of that vacation.

190
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,811
Wait here, and I'll get them.

191
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:41,937
And when I come back,

192
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,862
I'm gonna need another slice
of that scrumptious pie.

193
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,238
What the heck is this?

194
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,411
That's my Wild West cat drawing.

195
00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,792
Where's the ten-gallon hat?
Where are the chaps?

196
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,788
She specifically asked for chaps.

197
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,460
There are definitely no chaps on this cat.

198
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,080
I know, but I don't love cats,

199
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,377
and I've never tried to draw anything
I didn't really love before.

200
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:09,592
My girlfriend said to just make it my own,
so that's what I did.

201
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,304
That was terrible advice.

202
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:12,756
Oh.

203
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,853
Did I make a mistake here?
Do I need a new artist?

204
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,310
Because for 500 bones,

205
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,430
my ten-year-old niece
could whip this out in two Scooby-Doos.

206
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,230
No, I know I can draw something ugly.

207
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:26,442
I just need to concentrate,
even though that's gonna be even harder

208
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,944
now that my girlfriend
wants to ramp up our sex life.

209
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,776
Well, there's your problem.

210
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,241
You can't channel the cat
because you're too worried about the puss.

211
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,203
What?

212
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,913
Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Mozart.

213
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,664
All the greats swore off sex
to maximize artistic output.

214
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,666
That's why I swore off sex too.

215
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,075
You swore off sex
because the girl you like

216
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,917
got a boyfriend on the wrestling team.

217
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,923
There were a lot of considerations.

218
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,183
[sighs] It's perfect.

219
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:58,847
[sighs]

220
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,312
Well, hello, mister.

221
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,234
Bad news, Paige.

222
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,654
Sid says we can't have sex
until I finish this Wild West cat.

223
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:10,614
What?

224
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,613
I've sworn off sex.

225
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,315
Sid says it's either sex or success,
and I'm choosing success.

226
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,737
If I wanna go to Antarctica, I have to.

227
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:20,445
Sid said that?

228
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,618
It's too bad. It looks like we were gonna
get it on like nobody's business.

229
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,005
Well, fine.
I-- I guess I'll just go home then.

230
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,136
Okay. Bye, Paige.

231
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:45,769
[Paige sighs]

232
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,650
What's up your butt?

233
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,146
Nothing. I'm fine.

234
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,944
God! You know, it's just that

235
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,948
Sam and I were supposed to have
a nice night with…

236
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:58,987
[whispers] …sex.

237
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,155
And now we're not.

238
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,872
Gotcha. Sexual dysfunction.

239
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,124
No. No, we don't have dysfunction.

240
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:10,418
I just wanted to liven things up
a teeny tiny bit.

241
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,673
Oh, Paige,

242
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:13,963
you're so dumb.

243
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,548
Excuse me?

244
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,303
Look, if you wanna knock more boots,

245
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,675
you just gotta figure out your guy's kink.

246
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,602
His what?

247
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,600
Excuse me, could you please
keep it down out here?

248
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,183
Sid needs this drawing ASAP,

249
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,437
and I can't remember
what a spittoon looks like.

250
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,810
This Sid guy's
really riding you hard, huh?

251
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:30,897
[Sam] What?

252
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,271
No, Sid's a girl.

253
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,488
Sid is obviously a girl's name.

254
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,818
Now, please, inside voices only.

255
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,948
-[door closes]
-Sid is a girl?

256
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,488
You didn't know?

257
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,004
[inhales deeply]

258
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:48,458
You were saying?

259
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,078
Okay, so… [sighs]

260
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,707
Guys are like animals,
and not even smart ones like dolphins.

261
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,205
So you just gotta figure out
what makes them tick.

262
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:58,677
Like, Zahid is super visual.

263
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,255
Watch and learn.

264
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,100
-[Paige gasps]
-[camera clicking]

265
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,320
[whispers] Three, two,

266
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,324
one.

267
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,486
-[door opens]
-[Zahid] Madam.

268
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,830
I require your attendance in the boudoir.

269
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,449
Hie, milady, hie.

270
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,793
-See? Later, tater. [laughs]
-[Zahid laughs]

271
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:29,923
-You okay?
-[Gretchen] Yeah.

272
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,463
[door closes]

273
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:37,054
We talked, we laughed, we ate pie,

274
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:40,048
but also she was kind.

275
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,304
She listened.

276
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,932
And it was actually

277
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:45,925
fun.

278
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:47,475
I don't know.

279
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,651
And for the first time in forever,
I-- I'm actually hopeful.

280
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:57,284
-I'm gonna see her again next week.
-Oh, that's so good.

281
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,489
Hey, you--
you think I should check on Casey?

282
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,361
Isn't it time for lights out?

283
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,238
Oh, she's not here.
I let her go out with Izzie tonight.

284
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,036
But her track meet's in a couple of days.

285
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,039
You really think
now is the time to slack off?

286
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,041
Yes, I do.

287
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,674
And I'm gonna pour you
another glass of wine

288
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,541
'cause you're being a buzzkill.

289
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,708
[sighing] Okay.

290
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,672
I don't wanna be a buzzkill.

291
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:24,093
[sighs deeply]

292
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,678
You got this.

293
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,391
[breathes deeply]

294
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,484
[camera clicks]

295
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,824
[sighs]

296
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,612
[squeals quietly]

297
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:44,784
[phone chimes]

298
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,501
What?

299
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,000
[phone chimes]

300
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,418
[phone chimes]

301
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,251
Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no! [gasps]

302
00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,917
-[phone chimes]
-Oh my God!

303
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,165
Oh no.

304
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,643
[laughing]

305
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,929
At least it's a cute butt though.

306
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,973
I appreciate
the days-of-the-week underwear.

307
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,687
You know, you lose track of time,
and you just glance at your tush.

308
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,398
-Right.
-[all laugh]

309
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:17,728
Oh, you two are, like, the perfect couple.

310
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,315
I am never gonna find this.

311
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,150
Oh no, we have issues too.

312
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,445
Yeah, she has really sharp toenails.

313
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,569
-They're actually more like talons.
-Mmm.

314
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,116
She just did a test for me last week.

315
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,329
-No. Are you serious?
-Yeah.

316
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,120
But I'm not mad about it anymore.

317
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,001
There is just this one tiny thing
that still bothers me.

318
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:35,922
What?

319
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,670
I just know if the school found out,
nothing would happen to Casey.

320
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:41,552
Like, if she just walked in there
and turned herself in.

321
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,680
But if they thought it was me,
I mean, I would be kicked out for sure.

322
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:48,138
Casey's just, like, untouchable.

323
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,011
-[laughs]
-That--

324
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,097
No way. That's crazy.

325
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,022
I'll bet you $100.

326
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:55,311
[laughs] Oh!

327
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:59,154
-That's not true.
-What, that I have $100?

328
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,981
[clicks tongue] You're right about that.

329
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:04,276
[Izzie and Erika laugh]

330
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:11,453
-Hey, Izzie. Breakfast?
-Oh no, it's okay. Just coffee, please.

331
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:15,786
How about just eggs, and bacon,

332
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,633
and fruit, and pie?

333
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,420
-I mean, okay. Thank you.
-[door opens]

334
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,712
[door closes]

335
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,836
[Doug] Check this out.

336
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,053
It's from UCLA.

337
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,382
What is this? Are you opening my mail?

338
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,848
I'm sorry. It said UCLA. I got excited.

339
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:34,179
It's an official letter of interest.
It means they're really interested in you.

340
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:37,346
They're even gonna send a recruiter
to watch you run at the next race.

341
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,016
Our little speedster!

342
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,114
-I'm so proud of you, Casey.
-Me too.

343
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:44,816
It's happening.

344
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,150
For both of us.

345
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,197
No, for you.

346
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,908
No time to let up now.
Pedal to the metal, right?

347
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:18,768
[sighs]

348
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:25,185
[breathing erratically]

349
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,043
I cheated.

350
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,503
I did Izzie's physics test.

351
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,841
And I'm prepared to accept my punishment,
whatever it may be.

352
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,970
I appreciate that.

353
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,262
Thanks for letting me know.

354
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,761
We're all good.

355
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,062
What?

356
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,230
You told the truth, got it off your chest.

357
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,189
Now fly, little birdie.

358
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:03,226
That's it?

359
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,478
I'm not in trouble?

360
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,228
Do you wanna be?

361
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,662
You wanna go to UCLA.
It's your dream school.

362
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,529
You made a mistake.
You came clean. We're all good.

363
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,954
Now go make Clayton Prep proud
at that track meet.

364
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:23,673
Okay.

365
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,406
[door opens]

366
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:06,125
Hey, Sammy, what's up?
You're not working today.

367
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,340
Gretchen ate my hash browns.

368
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,220
Ooh, yeah, sorry, homie.
She did leave an IOU though.

369
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,639
I'll pick some up
the next time I'm at the store.

370
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:18,638
Or you could break up with Gretchen,
which would address the larger problem.

371
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,522
[sighs] Really? This again?

372
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,889
Yes, this again. Always this.

373
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,306
Look, it is my decision.

374
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:26,935
And if you think it's a bad one,

375
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:30,032
well, there's nothing
I can really do about that.

376
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,649
I bet that's exactly what
Robert Falcon Scott said to his crew

377
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,617
when he brought ponies to Antarctica
instead of sled dogs.

378
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,238
That's right, ponies.

379
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,575
Walking through the snow in Antarctica.

380
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,541
No, man, you don't get it.

381
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:46,333
At first, Gretchen and I
were just bumping crotch.

382
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,336
But the more we kick it…

383
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,671
I was wrong about her.
She's actually awesome.

384
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:54,875
Gretchen is atrocious.

385
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:55,797
Well,

386
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,263
if that's gonna be your attitude,

387
00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,755
then maybe I don't want you
coming to my ultrasound,

388
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,178
or any appointments.

389
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,846
I'll ask Gretchen.
At least I know she cares about me

390
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,055
and my balls!

391
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,185
-Fine, I won't.
-Good!

392
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,236
[Paige sighs]

393
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,446
So,

394
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:22,950
we've all seen my butt.

395
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:25,536
Oh, Paige, honey, we don't need to--

396
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,252
No, I-- I-- I really think that we do,

397
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,922
because this is not how I wanted
to introduce my texting persona

398
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,042
to the Gardner Gab group.

399
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:34,298
I mean, you know, I'm usually
so on point with the memes.

400
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,301
I even made one for this conversation.

401
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,637
-[Doug] Hmm.
-Wow.

402
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,509
-Yeah, that's very clever.
-[Paige] Yeah.

403
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,638
But, as you know, Sam's leaving soon,

404
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:50,015
which makes me nervous
and has me craving a little more intimacy.

405
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:51,515
That's it. I'm done.

406
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,727
Good night, Paige.

407
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,355
Okay.

408
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,413
[sighs]

409
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,198
I wish I could make this better.

410
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,084
I usually don't do
stuff this dumb, you know,

411
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,661
but… [sighs]

412
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,326
Ugh, I'm all turned around lately,

413
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:11,384
and if I could just go back in time
and stop this from ever happening,

414
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:12,747
I would.

415
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,668
Yeah. Yeah.

416
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:20,469
Can we be done now?

417
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,393
Sure.

418
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,385
So Sam's going to Antarctica.

419
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,604
Oh my.

420
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,402
I'm having a hard time
wrapping my head around that one,

421
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,768
but looks like it's really happening,
so I probably need to.

422
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,777
It's just so scary.

423
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:39,069
It's terrifying to see your kids
go out into the world.

424
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,492
But how much scarier
would it be if they didn't?

425
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,532
My friend Jasmine,

426
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:47,198
her son is 40 years old,
and he still lives at home.

427
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,621
He keeps his samurai sword collection
in the basement.

428
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,247
[both laugh]

429
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:58,625
This has been so nice.
Do you mind if I come back again?

430
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,835
I would be offended if you didn't.

431
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,196
Oh,

432
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,659
and please say hello
to your mother for me.

433
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:25,738
What?

434
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,964
[grunting]

435
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,633
You didn't really
turn yourself in, did you?

436
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,419
[panting]

437
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:37,463
I tried.

438
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,676
You were right. I guess I owe you $100.

439
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,676
Why would you do that?
Because of what I said at the party?

440
00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:48,392
I was just being dumb.
I didn't want you to actually do it.

441
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:49,933
Yeah, I know. I just--

442
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,226
I felt like I had to.

443
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,864
Okay, well,
I'm glad you didn't get suspended.

444
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,148
[inhales]

445
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,231
[Izzie] We need you.

446
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,935
The team needs you. You're important.

447
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,317
[chuckles softly]

448
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,826
You know it's okay for people
to recognize you're special.

449
00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:07,778
Ugh.

450
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:11,752
It was less stressful
when no one noticed me at all.

451
00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:31,600
[phone chimes]

452
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:38,612
[phone chimes]

453
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,701
-[knocking]
-[door opens]

454
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,445
Hi, I'm Rich.

455
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,325
I'll be doing your ultrasound today.

456
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:51,240
[Zahid] Hello, Rich.

457
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:55,673
I hope you don't mind.
I don't feel like talking.

458
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:57,039
No problem at all.

459
00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,214
My girlfriend was supposed to come,
but she didn't.

460
00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:01,665
She's actually a terrible person.

461
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,875
And my best friend keeps telling me
the story about this old explorer dude

462
00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,836
who was trying to prove how manly he was
and got a bunch of people killed.

463
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:11,348
And I'm thinking maybe that was me,
because I'm worried.

464
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:15,772
I mean, how can a lover like the Z-man
only have one nut?

465
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:18,896
Can the big dog
still be a player with the ladies

466
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:21,400
even if he's down to just one dangler?

467
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:26,279
What if losing a testicle
makes me less of a dude?

468
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:30,243
Zahid, you said I don't care
about your balls, but I do.

469
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:34,116
And losing a testicle
doesn't make you any less of a man.

470
00:23:34,621 --> 00:23:36,961
In fact, I did some research,
and it turns out

471
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,590
when one testicle is removed,
the other one usually makes up for it

472
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:43,339
in terms of testosterone
and sperm production.

473
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,132
So that's twice the sperm.

474
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:47,301
You mean,

475
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,887
I'll have a bionic nut?

476
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:51,756
Not really.

477
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,137
But kinda. Nice.

478
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:55,926
Also, guess what?

479
00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:57,437
I broke up with Gretchen.

480
00:23:57,936 --> 00:23:59,596
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you.

481
00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,185
Again.

482
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,023
At least you did eventually.

483
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,228
Yeah.

484
00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:07,277
But Gretchen was supposed
to give me a ride after the big surgery.

485
00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:09,492
I guess I'll find somebody else.

486
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:13,123
I would ask Jay and Padma,
but they get real weepy real fast.

487
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:14,081
Maybe I'll Lyft it.

488
00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:15,866
I'll do it.

489
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:18,124
-I'll drive you home.
-But you don't drive.

490
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,456
-I'll learn.
-Really?

491
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:23,666
Thanks, homie.

492
00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:26,919
But now I have to get to work
on a cowboy cat.

493
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:29,717
Truer words have never been spoken.

494
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:48,566
Hello, Sam.

495
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,911
I was thinking, and… [inhales deeply]

496
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:58,082
The reason that I sent the butt pic
is because I got jealous,

497
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,832
and insecure, and controlling.

498
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,587
Basically, I became a Gretchen.

499
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:08,337
But I don't need her advice.
I know my guy.

500
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:10,549
You feeling frisky?

501
00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:15,008
No, actually,
I'm feeling frustrated and uninspired.

502
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:17,136
Hmm.

503
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:18,184
[tuts]

504
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:19,176
Well,

505
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:21,517
maybe this will help.

506
00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,319
[mimics penguin]

507
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:31,033
What are you doing?

508
00:25:31,112 --> 00:25:32,952
[mimics penguin]

509
00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:36,118
Holy moly. Is that--

510
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,161
The Adélie penguin mating dance?

511
00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:40,042
It sure is.

512
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:41,369
Do you like it?

513
00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:43,462
[laughs softly]

514
00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,628
You learned this for me?

515
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:49,173
Just for you.

516
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,140
♪ Yeah, you ♪

517
00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:06,606
[Doug] Let's go. Let's go.

518
00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,530
[breathes heavily]

519
00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:14,411
♪ Yeah, you ♪

520
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,496
-Hey.
-Hey.

521
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,535
You think that's her?

522
00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:29,712
Yeah, I guess.

523
00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:32,093
[announcer] Runners, to your marks.

524
00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:33,843
Come on. That's us.

525
00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:38,177
["A List" by HVOB playing]

526
00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:43,232
[breathes shakily]

527
00:26:57,073 --> 00:26:58,123
[inaudible]

528
00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:12,298
[breathes shakily]

529
00:27:14,090 --> 00:27:16,130
[inaudible]

530
00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:22,639
♪ I'd wish to have a robot heart ♪

531
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:26,272
♪ But your songs tear me apart… ♪

532
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:27,193
[announcer] Set!

533
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:29,772
-[gunshot]
-[crowd cheers]

534
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:33,736
♪ I've tried to hold you, but I can't ♪

535
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:35,993
Go!

536
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:37,659
Casey, run!

537
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:42,164
♪ I will put someday on the list ♪

538
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:47,003
♪ I will put someday on the list ♪

539
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,247
[breathing shakily]