1
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,687
<i>That logo music</i>
<i>just gets you pumped.</i>

2
00:00:36,721 --> 00:00:38,322
<i>Right?</i>

3
00:00:38,356 --> 00:00:41,425
<i>I'm sorry. I just,</i>
<i>I'm excited to be here.</i>
<i>It's been a while.</i>

4
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:42,593
<i>You know, for a long time,</i>

5
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,428
<i>I wasn't sure</i>
<i>I'd ever be back.</i>

6
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:45,596
<i>Disney bought Fox,</i>

7
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,298
<i>there was a whole</i>
<i>boring rights issue,</i>

8
00:00:47,331 --> 00:00:48,466
<i>blabbity-blabbity-blah.</i>

9
00:00:48,499 --> 00:00:51,402
<i>But then, it turned out,</i>
<i>they wanted me.</i>

10
00:00:51,435 --> 00:00:54,072
<i>The one guy who shouldn't</i>
<i>even have his own movie,</i>

11
00:00:54,106 --> 00:00:55,606
<i>much less a franchise.</i>

12
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,877
<i>Marvel's so stupid.</i>

13
00:00:58,911 --> 00:01:00,813
<i>Look, we know the title</i>
<i>of this thing.</i>

14
00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:02,613
<i>So, I know</i>
<i>what you're wondering.</i>

15
00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:03,782
<i>How are we gonna do this</i>

16
00:01:03,816 --> 00:01:07,186
<i>without dishonoring</i>
<i>Logan's memory?</i>

17
00:01:07,219 --> 00:01:08,586
<i>And I'll tell you how.</i>

18
00:01:09,353 --> 00:01:10,588
<i>We're not.</i>

19
00:01:12,356 --> 00:01:14,458
<i>I'm gonna let you in</i>
<i>on a little secret.</i>

20
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,795
<i>Wolverine is not dead.</i>

21
00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:20,065
<i>Sure, it made for a perfect</i>
<i>ending to a very sad story.</i>

22
00:01:20,098 --> 00:01:21,166
<i>But that's not how</i>

23
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,401
<i>regenerative healing</i>
<i>factors work.</i>

24
00:01:23,434 --> 00:01:24,669
<i>You think</i>
<i>I wanna be out here</i>

25
00:01:24,702 --> 00:01:26,805
<i>in beautiful downtown</i>
<i>North Dakota,</i>

26
00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:30,042
<i>digging up the one and only</i>
<i>Wolverine? No, thank you.</i>

27
00:01:30,075 --> 00:01:32,643
<i>But the fate of</i>
<i>my entire world is at stake.</i>

28
00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:34,146
<i>He may not</i>
<i>be living his best life,</i>

29
00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,480
<i>but he sure as hell ain't</i>

30
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,116
<i>dead.</i>

31
00:01:43,055 --> 00:01:44,056
Bingo.

32
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:45,891
Yahtzee.

33
00:01:49,127 --> 00:01:52,030
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

34
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,701
Damn it!

35
00:01:57,568 --> 00:02:00,471
Son of a bitch!

36
00:02:02,107 --> 00:02:03,608
You...

37
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,847
Christ. Motherfucker!

38
00:02:08,881 --> 00:02:10,514
My world is fuck...

39
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:13,451
That was weird.

40
00:02:13,484 --> 00:02:14,719
I'm much calmer now.

41
00:02:16,255 --> 00:02:19,157
Look, I'm not a man
of science.

42
00:02:19,191 --> 00:02:22,194
But you seem
incredibly passed away.

43
00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:27,065
But it's good to see ya.

44
00:02:27,099 --> 00:02:30,335
I gotta be honest,
I've always wanted
to ride with you, Log.

45
00:02:30,369 --> 00:02:31,669
You and me getting into it.

46
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:35,439
Deadpool and Wolverine
just fuckin' shit up.

47
00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:38,442
Can you imagine the fun,
the chaos...

48
00:02:38,944 --> 00:02:39,945
the residuals?

49
00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:42,147
"G'day, mate.

50
00:02:42,180 --> 00:02:44,116
"There's nothing that'll
bring me back to life faster

51
00:02:44,149 --> 00:02:46,952
"than a big bag
of Marvel cash."

52
00:02:46,985 --> 00:02:49,553
Me too, Hugh.

53
00:02:50,155 --> 00:02:53,091
But, no. No, no, no.

54
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:56,995
You had to get
all noble and die for real.

55
00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:58,797
Goddamn it!

56
00:03:00,365 --> 00:03:02,633
I could really use
your help right now.

57
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,645
Wait!

58
00:03:15,579 --> 00:03:17,382
I'm warning you,
I'm not alone.

59
00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:19,617
Wade Winston Wilson,

60
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:22,120
you are under arrest by
the Time Variance Authority...

61
00:03:22,154 --> 00:03:23,188
Oof.

62
00:03:23,221 --> 00:03:24,522
...for too many crimes
to list.

63
00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:25,757
Come out...

64
00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:27,059
...and we'll extend you
the courtesy

65
00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:29,328
-of taking you in one piece.
-Death by day-player.

66
00:03:29,361 --> 00:03:30,594
Last chance.

67
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:31,863
Throw out your weapons

68
00:03:31,897 --> 00:03:33,865
and come out peacefully.

69
00:03:33,899 --> 00:03:35,767
I'm not gonna
give you my weapons,

70
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,937
but I promise not to use them.

71
00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:41,773
There are two hundred and six
bones in the human body.

72
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:43,942
Two hundred and seven
if I'm watching <i>Gossip Girl.</i>

73
00:03:45,277 --> 00:03:47,079
Here we go. Maximum effort.

74
00:03:54,353 --> 00:03:55,519
Okay, peanut.

75
00:03:55,553 --> 00:03:57,155
Guess we're getting
that team-up after all.

76
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:09,094
Maradona from outside the box!

77
00:05:09,461 --> 00:05:12,364
Goal!

78
00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:00,979
Come on, big fella.

79
00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:42,120
I am soaking wet right now.

80
00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:47,225
<i>To be clear, I'm not proud</i>
<i>of any of this.</i>

81
00:06:47,259 --> 00:06:50,362
<i>The wanton violence,</i>
<i>the whiff of necrophilia.</i>

82
00:06:50,395 --> 00:06:51,496
<i>It isn't who I am.</i>

83
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:53,098
<i>It isn't who I wanna be.</i>

84
00:06:53,131 --> 00:06:54,166
<i>Who I wanna be?</i>

85
00:06:54,199 --> 00:06:56,234
<i>Well, to help you</i>
<i>understand that,</i>

86
00:06:56,268 --> 00:06:57,302
<i>I've gotta take you back.</i>

87
00:06:57,335 --> 00:07:00,005
<i>A little joyride I took</i>
<i>through space and time,</i>

88
00:07:00,038 --> 00:07:02,974
<i>to the day</i>
<i>that changed everything.</i>

89
00:07:14,753 --> 00:07:16,588
I can't believe
I'm finally here.

90
00:07:16,621 --> 00:07:19,324
I've waited for this moment
for so long.

91
00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:22,894
Thank you, sir, for seeing me.

92
00:07:23,662 --> 00:07:25,696
I... I firmly believe

93
00:07:25,729 --> 00:07:27,065
that my services could be of

94
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,067
great use
to your organization.

95
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,268
Now, I know

96
00:07:30,302 --> 00:07:32,571
I was caught smashturbating
in the lobby of Stark Tower,

97
00:07:32,604 --> 00:07:33,872
-but I can assure you that--
-Smashturbating?

98
00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:35,207
I'm sorry, what...
what was that?

99
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,709
No, I'm sorry. That...
That's when you get those toy,

100
00:07:38,742 --> 00:07:40,011
Hulk hands, right?

101
00:07:40,045 --> 00:07:42,713
And then you just, you look
down, and you just...

102
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:45,317
you brace yourself,
and you ravage the midsection.

103
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:47,052
-Pinch the... Yeah. Okay.
-I get it. Okay, thank you.

104
00:07:47,085 --> 00:07:48,987
-The picture's painted.
-You get the gist.

105
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:51,456
Uh, what exactly
brings you here today?

106
00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:54,659
Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh...

107
00:07:54,693 --> 00:07:56,194
I... I care.

108
00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:59,164
I know I turn everything
into a joke, but I...

109
00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:03,935
I care, and I wanna use
that feeling...

110
00:08:04,769 --> 00:08:07,172
for something important.

111
00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:08,506
I... I wanna matter.

112
00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:13,178
I need to show my girl
that I matter.

113
00:08:14,479 --> 00:08:15,981
And...

114
00:08:16,014 --> 00:08:17,282
You know,
I feel like I'm wasting

115
00:08:17,315 --> 00:08:18,149
the good stuff here.

116
00:08:18,183 --> 00:08:19,718
Is the man not gonna
be joining us?

117
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:20,785
-The man?
-Yeah.

118
00:08:20,819 --> 00:08:22,954
I should save this
if he's gonna...

119
00:08:22,988 --> 00:08:24,990
Uh, as far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.

120
00:08:25,023 --> 00:08:26,658
-No.
-The man is me.

121
00:08:26,691 --> 00:08:29,661
I am the man
in this circumstance.

122
00:08:29,694 --> 00:08:30,895
-Mm.
-He doesn't do

123
00:08:30,929 --> 00:08:32,497
this kind of thing anymore.

124
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:33,565
-Cameos?
-Meetings.

125
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:35,233
-Meetings.
-Entry-level meetings.

126
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:36,101
Entry-level?

127
00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:38,136
Aren't you the chauffeur...

128
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,438
-maybe?
-I... Common misconception.

129
00:08:40,472 --> 00:08:41,806
-Okay.
-I did begin my career

130
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,608
as Mr. Stark's driver.

131
00:08:43,642 --> 00:08:44,676
-Okay.
-Quickly pivoted to...

132
00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:46,211
-Chauffeur.
-...the Head of Security.

133
00:08:46,244 --> 00:08:48,213
The Head of...
Of course, yes, yes, yes.

134
00:08:48,246 --> 00:08:51,249
And why I am vetting
your resume.

135
00:08:51,283 --> 00:08:53,652
You seem to have left out
whether or not you had

136
00:08:53,685 --> 00:08:55,387
any experience
as a member of a team.

137
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:56,254
Could you maybe add

138
00:08:56,288 --> 00:08:57,522
a little bit
of perspective there?

139
00:08:57,555 --> 00:08:59,958
Oh. No, yes, of course.
I was Special Forces...

140
00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:01,026
-Okay.
-...but I was...

141
00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:02,694
Mainly, I was team leader...

142
00:09:02,727 --> 00:09:03,995
founder, really, of X-Force.

143
00:09:04,029 --> 00:09:05,964
Sadly, they... they all
perished in action though.

144
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:07,332
Oh. How exactly
did that happen?

145
00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:09,567
Well, the police say gravity,
but if...

146
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,069
Just between us,
they didn't test well

147
00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:12,570
-in the focus group.
-I see.

148
00:09:12,604 --> 00:09:14,306
-Particularly Cable.
-X-Force.

149
00:09:14,339 --> 00:09:15,206
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

150
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,274
Look, I can see
this isn't going well.

151
00:09:16,308 --> 00:09:17,777
Please stop writing.
Look, I... I...

152
00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:19,878
I'm just...
I wanna be an Avenger.

153
00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:23,281
I wanna be an Avenger.

154
00:09:25,016 --> 00:09:26,918
Why do you wanna be
an Avenger?

155
00:09:26,951 --> 00:09:28,486
Look around you.
I mean, they're the...

156
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:29,921
they're the best of the best.

157
00:09:29,954 --> 00:09:31,990
And... And what
they do matters.

158
00:09:32,023 --> 00:09:34,426
I need to be an Avenger.

159
00:09:34,459 --> 00:09:36,895
Sir, my girl
has kinda had it
with my shtick,

160
00:09:36,928 --> 00:09:38,229
and I... if I don't, you know,

161
00:09:38,263 --> 00:09:41,066
turn things around and
do something with my "gifts,"

162
00:09:41,099 --> 00:09:42,834
I don't think it's gonna
really work out for me,

163
00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:44,269
and I wouldn't blame her.

164
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:49,708
Avengers are a very unique
group of superheroes

165
00:09:49,741 --> 00:09:50,942
that stand for something

166
00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:53,611
more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.

167
00:09:53,645 --> 00:09:56,881
I mean, people look up to us.
Kids look up to us.

168
00:09:56,915 --> 00:09:58,116
-They--
-I'm sorry. "Us"?

169
00:09:58,149 --> 00:10:00,820
I wasn't aware
that you were an Avenger.

170
00:10:00,852 --> 00:10:01,886
Avengers-adjacent,
technically.

171
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,288
Oh, wow.
What's your superpower?

172
00:10:03,321 --> 00:10:05,957
Is it parallel parking?
I am so sorry.

173
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:07,292
That was cruel.

174
00:10:07,325 --> 00:10:09,728
I lash out when I'm nervous.
Won't happen again.

175
00:10:09,762 --> 00:10:11,096
-Let's cut to the chase.
-Please.

176
00:10:11,129 --> 00:10:12,697
You just said moments ago

177
00:10:12,731 --> 00:10:15,066
that you wanted to be
an Avenger because

178
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,235
you need it.

179
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,303
Yes, sir, I do.

180
00:10:18,336 --> 00:10:19,904
But the Avengers
don't do the job

181
00:10:19,938 --> 00:10:21,373
because they need it.

182
00:10:21,406 --> 00:10:23,541
They do the job
because people need them.

183
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:26,244
Do you see the distinction?

184
00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:29,447
Yes, sir.

185
00:10:30,315 --> 00:10:31,851
Please, Mr. Hogan.

186
00:10:31,883 --> 00:10:33,051
I don't wanna spend
the rest of my life

187
00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:35,286
like an annoying
one-trick pony.

188
00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:39,190
All right.

189
00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:41,794
Oh, my God, you're standing.

190
00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:43,328
Yeah, now's the time
that we stand.

191
00:10:43,361 --> 00:10:44,195
Damn it.

192
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:45,798
Now, the problem
might be that you're

193
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:48,233
reaching a little...
little too high.

194
00:10:48,266 --> 00:10:50,836
Aim for the middle,
and you'll never miss.

195
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,036
Right?
I think you got a good heart.

196
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:53,972
I believe what you're saying.

197
00:10:54,005 --> 00:10:55,607
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.

198
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,308
I'm not, and I'm happy.

199
00:10:57,877 --> 00:10:59,644
Right? I found my place.

200
00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:01,913
Find your place.

201
00:11:02,815 --> 00:11:04,916
All right? Get back out there.

202
00:11:04,949 --> 00:11:06,518
-We'll keep an eye on you.
-Okay.

203
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:07,552
Good luck.

204
00:11:08,686 --> 00:11:11,256
-Mm. Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.

205
00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:13,893
Fetch the car.
I wanna hit Shake Shack.

206
00:11:13,925 --> 00:11:15,460
Rejection makes me hungy.

207
00:11:16,461 --> 00:11:17,996
-No, no. Please.
-No?

208
00:11:18,029 --> 00:11:19,631
-Yeah, no, no, no.
-Okay.

209
00:11:19,664 --> 00:11:20,932
Okay, thank you.

210
00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:24,569
<i>You know what they say.</i>

211
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:26,104
<i>When one door closes,</i>

212
00:11:27,138 --> 00:11:28,908
<i>your locker at work opens.</i>

213
00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,018
Now let's go sell
some certified

214
00:11:40,051 --> 00:11:41,754
pre-owned vehicles,
motherfu...

215
00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:47,292
Technically, the...
the Carnival's not a minivan.

216
00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:49,527
It's an MPV.

217
00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:52,096
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?

218
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,598
The Odyssey?
That's a great question.

219
00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:55,733
Um, it doesn't fucking suck.

220
00:11:55,768 --> 00:11:58,269
You know, you can answer
the question without swearing.

221
00:11:58,303 --> 00:12:00,940
I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't...
I don't have kids.

222
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:02,740
Not that I haven't
dreamt of that,

223
00:12:02,775 --> 00:12:05,009
but I don't have
a lot of vaginal sex.

224
00:12:08,179 --> 00:12:09,380
You'll get 'em
next time, pal.

225
00:12:09,414 --> 00:12:10,482
-Yeah.
-And look,

226
00:12:10,515 --> 00:12:12,217
you can always go back
to superhero-ing.

227
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,986
I mean, I know I'd like
to see you back in the suit.

228
00:12:15,019 --> 00:12:17,655
I don't keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.

229
00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:20,325
I keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.

230
00:12:20,358 --> 00:12:23,528
Hey, hey, hey.
What is that doing in there?

231
00:12:23,561 --> 00:12:24,662
I'm done.

232
00:12:26,431 --> 00:12:27,432
I'm done.

233
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,235
And I'm fine with being done.

234
00:12:30,268 --> 00:12:32,070
Look, is sales the best match?

235
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,538
Probably not.

236
00:12:33,571 --> 00:12:37,342
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.

237
00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:40,478
But this is the right fit
for me, Sugar Bear, it is.

238
00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:42,113
Okay, Mr. Wilson.

239
00:12:42,146 --> 00:12:43,849
I'm just saying,
once a month,

240
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,951
we could go
on a little mission.

241
00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:48,787
We're human beings.
We crave purpose.

242
00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:50,455
After all, we're Deadpool.

243
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:53,091
Please stop saying that.
We're not Deadpool.

244
00:12:53,124 --> 00:12:55,393
I'm not even Deadpool anymore.

245
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:58,296
Well, if you're gonna have
a midlife crisis, go big.

246
00:12:58,329 --> 00:13:00,265
A few years ago,
a friend of mine

247
00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:02,567
got his nipples pierced
with a titanium chain

248
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,871
that goes down and attaches
to his Van Johnson.

249
00:13:09,909 --> 00:13:11,911
Are... Are you feeling
grumplestiltskin

250
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:13,378
'cause it's your birthday?

251
00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:16,147
What?

252
00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:17,816
No.

253
00:13:18,851 --> 00:13:20,051
No.

254
00:13:23,254 --> 00:13:25,256
Surprise!

255
00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:27,793
Hey, you guys are lucky
I'm not armed.

256
00:13:28,526 --> 00:13:29,561
Get in here.

257
00:13:29,594 --> 00:13:31,997
If this were six years ago,
you'd all be dead.

258
00:13:32,031 --> 00:13:33,799
So then,
he gets out of the cab,

259
00:13:33,832 --> 00:13:34,967
and you will not believe it.

260
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,969
I turn around,
and what do I find?

261
00:13:37,002 --> 00:13:38,670
-AirPods. His AirPods.
-His AirPods!

262
00:13:38,703 --> 00:13:39,905
-Come on.
-Crazy story.

263
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:42,640
-Every time. Come on.
Every single time.

264
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,144
Make any sales today?

265
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,579
You know I didn't.

266
00:13:47,612 --> 00:13:49,347
Did you sell
any dreamcatchers on Etsy

267
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:51,016
or whatever it is
that you do?

268
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,717
Our rent's due
in three days, Wade.

269
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,053
I can't keep carrying you.

270
00:13:54,085 --> 00:13:55,687
Relax. I have the money.

271
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,222
I sold some old
blood pressure medication

272
00:13:58,256 --> 00:13:59,524
I found lying around.

273
00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:01,192
You tryin' to kill me,
motherfucker?

274
00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:02,895
I'm not the one
dousing everything in salt,

275
00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:05,363
-motherfucker.
-I pray every day

276
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:07,398
that fire finds your body

277
00:14:07,432 --> 00:14:09,902
and finishes the job
God didn't have

278
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:11,603
-the nuts to do.
-That's hurtful.

279
00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:13,104
If you could hear
the look on my face,

280
00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:14,672
you'd smell how sad I am.

281
00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:16,008
You watched anything good?

282
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:17,810
<i>Great British Bake Off.</i>

283
00:14:17,843 --> 00:14:19,177
Oh, goddamn.

284
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:21,512
That show stood between me
and suicide for 10 years.

285
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:24,215
Those are my feelings on
abortion, religious freedom,

286
00:14:24,248 --> 00:14:26,417
animal rights,
privacy rights, vaccines,

287
00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:28,653
free-market capitalism,
global climate change.

288
00:14:28,686 --> 00:14:31,723
Yeah, duh-duh-duh.
No, no speaking lines, Buck.

289
00:14:31,757 --> 00:14:33,859
-Hi, Yukio.
-Hi, Wade.

290
00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:36,394
Nice fake o'clock shadow.

291
00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:39,664
It's a summer balayage.
From the French.

292
00:14:39,697 --> 00:14:43,234
It's meant to mimic
the natural highlights
of the sun.

293
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:45,169
-It's a toupee.
-It's a hair system.

294
00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,538
I love your hair system, Wade.

295
00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:48,874
Thank you. Heh.

296
00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:50,341
Wanna do some cocaine?

297
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:53,478
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Feige said is off limits.

298
00:14:53,511 --> 00:14:55,313
What about
Bolivian marching powder?

299
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,448
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.

300
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,317
-Even snowboarding?
-Even disco dust.

301
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:00,385
White girl interrupted?

302
00:15:00,418 --> 00:15:01,987
-Even Forrest Bump.
-Booger sugar?

303
00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:03,254
I wouldn't even try
powdered gonuts.

304
00:15:03,287 --> 00:15:06,859
-Do you wanna build a snowman?
-Yes. But I can't.

305
00:15:08,459 --> 00:15:09,862
Pull here.

306
00:15:09,895 --> 00:15:10,996
-Here?
-Yeah.

307
00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:13,799
-What happened?
-That's the fun part.

308
00:15:15,134 --> 00:15:16,467
Thanks for coming.

309
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:17,602
Yeah.

310
00:15:17,635 --> 00:15:18,837
How's work?

311
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:20,238
Oh, I got a promotion.

312
00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:22,373
No way.

313
00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:25,510
Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle
management, but I'm happy.

314
00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:26,611
That's great.

315
00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:29,848
-You, uh, seeing anyone?
-How about you?

316
00:15:30,883 --> 00:15:32,818
Um... Yeah.

317
00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:35,486
A guy from work. Dermot.

318
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,721
Dermot.

319
00:15:36,755 --> 00:15:38,157
-He's kind.
-Good.

320
00:15:38,189 --> 00:15:39,858
Likes to go hiking.

321
00:15:39,892 --> 00:15:41,325
Hasn't gotten me shot yet.

322
00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:43,695
Well, it's the early days.

323
00:15:47,565 --> 00:15:49,600
What about you?
You seeing anyone?

324
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:50,568
Mm...

325
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,303
No, no, I live
in a one-bedroom apartment.

326
00:15:52,336 --> 00:15:53,872
I share a bed with Blind Al.

327
00:15:55,273 --> 00:15:57,341
Okay.

328
00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:58,811
-All right.
-All right.

329
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:05,416
-Speech! Speech!
-Yes!

330
00:16:05,450 --> 00:16:07,485
All right.
Okay, okay, okay. Uh...

331
00:16:08,252 --> 00:16:09,353
Birthdays.

332
00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:11,123
Boy, every spin
around the moon

333
00:16:11,156 --> 00:16:12,223
is a new adventure indeed.

334
00:16:12,256 --> 00:16:14,492
-Sun, dumbass.
-Okay, round-earther.

335
00:16:15,828 --> 00:16:17,963
-Where was I?
-The adventure of life.

336
00:16:17,996 --> 00:16:19,098
Right. Um...

337
00:16:19,131 --> 00:16:21,365
It's been
a challenging few years.

338
00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:22,734
Haven't seen you guys
in a while.

339
00:16:22,768 --> 00:16:25,137
Been through a lot,
uh, change of life.

340
00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:27,206
-Menopause?
-Bitch, are you improv-ing?

341
00:16:27,238 --> 00:16:29,640
-Mm-mm.
-Sorry.

342
00:16:29,674 --> 00:16:31,176
I'm sorry that
you had to see that, Yukio.

343
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,277
-It's okay.
-Yeah.

344
00:16:34,378 --> 00:16:36,148
But I'm happy.

345
00:16:36,181 --> 00:16:37,482
You know, and that's... that's

346
00:16:37,515 --> 00:16:40,618
because of each
and every one of you.

347
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,320
I guess,
what I'm trying to say is

348
00:16:42,353 --> 00:16:43,956
how proud I am,
how grateful I am

349
00:16:43,989 --> 00:16:45,289
to be standing in a room

350
00:16:45,323 --> 00:16:48,559
with every single
person I love.

351
00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:55,433
I'm the luckiest man alive.

352
00:16:57,836 --> 00:16:58,736
Make a wish, buddy.

353
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:01,639
Ten-four, good buddy.

354
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:02,775
Going down.

355
00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:10,082
Wade Wilson?

356
00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:11,516
Oh, yeah. Dancers.

357
00:17:11,549 --> 00:17:13,417
Dopinder must have
ordered you.

358
00:17:13,451 --> 00:17:15,154
Are those supposed
to be cop costumes?

359
00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:16,687
Never mind.

360
00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:19,057
Take your clothes off
but leave the helmets.

361
00:17:19,091 --> 00:17:20,391
And this isn't <i>Pretty Woman.</i>

362
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,493
We're kissing. All right?

363
00:17:22,527 --> 00:17:24,428
What song do you guys
normally dance to?

364
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:28,633
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

365
00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:30,002
Is that supposed to be scary?

366
00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:32,004
Pegging isn't new for me,
friendo.

367
00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:33,538
But it is for Disney.

368
00:17:34,173 --> 00:17:35,306
Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta!

369
00:17:35,339 --> 00:17:37,209
Okay, I've never been
a natural bottom,

370
00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:39,211
so we're gonna
take things real slow.

371
00:17:39,244 --> 00:17:41,180
And I want some
crazy eye contact.

372
00:17:41,213 --> 00:17:42,680
Not you.
You.

373
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,649
Can't see your eyes
through the mask,
but I can feel them.

374
00:17:44,682 --> 00:17:46,350
We're gonna move on
down the hallway

375
00:17:46,384 --> 00:17:48,352
so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole.

376
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:49,822
How's everyone feel
about this plan?

377
00:17:49,855 --> 00:17:50,756
I don't like you.

378
00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:53,025
Yes. Let's hold on
to that attitude.

379
00:17:53,058 --> 00:17:54,827
And we're gonna do it angry.

380
00:18:12,945 --> 00:18:14,079
Mr. Wilson...

381
00:18:15,814 --> 00:18:18,817
you appear to have soiled
yourself while unconscious.

382
00:18:18,851 --> 00:18:21,485
I wasn't unconscious.
Who are you?

383
00:18:21,519 --> 00:18:23,454
I go by the name of Paradox.

384
00:18:23,487 --> 00:18:27,125
Mr. Paradox. And you're
sitting here at the TVA.

385
00:18:27,159 --> 00:18:29,261
The Time Variance Authority.

386
00:18:29,294 --> 00:18:31,562
We're really
a watchdog organization,

387
00:18:31,596 --> 00:18:34,266
except we're more lighthearted
than that sounds,

388
00:18:34,299 --> 00:18:37,702
with a sort of
throwback, ironic twist.

389
00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:39,338
And we're in charge
of defending

390
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:42,007
what's known
as the Sacred Timeline.

391
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,409
Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton
of exposition for a threequel.

392
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:47,411
Is this because
I used Cable's time machine?

393
00:18:47,445 --> 00:18:49,248
Brought a couple of people
back to life,

394
00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:50,349
then I destroyed it.

395
00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:51,783
-That was a long time ago.
-Yes,

396
00:18:51,817 --> 00:18:54,552
we're aware of your abuse
of your timeline.

397
00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:57,322
And you were
so abusive of it.

398
00:18:57,356 --> 00:18:59,825
Uh, no, it has nothing
to do with that.

399
00:18:59,858 --> 00:19:00,926
Walk with me.

400
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:09,433
I brought you here,
Mr. Wilson, to tell you

401
00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:11,569
that you're special.

402
00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:14,538
In fact, you've been chosen
for a higher purpose,

403
00:19:14,572 --> 00:19:16,909
a purpose unclear even to me.

404
00:19:16,942 --> 00:19:18,877
But one that could

405
00:19:18,911 --> 00:19:21,947
save the entire
Sacred Timeline

406
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:24,682
from a possibly grisly fate
sometime in the future,

407
00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:27,352
which may very well
need to be...

408
00:19:27,386 --> 00:19:29,221
avenged.

409
00:19:29,254 --> 00:19:30,956
This Sacred Timeline,

410
00:19:32,024 --> 00:19:33,959
I assume I'm going to marvel

411
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,593
at how

412
00:19:36,128 --> 00:19:37,963
cinematic it feels?

413
00:19:37,996 --> 00:19:39,865
Gratuitous cameos,

414
00:19:39,898 --> 00:19:42,067
indiscriminate use of
Variants, the whole package?

415
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,102
Well, you tell me.

416
00:19:51,109 --> 00:19:52,110
Cap!

417
00:19:59,217 --> 00:20:01,719
You are no longer lost, Wade.

418
00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:04,722
You can be a hero
among heroes.

419
00:20:04,756 --> 00:20:06,925
We've been surveilling you
for quite a while.

420
00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:10,028
-Subway station.
-A TVA outpost, yes.

421
00:20:11,196 --> 00:20:12,496
-And what is that?
-Hmm?

422
00:20:15,334 --> 00:20:16,835
Is that me? Is that Thor?

423
00:20:18,236 --> 00:20:20,105
-Is he crying?
-Uh, let's not

424
00:20:20,138 --> 00:20:21,472
get ahead of ourselves.

425
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:22,774
That happens
in the distant future.

426
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:24,675
Why is Thor crying?
Quick! Tell me.

427
00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:26,178
Do not speak to her.
Stop that. Eyes on me.

428
00:20:26,211 --> 00:20:28,612
I brought you here
to offer you an opportunity.

429
00:20:28,646 --> 00:20:30,614
The opportunity
you sought years ago,

430
00:20:30,648 --> 00:20:32,217
but for which
you were not ready.

431
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,785
We believe you're ready now.

432
00:20:33,819 --> 00:20:35,887
Ready for a chance
to leave your timeline

433
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:38,223
and join the greatest
universe of all.

434
00:20:38,256 --> 00:20:40,258
I am about to
give you the thing
you've always wanted.

435
00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:41,827
Oh, I smell
what you're steppin' in.

436
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:43,328
The power
in the Marvel Universe

437
00:20:43,362 --> 00:20:44,595
is about to change forever.

438
00:20:46,697 --> 00:20:48,433
I am the Messiah...

439
00:20:50,268 --> 00:20:52,603
I am...

440
00:20:53,772 --> 00:20:55,273
...Marvel Jesus.

441
00:20:56,607 --> 00:20:58,210
Can you excuse me
for just a moment?

442
00:20:58,243 --> 00:20:59,744
I'm just gonna go over here.

443
00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:04,316
Suck it, Fox!

444
00:21:04,349 --> 00:21:05,616
I'm going to Disneyland.

445
00:21:05,649 --> 00:21:07,119
Get fucked!

446
00:21:10,621 --> 00:21:11,655
Where do I sign?

447
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:12,791
Oh, there's no need
for paperwork.

448
00:21:12,824 --> 00:21:15,193
Good. Not to brag,
but I do not read.

449
00:21:15,227 --> 00:21:16,094
Oh.

450
00:21:16,128 --> 00:21:18,263
There is one thing
I will need, though.

451
00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:25,037
Oh, fuck off!

452
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:27,039
Adorn me, Beardo.

453
00:21:47,526 --> 00:21:49,061
Fuckin' A!

454
00:21:49,094 --> 00:21:51,229
Uhh! It's perfect! FYI,

455
00:21:51,263 --> 00:21:54,533
your tailor is a predator,
but I love it. Snug.

456
00:21:54,565 --> 00:21:55,699
No camel toe.

457
00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:59,337
New car smell
and adamantium katanas?

458
00:21:59,371 --> 00:22:01,173
You shouldn't have.

459
00:22:01,206 --> 00:22:03,108
Go ahead. Take it in.

460
00:22:03,141 --> 00:22:05,877
And yes, your underwear
is getting tighter.

461
00:22:05,911 --> 00:22:07,678
That guy knows
what I'm talking about.

462
00:22:07,711 --> 00:22:09,414
His clothes says
middle management,

463
00:22:09,448 --> 00:22:12,117
but his eyes say
fuck-y fuck-y.

464
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:14,086
Yes. You look very nice.

465
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,187
"Nice"?

466
00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:17,255
Your buddy here is ready
to throw it all away for me.

467
00:22:17,289 --> 00:22:18,557
-You callin' your wife?
-HR.

468
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:19,991
Does your wife
work in HR?

469
00:22:20,025 --> 00:22:22,394
I'm really glad
you're taking this so well.

470
00:22:22,427 --> 00:22:24,129
Oh, I'm taking it well.

471
00:22:24,162 --> 00:22:26,697
I have never had a problem
traveling for work.

472
00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,867
That said,
we should talk vacation days.

473
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:31,503
I'm more of a one-week-on-
one-week-off kind of guy.

474
00:22:31,536 --> 00:22:32,971
I think it's what they do
in Denmark.

475
00:22:33,004 --> 00:22:34,773
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon,

476
00:22:34,806 --> 00:22:36,740
but
goddamn it, they're happy.

477
00:22:36,775 --> 00:22:39,478
Now, let's power up your
little Amazon Fire phone there

478
00:22:39,511 --> 00:22:40,979
and zip me back home

479
00:22:41,012 --> 00:22:42,981
so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded

480
00:22:43,014 --> 00:22:44,049
to disciples.

481
00:22:44,082 --> 00:22:47,119
Yeah. I don't think you...
quite understand.

482
00:22:47,152 --> 00:22:49,855
Um, you will not be returning
to your home

483
00:22:49,888 --> 00:22:52,357
because there will be
no home to return to.

484
00:22:52,390 --> 00:22:53,425
Come again?

485
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:54,692
This time in my ears.

486
00:22:58,797 --> 00:23:01,933
This is your universe,
Mr. Wilson.

487
00:23:02,434 --> 00:23:03,734
That

488
00:23:03,768 --> 00:23:05,736
is what happens
when a universe

489
00:23:05,770 --> 00:23:07,939
loses their Anchor Being.

490
00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:10,142
See how it decays
from the inside?

491
00:23:10,175 --> 00:23:13,011
-This is how a reality dies.
-What's an Anchor Being?

492
00:23:13,044 --> 00:23:15,447
An Anchor Being is an entity
of such vital importance

493
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:16,680
that when they die,

494
00:23:16,714 --> 00:23:20,051
their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.

495
00:23:20,085 --> 00:23:22,921
You've just won the lottery
because I didn't die.

496
00:23:22,954 --> 00:23:24,789
It was just a little midlife
crisis. I'm better now.

497
00:23:24,823 --> 00:23:27,192
Oh, no, no, no.

498
00:23:31,029 --> 00:23:33,832
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, I love to laugh.

499
00:23:33,865 --> 00:23:36,568
Can you imagine
if you were the Anchor Being?

500
00:23:36,601 --> 00:23:38,702
-Yeah.
-Oh!

501
00:23:38,736 --> 00:23:41,273
-Yeah.
-No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.

502
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:43,408
Your Anchor Being died

503
00:23:43,441 --> 00:23:46,677
in an act
of self-sacrifice so epic

504
00:23:46,710 --> 00:23:49,080
that it sent shivers
down the Timeline.

505
00:23:49,114 --> 00:23:52,184
I am referring,
of course, to...

506
00:23:53,518 --> 00:23:57,289
Logan. The Wolverine.

507
00:24:00,724 --> 00:24:03,195
<i>Don't be</i>
<i>what they made you.</i>

508
00:24:13,138 --> 00:24:15,840
<i>Ah, so this is</i>
<i>what it feels like...</i>

509
00:24:17,509 --> 00:24:18,709
Logan.

510
00:24:19,444 --> 00:24:20,445
Of course.

511
00:24:21,112 --> 00:24:22,113
Logan.

512
00:24:24,849 --> 00:24:26,384
Logan?

513
00:24:26,418 --> 00:24:28,386
The guy with forks for hands?

514
00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:30,989
That Wolverine?

515
00:24:31,022 --> 00:24:32,824
Yeah, I got it.
You can turn your

516
00:24:32,857 --> 00:24:35,160
retro graphics of death
off now. Make it stop.

517
00:24:35,193 --> 00:24:36,695
We're not doing it,
Mr. Wilson.

518
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:37,963
We certainly can't stop it.

519
00:24:40,031 --> 00:24:41,066
How long have we got?

520
00:24:41,099 --> 00:24:43,768
In most cases,
couple thousand years.

521
00:24:43,802 --> 00:24:45,070
-Well, sweet.
-Well, most cases

522
00:24:45,103 --> 00:24:47,539
aren't fast enough.
Not for me.

523
00:24:47,572 --> 00:24:48,673
What does that mean?

524
00:24:48,707 --> 00:24:50,875
It means
that I have been tasked

525
00:24:50,909 --> 00:24:53,345
with overseeing
the end of your universe.

526
00:24:53,378 --> 00:24:54,312
And regardless of what

527
00:24:54,346 --> 00:24:56,248
the pencil pushers upstairs
would prefer,

528
00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:57,515
I will not

529
00:24:57,549 --> 00:25:01,086
waste my life watching it die
slowly of natural causes.

530
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,255
We used to just prune
these things. Simple.

531
00:25:03,288 --> 00:25:05,257
Elegant. Efficient.
But I'm told the TVA

532
00:25:05,290 --> 00:25:07,792
doesn't like to do that
anymore. Well, I do.

533
00:25:07,826 --> 00:25:09,628
And no matter what
my so-called superiors say,

534
00:25:09,661 --> 00:25:12,264
the multiverse does not
need a babysitter.

535
00:25:12,297 --> 00:25:13,965
We need a mercy killer.

536
00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:15,700
And in this instance,

537
00:25:15,734 --> 00:25:19,004
I am the mercy killer. Ha!

538
00:25:23,308 --> 00:25:25,176
What in
the MacGuffin is that?

539
00:25:25,210 --> 00:25:27,545
That's
a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson.

540
00:25:27,579 --> 00:25:29,214
An accelerant.

541
00:25:29,247 --> 00:25:31,950
Once completed,
it will allow me to destroy

542
00:25:31,983 --> 00:25:34,019
the spacetime matrix
of your universe.

543
00:25:34,052 --> 00:25:36,354
You see, I don't want
to work for the TVA.

544
00:25:36,388 --> 00:25:38,256
I want to be the TVA.

545
00:25:38,290 --> 00:25:41,026
And the first step involves
showing this organization

546
00:25:41,059 --> 00:25:42,927
how much more efficient
it can become.

547
00:25:42,961 --> 00:25:44,796
To wit, I will be
giving your universe

548
00:25:44,829 --> 00:25:47,365
a swift and compassionate end.

549
00:25:47,399 --> 00:25:49,000
And don't worry, your friends
won't feel a thing.

550
00:25:49,034 --> 00:25:51,803
It'll be over just like this.
"Oh, what's that?"

551
00:25:52,404 --> 00:25:53,471
Trust me.

552
00:26:06,051 --> 00:26:08,486
You're gonna Old Yeller
my fucking universe?

553
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,722
Mm... In your parlance, yes.

554
00:26:10,756 --> 00:26:12,157
Two in the heart,
one in the head.

555
00:26:12,190 --> 00:26:14,259
Look, Mr. Wilson,
you have two choices.

556
00:26:14,292 --> 00:26:15,795
You can either rejoin
your loved ones

557
00:26:15,827 --> 00:26:17,696
and collectively cease
to exist in,

558
00:26:17,729 --> 00:26:20,766
I'd say, 72 hours. Or...

559
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,335
you join the Sacred Timeline.

560
00:26:23,368 --> 00:26:25,771
And you end your days
of insignificance

561
00:26:25,805 --> 00:26:28,039
and mediocrity.

562
00:26:28,073 --> 00:26:29,641
Wade.

563
00:26:29,674 --> 00:26:31,543
Wade, you can finally,

564
00:26:31,576 --> 00:26:34,112
finally matter.

565
00:26:43,722 --> 00:26:45,857
That's all
I've ever really wanted.

566
00:26:45,890 --> 00:26:47,292
I know.

567
00:26:47,793 --> 00:26:49,728
I know.

568
00:26:49,762 --> 00:26:51,930
And you know I'm...
I'm nothing if not

569
00:26:51,963 --> 00:26:53,365
morally flexible.

570
00:26:55,734 --> 00:26:56,935
Yep, yep.

571
00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:00,205
I'll do it.

572
00:27:00,238 --> 00:27:01,139
Wise choice.

573
00:27:01,172 --> 00:27:03,007
The Sacred Timeline's happy
to have you.

574
00:27:03,041 --> 00:27:04,209
I was actually
talking about finding

575
00:27:04,242 --> 00:27:06,077
the Wolverine and breaking
your fucking nose.

576
00:27:19,759 --> 00:27:22,127
Find him. Find him!

577
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,162
<i>And boy, did he ever.</i>

578
00:27:25,865 --> 00:27:27,399
<i>Which brings us back to this.</i>

579
00:27:29,334 --> 00:27:31,636
<i>The desecration</i>
<i>of the sacred corpse.</i>

580
00:27:35,775 --> 00:27:37,475
Oh, my God!

581
00:27:38,476 --> 00:27:41,513
Oh! My own fucking arm!

582
00:27:44,549 --> 00:27:46,151
Now we're talkin'!

583
00:27:46,184 --> 00:27:47,685
Not like this!

584
00:27:47,719 --> 00:27:49,889
No, dear God! No!

585
00:27:49,921 --> 00:27:52,056
I'm sorry!
Wolverine-ing is hard!

586
00:27:52,090 --> 00:27:53,491
Make it stop!

587
00:27:53,525 --> 00:27:54,726
Mangold tried.

588
00:27:57,529 --> 00:27:59,597
You sick fuck!

589
00:27:59,631 --> 00:28:00,999
Logan was a hero.

590
00:28:01,032 --> 00:28:02,600
And the only thing
worth a shit

591
00:28:02,634 --> 00:28:04,035
to ever come out of Canada.

592
00:28:11,811 --> 00:28:14,012
Get my country's name

593
00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:16,247
out of your fuckin' mouth.

594
00:28:17,148 --> 00:28:19,017
And my sword. Give me that.

595
00:28:22,187 --> 00:28:24,622
Oh, I gotta find me
another Logan.

596
00:28:25,056 --> 00:28:26,391
An alive one.

597
00:28:26,424 --> 00:28:29,394
Don't get up, guys.
I'll see myself out.

598
00:28:36,367 --> 00:28:37,368
Logan!

599
00:28:40,906 --> 00:28:42,707
I'm gonna need you
to come with me.

600
00:28:43,843 --> 00:28:45,043
Who's asking?

601
00:28:47,178 --> 00:28:49,113
Oh, look at
this little Hairy Lou Retton.

602
00:28:49,147 --> 00:28:51,015
Did you stick the landing,
little guy?

603
00:28:51,549 --> 00:28:52,584
Yes, you did!

604
00:28:52,617 --> 00:28:54,285
Comic-accurate short king.

605
00:28:54,319 --> 00:28:56,721
Such a cute wittle Wolvie.

606
00:28:56,755 --> 00:28:58,389
Cue the fuckin' montage, baby.

607
00:28:58,423 --> 00:29:00,124
Ahoy!

608
00:29:00,158 --> 00:29:02,427
Everything seems
to be on fire.

609
00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:04,095
You have a dragon?

610
00:29:04,128 --> 00:29:06,698
Ooh, you have Anchor Being
written all over--

611
00:29:16,541 --> 00:29:17,575
Patch!

612
00:29:17,609 --> 00:29:20,779
Oh, now we're talkin'.

613
00:29:21,479 --> 00:29:23,181
Oh, yeah.

614
00:29:23,214 --> 00:29:25,350
That's the whole goddamn
package right there.

615
00:29:26,351 --> 00:29:27,285
Howdy!

616
00:29:27,318 --> 00:29:30,054
I'm just... I'm auditioning
Anchor Beings.

617
00:29:30,088 --> 00:29:32,724
Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need
some coconut oil.

618
00:29:37,028 --> 00:29:39,197
What in the fuck?

619
00:29:39,230 --> 00:29:41,032
Are you okay?

620
00:29:41,432 --> 00:29:42,367
Oh, yes, yes.

621
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,369
Classic John Byrne
brown and tan.

622
00:29:44,402 --> 00:29:46,371
Now, you fought the Hulk
in this outfit. No?

623
00:29:49,274 --> 00:29:51,042
I'm Marvel Jesus,
you dull creature,

624
00:29:51,075 --> 00:29:52,243
and I will not--

625
00:30:01,754 --> 00:30:04,589
It's not you. We're just going
in a different direction.

626
00:30:07,826 --> 00:30:08,861
You know, from behind,

627
00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:10,029
you look a little bit
like Henry--

628
00:30:10,061 --> 00:30:11,462
Oh, my fuck!

629
00:30:11,496 --> 00:30:14,767
The Cavillrine.
The legends are true.

630
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,803
And may I say, sir,
on behalf of all humanity,

631
00:30:17,836 --> 00:30:19,805
this just feels right.

632
00:30:19,838 --> 00:30:21,372
We will treat you
so much better

633
00:30:21,406 --> 00:30:22,707
than those shit fucks
down the street.

634
00:30:22,740 --> 00:30:25,010
-You were just leavin'.
-No, sir.

635
00:30:25,044 --> 00:30:26,544
Not while the fate
of my universe is at--

636
00:30:31,249 --> 00:30:32,785
This one looks promising.

637
00:30:32,818 --> 00:30:34,118
Down you go.

638
00:30:35,553 --> 00:30:36,554
Again.

639
00:30:37,388 --> 00:30:39,657
I told you.
You're not welcome here.

640
00:30:39,691 --> 00:30:41,125
You're not welcome anywhere.

641
00:30:41,159 --> 00:30:42,427
Now get the fuck
out of my bar.

642
00:30:42,460 --> 00:30:45,129
Just give me one more drink
and then I'll leave.

643
00:30:45,163 --> 00:30:46,966
That's not
how it works.

644
00:30:46,999 --> 00:30:49,200
It does now.
Leave the bottle.

645
00:30:49,233 --> 00:30:50,301
I know you, bub?

646
00:30:50,335 --> 00:30:52,905
Nope. But I know you.

647
00:30:52,938 --> 00:30:54,439
Everybody knows me.

648
00:30:55,908 --> 00:30:57,042
I'm the Wolverine.

649
00:30:57,076 --> 00:30:59,444
Yes, you are.

650
00:30:59,477 --> 00:31:01,579
And I'm gonna need you
to come with me right now.

651
00:31:02,915 --> 00:31:04,315
Look, lady,
I'm not interested.

652
00:31:04,349 --> 00:31:05,750
Really gettin'
into your cups here.

653
00:31:05,784 --> 00:31:07,318
Why would I go with you?

654
00:31:08,286 --> 00:31:10,154
Because, unfortunately,

655
00:31:10,188 --> 00:31:11,522
I need you,

656
00:31:11,556 --> 00:31:15,627
and even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.

657
00:31:16,294 --> 00:31:17,863
You two gonna fuck or fight?

658
00:31:21,834 --> 00:31:23,267
You gonna take that from him?

659
00:31:23,301 --> 00:31:24,837
Yep.

660
00:31:24,870 --> 00:31:27,006
I can tell you have a sort
of don't-get-too-close-

661
00:31:27,039 --> 00:31:28,841
I'll-only-break-your-heart
vibe going here,

662
00:31:28,874 --> 00:31:29,908
but every other Wolverine

663
00:31:29,942 --> 00:31:31,242
would've really hurt me
by now.

664
00:31:31,275 --> 00:31:32,477
And I'm sort of
on the tick-tick.

665
00:31:32,510 --> 00:31:33,979
-So, upsy-daisy. Here we go.
-Whoa, whoa.

666
00:31:34,013 --> 00:31:35,047
-Up you go.
-Hey, hey!

667
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,280
I got you, big guy.

668
00:31:37,582 --> 00:31:38,583
Oh.

669
00:31:40,019 --> 00:31:41,219
Whiskey dick of the claws.

670
00:31:41,252 --> 00:31:42,788
It's quite common
in Wolverines over 40.

671
00:31:42,821 --> 00:31:43,789
You don't want this.

672
00:31:43,822 --> 00:31:46,491
You're right. I don't.
And you don't want this.

673
00:31:46,524 --> 00:31:48,093
Unless you wanna
take a deep breath

674
00:31:48,127 --> 00:31:49,327
through your fuckin' forehead,

675
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,562
I suggest you reconsider.

676
00:31:51,596 --> 00:31:52,664
Let's go, peanut.

677
00:31:57,102 --> 00:31:59,170
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

678
00:31:59,704 --> 00:32:00,705
Watch this.

679
00:32:01,706 --> 00:32:03,741
All right. That-- Whoa.

680
00:32:04,143 --> 00:32:05,343
Easy.

681
00:32:08,881 --> 00:32:10,415
Good God.

682
00:32:10,448 --> 00:32:12,450
Thirsty little honey badger,
aren't ya?

683
00:32:13,384 --> 00:32:15,120
It's okay. Keep goin'.

684
00:32:15,154 --> 00:32:17,221
Audiences are accustomed
to long run times.

685
00:32:22,593 --> 00:32:24,963
Guess you'll have to do.

686
00:32:24,997 --> 00:32:26,197
Okay, here we--

687
00:32:27,166 --> 00:32:30,102
Oh! Look at those jammies.

688
00:32:30,135 --> 00:32:33,504
That only took
20 fucking years.

689
00:32:33,538 --> 00:32:35,774
One Anchor Being
coming right up!

690
00:32:35,808 --> 00:32:38,077
On your left, baby girl.

691
00:32:38,110 --> 00:32:39,210
This Logan has the same

692
00:32:39,243 --> 00:32:41,479
he-can-do-anything-
even-musicals look.

693
00:32:41,512 --> 00:32:43,581
And bonus, he's actually
wearing a costume

694
00:32:43,614 --> 00:32:44,850
like he's not
embarrassed to be

695
00:32:44,883 --> 00:32:46,250
in a superhero movie for once.

696
00:32:46,284 --> 00:32:47,920
I don't understand.

697
00:32:47,953 --> 00:32:49,154
You said my universe is dying

698
00:32:49,188 --> 00:32:51,622
because this sack of nuts
got himself killed.

699
00:32:51,656 --> 00:32:54,292
-Well, problem solved.
<i>-</i> My God.

700
00:32:54,325 --> 00:32:58,730
You actually think you can
replace an Anchor Being

701
00:32:58,764 --> 00:33:00,732
with this?

702
00:33:00,766 --> 00:33:03,334
I wouldn't have accepted
any other Wolverine, BT dubs.

703
00:33:03,367 --> 00:33:05,369
But you have outdone yourself

704
00:33:05,403 --> 00:33:07,605
and brought me
the worst Wolverine!

705
00:33:07,638 --> 00:33:08,874
What do you mean,
the worst one?

706
00:33:08,907 --> 00:33:10,374
Mr. Wilson.

707
00:33:10,408 --> 00:33:14,378
This Wolverine let down
his entire world.

708
00:33:14,412 --> 00:33:16,782
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in a good way.

709
00:33:16,815 --> 00:33:18,050
And what he did,

710
00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:19,450
well,

711
00:33:19,484 --> 00:33:21,787
some things are just
beyond forgiveness.

712
00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:25,423
Okay.

713
00:33:25,456 --> 00:33:28,359
How do I... How do I make
this right? I'll do anything.

714
00:33:28,392 --> 00:33:31,362
I gave you
a chance at greatness.

715
00:33:31,395 --> 00:33:33,999
Because my superiors
deemed you "special."

716
00:33:34,032 --> 00:33:35,500
Clearly not special
in a good way.

717
00:33:35,533 --> 00:33:36,567
Apparently you have some

718
00:33:36,601 --> 00:33:38,771
important future purpose
to serve.

719
00:33:38,804 --> 00:33:39,905
With Thor. He holds me.

720
00:33:39,938 --> 00:33:41,739
But I did my duty.

721
00:33:41,774 --> 00:33:43,809
I gave you the opportunity
to be somebody.

722
00:33:43,842 --> 00:33:45,811
And instead of
accepting my offering

723
00:33:45,844 --> 00:33:48,312
with humility and gratitude,
you broke my nose.

724
00:33:48,346 --> 00:33:49,380
It looks great.

725
00:33:49,413 --> 00:33:51,349
And you decimated
dozens of my men

726
00:33:51,382 --> 00:33:52,985
with the exhumed corpse
of a hero.

727
00:33:53,018 --> 00:33:55,353
Dishonoring not only
his remains but his memory.

728
00:33:55,386 --> 00:33:56,721
What are you, the Internet?

729
00:33:56,755 --> 00:33:58,991
Your world is dying!

730
00:33:59,024 --> 00:34:00,391
Thank you very much.

731
00:34:00,424 --> 00:34:01,726
And there's no stopping it.

732
00:34:03,762 --> 00:34:05,463
The humane thing to do

733
00:34:05,496 --> 00:34:06,564
is to make it quick.

734
00:34:06,597 --> 00:34:08,499
Is the thought
of vaporizing my universe

735
00:34:08,533 --> 00:34:09,802
making you peckish?

736
00:34:09,835 --> 00:34:10,969
I'm eating my feelings.

737
00:34:11,003 --> 00:34:12,603
I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about

738
00:34:12,637 --> 00:34:15,808
because that hairy thundercunt
from down undercunt

739
00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:16,775
finally dies,

740
00:34:16,809 --> 00:34:19,410
and he's standing
right behind me, isn't he?

741
00:34:19,443 --> 00:34:21,412
Welcome to the MCU,
by the way.

742
00:34:21,445 --> 00:34:23,614
You're joining at a bit
of a low point.

743
00:34:23,648 --> 00:34:25,683
As for you,
I wanna talk to your boss.

744
00:34:25,716 --> 00:34:27,119
I want you to get him
on the phone

745
00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:29,154
and you tell him,
her, or them,

746
00:34:29,188 --> 00:34:31,489
that Marvel H. Christ
isn't playing.

747
00:34:36,795 --> 00:34:37,796
Holy shit.

748
00:34:38,462 --> 00:34:40,398
I just heard a symphony

749
00:34:40,431 --> 00:34:42,366
of buttholes clenching
all at once.

750
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,534
You're off grid.

751
00:34:43,568 --> 00:34:44,970
Your bosses don't know
what you sick fucks

752
00:34:45,003 --> 00:34:46,038
are doing down here.

753
00:34:46,071 --> 00:34:47,239
Well, I'll tell you what.

754
00:34:47,272 --> 00:34:49,208
I have a black belt
in Karen...

755
00:34:49,241 --> 00:34:50,541
And I'm gonna go upstairs

756
00:34:50,575 --> 00:34:52,911
and I'm gonna tell 'em
all about you and your--

757
00:34:53,678 --> 00:34:55,479
Oh, silence is nice, isn't it?

758
00:34:55,513 --> 00:34:56,614
Where the fuck did he go?

759
00:34:56,647 --> 00:34:58,616
To the trash heap.
You'll fit right in.

760
00:35:00,285 --> 00:35:01,586
Whew.

761
00:35:01,619 --> 00:35:03,088
That was close.

762
00:35:23,909 --> 00:35:26,477
Don't just
stand there, you ape.

763
00:35:26,510 --> 00:35:28,546
Give me a hand up.

764
00:35:28,579 --> 00:35:30,481
Nope. I'm actually okay.

765
00:35:30,514 --> 00:35:32,683
Thank you very much.

766
00:35:33,718 --> 00:35:34,887
Where the hell are we?

767
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,356
I don't know.
Looks kind of Mad Max-y.

768
00:35:37,388 --> 00:35:39,390
But that would be
IP infringement, right?

769
00:35:39,423 --> 00:35:40,658
Fucking jokes.

770
00:35:44,162 --> 00:35:45,563
Fuck! Fuck.

771
00:35:45,596 --> 00:35:47,065
Were you even listening
back there?

772
00:35:47,099 --> 00:35:50,068
If we don't make it back
to that Mr. Paradox asshole,

773
00:35:50,102 --> 00:35:51,435
everyone I know is gonna die.

774
00:35:51,469 --> 00:35:53,305
Not my fuckin' problem.

775
00:35:53,338 --> 00:35:55,506
Oh, is that all you got?

776
00:35:55,539 --> 00:35:57,742
Is that what you said
when your world went to shit?

777
00:35:58,576 --> 00:36:00,979
Come again?

778
00:36:01,013 --> 00:36:03,015
Yeah, I heard all about you.

779
00:36:03,048 --> 00:36:05,117
How you screwed up everything.

780
00:36:05,150 --> 00:36:06,285
You should be thankin' me

781
00:36:06,318 --> 00:36:07,986
for pulling you out
of that bed you shit in.

782
00:36:08,020 --> 00:36:10,289
You back-stabbing
son of a bitch!

783
00:36:16,328 --> 00:36:17,662
Are you ready to be calm now?

784
00:36:24,803 --> 00:36:27,172
Rest in pieces, Fox.

785
00:36:41,987 --> 00:36:43,789
I don't want to fight you,
peanut.

786
00:36:44,756 --> 00:36:46,524
Doesn't matter what you did.

787
00:36:46,557 --> 00:36:48,226
I just need your help.

788
00:36:49,493 --> 00:36:51,163
I don't fuckin' care.

789
00:36:52,397 --> 00:36:54,366
Uh... Uh-oh.

790
00:36:59,771 --> 00:37:02,473
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.

791
00:37:06,411 --> 00:37:07,879
All right.

792
00:37:08,146 --> 00:37:09,714
Fuck it.

793
00:37:09,747 --> 00:37:11,649
Let's give the people
what they came for.

794
00:37:11,682 --> 00:37:14,485
Let's fuckin' go.

795
00:37:15,420 --> 00:37:17,521
Get your special sock out,
nerds.

796
00:37:17,555 --> 00:37:19,623
It's gonna get good.

797
00:38:09,740 --> 00:38:11,642
Ew.

798
00:38:12,477 --> 00:38:13,812
Gotcha!

799
00:38:20,152 --> 00:38:21,719
Baby Knife!

800
00:38:25,490 --> 00:38:26,624
Let's see you grow

801
00:38:26,657 --> 00:38:27,826
your fuckin' head back.

802
00:38:27,859 --> 00:38:29,761
Wait, wait, wait!
I can fix it! I can fix it.

803
00:38:29,795 --> 00:38:31,930
-Fix what?
-Whatever it is that you did.

804
00:38:32,663 --> 00:38:34,166
Whatever made you so bad.

805
00:38:34,565 --> 00:38:35,967
Those... Those

806
00:38:36,001 --> 00:38:38,602
pricks in the TVA.
You heard him.

807
00:38:39,603 --> 00:38:40,839
They have the power
to end my universe,

808
00:38:40,872 --> 00:38:44,209
but they also have
the power to change yours.

809
00:38:45,777 --> 00:38:49,014
We get back there,
and we can fix your world.

810
00:38:49,047 --> 00:38:50,215
Together.

811
00:38:51,483 --> 00:38:52,750
I promise.

812
00:38:54,152 --> 00:38:55,353
They can fix it.

813
00:38:56,455 --> 00:38:57,756
Hey!

814
00:38:57,789 --> 00:38:59,891
We fight each other, we lose.

815
00:38:59,925 --> 00:39:01,326
Dear God, it's him.

816
00:39:01,359 --> 00:39:03,727
-Who?
-The one.

817
00:39:03,762 --> 00:39:06,664
The superhero equivalent
to comfort food, or Molly.

818
00:39:06,697 --> 00:39:09,334
White guys' answer
to all the disappointments.

819
00:39:09,367 --> 00:39:10,668
And another A-lister.

820
00:39:10,701 --> 00:39:12,104
Fair warning, gorgeous.

821
00:39:12,137 --> 00:39:14,206
You're going to encounter
some indelicate language,

822
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,775
a smidge of ass play,
but we've been prohibited

823
00:39:16,808 --> 00:39:18,676
from using cocaine. On camera.

824
00:39:18,709 --> 00:39:20,946
-They're coming.
-Who's "they"?

825
00:39:27,618 --> 00:39:29,154
Oh, they're driving angry.

826
00:39:34,993 --> 00:39:36,862
Now that's
a superhero landing.

827
00:39:44,035 --> 00:39:45,237
I got this.

828
00:40:08,994 --> 00:40:10,228
Stay close.

829
00:40:10,262 --> 00:40:11,396
Aye, aye, Cap'n.

830
00:40:12,696 --> 00:40:13,899
You got this.

831
00:40:15,967 --> 00:40:19,703
Cassandra is gonna be giddy
when she sees what we caught.

832
00:40:20,539 --> 00:40:21,640
You can't run.

833
00:40:21,705 --> 00:40:22,941
Everybody knows that.

834
00:40:22,974 --> 00:40:26,144
You see anyone runnin',
dick for brains?

835
00:40:26,178 --> 00:40:28,013
You're not gonna love
what happens next.

836
00:40:28,046 --> 00:40:30,048
Oh. Oh, my God.

837
00:40:30,081 --> 00:40:32,384
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's gonna say it.

838
00:40:32,417 --> 00:40:33,451
-Ah! Fuck.
-Ha!

839
00:40:33,485 --> 00:40:35,020
Oh, my God! He's gonna say it!

840
00:40:35,053 --> 00:40:36,788
-Say what?
-Avengers, assemble...

841
00:40:36,821 --> 00:40:38,256
-Flame on!
-I'm sorry, what now?

842
00:41:00,212 --> 00:41:01,580
Ohh!

843
00:41:01,613 --> 00:41:02,948
Fuck!

844
00:41:02,981 --> 00:41:03,982
Ahhh!

845
00:41:06,918 --> 00:41:09,221
-We don't know that guy.
-We thought we did.

846
00:41:09,254 --> 00:41:11,323
I know you.

847
00:41:11,356 --> 00:41:13,391
Holy sh--

848
00:41:15,093 --> 00:41:16,094
Sabretooth.

849
00:41:16,528 --> 00:41:17,728
Your brother.

850
00:41:18,463 --> 00:41:20,232
Ready to die?

851
00:41:20,265 --> 00:41:22,968
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait! Time!

852
00:41:23,535 --> 00:41:25,136
You look ridiculous.

853
00:41:25,170 --> 00:41:27,872
People have waited decades
for this fight.

854
00:41:27,906 --> 00:41:29,740
It's not gonna be easy.
Baby Knife.

855
00:41:29,774 --> 00:41:31,676
Shoot the double,
you take him down.

856
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:33,812
Side control, then full mount,

857
00:41:33,845 --> 00:41:35,213
and you ground and pound

858
00:41:35,247 --> 00:41:36,915
till he makes no sound
because he's dead.

859
00:41:36,948 --> 00:41:38,917
-Shut the fuck up!
-Oh, my God!

860
00:41:38,950 --> 00:41:41,386
Okay. Good luck.
I'm a huge fan.

861
00:41:53,431 --> 00:41:54,966
What is it, girl?

862
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,901
Is there trouble at the well?

863
00:42:01,740 --> 00:42:03,408
Big trouble.

864
00:42:03,441 --> 00:42:05,110
Behold!

865
00:42:05,143 --> 00:42:08,346
The head
of your precious queen,

866
00:42:08,380 --> 00:42:09,381
Furiosa!

867
00:42:10,515 --> 00:42:12,350
I have the Wolverine!

868
00:42:12,384 --> 00:42:15,553
I alone control her!

869
00:42:15,587 --> 00:42:17,889
You come for me,

870
00:42:17,922 --> 00:42:20,425
you come for her.

871
00:42:22,027 --> 00:42:23,928
So sorry.
I know it's pronounced "him."

872
00:42:23,962 --> 00:42:25,830
I'm gender blind.
It's my cross to bear.

873
00:42:25,864 --> 00:42:27,299
Who's next?

874
00:42:27,332 --> 00:42:28,466
Toad!

875
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:29,801
You're up.

876
00:42:36,808 --> 00:42:37,842
Uh-oh.

877
00:42:37,876 --> 00:42:39,244
-Oh, holy sh--
-Fuck.

878
00:42:50,588 --> 00:42:52,090
God of Thunder.

879
00:42:55,894 --> 00:42:57,429
How long was I asleep?

880
00:42:57,462 --> 00:42:59,097
Not all of you was asleep.

881
00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:00,732
Don't bother.

882
00:43:00,766 --> 00:43:03,034
They're very thorough.

883
00:43:03,068 --> 00:43:05,303
If you know where we are,
start talking.

884
00:43:05,904 --> 00:43:07,572
You're in The Void.

885
00:43:07,605 --> 00:43:09,708
Think of it as purgatory.

886
00:43:09,741 --> 00:43:12,077
Reed called it
a metaphysical junkyard.

887
00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:13,678
Where anything useless goes

888
00:43:13,712 --> 00:43:15,914
before it gets
annihilated forever.

889
00:43:15,947 --> 00:43:18,784
And where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice

890
00:43:18,818 --> 00:43:19,951
with the rest
of the multiverse.

891
00:43:19,984 --> 00:43:21,720
-Like you?
-And you.

892
00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:23,254
What does
the annihilating?

893
00:43:23,722 --> 00:43:24,757
Alioth.

894
00:43:24,790 --> 00:43:26,224
Alioth is in this thing?

895
00:43:26,257 --> 00:43:28,326
From <i>Loki,</i>
Season 1, Episode 5?

896
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,528
Everyone here
is on the run from Alioth.

897
00:43:31,062 --> 00:43:32,731
Most don't make it.

898
00:43:32,765 --> 00:43:34,800
There's a resistance, though.

899
00:43:34,834 --> 00:43:37,869
Other people like us
that managed to survive.

900
00:43:37,902 --> 00:43:39,270
They're hidin' out
in the borderlands,

901
00:43:39,304 --> 00:43:41,774
trying to find a way
the fuck outta here.

902
00:43:41,807 --> 00:43:43,174
Then that's where we go.

903
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:45,176
"We"? Us? A team?

904
00:43:45,210 --> 00:43:47,245
The answer is yes.
Shake on it.

905
00:43:47,847 --> 00:43:49,080
Fuck! You nicked it.

906
00:43:49,114 --> 00:43:51,149
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.

907
00:43:51,182 --> 00:43:53,351
These "others" can help us
get back to the TVA.

908
00:43:53,385 --> 00:43:54,419
Make 'em fix things.

909
00:43:56,654 --> 00:43:58,123
Something funny, bub?

910
00:43:58,156 --> 00:43:59,924
She might have somethin'
to say about that.

911
00:43:59,958 --> 00:44:01,226
Who's "she"?

912
00:44:02,494 --> 00:44:03,695
In The Void,

913
00:44:03,728 --> 00:44:05,463
you're either food for Alioth

914
00:44:06,097 --> 00:44:08,133
or you work for her.

915
00:45:20,472 --> 00:45:23,508
Huh.
Paul Rudd finally aged.

916
00:45:23,541 --> 00:45:25,310
Oh, you must be
this year's Juggernaut.

917
00:45:25,343 --> 00:45:27,078
-Thank you.
-I'd keep your voices down.

918
00:45:27,111 --> 00:45:28,513
She don't like the chatter.

919
00:45:28,546 --> 00:45:29,747
She's gonna love you.

920
00:45:45,865 --> 00:45:47,599
Is it...
Is that Charles?

921
00:45:47,632 --> 00:45:49,869
Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us!

922
00:45:49,902 --> 00:45:51,236
That's not Chuck.

923
00:45:51,269 --> 00:45:52,470
Ah, shit.

924
00:45:53,839 --> 00:45:55,340
Oh, ableism. Great.

925
00:45:55,373 --> 00:45:57,877
That's not gonna go over well
with the woke mob.

926
00:45:57,910 --> 00:45:59,945
A Wolverine.

927
00:45:59,979 --> 00:46:02,413
I wondered when
I'd get one of you.

928
00:46:03,014 --> 00:46:04,249
You're one of Xavier's.

929
00:46:04,282 --> 00:46:05,951
You-You know him?
You know Chuck?

930
00:46:05,985 --> 00:46:07,452
Oh, I knew him.

931
00:46:07,485 --> 00:46:08,888
We shared a womb.

932
00:46:08,921 --> 00:46:11,089
Tried to strangle
the sly little fellow

933
00:46:11,122 --> 00:46:12,557
with my umbilical cord.

934
00:46:12,590 --> 00:46:16,027
Amen. I've never
loved roommates. Mine's blind.

935
00:46:16,060 --> 00:46:17,729
Except she can see cocaine.

936
00:46:17,763 --> 00:46:19,197
For some... reason.

937
00:46:19,230 --> 00:46:22,367
You want to chime in,
Your Majesty? I'm dying here.

938
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,401
Who are you?

939
00:46:23,434 --> 00:46:26,437
Charles Xavier's twin,
Cassandra Nova.

940
00:46:26,471 --> 00:46:28,106
-Bullshit!
-I was an anal birth.

941
00:46:28,139 --> 00:46:30,876
Hmm. You two are cute.

942
00:46:30,910 --> 00:46:32,443
I have a good feeling
about this.

943
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,381
And I've been trying to catch

944
00:46:36,414 --> 00:46:38,483
this little firefly for years.

945
00:46:39,117 --> 00:46:40,786
Haven't I, Johnny?

946
00:46:40,819 --> 00:46:44,188
Aw... You picked the wrong
time to make new friends.

947
00:46:44,222 --> 00:46:46,591
Oh, Johnny told us
all about you.

948
00:46:46,624 --> 00:46:48,159
-Maybe shut up now.
-Yeah, maybe don't--

949
00:46:48,192 --> 00:46:49,260
We're just talkin' here.

950
00:46:49,294 --> 00:46:50,428
Yeah, Johnny told us

951
00:46:50,461 --> 00:46:52,630
you're a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole.

952
00:46:52,664 --> 00:46:56,301
His words, not mine.
Hellbent on domination
and pain.

953
00:46:57,268 --> 00:46:58,837
You said all that about me?

954
00:46:58,871 --> 00:47:00,572
No! No! I don't...

955
00:47:00,605 --> 00:47:02,841
-I didn't say any of that!
-Sticks and stones, Johnny!

956
00:47:04,342 --> 00:47:06,344
Don't let her intimidate you.

957
00:47:06,377 --> 00:47:08,246
It's like you said
in the convoy.

958
00:47:08,279 --> 00:47:10,214
This finger-lickin'
dead-inside

959
00:47:10,248 --> 00:47:13,151
pixie slab of third rate
dime-store nut-milk

960
00:47:13,184 --> 00:47:15,020
can eat your delicious
cinnamon ring

961
00:47:15,054 --> 00:47:17,155
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.

962
00:47:17,188 --> 00:47:19,257
Okay. I have never said
any of those words

963
00:47:19,290 --> 00:47:21,426
-in my entire life!
-Ha! The modesty.

964
00:47:21,459 --> 00:47:23,461
People think
I'm a shit talker.

965
00:47:23,494 --> 00:47:24,596
But this guy...

966
00:47:24,629 --> 00:47:25,730
Next level.

967
00:47:25,764 --> 00:47:27,900
What? This... I... We...

968
00:47:27,933 --> 00:47:29,267
I don't even know
what half of that means!

969
00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:31,036
-This... I...
-My hat's off to you, sir.

970
00:47:31,070 --> 00:47:32,103
-Truly.
-What? This...

971
00:47:32,136 --> 00:47:34,105
I didn't... He's...
That's... I...

972
00:47:34,138 --> 00:47:35,774
I... I don't--

973
00:47:40,846 --> 00:47:41,947
Not my favorite Chris.

974
00:47:41,981 --> 00:47:43,348
You stupid piece of shit.

975
00:47:43,381 --> 00:47:44,449
You just got him
fucking killed!

976
00:47:44,482 --> 00:47:46,351
Hey!
We're all grieving!

977
00:47:46,384 --> 00:47:48,653
PS, do you know what
he was doing to the budget?

978
00:47:51,189 --> 00:47:53,759
Alioth is hungry.

979
00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,460
There's been
some kind of mistake.

980
00:47:55,493 --> 00:47:57,462
Big yellow is
a back-up Anchor Being,

981
00:47:57,495 --> 00:48:00,131
and I'm Marvel Jesus.
MJ, if you're nasty.

982
00:48:00,164 --> 00:48:01,199
This may be hard to hear,

983
00:48:01,232 --> 00:48:02,935
but there's
another British villain

984
00:48:02,968 --> 00:48:04,069
who's gonna destroy
my universe,

985
00:48:04,103 --> 00:48:05,236
and I'm gonna stop him.

986
00:48:05,269 --> 00:48:06,772
Oh, honey,
you don't really strike me

987
00:48:06,805 --> 00:48:08,439
as the world-saving type.

988
00:48:10,843 --> 00:48:12,677
Did I hit a nerve?

989
00:48:12,710 --> 00:48:14,412
I didn't want it
to come to this.

990
00:48:15,047 --> 00:48:16,081
Either you help us

991
00:48:16,115 --> 00:48:17,448
or my friend here
is gonna sing

992
00:48:17,482 --> 00:48:19,283
the entire second act
of <i>Music Man</i>

993
00:48:19,317 --> 00:48:20,551
with zero warm-up.

994
00:48:21,252 --> 00:48:22,520
Where'd you get the chair?

995
00:48:22,553 --> 00:48:23,588
Well, once in a while,

996
00:48:23,621 --> 00:48:25,657
I do get a Charles
through here.

997
00:48:25,690 --> 00:48:27,092
Never mine, though.

998
00:48:27,126 --> 00:48:30,294
No. He didn't care to find me.

999
00:48:30,328 --> 00:48:33,899
Gen Z
and their trauma-bragging!

1000
00:48:33,932 --> 00:48:36,869
Can't you just stuff it down,
turn it into accomplishment

1001
00:48:36,902 --> 00:48:38,503
or cancer like the rest of us?

1002
00:48:38,536 --> 00:48:40,371
But I'm not like
the rest of you.

1003
00:48:40,405 --> 00:48:42,340
Except maybe the Wolverine.

1004
00:48:42,373 --> 00:48:45,010
Now, we could be
truly terrifying together.

1005
00:48:45,044 --> 00:48:46,344
You're that scary, huh?

1006
00:48:46,377 --> 00:48:48,680
The TVA certainly thought so.

1007
00:48:48,713 --> 00:48:51,349
They sent me here
before I could walk.

1008
00:48:51,382 --> 00:48:52,851
And you know,
it's the best thing

1009
00:48:52,885 --> 00:48:54,652
that ever happened to me.

1010
00:48:54,686 --> 00:48:55,553
I love it here.

1011
00:48:55,586 --> 00:48:56,922
You live
in a garbage dump.

1012
00:48:56,955 --> 00:49:00,324
I think we both know who lives
in the garbage dump.

1013
00:49:00,358 --> 00:49:02,193
The Void is a paradise.

1014
00:49:02,226 --> 00:49:06,330
I can wield my power here
without shame.

1015
00:49:06,364 --> 00:49:08,332
Unfortunately I had
no Charles Xavier

1016
00:49:08,366 --> 00:49:10,334
to teach me temperance.

1017
00:49:10,368 --> 00:49:12,336
What about your Charles?

1018
00:49:12,370 --> 00:49:13,671
Did he protect you?

1019
00:49:14,305 --> 00:49:16,474
Did he make you feel safe?

1020
00:49:16,507 --> 00:49:18,443
We're mutants.
We're never safe.

1021
00:49:26,551 --> 00:49:27,585
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

1022
00:49:27,618 --> 00:49:29,387
I don't...
I don't want the smoke.

1023
00:49:29,420 --> 00:49:30,588
I don't have
any beef with you.

1024
00:49:30,621 --> 00:49:32,223
I just want
to save my friends.

1025
00:49:32,256 --> 00:49:33,524
I just... I want to go home.

1026
00:49:33,558 --> 00:49:35,393
Well, the thing is,
I could get you home.

1027
00:49:35,426 --> 00:49:37,196
-Good.
-But I don't want to.

1028
00:49:37,228 --> 00:49:39,497
Not good.

1029
00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:44,435
What do you want, Wade Wilson?

1030
00:49:44,469 --> 00:49:46,972
Your...
fingers are inside me,

1031
00:49:47,005 --> 00:49:48,239
but not in a good way.

1032
00:49:48,272 --> 00:49:51,242
My brother could enter
one's mind with a thought.

1033
00:49:51,275 --> 00:49:53,578
I have to get my hands dirty.

1034
00:49:56,647 --> 00:49:57,916
I've got you.

1035
00:50:00,251 --> 00:50:01,652
<i>I've got you...</i>

1036
00:50:04,056 --> 00:50:05,289
<i>What do you mean?</i>

1037
00:50:06,925 --> 00:50:09,762
I can't... I can't reach you.
You're not here.

1038
00:50:09,795 --> 00:50:11,462
I'm right here.

1039
00:50:11,496 --> 00:50:14,465
-No, you're not. I can't...
-I'm right here.

1040
00:50:14,499 --> 00:50:16,701
Then show me.
You got to do something.

1041
00:50:17,936 --> 00:50:19,370
Show you what?

1042
00:50:19,403 --> 00:50:23,274
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.

1043
00:50:23,307 --> 00:50:27,345
<i>Ever since they turned you</i>
<i>down, you took a knee.</i>

1044
00:50:28,013 --> 00:50:29,982
Baby, you never got back up.

1045
00:50:32,151 --> 00:50:34,019
I know you're
going through something.

1046
00:50:34,052 --> 00:50:36,922
Let me go through it with you.

1047
00:50:36,955 --> 00:50:39,357
-Your crazy matches my crazy.
-Your crazy matches my crazy.

1048
00:50:42,460 --> 00:50:43,862
Where'd you go?

1049
00:50:44,362 --> 00:50:45,831
Oh, my God.

1050
00:50:48,834 --> 00:50:50,535
<i>You just say it. Okay?</i>

1051
00:50:51,236 --> 00:50:52,271
<i>Say, "I don't want you.</i>

1052
00:50:52,303 --> 00:50:54,739
<i>"I don't want to be with you."</i>

1053
00:50:54,773 --> 00:50:56,241
<i>Go ahead. Say it.</i>
<i>Say... Say, "I don't..."</i>

1054
00:50:56,275 --> 00:50:57,708
Say it.
You don't wanna be with me.

1055
00:50:57,742 --> 00:50:59,211
<i>Tell me that</i>
<i>and I'll walk away.</i>

1056
00:50:59,244 --> 00:51:00,279
<i>Say, "I don't want you."</i>

1057
00:51:06,450 --> 00:51:08,120
Fuck...

1058
00:51:08,153 --> 00:51:10,789
You'll never fucking matter.

1059
00:51:14,692 --> 00:51:16,527
What?

1060
00:51:16,561 --> 00:51:19,363
-You'll never fucking matter.
-Fucking matter.

1061
00:51:25,304 --> 00:51:27,940
-<i>You'll...</i>
<i>-You'll...</i>

1062
00:51:27,973 --> 00:51:29,908
-never...
<i>-never...</i>

1063
00:51:29,942 --> 00:51:31,176
-fucking...
-fucking...

1064
00:51:31,210 --> 00:51:34,046
-matter.
<i>-matter...</i>

1065
00:51:36,081 --> 00:51:37,415
She never said that.

1066
00:51:37,448 --> 00:51:38,549
No.

1067
00:51:38,583 --> 00:51:40,518
But I bet she thought it.

1068
00:51:41,619 --> 00:51:44,355
You are so mean!

1069
00:51:44,388 --> 00:51:45,523
My brain could taste
your fingers,

1070
00:51:45,556 --> 00:51:47,692
and they tasted like hate!

1071
00:51:47,725 --> 00:51:50,428
And where in God's name
is the intimacy coordinator?

1072
00:51:50,461 --> 00:51:53,265
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.

1073
00:51:53,298 --> 00:51:55,700
And long before you came here.

1074
00:51:57,102 --> 00:51:58,136
This is Baby Knife.

1075
00:51:58,170 --> 00:51:59,437
She's gonna fuck you
in the face now.

1076
00:51:59,470 --> 00:52:00,738
If you want to kill me,

1077
00:52:00,772 --> 00:52:02,640
it's going to take
more than a little blade.

1078
00:52:02,673 --> 00:52:04,475
How about six?

1079
00:52:04,508 --> 00:52:08,180
My boy's wicked strong.

1080
00:52:08,213 --> 00:52:09,848
That's my big boy.

1081
00:52:09,882 --> 00:52:11,350
Yes, you are.

1082
00:52:17,421 --> 00:52:18,991
Well, this has been fun.

1083
00:52:19,024 --> 00:52:21,293
But the big guy needs to eat,
and the rent is due.

1084
00:52:24,729 --> 00:52:25,764
By the way,

1085
00:52:25,797 --> 00:52:27,232
you're the rent.

1086
00:52:46,417 --> 00:52:49,254
Come on! Fuck!

1087
00:52:49,288 --> 00:52:50,454
You comin' or what?

1088
00:52:50,488 --> 00:52:51,689
Coming!

1089
00:53:11,676 --> 00:53:12,743
What you thinkin' 'bout?

1090
00:53:12,778 --> 00:53:14,445
-Get the fuck off of me!
-Shh, shh, shh.

1091
00:53:14,478 --> 00:53:16,580
-Almost done.
-Almost done what?

1092
00:53:16,614 --> 00:53:18,516
Getting my knife out
of your buttocks,

1093
00:53:18,549 --> 00:53:20,285
-pervert!
-Aah! Fuck!

1094
00:53:20,319 --> 00:53:22,187
Get your mind out of my pants!

1095
00:53:22,220 --> 00:53:24,555
-I'm telling Blake.
-New rules.

1096
00:53:24,923 --> 00:53:25,791
I talk now.

1097
00:53:25,824 --> 00:53:27,359
That's gonna be very hard
on the audience.

1098
00:53:27,392 --> 00:53:29,995
Shut the fuck up!

1099
00:53:30,028 --> 00:53:31,029
Let me fuckin' think.

1100
00:53:31,063 --> 00:53:33,131
Now we gotta get back
to Paradox, right?

1101
00:53:35,067 --> 00:53:36,667
Right?

1102
00:53:36,701 --> 00:53:38,904
<i>Je m'excuse.</i> Am I allowed
to speak now or--

1103
00:53:38,937 --> 00:53:41,206
Just nod, asshole.

1104
00:53:42,908 --> 00:53:43,909
Right.

1105
00:53:43,942 --> 00:53:45,476
Then we find the others
that poor kid, Johnny,

1106
00:53:45,509 --> 00:53:46,744
was talking about
before you got him killed!

1107
00:53:46,778 --> 00:53:48,579
"Poor kid."
He's, like, 50!

1108
00:53:48,612 --> 00:53:49,647
Yeah, if there's
a chance they know

1109
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,316
how to get out of here,
we find 'em.

1110
00:53:51,350 --> 00:53:53,318
And make those TVA fuckers
fix my shit

1111
00:53:53,352 --> 00:53:54,652
like you fucking promised!

1112
00:53:54,685 --> 00:53:56,154
I smell quest.

1113
00:53:58,957 --> 00:53:59,958
I smell food.

1114
00:54:03,095 --> 00:54:06,765
So what made you finally wear
an honest-to-God costume?

1115
00:54:08,333 --> 00:54:10,501
Mine's red
so they can't see me bleed.

1116
00:54:10,534 --> 00:54:13,372
But I could see how
yellow would be useful too.

1117
00:54:13,405 --> 00:54:15,040
Have you been checked
for ADHD?

1118
00:54:15,073 --> 00:54:16,375
Mm-mm.

1119
00:54:16,408 --> 00:54:18,509
But I've had several STDs,

1120
00:54:18,542 --> 00:54:20,711
which were probably caused
by ADHD.

1121
00:54:20,745 --> 00:54:21,813
Fuck!

1122
00:54:22,713 --> 00:54:24,316
What are you looking for?

1123
00:54:24,349 --> 00:54:25,917
Oh. Thank fuck.

1124
00:54:26,985 --> 00:54:28,854
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rubbing alcohol.

1125
00:54:28,887 --> 00:54:30,389
You don't want to drink--
Oh, yeah.

1126
00:54:30,422 --> 00:54:31,823
There you go. Fuck that liver.

1127
00:54:33,291 --> 00:54:35,160
Good. Okay.

1128
00:54:36,194 --> 00:54:37,295
What the fuck are those?

1129
00:54:37,929 --> 00:54:38,797
Oh.

1130
00:54:38,830 --> 00:54:40,766
Back in civilian life,
I wear a toupee,

1131
00:54:40,799 --> 00:54:42,501
but nobody knows.

1132
00:54:44,936 --> 00:54:46,537
Everybody knows.

1133
00:54:48,974 --> 00:54:50,541
Wanna talk about
what's haunting you,

1134
00:54:50,574 --> 00:54:52,811
or should we wait
for a third act flashback?

1135
00:54:52,844 --> 00:54:54,946
Ah... Go fuck yourself.

1136
00:54:58,216 --> 00:54:59,217
You know...

1137
00:55:00,786 --> 00:55:03,121
in my world, you're...

1138
00:55:04,356 --> 00:55:05,556
You're well regarded.

1139
00:55:05,589 --> 00:55:07,225
Yeah, well, not in mine.

1140
00:55:08,193 --> 00:55:10,128
They don't like me much
in mine either.

1141
00:55:10,162 --> 00:55:11,562
You don't say.

1142
00:55:11,595 --> 00:55:13,664
I wanted to be something,
you know. I...

1143
00:55:14,533 --> 00:55:16,268
Shit, I wanted
to be an Avenger.

1144
00:55:16,301 --> 00:55:18,702
-Fuck the Avengers.
-Yeah.

1145
00:55:18,736 --> 00:55:21,006
I didn't make the cut, though.
Same with the X-Men...

1146
00:55:22,941 --> 00:55:24,009
When my girlfriend left me,

1147
00:55:24,042 --> 00:55:25,609
-and I just--
-You had a girlfriend?

1148
00:55:25,977 --> 00:55:27,012
Yeah.

1149
00:55:27,412 --> 00:55:28,780
Vanessa.

1150
00:55:28,814 --> 00:55:30,348
When we met, she was a dancer.

1151
00:55:31,516 --> 00:55:32,716
We had a whole life.

1152
00:55:33,952 --> 00:55:35,554
It was good.

1153
00:55:35,586 --> 00:55:37,789
But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah.

1154
00:55:38,857 --> 00:55:40,658
Fucked that right up.

1155
00:55:41,359 --> 00:55:42,494
But you,

1156
00:55:42,527 --> 00:55:43,862
you were an X-Man.

1157
00:55:43,895 --> 00:55:45,964
Fuck that.
You were the X-Man. You...

1158
00:55:47,698 --> 00:55:49,034
The Wolverine.

1159
00:55:51,336 --> 00:55:52,971
He was a hero in my world.

1160
00:55:54,738 --> 00:55:55,941
Yeah, well...

1161
00:55:57,109 --> 00:55:58,243
he ain't shit in mine.

1162
00:56:03,681 --> 00:56:06,284
You said, "Logan was a hero."
What happened?

1163
00:56:07,185 --> 00:56:08,186
He died.

1164
00:56:08,854 --> 00:56:10,188
How?

1165
00:56:10,222 --> 00:56:12,824
Well, technically,
you were chest-fucked
by a tree, but,

1166
00:56:12,858 --> 00:56:14,625
really, you just
ran out of batteries

1167
00:56:14,658 --> 00:56:16,895
-trying to save someone.
-Who?

1168
00:56:16,928 --> 00:56:18,797
The shitheels
that grew her in a lab

1169
00:56:18,830 --> 00:56:20,365
called her "X-23." But...

1170
00:56:21,166 --> 00:56:22,868
she was just a kid.

1171
00:56:22,901 --> 00:56:26,538
A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you.

1172
00:56:26,571 --> 00:56:28,340
You died trying to save her.

1173
00:56:28,373 --> 00:56:29,841
It was beautiful.

1174
00:56:29,875 --> 00:56:32,844
Look, <i>mijo,</i>
I know you're hurtin'.

1175
00:56:32,878 --> 00:56:35,280
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate,

1176
00:56:35,313 --> 00:56:38,550
Blind Al, always says that
pain teaches us who we are.

1177
00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:40,252
Sometimes we need to listen
to that pain

1178
00:56:40,285 --> 00:56:41,319
instead of running from it.

1179
00:56:41,353 --> 00:56:42,988
-Holy shit.
-Yeah, she's wise.

1180
00:56:43,021 --> 00:56:45,624
No, no, no. That's her name?
You call her "Blind Al"?

1181
00:56:45,656 --> 00:56:46,858
Well, she's blind.

1182
00:57:24,396 --> 00:57:25,696
Look at you!

1183
00:57:25,729 --> 00:57:26,831
She's coming with us.

1184
00:57:26,865 --> 00:57:28,767
-No, she's not. Fuck no!
-Oh, yes, she is.

1185
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:30,202
-Oh, yes--
-Sorry!

1186
00:57:30,235 --> 00:57:32,938
Sorry about that!

1187
00:57:32,971 --> 00:57:35,207
Come here, girl!

1188
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:36,508
Who are you?

1189
00:57:36,541 --> 00:57:37,876
Oh, I'm Deadpool.

1190
00:57:37,909 --> 00:57:39,678
And I guess
you're Deadpool too.

1191
00:57:39,710 --> 00:57:41,780
But in here, everybody
calls me "Nicepool."

1192
00:57:41,813 --> 00:57:43,481
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Ladypool.

1193
00:57:43,515 --> 00:57:44,883
She is gorgeous.

1194
00:57:44,916 --> 00:57:47,052
-She just had a baby too.
-And...

1195
00:57:47,085 --> 00:57:48,019
Can't even tell.

1196
00:57:48,053 --> 00:57:49,521
I don't think you're supposed
to say that.

1197
00:57:49,554 --> 00:57:50,989
That's okay.

1198
00:57:51,022 --> 00:57:52,624
I identify as a feminist.

1199
00:57:52,657 --> 00:57:53,858
Right.

1200
00:57:55,493 --> 00:57:56,795
Are those gold-plated,

1201
00:57:56,828 --> 00:57:58,964
.50 caliber Desert Eagle
pistoleros?

1202
00:57:58,997 --> 00:57:59,998
'Course.

1203
00:58:00,031 --> 00:58:01,366
To match my ear huggie.

1204
00:58:01,399 --> 00:58:02,701
Can I have 'em?

1205
00:58:02,733 --> 00:58:04,636
Over my dead body.

1206
00:58:04,669 --> 00:58:05,904
You're fun.

1207
00:58:05,937 --> 00:58:08,406
And I guess you've
already met Mary Puppins.

1208
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,208
AKA Dogpool.

1209
00:58:10,242 --> 00:58:11,576
Careful where you put
your hands.

1210
00:58:11,610 --> 00:58:14,346
She's ninety percent g-spot,
and she'll let you know it.

1211
00:58:14,379 --> 00:58:18,049
You let this little flirt out
of your sight for one second

1212
00:58:18,083 --> 00:58:20,218
and she starts shopping
for a new papa.

1213
00:58:20,252 --> 00:58:22,387
If you can't be
a responsible pet owner,

1214
00:58:22,420 --> 00:58:25,190
then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn.

1215
00:58:25,223 --> 00:58:27,459
Guilty on all charges,
Your Honor.

1216
00:58:27,492 --> 00:58:28,526
Shan't happen again.

1217
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,028
Why are you so nice?

1218
00:58:30,061 --> 00:58:31,663
Oh, it costs nothing
to be kind.

1219
00:58:31,696 --> 00:58:33,498
Shutting the fuck up
is also free.

1220
00:58:33,531 --> 00:58:34,966
<i>-Caliente.</i>
-This is Logan.

1221
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,134
He's usually shirtless,

1222
00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:38,069
but he's let himself go
since the divorce.

1223
00:58:39,337 --> 00:58:40,972
Where's your mask?

1224
00:58:43,541 --> 00:58:44,576
Come on, guys.

1225
00:58:46,144 --> 00:58:47,112
Ugh, this guy.

1226
00:58:47,145 --> 00:58:48,680
We're looking
for a group of survivors.

1227
00:58:48,713 --> 00:58:49,814
Oh, they're out there.

1228
00:58:49,848 --> 00:58:51,616
Yeah, but merc to merc,
you better hope

1229
00:58:51,650 --> 00:58:53,418
that you don't run
into the Deadpool corps.

1230
00:58:53,451 --> 00:58:54,419
Yeah, they're crazy.

1231
00:58:54,452 --> 00:58:56,121
They will chop you up
into a thousand pieces

1232
00:58:56,154 --> 00:58:57,422
and hide you
all over The Void.

1233
00:58:57,455 --> 00:58:59,424
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,

1234
00:58:59,457 --> 00:59:01,293
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.

1235
00:59:01,326 --> 00:59:02,594
Look, we're headed
for the borderlands.

1236
00:59:02,627 --> 00:59:03,895
You know where it is?

1237
00:59:03,928 --> 00:59:06,698
Yeah, that...
that's 12 klicks due west.

1238
00:59:06,731 --> 00:59:08,033
I can lend you my ride,
if you like.

1239
00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:10,135
It would be my honor.

1240
00:59:13,538 --> 00:59:15,707
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.

1241
00:59:15,740 --> 00:59:17,842
Uh-uh. What the...
No! No!

1242
00:59:17,876 --> 00:59:18,910
Just get in the car.

1243
00:59:18,943 --> 00:59:20,111
This isn't a car.

1244
00:59:20,145 --> 00:59:22,614
This is
a Honda fuckin' Odyssey.

1245
00:59:22,647 --> 00:59:24,649
Throttle response
sucks a cock.

1246
00:59:24,683 --> 00:59:25,884
Dated infotainment system.

1247
00:59:25,917 --> 00:59:27,652
When Honda saw
that untreated chlamydia

1248
00:59:27,686 --> 00:59:28,853
was makin' a comeback,

1249
00:59:28,887 --> 00:59:31,589
they invented
the Honda Odyssey to compete.

1250
00:59:31,623 --> 00:59:34,726
Get in the fucking car.

1251
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,695
She'll get you there
safe and sound.

1252
00:59:36,728 --> 00:59:38,963
Old Betsy always does.

1253
00:59:38,997 --> 00:59:41,399
You're gonna have to
give me my dog back, though.

1254
00:59:41,433 --> 00:59:42,768
I know. Listen.

1255
00:59:42,802 --> 00:59:44,302
Yes, child.

1256
00:59:44,336 --> 00:59:46,638
If you ever wanna give her up,
or if she needs a new home,

1257
00:59:46,671 --> 00:59:48,673
or if something
should happen to you,

1258
00:59:48,707 --> 00:59:49,908
I'd love to be her papa.

1259
00:59:49,941 --> 00:59:52,344
What would
ever happen to me?

1260
00:59:52,377 --> 00:59:53,511
Lots of stuff.

1261
00:59:57,082 --> 00:59:58,450
-Jesus.
-No!

1262
00:59:58,483 --> 01:00:00,285
We're running away.

1263
01:00:00,318 --> 01:00:02,087
-Give me that.
-The corn was too dense, girl!

1264
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,154
-There.
-Come here!

1265
01:00:03,188 --> 01:00:04,622
-Fuck!
-Hello!

1266
01:00:06,491 --> 01:00:07,625
Bye.

1267
01:00:33,451 --> 01:00:34,986
Okay,
I'm just gonna ask...

1268
01:00:35,019 --> 01:00:36,154
What's with the suit?

1269
01:00:36,187 --> 01:00:37,889
First thing I did
when I flamed out,

1270
01:00:37,922 --> 01:00:38,990
-I took mine off.
-Drop it.

1271
01:00:39,023 --> 01:00:40,358
It's not that ugly.

1272
01:00:40,392 --> 01:00:41,993
-Stop talking about my suit.
-Did you make it yourself?

1273
01:00:42,026 --> 01:00:43,461
-Been there.
-Quit. Now.

1274
01:00:43,495 --> 01:00:46,564
The X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fuckin' bitches.

1275
01:00:46,598 --> 01:00:48,299
They are not your friends,
I'll tell you that.

1276
01:00:48,333 --> 01:00:50,836
Friends don't let friends
leave the house lookin' like

1277
01:00:50,870 --> 01:00:52,704
they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.

1278
01:00:52,737 --> 01:00:54,072
Shut the fuck up
about this, or--

1279
01:00:54,105 --> 01:00:56,207
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch
your frown lines, angel baby.

1280
01:00:56,241 --> 01:00:57,442
I'm just trying
to bond a little bit.

1281
01:00:57,475 --> 01:00:59,110
Yeah, well, then talk
about somethin' else.

1282
01:00:59,144 --> 01:01:00,145
Fine.

1283
01:01:03,581 --> 01:01:05,216
Pshew. Pshew, pshew.

1284
01:01:05,717 --> 01:01:06,819
Pshew!

1285
01:01:06,852 --> 01:01:09,421
-Stop it.
-Pshew.

1286
01:01:09,454 --> 01:01:11,089
If they can fix your world,
what's the first thing

1287
01:01:11,122 --> 01:01:12,223
you're gonna do
when you get out of here?

1288
01:01:12,257 --> 01:01:13,725
Get some
rubbing alcohol shots,

1289
01:01:13,759 --> 01:01:15,427
maybe a wiper fluid chaser?

1290
01:01:15,460 --> 01:01:17,228
-What did you say?
-I said when you get back,

1291
01:01:17,262 --> 01:01:18,496
what's the first thing
you're gonna do?

1292
01:01:18,530 --> 01:01:20,098
No, no, no. Before that.

1293
01:01:21,099 --> 01:01:23,034
If... they can fix your world?

1294
01:01:26,938 --> 01:01:28,506
What do you mean, "if"?

1295
01:01:29,107 --> 01:01:30,141
-I mean--
-You lied to me.

1296
01:01:30,175 --> 01:01:31,342
You don't have a fucking clue

1297
01:01:31,376 --> 01:01:33,044
if they can help me
fix things, do you?

1298
01:01:33,077 --> 01:01:34,712
No. I mean-- Ow!

1299
01:01:34,746 --> 01:01:37,382
Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!

1300
01:01:37,415 --> 01:01:40,452
-You lied!
-No! I made an educated wish!

1301
01:01:42,153 --> 01:01:43,621
Because I need you.

1302
01:01:44,589 --> 01:01:48,393
This. This is why. Right here.

1303
01:01:48,426 --> 01:01:50,328
'Cause if we don't do
something, they die.

1304
01:01:50,361 --> 01:01:52,597
I don't know anything
about saving worlds.

1305
01:01:52,630 --> 01:01:54,165
And why would I even care?

1306
01:01:54,199 --> 01:01:57,669
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.

1307
01:01:57,702 --> 01:01:59,504
It's only nine people,

1308
01:01:59,537 --> 01:02:02,942
and I have no idea
how to save it alone.

1309
01:02:02,974 --> 01:02:05,143
I know how to fuck people up
for money. But you,

1310
01:02:05,176 --> 01:02:07,045
you know how to save 'em!

1311
01:02:08,046 --> 01:02:09,214
At least
the other Wolverine did.

1312
01:02:10,482 --> 01:02:13,418
Fuck! I guess I'm stuck
with the worst one.

1313
01:02:13,451 --> 01:02:15,587
Did you say you made

1314
01:02:15,620 --> 01:02:18,958
an educated fucking wish?

1315
01:02:18,990 --> 01:02:21,192
They call me
"The Merc with the Mouth."

1316
01:02:21,226 --> 01:02:23,294
They don't call me
"Truthful Timmy,

1317
01:02:23,328 --> 01:02:25,330
"the Blowjob Queen
of Saskatoon."

1318
01:02:29,033 --> 01:02:30,235
One more word.

1319
01:02:31,202 --> 01:02:34,105
Please give me one.

1320
01:02:36,474 --> 01:02:37,609
Gubernatorial.

1321
01:02:37,642 --> 01:02:39,410
Oh, fuck!

1322
01:02:40,913 --> 01:02:42,447
You know what?
You're a fucking joke.

1323
01:02:44,082 --> 01:02:45,517
No wonder the Avengers
didn't take you.

1324
01:02:45,550 --> 01:02:48,419
Or the X-Men. And they'll take
fucking anyone.

1325
01:02:48,453 --> 01:02:49,855
I mean, you are

1326
01:02:49,889 --> 01:02:53,525
a ridiculous, immature,
half-wit moron.

1327
01:02:54,025 --> 01:02:55,895
I have never met

1328
01:02:55,928 --> 01:02:57,195
a sadder,

1329
01:02:57,228 --> 01:02:59,832
more attention-starved,
jabbering little prick

1330
01:02:59,865 --> 01:03:01,199
in my entire life.

1331
01:03:01,232 --> 01:03:03,301
And that says a lot,
'cause I've been alive

1332
01:03:03,334 --> 01:03:06,005
for more than
200 fuckin' years,

1333
01:03:06,037 --> 01:03:07,305
and I'll tell ya,

1334
01:03:07,338 --> 01:03:09,107
that bald chick
was right about one thing.

1335
01:03:09,140 --> 01:03:11,810
You will never save the world!

1336
01:03:11,844 --> 01:03:14,546
You couldn't even save
a relationship

1337
01:03:14,579 --> 01:03:16,381
with a goddamn stripper!

1338
01:03:16,414 --> 01:03:19,083
And motherfucker, I wish
I could say you'd die alone,

1339
01:03:19,117 --> 01:03:22,153
but it's one of God's
best jokes that you can't die,

1340
01:03:22,186 --> 01:03:23,789
except that's on all of us!

1341
01:03:27,860 --> 01:03:30,261
Oh, you got nothing to say,
Mouth?

1342
01:03:38,971 --> 01:03:40,705
I'm gonna fight you now.

1343
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,275
Oh, are you?

1344
01:03:54,352 --> 01:03:56,855
Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya?

1345
01:04:03,394 --> 01:04:04,629
Oh, you dirty bitch.

1346
01:04:19,812 --> 01:04:21,245
Whoo!

1347
01:04:37,562 --> 01:04:39,230
No, no, no!

1348
01:04:57,816 --> 01:04:59,384
Baby Knife!

1349
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,858
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.

1350
01:05:05,891 --> 01:05:07,258
Too bad you don't,
needle dick.

1351
01:05:07,291 --> 01:05:08,559
Oh, we're just
gettin' started, bub.

1352
01:05:13,197 --> 01:05:14,699
Oh, you... Fuck!

1353
01:06:07,152 --> 01:06:08,453
Thor!

1354
01:06:11,255 --> 01:06:12,290
Where are we?

1355
01:06:12,323 --> 01:06:15,761
No clue, but...
I like it here.

1356
01:06:23,267 --> 01:06:25,436
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

1357
01:07:13,986 --> 01:07:15,854
Okay.

1358
01:07:15,888 --> 01:07:18,957
Look at you... all.
You must be the others.

1359
01:07:19,590 --> 01:07:20,625
Terrific.

1360
01:07:20,658 --> 01:07:23,929
So just to refresh, you are

1361
01:07:23,962 --> 01:07:24,897
-Wonder--
-Elektra.

1362
01:07:24,930 --> 01:07:27,398
Elektra?
Yes. Who could forget?

1363
01:07:27,431 --> 01:07:30,568
And you. I was not expecting
to see you here.

1364
01:07:30,601 --> 01:07:32,303
I thought you were, you know,

1365
01:07:32,336 --> 01:07:33,872
retired.

1366
01:07:34,572 --> 01:07:35,573
Retarded?

1367
01:07:36,975 --> 01:07:38,010
"Retired."

1368
01:07:38,043 --> 01:07:39,077
I'm already in The Void.

1369
01:07:39,111 --> 01:07:40,279
I'm not trying
to get canceled again.

1370
01:07:40,311 --> 01:07:42,380
-I don't like you.
-You never did.

1371
01:07:43,748 --> 01:07:46,218
And who's this
succulent reminder

1372
01:07:46,251 --> 01:07:47,820
of my own inadequacies?

1373
01:07:47,853 --> 01:07:49,420
Look at you.

1374
01:07:49,453 --> 01:07:52,191
You look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye.

1375
01:07:52,224 --> 01:07:55,593
The name's Remy LeBeau,
<i>Le Diable Blanc.</i>

1376
01:07:55,626 --> 01:07:57,029
But you can call me
the Gambit.

1377
01:07:57,062 --> 01:07:58,864
It's been a while
since I've seen <i>Sling Blade.</i>

1378
01:07:58,897 --> 01:07:59,898
Hit me again.

1379
01:08:00,598 --> 01:08:01,767
They call me the Gambit.

1380
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,135
Do they?
Are you sure you didn't

1381
01:08:03,168 --> 01:08:04,368
just really,
really want them to,

1382
01:08:04,402 --> 01:08:05,771
but it never quite worked out?

1383
01:08:08,406 --> 01:08:10,843
You know, we never had
a Wolverine up in here.

1384
01:08:11,509 --> 01:08:12,510
But I can tell you now,

1385
01:08:12,543 --> 01:08:14,545
it's just a common courtesy
to ask

1386
01:08:14,579 --> 01:08:16,315
before you drink up
all of my liquor.

1387
01:08:16,347 --> 01:08:18,583
Well, it's a good thing
I don't give a fuck.

1388
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:22,921
Fuck.

1389
01:08:25,389 --> 01:08:27,025
So embarrassing.

1390
01:08:28,093 --> 01:08:29,161
Boo, boo, boo.

1391
01:08:29,194 --> 01:08:30,295
Well, now that
that's settled, look,

1392
01:08:30,329 --> 01:08:31,729
we came a long way
to find you three.

1393
01:08:31,763 --> 01:08:33,497
-There's four of us.
-There's four...

1394
01:08:33,531 --> 01:08:35,566
Hey, wait. Is it Magneto?

1395
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:37,668
Dear sweet God in heaven,
let it be Magneto,

1396
01:08:37,702 --> 01:08:38,736
-because with him--
-He's dead.

1397
01:08:38,770 --> 01:08:40,806
Fuck!
Now Disney gets cheap?

1398
01:08:40,839 --> 01:08:42,875
It's like Pinocchio jammed
his face in my ass

1399
01:08:42,908 --> 01:08:45,244
-and started lying like crazy.
-Ooh, you nasty!

1400
01:08:45,277 --> 01:08:47,678
<i>Mon petit rouge. Laissez</i>
<i>les bons temps rouler, huh?</i>

1401
01:08:47,712 --> 01:08:50,581
Not a single word.
What do you do exactly?

1402
01:08:50,615 --> 01:08:53,185
Charge the playing cards
and make 'em go boom!

1403
01:08:53,218 --> 01:08:55,486
Your power's
close-up magic. That's good.

1404
01:08:55,519 --> 01:08:57,155
We're not totally
fucked at all.

1405
01:08:57,189 --> 01:08:58,556
So who brought us here?

1406
01:08:58,589 --> 01:08:59,858
That would be me.

1407
01:09:10,135 --> 01:09:11,402
Don't make me regret it.

1408
01:09:13,005 --> 01:09:16,507
Holy shit. Logan.
That's her. That's X-23.

1409
01:09:16,540 --> 01:09:18,143
She's the one
I told you about.

1410
01:09:22,580 --> 01:09:24,749
Hey, how did you all get stuck
in The Void?

1411
01:09:24,783 --> 01:09:26,385
There was a knock at the door.

1412
01:09:26,417 --> 01:09:28,452
-TVA sent me here.
-Me, too.

1413
01:09:28,486 --> 01:09:29,553
Well, maybe I was born here.

1414
01:09:29,587 --> 01:09:30,856
It's... It's hard
to know for sure.

1415
01:09:30,889 --> 01:09:34,458
TVA decided
our universe was dying.

1416
01:09:34,492 --> 01:09:36,594
And I never even got a chance
to fight for it.

1417
01:09:39,264 --> 01:09:41,432
People like us
don't go quietly.

1418
01:09:41,465 --> 01:09:43,668
TVA knows that,
so they took us out.

1419
01:09:43,701 --> 01:09:46,104
The answer is yes. I'm in.

1420
01:09:46,138 --> 01:09:48,073
-In what?
-A team.

1421
01:09:48,106 --> 01:09:50,309
Me, you, you, and me.
All of us together.

1422
01:09:50,342 --> 01:09:51,742
Let's get the fuck
out of this place.

1423
01:09:51,777 --> 01:09:53,511
Don't listen to him.
He's a fucking liar!

1424
01:09:53,544 --> 01:09:55,347
It was an educated wish!

1425
01:09:55,380 --> 01:09:56,982
-Ha!
-Look.

1426
01:09:58,417 --> 01:10:00,385
We've been inside
Cassandra's lair.

1427
01:10:00,419 --> 01:10:02,854
The only way out of The Void
is through her.

1428
01:10:02,888 --> 01:10:04,790
She can get us home.
She told us.

1429
01:10:04,823 --> 01:10:07,359
Wait a minute,
you've been inside?

1430
01:10:07,392 --> 01:10:09,127
-And you made it out alive?
-Bullshit.

1431
01:10:09,161 --> 01:10:10,929
-Nobody's ever done that.
-We did.

1432
01:10:10,963 --> 01:10:13,564
Every time one of us
has gone up against her,

1433
01:10:13,899 --> 01:10:14,900
they die.

1434
01:10:14,933 --> 01:10:17,702
The Punisher, the Quicksilver,
the Daredevil.

1435
01:10:17,735 --> 01:10:19,404
Daredevil?
I'm so sorry.

1436
01:10:19,438 --> 01:10:20,839
-It's fine.
-Okay.

1437
01:10:22,808 --> 01:10:26,144
Even that sweet, baby angel,
Johnny Storm.

1438
01:10:26,178 --> 01:10:27,611
He up and gone missing like,

1439
01:10:27,645 --> 01:10:29,580
what, two days ago?

1440
01:10:29,613 --> 01:10:31,917
Ugh. That's so sad.

1441
01:10:31,950 --> 01:10:34,685
Wherever this Johnny fella is,
I'm sure he's thriving.

1442
01:10:35,887 --> 01:10:38,123
Look, there's...
there's strength in numbers.

1443
01:10:38,156 --> 01:10:39,257
All right? Us...

1444
01:10:39,291 --> 01:10:40,624
plus, you guys.
We can put Cassandra

1445
01:10:40,658 --> 01:10:42,928
over our knee and force her
to let us out of The Void.

1446
01:10:42,961 --> 01:10:44,628
I know what it means
to feel self-doubt.

1447
01:10:44,662 --> 01:10:46,198
-I don't feel that at all.
-I'm good.

1448
01:10:46,231 --> 01:10:48,467
Gnawing at your gut
like a coked-up tapeworm.

1449
01:10:48,499 --> 01:10:50,035
It's like you're holding up
a mirror to my soul.

1450
01:10:50,068 --> 01:10:51,403
You guys
may not have been able

1451
01:10:51,436 --> 01:10:53,171
to save your universes.

1452
01:10:53,205 --> 01:10:55,374
But you can avenge them.

1453
01:10:55,407 --> 01:10:56,707
It's what Johnny
would have wanted.

1454
01:10:56,741 --> 01:10:59,778
Wait. You knew Johnny?

1455
01:11:00,578 --> 01:11:01,813
Oh, yeah.

1456
01:11:01,847 --> 01:11:03,815
Dickhead here talked him
into a team-up,

1457
01:11:03,849 --> 01:11:06,451
and Johnny came down with
a little case of the deads.

1458
01:11:06,485 --> 01:11:07,786
No, no, no.
We don't know that.

1459
01:11:07,819 --> 01:11:10,022
It was just a flesh wound.
He may have survived.

1460
01:11:10,055 --> 01:11:12,824
If he survived that,
he is prayin' for death.

1461
01:11:12,858 --> 01:11:14,493
Thank you,
Doctor Wolverine!

1462
01:11:14,525 --> 01:11:16,694
-Spill it!
-What'd you do to Johnny, huh?

1463
01:11:16,727 --> 01:11:17,896
Talk or I'm gonna
start dealin'.

1464
01:11:17,929 --> 01:11:19,597
Okay. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.

1465
01:11:20,065 --> 01:11:20,899
Look.

1466
01:11:20,932 --> 01:11:23,368
He ran his fat-ass mouth
about Cassandra.

1467
01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:25,170
Then she zip-zapped his skin,

1468
01:11:25,203 --> 01:11:27,339
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground

1469
01:11:27,372 --> 01:11:30,308
while the soil
greedily drank his blood.
It was horrible.

1470
01:11:30,342 --> 01:11:32,110
He was like a brother to me.

1471
01:11:32,144 --> 01:11:35,280
Look, he died before he could
make a difference. But...

1472
01:11:35,313 --> 01:11:36,348
Look, maybe you couldn't

1473
01:11:36,381 --> 01:11:37,816
save your worlds, but...

1474
01:11:37,849 --> 01:11:40,584
but Jesus Christ,
you can save mine!

1475
01:11:40,618 --> 01:11:43,088
I don't give a shit
about your world, but

1476
01:11:43,121 --> 01:11:46,058
if these two made it out of
there alive, maybe together,

1477
01:11:46,091 --> 01:11:47,993
we can get back in
and take her down.

1478
01:11:48,026 --> 01:11:50,996
Where I come from,
we call that suicide, <i>Chere.</i>

1479
01:11:51,029 --> 01:11:52,998
If we can block
her psychic powers,

1480
01:11:53,031 --> 01:11:54,900
we can get a leg up.
I know it.

1481
01:11:54,933 --> 01:11:56,968
Now, I know Magneto's dead.

1482
01:11:57,002 --> 01:11:59,603
But I'd venture to guess
that his helmet is lying

1483
01:11:59,637 --> 01:12:01,672
-around here somewhere--
-Cassandra melted the helmet.

1484
01:12:01,705 --> 01:12:02,874
-Fuck!
-After she killed him.

1485
01:12:02,908 --> 01:12:04,876
-Fuck!
-She don't play.

1486
01:12:04,910 --> 01:12:06,344
She knows that helmet
was the only way

1487
01:12:06,378 --> 01:12:08,013
to protect anyone
from her powers.

1488
01:12:08,046 --> 01:12:09,915
The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut's,

1489
01:12:09,948 --> 01:12:11,183
but he works for Cassandra.

1490
01:12:11,216 --> 01:12:12,716
Juggernaut's helmet.
That's it.

1491
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:14,419
Yeah, and we done be knowing
that lid ain't comin' off

1492
01:12:14,453 --> 01:12:15,854
without that dome
gonna come off wit'it.

1493
01:12:15,887 --> 01:12:17,155
I'm so sorry,
beautiful.

1494
01:12:17,189 --> 01:12:18,056
I want this to be gentle.

1495
01:12:18,090 --> 01:12:20,358
Who is your dialect coach?
The Minions?

1496
01:12:20,392 --> 01:12:23,661
I feel like we are missing
critical exposition here.

1497
01:12:24,863 --> 01:12:27,833
I'm sick of this shit.
I'm sick of hiding.

1498
01:12:28,867 --> 01:12:30,902
Let's face it,
our worlds forgot about us.

1499
01:12:30,936 --> 01:12:32,736
Or never learned about us.

1500
01:12:32,771 --> 01:12:34,206
The heroes we were.

1501
01:12:34,239 --> 01:12:35,540
Lives we saved.

1502
01:12:35,574 --> 01:12:36,942
Or wanted to save.

1503
01:12:36,975 --> 01:12:39,010
Maybe these two
are our chance.

1504
01:12:40,378 --> 01:12:42,114
To be remembered.

1505
01:12:42,147 --> 01:12:43,215
The way we deserve.

1506
01:12:44,349 --> 01:12:45,417
Yes.

1507
01:12:45,450 --> 01:12:47,252
An ending.

1508
01:12:47,285 --> 01:12:48,487
-Legacy.
-Yes!

1509
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:49,988
Yes! Let this man cook.

1510
01:12:50,021 --> 01:12:51,523
This is what
I'm talking about.

1511
01:12:51,556 --> 01:12:53,525
Big slow-motion fights,
sad music.

1512
01:12:53,558 --> 01:12:54,759
Everybody working together.

1513
01:12:54,793 --> 01:12:56,627
Who knows if you live or die?
That sorta thing.

1514
01:12:56,660 --> 01:12:58,797
-Who's ready?
-I was born ready.

1515
01:12:58,830 --> 01:13:00,098
Yes!
Gambit?

1516
01:13:00,132 --> 01:13:01,066
I ain't know my daddy,

1517
01:13:01,099 --> 01:13:03,068
but I'm sure I shot out
of his dick ready.

1518
01:13:03,101 --> 01:13:05,003
Jesus Christ,
that is graphic.

1519
01:13:05,036 --> 01:13:06,972
Yeah. He was layin' them
buttery nuts all up in my mama

1520
01:13:07,005 --> 01:13:09,007
and I shot out there
and I said, "What's up, Doc?"

1521
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:11,476
Johnny must have loved you.

1522
01:13:11,510 --> 01:13:13,778
X-23, what's it gonna be?

1523
01:13:13,812 --> 01:13:15,046
The name's Laura.

1524
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,883
-Let's fucking go.
-Let's fucking go!

1525
01:13:17,916 --> 01:13:19,151
It's on like chicken and corn.

1526
01:13:19,184 --> 01:13:20,684
-Yeah!
-We're doing this.

1527
01:13:20,718 --> 01:13:21,786
You're all fuckin' dead.

1528
01:13:21,820 --> 01:13:24,156
My God!
Read the room.

1529
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,136
Hey, hey. I'm not lookin'
for company. Get out of here.

1530
01:13:40,305 --> 01:13:41,806
You remind me of him.

1531
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:43,674
Angry. Drunk. Mean...

1532
01:13:43,707 --> 01:13:45,877
-Sounds like a great guy--
-Wasn't finished.

1533
01:13:47,678 --> 01:13:49,281
Showed up when
it mattered the most.

1534
01:13:51,516 --> 01:13:53,185
Couldn't help it.

1535
01:13:56,521 --> 01:13:57,856
You might not know it, but...

1536
01:13:58,757 --> 01:14:00,192
you're a good man, Logan.

1537
01:14:02,227 --> 01:14:03,895
You might not know it,
but apparently,

1538
01:14:03,929 --> 01:14:05,330
I'm the worst Logan.

1539
01:14:07,165 --> 01:14:09,067
I got to have a life
because of you.

1540
01:14:11,970 --> 01:14:13,704
I got to grow up
because of you.

1541
01:14:15,706 --> 01:14:17,275
A lot of kids did.

1542
01:14:17,309 --> 01:14:19,444
A lot of kids didn't grow up
because of me.

1543
01:14:21,646 --> 01:14:23,248
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.

1544
01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:26,651
That suit says different.

1545
01:14:26,685 --> 01:14:28,820
-Yeah. Do you like it?
-Mm.

1546
01:14:30,689 --> 01:14:32,390
Scott used to beg me
to wear it.

1547
01:14:34,659 --> 01:14:37,262
So did Jean, Storm, Beast.

1548
01:14:39,331 --> 01:14:41,366
All of them.

1549
01:14:41,399 --> 01:14:45,136
They wanted me to be part
of the team, but I wouldn't.

1550
01:14:45,170 --> 01:14:48,473
Told 'em they all look
fucking ridiculous. I mean...

1551
01:14:50,308 --> 01:14:53,078
I couldn't have 'em thinkin'
I wanted to be there.

1552
01:14:58,749 --> 01:15:00,785
And then one day,
while I was off on my own,

1553
01:15:00,819 --> 01:15:02,087
the humans came...

1554
01:15:02,654 --> 01:15:04,089
and went mutant hunting.

1555
01:15:05,357 --> 01:15:06,524
I can guess the rest.

1556
01:15:06,558 --> 01:15:07,759
No, no, let me...

1557
01:15:08,994 --> 01:15:10,195
Let me say it. I...

1558
01:15:12,797 --> 01:15:13,999
I need to say it.

1559
01:15:16,468 --> 01:15:19,137
By the time I stumbled home
shitfaced from the bar,

1560
01:15:19,170 --> 01:15:20,472
it was too late.

1561
01:15:24,276 --> 01:15:25,977
They were dead. Every...

1562
01:15:32,050 --> 01:15:35,220
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.

1563
01:15:37,222 --> 01:15:38,256
And what I did.

1564
01:15:51,236 --> 01:15:53,038
We're headed to Cassandra's
at sunup.

1565
01:15:53,838 --> 01:15:55,874
Have fun. Not my fight.

1566
01:15:59,110 --> 01:16:00,845
We won't pull this off
without you.

1567
01:16:07,619 --> 01:16:11,122
Hey. Whoever you think I am,
you got the wrong guy.

1568
01:16:13,892 --> 01:16:15,560
You were always the wrong guy.

1569
01:16:41,319 --> 01:16:42,153
What?

1570
01:16:42,187 --> 01:16:44,489
Alioth didn't get them.

1571
01:16:44,522 --> 01:16:47,192
Cassandra wanted to
play with them herself first.

1572
01:16:47,225 --> 01:16:48,059
<i>They got away.</i>

1573
01:16:48,093 --> 01:16:49,728
-Did they find the others?
-No.

1574
01:16:49,762 --> 01:16:51,129
Good. All right. Phew.

1575
01:16:51,162 --> 01:16:53,231
<i>-The others found them.</i>
-Oh, very cute.

1576
01:16:53,264 --> 01:16:55,133
Well done, Pyro.
Classic bait and switch.

1577
01:16:55,166 --> 01:16:57,669
<i>-You really got me there.</i>
<i>-</i> Relax.

1578
01:16:57,702 --> 01:17:00,038
If they come after Nova,
she'll handle it.

1579
01:17:00,071 --> 01:17:02,207
Cassandra is
a lunatic wild card.

1580
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:04,376
Why do you think we put her
there in the first place?

1581
01:17:04,409 --> 01:17:06,511
Thank God she's never chosen
to leave The Void.

1582
01:17:06,544 --> 01:17:09,447
The Time Ripper is hours away
from completion.

1583
01:17:09,481 --> 01:17:10,582
I cannot take any chances.

1584
01:17:10,615 --> 01:17:11,750
Well, maybe not.

1585
01:17:11,784 --> 01:17:13,218
<i>But I can.</i>

1586
01:17:13,251 --> 01:17:14,319
For a price.

1587
01:17:14,352 --> 01:17:15,754
<i>Why do you have to</i>
<i>say it in that silly voice?</i>

1588
01:17:15,788 --> 01:17:17,088
It's so icky.

1589
01:17:17,122 --> 01:17:18,957
<i>-You want it done or not?</i>
-All right. Your price.

1590
01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:20,492
<i>Take her out.</i>

1591
01:17:21,025 --> 01:17:23,161
Ugh. Mutants.

1592
01:17:44,884 --> 01:17:46,017
Ooh! Look at that there!

1593
01:17:46,050 --> 01:17:47,285
You see them biggum hands
come closed.

1594
01:17:47,318 --> 01:17:48,888
Ain't not a wonna gettin' up
inside there.

1595
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:50,155
I think what
Gambit's trying to say is

1596
01:17:50,188 --> 01:17:53,091
getting Juggernaut's helmet
ain't gonna be easy.

1597
01:17:53,124 --> 01:17:54,760
I'm just making
stuff up at this...

1598
01:17:54,794 --> 01:17:56,594
-Yeah. Tilt up to Blade.
-Gun!

1599
01:18:01,399 --> 01:18:03,101
Where'd he get
that little beauty?

1600
01:18:03,134 --> 01:18:05,203
That's Punisher's AT4.

1601
01:18:05,236 --> 01:18:07,639
Which Punisher? There's been,
like, five of them.

1602
01:18:07,672 --> 01:18:09,340
There's only been one Blade,

1603
01:18:09,374 --> 01:18:11,309
and there's only ever
gonna be one Blade.

1604
01:18:15,547 --> 01:18:16,681
Incoming!

1605
01:18:16,714 --> 01:18:18,082
Ahhh!

1606
01:19:23,314 --> 01:19:25,550
Ooh, this is gonna be good.

1607
01:19:25,583 --> 01:19:28,086
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?

1608
01:19:28,119 --> 01:19:30,355
Whoo! I'm about to make
a name for myself here.

1609
01:19:30,388 --> 01:19:32,357
I don't think you guys
walk away from this.

1610
01:19:32,390 --> 01:19:34,392
You just make sure people know
what happened here today.

1611
01:19:34,425 --> 01:19:36,594
And when you get out of here,
you have a drink for me, yeah?

1612
01:19:36,628 --> 01:19:39,097
You just stay on our six
and get inside.

1613
01:19:39,130 --> 01:19:41,733
We'll make sure
you get the package.

1614
01:19:41,767 --> 01:19:43,002
And we'll get our ending.

1615
01:20:53,371 --> 01:20:54,205
And boom!

1616
01:21:25,637 --> 01:21:28,107
Heh. Some motherfuckers still
trying to ice skate uphill.

1617
01:21:35,146 --> 01:21:37,348
You two escaping,
I could live with.

1618
01:21:37,382 --> 01:21:40,318
But coming back? Willingly?

1619
01:21:41,820 --> 01:21:43,521
Boys are so silly.

1620
01:21:43,554 --> 01:21:44,689
I just need to get home.

1621
01:21:44,722 --> 01:21:47,325
Well, that's not on the menu,
I'm afraid.

1622
01:21:47,358 --> 01:21:50,863
It's death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course.

1623
01:21:50,896 --> 01:21:52,430
Upsy-daisy.

1624
01:21:57,635 --> 01:21:58,636
Finally,

1625
01:21:58,670 --> 01:22:00,806
it's nice to give someone else
a chance to talk.

1626
01:22:00,839 --> 01:22:02,674
Not my strong suit.

1627
01:22:20,425 --> 01:22:21,794
You shouldn't have done that.

1628
01:22:41,612 --> 01:22:42,848
<i>Adios, pendejo.</i>

1629
01:22:45,283 --> 01:22:48,252
You are an interesting one,
aren't you?

1630
01:22:48,286 --> 01:22:51,389
I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his...

1631
01:22:54,525 --> 01:22:57,328
Deadpools are a dime a dozen
here in The Void.

1632
01:22:58,097 --> 01:22:59,965
But you...

1633
01:22:59,998 --> 01:23:03,001
What's going on in here?

1634
01:23:12,543 --> 01:23:13,946
<i>Logan!</i>

1635
01:23:16,447 --> 01:23:17,749
Interesting...

1636
01:23:18,884 --> 01:23:20,786
Not what I expected back here.

1637
01:23:21,887 --> 01:23:23,254
Behind the anger.

1638
01:23:27,092 --> 01:23:28,392
You're hiding.

1639
01:23:28,426 --> 01:23:30,361
From them.

1640
01:23:30,394 --> 01:23:32,330
From all the ones
you let down.

1641
01:23:34,867 --> 01:23:36,034
So much pain.

1642
01:23:38,703 --> 01:23:40,906
I walked away.

1643
01:23:40,939 --> 01:23:42,673
They called after me and I...

1644
01:23:42,707 --> 01:23:43,842
I walked away.

1645
01:23:44,943 --> 01:23:46,044
I always do.

1646
01:23:46,078 --> 01:23:47,345
-<i>Logan!</i>
-I know.

1647
01:23:49,413 --> 01:23:50,916
That's not all you did.

1648
01:23:51,682 --> 01:23:52,517
Is it?

1649
01:23:55,954 --> 01:23:57,455
You found them.

1650
01:23:58,257 --> 01:23:59,457
The X-Men.

1651
01:24:04,797 --> 01:24:05,630
Dead.

1652
01:24:08,399 --> 01:24:09,768
Piled like wood.

1653
01:24:11,335 --> 01:24:12,737
<i>What did you do?</i>

1654
01:24:15,240 --> 01:24:17,209
I started killing.

1655
01:24:17,242 --> 01:24:19,845
And I couldn't stop.
I didn't wanna stop.

1656
01:24:21,079 --> 01:24:23,816
<i>All those bad men.</i>

1657
01:24:27,552 --> 01:24:29,420
It's not just the bad ones.

1658
01:24:30,956 --> 01:24:32,090
My little animal.

1659
01:24:34,793 --> 01:24:37,830
And I turned the whole world
against the X-Men.

1660
01:24:38,130 --> 01:24:39,330
Blade!

1661
01:24:44,803 --> 01:24:45,971
Just once...

1662
01:24:47,738 --> 01:24:50,575
I wanna be the man
that Charles thought I was.

1663
01:24:51,742 --> 01:24:52,845
Logan...

1664
01:24:54,313 --> 01:24:58,050
in The Void,
you can be what you are.

1665
01:25:00,384 --> 01:25:01,954
I just wanna be free.

1666
01:25:02,587 --> 01:25:04,355
I can set you free.

1667
01:25:15,666 --> 01:25:20,973
I can silence
all those voices.

1668
01:25:27,846 --> 01:25:28,847
I've got you.

1669
01:25:31,350 --> 01:25:32,550
I've got you.

1670
01:25:33,118 --> 01:25:34,119
No.

1671
01:25:35,386 --> 01:25:36,621
I got you.

1672
01:25:44,395 --> 01:25:46,765
Get it off!

1673
01:25:46,798 --> 01:25:48,267
You're gonna send us home,

1674
01:25:48,300 --> 01:25:49,835
or I'm gonna twist
your fucking head off.

1675
01:25:49,868 --> 01:25:51,502
Why are you laughing?

1676
01:25:52,037 --> 01:25:53,305
I can't send you home

1677
01:25:53,338 --> 01:25:56,308
unless you get this thing
off my head.

1678
01:25:56,341 --> 01:25:57,575
And as soon as you do that,

1679
01:25:57,608 --> 01:26:00,312
I'm going to boil your brains
on an atomic level

1680
01:26:00,345 --> 01:26:03,348
whilst flicking my bean
to the Enya box set.

1681
01:26:03,382 --> 01:26:04,548
There's an Enya box set?

1682
01:26:04,582 --> 01:26:06,084
Either you kill me

1683
01:26:06,118 --> 01:26:07,418
or I kill you.

1684
01:26:08,287 --> 01:26:10,289
Both wonderful options.

1685
01:26:10,322 --> 01:26:11,522
You want me to do it?

1686
01:26:11,555 --> 01:26:12,590
No, I'll do it.

1687
01:26:12,623 --> 01:26:13,959
I have
her neck right here.

1688
01:26:13,992 --> 01:26:15,660
-It's really no problem.
-You'll screw it up.

1689
01:26:15,693 --> 01:26:17,262
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,

1690
01:26:17,296 --> 01:26:18,330
except the last one!

1691
01:26:18,363 --> 01:26:20,498
What the fuck?

1692
01:26:21,699 --> 01:26:23,969
You have no idea

1693
01:26:24,002 --> 01:26:25,070
what it's like!

1694
01:26:25,103 --> 01:26:28,040
Day after day.
Shovel the shit.

1695
01:26:28,073 --> 01:26:29,740
Fetch the meats.

1696
01:26:29,775 --> 01:26:32,743
I have spent my entire exis--

1697
01:26:34,545 --> 01:26:36,148
Not everyone gets a speech.

1698
01:26:36,181 --> 01:26:39,017
She's gonna die.

1699
01:26:39,051 --> 01:26:40,618
Okay. Hey, hey.
If I take this helmet off,

1700
01:26:40,651 --> 01:26:42,421
do you promise
you won't kill us?

1701
01:26:42,453 --> 01:26:43,587
-Fuck!
-I promise...

1702
01:26:43,621 --> 01:26:45,290
I will kill you first thing.

1703
01:26:45,324 --> 01:26:47,192
Oh!
Why are you like this?

1704
01:26:47,225 --> 01:26:48,526
I wish I knew.

1705
01:26:48,559 --> 01:26:49,761
-Take it off.
-What?

1706
01:26:49,795 --> 01:26:50,996
-Take it off.
-Why?

1707
01:26:51,029 --> 01:26:52,463
-Just take it off.
-This is our only chance

1708
01:26:52,496 --> 01:26:54,632
-to fix our shit!
-Take it off!

1709
01:26:56,368 --> 01:26:58,703
I am wearing this suit.

1710
01:26:58,736 --> 01:27:01,039
And that means
a lot of things,
but most of all...

1711
01:27:02,441 --> 01:27:03,741
it means I'm an X-Man.

1712
01:27:04,642 --> 01:27:06,178
And I know your brother.

1713
01:27:08,447 --> 01:27:09,848
As much as I want
to fucking kill you,

1714
01:27:09,881 --> 01:27:12,683
every bone in my body
wants to fucking kill you,

1715
01:27:12,717 --> 01:27:15,921
he would not let me stand here
and watch you die!

1716
01:27:18,290 --> 01:27:19,657
Take your hands off.

1717
01:27:21,193 --> 01:27:22,593
This is for him.

1718
01:27:24,329 --> 01:27:25,730
This is for Charles.

1719
01:27:35,474 --> 01:27:37,242
Hey, no, no, no!

1720
01:27:37,275 --> 01:27:38,877
Don't you dare
do me like Johnny!

1721
01:27:45,217 --> 01:27:46,284
My brother loved you.

1722
01:27:48,186 --> 01:27:49,254
He loved all of us.

1723
01:27:49,955 --> 01:27:50,956
Hmm.

1724
01:27:52,324 --> 01:27:53,591
Must be nice.

1725
01:27:54,493 --> 01:27:55,927
He would've loved you, too.

1726
01:27:58,629 --> 01:27:59,965
If he knew about you...

1727
01:28:01,599 --> 01:28:03,001
if he knew where you were,

1728
01:28:03,035 --> 01:28:05,303
he would've torn a hole
in the fucking universe

1729
01:28:05,337 --> 01:28:06,570
to bring you home.

1730
01:28:10,242 --> 01:28:11,309
This is my home.

1731
01:28:12,377 --> 01:28:14,780
Well, then at least
let us save his.

1732
01:28:18,716 --> 01:28:20,318
You want to hear
something crazy?

1733
01:28:22,087 --> 01:28:25,190
An amateur magician rolled
through here a while back.

1734
01:28:26,124 --> 01:28:28,026
I killed him, of course.

1735
01:28:28,060 --> 01:28:30,661
Wore his skin around
for four days.

1736
01:28:31,329 --> 01:28:32,364
But

1737
01:28:32,397 --> 01:28:34,132
I found this

1738
01:28:34,166 --> 01:28:36,134
little trinket

1739
01:28:36,168 --> 01:28:38,370
on his lovely fingers.

1740
01:28:38,403 --> 01:28:39,737
Strange!

1741
01:28:42,606 --> 01:28:44,910
-Marvel sparkle circle.
-What is that?

1742
01:28:45,643 --> 01:28:47,678
This is your way home.

1743
01:28:47,711 --> 01:28:49,747
I do owe you
for saving my life.

1744
01:28:49,781 --> 01:28:51,383
But let's keep
things interesting.

1745
01:28:51,416 --> 01:28:53,318
I'd say you have
about four seconds

1746
01:28:53,351 --> 01:28:54,853
before you're Alioth's food.

1747
01:28:58,890 --> 01:29:00,192
Race ya.

1748
01:30:23,842 --> 01:30:25,777
And as I said,
we've got
a standard three-year

1749
01:30:25,810 --> 01:30:27,312
bumper to bumper warranty.

1750
01:30:27,345 --> 01:30:29,047
Glad you gave us
a second chance.

1751
01:30:29,080 --> 01:30:30,815
And don't worry.
Wade and I are a team,

1752
01:30:30,849 --> 01:30:32,350
so I'll see he gets
half the commission--

1753
01:30:34,052 --> 01:30:35,153
Whoa.

1754
01:30:35,187 --> 01:30:37,389
That feels like a Kia.

1755
01:30:37,422 --> 01:30:40,125
It's a fucking Kia Carnival,
isn't it?

1756
01:30:41,293 --> 01:30:44,262
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.

1757
01:30:44,296 --> 01:30:45,497
And that's Wolverine.

1758
01:30:45,530 --> 01:30:46,598
You're damn straight it is.

1759
01:30:46,631 --> 01:30:47,666
Fox killed him.

1760
01:30:47,698 --> 01:30:48,900
Disney brought him back.

1761
01:30:48,934 --> 01:30:50,435
They're going to make him
do this till he's 90.

1762
01:30:51,069 --> 01:30:52,637
Let's go.

1763
01:30:52,671 --> 01:30:54,206
I'll clock you out!

1764
01:30:54,239 --> 01:30:55,407
Forever!

1765
01:30:56,174 --> 01:30:57,275
Forever.

1766
01:31:04,516 --> 01:31:05,550
Wakey-wakey.

1767
01:31:05,584 --> 01:31:07,352
God?

1768
01:31:08,620 --> 01:31:11,923
Now, you put all these bullets
in my belly,

1769
01:31:11,957 --> 01:31:13,792
and I'm gonna find out why.

1770
01:31:14,326 --> 01:31:15,393
Whoa, whoa!

1771
01:31:16,127 --> 01:31:17,963
I'll just say it.

1772
01:31:17,996 --> 01:31:19,831
You don't have to stick
your fingers in me.

1773
01:31:19,864 --> 01:31:22,367
Jesus, just ask sometimes.

1774
01:31:22,667 --> 01:31:23,902
Fine.

1775
01:31:25,070 --> 01:31:26,071
Really?

1776
01:31:26,605 --> 01:31:27,806
Hands in pockets.

1777
01:31:29,441 --> 01:31:31,476
Guy named Paradox.

1778
01:31:31,509 --> 01:31:32,711
He said he'd get me
out of The Void.

1779
01:31:32,743 --> 01:31:34,980
All I know is
he works for the TVA.

1780
01:31:35,013 --> 01:31:35,914
The TVA.

1781
01:31:35,947 --> 01:31:37,382
We had an agreement.

1782
01:31:37,415 --> 01:31:39,317
I don't think this guy cares.

1783
01:31:39,351 --> 01:31:41,319
Huh. He will.

1784
01:31:41,720 --> 01:31:42,988
Hey, people!

1785
01:31:43,021 --> 01:31:45,190
How much longer before
the Time Ripper is active?

1786
01:31:45,223 --> 01:31:47,158
We're running
the final safety checks.

1787
01:31:47,192 --> 01:31:49,461
Oh, okay. All right.
Thanks for all
your hard work, Ralph.

1788
01:31:49,494 --> 01:31:50,962
-Take your time.
-Really?

1789
01:31:50,996 --> 01:31:52,697
No, you drooling boob!

1790
01:31:52,731 --> 01:31:54,032
No! We have company.

1791
01:31:54,065 --> 01:31:57,402
Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live now!

1792
01:31:57,435 --> 01:31:59,070
Oh, I hate you so much.

1793
01:32:01,139 --> 01:32:01,973
No! Stop!

1794
01:32:02,007 --> 01:32:03,875
Piss off! You're too late.

1795
01:32:03,908 --> 01:32:05,777
-You're fuckin' done.
-Why was Thor crying?

1796
01:32:05,810 --> 01:32:06,845
How dare you!

1797
01:32:06,878 --> 01:32:09,414
No one comes back
from The Void.

1798
01:32:09,447 --> 01:32:11,016
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.

1799
01:32:19,691 --> 01:32:21,826
Paradox. We have a problem.

1800
01:32:24,596 --> 01:32:25,964
Paradox.

1801
01:32:28,133 --> 01:32:30,702
Well, you are doughier than
you looked in Pyro's head.

1802
01:32:30,735 --> 01:32:31,970
You tried to kill me.

1803
01:32:32,003 --> 01:32:33,938
I literally have no i--

1804
01:32:33,972 --> 01:32:35,807
<i>You come for the king,</i>

1805
01:32:35,840 --> 01:32:37,709
<i>you better kill the king.</i>

1806
01:32:37,742 --> 01:32:38,843
Oh-ho-ho!

1807
01:32:38,877 --> 01:32:41,079
Welcome to
the skull fuck club, Paradox.

1808
01:32:41,112 --> 01:32:43,648
You know she doesn't
wash that hand.

1809
01:32:43,682 --> 01:32:45,150
Oh.

1810
01:32:45,183 --> 01:32:46,284
What's this?

1811
01:32:47,552 --> 01:32:48,753
A Time Ripper?

1812
01:32:48,788 --> 01:32:49,821
Naughty boy.

1813
01:32:49,854 --> 01:32:51,222
Oh, no.
We're on it.

1814
01:32:51,256 --> 01:32:52,590
We're gonna head down
and dismantle
that thing now.

1815
01:32:52,624 --> 01:32:55,026
We got ya, boo.
You just keep
playing those keys.

1816
01:32:55,060 --> 01:32:56,861
I don't want to destroy it.

1817
01:32:57,395 --> 01:32:59,064
I want to use it.

1818
01:32:59,097 --> 01:33:01,900
Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy
are having a conversation.

1819
01:33:08,473 --> 01:33:10,408
You know, the funny thing is,

1820
01:33:10,442 --> 01:33:12,610
I was happy in The Void.

1821
01:33:12,644 --> 01:33:15,880
You sent your trash to me.
Alioth and I cleaned it up.

1822
01:33:15,914 --> 01:33:18,550
Everyone was happy.

1823
01:33:18,583 --> 01:33:21,953
And then you had to
go and piss on
my side of the fence.

1824
01:33:21,986 --> 01:33:24,856
And so now the fence
must come down.

1825
01:33:24,889 --> 01:33:26,858
I'm going to use
your little Time Ripper.

1826
01:33:26,891 --> 01:33:29,661
And I'm going to destroy
this universe

1827
01:33:29,694 --> 01:33:32,364
and the next and the next
and the next

1828
01:33:32,397 --> 01:33:36,067
until all that's left
is The Void.

1829
01:33:36,101 --> 01:33:38,670
And I get to play God.

1830
01:33:38,703 --> 01:33:40,038
Come on.

1831
01:33:40,071 --> 01:33:41,239
Now you're going to show me

1832
01:33:41,272 --> 01:33:42,941
how to use
this fancy gadget of yours.

1833
01:33:42,974 --> 01:33:44,943
And don't worry,
I've called some friends

1834
01:33:44,976 --> 01:33:46,578
to make sure
we're not disturbed.

1835
01:33:49,748 --> 01:33:51,015
Sorry to bother, madam,

1836
01:33:51,049 --> 01:33:53,084
but there's something
you need to see.

1837
01:33:53,118 --> 01:33:55,553
We're getting indications
of an unsanctioned Time Ripper

1838
01:33:55,587 --> 01:33:57,922
activating on Earth-10005.

1839
01:33:59,557 --> 01:34:00,925
Whose district is that?

1840
01:34:01,526 --> 01:34:02,527
Paradox.

1841
01:34:14,005 --> 01:34:16,274
Well, thank you so much
for your help, darling.

1842
01:34:16,307 --> 01:34:18,510
God. Good to get out
of that head.

1843
01:34:18,543 --> 01:34:20,578
Whew! What a mess!

1844
01:34:28,052 --> 01:34:29,187
Stop!

1845
01:34:29,220 --> 01:34:31,222
Let's give it a beat
for the extras to clear.

1846
01:34:31,256 --> 01:34:33,491
Go, go, go, go, go!
Oh, my God!

1847
01:34:38,129 --> 01:34:41,065
-Oh. My. God.
-Fuck.

1848
01:34:48,673 --> 01:34:50,308
It's her!

1849
01:34:51,176 --> 01:34:53,244
Come on, girl!

1850
01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:01,186
Come on, girl!

1851
01:35:15,567 --> 01:35:16,769
That's my girl!

1852
01:35:16,802 --> 01:35:18,236
We don't have to be apart

1853
01:35:18,269 --> 01:35:20,271
ever, ever again.
Never, ever...

1854
01:35:20,305 --> 01:35:21,673
-Sorry!
-Fuck!

1855
01:35:22,775 --> 01:35:24,509
What's Cafe Gratitude
doing here?

1856
01:35:24,542 --> 01:35:26,044
Sorry about that.

1857
01:35:26,077 --> 01:35:28,213
Tremble not,
sweet Mary Puppins.

1858
01:35:28,246 --> 01:35:30,014
I'll handle him.

1859
01:35:30,048 --> 01:35:31,382
Come here, girl.
Papa's here.

1860
01:35:31,416 --> 01:35:34,285
Hey, do not insult
this animal's autonomy.

1861
01:35:34,319 --> 01:35:36,654
She can decide
who her papa is.

1862
01:35:36,688 --> 01:35:37,823
What's it gonna be, girl, huh?

1863
01:35:37,857 --> 01:35:40,258
Original recipe
or Van Milder here?

1864
01:35:40,291 --> 01:35:44,429
Ah, that's funny. I can gently
tap the fourth wall too.

1865
01:35:44,462 --> 01:35:45,597
<i>The Proposal.</i>

1866
01:35:47,065 --> 01:35:48,199
The fuck was that?

1867
01:35:48,233 --> 01:35:49,869
Bitch, you think
that's what I do?

1868
01:35:49,902 --> 01:35:51,169
Both of you shut up.

1869
01:35:51,202 --> 01:35:53,004
You smell somethin'?

1870
01:35:53,037 --> 01:35:54,072
Yeah, you.

1871
01:35:54,105 --> 01:35:56,441
A lot of you.

1872
01:36:11,589 --> 01:36:13,993
Told you there were
a lot of Deadpools over there.

1873
01:36:25,637 --> 01:36:26,772
That's bad.

1874
01:36:49,193 --> 01:36:50,595
I take it
they're not friendly.

1875
01:36:50,628 --> 01:36:51,496
Goodness, no.

1876
01:36:51,529 --> 01:36:53,598
Sorry about this, boys.
Mission over.

1877
01:36:53,631 --> 01:36:56,701
Cause of death, one hundred
kill-thirsty Deadpools.

1878
01:36:56,734 --> 01:36:57,569
They're dumb.

1879
01:36:57,602 --> 01:36:59,437
But they can fight.
Not me, though.

1880
01:36:59,470 --> 01:37:02,140
Would love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density

1881
01:37:02,173 --> 01:37:04,043
and I have to keep
my face safe.

1882
01:37:04,075 --> 01:37:05,343
Hold, please.

1883
01:37:05,376 --> 01:37:07,245
-Oh, God.
-All right. Look.

1884
01:37:07,780 --> 01:37:08,781
Guys!

1885
01:37:09,949 --> 01:37:11,649
Deadpool Prime here.

1886
01:37:11,683 --> 01:37:13,251
-Our fight isn't with you--
-Hey!

1887
01:37:13,284 --> 01:37:14,719
When I want your opinion,

1888
01:37:14,752 --> 01:37:17,088
I'll take Wolverine's dick
out of your mouth.

1889
01:37:17,121 --> 01:37:18,891
That's Kidpool.
She's the dirtiest.

1890
01:37:18,924 --> 01:37:20,091
Can we just be done?

1891
01:37:20,124 --> 01:37:21,994
Ooh,
we're just getting started.

1892
01:37:22,027 --> 01:37:23,062
No, no, no, no, no.

1893
01:37:23,094 --> 01:37:25,563
With the whole
multiverse thing.

1894
01:37:26,497 --> 01:37:27,833
It's not great.

1895
01:37:27,866 --> 01:37:29,200
It's just been miss

1896
01:37:29,567 --> 01:37:31,070
after miss

1897
01:37:31,102 --> 01:37:33,137
after miss.

1898
01:37:33,171 --> 01:37:35,473
Look, <i>The Wizard of Oz</i>
did the multiverse first,

1899
01:37:35,506 --> 01:37:38,343
and they did it best.
The gays knew it.

1900
01:37:38,376 --> 01:37:39,577
But we didn't listen.

1901
01:37:39,611 --> 01:37:42,614
Let's just take the L
and move on.

1902
01:37:42,647 --> 01:37:45,216
I think it's been
steadily great since <i>Endgame.</i>

1903
01:37:45,249 --> 01:37:46,819
What are you talking about?

1904
01:37:46,852 --> 01:37:48,419
The multiverse is over.

1905
01:37:48,453 --> 01:37:49,721
Cassandy gonna destroy

1906
01:37:49,754 --> 01:37:51,456
the fuck outta every timeline.

1907
01:37:51,489 --> 01:37:52,958
Heh. Y'all can't do shit
about it.

1908
01:37:52,992 --> 01:37:54,026
Do you not get it?

1909
01:37:54,059 --> 01:37:55,159
If we don't go down
to the subway

1910
01:37:55,193 --> 01:37:56,227
and stop her, we all die.

1911
01:37:56,260 --> 01:37:57,362
Say, the boss lady

1912
01:37:57,395 --> 01:37:58,563
don't want no disturbances.

1913
01:37:58,596 --> 01:38:00,365
You wanna get down
to the subway,

1914
01:38:00,398 --> 01:38:01,666
you gotta go through us.

1915
01:38:01,699 --> 01:38:02,935
Uzi time, baby.

1916
01:38:02,968 --> 01:38:04,003
Uzi time, baby.

1917
01:38:04,036 --> 01:38:05,336
Look alive!

1918
01:38:14,545 --> 01:38:16,347
-I think I'm hit.
-No shit.

1919
01:38:16,381 --> 01:38:17,415
You did that on purpose.

1920
01:38:17,448 --> 01:38:19,183
I did no such thing!

1921
01:38:19,217 --> 01:38:20,385
Listen to me, gorgeous.

1922
01:38:20,418 --> 01:38:21,854
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?

1923
01:38:21,887 --> 01:38:23,287
Regenerate?

1924
01:38:29,360 --> 01:38:31,195
You really are
God's perfect idiot,
aren't you?

1925
01:38:31,229 --> 01:38:32,630
-I'm okay.
-How dare you!

1926
01:38:32,664 --> 01:38:34,699
You insensitive
son of a bitch!

1927
01:38:34,732 --> 01:38:36,902
How was I supposed to know
he doesn't regenerate?

1928
01:38:36,935 --> 01:38:38,436
I'm not a medicine woman.

1929
01:38:38,469 --> 01:38:40,806
Look. A donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.

1930
01:38:40,839 --> 01:38:41,706
-What?
-They sell

1931
01:38:41,739 --> 01:38:43,174
-portable triage units.
-They don't.

1932
01:38:43,207 --> 01:38:44,342
I'm gonna
get you to safety.

1933
01:38:44,375 --> 01:38:46,310
-He's not.
-Deep breath.

1934
01:38:54,419 --> 01:38:56,521
Hey, why are we stopping?

1935
01:38:56,554 --> 01:38:57,856
I'm just catching my breath.

1936
01:38:57,890 --> 01:39:00,826
What, are your legs on
vacation? You're dead weight!

1937
01:39:00,859 --> 01:39:02,427
That's because I'm paralyzed.

1938
01:39:02,460 --> 01:39:04,763
We all have problems.
Listen to me.

1939
01:39:04,797 --> 01:39:05,798
You're gonna live.

1940
01:39:06,899 --> 01:39:08,100
Look at me, Nicepool.

1941
01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:13,404
You're gonna live.

1942
01:39:13,972 --> 01:39:15,373
Say it!

1943
01:39:15,808 --> 01:39:17,341
I'm gonna live.

1944
01:39:17,375 --> 01:39:19,444
Say it with me.
You're gonna live.

1945
01:39:19,477 --> 01:39:21,646
I'm gonna live!

1946
01:39:21,679 --> 01:39:25,216
Ha-hah!
Say it louder!

1947
01:39:25,249 --> 01:39:26,584
I'm gonna live--

1948
01:39:35,326 --> 01:39:36,862
Hold your fire!

1949
01:39:38,797 --> 01:39:40,231
Sweet little puppy.

1950
01:39:50,241 --> 01:39:51,743
God damn it!

1951
01:39:51,777 --> 01:39:53,879
I don't think
he's gonna make it.

1952
01:39:53,912 --> 01:39:55,613
God, he loved his face.

1953
01:39:55,646 --> 01:39:58,217
I can taste his final thought.

1954
01:39:58,249 --> 01:39:59,885
He was so afraid.

1955
01:39:59,918 --> 01:40:01,086
But he died a hero.

1956
01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:03,155
He died from murder,
you dumb fuck.

1957
01:40:03,188 --> 01:40:05,023
And all I have
to remember him by

1958
01:40:05,958 --> 01:40:07,692
are these two gold-plated,

1959
01:40:07,725 --> 01:40:09,995
.50 caliber
Desert Eagle pistoleros.

1960
01:40:10,028 --> 01:40:11,029
This is for him.

1961
01:40:11,729 --> 01:40:13,297
Are you ready?

1962
01:40:13,331 --> 01:40:15,234
I get to kill a hundred yous?

1963
01:40:15,266 --> 01:40:16,634
Fuck yeah, I'm ready.

1964
01:40:17,502 --> 01:40:19,037
Hey, you don't want
to see this, bub.

1965
01:40:19,071 --> 01:40:20,304
That's a good girl.

1966
01:40:57,109 --> 01:40:58,676
Holy shit.

1967
01:40:58,709 --> 01:41:01,079
You save the good stuff
for special occasions?

1968
01:41:01,113 --> 01:41:02,446
Killing, mostly.

1969
01:41:02,480 --> 01:41:03,581
What's the wind resistance

1970
01:41:03,614 --> 01:41:04,715
on those blowjob handles?

1971
01:41:04,749 --> 01:41:06,785
I'm sorry.

1972
01:41:06,819 --> 01:41:09,453
I'm just a catty bitch
when I'm jealous.

1973
01:41:09,487 --> 01:41:11,156
All right, let's do this.

1974
01:41:11,190 --> 01:41:12,557
Maximum effort.

1975
01:41:52,130 --> 01:41:53,364
You're dead.

1976
01:42:19,124 --> 01:42:20,524
Motherfucker.

1977
01:42:21,260 --> 01:42:22,761
I wish I were deaf.

1978
01:42:42,747 --> 01:42:44,749
I don't
wanna die. I don't wanna die.

1979
01:42:44,783 --> 01:42:45,884
I don't wanna...

1980
01:42:59,430 --> 01:43:00,832
Come on.

1981
01:43:00,866 --> 01:43:01,967
Oh, I blew it.

1982
01:43:02,000 --> 01:43:04,102
After all that, the only thing
they're gonna remember

1983
01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:05,971
is that God-awful dismount!

1984
01:43:10,641 --> 01:43:12,344
What you laughing at,
you little fucker?

1985
01:43:12,377 --> 01:43:13,577
Uh-oh.

1986
01:43:13,611 --> 01:43:14,880
Uh-oh.

1987
01:43:19,151 --> 01:43:20,819
I guess these ones regenerate.

1988
01:43:22,720 --> 01:43:25,324
Come on.
We don't have time for this.

1989
01:43:25,357 --> 01:43:26,391
Deadpools!

1990
01:43:26,425 --> 01:43:27,793
Stand down.

1991
01:43:38,203 --> 01:43:39,603
This Deadpool's with me.

1992
01:43:39,637 --> 01:43:41,106
Oh, no.

1993
01:43:41,139 --> 01:43:42,506
Holy shit.

1994
01:43:42,540 --> 01:43:44,109
That's fuckin' Peter!

1995
01:43:47,012 --> 01:43:48,880
Wait, you...
You guys know Peter?

1996
01:43:48,914 --> 01:43:50,983
You kidding me?
Every Deadpool has a Peter.

1997
01:43:51,016 --> 01:43:53,418
Shit.
Peter's a goddamn legend

1998
01:43:53,452 --> 01:43:54,987
in every Deadpool's world.

1999
01:43:55,020 --> 01:43:57,356
Peter-<i>san. Hai.</i>

2000
01:44:04,562 --> 01:44:06,564
Peter. Peter. Peter.

2001
01:44:06,597 --> 01:44:09,868
Peter. Peter. Peter.
Peter. Peter. Peter.

2002
01:44:09,901 --> 01:44:12,570
Peter. Peter. Peter.

2003
01:44:12,603 --> 01:44:14,239
Enjoy my Peter.

2004
01:44:41,665 --> 01:44:42,768
Oh, now you're here.

2005
01:44:42,801 --> 01:44:44,269
Oh, well, you're too late.
It's all over.

2006
01:44:44,302 --> 01:44:45,470
Not yet, it's not.

2007
01:44:45,504 --> 01:44:47,205
Whoa. No, no, no.
We're very close.

2008
01:44:47,239 --> 01:44:48,606
Homestretch, folks. Promise.

2009
01:44:48,639 --> 01:44:50,342
Quick, let's up the stakes.

2010
01:44:50,375 --> 01:44:51,742
If she steals
the Time Ripper's energy,

2011
01:44:51,777 --> 01:44:54,413
she has the power to shred
the fabric of all realities

2012
01:44:54,446 --> 01:44:56,214
until there is nothing left
but The Void.

2013
01:44:56,248 --> 01:44:57,482
How do we shut it down?

2014
01:44:57,516 --> 01:44:58,682
I don't know.

2015
01:45:00,352 --> 01:45:01,585
How about now?

2016
01:45:01,619 --> 01:45:02,821
The mask
is really intimidating, huh?

2017
01:45:02,854 --> 01:45:05,157
It's like Batman,
except he can move his neck.

2018
01:45:05,190 --> 01:45:06,825
Okay, look, look, look.

2019
01:45:07,993 --> 01:45:10,561
The Ripper is fed from
a secure chamber below ground.

2020
01:45:10,594 --> 01:45:13,631
It is powered by twin matter
and anti-matter feeds

2021
01:45:13,664 --> 01:45:15,100
<i>converging inside the device.</i>

2022
01:45:15,133 --> 01:45:15,967
<i>Now, Cassandra Nova</i>

2023
01:45:16,001 --> 01:45:17,302
<i>is redirecting</i>
<i>the Ripper's power</i>

2024
01:45:17,335 --> 01:45:19,670
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.

2025
01:45:19,703 --> 01:45:21,073
Theoretically,
you could stop her

2026
01:45:21,106 --> 01:45:23,075
by short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.

2027
01:45:23,108 --> 01:45:25,709
One of you were to create a
circuit between the two feeds,

2028
01:45:25,743 --> 01:45:29,047
then the released power
would destroy the machine.

2029
01:45:29,081 --> 01:45:30,882
-But, well... But--
-Come on, man.

2030
01:45:30,916 --> 01:45:33,018
If you're not gonna swallow,
spit it out.

2031
01:45:33,051 --> 01:45:36,388
Whoever formed the bridge
would be annihilated.

2032
01:45:36,421 --> 01:45:37,755
I could live with that.

2033
01:45:37,789 --> 01:45:39,124
Yeah, I could live
with that, too, actually.

2034
01:45:39,157 --> 01:45:40,624
You know, we survive anything.
We're like cockroaches.

2035
01:45:40,658 --> 01:45:41,560
Not this time.

2036
01:45:41,592 --> 01:45:43,962
This is matter
and anti-matter.

2037
01:45:43,995 --> 01:45:46,031
They do not play nicely
with each other.

2038
01:45:46,064 --> 01:45:49,534
When they mix in your body,
you will be atomized.

2039
01:45:49,568 --> 01:45:51,635
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.

2040
01:45:51,669 --> 01:45:53,805
Even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit,

2041
01:45:53,839 --> 01:45:56,674
you will die down there.

2042
01:46:21,800 --> 01:46:23,368
Hold off. Hold.

2043
01:46:23,401 --> 01:46:24,903
You heard
that asshole upstairs.

2044
01:46:24,936 --> 01:46:29,640
Even if we pull this off,
we're dead. Permanently.

2045
01:46:29,673 --> 01:46:31,910
-That's why it's got to be me.
-What?

2046
01:46:35,679 --> 01:46:37,681
Look, man...

2047
01:46:37,715 --> 01:46:40,051
you didn't ask
for any of this.

2048
01:46:40,085 --> 01:46:41,419
You were right.

2049
01:46:41,453 --> 01:46:42,653
I lied.

2050
01:46:43,355 --> 01:46:45,023
I lied right to your face

2051
01:46:45,056 --> 01:46:47,159
just to get you to help me.
And you did.

2052
01:46:48,093 --> 01:46:49,660
You didn't lie.

2053
01:46:51,463 --> 01:46:52,964
You made an educated wish.

2054
01:46:56,034 --> 01:46:57,035
Come on.

2055
01:46:58,036 --> 01:47:00,038
You got a whole world
to go back to.

2056
01:47:01,540 --> 01:47:02,740
I got nothin'.

2057
01:47:04,675 --> 01:47:05,877
I got nothin'.

2058
01:47:10,748 --> 01:47:11,950
Give me this.

2059
01:47:18,990 --> 01:47:20,158
Hey.

2060
01:47:24,563 --> 01:47:26,431
I waited a long time
for this team-up.

2061
01:47:28,667 --> 01:47:29,935
You know something?

2062
01:47:31,670 --> 01:47:33,271
You were the best Wolverine.

2063
01:47:41,980 --> 01:47:44,015
Say hi to your friends for me.

2064
01:47:56,194 --> 01:47:57,229
No!

2065
01:47:57,262 --> 01:47:58,463
Open the door!

2066
01:47:58,496 --> 01:48:00,999
I can't hear you
over all the noble sacrifice.

2067
01:48:01,032 --> 01:48:02,634
Why are you
fucking doing this?

2068
01:48:02,667 --> 01:48:05,770
Because I'm Marvel Jesus.

2069
01:48:07,339 --> 01:48:08,340
Or Spock.

2070
01:48:09,541 --> 01:48:10,575
Hard to say.

2071
01:48:15,247 --> 01:48:16,681
Wade!

2072
01:48:16,715 --> 01:48:18,883
You fucking idiot!

2073
01:48:22,753 --> 01:48:25,557
Sorry, I'm just stalling.

2074
01:48:25,590 --> 01:48:27,492
I think I'm nervous
about dying.

2075
01:48:28,360 --> 01:48:29,995
This should be me.

2076
01:48:30,028 --> 01:48:31,830
Say hi to
my friends for me, peanut.

2077
01:48:31,863 --> 01:48:33,131
Wade!

2078
01:48:33,164 --> 01:48:35,166
You want to be
an annoying prick,
do it this side!

2079
01:48:35,200 --> 01:48:37,435
You're gonna die in there,
you dumb fuck!

2080
01:48:44,209 --> 01:48:46,278
Hey! You don't need
to do this.

2081
01:48:46,311 --> 01:48:48,213
I'm not doing it
'cause I need it.

2082
01:48:49,047 --> 01:48:51,349
I'm doing it
because they do.

2083
01:49:02,227 --> 01:49:03,428
No!

2084
01:49:32,724 --> 01:49:34,326
He's not gonna make it.

2085
01:49:42,901 --> 01:49:44,169
It's over.

2086
01:50:51,603 --> 01:50:53,071
<i>The Wolverine.</i>

2087
01:50:53,938 --> 01:50:55,974
<i>He's a hero in my world.</i>

2088
01:50:58,009 --> 01:50:59,144
<i>Whoever</i>
<i>you think I am,</i>

2089
01:50:59,177 --> 01:51:00,612
<i>you got the wrong guy.</i>

2090
01:51:02,046 --> 01:51:04,048
<i>You were always</i>
<i>the wrong guy...</i>

2091
01:51:05,483 --> 01:51:06,518
<i>till you weren't.</i>

2092
01:51:09,020 --> 01:51:10,422
<i>Wade.</i>

2093
01:51:12,490 --> 01:51:16,961
<i>Wade. You can finally,</i>
<i>finally matter.</i>

2094
01:51:32,812 --> 01:51:34,078
Vanessa.

2095
01:51:36,648 --> 01:51:38,016
<i>I wanna see Vanessa.</i>

2096
01:51:44,556 --> 01:51:49,127
For the first time in my life,
I am proud to wear this suit.

2097
01:51:50,094 --> 01:51:52,030
<i>It means I'm an X-Man.</i>

2098
01:51:54,432 --> 01:51:55,901
I am the X-Man.

2099
01:52:39,979 --> 01:52:41,613
Paradox.

2100
01:52:43,481 --> 01:52:44,917
You've been busy.

2101
01:52:44,950 --> 01:52:46,184
Well, somebody had to be.

2102
01:52:46,217 --> 01:52:48,086
We had some strange readings
from this location.

2103
01:52:48,119 --> 01:52:49,320
You wouldn't know
anything about

2104
01:52:49,354 --> 01:52:51,857
an unsanctioned Time Ripper,
would you?

2105
01:52:51,891 --> 01:52:53,491
Uh, no. No.
I wouldn't know anything

2106
01:52:53,525 --> 01:52:55,193
about an unsanctioned
Time Ripper.

2107
01:52:55,226 --> 01:52:56,929
Maybe you should ask
Cassandra Nova.

2108
01:52:56,962 --> 01:52:58,096
Because I was assured

2109
01:52:58,129 --> 01:53:00,532
that she was safely held
in The Void. But no,

2110
01:53:00,565 --> 01:53:02,801
she was here.
And she fondled my brain.

2111
01:53:02,835 --> 01:53:05,103
-How did you let this happen?
-You weren't involved at all?

2112
01:53:05,136 --> 01:53:07,840
In stopping her, yes!
Yes, I was.

2113
01:53:07,873 --> 01:53:09,407
But not nearly enough.

2114
01:53:09,440 --> 01:53:11,810
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.

2115
01:53:12,544 --> 01:53:13,611
My men.

2116
01:53:14,412 --> 01:53:15,413
My friends.

2117
01:53:16,748 --> 01:53:17,917
I warned them.

2118
01:53:17,950 --> 01:53:19,417
That they would be completely
obliterated if they went.

2119
01:53:19,450 --> 01:53:21,185
But they went anyway. Like...

2120
01:53:22,821 --> 01:53:24,222
Like heroes.

2121
01:53:25,991 --> 01:53:27,725
Because that's who they were.

2122
01:53:30,428 --> 01:53:32,163
They just did
what they had to do.

2123
01:53:33,298 --> 01:53:35,166
With no concern
for their own safety.

2124
01:53:38,469 --> 01:53:42,007
The fact that we are
all still standing here

2125
01:53:42,041 --> 01:53:44,843
is a testament
to their heroism.

2126
01:53:48,413 --> 01:53:49,848
Anyway, there's nothing
you or I can do

2127
01:53:49,882 --> 01:53:51,115
to bring them back now.

2128
01:53:52,584 --> 01:53:54,686
He has risen,
baby girl.

2129
01:53:54,719 --> 01:53:55,788
Fuck!

2130
01:54:15,173 --> 01:54:16,374
Found your new Anchor Being.

2131
01:54:16,407 --> 01:54:19,210
And we're doing just fine,
you piece of shit.

2132
01:54:19,243 --> 01:54:20,779
-Mm.
-Mm-hmm.

2133
01:54:20,813 --> 01:54:22,280
Fine indeed.

2134
01:54:22,313 --> 01:54:25,216
All right.
Put your greasy tits away,

2135
01:54:25,249 --> 01:54:26,317
you preening slut.

2136
01:54:26,351 --> 01:54:28,821
I don't understand.

2137
01:54:28,854 --> 01:54:30,288
How are you two still alive?

2138
01:54:30,321 --> 01:54:32,190
You were right. One
of us would have been killed.

2139
01:54:32,223 --> 01:54:34,026
But you put a Deadpool

2140
01:54:34,059 --> 01:54:35,393
and a Wolverine together,

2141
01:54:35,426 --> 01:54:37,796
make 'em hold hands
while listening to Madonna...

2142
01:54:37,830 --> 01:54:40,264
indestructible, motherfucker.

2143
01:54:40,298 --> 01:54:42,367
Let's get this Deadpool
Variant back to The Void.

2144
01:54:42,400 --> 01:54:43,701
Wait, hold on.
What?

2145
01:54:43,735 --> 01:54:44,770
Nope. Actually...

2146
01:54:44,803 --> 01:54:46,537
This one's homegrown, like me.

2147
01:54:46,571 --> 01:54:47,873
He belongs here.

2148
01:54:47,906 --> 01:54:48,941
And you are?

2149
01:54:48,974 --> 01:54:51,709
Peterpool.
But you can call me Peter.

2150
01:54:53,211 --> 01:54:54,512
And I hope that you do.

2151
01:55:00,652 --> 01:55:02,286
What the fuck
is happening here?

2152
01:55:02,320 --> 01:55:04,155
You are under judgment

2153
01:55:04,188 --> 01:55:06,190
for operating
an unsanctioned Time Ripper.

2154
01:55:06,224 --> 01:55:07,392
-Take him.
-I was just doing what

2155
01:55:07,425 --> 01:55:09,028
you don't have
the guts to do.

2156
01:55:10,161 --> 01:55:12,931
Get your insolent hands
off me! Get off!

2157
01:55:14,133 --> 01:55:15,868
I'm grateful, gentlemen.

2158
01:55:16,734 --> 01:55:17,735
Let's hold the bows.

2159
01:55:17,770 --> 01:55:20,371
You led an Omega-level mutant
to this timeline.

2160
01:55:20,405 --> 01:55:22,074
-You're welcome.
-And you

2161
01:55:22,107 --> 01:55:23,574
shouldn't even be
near this timeline.

2162
01:55:23,608 --> 01:55:25,878
-He's welcome.
-And you

2163
01:55:25,911 --> 01:55:27,745
look damn good in that suit.

2164
01:55:27,780 --> 01:55:28,881
I'm so sorry.

2165
01:55:33,284 --> 01:55:34,920
I wanna show you something.

2166
01:55:35,988 --> 01:55:37,288
Something huge.

2167
01:55:37,321 --> 01:55:39,257
That's what
Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.

2168
01:55:40,759 --> 01:55:42,326
Do you see that?

2169
01:55:42,360 --> 01:55:44,228
Your universe is regenerating.

2170
01:55:45,097 --> 01:55:46,865
Whatever you did here,

2171
01:55:46,899 --> 01:55:49,200
you not only saved your world.

2172
01:55:49,233 --> 01:55:51,736
You spared your timeline
from extinction.

2173
01:55:53,604 --> 01:55:54,773
I'd rest up.

2174
01:55:54,807 --> 01:55:57,241
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.

2175
01:55:57,275 --> 01:55:59,610
Till you're 90.

2176
01:55:59,644 --> 01:56:01,379
Wait! Um...

2177
01:56:01,412 --> 01:56:05,017
We couldn't have made it out
of The Void without some help

2178
01:56:05,050 --> 01:56:07,986
from some people
that the world kind of...

2179
01:56:08,020 --> 01:56:09,320
kind of forgot.

2180
01:56:09,353 --> 01:56:11,957
Is there any way that
you could maybe find a way

2181
01:56:11,990 --> 01:56:13,324
to bring them home?

2182
01:56:14,927 --> 01:56:16,260
I'll see what I can do.

2183
01:56:16,294 --> 01:56:18,797
And, um,
I promised my friend here

2184
01:56:18,831 --> 01:56:21,599
that the TVA could undo
some pretty awful shit

2185
01:56:21,632 --> 01:56:22,500
in his timeline.

2186
01:56:22,533 --> 01:56:24,002
What would you say to that?

2187
01:56:24,036 --> 01:56:25,536
Change the past?

2188
01:56:25,570 --> 01:56:27,840
Well, he did
help me save the world.

2189
01:56:27,873 --> 01:56:30,475
And his past made him
the man who did it.

2190
01:56:31,342 --> 01:56:33,745
There's nothing to fix,
Mr. Wilson.

2191
01:56:35,114 --> 01:56:36,347
Logan.

2192
01:56:39,717 --> 01:56:41,586
-Shawarma? Yeah.
-I could eat.

2193
01:56:51,262 --> 01:56:53,698
You know, the Avengers
discovered shawarma.

2194
01:56:54,499 --> 01:56:56,400
They'd be lucky to have you.

2195
01:57:03,508 --> 01:57:05,811
-Oh.
-Oh, come on.

2196
01:57:05,844 --> 01:57:06,879
Fuck off!

2197
01:57:08,013 --> 01:57:09,413
Come here, my little cunchkin.

2198
01:57:09,447 --> 01:57:10,983
Yes, it's you.

2199
01:57:11,016 --> 01:57:13,018
You're a survivor.

2200
01:57:13,051 --> 01:57:14,086
Mwah.

2201
01:57:14,119 --> 01:57:15,954
Oh, all is right in the world.

2202
01:57:17,189 --> 01:57:18,389
Yes, it is.

2203
01:57:20,025 --> 01:57:21,359
So what are you gonna do next?

2204
01:57:22,660 --> 01:57:24,863
I'll figure it out.
I always do.

2205
01:57:25,663 --> 01:57:26,765
All right.

2206
01:57:27,698 --> 01:57:29,433
So I'll probably
see you around?

2207
01:57:34,106 --> 01:57:35,306
Probably not.

2208
01:57:38,376 --> 01:57:39,577
See you, bub.

2209
01:57:49,087 --> 01:57:50,354
Logan.

2210
01:57:56,762 --> 01:57:58,496
Al. I'm back.

2211
01:57:58,964 --> 01:58:00,431
About damn time.

2212
01:58:00,464 --> 01:58:03,268
You holdin'? I'm all outta
devil's dandruff,

2213
01:58:03,302 --> 01:58:05,469
and I'm shaking
like an angry vibrator.

2214
01:58:05,503 --> 01:58:07,405
Thank you, Al.
We have company.

2215
01:58:08,106 --> 01:58:09,707
Althea, this is...

2216
01:58:10,309 --> 01:58:11,542
This is Logan.

2217
01:58:11,576 --> 01:58:13,611
-Nice to meet you, Logan.
-Nice to meet you, too.

2218
01:58:13,644 --> 01:58:17,282
And this little ancient anal
shit-knot is Mary Puppins.

2219
01:58:17,316 --> 01:58:19,750
Or as I like to call her,
Dogpool.

2220
01:58:19,785 --> 01:58:21,719
You want to treat yourself
to a little stroke?

2221
01:58:23,055 --> 01:58:26,191
-Get the tongue. There it is.
-Oh, my God! Motherfucker!

2222
01:58:26,225 --> 01:58:30,229
Right? It's like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin, angrily,

2223
01:58:30,262 --> 01:58:32,064
-in a bed of gonorrhea...
-Wow.

2224
01:58:32,097 --> 01:58:34,398
...and didn't stop till
the sun came up.

2225
01:58:35,433 --> 01:58:37,803
<i>Everyone wants to matter.</i>

2226
01:58:37,836 --> 01:58:41,173
<i>Turns out that you don't need</i>
<i>to be Marvel Jesus to do it.</i>

2227
01:58:41,206 --> 01:58:43,809
<i>You just need to open</i>
<i>your eyes and look around.</i>

2228
01:58:44,375 --> 01:58:45,576
<i>And if you're lucky,</i>

2229
01:58:46,377 --> 01:58:48,247
<i>you'll find a few friends.</i>

2230
01:58:48,280 --> 01:58:49,580
<i>Old friends,</i>

2231
01:58:50,414 --> 01:58:52,150
<i>and some new ones too.</i>

2232
01:58:56,721 --> 01:58:58,891
Give me the fucking dog.
Talk to the girl.

2233
01:59:09,268 --> 01:59:10,468
Oh, hi.

2234
01:59:10,501 --> 01:59:12,603
Hi.

2235
01:59:14,239 --> 01:59:15,439
You've been busy.

2236
01:59:18,310 --> 01:59:19,912
I did it for you.

2237
01:59:21,746 --> 01:59:24,383
And even if you don't want me,
I... I did it for you.

2238
01:59:33,524 --> 01:59:35,260
<i>Turns out,</i>

2239
01:59:35,294 --> 01:59:37,528
<i>I am the world-saving type.</i>

2240
01:59:37,561 --> 01:59:39,765
<i>Just look around this table</i>
<i>if you want proof.</i>

2241
01:59:40,564 --> 01:59:41,767
<i>And the best part?</i>

2242
01:59:42,500 --> 01:59:44,502
<i>Sometimes the people we save,</i>

2243
01:59:45,337 --> 01:59:47,272
<i>they save us right back.</i>

2244
02:00:26,878 --> 02:00:29,281
You're not
the only one with gifts.

2245
02:00:29,314 --> 02:00:30,648
What is this place?

2246
02:00:59,478 --> 02:01:01,380
-Nice suit.
-Zip it, Stan Lee.

2247
02:01:10,322 --> 02:01:12,758
I really like the, uh...
the art in
the Deadpool comics.

2248
02:01:12,791 --> 02:01:15,093
<i>You know, I just always felt</i>
<i>a kind of a kinship to him.</i>

2249
02:01:15,127 --> 02:01:17,996
And I just thought,
I'd like to
play that guy someday.

2250
02:01:46,491 --> 02:01:49,761
I was there for three weeks
before I shot a single thing.

2251
02:01:49,795 --> 02:01:52,030
At our first day of shooting,

2252
02:01:52,064 --> 02:01:53,899
<i>I was so nervous, man.</i>

2253
02:01:53,932 --> 02:01:56,101
Everyone was sort of going,
"Who's this guy?"

2254
02:01:56,134 --> 02:01:58,103
<i>You know,</i>
<i>there was a lot of that and,</i>

2255
02:01:58,136 --> 02:01:59,703
<i>you know,</i>
<i>"Is he gonna deliver or not?"</i>

2256
02:01:59,737 --> 02:02:01,907
You can feel
all that kind of pressure.

2257
02:02:02,974 --> 02:02:06,311
It's always the suit's fault.
Never the actor.

2258
02:02:14,853 --> 02:02:16,521
-This is...
-The only way.

2259
02:02:25,696 --> 02:02:27,999
Ah, so this is
what it feels like.

2260
02:02:30,435 --> 02:02:32,237
And there's the lights.

2261
02:02:32,270 --> 02:02:33,939
For medical research.

2262
02:02:33,972 --> 02:02:36,074
-Bye-bye, video.
-Bye.

2263
02:06:49,994 --> 02:06:52,765
I'm tired of
these absolutely vile rumors

2264
02:06:52,798 --> 02:06:54,099
that I got Johnny killed.

2265
02:06:54,966 --> 02:06:56,201
Let's look at the tape.

2266
02:06:57,402 --> 02:06:58,636
<i>In The Void,</i>

2267
02:06:58,670 --> 02:07:00,605
<i>you're either food for Alioth</i>

2268
02:07:00,638 --> 02:07:01,940
or you work for her.

2269
02:07:04,876 --> 02:07:06,211
Go on, Johnny.

2270
02:07:06,244 --> 02:07:07,879
And I'll tell you
who "her" is.

2271
02:07:07,912 --> 02:07:08,947
Cassandra Nova.

2272
02:07:08,980 --> 02:07:11,216
A megalomaniacal,
psychotic asshole.

2273
02:07:11,249 --> 02:07:13,284
A finger licking
dead-inside pixie slab

2274
02:07:13,318 --> 02:07:15,420
of third rate
dime-store nut-milk.
And I'll tell you

2275
02:07:15,453 --> 02:07:16,888
-what she can do.
-I'm listening.

2276
02:07:16,921 --> 02:07:18,791
She can lick my goddamn
cinnamon ring clean

2277
02:07:18,824 --> 02:07:20,458
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.

2278
02:07:20,492 --> 02:07:22,961
In fact, I don't give a shit
if she removes all my skin

2279
02:07:22,994 --> 02:07:24,996
and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.

2280
02:07:25,029 --> 02:07:26,131
If the last thing I do

2281
02:07:26,164 --> 02:07:28,099
in this godforsaken
cum-gutter existence

2282
02:07:28,133 --> 02:07:29,802
is light
that fuck-box on fire,

2283
02:07:29,835 --> 02:07:31,002
I still won't die happy.

2284
02:07:31,035 --> 02:07:32,670
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.

2285
02:07:32,704 --> 02:07:35,306
That's right, Wade.
I won't be happy
until I've urinated

2286
02:07:35,340 --> 02:07:36,908
on her freshly
barbecued corpse

2287
02:07:36,941 --> 02:07:38,743
and husk-fucked
the charred remains

2288
02:07:38,778 --> 02:07:40,678
while gargling
Juggernaut's juggernuts.

2289
02:07:40,712 --> 02:07:42,313
-Wow!
-And you can quote me.

2290
02:07:42,347 --> 02:07:43,783
'Kay.

2291
02:07:43,816 --> 02:07:45,250
Got you, fuckface.