ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Hard Quiz,
Shane, accountant.
Expert subject, US rocker Suzi Quatro.
Anna, lawyer.
Expert subject, multi-level marketing.
Sadie, retired nurse.
Expert subject, The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.
Gavin, public servant.
Expert subject, dirt.
Here's your host, Tom Gleeson. Yes!
Hello.
I'm a brick.
Welcome to Hard quiz. These contestants are shareholders.
Last one to overthrow the board will be tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
To be part of the show at home, go to the ABC TV iview socials.
Let's say hello. G'day, Gavin.
G'day, mate. How are you doing now? Your expert subject is dirt.
Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
Why are you into dirt?
I think, like, soil is the foundation of all life on Earth,
in particular terrestrial life, and it's a little bit overlooked.
(LAUGHTER) OK.
So, do you work with dirt
or are you just into dirt for the love of dirt?
Uh, used to work with dirt.
Really, now, it's just a passion project.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS) So, you did a PhD about dirt
because someone at uni suggested you should do it?
Yeah. Are you annoyed
that you didn't get peer pressured into doing something cool?
Yeah, a little bit. Like, I'm deeply suggestible
and, like, at least they could've picked something better.
But here we are. Now, you're a member of the Greens.
Yeah. That checks out.
Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
I don't actually know if I've paid my fees this year,
so I might not be. (LAUGHS)
Sadie? Yes.
Now, your expert subject is The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.
That's actually three subjects. (LAUGHTER)
If you had to pick one, what would it be?
Uh, the wardrobe, for sure, yeah. (LAUGHTER)
Checks out, doesn't it hurt? Dirt, wardrobe...
(LAUGHTER)
Now, you've had four kidney transplants.
Oh, yeah, I have.
Did the first ones fail or are you just hoarding them?
(LAUGHTER)
I'm a bit of a hoarder, so, yeah, I do like collecting them.
Now, you were also a registered nurse.
Is that where you got all the kidneys from?
(LAUGHTER)
Yoink!
Here you are on a trip to do the Big Red Bash.
Yeah.
That sounds like something that used to happen to me at boarding school.
(LAUGHTER)
When you had hair? Yeah.
Who's the cross-eyed weirdo in the middle?
(LAUGHS) Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
Who's that? That's little Poppy, Tom.
She's not a cross-eyed weirdo.
Is that your husband?
Yeah, that's my husband. Yep.
He said coming on Hard Quiz would be his worst fear.
He did. He said he would rather stick pins in his eyes.
Is he in the crowd? Yeah, he is.
OK. Come on down. (LAUGHTER)
Come on down.
Anna, now, your expert topic is multi-level marketing.
(LAUGHTER) SHANE: Ooh!
What sort of nonsense business talk is that?
(LAUGHTER)
Tom... Yes.
Do you wanna talk about diversifying your income streams?
(LAUGHTER) Here we go.
(APPLAUSE) Here we go.
So, how did the interest start? Seeing people on Facebook...
Right.
..post vague things about time-freedom
and, you know, "Hit me up if you want to know more about this."
And I thought, "I do want to know more about this,
"but I also know it's a trap
"so I'll have to figure out what it is without actually hitting you up."
What's the difference between MLM and a pyramid scheme?
It's a bit like the difference between, um,
say, ivory and off-white.
(LAUGHTER) Right.
OK. Good answer.
Yeah. Shane.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo! Hi, Tom.
(LAUGHTER)
Now, your expert subject is Suzi Quatro.
Yes. Yes, yes. (CHEERING)
And you're an accountant.
Do you only like her because she has a number in her name?
(LAUGHTER)
No, I love her because she's got attitude.
(LAUGHS)
So, you like her cause she rocks out? She does.
She rocks hard. Yes. Yes, yes. Do you rock hard as well?
Yes, I rock hard as well. Yes, yes.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Now, you've been in a bunch of TV commercials.
There you are in a couch. (LAUGHTER)
What ads are we looking at here? Uh, that's The Gap Shopping Village.
And the first one was Lotto Superdraw.
Yeah. What's that?
Uh, that girl Samantha, she was lovely to work with.
That was decades ago. (LAUGHTER)
Oh, we know. (LAUGHTER)
Just to clarify, yeah, just to clarify.
You've got a very subtle acting style, I like it.
Let's play Hard!
ANNOUNCER: Expert round, expert subjects.
Win or lose five points.
Steal an answer, double points.
I'll ask each you five questions on your expert subject.
Right, you get five points.
Wrong, I will take five points from you.
The rest of you can steal at any time to get double points.
Let's start with Shane and his expert subject, Suzi Quatro.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Your acting was very subtle in those ads, I liked it.
Maybe you could do an ad for Hard Quiz.
Ooh! You're already doing it!
"Would you like to watch Hard Quiz?" (LAUGHTER)
"Yes, I would."
Are you ready to go? Oh! Yes.
(LAUGHTER) Fire away.
In 1964, 14-year-old Suzi and her sister Patti
formed the all-girl rock group... (BUZZER)
Shane. Pleasure Seekers.
Incorrect. I'll finish the question.
..all-girl rock group The Pleasure Seekers,
where Suzi learned to play what instrument?
Sadie for the steal.
The bass guitar. Correct.
Double points to you. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
OK! (LAUGHTER)
I'm taking my gloves off now.
(LAUGHTER)
According to the lyrics of Quatro's 1974 number-one hit
WHERE should you "come alive"?
(BUZZER) Shane.
Devil Gate Drive. Correct.
In 2024 Quatro announced an upcoming 40th tour
of which country?
Australia. Correct.
Quatro appeared in seven episodes of Happy Days,
playing a musician who shares her name with what material?
Shane. Leather...Tuscadero.
Correct. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Last question in your set, Shane.
Still performing into her 70s, Quatro has said about stopping,
"I will retire when I go on stage, shake my ass and there is..."
Shane. Silence.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Same. (LAUGHTER)
Alright, next set of questions is for Anna on multi-level marketing.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Does everyone call it MLM? Is that standard?
Uh, probably the people who are anti-MLM call it that,
otherwise, it's just, "A great business opportunity."
(LAUGHTER)
Beginning as a door-to-door perfume business in 1886, Avon...
(BUZZER) Sadie for the steal.
Uh, lipstick. Incorrect.
I'll finish the question.
..Avon later advertised its products with the slogan,
"Ding dong, Avon WHAT?"
Shane for the steal.
Calling. Correct.
Double points for you. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
# Not just a break in your daily routine
# It's time to take time out for beauty. #
(DOORBELL RINGS) Avon calling.
(LAUGHTER)
The US Federal Trade Commission sued the company Nerium over claims
that one of their supplements could treat injuries to which organ?
It's wide open.
For the steal, it's Sadie.
Uh, the heart?
Incorrect.
Time's up. The brain.
Yeah, it was endorsed by ex-NFL footballers.
And the FTC had an issue with claims that it could prevent concussions
because unless your supplement is actually a helmet...
(LAUGHTER)
..it's doing (BLEEP) all for concussions.
(LAUGHTER)
Initially sold in department stores, Tupperware only became successful
after introducing what selling technique?
For the steal, it's Gavin.
Tupperware parties. Correct. Double points to you.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
It was announced in 2020
that MLM promotional content would be banned
from which short-form video app?
Anna.
TikTok. Correct.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Last question in your set, Anna.
In 2013, global health and wellness community Herbalife
launched a sports drink
in collaboration with which Portuguese soccer player?
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Correct.
Yeah, he says Herbalife has been an important part
of his performance-driven nutrition,
and I'm sure it has nothing to do with all the money
that he was paid to say it.
(LAUGHTER)
Anyway, ABC is my favourite network.
(LAUGHTER)
(SHANE LAUGHS LOUDLY)
Why'd I say that?
(LAUGHTER)
Time now for Sadie, and The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
The Pevensie children enter the world of Narnia
through a wardrobe in a country house,
having been evacuated from London to avoid what type of German...?
Shane for the steal.
Invasion of the UK, World War Two.
Incorrect. I'll finish the question.
..what type of German attack?
For the steal, it's Anna.
The Blitz.
Correct. Double points to you.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Author C.S. Lewis repeatedly insisted that the talking lion, Aslan,
was not an allegory for which Biblical figure?
Sadie? Jesus Christ.
Correct.
Edmund betrays his siblings
after the villainous White Witch gives him what confection?
Turkish delight. Correct.
In a sign that the White Witch's power is breaking,
Father Christmas arrives in Narnia
and gives Lucy what weapon as a present?
It's a dagger. Correct.
Yeah, Santa tells Lucy
not to use the dagger unless she really has to
because battles are ugly when women fight.
Oh!
Yeah, apparently, her gender is the problem,
not the fact that she's eight.
(LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Sadie.
According to a mutual friend, C.S. Lewis's Narnia books
were criticised for being a jumble of unrelated mythologies
by which Lord Of The Rings author?
J.R.R. Tolkien. Correct.
Last set in the expert round is Gavin and dirt.
Have a look at this.
MAN: If you take, say, a shovel of soil,
there's about 7 billion micro-organisms
in that shovel of soil.
So, if you put that into context,
that's the same number of individual microbes
as people on Earth.
A 1944 paper showed that
the streptomyces group of soil bacteria
could be used to produce what infection-fighting class of drugs?
Penicillin. Incorrect. It's wide open.
Sadie, for the steal.
It's like the gentamicin, tobramycin. Stuff like that.
Incorrect. It's still open.
For the steal, it's Anna.
Antibiotics.
Correct. Double points to you.
Yes. We couldn't accept your answer, Sadie,
because you were too specific.
The two you mentioned weren't in the 1944 paper.
Bloody hell. Who thought dirt could be so controversial?
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Soil that has remained frozen for two or more years
is commonly known by what name?
It's wide open.
Time's up. Permafrost.
Soils with a loamy texture typically contain
equal proportions of silt, sand...
Clay. Correct.
..and which other particle? Clay is correct?
Kosciuszko National Park has experienced
significant soil degradation
due to a large feral population of which animal?
Anna for the steal.
Brumbies. Correct, double points to you.
Yeah, current rates of soil degradation worldwide
mean we might run out of topsoil in 50 years or so.
(LAUGHS)
I'll be dead. I don't give a shit (LAUGHTER)
Last question in your set, Gavin.
Geophagy is the act of doing what with soil?
For the steal, it's Anna.
Eating it. Correct.
Double points to you.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Alright, we've waded through their subjects,
now let's wade through mine.
ANNOUNCER: Tom's Round. Tom's subject. Multiple choice.
This week I've been really getting into cheating.
I love cheating. Don't tell my wives.
This round is multiple choice. Select your answers on your screens
and press the buzzer to lock in the answer.
Shortly after crossing the finish line first
in the 1904 Olympic marathon,
American Fred Lorz admitted to doing what?
The answer is B, hitchhiking for 17km of the race.
Ooh.
Yeah, Thomas Hicks, who came in second,
was then announced as the winner,
even though he was the one that had used eggs with strychnine
to enhance his performance.
(LAUGHTER)
Which of these has Dwayne Johnson NOT posted on social media
as one of his cheat meals?
Shout out to the ACCC.
(LAUGHTER)
The answer is C, four meat pies and three sausage rolls.
In a 2023 survey run by website study.com,
53% of students said they had used which programme
to write an essay for them?
The answer is A, ChatGPT.
A 2022 "feis-fixing" scandal revealed that sexual favours
were being exchanged for higher scores
in what competitive dance form?
(LAUGHTER AND CHEERING)
Shout out to the ACCC. (LAUGHTER)
The answer is D, Irish dancing.
Yes, the favours were all given out without moving their arms.
(LAUGHTER)
Thank you.
Last question in my round's worth double points.
After a data breach
exposing over 35 million users' identities,
infidelity website Ashley Madison
changed its motto from "Life is short, have an affair," to what?
The answer is E, Find Your Moment.
And by the way, all of you getting that wrong was the right decision.
(LAUGHTER)
Alright, at the end of my round,
Shane and Gavin, you're both on five,
which means it's time for a bloody Hard Off!
That's right, only one of you will survive.
I'll ask just one question. First to buzz in will answer.
If you're right, you're staying.
If you're wrong, you're dead to me. Are you ready?
(LAUGHTER) According to the 2022 rankings
by educational ratings provider Niche,
which American college is harder to get into,
Harvard or Stanford?
Shane. Harvard.
Incorrect. (AUDIENCE GROANS)
The correct answer is Stanford, which means you're dead to me.
Get over here, Shane.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Even when you're failing, you seem quite happy.
My kids were right.
They all said, "You're going to be the first one off."
(LAUGHTER)
I tried to prove them wrong, but here I am.
Are you ready to go? Ready to go.
In the words of Leather Tuscadero...
(TOM LAUGHS) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
Out!
There he goes.
It's the People's Round.
ANNOUNCER: The People's Round against the clock.
Crack your knuckles. Play along at home.
Your time starts now.
A film starring Bruce Willis is the sixth WHAT?
Gavin. Sense.
Yes. On Australian bathroom taps,
the letters H and C stand for hot and WHAT?
Sadie. Cold.
Yes. Written numerically,
how many zeros are in the number 3 million?
Gavin.
Six. Yes.
Indicating a bright colour or light, "fluro" is short for what word?
Gavin. Fluorescent.
Yes. Which English playwright wrote King Lear?
Gavin.
Shakespeare. Yes.
Anger about presumed unfair treatment
is known as having a chip on what body part?
Anna.
Shoulder. Yes.
In 2023, the submersible Titan was lost
while diving to which shipwreck?
The Titanic. Yes.
Rhyming with digit, what word can mean restless movement or...
Fidget. Yes.
..or a type of sensory spinning toy? Fidget is correct.
Time's up. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Alright, at the end of the People's Round,
Sadie, you're at the bottom on 15.
Get over here. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
What do you reckon your cross-eyed dog's gonna think?
(LAUGHTER)
My cross-eyed dog's probably in the wardrobe by now.
Not coming out again. (LAUGHS)
Ah. Are you ready to go? Oh, yeah, I'm ready.
OK. Out! (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
There she goes.
Alright, only two left.
Who's going to be the Hard Quiz champion?
Anna and Gavin, get over here because it's time to play Hard Quiz.
ANNOUNCER: Final round. Head to head.
Multi-level marketing versus dirt. Hard Quiz.
Now, there can only be one Hard Quiz champion
who gets to take home the limited-edition big brass mug.
What will you do with the mug if you win, Anna?
Well, Tom, I am having a baby and it looks like about the right size
to have a big glass of prosecco.
OK. (LAUGHTER)
What about you, Gavin?
I feel like I kinda have to put a plant in it, right?
Only thematically appropriate response.
Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
Alright, it's best of five, penalty-shootout style
harder questions on your expert subjects.
So, it's Gavin's knowledge of dirt
versus Anna's knowledge of multi-level marketing.
Let's play...HARD!
Gavin, here are some of the results from a 2024 Australian study
on using fire to treat soil.
It shows that levels of nitrogen and carbon in the soil
were most improved by which technique?
Oh, it'd almost certainly be a cultural...
Probably a cold burn.
Correct.
Yeah. I would have also accepted Indigenous-led burning.
That's compared to agency-led burning and no burning at all.
Anna, in the documentary series LuLaRich,
a retailer for the clothing brand LuLaRoe
said she felt pressured by the company to travel to Mexico
and have what procedure?
I'll need the specific procedure.
So, I believe it was a type of weight-loss surgery,
but then there are a few of those.
So, what was it?
Um, I'm going to have to say a...
a gastric band.
Incorrect. The correct answer is a gastric sleeve.
(AUDIENCE GROANS)
Yeah, she was included in a group chat called the Tijuana Skinnies.
And in the end,
she got gastric balloon surgery in the US instead.
Marty.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Gavin, here's a bunch of dirt.
Put the different types of dirt
into the garden bed that best describes them.
So, feel free to use the garden tools there.
Absolutely.
So, it's easier to usually tell how coarse soil is using your tongue.
You have much more definition of exactly how coarse things are
compared to your hands.
But I think gravel should be alright.
Gravel's going to be the coarsest. That's gonna be number four.
Then, from there, we're looking for our next coarsest.
It's going to be coarse sand.
I'm fairly certain that's gonna be number one here.
Though it has got... it's a bit of a mixed media.
It's not really pure coarse sand, but that's OK.
(LAUGHTER) Fine sand...
We're gonna start to struggle a little bit,
but I think we're good on number five being our fine sand.
From there, we're looking for our sandy loam,
which is gonna be a mix,
which means it's gonna be this black number three here,
because we've got a sort of wide variety
of different grain sizes in there.
And then our fine clay should be... Yep, that's definitely...
That's gonna stick to absolutely everything.
White powder everywhere. Yeah, that's, um...
(LAUGHTER)
I think that's from my dressing room.
(LAUGHTER)
Damn. That's expensive, Tom. Yeah.
So, I think that should cover it.
Correct. (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Put that back in the... Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
Marty.
Anna...
Here are the earning levels for Herbalife distributors.
The entry level is Member,
and the highest is the Founder's Circle.
We've already filled in the first and last levels.
So, place the rest of these badge,
where they belong on the ranking system.
Mhm. OK.
I really don't know this one but I'm gonna just go off, um,
how the stones look, I suppose.
I'm going to put Supervisor there.
Uh, I don't know what's more valuable
out of a ruby and an emerald.
Um, I'm just gonna put...Get.
I don't know what that means.
Um... Oh, out of these two,
I'm gonna do it that way, I think.
Oh... Might have a last-minute... No, I'm gonna do that.
OK, so you're pretty much guessing? Yes.
Incorrect.
Get was in the wrong spot.
That goes, uh, here.
World Team goes there.
Yeah, and then the Millionaire Team goes there.
Let's just look at that and, um, take a moment to realise
just how little everyone gives a shit about it.
(LAUGHTER)
Marty.
Gavin, let's take a listen to what dirt sounds like.
(GURGLING NOISES)
Soil ecoacoustics studies the complexity of life within soil
by monitoring three main categories of sound.
Biophony is one of them. Name the other two.
I'm not going to get the technical terms,
but I'll say footstep resonance and cracking.
Incorrect.
The correct answer is geophony
and anthropophony.
Oh...
Yeah, biophony is the sound of organisms in the soil.
Anthropophony is all the human sounds
that reverberate into the soil,
and geophony is the dirt itself making a noise.
Anna, this is Market America founder J.R. Ridinger
at the company's 2018 World Conference.
We can do anything that we want
that makes us feel fulfilled and add to the world.
Come on, man, get up.
We can have it all.
What have we obscured?
I know this one
because I watched this and it will never leave my mind.
Um, he's yelling at a gravestone.
Correct.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
Yeah, it's a gravestone of Joe Nobody.
Is Joe Nobody even dead?
Like, what's the point he's trying to make?
Oh, can we just, like, all just watch the whole clip?
(LAUGHS) It's fantastic. (LAUGHTER)
Yeah, I guess what he's just trying to say, that you're like...
..because he didn't take the opportunity...
You didn't take the dream. You're a loser.
You're a nobody.
Um, yeah, you didn't grab the opportunity. Yeah.
Gavin, soil is a complex habitat
for organisms like mycorrhizal fungi,
which form a network between plant roots
often referred to by what alliterative nickname?
Yeah, so, trees seem like they can communicate
by sending chemical signals through mushroom networks underground.
Thanks for sounding like a Greens voter.
(LAUGHTER)
Mushroom mycorrhizal messages?
Incorrect. The correct answer is wood-wide web.
(LAUGHTER)
It was reported that trees could use the wood-wide web
to talk to each other,
but research was wildly exaggerated.
Anna, the co-founder
of multi-billion-dollar corporation Amway, Jay Van Andel,
was appointed chairman of which organisation in 1979?
So, I'm just trying to remember the name of it.
Um, they've both been extremely influential in political circles.
Um, and I think it's the lobby group the US Chamber of Commerce.
Correct.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
Gavin, the third edition
of the CSIRO's Australian Soil Classification,
published in 2021,
added which new order of soils defined by their sandy field texture?
Oh, that's a great question.
I'm not big on soil taxonomy. I'm not a pedologist.
The Green Book is fantastic.
Sounds great. Great resource.
Um, the question though... Or is that the red book?
I get them confused.
Um... I don't know what they are.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm gonna say tenosols even though I know it's wrong.
Incorrect. The correct answer is arenosols.
Is that the other one? No, I've never heard of it.
Great. Good stuff. (LAUGHTER)
If you're tuning in now, we are talking about dirt.
Anna, if you get this right, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
According to the book Selling the Dream,
one of the first businesses to have the structure of an MLM,
vitamin company Nutrilite
told their sellers to wear what item of clothing?
I think from memory, this is, um,
to make them look legitimate
because they were selling something that, um...
..you know, they were trying to make look like medication.
It was scientific.
I think they told them to wear lab coats.
Correct. Which means you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
Alright, Gavin, you know what this means.
Out!
There he goes.
Congratulations, Anna. You are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
Which means you get the big brass mug
and you get to do the sign-off.
Thanks for playing...HARD!
Captions by Red Bee Media
Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation
TOM: Wanna make some extra money? Ask me how.