1 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:09,050 [scratching sounds] 2 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,312 Oh. Hi, honey. 3 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:25,150 I heard the scritch scratch and thought we had a little mouse. 4 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,735 Quiet, I'm working. 5 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,279 A rude little mouse. What you working on? 6 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,656 My Socratic seminar for ethics class. 7 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,784 Sounds fancy. What's a Socratic seminar? 8 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,329 We read an article and come up with talking points, 9 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,053 which is what I'm trying to do right now, 10 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,750 and then we discuss. 11 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,543 Participation is mandatory. 12 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,503 So, it's a conversation? 13 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,048 No, it's a Socratic seminar. 14 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,008 Sounds like a conversation. 15 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,594 - Okay, but it's a Socratic seminar. - Okay. 16 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:56,931 Well, whatever you call it, I'm thinking steel cut oats, brain food. 17 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,017 You call it a Socratic seminar. 18 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:01,518 Got it. 19 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,313 Socratic seminar. 20 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,690 Casey, you up? 21 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,818 - Shit. We fell asleep. - [snores] 22 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,905 Uh, one second, Dad, I got a boob out! 23 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,491 Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap! 24 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,620 Oh, hey, Casey, can you tell your dad that I can do the ride-along today? 25 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,663 If you're still alive. Go. 26 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,311 - Hey. - Hey, I'm leaving in ten minutes 27 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,353 if you want a ride to practice. 28 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,671 Yeah, okay, cool, cool. [clears throat] 29 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,799 - What's going on? - Nothing. 30 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,550 [clears throat, deeper voice] Nothing. 31 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,678 Hey, Dad, Evan told me he could do the ride along today... 32 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,264 Yesterday, well, he told me yesterday. 33 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,682 All right, well, it's at 3:00. 34 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,727 And if he likes it, I could set him up with a good training program, 35 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,011 'cause you gotta be ready for those certification tests, 36 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,540 - Mm-hmm, - especially the written one. 37 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,733 - It's a killer. - Okay, I will tell him... text him. 38 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,360 - I'll let him know. Sorry. - Okay. 39 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,529 Oh, God. 40 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,447 I didn't know there was a test. 41 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,991 If my dad can do it, you'll be fine. 42 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,578 Now the real test: can you jump out of a very high window? 43 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,790 How long have you been doing this? 44 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,375 Since 3:49 a.m. 45 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,210 You have to eat, honey. 46 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,547 I just need to do well on this. 47 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,550 There are eight of these, and they make up a big part of our grade. 48 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,052 And in high school, there were tests and papers, 49 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,679 and I know how to do those, 50 00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:20,390 but I've never done this, so I need to be prepared. 51 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,851 Well, based on this scroll, I'd say you are. 52 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:23,934 It's not a scroll. 53 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,062 Good morning, family. 54 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,149 - Hey, hey! - Hey! 55 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:33,111 Hear ye, hear ye, I formally pronounce you all lame! 56 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,713 Casey, give your brother his scroll back. 57 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:35,864 It's not a scroll. 58 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:39,826 - Case, do you want some steel cut oats? - Steel cut oats! 59 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,245 - This is prison food, Mother. - What? 60 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,956 This is going right in the trash where it belongs. 61 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,667 We are not gonna be allowed to have this at our house. Watch. 62 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,419 Watch me, I'll do it! I'll do it! 63 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,838 - Casey. Are you possessed? - [Doug] What are you doing? 64 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,423 [Casey] Right in the trash. 65 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,466 - Grow up. Put the oatmeal back. - Knock it off. 66 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,027 - Straight in the trash! - [Doug] Put the oatmeal back. 67 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,679 - [Casey] I'm gonna do it. - [Elsa] Okay, honey, that's enough. 68 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:03,558 [Casey sighs] I changed my mind. It smells delicious. 69 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:07,103 - I'd love a bowl with extra cinnamon. - A real comedian today. 70 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,188 Thank you. 71 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,869 You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. 72 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,789 Miss Hardaway, we're ready for you. 73 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,334 [sighs] 74 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,378 Go get 'em, Paige. 75 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,759 Did I throw that burrito? 76 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,219 Yes, I did. 77 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:44,933 And was it extra hot because I used the popcorn setting on accident? Yes. 78 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:46,684 Yes, it was. 79 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:50,605 But before you shatter my dreams of being a Bowdoin polar bear, 80 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,523 I ask you to consider... 81 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,150 what I went through. 82 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,611 What the dorm rat went through. 83 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,822 Now, being away from home is hard enough, 84 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,868 but the other stuff, the name calling, the ostracizing... 85 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,664 the small chunks of cheese left on my doorstep... 86 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,209 Now, I may not have first-degree queso burns on my cheek, 87 00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,419 but I do have scars that you can't see, 88 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,920 on my soul. 89 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,759 Okay, Miss Hardaway, 90 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,763 we'll review your case with the dean and reach out when we've made a decision. 91 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,474 Oh. 92 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,272 I made you all little Rice Krispie treats in the shape of Bowdoin polar bears. 93 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,391 They're the gluten-free, so... 94 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,700 Thank you for your time. 95 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:49,330 ♪ Forward the white on through the fight ♪ 96 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,292 ♪ Emblem of honor peerless and bright... ♪ 97 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,714 Welcome to your first Socratic seminar. 98 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,049 The rules are simple. 99 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,720 If you don't talk by the time that clocks says 10:25, 100 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,387 you fail. 101 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,850 Your topic is artificial intelligence. 102 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,858 You should be talking by now. 103 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,820 Well, I think to know what the impact of artificial intelligence is 104 00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,280 in our society, 105 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,073 we need to define what society needs. 106 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,284 AI won't kill us before climate change. 107 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,995 [student] I heard surgeons can implant screens in people's bodies. 108 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,289 I talk to Siri more than I talk to my mom. 109 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,999 Nobody's going to be able to live 110 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,209 if there's no planet to live on. 111 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,045 For all you know, I'm a robot. 112 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,507 Excuse me, I think I'm in the wrong class. Is this Intro German? 113 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,093 - [professor] You should be talking. - [overlapping chatter] 114 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,054 [student] The world is so dead anyway. 115 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,305 Time. 116 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,114 Oh! I'm sorry. 117 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,159 Elsa. What a surprise. 118 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,119 Hi. I was just shopping. 119 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,498 Me too. I just had my hair done. Jeffrey's. [laughs] 120 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:14,957 Every six weeks. 121 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,584 Well, you look good. 122 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,753 You as well. 123 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,046 How are the kids? 124 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:26,469 Good. Sam just started college. Casey got her driver's license. 125 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,262 Oh, my. 126 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,390 They grow up so fast. 127 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,974 Yeah, they sure do. 128 00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:37,605 Well then, have a nice day. 129 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,900 - Bye, Mom. - Bye. 130 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,760 [phone beeps] 131 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,014 - An F? - Hi, Sam. 132 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,058 I worked so hard. Look. 133 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,061 I had much better points than most of those other kids. 134 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,647 And you also had a much longer piece of paper. 135 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,942 I thought it would be easier than flipping through pages. 136 00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,861 - Was it? - Not at all. 137 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,658 Well, you have some really good points here, your royal majesty. 138 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,869 I know. So I pass? 139 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,705 No. You know the rules. You talk or you fail. 140 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,331 You can try again next week. 141 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,294 But I've never gotten an F on anything before. 142 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:45,047 Except at my mom's summer school and her F stood for "funtastic." 143 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,883 Well, she sounds like a delight. 144 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,019 Hang on a second, Sam. 145 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,981 She said I could write a paper instead, 146 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,567 so I did that, and I handed it in. 147 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,819 Now I'm just waiting to see about my grade. 148 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,488 I'm sure I'll get an A. 149 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,281 Then why so blue, my boo? 150 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,618 Because I still failed the assignment. 151 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:16,621 And there's seven more, and I'll probably fail those 152 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,580 so I'm doomed. 153 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,248 I'm sorry, Sam. 154 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,042 I wish I was there. 155 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,128 I could really use some us time, too. 156 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,380 Yeah, it's hard being apart. 157 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:30,718 Usually I don't mind that much because you're really distracting. 158 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,970 But right now it'd be nice. 159 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,599 Aww. That is so sweet. 160 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,476 And so mean. 161 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,771 But I've got just the thing for you, Sam Gardner. 162 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,148 Stand up and go to your dresser. 163 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,362 And look in the top drawer. 164 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,282 And take out the blue whale shirt and put it on. 165 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,576 How did you know it would be clean? 166 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,787 Well, no one's getting anywhere betting against Elsa. 167 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,583 Do you feel better? 168 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:03,960 Yes. 169 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,921 Good. That was step one. Step two is... 170 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,798 we're having a dinner party. 171 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,633 That doesn't make me feel better. 172 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,970 Well, that one's for me. But it'll be so fun. 173 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,347 We'll invite all of our friends, and we'll just... 174 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:18,432 be able to forget about all our pesky problems. 175 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,519 But you're in Maine. 176 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,813 What's a little distance in the face of true love? 177 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,357 I think it's still distance. 178 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:27,983 Wrong. 179 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,278 I'm in a can-do state of mind, Sam. 180 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,780 - You should really join me. - What? 181 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,323 We're having a dinner party. 182 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,536 - Should I invite Zahid? - [cell phone chimes] 183 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,705 He and Gretchen have already confirmed. 184 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,124 [squeals] This is so exciting. 185 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,882 There you are. What the heck happened with your boyfriend today? 186 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:52,800 What? 187 00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:56,887 Wait, I've been doing hills and intervals. 188 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,139 Intervals on hills. 189 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,642 - Do I still have legs? - Evan didn't show up for the ride-along. 190 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,437 - What? - Yeah, maybe something came up, 191 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,772 but I expected a call or something. 192 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:09,692 - That's weird. - Yeah, and we were ready for him. 193 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,360 Chuck even wore his good pants. 194 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,947 Man, I'm sorry, Dad. Something must have happened. I'll check in with him. 195 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,366 - All right, do that. - Yeah. 196 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,161 You're working hard. I'm proud of you. 197 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,786 Thanks. 198 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,040 Damn. 199 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,927 Did you get Paige's e-vite? 200 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,220 Hello, brother. 201 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,430 Yes or no? 202 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,806 Yes and no. 203 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,225 Yes, I received it. No, I will not be attending. 204 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,394 - Why not? - Don't wanna. 205 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,190 Me neither, but Paige would really like you to go 206 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,984 because for some reason, she considers you a friend, 207 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,487 and she thinks it'll cheer me up to have you there. 208 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,656 Why do you need cheering up? 209 00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:02,662 Because I failed my Socratic seminar, which means I'll probably fail college. 210 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,916 How is Paige hosting a dinner party if she's in Maine? 211 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,250 She'll be on the tablet. 212 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:09,918 Okay. 213 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,589 And that's just stupid enough to intrigue me. I'm in. 214 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,049 Okay, good. 215 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,469 Now, for dress code, Paige was very specific. 216 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:19,679 No tweed. 217 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,639 Casey, no tweed! 218 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,480 Oh, hey. I'll be out of your hair in a sec. 219 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,399 It's best if I water them at night. 220 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,983 What, they sleep better? 221 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,654 I don't think anyone is sleeping great in this house 222 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,739 ever since we found out we have a ghost. 223 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,034 Hey, the kids are having a dinner party tomorrow, 224 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,579 and we are under strict orders to evacuate. 225 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,664 Oh, well... 226 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,709 - I have to work late anyway, so... - Okay. 227 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,876 Good night. 228 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,836 Night. 229 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:55,756 Uh... I ran into my mom today. 230 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,801 Hmm. How'd that go? 231 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,680 Well, she derailed my run to Yankee Candle, 232 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,432 but other than that... 233 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,267 we were polite. 234 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,017 Oh, well... 235 00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:09,853 I'm sorry. 236 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:11,772 Yeah. 237 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,066 I really wanted a lavender candle. 238 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,912 [sighs] Oh, my gosh, it looks amazing. I can't believe I did all this. 239 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,708 You didn't. I did. You just bossed me around the whole time. 240 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,919 Usually the b-word would trigger me, but I'm gonna stay on task. 241 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,003 Mm-hmm. 242 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,758 What are... are you looking at another screen right now? 243 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:42,595 Yes, and my professor still hasn't posted a grade on my paper. 244 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,431 Okay, well, that's the point of tonight, 245 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,683 is just to leave all that stuff behind us. 246 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:51,061 We can forget about all the stressful things in our lives. 247 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,898 I mean, I'm totally fine, but I'm just here for you.2 248 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,818 Hey, dorks. Look what I found at the thrift store. 249 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,112 And I brought pie to make up for it. 250 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,156 Sam, I said no tweed. 251 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,867 Oh, my bad. I thought you said only tweed. 252 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,786 We'll make it work. 253 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,455 Now, what time will Evan be arriving? 254 00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:12,041 He's working, so Izzie's filling in. 255 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,752 - I'm her date. - Oh. Okay. 256 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:18,672 Tweed suits, new guests... I mean, what's in the pie? Dog poop? 257 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,257 - [both laugh] - [doorbell rings] 258 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,259 [gasps] That's the delivery guy! 259 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,178 Ladies, please take the pies to the kitchen. 260 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,181 Sam, take me to the door so I can check the bags. 261 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:27,764 [Casey] Uh-huh. 262 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,645 The look on Paige's face was well worth the $11, 263 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,815 but I gotta say, this suit itches like a bitch. 264 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,460 And there's a spot on my back that I can't quite reach. 265 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,735 I can reach it. 266 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,952 So, weird that Evan didn't say anything about my dad, right? 267 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,579 Yeah, he was probably just embarrassed. 268 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,040 But he should have at least called. 269 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,291 Right? 270 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,753 Whatever. Boys are dumb. We don't need them. 271 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,880 Hmm. Yeah, screw boys. 272 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,258 Thanks for being my date to this insane dinner. 273 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,718 - Yeah. - What's insane about it? 274 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:06,428 Nothing. 275 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,972 All cool, robo-host. 276 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,891 - Is this cheering you up? - No. 277 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,060 - I'm happy. - [knocking, door opens] 278 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,770 Hello. 279 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,274 - Hey. - Everyone, this... 280 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,568 is Gretchen. 281 00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:23,070 We met at a dumpster. 282 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,907 She's my soul mate and my sole mate. 283 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,868 Same shoe size. These are hers. 284 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,494 Nice to meet everyone. 285 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,079 Gretch, this is Casey. 286 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,373 If it helps you remember, I'm the one in tweed. 287 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,876 - I don't know this one. - I'm Izzie. 288 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,210 She came with the suit. 289 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,170 Oh. The robot is Paige. 290 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,589 Hi. 291 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,758 [audio breaking up] ...so... meet... you. 292 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,822 I think your girlfriend is buffering. 293 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,763 Our Wi-Fi doesn't reach the front door. 294 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,057 We don't typically stream guests in this area. 295 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:55,144 And the man himself, Samuel Gardner. 296 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,479 I have been hearing all about Zahid's best friend, 297 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,939 the smartest person he knows, 298 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,900 so I figured I'd scope out the competition. 299 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,528 Well, I failed my Socratic seminar so I can't be that smart. 300 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:08,741 - That's what I thought. - Za-boom! She got ya! [laughs] 301 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,659 The Wi-Fi's better here. 302 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,828 [sighs] Okay, well, that's enough chitchat. 303 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,370 Let's eat. 304 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,919 So, since we have a new guest, 305 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,588 we should start with an icebreaker. It's called Betty Boop... 306 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,714 Nope. 307 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,758 So, Gretchen, where are you from? 308 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:29,219 Near the Walmart. But my mom's from Melbourne, so I'm half Australian. 309 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,263 - Hmm. - Zahid hates Australians. 310 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,433 I don't hate this little koala, 311 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,019 especially when she plays my didgeridoo. 312 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,063 Yuck. 313 00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,898 Ha. Didgeri-eww. 314 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,859 Oh-ho-ho! Lovely burn. 315 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,445 Gretchen thinks I use the word "dope" too much, 316 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,656 so now when I'm about to say dope, 317 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,157 I say "lovely" instead. 318 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,659 I just know you can do better. 319 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:55,204 That's it! My ethics professor has officially taken longer 320 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,164 grading my paper than it took me to write it. 321 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,291 Who cares? College is stupid. 322 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,126 It's just a big old waste of time and money. 323 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,504 What? That's not true. 324 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,839 No one successful ever graduated college. 325 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,926 Plus, you can learn everything on YouTube these days. 326 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,887 She has me questioning everything. 327 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,305 Hey! 328 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,224 Oh, God! 329 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,102 Sorry, I was missing out. 330 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,813 [sighs] Can someone pass the guacamole? 331 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,401 [laughs] Joke. It was a joke. 332 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,610 See? I have my own. 333 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:32,741 Ugh! Now my lovely threads are all soaked. Sam, can I borrow a shirt? 334 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,202 Sure, but I don't have anything in silk. 335 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:39,289 That's okay. Gretchen taught me that silk comes from a worm's butthole. 336 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,001 - So I'm off the stuff. - YouTube. 337 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,880 So, is it time for an icebreaker? [gasps] We could do this or that. 338 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,883 First one, toilet paper: over or under... 339 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,945 - Is she always like this? - [Paige continues chattering] 340 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,513 Yeah. Why do you think I wanted you to come? 341 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:58,726 - I really wanna know what you guys think. - Ooh, melty Brie! 342 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,854 Brie and Mexican food, I love it. Where'd that come from? 343 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,772 I have a cheese guy. 344 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,650 [sighs] I just... I really like cheese. 345 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:07,568 [Sam] Here it is. 346 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:13,323 Statistics show that college graduates are 177 times more likely 347 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,035 than high school grads to earn $4 million or more. 348 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,496 Is that what life is all about, earning money? 349 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,580 Kinda. 350 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,042 College just creates drones, 351 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,127 cogs in the system, robots. 352 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,046 [imitates robot] Must make money. 353 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,922 [imitates robot] Must eat cheese. 354 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,132 I got it. 355 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,093 I want it. 356 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,514 College also helps with social skills 357 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,100 as well as building the idea of a community. 358 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,062 Plus, college graduates are twice as likely to volunteer. 359 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,565 JCPenney never put a college educated model in their catalog. 360 00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,691 Not even once. 361 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,652 Oh, well, I find that very hard to believe. 362 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,114 Sweet Gretchen, is there a reason you're antagonizing my brother? 363 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:55,823 We're just talking. 364 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,620 Casey, I have to pee. Do you? 365 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,663 I am not taking you to the bathroom with me. 366 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,833 Come on. Okay, this is what girls do. 367 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,170 All right, fine. Don't eat my cheese. 368 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,303 Oh, I don't like her. 369 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,222 Oh, garbage girl? 370 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,432 The worst. Grade A twat. 371 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,142 But Sam handles her well. 372 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,937 We have to do something. We can't let her ruin this. 373 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,607 I mean, should we... should we harm her? 374 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:30,984 Yeah, I'll hold her, you punch. 375 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,530 - So what do we do? - I don't know. 376 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,657 Wait it out, make fun of her after. 377 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:40,160 But she's turning this dinner party into a garbage party. 378 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,329 We can't let that happen. 379 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:45,040 Why do you care? You're not even actually here? 380 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,377 I just really, really need a win right now, okay? 381 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,339 - What's up with you? - Nothing. Sorry, I just... 382 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,383 I just don't like this girl. 383 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,719 The computer, the seat belt 384 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:02,599 and fluoride toothpaste were all invented by college educated people. 385 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:06,728 Sure, but what about all the inventions by non-college educated people? 386 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,939 Fire, the wheel, loincloth. 387 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:13,193 My mom didn't go to college, and she invented the tampon gravity bong. 388 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,487 That was your mom? 389 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,364 - Yeah. - Hey, guys. 390 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,824 Ooh, melty Brie! 391 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:22,744 They call it learning, I call it brainwashing. 392 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,037 Fine, Gretchen. 393 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:26,582 You may think college is a waste of time... 394 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,665 And money. 395 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,126 And money. 396 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,253 But for me, 397 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:34,047 it's something that I never thought I'd be able to do. 398 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,843 And now that I'm there, I don't feel like it's a waste of time. 399 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,637 I feel like I just don't wanna mess it all up. 400 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,308 Hey, Evan, this is Gretchen. 401 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,061 Hey. What's up, Izzie? 402 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,734 [Evan] This Brie is really good. 403 00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:54,817 Evan. 404 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,863 Casey. Casey! 405 00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,198 Is everything okay? 406 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:02,409 [huffs] I mean, at least had the decency to show up. 407 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,911 What's that supposed to mean? 408 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,787 Evan, hey. 409 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,332 What's this look about? 410 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,335 Oh, I was just saying that I'm glad he bothered to come 411 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,979 - instead of just standing us up. - Izzie. 412 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,880 - What? - You stood up her dad. 413 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,010 Wait, you told her that? 414 00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,262 Well, yeah, she's my friend, and I was upset. 415 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,307 And you never told me what happened with my dad. 416 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,850 [Paige shouts] 417 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:31,772 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 418 00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,106 What happened? 419 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,692 [sighs] I saw Zahid's penis. 420 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,069 - What? - What? 421 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,487 Not on purpose. 422 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:41,949 I was looking for a new shirt, and I had the urge to drain the main vein, 423 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,116 so I went to the bathroom. 424 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,911 And Casey left me in there, 425 00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,097 and I thought that she would remember to come back for me, 426 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:52,292 so I just kept working on my Rainbow Loom and then I heard a... 427 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,253 tinkling. 428 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:58,257 If I had known she was in there, I would not have unleashed the dragon, okay? 429 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:02,302 But I was midstream. You can't pinch off the dragon midstream. 430 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,239 - [cell phone chimes] - [scoffs] This is unbelievable. 431 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,764 I'm sorry, Paige. 432 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,601 It sucks 'cause now every ding-dong you see will have the unfortunate fate 433 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,019 of being compared to mine. 434 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,648 A sad junks-taposition, if you will. 435 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:15,816 - [Zahid laughs] - [sighs] 436 00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,068 Paige, I'm sorry. I heard Evan coming so I just... 437 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,629 Oh, come on, so this is my fault now? 438 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,571 [scoffs] Yeah, good party. 439 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,573 - Chill out, dude. - You chill out. 440 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,077 I would be upset if I were him, too. I thought you two were a couple. 441 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:27,995 - What? - What? 442 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,705 - [Evan] Come on. - Maybe I should go. 443 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,872 Yeah, you probably should. 444 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,332 No, I should go. 445 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,001 - No, we'll go. - Stop! 446 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,794 All of you! 447 00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,505 Okay, we are here to have fun! 448 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,258 And yes, some of us are arguing, 449 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,759 and some of us got wet, 450 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,553 and some of us saw penises! 451 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,015 Okay? But we are committed to this dinner party, 452 00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,475 so we're all gonna stay, we're gonna sit down 453 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,228 - and have a delicious... - [cell phone rings] 454 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:57,232 Oh, shoot. I've gotta go. 455 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:58,900 Hi, guys. 456 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,653 Oh, keep having fun, I'm not here. 457 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:07,743 Where's Sam? 458 00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,230 [sniffs] 459 00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,942 Thank you so much 460 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,029 and please extend my thanks to the entire committee for hearing me out. 461 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,240 I appreciate the second chance, and I won't let you down. 462 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,576 And no popcorn setting next time. 463 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,913 No, God, no, that was a joke. 464 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:55,289 Okay. 465 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,166 Bye. 466 00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:00,212 [sighs] 467 00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,803 [inhales] What smells good? 468 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,554 Honey, everything okay? 469 00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:12,974 Oh, lavender. 470 00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:15,102 No. 471 00:23:16,311 --> 00:23:18,855 I got a C on my paper, a C. 472 00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:20,774 C is not terrible. 473 00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:23,485 Hey, there you are. Everyone's looking for you. 474 00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:27,739 Should you be having a candle burning by your bed with your track record? 475 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,159 Are you okay? 476 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,494 None of your business. 477 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,371 Ooh, lavender? 478 00:23:35,038 --> 00:23:36,456 Hey, dude, you okay? 479 00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:39,292 No. I got a C on my ethics paper. 480 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,752 It's his business, but not mine? 481 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,295 I'm sorry, man. 482 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:46,133 At least you tried. Some people don't even do that. 483 00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:50,429 There's a cuddle party happening, and no one invited me? 484 00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:54,641 Hey, Mrs. G. Good vibes in here. 485 00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:56,101 - Is that lavender? - Hey. 486 00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:59,396 Sorry I can't stay too long. Gretchen's waiting for me in the car. 487 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:01,523 You okay, bud? 488 00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:02,524 Yeah. 489 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,985 Good. Sorry that Paige saw my dong. 490 00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:06,068 What's that now? 491 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,447 But hey, at least you and Gretchen hit it off. 492 00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:12,367 You even had one of your little Socratic conversation thingies. 493 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:14,578 Seminars, and no, we didn't. 494 00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:15,662 Sure you did. 495 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:19,458 You talked about college, doing research, conversed with one another. 496 00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:21,041 He's kind of right. 497 00:24:21,668 --> 00:24:23,712 - I was pretty good at it, too. - [Zahid] Mm-hmm. 498 00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:26,798 You know, I bet Gretchen was Miyagi'ing you the whole time, 499 00:24:26,882 --> 00:24:28,967 secretly leading you down the right path. 500 00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:31,386 God, she's an amazing woman. 501 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,180 What's Miyagi'ing? 502 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:35,849 Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid. 503 00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:36,766 Oh, right. 504 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:37,850 Duh. 505 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,352 Evan was a karate kid. 506 00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,188 Oh, my God, you have to see the video. 507 00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:43,231 No, hey, that was an us thing. 508 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,484 ♪ Coming down Coming down from yesterday ♪ 509 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,281 ♪ Swimming in the smoke Is a debt that I gotta pay ♪ 510 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:52,823 So what happened? 511 00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,618 - I don't wanna talk about it. - Come on. 512 00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:56,786 - We have to talk about it? - Yeah. 513 00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:58,580 Why didn't you show up? 514 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,751 When your dad mentioned the EMT stuff, it just... 515 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,878 it seemed like something that I could do. 516 00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:06,505 So what changed? 517 00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:08,590 Well, then he said there was gonna be tests. 518 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,885 - So? - I suck at tests. I hate tests. 519 00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:13,512 Look, it... 520 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:18,016 It's not like a big thing, and I don't really need to get into it, but... 521 00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:21,353 I'm dyslexic. 522 00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:24,021 What? 523 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,390 How have you not told me that? 524 00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:29,277 I tell you everything. I showed you that weird thing I found in my ear. 525 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,738 - Oh, yeah, that was gross. - Yeah. 526 00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:33,907 It's just I get anxious. 527 00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:37,369 So what if I take all these classes and then I don't pass any of these tests? 528 00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:40,872 Then it's just a big waste of time and money, and I've just, you know, 529 00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:42,123 let everyone down. 530 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:47,212 Well, I really think you can do it. 531 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:48,964 - Yeah? - Yeah. 532 00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,886 - Even Yonchi thinks you can do it. - Well... 533 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,513 [both laugh] 534 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,141 Hey, don't tell Izzie. 535 00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:02,017 I won't. 536 00:26:03,019 --> 00:26:04,019 Thanks. 537 00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,360 [high-pitched voice] I might tell her. 538 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:13,196 And then I'll kill your whole family. 539 00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:14,613 [mocking laugh] 540 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,159 [normal voice] Oh, my God. 541 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,327 [professor] Hmm. 542 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:23,081 GMOs use less pesticides, which provides cleaner water conditions, 543 00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:26,293 but they're also stealing our souls, so I'm torn. 544 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:29,004 Tbh, GMO tomatoes taste like ketchup, 545 00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,338 and I love ketchup. 546 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:33,133 I eat it on everything, everything. 547 00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,677 I disagree! 548 00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,097 Not about ketchup, but... 549 00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:43,393 the rise of GMOs has led to concentrations of toxic metals 550 00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:47,188 that have serious consequences on wildlife, so it's not worth it. 551 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:53,445 Time. 552 00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:54,528 [exhales] 553 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:59,576 I got a C on the seminar. 554 00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:00,702 Is that good? 555 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:01,870 It's great. 556 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:05,040 Last week I got an F. A C is a big improvement. 557 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,708 Well, that's good for you, Sam. 558 00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:08,293 Honey. 559 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:10,794 Hi, Sam. 560 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,216 I dropped out of Bowdoin. 561 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,968 Congrats on your C. 562 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,265 Thank you. 563 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:26,770 ♪...Over a million signs to blink And let it go ♪ 564 00:27:29,230 --> 00:27:32,150 ♪ Lately, she's stopped traveling ♪ 565 00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:37,447 ♪ Her heartbeat moved too fast to know ♪ 566 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,325 ♪ Choked up with miles to go ♪ 567 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:48,333 ♪ Over a million signs to blink And let it go ♪ 568 00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:51,211 [vocalizing]