1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:12,202 --> 00:00:15,497 In the beginning of a journey, no one knows what to expect. 3 00:00:17,123 --> 00:00:19,918 You have some drafty windows, and the bathroom door sticks, 4 00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:23,922 but otherwise, it's okay. I'm proud of you. 5 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:27,425 Your own place. I can't believe it. Look at you. 6 00:00:27,509 --> 00:00:29,719 You're so grown up. You could be 20. 7 00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:33,682 Sure, they might have a vague idea that the road ahead could be rough. 8 00:00:33,765 --> 00:00:35,558 How are the smoke alarms? Are they up-to-date? 9 00:00:36,142 --> 00:00:37,894 You can never be sure in these old buildings. 10 00:00:37,978 --> 00:00:39,771 Double-checking safety precautions 11 00:00:39,854 --> 00:00:41,940 was a whole section of my move-in checklist. 12 00:00:42,023 --> 00:00:45,944 We have new smoke alarms, first aid kits, and an ax. 13 00:00:46,027 --> 00:00:47,737 - An ax? - In case of a fire. 14 00:00:47,821 --> 00:00:49,656 It belonged to Zahid's uncle, 15 00:00:49,739 --> 00:00:52,283 who was the first ever Indian lumberjack in Vermont. 16 00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:54,619 They called him the Maple Syrup Swami. 17 00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:56,203 An ax? 18 00:00:56,663 --> 00:01:00,125 But no one sets off on an expedition thinking, 19 00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,836 "In four months, I'll have a crippling case of scurvy 20 00:01:02,919 --> 00:01:05,338 and be forced to eat a sled dog." 21 00:01:05,422 --> 00:01:08,167 And this is where you can sit when we talk 22 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:09,551 when I FaceTime you every night. 23 00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:11,094 Every night? 24 00:01:11,095 --> 00:01:12,887 I talked myself down from three times a day, 25 00:01:12,971 --> 00:01:14,681 so that is my best and final offer. 26 00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:17,183 You want us to stick around a little and help you set up? 27 00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:21,104 No, thank you. Edison's had a big day. We need quiet. 28 00:01:21,187 --> 00:01:25,942 Okay. Do you want to hold on to these boxes just in case? 29 00:01:26,026 --> 00:01:30,155 No. Why? You can throw them away. There's a dumpster out front. 30 00:01:30,238 --> 00:01:34,284 It's green, and someone named Dog Face painted their name on it. 31 00:01:35,035 --> 00:01:36,035 Okeydoke. 32 00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:38,621 You can go. 33 00:01:39,205 --> 00:01:41,332 You're not allowed to make fun of me for crying. 34 00:01:41,416 --> 00:01:42,417 Same to you. 35 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:45,170 That's what makes new beginnings so exciting. 36 00:01:45,253 --> 00:01:48,173 You don't know what will happen until it's over. 37 00:02:14,741 --> 00:02:16,242 - Here it comes. - Shh! 38 00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:17,535 I'm so excited! 39 00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:18,619 Quiet! 40 00:02:20,497 --> 00:02:21,831 - Loud! - Sorry. 41 00:02:21,915 --> 00:02:23,500 Beginnings can be painful... 42 00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:24,617 But, dude, 12:08 a.m. 43 00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:26,836 ... but that doesn't mean they're bad. 44 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:29,631 I did it. I've officially stayed in our new apartment 45 00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:31,257 later than I've ever stayed anywhere. 46 00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:34,719 Did I miss it? Did I miss 12:08? 47 00:02:34,803 --> 00:02:36,971 Nope, you're here just in the nick of time. 48 00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:40,016 - Oh good. - Looking pretty fly in that unitard, Paige. 49 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,727 Oh, thanks. It's what goes under my potato. 50 00:02:43,269 --> 00:02:45,897 - Sam, congratulations. - Thank you. 51 00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:48,483 I brought you something. It's a money tree. 52 00:02:48,566 --> 00:02:51,111 It brings good luck and prosperity. I was thinking you could put it 53 00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:53,363 in your room, in that spot right next to Edison's tank. 54 00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:56,783 It gets great sun. He'll be the richest turtle in town. 55 00:02:56,866 --> 00:02:58,701 - Okay. - And it's an easy plant too. 56 00:02:58,785 --> 00:03:01,037 Just three-quarts a cup of water every four days, 57 00:03:01,121 --> 00:03:03,039 maybe some seaweed-based plant food once a week, 58 00:03:03,123 --> 00:03:05,041 and just keep rotating him, of course. 59 00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,088 I'll help. I once had a plant survive 60 00:03:07,089 --> 00:03:09,045 for two months purely on Mountain Dew. 61 00:03:10,296 --> 00:03:11,297 You know what? Never mind. 62 00:03:11,381 --> 00:03:14,509 I think I'll just come by and take care of him myself. 63 00:03:14,592 --> 00:03:16,636 Good. I've got enough to do finishing 64 00:03:16,637 --> 00:03:18,763 all the items on my move-in checklist. 65 00:03:18,847 --> 00:03:20,181 I'll take a few off your hands. 66 00:03:20,265 --> 00:03:22,308 Least I can do for my roomie from another wombie. 67 00:03:23,143 --> 00:03:26,146 I'll, uh, make a copy of the key for emergencies 68 00:03:26,229 --> 00:03:27,981 and switch over the power. 69 00:03:28,064 --> 00:03:30,567 And give your mom a really big hug. 70 00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:32,694 - That's not on the list. - I added it. 71 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:37,198 You guys did good. This place has really nice vibes. 72 00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:40,034 One hundred years ago, it was a slaughterhouse. 73 00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:46,457 I can't believe he's really gone. 74 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:48,041 Oh. 75 00:03:48,877 --> 00:03:49,877 Don't worry. 76 00:03:50,712 --> 00:03:53,381 I mean, you've been up his butt so much his whole life, 77 00:03:53,464 --> 00:03:55,341 there's no way he'll be able to live without you. 78 00:03:55,425 --> 00:03:56,425 You think? 79 00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,095 - I'm kidding. - Oh my God. 80 00:03:59,179 --> 00:04:02,473 I'm heading out. Gotta get in early. I'm training the new guy. 81 00:04:02,557 --> 00:04:04,726 Evan? How's he doing? 82 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,540 Nope. I'm not getting in the middle. Just 83 00:04:06,541 --> 00:04:08,146 because I'm working with your boyfr... 84 00:04:08,229 --> 00:04:10,023 - Ex-boyfriend. - Whatever. 85 00:04:10,607 --> 00:04:13,526 - What does that mean? - Eh, you're kids. 86 00:04:13,610 --> 00:04:16,529 You're broken up. You're together. You're broken up. You're together. 87 00:04:16,613 --> 00:04:18,990 Aw. Aren't we kids cute? 88 00:04:19,073 --> 00:04:21,618 But, no, actually, we are definitely broken up. 89 00:04:21,701 --> 00:04:22,701 - So... - Okay. 90 00:04:31,629 --> 00:04:33,129 - Hi there. - I'm pooping. 91 00:04:33,713 --> 00:04:36,799 How's track? You still working hard for UCLA? 92 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,928 - What are you up to, lady? - Nothing. 93 00:04:40,553 --> 00:04:44,140 Actually, I do have one question. It's just... It's fine either way. 94 00:04:44,224 --> 00:04:46,893 I was just wondering if you're gonna tell Dad about you and Izzie. 95 00:04:47,644 --> 00:04:49,562 Oh, I see. Um... 96 00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:53,524 Yeah, you know, I have thought about it a lot. 97 00:04:53,608 --> 00:04:57,695 I've really mulled it over. And I think the answer is butt out. 98 00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:05,453 One last thing. 99 00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:09,332 Oh my God. Is this what it's like to be an only child? I hate it. 100 00:05:10,583 --> 00:05:13,211 I was looking at the Clayton website the other night, 101 00:05:13,294 --> 00:05:16,714 and I saw that they had a Gender and Sexuality Alliance. 102 00:05:16,798 --> 00:05:21,052 So if you know anyone grappling with identity issues 103 00:05:21,135 --> 00:05:25,598 like, I don't know, maybe like, "How do I come out to my dad?" 104 00:05:25,682 --> 00:05:27,016 You might wanna let them know. 105 00:05:29,686 --> 00:05:31,187 - Mom. - Yeah? 106 00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:36,567 I just don't know what he's gonna say. I mean... 107 00:05:37,193 --> 00:05:41,739 He's not gonna know what to say, and it's gonna be weird and awkward. 108 00:05:43,658 --> 00:05:44,658 It's true. 109 00:05:46,202 --> 00:05:48,705 I mean, he's just not as cool and laid-back as I am. 110 00:05:48,788 --> 00:05:49,788 Oh my God. Shoo. 111 00:06:12,437 --> 00:06:15,523 Edison's eyes are watery. I think he's having an allergic reaction. 112 00:06:15,606 --> 00:06:17,817 Okay, all right. We covered this in nursing school. 113 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:20,570 Uh, is his breathing labored? Does he have hives? 114 00:06:20,653 --> 00:06:23,448 We're gonna need to take off that shell and peep underneath. 115 00:06:23,531 --> 00:06:25,575 I think I'll just watch him for now. 116 00:06:26,159 --> 00:06:28,536 I bet it's Paige's dumb old money plant. 117 00:06:28,619 --> 00:06:32,415 Apparently, it causes good luck, prosperity, and dead turtles. 118 00:06:34,834 --> 00:06:37,920 - What happened? - What causes blackouts? Zombies? 119 00:06:38,004 --> 00:06:39,130 Teenage pranksters? 120 00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:40,923 Permanent global night? 121 00:06:41,549 --> 00:06:43,760 We should probably call the power department. 122 00:06:43,843 --> 00:06:46,637 I hate hold music, but I can wear my headphones. 123 00:06:47,221 --> 00:06:48,473 Actually, maybe you should do it 124 00:06:48,556 --> 00:06:50,308 since you're the one who put it in your name. 125 00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:53,186 Oh. 126 00:06:54,395 --> 00:06:55,772 I didn't do that. 127 00:06:56,356 --> 00:06:58,024 - Sorry, bud. - What? 128 00:06:58,608 --> 00:06:59,901 It slipped my mind. 129 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,694 But you checked it off the list. 130 00:07:01,778 --> 00:07:05,740 Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't do it, and that was dumb. 131 00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:10,328 - Then why did you check it off the list? - Well, I intended to do it. 132 00:07:10,411 --> 00:07:16,209 But, you know, I thought, "Power, lamps, lava lamps, lava, hot," 133 00:07:16,292 --> 00:07:19,003 and then I ended up ordering hot pants instead. 134 00:07:19,087 --> 00:07:21,422 See, my mind goes on these mental walks. 135 00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:22,965 Apparently, it's a sign of creativity. 136 00:07:23,049 --> 00:07:24,592 But... no worries. 137 00:07:24,675 --> 00:07:27,553 I will call the fine folks at the power department right now. 138 00:07:28,221 --> 00:07:29,222 My phone is dead. 139 00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:31,682 I would charge it, but... 140 00:07:34,727 --> 00:07:36,187 Hey, you wanna watch a movie? 141 00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:37,270 Oh. 142 00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:38,688 Wait. 143 00:07:38,731 --> 00:07:40,441 Wowie zowie. That is impressive. 144 00:07:41,109 --> 00:07:43,778 Golden buttery perfection. 145 00:07:46,114 --> 00:07:47,782 Now for the finishing touch. 146 00:08:02,088 --> 00:08:05,091 This will go straight in the mail tomorrow. Toodles. 147 00:08:05,675 --> 00:08:06,801 Oh my God. 148 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,303 Okay, Beth has been sending me 149 00:08:09,387 --> 00:08:11,597 pastry-murder videos since Evan and I broke up. 150 00:08:12,348 --> 00:08:15,893 - Um, they look delicious. - Oh yeah. No. She's an amazing baker. 151 00:08:16,477 --> 00:08:20,064 She would be so pissed if she found out that you and I were, 152 00:08:20,148 --> 00:08:22,900 you know, hanging out. 153 00:08:23,693 --> 00:08:24,694 Hanging out? 154 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:27,321 - What are you, 12? - Oh, shut up. 155 00:08:27,405 --> 00:08:28,781 What am I supposed to call it? 156 00:08:29,282 --> 00:08:30,282 Dating. 157 00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:32,452 A couple. 158 00:08:33,286 --> 00:08:34,286 A couple? 159 00:08:35,329 --> 00:08:36,831 Yeah. 160 00:08:37,457 --> 00:08:38,541 Right? 161 00:08:38,624 --> 00:08:39,624 Yeah. 162 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,172 Okay. 163 00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:49,510 - Hello. - Hi, honey. 164 00:08:49,594 --> 00:08:52,221 I'm FaceTiming you. Isn't this fun? 165 00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:54,765 Are you in the bathtub with all your clothes on? 166 00:08:55,349 --> 00:08:56,767 Yes, it's soothing. 167 00:08:56,851 --> 00:08:58,936 At home, when I needed a change of scenery, 168 00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,731 I could walk around my bed or sit in my closet. 169 00:09:01,814 --> 00:09:03,483 This is what I do here. 170 00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:06,652 Well, it looks like a nice, clean tub. 171 00:09:06,736 --> 00:09:09,447 Probably because I cleaned it myself when I was there. 172 00:09:10,239 --> 00:09:12,909 I have to warn you, I can't talk for long. 173 00:09:12,992 --> 00:09:16,037 I don't want to run out of batteries because we have no power. 174 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,747 Zahid never put it in his name. 175 00:09:18,331 --> 00:09:19,957 This is why you need a list. 176 00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:23,544 We have a list. He crossed it off but didn't actually do it. 177 00:09:23,545 --> 00:09:24,587 I don't understand. 178 00:09:24,588 --> 00:09:25,952 Why would someone check off something 179 00:09:25,953 --> 00:09:27,632 on a list if they hadn't done it? 180 00:09:27,715 --> 00:09:30,927 I have no idea. I've asked him that a lot of times. 181 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:35,056 Well, we've got power here. We got plenty of power. Come home. 182 00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,434 Maybe I should. 183 00:09:38,518 --> 00:09:41,395 Yes! I'll put the sheets on your bed. 184 00:09:41,479 --> 00:09:44,148 And if you hurry, you can make it in time for dinner. 185 00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:45,775 I'm making ziti. Look. 186 00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:47,275 Flip. 187 00:09:48,027 --> 00:09:49,027 Can you see? 188 00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:51,863 What's that? 189 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,116 Are those my moving boxes? 190 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,202 I thought you were throwing them out. 191 00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:59,622 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just... I haven't got around to it yet. 192 00:09:59,705 --> 00:10:02,250 But there's a dumpster right in front of my building. 193 00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,001 Well, yeah, this was easier. 194 00:10:04,669 --> 00:10:08,005 It was easier to haul 600 boxes across town 195 00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:10,675 and stack them willy-nilly in our house? Hi, Sam. 196 00:10:10,758 --> 00:10:13,427 - Hi, Casey. - What is this? Pile-up-on-Mom Day? 197 00:10:13,511 --> 00:10:16,472 I just... You know, I... I kept them. 198 00:10:16,556 --> 00:10:19,016 - I kept them just in case. - In case what? 199 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,560 Yeah, in case what? 200 00:10:21,727 --> 00:10:22,979 You didn't think I could do it. 201 00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:25,314 - Hmm. - Honey, no, that's not true. 202 00:10:25,398 --> 00:10:26,941 Sorta seems like it. 203 00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:29,026 Yeah, sorta seems like it, indeed. 204 00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:31,737 Are you in a tub? Is he in a tub? 205 00:10:31,821 --> 00:10:34,448 Yes, he's in a tub with no power. 206 00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:35,532 Goodbye. 207 00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:38,661 For shame, lady. 208 00:10:39,161 --> 00:10:40,161 For shame. 209 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:47,420 Wow. I can't believe we're here, learning the trade. 210 00:10:49,046 --> 00:10:50,046 It's exciting. 211 00:10:50,506 --> 00:10:52,967 Oh, man, I hope we get some action. 212 00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:56,095 You know, we spend a lot of time with each other on this job. 213 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:58,097 Sometimes it's good to just... 214 00:10:59,432 --> 00:11:00,641 be quiet. 215 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:02,559 Okay. 216 00:11:07,273 --> 00:11:08,274 Hey, how's Casey doing? 217 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,234 Right. 218 00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,361 Quiet. 219 00:11:13,863 --> 00:11:14,863 Sorry. 220 00:11:21,162 --> 00:11:22,162 She's good. 221 00:11:22,788 --> 00:11:24,248 Oh yeah? Great... 222 00:11:24,749 --> 00:11:25,749 Me too. 223 00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:29,545 Y... you don't have to tell her that. 224 00:11:30,671 --> 00:11:32,048 Okay. 225 00:11:32,548 --> 00:11:34,216 Uh, I'm gonna stop talking. 226 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:39,639 Look, I don't know anything, 227 00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:42,892 but I know you guys care about each other. 228 00:11:43,851 --> 00:11:45,311 So whatever is happening, 229 00:11:46,062 --> 00:11:50,232 maybe it's time to have a talk and clear the air. 230 00:11:54,820 --> 00:11:56,238 Hey, what's this button do? 231 00:11:56,322 --> 00:11:58,366 When you press it, it pisses me off. 232 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:00,409 Oh. 233 00:12:00,493 --> 00:12:02,411 Pretty sure all the buttons do that. 234 00:12:57,883 --> 00:13:01,470 You just have to have a thick skin. You can't get all upset. 235 00:13:01,554 --> 00:13:04,140 Well, I can't help it. I am upset. 236 00:13:05,099 --> 00:13:08,811 Just to confirm, the guy dressed like bacon is gone for the day, right? 237 00:13:08,894 --> 00:13:09,979 - He is. - Good. 238 00:13:11,605 --> 00:13:15,776 I'm upset because I hate living with Zahid, but I can't move back home 239 00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:18,988 because my mom thinks I'm gonna fail, and I have to prove her wrong. 240 00:13:19,071 --> 00:13:21,031 Wait. What's wrong with living with Zahid? 241 00:13:21,115 --> 00:13:23,826 Other than the fact that he's loud, messy, completely irresponsible, 242 00:13:23,909 --> 00:13:25,202 and basically nocturnal. 243 00:13:25,286 --> 00:13:27,705 All of that and more. 244 00:13:28,247 --> 00:13:30,040 He gives everything little voices. 245 00:13:30,124 --> 00:13:33,669 Oh, hello, Mr. Bowl. You need to be washed. 246 00:13:33,753 --> 00:13:36,672 Please clean me. It's been days. 247 00:13:36,756 --> 00:13:38,400 Well, here comes Dr. Sponge. 248 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:42,928 Diagnosis: filthy as heck. 249 00:13:45,681 --> 00:13:48,184 He never wants to do what I want to do. 250 00:13:48,768 --> 00:13:51,645 - Six a.m. Time for breakfast. - No, thanks. 251 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,942 And I never want to do what he wants to do. 252 00:13:57,026 --> 00:13:58,527 4:20. Time to blaze. 253 00:13:59,028 --> 00:14:00,070 No, thank you. 254 00:14:02,072 --> 00:14:04,158 He buys everything in bulk. 255 00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:07,787 Why do we have four bears of honey? I don't even like honey. 256 00:14:09,705 --> 00:14:14,168 And he often writes very angry letters on a very loud typewriter. 257 00:14:14,251 --> 00:14:17,838 "Dear Jolene's Fabrics." 258 00:14:17,922 --> 00:14:21,926 "Your glue guns are for shit." 259 00:14:22,009 --> 00:14:25,846 "I bedazzled my underpants, 260 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:29,558 but the jewels came off in the wash." 261 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,439 Well, maybe Zahid wasn't the correct choice of roommate. 262 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:39,902 Maybe the correct choice has been right in front of you all along. 263 00:14:39,985 --> 00:14:41,987 Plus he eats apples really loud, 264 00:14:42,071 --> 00:14:44,657 and he keeps moving the kitchen trash under the sink 265 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:47,993 when obviously the best place for it is the corner of the kitchen. 266 00:14:48,077 --> 00:14:49,710 Okay, I see what the problem is here, 267 00:14:49,711 --> 00:14:51,705 and I've got the scratch for that itch. 268 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,459 Look, it wasn't easy when I moved back home with my parents, Sam. 269 00:14:55,543 --> 00:14:57,670 My dad is not a fan of post-work pants. 270 00:14:57,753 --> 00:14:59,630 But things got a whole lot better 271 00:14:59,713 --> 00:15:01,924 when I just decided to establish some ground rules. 272 00:15:02,508 --> 00:15:04,093 - Rules? - Rules. 273 00:15:04,635 --> 00:15:06,846 - I thought you might like that. - I do. 274 00:15:07,429 --> 00:15:09,890 - How's my plant doing? - I don't know. 275 00:15:09,974 --> 00:15:12,685 It was making Edison's eyes water, so I left it out on the curb. 276 00:15:13,269 --> 00:15:14,603 Thanks for the advice, Paige. 277 00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:26,073 Hey, bud. 278 00:15:26,156 --> 00:15:29,076 I felt bad about the whole power thing, so I made you some brownies, 279 00:15:29,159 --> 00:15:31,370 which I can do, by the way, because we now have power. 280 00:15:33,289 --> 00:15:36,375 - Do these have pot in them? - Just a skosh for flavor. 281 00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:40,880 Zahid, I'm finding our living arrangement difficult, 282 00:15:40,963 --> 00:15:43,132 so I was hoping we could set some ground rules. 283 00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:46,594 Paige has them with her parents, and she speaks very highly of them. 284 00:15:47,177 --> 00:15:48,596 The rules, not her parents. 285 00:15:48,679 --> 00:15:50,890 She doesn't seem to like them very much at all right now. 286 00:15:50,973 --> 00:15:52,182 That's a good idea. 287 00:15:52,266 --> 00:15:55,269 Living with the Z-man is like being with a bear in its cave. 288 00:15:55,352 --> 00:15:57,438 Tame me, Sammy. 289 00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,024 Okay. Rule number one. 290 00:16:00,107 --> 00:16:02,902 Only check off the boxes when the task is completed. 291 00:16:02,985 --> 00:16:04,028 Check. 292 00:16:04,111 --> 00:16:05,112 For real. 293 00:16:06,697 --> 00:16:08,073 Rule number two. 294 00:16:08,157 --> 00:16:09,491 Stop buying in bulk. 295 00:16:09,575 --> 00:16:13,787 Word. I got that Costco card, and I got drunk with power. 296 00:16:14,997 --> 00:16:18,542 Rule number three. No loud, angry typewriter-ing when I'm home. 297 00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:21,670 I will rage alone. It is for the best. Is that all? 298 00:16:22,713 --> 00:16:25,716 Great. Well, if anything else pops up, you let me know. 299 00:16:28,177 --> 00:16:29,219 New rule. 300 00:16:29,303 --> 00:16:31,639 No eating apples past eight p.m. 301 00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:35,768 What are you doing here, buddy? 302 00:16:36,352 --> 00:16:39,563 I don't know, but I miss the cupboard. 303 00:16:39,647 --> 00:16:42,107 I fit so well under there, and I'm out of the way, 304 00:16:42,191 --> 00:16:45,235 and you can't smell my stinky insides. 305 00:16:45,319 --> 00:16:46,319 New rule. 306 00:16:46,362 --> 00:16:50,449 No making voices for inanimate objects, and stop moving the trash can. 307 00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:56,497 New rule. No apples at any time. 308 00:16:58,499 --> 00:17:00,709 I can't believe I let you convince me to do this. 309 00:17:00,793 --> 00:17:02,044 Oh, it'll be fun. 310 00:17:02,127 --> 00:17:04,338 Or it'll terrible, which is fun in its own way. 311 00:17:04,421 --> 00:17:07,633 Hey, you're new. Welcome. I'm Erika. She/her. 312 00:17:08,217 --> 00:17:09,551 Casey Gardner. 313 00:17:09,635 --> 00:17:11,011 Those are her pronouns. 314 00:17:11,095 --> 00:17:13,097 Oh, sorry, I'm dumb. 315 00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:15,057 No worries. Glad you're here. 316 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,559 Come on. Grab a seat and make yourself comfortable. 317 00:17:18,394 --> 00:17:19,436 She's nice. 318 00:17:19,979 --> 00:17:21,605 You mean her nice. 319 00:17:22,564 --> 00:17:25,025 Pronouns thing, okay. 320 00:17:28,570 --> 00:17:33,075 I had a crush on a girl in first grade, and I was so excited. 321 00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:35,077 I told my best friend. Um, 322 00:17:35,744 --> 00:17:38,455 but then she said I wasn't allowed to. 323 00:17:39,331 --> 00:17:42,668 I've had boyfriends, and, well, I didn't realize. 324 00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:45,004 And then I got my first girlfriend, 325 00:17:45,087 --> 00:17:48,090 and everything felt so much more... 326 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,800 me. 327 00:17:51,552 --> 00:17:53,512 I don't know if that makes sense. 328 00:17:54,013 --> 00:17:55,431 It does. 329 00:17:58,517 --> 00:17:59,517 Sorry. 330 00:18:00,227 --> 00:18:03,230 I didn't think I was gonna talk in here. 331 00:18:03,313 --> 00:18:04,940 I didn't even want to come. 332 00:18:06,025 --> 00:18:07,735 Now I'm making it worse. 333 00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:13,907 There she is. 334 00:18:13,991 --> 00:18:15,617 How was the meeting? 335 00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:16,701 Great. 336 00:18:16,744 --> 00:18:18,280 I just realized how different I am 337 00:18:18,281 --> 00:18:19,830 from people I'm supposed to relate to, 338 00:18:19,913 --> 00:18:21,498 but thanks for suggesting it. 339 00:18:22,124 --> 00:18:23,709 Honey, what happened? 340 00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,044 Nothing. 341 00:18:25,127 --> 00:18:27,629 My day was good. 342 00:18:27,713 --> 00:18:29,381 Uh, your guy's doing okay. 343 00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:30,465 My guy? 344 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:34,595 Hey, has anyone heard from Sam? He's not returning my texts. 345 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,264 I can't call him your boyfriend. What should I call him? 346 00:18:37,347 --> 00:18:38,891 Evan. Call him Evan. 347 00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:42,186 I mean, I think he's still mad at me, and I don't want to push, but... 348 00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:43,896 I thought you'd wanna know he's doing good. 349 00:18:43,979 --> 00:18:47,775 I mean, I didn't mean anything by the boxes. I like to keep boxes. 350 00:18:47,858 --> 00:18:49,985 I love sturdy boxes. You guys know that. 351 00:18:50,069 --> 00:18:52,007 What are you, like Daddy Matchmaker now? 352 00:18:52,008 --> 00:18:53,947 Are you the reason he's been texting me? 353 00:18:54,031 --> 00:18:56,658 No, I just said the same thing I said to you. That's it. 354 00:18:56,742 --> 00:18:59,119 So you've been talking about me. Why are you talking about me? 355 00:18:59,203 --> 00:19:01,080 So I should just call him, right? 356 00:19:01,163 --> 00:19:03,999 - I don't wanna be in the middle of this. - Sounds like you already are. 357 00:19:07,753 --> 00:19:10,380 - We're having a good parenting week. - We are. 358 00:19:54,591 --> 00:19:56,343 I'm sorry it's come to this, old friend. 359 00:19:57,678 --> 00:19:58,726 Don't cut me. 360 00:19:58,727 --> 00:20:01,306 You need seven pounds of cotton balls. 361 00:20:01,390 --> 00:20:04,351 Ah! Ah! Ah. 362 00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:34,298 Zahid, what are you doing? What is this? 363 00:20:35,549 --> 00:20:37,551 This is a coup. 364 00:20:38,135 --> 00:20:40,679 You may notice I bought in bulk. 365 00:20:40,762 --> 00:20:42,431 But the rules. 366 00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:45,559 That's just it. There's too many rules. This is impossible. 367 00:20:45,642 --> 00:20:49,479 No, you are impossible. My rules are good. 368 00:20:49,563 --> 00:20:52,232 My rules make you less terrible to live with. 369 00:20:52,316 --> 00:20:54,985 Are you kidding? You're terrible to live with. 370 00:20:55,068 --> 00:20:57,237 You wake me up at the crack of dawn. 371 00:20:57,321 --> 00:21:00,699 You don't clean your dishes, which is why I make them talk, 372 00:21:00,782 --> 00:21:02,659 because it's easier when they tell you. 373 00:21:02,743 --> 00:21:06,413 And no offense, but your turtle smells like rotten butt. 374 00:21:07,372 --> 00:21:11,210 - I thought you liked Edison. - I do. I love that cold-blooded killer. 375 00:21:11,293 --> 00:21:14,963 I started smoking with him every day at 4:20 after you refused. 376 00:21:15,047 --> 00:21:17,424 I sit by his tank and puff. 377 00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:20,552 The scritchety-scritchety of his little nails on that warm rock 378 00:21:20,636 --> 00:21:22,304 is actually very soothing! 379 00:21:23,138 --> 00:21:27,768 Wait, you smoke by Edison? That's why his eyes are watering. 380 00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:30,687 What? No, weed wouldn't do that. 381 00:21:30,771 --> 00:21:32,439 Your eyes are watering right now. 382 00:21:32,522 --> 00:21:34,233 Well, you... 383 00:21:34,733 --> 00:21:38,820 - You threw trash on the ground! - 'Cause that's where the can should go. 384 00:21:38,904 --> 00:21:41,448 - It goes under the sink! - It doesn't make sense there. 385 00:21:42,199 --> 00:21:45,202 This is too much. Just the rules, the trash... 386 00:21:45,285 --> 00:21:47,162 - I... - I'm gonna go sit in the tub. 387 00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:49,998 Well, fine! I'll leave too! 388 00:22:13,105 --> 00:22:15,107 Hey, this place isn't bad. 389 00:22:15,190 --> 00:22:17,901 - Where's my baby? - Technically right here. 390 00:22:17,985 --> 00:22:19,444 - Sam? - In here. 391 00:22:26,243 --> 00:22:29,037 Sam. Honey, are you okay in there? Do you have enough air? 392 00:22:29,621 --> 00:22:32,249 Of course. There's a window. It's not a submarine. 393 00:22:32,749 --> 00:22:35,043 But I am feeling very stressed out. 394 00:22:35,627 --> 00:22:37,629 - Cute place. - Thank you. 395 00:22:38,213 --> 00:22:41,842 - I'm gonna go look through your drawers. - Honey, I called a locksmith. 396 00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:43,844 - They should be here any minute. - Okay. 397 00:22:46,305 --> 00:22:47,556 Well, you were right. 398 00:22:48,765 --> 00:22:50,142 I can't live on my own. 399 00:22:51,852 --> 00:22:55,397 It was a terrible idea, and now here I am locked in a tub. 400 00:23:04,281 --> 00:23:07,409 You know, when I was 16, my mom went into rehab. 401 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,119 Grandma? 402 00:23:10,579 --> 00:23:11,579 She did? 403 00:23:12,331 --> 00:23:17,044 Well, no one called it rehab. We didn't call it that. 404 00:23:18,295 --> 00:23:21,381 Everyone called it "taking a break." 405 00:23:22,841 --> 00:23:24,801 From what, I didn't know. 406 00:23:24,885 --> 00:23:26,136 Me, I assumed. 407 00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:29,848 And I went to live with my aunt Maddie. 408 00:23:30,432 --> 00:23:33,060 And she was so sweet. 409 00:23:34,311 --> 00:23:37,481 She was so well-intentioned, honey. She really was. 410 00:23:39,566 --> 00:23:40,566 But... 411 00:23:42,611 --> 00:23:45,530 I wasn't ready to live without my mom... 412 00:23:48,325 --> 00:23:49,826 and I was so sad. 413 00:23:51,620 --> 00:23:52,954 I developed this... 414 00:23:54,456 --> 00:23:55,456 shell. 415 00:24:00,796 --> 00:24:01,922 Honestly, 416 00:24:02,672 --> 00:24:05,425 I kept the boxes for me. 417 00:24:07,552 --> 00:24:09,846 I'm not great with people leaving. 418 00:24:12,891 --> 00:24:14,601 But you are ready. 419 00:24:16,186 --> 00:24:17,521 You're ready. 420 00:24:18,522 --> 00:24:22,692 And I'm sorry I made you feel like you weren't. 421 00:24:24,361 --> 00:24:25,904 Mom, step aside. 422 00:24:25,987 --> 00:24:27,030 What... Casey, no! 423 00:24:27,572 --> 00:24:29,408 Casey! No! 424 00:24:29,491 --> 00:24:31,952 Stop! I said stop! 425 00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:34,621 - Ah! Ah! - Stop! Casey! 426 00:24:39,376 --> 00:24:42,212 Oh, great. Well, the locksmith's here. 427 00:24:43,463 --> 00:24:45,090 That was very satisfying. 428 00:24:45,757 --> 00:24:47,300 Stop being scary, Casey. 429 00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:52,889 - Everything okay? - Yeah, he's good. 430 00:24:52,973 --> 00:24:54,933 I chopped his door down with an ax. 431 00:24:55,016 --> 00:24:56,768 I'm gonna let you two talk. 432 00:24:58,145 --> 00:25:00,856 Somebody sent us a box of crushed croissants. 433 00:25:00,939 --> 00:25:02,149 Oh yeah. 434 00:25:02,816 --> 00:25:05,652 They're actually... they're pretty good though. 435 00:25:07,362 --> 00:25:08,362 Not bad. 436 00:25:13,285 --> 00:25:14,494 I'm dating Izzie. 437 00:25:17,247 --> 00:25:18,915 What, y... y... your friend Izzie? 438 00:25:19,499 --> 00:25:20,625 Mm-hmm. 439 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:24,921 Oh. 440 00:25:25,714 --> 00:25:26,714 Oh? 441 00:25:27,257 --> 00:25:28,717 Is that a good or a bad "oh"? 442 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,553 - I don't know what kind of damn "oh" it is. - Okay. 443 00:25:38,435 --> 00:25:39,435 Does Mom know? 444 00:25:40,604 --> 00:25:42,731 Yeah, I think she knew before I did. 445 00:25:43,857 --> 00:25:45,108 Sam? 446 00:25:46,026 --> 00:25:47,026 Yes. 447 00:25:50,864 --> 00:25:52,574 So I'm last? 448 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,203 I just didn't know how to... You know, it's... 449 00:25:56,286 --> 00:25:57,287 It's okay. 450 00:26:00,081 --> 00:26:02,626 - I think I was just afraid that you'd... - Afraid that I'd what? 451 00:26:02,709 --> 00:26:03,710 I don't know. 452 00:26:04,211 --> 00:26:05,462 See me differently? 453 00:26:06,421 --> 00:26:07,421 I don't know. 454 00:26:09,341 --> 00:26:10,341 I don't. 455 00:26:11,218 --> 00:26:12,218 What? 456 00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:14,429 See you differently. 457 00:26:16,473 --> 00:26:18,183 You're still a pain in the ass. 458 00:26:24,064 --> 00:26:25,064 Evan know? 459 00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:28,150 Yeah. 460 00:26:28,818 --> 00:26:31,463 What about the mailman? You tell him too? 461 00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:32,464 Months ago. 462 00:26:43,041 --> 00:26:44,167 What happened to our door? 463 00:26:44,251 --> 00:26:47,504 Casey chopped it down with the Maple Syrup Swami's ax. 464 00:26:47,587 --> 00:26:51,007 I probably should've anticipated that. I got you something. 465 00:26:54,870 --> 00:26:55,887 A trash can? 466 00:26:55,888 --> 00:26:58,598 A second trash can. We can have one in each spot. 467 00:26:59,266 --> 00:27:00,392 Smart. 468 00:27:00,475 --> 00:27:03,353 Two trash cans is literally twice as good as one. 469 00:27:04,062 --> 00:27:07,607 I'm sorry about all the bulk goods... 470 00:27:09,901 --> 00:27:11,528 ... and for all the anger. 471 00:27:12,070 --> 00:27:14,573 I know living with me can be tricky. 472 00:27:15,365 --> 00:27:16,365 It's okay. 473 00:27:17,742 --> 00:27:20,704 I think I kept waking you up 474 00:27:20,787 --> 00:27:26,668 because living on my own was more "on my own" than I expected. 475 00:27:27,877 --> 00:27:30,755 Well, at least you told me when I was being annoying. 476 00:27:31,339 --> 00:27:35,010 I do those stupid voices because I can't handle conflict. 477 00:27:35,093 --> 00:27:37,596 I make the objects around me handle it instead. 478 00:27:37,679 --> 00:27:39,055 I did not like that. 479 00:27:40,890 --> 00:27:43,351 You know, rules aren't a bad idea. 480 00:27:43,935 --> 00:27:46,855 But instead of a million, can we do, like, three each? 481 00:27:47,522 --> 00:27:49,482 - That sounds good. - Great. 482 00:27:49,566 --> 00:27:50,567 I'll go first. 483 00:27:53,111 --> 00:27:55,989 If my eyelids are closed, please let me doze. 484 00:27:56,072 --> 00:27:58,450 - Do they all have to rhyme? - No rules on the rules. 485 00:27:59,451 --> 00:28:00,451 Okay. 486 00:28:00,994 --> 00:28:03,830 - Keep apple crunching to a minimum. - Got it. 487 00:28:03,913 --> 00:28:08,001 The dishes will talk if you don't wash them within one day. 488 00:28:08,084 --> 00:28:09,084 Okay. 489 00:28:09,711 --> 00:28:12,922 Costco purchases must be pre-approved by both of us. 490 00:28:13,006 --> 00:28:14,007 Reasonable. 491 00:28:14,507 --> 00:28:17,135 All right, last ones. Same time? 492 00:28:17,719 --> 00:28:20,221 - Won't that be confusing? - Let's find out. 493 00:28:20,722 --> 00:28:23,058 One, two... 494 00:28:23,683 --> 00:28:25,685 No smoking weed around Edison. 495 00:28:25,769 --> 00:28:28,563 - Hey, samesies! - That was your rule too? 496 00:28:28,647 --> 00:28:30,649 Of course! I don't want that little guy suffering. 497 00:28:30,732 --> 00:28:32,359 Maybe we try again when he's 18. 498 00:28:35,195 --> 00:28:36,863 I think this is gonna work. 499 00:28:36,946 --> 00:28:39,491 Me too, roomie. Weed brownie? 500 00:28:39,574 --> 00:28:40,617 No. 501 00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:42,535 - Dance party? - No. 502 00:28:42,619 --> 00:28:45,705 Sit quietly and enjoy each other's company in silence? 503 00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:47,290 Sure. 504 00:28:53,922 --> 00:28:54,922 Feels good. 505 00:28:55,298 --> 00:28:56,298 Yeah. 506 00:29:00,053 --> 00:29:05,053 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com -