1 00:00:17,746 --> 00:00:19,621 For a hundred years, 2 00:00:19,746 --> 00:00:23,409 one company has worked with unparalleled vision 3 00:00:23,411 --> 00:00:26,481 toward the continued safety of our great nation: 4 00:00:26,482 --> 00:00:28,079 Ammotech. 5 00:00:28,408 --> 00:00:31,489 First, we changed the game with the chain-fed machine gun, 6 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:35,298 as well as Claymore landmines. 7 00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:36,416 Next we taught those Krauts 8 00:00:36,417 --> 00:00:38,410 about another great American pastime: 9 00:00:38,411 --> 00:00:40,315 the barbecue. 10 00:00:40,317 --> 00:00:41,402 Ammotech. 11 00:00:41,404 --> 00:00:43,436 The world's leading innovator 12 00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:45,433 of weapons of mass protection. 13 00:01:22,007 --> 00:01:25,028 Clarence! Hey, listen, I'm super late 14 00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:26,265 and can't find my gate pass anywhere. 15 00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:29,238 I was hoping you could just do me a favor and... 16 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,299 - I gotta have that pass. - Yeah. Of course. 17 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:35,182 Gate pass. Gate pass. Gate pass. 18 00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:37,317 Yeah, I got it. I got it. Uh... 19 00:01:37,423 --> 00:01:40,223 The thing is, Clarence, I'm a little disorganized this morning. 20 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,225 I see, and - and it's heartbreaking. 21 00:01:43,227 --> 00:01:44,413 I got you a card on your birthday, remember? 22 00:01:44,415 --> 00:01:47,245 It had a cupcake running away from a shitload of candles. 23 00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:50,217 Look, no pass, no entry. At least without TW-100 clearance form. 24 00:01:50,219 --> 00:01:52,342 Dude, don't make me fill out that one giant form... 25 00:01:52,344 --> 00:01:55,394 No access to the premises without valid ID. 26 00:01:55,396 --> 00:01:57,278 - Prohibited. - Thanks, Clarence. 27 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,285 Next birthday, no card. 28 00:02:10,186 --> 00:02:13,147 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 29 00:02:13,149 --> 00:02:14,304 Oh. Hey. Brimble. Accounting. 30 00:02:14,306 --> 00:02:16,231 - Accounting. - Yeah. I know. 31 00:02:17,298 --> 00:02:19,283 Okay. Thanks, Tony. 32 00:02:22,255 --> 00:02:24,289 Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. 33 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,141 Door is open. 34 00:02:27,143 --> 00:02:29,235 - Dezzy Des. - Sammy Sam. 35 00:02:29,238 --> 00:02:33,105 Once again fighting a losing battle with Mondays. 36 00:02:33,107 --> 00:02:34,263 Once again busting my balls. 37 00:02:34,264 --> 00:02:37,115 Well, somebody has to do it. You haven't been on time for anything since... 38 00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:40,206 - ...ever - Not true. 39 00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:43,199 2012. NYU. Totally on time for your graduation ceremony. 40 00:02:43,201 --> 00:02:45,174 After you went out the night before and got so drunk 41 00:02:45,176 --> 00:02:47,069 that you puked during my speech. 42 00:02:47,071 --> 00:02:49,145 Don't take that as a criticism. It was a brilliant speech. 43 00:02:50,152 --> 00:02:52,046 Ever think that maybe my problem here 44 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:54,050 is that I'm just not being properly incentivized? 45 00:02:54,052 --> 00:02:56,186 Of course you are. You get to hang out with me every day. 46 00:02:58,042 --> 00:03:01,032 Give me your hand. Give me your hand. 47 00:03:01,034 --> 00:03:03,039 So you can at least try to be on time. 48 00:03:04,186 --> 00:03:06,179 Uh, thanks. 49 00:03:06,181 --> 00:03:08,016 My gift to you. 50 00:03:15,098 --> 00:03:17,050 Helen, I'll need to remain undisturbed 51 00:03:17,052 --> 00:03:18,946 throughout my meetings today. 52 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,092 Also, excellently tidy workspace. 53 00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:26,009 Love the lipstick. 54 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:30,049 I'll take my green juice in five minutes. 55 00:03:45,947 --> 00:03:47,930 - Hello? - Good morning, Desmond. 56 00:03:47,932 --> 00:03:49,954 Step into my office, please. 57 00:03:49,956 --> 00:03:51,014 Sure thing, Mr. Nusbaum. 58 00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:02,851 Helen, hi. No, no, no. Please don't get up. 59 00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:04,946 Don't get up. Don't get... Oh. 60 00:04:04,947 --> 00:04:06,893 Really, I could get the door myself if... 61 00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:12,995 You know, it's really not the assistant's job to do that. 62 00:04:13,101 --> 00:04:14,906 Anymore. 63 00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:18,953 That's very kind of you, and thank you. 64 00:04:18,955 --> 00:04:21,918 Thanks for walking me. That was great. Thank you. 65 00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:25,029 - Morning. - You're late. 66 00:04:26,994 --> 00:04:29,995 Uh, yeah. I ran into some trouble at the guard gate and... 67 00:04:29,997 --> 00:04:31,949 Yes, I've noticed that tardiness is 68 00:04:31,951 --> 00:04:33,036 a recurring motif in your life, 69 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,031 - but actually I don't care. - Hmm. 70 00:04:35,033 --> 00:04:36,996 I've called you in here regarding the merger. 71 00:04:36,998 --> 00:04:38,003 - Merger? - Yes. 72 00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:39,958 Merger, as in to merge, 73 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,860 connect, conjoin, couple or harness. 74 00:04:42,863 --> 00:04:44,846 Who are we mergering with? 75 00:04:44,848 --> 00:04:46,841 - Altria. - The cluster bomb guys. 76 00:04:46,843 --> 00:04:47,948 No, that would be Benevolencia. 77 00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,843 Altria makes the VX gas, 78 00:04:49,845 --> 00:04:50,952 weaponized anthrax, and of course... 79 00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:53,934 the all-terrain jet ski. 80 00:04:54,922 --> 00:04:56,915 Boy, they've had a great year. 81 00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:58,869 We might get a leg up on them if we develop 82 00:04:58,871 --> 00:05:01,914 an all-terrain jet ski that shoots weaponized anthrax. 83 00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:06,938 Possible. I'll email Development. 84 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,980 By the by, R and D has been banging down my door 85 00:05:09,982 --> 00:05:11,955 regarding the Clayton report. 86 00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:13,972 Now, what is the ETA on that exactly? 87 00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:16,824 On its way. 88 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,876 Excellent. Well, whichever of those is your best foot, 89 00:05:22,878 --> 00:05:24,851 I suggest you put it forward, Desmond, 90 00:05:24,853 --> 00:05:26,886 because I can assure you that not all of us 91 00:05:26,888 --> 00:05:28,863 are going to be here at the end of the week. 92 00:05:30,927 --> 00:05:32,723 Goodbye. 93 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:40,800 Desmond. 94 00:05:40,802 --> 00:05:41,769 Psst. 95 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:47,733 Desmond. 96 00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:51,810 You get fired or what? 97 00:05:51,813 --> 00:05:53,796 Not as far as I know. 98 00:05:53,798 --> 00:05:55,763 I got a cousin at Altria. 99 00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,834 They already laid off half of their accounting staff. 100 00:05:59,822 --> 00:06:02,793 You know what that means. Half of us are going, too. 101 00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:05,625 It's already started. 102 00:06:05,627 --> 00:06:08,786 Meg's desk is empty. Heard she got axed last night. 103 00:06:08,789 --> 00:06:11,739 Worst part. Her severance package: 104 00:06:11,741 --> 00:06:13,604 an Ammotech T-shirt. 105 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,699 A fucking T-shirt? 106 00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:16,816 My Uncle Usef warned me about this. 107 00:06:16,818 --> 00:06:20,685 He said America is nothing but downsizing, heart disease, 108 00:06:20,688 --> 00:06:24,605 and billboards that give you an unnatural desire for white women. 109 00:06:24,607 --> 00:06:26,650 - Why did I not listen? - Why did I not listen? 110 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,625 - I keep saying that to myself. - I was told not to work here. 111 00:06:28,627 --> 00:06:30,692 Guys. Hey! 112 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,611 Relax, okay. 113 00:06:33,614 --> 00:06:34,739 We don't know for sure, 114 00:06:34,741 --> 00:06:36,694 so let's just assume everything's gonna be fine, 115 00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,576 and hey, if it does happen, you know what they say: 116 00:06:39,578 --> 00:06:40,716 When one door opens, another door closes. 117 00:06:41,682 --> 00:06:42,730 What? 118 00:06:43,747 --> 00:06:45,521 I got that backwards. When one door... 119 00:06:45,523 --> 00:06:46,698 See you, bitches. 120 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,593 Hey, Lentworth. 121 00:06:48,595 --> 00:06:51,555 No offense, but... but you're really fucking old, 122 00:06:51,557 --> 00:06:53,520 and nobody really knows what you do here anyway, 123 00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:55,604 so if anyone's gonna go, it's gonna be you 124 00:06:55,606 --> 00:06:57,529 or Johnny Jihadi over here. 125 00:06:57,635 --> 00:07:01,713 Marcus, the racist, moronic statements you're making 126 00:07:01,715 --> 00:07:03,618 are no match for the wall of serenity 127 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:04,705 I've created around myself. 128 00:07:04,707 --> 00:07:06,650 You know what I really miss, Mohammed? 129 00:07:06,652 --> 00:07:08,565 Wearing my shoes at the airport. 130 00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,679 One, uh, my name is Mourad, okay. 131 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,674 And two, I grew up in Jakarta, 132 00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:14,559 which is a long way from the Middle East, 133 00:07:14,561 --> 00:07:15,746 - and three, for the billionth... - You're a pacifist, 134 00:07:15,748 --> 00:07:17,711 one who just happens to work at a weapons company. 135 00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:19,706 - Come on. - I have student loans. 136 00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:22,619 Yeah, whatever. If the ax is gonna fall, 137 00:07:22,621 --> 00:07:24,603 it's gonna fall on one of you bitches. 138 00:07:24,605 --> 00:07:27,596 Now, me, I'm co-deputy regional manager. 139 00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:29,500 I'll probably be promoted. 140 00:07:29,502 --> 00:07:30,727 Well, it helps that you're Mr. Gantt's nephew, 141 00:07:30,729 --> 00:07:33,661 That's true. So who's it gonna be? 142 00:07:35,676 --> 00:07:37,540 Well, I... 143 00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:40,481 I can't get fired. I got a... I got a mortgage, 144 00:07:40,483 --> 00:07:42,676 alimony, two kids in college. 145 00:07:42,678 --> 00:07:45,528 Viagra's a fortune. Oh, God. 146 00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:46,588 I'm so screwed. 147 00:07:47,585 --> 00:07:50,635 I am so screwed. 148 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,598 See, what you need to do is you just grab a key 149 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,490 and you stab someone's ass to death with it. 150 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,622 That's the only way you're gonna keep a job. 151 00:07:59,624 --> 00:08:01,417 Make a choice. 152 00:08:01,419 --> 00:08:02,465 Lentworth. 153 00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:05,458 - Step into my office, please. - Ooh, too late. 154 00:08:13,428 --> 00:08:15,580 I think my old boss is still at Fishsticks. 155 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,547 - I can still make fish. - Good luck. 156 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:40,385 Dr. Frohm. Line 1. 157 00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:42,500 Hey, Mr. Corn to Sean Penis. 158 00:08:42,502 --> 00:08:44,335 - Hello? - It's Dr. Frohm. 159 00:08:44,338 --> 00:08:46,431 Get your ass down to R and D right now. 160 00:08:52,986 --> 00:08:54,972 How to survive a day at Ammotech. 161 00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:58,890 One. Always have a clipboard in hand. 162 00:08:58,892 --> 00:09:01,811 The busier you look, the more invisible you become. 163 00:09:01,814 --> 00:09:03,806 - Hey, Des, uh... - Step two. 164 00:09:03,808 --> 00:09:06,789 If you get cornered, know the lingo. 165 00:09:06,791 --> 00:09:07,846 Desmond! 166 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,769 We got a problem with our purchase orders over in R and D. 167 00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:12,793 I can totally get you those CPCs. Just draft an RFP 168 00:09:12,795 --> 00:09:14,957 and we can reconvene AEOD for some THC. Cool? 169 00:09:14,959 --> 00:09:16,782 Sure. 170 00:09:16,784 --> 00:09:17,792 THC? 171 00:09:18,779 --> 00:09:19,954 All right, let's start pissing brain juice. 172 00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:21,820 Sloganball time. Maxwell. 173 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:22,956 The M26 Mega-Taser. 174 00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,749 50,000 volts of stopping power. 175 00:09:25,751 --> 00:09:27,824 Nice slogan. Sloganize me, Bertrand. 176 00:09:27,826 --> 00:09:30,916 Uh, M26. It will zap until you crap. 177 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:31,933 - Yeah. - Hear! Hear! 178 00:09:31,935 --> 00:09:33,858 Three. When others try to pull you in, 179 00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:34,905 do not give them anything useful 180 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,860 or they'll expect it every time. 181 00:09:36,863 --> 00:09:37,899 Desmond! 182 00:09:39,795 --> 00:09:41,707 Sloganize me. 183 00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:42,865 Uh, sure. 184 00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,695 The M26 Mega-Taser. 185 00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:47,794 A lot more gentle than a Glock. 186 00:09:49,819 --> 00:09:51,831 - I don't... - Yes. 187 00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:54,724 - It's kinda medium. - Good try, man. 188 00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:57,726 Not the best idea I've ever heard, but okay. 189 00:09:57,728 --> 00:09:59,750 Go back to the mailroom, you loser. 190 00:09:59,752 --> 00:10:02,653 - It's a bad idea. - Unless you want me to hire this moron, 191 00:10:02,655 --> 00:10:03,809 start coming up with real ideas. 192 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,725 Four. 193 00:10:05,727 --> 00:10:07,729 Remember, the higher the office, 194 00:10:07,731 --> 00:10:08,759 the bigger the douchebag. 195 00:10:16,698 --> 00:10:18,691 Take the sales dudes for example. 196 00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:21,605 The V-22 will turn that target into toothpaste. 197 00:10:21,765 --> 00:10:24,605 Very good choice, my friend. See you soon. 198 00:10:24,607 --> 00:10:26,780 Boom! I just fucked that clown in the ass. 199 00:10:26,782 --> 00:10:29,553 What's up, Hofnagle? Let me show you how I just did that. 200 00:10:29,554 --> 00:10:31,568 USA! USA! 201 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:33,543 America! Woo! 202 00:10:33,544 --> 00:10:34,631 This is what winning feels like. 203 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,622 At Ammotech, 204 00:10:37,624 --> 00:10:39,617 we make weapons of mass protection. 205 00:10:39,619 --> 00:10:41,631 Five. When processing orders, 206 00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:44,644 remember, you are the one in power. 207 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,526 Does it really take this long 208 00:10:47,528 --> 00:10:49,610 to get an order processed by you, Desmond? 209 00:10:49,613 --> 00:10:50,727 It's been over a month, and I still don't have 210 00:10:50,729 --> 00:10:52,713 that boron silicate hydroxide I want. 211 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,778 When did we, uh, get the robot? 212 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,654 Robots don't have people in them. 213 00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,678 This is an XL-9 Patrol Suit. 214 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,653 One of six fully operational models. 215 00:11:01,655 --> 00:11:03,630 First-ever green tech. 216 00:11:04,588 --> 00:11:05,765 Runs solely on organic material. 217 00:11:06,702 --> 00:11:08,655 So when people think Ammotech, they'll think, 218 00:11:08,657 --> 00:11:09,695 "Friend to the environment." 219 00:11:10,681 --> 00:11:12,774 Oh, I don't care about the environment. 220 00:11:12,776 --> 00:11:16,595 What I do care about is that if we're up in the Afghan hills 221 00:11:16,596 --> 00:11:18,739 and this thing runs out of gas, I can just grab an armadillo, 222 00:11:18,741 --> 00:11:22,628 throw it in the back, and continue to rain hell down on the hajjis. 223 00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:25,701 Actually, armadillos are only found in Central and North America. 224 00:11:25,702 --> 00:11:27,585 I did a paper on them in high school. 225 00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:30,498 And did you know they can hold their breath for up to six minutes? 226 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,575 I give zero fucks about what you're saying right now. 227 00:11:33,552 --> 00:11:35,695 I want those purchase orders double-timed. 228 00:11:35,697 --> 00:11:37,509 Do you understand me? 229 00:11:37,511 --> 00:11:39,626 They're vital to a product that we are working on. 230 00:11:40,614 --> 00:11:41,581 Got it? 231 00:11:43,696 --> 00:11:44,653 Great. Thanks, bud. 232 00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:49,528 Oh, um, I wouldn't stand there if I were you. 233 00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:50,557 Why? 234 00:12:03,564 --> 00:12:04,551 Oh, shit. 235 00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,436 What? 236 00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:11,451 I didn't have an official number for this, 237 00:12:11,453 --> 00:12:13,396 but I just thought of it and it's pretty important, 238 00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:14,543 so let's call it 5B. 239 00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:16,588 If someone's a dick, you have the option 240 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,493 of making their life hell 241 00:12:18,495 --> 00:12:20,507 with your hidden accounting superpower: 242 00:12:20,509 --> 00:12:22,482 Losing the paperwork. 243 00:12:22,484 --> 00:12:24,418 - I said it's not ready. - Look, 244 00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,532 you're not in charge and it's not your job. 245 00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:28,357 Do you understand? 246 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,446 What are you looking at, fucknuts? 247 00:12:32,448 --> 00:12:33,446 Get that order in. 248 00:12:35,341 --> 00:12:36,358 Sure thing, Doc. 249 00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:39,439 Six. 250 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,516 To minimize job stress, 251 00:12:40,518 --> 00:12:42,441 practice your breathing techniques. 252 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:59,286 Anyway... they shot a pig with the mech suit 253 00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:00,335 and now I'm, like... 254 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,285 wearing some of it. 255 00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:08,651 I thought that was a design on your shirt. 256 00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:11,496 I'm okay. 257 00:13:11,818 --> 00:13:12,825 I'm okay. 258 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:18,940 To being newly... 259 00:13:19,847 --> 00:13:21,780 ...unemployed. 260 00:13:21,782 --> 00:13:22,897 Yeah! 261 00:13:22,899 --> 00:13:24,763 Fuck this place, man. 262 00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:25,851 My God, this guy. 263 00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,827 This bring us to our final entry, 264 00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:42,895 number seven. 265 00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,892 Work on your own shit at work. 266 00:13:49,769 --> 00:13:52,709 Every one of us could get shitcanned tomorrow, 267 00:13:52,711 --> 00:13:54,853 so spend a little time working on your fallback plan. 268 00:13:54,855 --> 00:13:56,819 William Faulkner wrote one of his books 269 00:13:56,821 --> 00:13:58,714 using a wheelbarrow as a desk 270 00:13:58,716 --> 00:14:00,818 while working on some graveyard shift. 271 00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:04,658 Me, I've been designing a video game app. 272 00:14:04,659 --> 00:14:05,795 Basically a continuous runner 273 00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:07,809 where a guy who is stoned, and remains stoned, 274 00:14:07,811 --> 00:14:09,824 is looking for munchies, and if he reaches the end, 275 00:14:09,826 --> 00:14:11,679 him and his girlfriend... 276 00:14:11,681 --> 00:14:12,629 You know what? 277 00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:14,681 I shouldn't be pitching it right now. 278 00:14:14,683 --> 00:14:16,628 It's still in the design stage. 279 00:14:21,265 --> 00:14:24,155 Accounting. Hope you're having a blessed day. How may I help you? 280 00:14:24,157 --> 00:14:26,122 This is Adam Nusbaum speaking. 281 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:29,222 I've just now noticed the sign on my door reads 282 00:14:29,224 --> 00:14:31,246 A. Nusbaum. 283 00:14:31,248 --> 00:14:33,233 Why did no one bring this to my attention? 284 00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:42,257 Desmond, I assure you this would be a lot funnier 285 00:14:42,259 --> 00:14:45,202 if your voice even remotely resembled Mr. Nusbaum's. 286 00:14:47,088 --> 00:14:49,140 I think you're working way too hard. 287 00:14:49,142 --> 00:14:51,126 Take a moment and kick back. 288 00:14:54,883 --> 00:14:56,817 - Jesus. - I'm hungry. 289 00:14:56,819 --> 00:14:58,742 Are you hungry? We should order pizza. 290 00:14:58,743 --> 00:14:59,828 I'd very much like to do my work. 291 00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:03,628 We'll split one. In honor of this shitty day, I'll buy. 292 00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:04,735 Okay, you can't do that. 293 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,691 Employees can no longer make outgoing calls. 294 00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:07,848 - Do you ever read any e-mails? - What? 295 00:15:07,849 --> 00:15:10,650 - Call center. How can I help you? - Hi. 296 00:15:10,652 --> 00:15:13,772 Why do you exist? 297 00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:15,607 Excuse me? 298 00:15:15,609 --> 00:15:16,824 Why do I have to go through you to call out somewhere? 299 00:15:16,826 --> 00:15:19,717 Due to the number of personal calls made on company time, 300 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,731 we've been put in as a cost-cutting measure. 301 00:15:21,733 --> 00:15:23,676 Oh. In order to cut costs, 302 00:15:23,678 --> 00:15:24,783 they created a brand-new department? 303 00:15:24,785 --> 00:15:25,801 Yes. 304 00:15:25,802 --> 00:15:28,564 - Can I order a pizza? - No. 305 00:15:28,566 --> 00:15:29,563 Have a nice day. 306 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,650 - This is an outrage. - Will you stop, okay. 307 00:15:33,652 --> 00:15:35,635 Seriously. Listen, I know you don't care 308 00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,620 if you lose this job, but I do. 309 00:15:37,622 --> 00:15:40,611 Okay? If you hate this place so much, just quit. 310 00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:43,546 Let someone else who wants a job keep theirs. 311 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,556 I don't want to lose my job. 312 00:15:46,558 --> 00:15:48,671 This is the best job in the world. 313 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,514 Look, I get all the free coffee I can consume, 314 00:15:51,516 --> 00:15:53,558 full health and dental, and I get to work on my game. 315 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,491 - Oh, Stoner Snatch? - That was the working title, 316 00:15:56,493 --> 00:15:59,482 but it's now Bake... and Take. 317 00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:00,700 You've been working on it for three years. 318 00:16:00,701 --> 00:16:02,645 And it shows, brother. It shows. 319 00:16:02,647 --> 00:16:04,540 I mean, the detail, Mo. I mean, seriously... 320 00:16:04,542 --> 00:16:06,666 Oh, I think you stay for a different reason. 321 00:16:08,581 --> 00:16:10,596 - Wendy? - No. 322 00:16:11,653 --> 00:16:13,646 "Dezzy Des. Sammy Sam." 323 00:16:13,648 --> 00:16:16,659 Samantha? 324 00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:20,450 Please. 325 00:16:23,511 --> 00:16:26,443 Dude, we grew up together. She's my homie. 326 00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:27,619 And besides, we have a deal. 327 00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,515 Oh, what's the deal? 328 00:16:29,517 --> 00:16:30,601 I'm bad with relationships, 329 00:16:30,603 --> 00:16:32,558 so why risk ruining a good friendship? 330 00:16:33,605 --> 00:16:36,476 Okay, but don't you want sex? 331 00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:38,411 I have sex. 332 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,598 How? You're not in a relationship. 333 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,493 I have sex with women I'm not in a relationship with. 334 00:16:43,559 --> 00:16:45,563 God, I wish I had your face. 335 00:16:45,565 --> 00:16:47,459 - What? - Nothing. 336 00:16:48,436 --> 00:16:51,349 Never mind. Go... fix your hair. 337 00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,476 Would everyone please report 338 00:16:55,478 --> 00:16:57,501 to the 4:00 p.m. motivational seminar? 339 00:16:57,503 --> 00:16:59,506 - Thank you. - Get up. 340 00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:02,498 I heard your department was a slaughterhouse today? 341 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,364 Don't worry. I dodged the meat grinder. 342 00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:06,428 Desmond Brimble shall live to mail it in another day. 343 00:17:06,430 --> 00:17:10,427 Okay, can you just listen like an adult for ten seconds? 344 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,495 Okay. 345 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:14,368 I know you'd rather be playing Mario Kart, 346 00:17:14,369 --> 00:17:16,402 but if you get fired, that makes me look bad. 347 00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:18,486 So do me a favor, okay. 348 00:17:18,489 --> 00:17:21,429 No more fucking up. 349 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,403 You got it. No more fuck-up-ery. 350 00:17:26,318 --> 00:17:28,360 I'm setting an alarm as a little reminder 351 00:17:28,363 --> 00:17:30,256 to come by my office tomorrow 352 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:33,318 and tell me how impressed Nusbaum is with your report! 353 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,434 Count on it. 354 00:17:34,436 --> 00:17:36,450 Ladies and gentlemen... 355 00:17:36,452 --> 00:17:38,334 - it is my great honor... - Love you, Des. 356 00:17:38,336 --> 00:17:41,307 ...to introduce Ammotech CEO 357 00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:43,211 Franklin Gantt. 358 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,353 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 359 00:17:51,353 --> 00:17:54,303 I know many of you are asking yourselves... 360 00:17:54,305 --> 00:17:56,228 Why are we having a motivational seminar 361 00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:58,183 when we're laying off 40 percent of our workforce? 362 00:17:58,184 --> 00:18:01,245 ...the best defense manufacturer on the planet, 363 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,309 and I say to you, you are... 364 00:18:03,311 --> 00:18:05,225 - I gotta go. - Where are you going? 365 00:18:05,226 --> 00:18:07,279 I have a report to finish. Start, actually. 366 00:18:07,281 --> 00:18:10,211 Don't leave us here with these people, man. Fuck. 367 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,169 ...our history of great products. 368 00:18:13,146 --> 00:18:15,358 And now, onto our newest product, 369 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:20,175 Zolt, it will awaken the warrior within. 370 00:18:20,177 --> 00:18:23,207 But first things first. Who's thirsty? 371 00:18:36,096 --> 00:18:37,291 Hey, go, go, go, go! 372 00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,196 Oh, Sam! 373 00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:41,131 Sam! 374 00:18:41,132 --> 00:18:43,245 Des, what up? 375 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:46,168 Whoa, you're off early. What, did you finally quit, hmm? 376 00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,263 No. Actually, I recommitted myself to it. 377 00:18:48,265 --> 00:18:51,105 Yeah, right. 378 00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:53,100 Well, someone's gotta pay the rent around here. 379 00:18:53,101 --> 00:18:55,234 I told you, I will pay rent 380 00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:57,199 once my lawsuit check comes in. 381 00:18:57,201 --> 00:19:00,022 Those fucks at the Make-A-Wish Foundation 382 00:19:00,024 --> 00:19:01,119 cannot hide from me. 383 00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,125 Always fighting the good fight, Fred. 384 00:19:07,016 --> 00:19:09,157 Hey, come play Mario Kart with us. 385 00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:11,182 Dude, I'm telling you, I got a report due in the morning, 386 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:14,115 I've been putting it off all week, I gotta focus. 387 00:19:14,117 --> 00:19:16,140 Get your ass up and quit being a pussy. 388 00:19:16,142 --> 00:19:18,065 - Let's go. - Yeah, you're being a pussy. 389 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,092 Pussies are tough, Freddy. 390 00:19:19,094 --> 00:19:20,179 They can take a pummeling and spit out 391 00:19:20,181 --> 00:19:22,026 an entirely new human being. 392 00:19:23,173 --> 00:19:26,005 - Never thought of it like that. - That's weird. 393 00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:29,126 We'll see you outside, huh? 394 00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:32,996 Nope. Not gonna happen. 395 00:19:32,998 --> 00:19:34,053 Come on. Let's go out back. 396 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,108 Battle mode! 397 00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:54,050 Hang on, bud. 398 00:19:54,052 --> 00:19:56,055 Pussy! Pussy! 399 00:19:56,057 --> 00:19:58,998 Tell me this is not the greatest Tuesday ever! 400 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,084 It's Monday. What the fuck? 401 00:20:00,086 --> 00:20:02,009 Who gives a shit, bitch? 402 00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:06,997 Move your fucking ass, Luigi! 403 00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,972 Losing is not an option! 404 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,978 - Oh, shit! - You son of a bitch! 405 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,015 No. 406 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,827 No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. 407 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,921 No. No! Fuck! 408 00:20:39,953 --> 00:20:41,907 Pass... 409 00:20:42,915 --> 00:20:44,950 Gate pass, gate pass, gate pass, gate pass. 410 00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:10,135 Brimble. Accounting. 411 00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:11,154 Thanks, Tony. 412 00:21:34,075 --> 00:21:36,975 - Hello? - Brimble. My office. 413 00:21:36,977 --> 00:21:38,922 - Now. - Sure thing, Mr. Nusbaum. 414 00:22:12,859 --> 00:22:14,981 What is that stuff? I saw them making it down in R and D. 415 00:22:14,983 --> 00:22:17,934 I heard a report on the news today, Desmond, 416 00:22:17,935 --> 00:22:20,916 about villagers in Africa who are so poor 417 00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:22,921 that they have resorted to eating pancakes 418 00:22:22,923 --> 00:22:24,746 made of fried dirt. 419 00:22:24,748 --> 00:22:26,841 Have you heard about this? 420 00:22:26,843 --> 00:22:28,776 I missed that one. 421 00:22:28,777 --> 00:22:29,923 Dirt, Desmond, 422 00:22:29,925 --> 00:22:32,766 fried... dirt, and it got me thinking. 423 00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:33,845 Do you know who has a lot of dirt? 424 00:22:35,759 --> 00:22:36,736 We do. 425 00:22:37,794 --> 00:22:39,847 We could make our own pancakes out of fried dirt, 426 00:22:39,849 --> 00:22:42,789 export them to these poor, poor people 427 00:22:42,791 --> 00:22:44,894 for pennies on the dollar... 428 00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:47,698 ...and get a great contract with the Red Cross. 429 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:01,799 Whoa! 430 00:23:01,801 --> 00:23:03,866 - That's... - Was Jerry Solomon. 431 00:23:05,701 --> 00:23:07,724 Decent supervisor, but unfortunately, 432 00:23:07,726 --> 00:23:09,789 his weight indicated a certain lack 433 00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:11,654 of impulse control. 434 00:23:11,655 --> 00:23:12,791 Did you know that type II diabetes 435 00:23:12,793 --> 00:23:15,633 is one of the biggest drains on corporate healthcare? 436 00:23:15,635 --> 00:23:17,718 Also, his spelling was atrocious. 437 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,800 - Uh... - Errors everywhere. 438 00:23:20,802 --> 00:23:23,732 He had to go. 439 00:23:23,734 --> 00:23:26,595 - Uh, I... I should... - Let me read your report. 440 00:23:26,597 --> 00:23:28,599 I think I need a little more time. 441 00:23:38,645 --> 00:23:41,635 Paragraph three. You make very creative use 442 00:23:41,638 --> 00:23:42,695 of the word... 443 00:23:47,532 --> 00:23:48,649 "whom." 444 00:23:49,656 --> 00:23:50,654 "Whom?" 445 00:23:51,601 --> 00:23:52,736 As in the objective in relation 446 00:23:52,739 --> 00:23:56,606 to the subjective pronoun "who." 447 00:23:56,608 --> 00:23:58,671 Right, i.e., "With whom are you going to the movies?" 448 00:23:58,673 --> 00:24:01,503 - E.g.! - What? 449 00:24:01,505 --> 00:24:04,716 E.g., Brimble, not i.e. 450 00:24:04,718 --> 00:24:08,575 I.e. means id est, which is Latin for "in other words." 451 00:24:08,577 --> 00:24:10,690 E.g. means exempli gratia, 452 00:24:10,692 --> 00:24:13,632 which is Latin for "for example." 453 00:24:13,634 --> 00:24:15,597 Why is this so hard to understand? 454 00:24:15,599 --> 00:24:19,477 This is not f-f-f-f... 455 00:24:19,479 --> 00:24:21,631 ...fucking string theory! 456 00:24:21,633 --> 00:24:23,496 I get it. I get it. Reread it. 457 00:24:23,498 --> 00:24:26,539 It says, "With whom does our company compete?" 458 00:24:26,541 --> 00:24:27,598 That's correct, yeah? 459 00:24:32,455 --> 00:24:33,502 My mistake. 460 00:24:34,529 --> 00:24:35,617 - Thank you. - Except... 461 00:24:37,581 --> 00:24:40,392 you did spell my name incorrectly. 462 00:24:40,394 --> 00:24:42,567 - What? N-U-S-B... What? - So, Desmond. 463 00:24:42,569 --> 00:24:44,561 I can't have... What the fuck are you talking about? 464 00:24:44,564 --> 00:24:46,596 I'm afraid that we're going to have to let you go. 465 00:24:46,598 --> 00:24:49,399 No, no, no, no! 466 00:24:51,455 --> 00:24:53,568 Desmond, don't be too sad. 467 00:24:53,570 --> 00:24:56,463 We do have a killer severance package. 468 00:24:59,365 --> 00:25:01,479 Oh, shit! Oh! 469 00:25:20,335 --> 00:25:22,199 What the fuck? 470 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,285 Carter. 471 00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:25,271 You have any idea what the hell's going on? 472 00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:27,316 - We gotta get out of here. - Go away. 473 00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:29,102 I'm working! 474 00:25:34,219 --> 00:25:36,093 Okay. I'm gone. 475 00:25:36,094 --> 00:25:37,291 Just keep pounding away and I'll... 476 00:25:43,235 --> 00:25:47,255 - I didn't have that saved. - Oh. 477 00:25:48,273 --> 00:25:50,088 That's terrible, man. 478 00:25:51,115 --> 00:25:53,188 Maybe we could, um, check autosave? 479 00:25:53,190 --> 00:25:54,225 Might be a backup somewhere? 480 00:25:54,227 --> 00:25:56,259 Forget it. I'll retype it for you. 481 00:25:56,261 --> 00:25:58,057 No, no, no, no! Don't! 482 00:26:10,026 --> 00:26:12,141 Are you okay? Oh, shit. 483 00:26:15,182 --> 00:26:17,095 Carter, wait! 484 00:26:39,010 --> 00:26:40,953 Ammotech. How may I direct your call? 485 00:26:40,955 --> 00:26:42,050 Help me. They're trying to kill me. 486 00:26:42,052 --> 00:26:43,138 Put me through to 911. 487 00:26:43,140 --> 00:26:45,082 Where are you calling from, sir? 488 00:26:45,084 --> 00:26:47,057 I'm in a safe place. 489 00:26:47,059 --> 00:26:49,111 - Now put me through to the cops. - One moment, sir. 490 00:26:49,114 --> 00:26:51,047 Just let me check with my supervisor. 491 00:26:51,049 --> 00:26:52,952 No, no, no. You don't understand. 492 00:26:52,953 --> 00:26:54,936 I'm stuck on the fourth floor with a bunch of psychos. 493 00:26:54,939 --> 00:26:56,094 They got a hold of this green shit that was not really... 494 00:26:56,096 --> 00:26:58,916 Sir, company policy prohibits 495 00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:00,971 any outside calls without appropriate clearance. 496 00:27:00,973 --> 00:27:02,996 You don't need to check with anyone. Just fucking do it. 497 00:27:02,998 --> 00:27:05,938 Sir, company policy prohibits abusive language. 498 00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:08,032 If you'll consult the employee manuals, it's all right there. 499 00:27:08,034 --> 00:27:10,975 Okay, I'm sorry. Please, just do whatever it is you need to do, 500 00:27:10,977 --> 00:27:12,870 - then put me through to the cops. - Sir, company policy... 501 00:27:12,872 --> 00:27:13,888 Shut the fuck up! 502 00:27:39,821 --> 00:27:40,978 We need catchphrases! Hit me! 503 00:27:41,966 --> 00:27:42,983 Hit me! 504 00:27:44,749 --> 00:27:45,923 Zolt. You'll like it, 505 00:27:45,925 --> 00:27:48,816 or I'll rip out your fucking spine! 506 00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:51,808 Beautiful. Give it to me. 507 00:27:51,810 --> 00:27:53,753 Zolt! You will like it, 508 00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,818 or I will barbecue your children 509 00:27:55,820 --> 00:27:58,850 while sodomizing the family dog! 510 00:27:58,852 --> 00:28:00,817 I like it! 511 00:28:04,916 --> 00:28:07,686 Decapitation's the way to go, guys. 512 00:28:07,689 --> 00:28:09,891 Lucky bastard probably didn't even feel a thing. 513 00:28:09,893 --> 00:28:12,683 Desmond! 514 00:28:13,882 --> 00:28:15,835 Sloganize me. 515 00:28:15,838 --> 00:28:18,788 Sloganize. Sloganize. 516 00:28:18,790 --> 00:28:21,790 Sloganize. Sloganize. 517 00:28:21,792 --> 00:28:24,842 Sloganize. Sloganize. 518 00:28:24,844 --> 00:28:26,736 Sloganize. 519 00:28:26,739 --> 00:28:28,831 Zolt. It's green... 520 00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:30,756 uh... 521 00:28:30,758 --> 00:28:32,771 and strong? 522 00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:35,816 Strong. 523 00:28:38,768 --> 00:28:40,652 Uh, now with taurine. 524 00:28:43,704 --> 00:28:46,635 That is kind of okay. It's a little okay. 525 00:28:46,636 --> 00:28:48,700 It's a little fucking stupid, but okay. 526 00:28:48,701 --> 00:28:49,707 That's good. 527 00:28:49,709 --> 00:28:50,776 Next! 528 00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:58,644 Oh, shit. Sam. 529 00:28:58,646 --> 00:29:00,578 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 530 00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:01,777 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 531 00:29:13,556 --> 00:29:14,672 Thank God you're all right. 532 00:29:14,674 --> 00:29:17,546 Wow. What got into you last night? 533 00:29:18,574 --> 00:29:20,617 Come on. We have to leave. This place is full of lunatics. 534 00:29:20,618 --> 00:29:22,573 - Are you high? - No. 535 00:29:23,630 --> 00:29:24,716 - No. - Okay. 536 00:29:24,718 --> 00:29:26,671 Whatever it is, clearly nothing I said 537 00:29:26,673 --> 00:29:28,555 got through to you yesterday. 538 00:29:28,557 --> 00:29:30,610 Okay. Listen. I get you want to save this place, 539 00:29:30,613 --> 00:29:32,595 but this place is beyond fucking saving. 540 00:29:32,597 --> 00:29:34,520 Now come on. Let's go. 541 00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:35,559 - Let go! - Whoa! 542 00:29:36,647 --> 00:29:38,671 Des, are you okay? 543 00:29:40,467 --> 00:29:41,622 How many of those have you had? 544 00:29:41,623 --> 00:29:42,601 This? 545 00:29:43,618 --> 00:29:46,479 Um... like half. 546 00:29:46,481 --> 00:29:47,518 Wait, wait. Wait. 547 00:29:48,516 --> 00:29:50,469 I just wanted to, uh, taste it. 548 00:29:50,471 --> 00:29:52,464 Okay. Well, get your own. They're all over the building. 549 00:29:52,466 --> 00:29:55,447 Now, I have a lot of work to do, and I'm really behind, so... 550 00:29:56,615 --> 00:29:59,527 You spilled my Zolt. 551 00:30:06,598 --> 00:30:10,548 Whoa. That was like falling asleep behind the wheel. 552 00:30:11,575 --> 00:30:13,489 What are you doing on the floor? 553 00:30:13,491 --> 00:30:16,432 Uh, I'll explain once we get the fuck out of here. 554 00:30:19,415 --> 00:30:20,463 You broke my picture! 555 00:30:21,459 --> 00:30:22,505 Shit! 556 00:30:33,478 --> 00:30:35,311 I'm gonna fuck you 557 00:30:35,314 --> 00:30:37,446 like the best man at my sister's wedding! 558 00:30:37,448 --> 00:30:38,505 Whose wedding? Jenny's? 559 00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,463 - Oh, my God! - Dezzy Des. 560 00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:45,375 - I know you want this. - Um, Sam... 561 00:30:45,377 --> 00:30:47,300 I've seen the way you look at me. 562 00:30:47,302 --> 00:30:48,486 You're not wrong. Busted. 563 00:30:48,489 --> 00:30:50,332 But maybe not right now. 564 00:30:50,334 --> 00:30:52,267 Shut up and take it, slut! 565 00:30:52,269 --> 00:30:53,265 Oh, God! No... 566 00:30:57,435 --> 00:30:59,369 You're psycho! 567 00:30:59,371 --> 00:31:01,403 You're crazy. Get off me. 568 00:31:01,405 --> 00:31:03,271 Oh, my God! 569 00:31:09,275 --> 00:31:10,332 Sam? 570 00:31:12,207 --> 00:31:13,352 Samantha? 571 00:31:13,354 --> 00:31:14,399 Okay, I'm really sorry 572 00:31:14,401 --> 00:31:16,215 about all this stuff that just went down, 573 00:31:16,217 --> 00:31:17,422 but I swear, I'm gonna get you out of here, okay. 574 00:31:24,325 --> 00:31:25,373 Des. 575 00:31:27,278 --> 00:31:28,265 Plan B. 576 00:31:34,577 --> 00:31:36,441 What the hell's going on? 577 00:31:36,443 --> 00:31:37,627 I'm getting us the hell out of here. 578 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:40,491 - That's what's going on. - On a furniture dolly? 579 00:31:40,492 --> 00:31:41,520 Here's a pink pillow. 580 00:31:42,517 --> 00:31:43,582 Desmond. 581 00:31:43,584 --> 00:31:46,574 Get me off of here right now. 582 00:31:46,576 --> 00:31:48,470 I can't. You'll attack me. 583 00:31:48,471 --> 00:31:50,404 Or sexually harass me, or both, 584 00:31:50,406 --> 00:31:51,542 which sends a really mixed message. 585 00:31:51,544 --> 00:31:54,464 Sexually har... I did not sexually harass you. 586 00:31:54,466 --> 00:31:57,396 I'm not... I am completely in control of myself. 587 00:31:57,398 --> 00:31:59,471 And this is a very impractical solution, by the way. 588 00:31:59,473 --> 00:32:01,575 Desmond. Hey! Look at me. 589 00:32:01,577 --> 00:32:03,550 Look at me. 590 00:32:03,552 --> 00:32:04,549 Look at me. 591 00:32:05,497 --> 00:32:06,504 I'm fine. 592 00:32:11,342 --> 00:32:13,424 I'm gonna slice off your nipples and put them on a pizza! 593 00:32:13,426 --> 00:32:15,429 Pepperoni! 594 00:32:15,431 --> 00:32:17,483 Listen to me. This is just wrong. 595 00:32:17,485 --> 00:32:20,308 - I don't even feel remotely safe like this. - Oh, shit. 596 00:32:22,343 --> 00:32:23,350 Hello? 597 00:32:24,407 --> 00:32:25,423 Are you listening to me? 598 00:32:25,425 --> 00:32:27,318 Look what you made me do! 599 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,435 Look what you made me do! 600 00:32:28,436 --> 00:32:30,310 Look what Zolt made me do! 601 00:32:30,313 --> 00:32:31,397 That's what we're gonna be singing. 602 00:32:35,259 --> 00:32:36,295 Sing to me now! Come on! 603 00:32:36,297 --> 00:32:37,431 And sloganize! 604 00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:41,251 Attention, Ammotech employees! 605 00:32:41,253 --> 00:32:42,439 As some of you may have noticed, 606 00:32:42,441 --> 00:32:45,291 our company is undergoing a regime change. 607 00:32:45,293 --> 00:32:47,235 Jesus, he's putting a whole fucking mob together. 608 00:32:47,238 --> 00:32:48,275 My butt itches! 609 00:32:50,340 --> 00:32:52,295 Please, be quiet. Okay? 610 00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:59,204 What was that noise? 611 00:33:09,210 --> 00:33:10,326 Stop! 612 00:33:10,328 --> 00:33:11,325 Mo? 613 00:33:12,253 --> 00:33:13,378 Have you had any Zolt? 614 00:33:13,379 --> 00:33:14,388 It's Ramadan. 615 00:33:16,202 --> 00:33:17,178 Rama... 616 00:33:17,180 --> 00:33:18,345 It's Ramadan. 617 00:33:18,347 --> 00:33:20,300 I'm fasting, idiot. 618 00:33:20,302 --> 00:33:22,334 Oh. Right. Shiva and all that stuff. 619 00:33:22,336 --> 00:33:25,197 Shiva is the god of death. That's Hinduism. 620 00:33:25,199 --> 00:33:27,124 - Where did you go to school? - Shh! 621 00:33:28,211 --> 00:33:29,189 Come on. 622 00:33:32,250 --> 00:33:35,151 Now, there's only room for one man to be in charge, 623 00:33:35,153 --> 00:33:36,318 so I'm going to need you and your people 624 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,123 to get on board with me. 625 00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:43,302 You want us to get on board with you? 626 00:33:46,095 --> 00:33:49,174 Yeah, that's not gonna happen. 627 00:33:50,283 --> 00:33:54,203 I'm detecting a little hostility there, Bobby. 628 00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:57,124 And we both know that's not very conducive 629 00:33:57,125 --> 00:34:01,213 to a creative team atmosphere, now is it? 630 00:34:01,215 --> 00:34:03,178 - My lips are chapped! - Shh! 631 00:34:05,145 --> 00:34:09,093 Shut her up. 632 00:34:09,094 --> 00:34:11,136 What the hell is wrong with her? 633 00:34:11,139 --> 00:34:13,072 She drank a half a can of Zolt... 634 00:34:13,074 --> 00:34:15,067 ...and now whenever something even mildly irritates her, 635 00:34:15,069 --> 00:34:16,164 she gets a little... 636 00:34:16,166 --> 00:34:18,108 ...prickly. 637 00:34:18,110 --> 00:34:20,194 Prickly? You call that prickly? 638 00:34:20,195 --> 00:34:22,089 Look, if she's had any of that stuff, 639 00:34:22,091 --> 00:34:24,153 she's a zombie mutant psycho like the rest of them. 640 00:34:24,155 --> 00:34:26,060 And we need to... 641 00:34:28,084 --> 00:34:29,978 You... You need to... 642 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:31,154 What? 643 00:34:31,156 --> 00:34:33,059 ...slice her throat open. 644 00:34:33,061 --> 00:34:35,104 Or, you know, stab her in the stomach or something. 645 00:34:35,106 --> 00:34:37,119 Listen, anyone who lays a finger on her is... Oh! 646 00:34:37,121 --> 00:34:39,932 Shh! 647 00:34:39,933 --> 00:34:42,026 Stab her. Stab her. 648 00:34:42,028 --> 00:34:43,074 - Are you crazy? - Shh! 649 00:34:43,076 --> 00:34:45,100 Let me ask you a question. 650 00:34:47,075 --> 00:34:52,020 What the fuck has Accounting done lately, huh? 651 00:34:52,022 --> 00:34:53,945 Did you do the campaign that sold 652 00:34:53,947 --> 00:34:56,040 30,000 automatic shotguns to Blackwater? 653 00:34:56,042 --> 00:34:57,934 No! We did! 654 00:34:57,936 --> 00:35:01,106 How about the Nukey The Talking Warhead campaign? 655 00:35:01,108 --> 00:35:04,009 Nope! We did that, too! 656 00:35:04,010 --> 00:35:07,071 How about Stack-the-Iraqi board game? Now for children. 657 00:35:07,073 --> 00:35:09,883 Oh, nope, that was us, too! 658 00:35:09,885 --> 00:35:11,878 How about my personal favorite, 659 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,980 the Agent Orange Soda campaign? 660 00:35:14,982 --> 00:35:18,022 Ding! Ding! Ding! That was us, too! 661 00:35:18,024 --> 00:35:23,031 Adver-fucking-tising! 662 00:35:25,933 --> 00:35:30,851 See, we make reality out of... 663 00:35:31,998 --> 00:35:35,000 ...nothing. 664 00:35:41,793 --> 00:35:42,859 Mmm. 665 00:35:43,917 --> 00:35:45,811 Now... 666 00:35:46,899 --> 00:35:49,792 be a good girl and recycle this. 667 00:35:53,930 --> 00:35:55,866 Would you like to see me make a reality... 668 00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:58,846 out of nothing... 669 00:35:58,848 --> 00:36:00,741 Robert? 670 00:36:00,743 --> 00:36:02,868 Oh, please. 671 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,861 Now, who amongst you is responsible 672 00:36:15,864 --> 00:36:18,816 for the Agent Orange Soda campaign? 673 00:36:22,875 --> 00:36:25,776 I hate you and your work. 674 00:36:25,777 --> 00:36:27,763 Everyone, kill those two and you may live. 675 00:36:29,817 --> 00:36:31,811 Welcome aboard! 676 00:36:41,756 --> 00:36:44,626 What the fuck just happened? 677 00:36:44,628 --> 00:36:46,760 Which part? The part where Nusbaum took over Marketing 678 00:36:46,763 --> 00:36:48,606 by killing Bob with a soda can 679 00:36:48,608 --> 00:36:50,591 or the part where you almost bit my finger off? 680 00:36:50,593 --> 00:36:52,777 What? Oh, my God! 681 00:36:54,622 --> 00:36:55,727 I'm so sorry. 682 00:36:56,875 --> 00:36:57,921 It's okay. 683 00:36:57,923 --> 00:36:59,246 No. It's not okay. 684 00:36:59,356 --> 00:37:00,422 You were in a weird place at the time. 685 00:37:00,424 --> 00:37:02,386 - I feel really terrible. - I've been bitten by bigger... 686 00:37:02,389 --> 00:37:04,281 - I'm not gonna... - Yeah, it was really fucked up 687 00:37:04,283 --> 00:37:06,228 and definitely not okay, but we have to go right now. 688 00:37:08,244 --> 00:37:09,378 Is this your blood? 689 00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:11,344 Okay, okay, so this is what we're gonna do. 690 00:37:11,345 --> 00:37:13,228 Okay, we're gonna take her down the stairs, we're gonna... 691 00:37:13,230 --> 00:37:14,335 we're gonna steal a car, we're gonna call the police 692 00:37:14,338 --> 00:37:16,201 and then have them call the National Guard. 693 00:37:23,334 --> 00:37:25,319 - Elevator? - Elevator. 694 00:37:28,142 --> 00:37:29,149 Okay. 695 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,338 Oh, my God! 696 00:37:36,150 --> 00:37:38,114 Does anyone else have to use the bathroom? 697 00:37:38,116 --> 00:37:39,221 Yeah. I do. 698 00:37:39,223 --> 00:37:40,270 Okay. Good. Me too. 699 00:37:47,192 --> 00:37:48,239 Doors open. 700 00:37:55,201 --> 00:37:57,074 Going down. 701 00:37:57,076 --> 00:37:58,251 Seventh, sixth, fifth, fourth... second, first. 702 00:38:01,185 --> 00:38:05,053 We are experiencing minor technical difficulties. 703 00:38:05,055 --> 00:38:08,016 Uh, ventilation shaft? 704 00:38:08,018 --> 00:38:09,163 Uh, ventilation shaft. 705 00:38:09,165 --> 00:38:10,170 Yeah. 706 00:38:10,172 --> 00:38:12,184 Please... elevator. 707 00:38:12,186 --> 00:38:16,094 This isn't gonna work. 708 00:38:16,096 --> 00:38:17,992 Ow! So not gonna work! 709 00:38:19,089 --> 00:38:22,158 Motherfuckers, get me out of here before I kill you both! 710 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,973 - New plan? - You think? 711 00:38:28,005 --> 00:38:29,080 Jesus. 712 00:38:29,082 --> 00:38:31,184 I don't even wanna think about how that happened. 713 00:38:31,186 --> 00:38:33,948 - Should we help him? - Okay. Un-tape me. 714 00:38:33,950 --> 00:38:36,022 Okay, that's never gonna happen. 715 00:38:36,024 --> 00:38:37,090 - I can be helpful. - Oh, really? 716 00:38:37,092 --> 00:38:38,147 - How can you be helpful? - I-I-I... 717 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:40,081 - There's no way you can be helpful. - I was cranky before 718 00:38:40,083 --> 00:38:42,006 because you bumped my head three times... 719 00:38:42,008 --> 00:38:43,951 I said shut up! Do you guys wanna end up 720 00:38:43,953 --> 00:38:45,967 with your gallbladder coming out your anus? 721 00:38:45,969 --> 00:38:48,021 No. 722 00:38:48,023 --> 00:38:49,906 I'm getting us out of here, okay. 723 00:38:49,908 --> 00:38:51,053 Oh, yeah, and what's your plan, huh? 724 00:38:51,055 --> 00:38:53,068 The staircase is blocked, the phones are out, 725 00:38:53,070 --> 00:38:54,945 - there's no elev... - Wait! 726 00:38:56,042 --> 00:38:58,904 You know what the shortest distance between two points is? 727 00:38:59,981 --> 00:39:00,988 A line? 728 00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:02,046 It's a hole. 729 00:39:03,931 --> 00:39:04,907 No! No! No! 730 00:39:16,050 --> 00:39:19,060 Emergency Safety Seal activated. 731 00:39:19,061 --> 00:39:22,900 This building is now under Threat-Con Level 4. 732 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:25,843 All employees, remain calm and report to subsector B 733 00:39:25,844 --> 00:39:27,897 for further instruction. 734 00:39:27,899 --> 00:39:29,811 What the fuck is this? 735 00:39:29,814 --> 00:39:32,026 Next-gen anti-terror system. 736 00:39:32,028 --> 00:39:34,001 Armored shutters and bulletproof glass 737 00:39:34,003 --> 00:39:36,833 to safeguard against rocket attacks. 738 00:39:36,835 --> 00:39:38,839 - We're locked in. - It was spelled out clearly 739 00:39:38,841 --> 00:39:40,893 in the Employee Training Booklet. Didn't you read it? 740 00:39:40,895 --> 00:39:42,830 Of course I read it. 741 00:39:43,807 --> 00:39:44,902 I skimmed it. 742 00:39:47,777 --> 00:39:49,829 Now I see why you didn't want me to throw the thing at the window. 743 00:39:49,831 --> 00:39:51,795 No! I didn't want you to throw the thing at the window, 744 00:39:51,797 --> 00:39:52,972 and I didn't want you to almost get us killed, 745 00:39:52,973 --> 00:39:54,886 and I definitely didn't want you to do anything 746 00:39:54,889 --> 00:39:57,858 that the pot-sponge-you-call a-brain processes as helping us. 747 00:39:57,860 --> 00:39:59,803 Mo! Shush! 748 00:39:59,805 --> 00:40:02,735 Desmond could have left, but he didn't. Okay. 749 00:40:02,738 --> 00:40:03,945 So stop being an asshole. 750 00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:06,777 Now... 751 00:40:07,845 --> 00:40:09,888 how do we get the security seal open? 752 00:40:11,865 --> 00:40:16,809 Only top management has the codes to reopen the seal. 753 00:40:16,811 --> 00:40:19,881 Great! So we just go find those guys up in... 754 00:40:19,883 --> 00:40:21,686 The executive level. 755 00:40:21,689 --> 00:40:22,855 That means we gotta go through... 756 00:40:28,850 --> 00:40:29,857 Okay. We're fucked. 757 00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:32,709 - You think? - Mm-hmm. 758 00:40:44,168 --> 00:40:45,273 How do we do this? 759 00:40:45,275 --> 00:40:47,257 The second they see us, we're history. 760 00:40:47,259 --> 00:40:50,120 Uh, we could pretend to be crazy mutant psychos 761 00:40:50,122 --> 00:40:51,227 like the rest of them. 762 00:40:51,229 --> 00:40:54,070 I like your idea. How? 763 00:40:54,072 --> 00:40:56,115 Just say stuff that makes you really mad. 764 00:40:56,117 --> 00:40:58,251 Oh, I was born to do this. 765 00:40:59,219 --> 00:41:00,274 Hairy asses! 766 00:41:00,276 --> 00:41:02,228 Jennifer Lawrence at an awards show. 767 00:41:02,230 --> 00:41:04,133 I can't eat cheese! 768 00:41:04,135 --> 00:41:05,230 Men with Botox! 769 00:41:05,232 --> 00:41:07,216 Dig deeper. Dig deeper. 770 00:41:07,218 --> 00:41:09,250 My father touched me! 771 00:41:09,252 --> 00:41:12,075 - Too deep! - Homework! 772 00:41:13,122 --> 00:41:14,207 Justin Bieber on a Segway! 773 00:41:22,986 --> 00:41:24,083 - It's clear. Let's go. - Okay. 774 00:41:28,143 --> 00:41:29,150 What? 775 00:41:31,145 --> 00:41:33,088 Oh, my God. 776 00:41:33,090 --> 00:41:34,993 Is that Helen? 777 00:41:34,995 --> 00:41:38,115 Oh, this actually makes me kind of sad. 778 00:41:38,117 --> 00:41:40,070 Why hasn't she retired yet? 779 00:41:40,072 --> 00:41:41,945 - In this economy? - Mm-mm. 780 00:41:41,947 --> 00:41:43,959 Looks like she's got arthritis in her hips. 781 00:41:43,961 --> 00:41:45,126 Oh, my Uncle Usef had that. 782 00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:46,992 You should try getting him baked. 783 00:41:46,994 --> 00:41:49,017 I am not gonna get my uncle baked. 784 00:41:49,019 --> 00:41:50,006 Okay. 785 00:41:51,003 --> 00:41:52,091 Shit. 786 00:41:54,953 --> 00:41:55,989 Okay, look, what do we do? 787 00:41:55,991 --> 00:41:57,035 I guess we could, uh... 788 00:41:57,038 --> 00:41:58,960 We could wheel around her. Wheel around her. 789 00:41:58,963 --> 00:42:00,955 I can't. She's got too much of a reach. 790 00:42:00,957 --> 00:42:02,102 Oh, God, fuck. We gotta do something. 791 00:42:02,104 --> 00:42:03,909 Hold on! 792 00:42:09,016 --> 00:42:11,886 Uh... You just hit an 80-year-old lady 793 00:42:11,889 --> 00:42:13,901 over the head with a potted plant? 794 00:42:13,903 --> 00:42:15,926 Yes, but in, like, self-defense. 795 00:42:15,928 --> 00:42:17,960 Oh, yeah? Self-defense? What was she gonna do? 796 00:42:17,963 --> 00:42:19,885 - Gum us to death? - She has teeth! 797 00:42:19,888 --> 00:42:21,053 - Yeah, that she can't use. - She can! 798 00:42:21,055 --> 00:42:22,022 Guys! 799 00:42:23,927 --> 00:42:25,930 Where the hell did she go? 800 00:42:35,856 --> 00:42:37,869 I can't believe I just did that. 801 00:42:37,871 --> 00:42:39,824 It was an accident. 802 00:42:39,826 --> 00:42:40,971 You just wall-butted an 80-year-old lady 803 00:42:40,973 --> 00:42:42,818 in the face on accident. 804 00:42:43,816 --> 00:42:45,970 Yes. No. I-I-I don't know. 805 00:42:46,977 --> 00:42:50,775 No! Oh, my God! 806 00:42:50,777 --> 00:42:52,950 It's kind of heroic, as far as beating up the elderly goes. 807 00:42:52,951 --> 00:42:54,775 - Is she okay? - No, she's not. 808 00:42:54,777 --> 00:42:55,852 You're both terrible people. 809 00:42:55,854 --> 00:42:57,747 But... 810 00:42:57,749 --> 00:42:58,844 ...we have to get through HR. 811 00:42:58,846 --> 00:43:00,941 - I can't do this. I can't... - Yes, you can. 812 00:43:02,776 --> 00:43:04,821 - They are nice ladies. - Great. 813 00:43:17,906 --> 00:43:19,720 Okay! 814 00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,772 That is why we do not send work e-mails with emoticons! 815 00:43:22,774 --> 00:43:26,711 Oh, God. Human Resources is a pack of rabid koala bears. 816 00:43:26,714 --> 00:43:29,823 Oh, yeah. Sexy, slutty koala bears, 817 00:43:29,825 --> 00:43:31,848 in their natural habitat. 818 00:43:31,850 --> 00:43:32,847 Back to work. 819 00:43:34,852 --> 00:43:37,732 Hey. Notice how they've all been stabbed in the back? 820 00:43:37,734 --> 00:43:40,635 - What are you saying? - Nothing. Just, you know... 821 00:43:40,638 --> 00:43:41,832 Nothing? Just, you know, because HR is basically all women, 822 00:43:41,834 --> 00:43:44,675 it automatically makes us a bunch of backstabbers? 823 00:43:44,676 --> 00:43:46,779 Okay, first off, HR is not all women. 824 00:43:46,781 --> 00:43:49,642 Look, there's a guy right there. Oh, shit! It's Lentworth! 825 00:43:49,644 --> 00:43:50,699 E-Excuse me. 826 00:43:50,701 --> 00:43:52,744 Uh, I gotta pick up my check. 827 00:43:52,746 --> 00:43:53,760 - Lentworth! - Lentworth! 828 00:43:53,763 --> 00:43:54,790 - Hello? - Lentworth! 829 00:43:57,643 --> 00:43:58,660 Oh, hi... 830 00:44:01,602 --> 00:44:03,627 Oh, God. 831 00:44:14,708 --> 00:44:15,676 I... 832 00:44:16,653 --> 00:44:18,638 see a lot of familiar faces. 833 00:44:20,573 --> 00:44:23,713 I know you. Remember I asked you out when... 834 00:44:23,715 --> 00:44:24,732 I got divorced and... 835 00:44:26,657 --> 00:44:27,624 Oh. 836 00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:31,554 Get back! 837 00:44:32,561 --> 00:44:34,654 I mean it, get back! I'll use it! 838 00:44:43,473 --> 00:44:44,638 Attention, Human Resources. 839 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,645 This is Adam Nusbaum from Accounting. 840 00:44:49,457 --> 00:44:51,630 Just a reminder about the Accounting-HR meeting 841 00:44:51,631 --> 00:44:54,454 starting momentarily in the conference room. 842 00:44:59,571 --> 00:45:01,504 We'll be covering such issues as 843 00:45:01,506 --> 00:45:02,641 installing the ATS 844 00:45:02,643 --> 00:45:05,603 to handle all OSHA documents and NDIs 845 00:45:05,605 --> 00:45:08,435 in order to better guarantee QC. 846 00:45:08,438 --> 00:45:09,493 Don't lay it on too thick. 847 00:45:09,495 --> 00:45:10,493 I got this. 848 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,450 Quick, informal T&D sessions 849 00:45:14,452 --> 00:45:15,499 to go over our BPOs. 850 00:45:16,507 --> 00:45:18,599 BPO stands for Business Processing Outsourcing. 851 00:45:18,601 --> 00:45:21,363 That's got nothing to do with our department. 852 00:45:24,506 --> 00:45:27,378 Uh, I mean, uh, BPDs. 853 00:45:28,366 --> 00:45:29,563 - Oh, BPDs. - Fine. 854 00:45:32,515 --> 00:45:33,513 They're buying it. 855 00:45:34,530 --> 00:45:36,323 Shit. Do you think they heard that? 856 00:45:36,325 --> 00:45:37,371 - Yes. - Shut up. 857 00:45:39,547 --> 00:45:41,459 Pull me out. Pull me out. 858 00:45:41,461 --> 00:45:42,489 Pull me out. Pull me out. 859 00:45:43,447 --> 00:45:45,471 That way. Face me that way. Face me that... Wait! 860 00:45:48,494 --> 00:45:50,448 We are not the ones you wanna kill. 861 00:45:51,505 --> 00:45:52,503 She is. 862 00:45:55,495 --> 00:45:57,358 What the hell are you talking about? 863 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,413 Oh... honey. 864 00:45:59,415 --> 00:46:02,257 I-I've been in HR long enough to know things. 865 00:46:02,467 --> 00:46:05,257 Jill! Jill! 866 00:46:05,259 --> 00:46:07,363 Remember when you were gonna be made supervisor 867 00:46:07,365 --> 00:46:09,238 and then you didn't get the job? 868 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:10,365 Well, that's because Lisa spread a rumor 869 00:46:10,367 --> 00:46:12,349 that you and your husband have cocaine orgies. 870 00:46:14,296 --> 00:46:15,421 That was one time, 871 00:46:15,423 --> 00:46:17,336 and you were there. 872 00:46:17,339 --> 00:46:20,398 She's lying. She's totally lying. 873 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,214 Katie! Katie! 874 00:46:22,216 --> 00:46:24,239 Remember those baby pictures you brought in? 875 00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,210 Well, Lisa says that it looks like you... 876 00:46:27,213 --> 00:46:28,327 fucked a bag of potatoes. 877 00:46:30,394 --> 00:46:33,225 You're talking about my child? 878 00:46:33,227 --> 00:46:34,324 Hold my wig. 879 00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:37,274 I'm gonna kill you. 880 00:46:37,276 --> 00:46:39,209 Oh! One more thing! 881 00:46:39,211 --> 00:46:41,194 She keeps this department under budget 882 00:46:41,196 --> 00:46:43,269 by setting the thermostat to cold! 883 00:46:43,271 --> 00:46:45,273 In the wintertime! 884 00:46:46,323 --> 00:46:48,166 This is bullshit! 885 00:46:48,168 --> 00:46:49,323 - Yeah! - Don't listen to her. 886 00:46:49,325 --> 00:46:51,307 - Get her! - She's trying to turn us... 887 00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:53,173 all against me. 888 00:46:53,175 --> 00:46:55,147 - Guys, I like sweaters. - Sic her! 889 00:46:55,149 --> 00:46:56,274 Punish her! 890 00:46:56,276 --> 00:46:57,292 You guys know me. We're friends. 891 00:46:57,294 --> 00:46:59,107 We have Wine Wednesdays. 892 00:47:00,167 --> 00:47:01,261 You're a genius! 893 00:47:01,264 --> 00:47:03,176 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 894 00:47:03,178 --> 00:47:05,293 That was great. Sad for Lisa, but great. 895 00:47:06,310 --> 00:47:08,125 Lentworth, come on. 896 00:47:17,252 --> 00:47:19,265 No, no, no, no. Don't try to play me, son. 897 00:47:19,267 --> 00:47:22,067 Who you think you're talking to? I ain't no punk bitch. 898 00:47:22,069 --> 00:47:25,179 If I say you need 55 cases of tear-gas rockets, 899 00:47:25,181 --> 00:47:26,226 that's what you're gonna get, 900 00:47:26,228 --> 00:47:29,051 or we're gonna have a fucking problem! 901 00:47:30,118 --> 00:47:33,178 Please, please, tell me there's another way around this. 902 00:47:33,180 --> 00:47:36,030 Wish I could. Only way up to the exec level 903 00:47:36,032 --> 00:47:37,178 is right through there. 904 00:47:37,179 --> 00:47:40,100 I will send a fucking rocket to your house! 905 00:47:40,102 --> 00:47:42,204 I will fucking bury you, motherfucker! 906 00:47:46,086 --> 00:47:48,131 - We should get weapons. - Yeah. 907 00:47:58,175 --> 00:48:01,105 Hey, Des, this is just like your video game. 908 00:48:01,107 --> 00:48:02,960 Grabbing stuff from the aisles. 909 00:48:02,963 --> 00:48:05,136 Except this is duct tape, not cookies, obviously. 910 00:48:06,952 --> 00:48:08,109 Des, are you making a video game? 911 00:48:09,924 --> 00:48:11,069 Yeah, but it's no big deal. 912 00:48:11,071 --> 00:48:13,056 Just a side thing, a hobby. 913 00:48:14,073 --> 00:48:15,917 Why didn't you tell me? 914 00:48:15,919 --> 00:48:17,096 'Cause it's silly. 915 00:48:18,991 --> 00:48:20,116 I think it sounds cool. 916 00:48:20,118 --> 00:48:21,953 It's super cool. 917 00:48:24,088 --> 00:48:25,913 I got a plan. 918 00:48:26,909 --> 00:48:27,947 Cool. 919 00:48:42,898 --> 00:48:44,971 Just so we're clear, my principles still hold. 920 00:48:44,973 --> 00:48:47,025 I'm not committing any acts of violence. 921 00:48:47,027 --> 00:48:48,860 Dude, we're about to go into battle. 922 00:48:48,863 --> 00:48:49,968 Why'd you even put that on? 923 00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:52,002 - Everybody else was doing it. - Okay, 924 00:48:52,004 --> 00:48:53,947 you can push Samantha, so Lentworth and I 925 00:48:53,949 --> 00:48:55,823 can commit some acts of violence. 926 00:48:55,824 --> 00:48:56,890 That sounds good. Here, take these. 927 00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:58,865 You know, I'm not really that comfy 928 00:48:58,867 --> 00:48:59,952 with the whole spearing part. 929 00:48:59,953 --> 00:49:02,834 And now I'm holding spears. 930 00:49:02,836 --> 00:49:03,892 You have to cut me loose, Des. 931 00:49:03,894 --> 00:49:05,876 And if I go full Zolt 932 00:49:05,878 --> 00:49:07,851 and I don't come back, 933 00:49:07,853 --> 00:49:08,939 kill me. 934 00:49:08,941 --> 00:49:10,814 I'm serious. 935 00:49:10,816 --> 00:49:11,871 But you have to cut me loose. 936 00:49:11,873 --> 00:49:13,755 We need all the help that we can get. 937 00:49:13,757 --> 00:49:14,843 Don't listen to her. She's a crazy witch. 938 00:49:14,845 --> 00:49:15,850 She can't be trusted. 939 00:49:15,852 --> 00:49:18,763 I'm serious about the "kill me" part, okay. 940 00:49:18,765 --> 00:49:19,881 Serious. 941 00:49:21,806 --> 00:49:22,834 Deal? 942 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:24,948 Deal. 943 00:49:32,758 --> 00:49:35,719 You think you're a tough guy? I'm Ammotech, you tool bag! 944 00:49:35,720 --> 00:49:37,773 Just try me, you tough guy. I'll show you how tough. 945 00:49:37,775 --> 00:49:40,685 You ain't even fighting in the same weight class. 946 00:49:41,745 --> 00:49:43,699 Uh, I'm gonna turn around. Anyone else? 947 00:49:52,696 --> 00:49:53,673 Hey! 948 00:49:58,720 --> 00:49:59,846 Hi, fellas. 949 00:49:59,847 --> 00:50:02,848 I know it looks like we're rolling up on you for a fight, 950 00:50:02,849 --> 00:50:04,673 but it's really not the case. 951 00:50:04,675 --> 00:50:05,710 The opposite, in fact. 952 00:50:05,713 --> 00:50:08,613 All we want to do is just go through you 953 00:50:08,615 --> 00:50:09,652 to that door over there. 954 00:50:14,828 --> 00:50:15,814 - Right, guys? - Yeah. 955 00:50:15,816 --> 00:50:17,591 Yeah. 956 00:50:18,689 --> 00:50:19,666 So, everyone's cool? 957 00:50:20,713 --> 00:50:21,741 Yeah? 958 00:50:23,685 --> 00:50:25,600 Kill them all! 959 00:50:37,769 --> 00:50:39,614 Help me! 960 00:50:48,660 --> 00:50:50,593 Any violence is purely coincidental 961 00:50:50,595 --> 00:50:51,650 and has nothing to do with me! 962 00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:17,573 Try again, Baldy! USA! 963 00:51:17,574 --> 00:51:19,599 Oh, shit. Oh, shit! 964 00:51:24,486 --> 00:51:26,609 Please stop chasing me! 965 00:51:27,608 --> 00:51:30,429 I did not do that. That was not my fault! 966 00:51:30,431 --> 00:51:34,419 Please stop impaling yourselves! 967 00:51:39,607 --> 00:51:41,561 I hope you're not allergic! 968 00:51:54,558 --> 00:51:57,349 - Did you drink any Zolt? - What? No! 969 00:51:57,351 --> 00:51:58,426 We gotta get out of here. 970 00:51:58,428 --> 00:52:00,460 Whatever you do, don't drink... 971 00:52:03,415 --> 00:52:04,480 Okay. That was me. 972 00:52:04,482 --> 00:52:07,323 I'm 100 percent sure I just did that. 973 00:52:07,325 --> 00:52:08,529 - He, uh... - I just killed someone. 974 00:52:08,531 --> 00:52:10,474 But I saved you. I saved you, right? 975 00:52:10,476 --> 00:52:12,521 Let's never talk about this to anyone. 976 00:52:14,286 --> 00:52:17,286 Okay. F... 977 00:52:17,289 --> 00:52:18,404 I don't feel good. 978 00:52:18,405 --> 00:52:19,383 Sam. 979 00:52:20,441 --> 00:52:21,438 Sam. 980 00:52:23,403 --> 00:52:24,478 We're gonna get you help, okay. 981 00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:26,253 Okay, almost there. Come on. 982 00:52:38,453 --> 00:52:40,219 We good? 983 00:52:41,266 --> 00:52:42,314 Okay. Come on, let's go. 984 00:52:44,348 --> 00:52:45,366 My back hurts. 985 00:53:04,216 --> 00:53:05,343 Um... sir? 986 00:53:06,341 --> 00:53:08,185 You might want to come take a look at this. 987 00:53:09,183 --> 00:53:10,180 What you got? 988 00:53:13,182 --> 00:53:14,330 Fuck me. 989 00:53:19,227 --> 00:53:22,188 Sorry, folks! No room at the inn. 990 00:53:22,190 --> 00:53:24,113 You got three seconds 991 00:53:24,115 --> 00:53:25,159 to step away from that door. 992 00:53:25,161 --> 00:53:27,215 Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. We're not like 993 00:53:27,216 --> 00:53:29,119 those other crazy people. We're normal. 994 00:53:30,198 --> 00:53:31,274 Oh! 995 00:53:33,300 --> 00:53:36,131 Uh, she does that sometimes. 996 00:53:36,133 --> 00:53:38,205 It's totally not a big deal. 997 00:53:38,207 --> 00:53:40,280 I have this rule about not opening the door 998 00:53:40,282 --> 00:53:42,235 for people who are armed and covered in blood. 999 00:53:42,236 --> 00:53:44,110 And right now, y'all look like 1000 00:53:44,113 --> 00:53:47,172 the Four Used Tampons of the Apocalypse! 1001 00:53:52,092 --> 00:53:53,147 My building! 1002 00:53:53,148 --> 00:53:55,051 My rules! 1003 00:53:55,053 --> 00:53:56,110 He's not gonna let us in. 1004 00:54:04,130 --> 00:54:06,025 Uh... hi. 1005 00:54:12,119 --> 00:54:14,024 Shit. 1006 00:54:18,014 --> 00:54:19,191 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1007 00:54:21,016 --> 00:54:23,069 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1008 00:54:23,071 --> 00:54:24,944 Everybody calm down! Goddammit! 1009 00:54:24,946 --> 00:54:26,958 This is a weapons manufacturing firm! 1010 00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:28,935 Violence has no place in here! 1011 00:54:31,149 --> 00:54:33,942 You. The hell do you want? 1012 00:54:34,151 --> 00:54:36,084 We want to know what's in this Zolt shit! 1013 00:54:36,086 --> 00:54:37,064 We want to know now! 1014 00:54:38,111 --> 00:54:40,006 Oh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1015 00:54:42,071 --> 00:54:43,916 Looks like you could use a drink. 1016 00:54:47,098 --> 00:54:49,001 I mean scotch! 1017 00:54:49,003 --> 00:54:52,015 For chrissake, stop looking at me like I'm a monster! 1018 00:54:57,929 --> 00:54:59,065 I'll take a water, no ice. 1019 00:54:59,067 --> 00:55:01,929 Water, no ice. Okay. Who's next? 1020 00:55:10,866 --> 00:55:12,918 Zolt was designed for soldiers. 1021 00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:14,993 Makes them alert, focused, 1022 00:55:14,995 --> 00:55:16,013 productive. 1023 00:55:17,947 --> 00:55:19,032 But this first batch... 1024 00:55:20,011 --> 00:55:22,922 ...well, shit went sideways. 1025 00:55:22,924 --> 00:55:24,907 So what's it doing in our company? 1026 00:55:24,909 --> 00:55:27,869 Well, the best I can gather is 1027 00:55:27,871 --> 00:55:29,874 the scientist under Dr. Frohm 1028 00:55:29,876 --> 00:55:32,916 became disgruntled, for reasons unknown to me. 1029 00:55:33,022 --> 00:55:35,973 And as a parting "fuck you" to the company 1030 00:55:35,975 --> 00:55:38,067 distributed the bad Zolt to the employees 1031 00:55:38,069 --> 00:55:41,021 and, uh, shit, here we are. 1032 00:55:42,856 --> 00:55:44,911 I'll deny all this, by the way, if deposed. 1033 00:55:45,919 --> 00:55:46,956 So what's the plan? 1034 00:55:47,914 --> 00:55:49,826 We're safe in here. 1035 00:55:49,828 --> 00:55:51,891 Grab a drink. Settle in. 1036 00:55:51,893 --> 00:55:54,993 Let the, uh, infected employees punch themselves out, 1037 00:55:54,995 --> 00:55:56,978 and then... 1038 00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:58,025 ...bring in the hazmat! 1039 00:55:58,027 --> 00:56:00,968 Punch themselves out? They're ripping each other's faces off! 1040 00:56:00,969 --> 00:56:02,934 I don't like it any more than you do, son. 1041 00:56:04,859 --> 00:56:07,890 See, this woman here, she's really, really, really important to me. 1042 00:56:07,996 --> 00:56:10,108 And whatever's in the stuff is destroying her piece by piece, 1043 00:56:10,109 --> 00:56:12,015 and I've got to find a way to stop it! 1044 00:56:13,022 --> 00:56:15,045 - Such as? - Such as, 1045 00:56:15,047 --> 00:56:16,074 I don't know, an antidote? 1046 00:56:21,929 --> 00:56:23,904 Why would we make an antidote? 1047 00:56:25,908 --> 00:56:28,989 You don't make a product and then plan on it being recalled. 1048 00:56:28,991 --> 00:56:33,876 Did we do that with land mines? Cluster bombs? Irradiated ammo? 1049 00:56:33,878 --> 00:56:36,948 Hell, no. We just make the stuff. 1050 00:56:36,950 --> 00:56:39,810 You start thinking about what happens afterwards, 1051 00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:41,995 next thing you know, you're living in San Francisco, 1052 00:56:41,997 --> 00:56:43,900 singing "If I Had a Hammer," 1053 00:56:43,902 --> 00:56:45,854 running a goddamn daisy farm! 1054 00:56:45,856 --> 00:56:47,840 - I'm not fucking around, old man. - Whoa! 1055 00:56:47,842 --> 00:56:48,899 Whoa, whoa. 1056 00:56:49,935 --> 00:56:51,978 Well, that's very touching son, 1057 00:56:51,980 --> 00:56:54,831 but you may want to drop your hands. 1058 00:56:54,833 --> 00:56:56,905 This thumbprint is the only way 1059 00:56:56,907 --> 00:56:58,980 that safety seal gets lifted. 1060 00:56:58,982 --> 00:57:02,810 And since y'all are relying on me 1061 00:57:02,813 --> 00:57:04,805 to get you out of this mess, 1062 00:57:04,807 --> 00:57:07,740 I suggest you start acting like a team player. 1063 00:57:11,878 --> 00:57:12,935 There we go. 1064 00:57:13,944 --> 00:57:15,916 You want to talk to the man that made the stuff? 1065 00:57:15,918 --> 00:57:17,861 That's Dr. Frohm. 1066 00:57:17,863 --> 00:57:20,724 But good luck getting down to his office right now. 1067 00:57:21,793 --> 00:57:23,885 Oh, Christ! 1068 00:57:23,992 --> 00:57:26,954 Why is the fucking regional manager here? 1069 00:57:27,881 --> 00:57:28,897 Mother... 1070 00:57:28,899 --> 00:57:29,985 Shit. 1071 00:57:32,998 --> 00:57:35,980 What the hell do you want, buddy boy? 1072 00:57:37,835 --> 00:57:39,839 Hello, Franklin. 1073 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,870 My team and I are looking to do some aggressive expansion, 1074 00:57:42,872 --> 00:57:45,743 so I'm going to need you to rescind the safety seal 1075 00:57:45,745 --> 00:57:47,869 around the building. 1076 00:57:49,784 --> 00:57:51,839 Rescind the seal. 1077 00:57:52,946 --> 00:57:55,806 Only thing I'm rescinding is the part of your contract 1078 00:57:55,808 --> 00:57:57,821 where it says I can't take out my dick 1079 00:57:57,823 --> 00:58:00,696 and whip you with it like a stagecoach driver. 1080 00:58:01,793 --> 00:58:03,766 Yes, I thought you might say that. 1081 00:58:03,768 --> 00:58:06,738 I also thought you might like to keep the thumb on your left hand 1082 00:58:06,740 --> 00:58:08,863 as well as your worthless fucking life, 1083 00:58:08,865 --> 00:58:10,849 so I'm giving you ten seconds to comply. 1084 00:58:11,897 --> 00:58:14,747 Well, good luck getting in here, pal. 1085 00:58:16,664 --> 00:58:19,674 My doors are two-inch thick titanium 1086 00:58:19,676 --> 00:58:20,861 steel-tempered alloy 1087 00:58:20,863 --> 00:58:22,806 with retinal scanners 1088 00:58:22,808 --> 00:58:25,818 and a voice-print security ID system 1089 00:58:25,820 --> 00:58:28,782 designed by the top engineers in Sweden! 1090 00:58:29,710 --> 00:58:30,716 Motherfucker. 1091 00:58:30,718 --> 00:58:32,622 And what about the walls? 1092 00:58:36,722 --> 00:58:38,645 Say again? 1093 00:58:38,647 --> 00:58:41,607 You know... the walls? 1094 00:58:41,609 --> 00:58:43,771 Are they two-inch thick titanium made in Sweden? 1095 00:58:43,773 --> 00:58:45,796 Or, as I recall from the purchase orders, 1096 00:58:45,798 --> 00:58:48,599 made by an underpaid subcontractor 1097 00:58:48,601 --> 00:58:49,706 who skimped on building materials 1098 00:58:49,707 --> 00:58:50,775 so he could make a few bucks. 1099 00:58:55,643 --> 00:58:58,645 See you in a few minutes... buddy boy. 1100 00:59:02,654 --> 00:59:03,651 What the fuck was that? 1101 00:59:04,679 --> 00:59:05,716 Get your ass out there. 1102 00:59:10,538 --> 00:59:13,079 Shit, y'all look in here. I got shells everywhere. 1103 00:59:13,104 --> 00:59:15,541 Just... gotta get the goddamn keys. 1104 00:59:16,788 --> 00:59:17,913 Come on, Sam. 1105 00:59:18,454 --> 00:59:19,954 Fuck! Fuck! 1106 00:59:20,617 --> 00:59:21,454 Stay put, okay. 1107 00:59:22,051 --> 00:59:24,026 All right, here we go. Here we go. 1108 00:59:31,057 --> 00:59:32,093 Shit. 1109 00:59:32,095 --> 00:59:34,090 Come on, come on. 1110 00:59:35,077 --> 00:59:36,972 Come on. 1111 00:59:45,071 --> 00:59:47,094 Hey, Mo, can you give me a hand? 1112 00:59:47,096 --> 00:59:49,071 I don't know who I am anymore. 1113 00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:55,901 Hey, Mo, don't do this. We need you. 1114 00:59:55,903 --> 00:59:58,066 I wall-butted an old lady. 1115 00:59:58,067 --> 00:59:59,860 Who was biting you. 1116 00:59:59,863 --> 01:00:01,088 I sprayed cleaning liquid into a man's eyes. 1117 01:00:01,090 --> 01:00:02,882 Who was attacking us. 1118 01:00:02,884 --> 01:00:05,906 I split a guy's neck open with an axe. Oh, shit. 1119 01:00:05,931 --> 01:00:08,857 I thought we agreed we weren't gonna talk about that. 1120 01:00:08,859 --> 01:00:10,035 - I'm a monster. - No. 1121 01:00:11,003 --> 01:00:12,163 They are monsters. 1122 01:00:12,496 --> 01:00:14,046 You are my best friend here. 1123 01:00:16,829 --> 01:00:19,496 Behind Samantha and this dude I used to smoke weed with. 1124 01:00:20,329 --> 01:00:21,933 - Who? - Okay, 1125 01:00:21,934 --> 01:00:23,163 you're my third best friend. 1126 01:00:23,164 --> 01:00:24,663 I'm your third best friend? 1127 01:00:25,209 --> 01:00:26,663 That's awesome. 1128 01:00:26,902 --> 01:00:28,904 Well, if you want our third best friendship to survive, 1129 01:00:28,906 --> 01:00:29,829 I need you in the game. 1130 01:00:30,204 --> 01:00:30,850 Okay. 1131 01:00:30,875 --> 01:00:31,725 - Okay? - Yeah. 1132 01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:33,833 So come on, let me see your war-face, right now. 1133 01:00:33,894 --> 01:00:35,898 Let me see it. Like this. Ready? 1134 01:00:38,871 --> 01:00:39,866 Okay. 1135 01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:45,830 Okay. A bit more war-like. 1136 01:00:45,832 --> 01:00:46,454 Okay. 1137 01:00:50,899 --> 01:00:51,746 Great! 1138 01:00:52,924 --> 01:00:55,856 A for effort. Let's do this! Lentworth! 1139 01:00:58,898 --> 01:01:00,853 Lentworth, get your ass over here and give me a hand! 1140 01:01:02,719 --> 01:01:03,716 - What was that? - Nothing. 1141 01:01:06,838 --> 01:01:08,721 Are you drinking the... 1142 01:01:08,723 --> 01:01:09,818 - Give me the can, Lentworth. - No, look. 1143 01:01:09,820 --> 01:01:11,683 I just gotta get my job back! 1144 01:01:11,685 --> 01:01:12,710 Are you fucking out of your mind? 1145 01:01:12,713 --> 01:01:14,454 Maybe if I'm like them, I'll fit in! 1146 01:01:15,884 --> 01:01:17,849 Help me! Lentworth's going rogue! 1147 01:01:18,876 --> 01:01:21,659 Get your ass out there! Keep 'em outta this office! 1148 01:01:22,866 --> 01:01:24,749 Do you know how much it costs 1149 01:01:24,751 --> 01:01:26,664 to go to Nevada and get a hooker? 1150 01:01:26,666 --> 01:01:28,639 And I got a mortgage and car payments 1151 01:01:28,641 --> 01:01:29,788 - and insurance! - Plug the wall! 1152 01:01:30,795 --> 01:01:33,635 And I'm paying 60,000 bucks a year 1153 01:01:33,638 --> 01:01:35,840 for my daughter to study pottery at Sarah fucking Lawrence! 1154 01:01:35,842 --> 01:01:37,725 Don't do this! Don't! 1155 01:01:37,727 --> 01:01:39,790 This is not the time for me to be looking for work! 1156 01:01:41,776 --> 01:01:44,647 I'm one of you! I'm one of you! 1157 01:01:44,649 --> 01:01:45,645 Whoa! 1158 01:01:52,589 --> 01:01:53,675 All right, you motherfuckers. 1159 01:01:56,628 --> 01:01:59,628 - Come on, Mo. - You can run, but you can't hide. 1160 01:01:59,630 --> 01:02:01,632 Welcome to the penthouse, motherfuckers! 1161 01:02:04,706 --> 01:02:05,764 Oh, shit. 1162 01:02:11,539 --> 01:02:13,594 - Oh. - Goddammit 1163 01:02:18,710 --> 01:02:22,670 Last opportunity to show some collaboration, Mr. Gantt! 1164 01:02:25,552 --> 01:02:26,559 Hide behind the bush. 1165 01:02:34,479 --> 01:02:35,624 Bring me his thumb. 1166 01:02:41,530 --> 01:02:43,575 Which one of you fucks wants a taste? 1167 01:02:55,614 --> 01:02:57,569 Piss off! 1168 01:03:01,519 --> 01:03:03,451 Yeah, run, you sissy little fuckers. 1169 01:03:03,453 --> 01:03:04,491 A little help here? 1170 01:03:09,388 --> 01:03:12,457 All y'all are fucking fired! 1171 01:03:14,504 --> 01:03:17,456 Goddammit! You cut off my goddamn hand. 1172 01:03:18,415 --> 01:03:19,571 Goddamn. 1173 01:03:21,386 --> 01:03:25,456 This is a real nice office, Mr. Gantt. 1174 01:03:26,444 --> 01:03:29,355 Ah. I gotta get me one of these. 1175 01:03:30,393 --> 01:03:32,366 I can't die like this. 1176 01:03:32,368 --> 01:03:34,520 I'm a goddamn war hero! 1177 01:03:34,730 --> 01:03:36,714 You never set foot in Iraq! 1178 01:03:36,716 --> 01:03:39,496 - I served! - In Thailand! 1179 01:03:39,498 --> 01:03:40,573 Irrelevant! 1180 01:03:40,575 --> 01:03:42,568 Hope you enjoyed the ladyboys. 1181 01:03:45,493 --> 01:03:46,627 Kill them. 1182 01:03:46,629 --> 01:03:47,647 Whoa! Whoa! 1183 01:03:48,798 --> 01:03:51,619 You got what you wanted. The company's yours. 1184 01:03:51,621 --> 01:03:53,644 Now, let us walk, okay. 1185 01:03:53,646 --> 01:03:55,607 We hereby tender our resignations. 1186 01:03:55,608 --> 01:03:57,509 I think I speak for all of us when I say 1187 01:03:57,511 --> 01:04:00,532 we really don't want to work for you anymore. 1188 01:04:00,533 --> 01:04:02,626 Oh, everyone's going to be working for me, Desmond. 1189 01:04:02,628 --> 01:04:04,641 - What? - Do you think 1190 01:04:04,643 --> 01:04:08,441 this pissant little bullet factory is my endgame? 1191 01:04:08,443 --> 01:04:09,627 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1192 01:04:09,629 --> 01:04:14,515 I've got my sights set on much, much bigger things. 1193 01:04:14,517 --> 01:04:16,599 So what, you're going to become 1194 01:04:16,601 --> 01:04:18,566 regional manager of the world? 1195 01:04:20,392 --> 01:04:21,548 You know, I do like the sound of that. 1196 01:04:27,453 --> 01:04:28,441 Excellent. 1197 01:04:29,557 --> 01:04:31,443 Deliver their heads to me! 1198 01:04:40,529 --> 01:04:42,402 Back the fuck up! 1199 01:04:42,404 --> 01:04:44,497 First one to come cops a bullet to the face. 1200 01:04:44,499 --> 01:04:46,361 There's 20 of them. 1201 01:04:46,364 --> 01:04:47,489 There's only one shell left in that gun, 1202 01:04:47,491 --> 01:04:49,385 and there's six of us! 1203 01:04:51,421 --> 01:04:52,527 Then I guess I'm gonna need more ammo. 1204 01:05:04,476 --> 01:05:06,461 Holy shit, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. 1205 01:05:09,403 --> 01:05:11,417 Oh, God. 1206 01:05:11,418 --> 01:05:12,483 Sam. 1207 01:05:12,485 --> 01:05:14,389 Just hang in there. 1208 01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:17,401 I don't feel well. 1209 01:05:17,402 --> 01:05:19,316 Sam? Hey. 1210 01:05:19,318 --> 01:05:21,392 Come on, guys. 1211 01:05:23,288 --> 01:05:25,300 You have to kill me. 1212 01:05:25,302 --> 01:05:27,347 You're gonna make it, okay. Just hang in there. 1213 01:05:28,404 --> 01:05:30,269 I'm gonna to get you help, okay. Trust me. 1214 01:05:31,396 --> 01:05:32,364 Sam? 1215 01:05:35,316 --> 01:05:36,314 Samantha? 1216 01:05:38,318 --> 01:05:39,285 Samantha. 1217 01:06:05,168 --> 01:06:06,323 Well. 1218 01:06:06,325 --> 01:06:08,238 Thank you, Mr. Gantt. 1219 01:06:14,314 --> 01:06:18,113 Attention, all remaining Ammotech employees. 1220 01:06:18,115 --> 01:06:21,306 We are now going into Stage Three: 1221 01:06:22,293 --> 01:06:26,171 Distribution! Total saturation of all markets! 1222 01:06:26,173 --> 01:06:29,164 Local, regional, 1223 01:06:29,166 --> 01:06:32,078 national, and global! 1224 01:06:42,826 --> 01:06:44,711 Hey. Hey! 1225 01:06:45,889 --> 01:06:47,883 Oh, Jesus Christ, Samantha. Here. 1226 01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:54,723 What the fuck did you do? 1227 01:06:54,725 --> 01:06:55,850 Damn it! 1228 01:06:55,852 --> 01:06:57,845 No! I didn't do anything. 1229 01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:59,671 I did not do anything. 1230 01:06:59,672 --> 01:07:02,772 It was not supposed to be administered to employees, okay. 1231 01:07:02,774 --> 01:07:06,672 But that little shit of a doctor, 1232 01:07:06,674 --> 01:07:09,724 he thinks that I screwed him out of credit on the experiment. 1233 01:07:09,726 --> 01:07:12,676 - Did you? - Well, yes, of course I did! 1234 01:07:12,678 --> 01:07:14,851 But, like, take me to court, file a grievance, 1235 01:07:14,853 --> 01:07:17,813 like, go through the normal channels on that shit. 1236 01:07:17,815 --> 01:07:20,996 Don't hand out weaponized soft drinks to your colleagues! 1237 01:07:21,715 --> 01:07:23,797 Christ, I mean, that's out of line. 1238 01:07:23,799 --> 01:07:25,802 Don't even try to lay it off on that nerd. 1239 01:07:25,804 --> 01:07:27,599 This is your fault! 1240 01:07:28,636 --> 01:07:30,729 My fault? Really? 1241 01:07:30,731 --> 01:07:32,586 Are you sure about that, Desmond? 1242 01:07:35,798 --> 01:07:40,553 This is the purchase order for my boron silicate hydroxide, 1243 01:07:40,555 --> 01:07:41,710 which I have been trying to put through your department 1244 01:07:41,713 --> 01:07:43,705 for the better part of a month. 1245 01:07:43,707 --> 01:07:46,100 Which, coincidentally, I found in the trash can 1246 01:07:46,193 --> 01:07:47,269 outside my office this morning. 1247 01:07:47,271 --> 01:07:48,316 So what are you saying? 1248 01:07:48,318 --> 01:07:50,121 I'm saying... 1249 01:07:50,123 --> 01:07:52,126 we tested the formula, it worked fine, 1250 01:07:52,128 --> 01:07:53,273 but because we were on a deadline, 1251 01:07:53,275 --> 01:07:56,096 but we didn't have the right compounds now, 1252 01:07:56,097 --> 01:07:58,091 and we had to make... 1253 01:07:58,092 --> 01:07:59,217 we had to make do. 1254 01:07:59,219 --> 01:08:01,202 Make do? 1255 01:08:01,204 --> 01:08:03,227 With replacement chemicals. 1256 01:08:03,229 --> 01:08:05,251 That have a bit of a nasty side effect. 1257 01:08:05,253 --> 01:08:07,278 How do we undo it? That's all I want to hear out of you. 1258 01:08:13,113 --> 01:08:16,093 So, good news is, she didn't ingest enough of it 1259 01:08:16,095 --> 01:08:17,210 to have it take full effect. 1260 01:08:17,213 --> 01:08:19,055 If she he still has enough unaffected, 1261 01:08:19,057 --> 01:08:20,222 then I might be able to bring her back. 1262 01:08:20,224 --> 01:08:22,168 What about everyone else? 1263 01:08:22,170 --> 01:08:25,100 Oh, the people who consumed the full dosage? 1264 01:08:25,102 --> 01:08:27,115 - Yeah. - You should forget about them. 1265 01:08:27,117 --> 01:08:28,192 They're dead. Their frontal lobe 1266 01:08:28,194 --> 01:08:31,004 looks like Octomom's vagina at this point. 1267 01:08:31,006 --> 01:08:33,189 Bad news is, her higher motor functions are going 1268 01:08:33,191 --> 01:08:35,144 to continue to shut down, 1269 01:08:35,146 --> 01:08:39,033 and in about 30 minutes, without the right antidote, 1270 01:08:39,035 --> 01:08:41,998 um... we might not be able to bring her back. 1271 01:08:43,174 --> 01:08:45,000 What do you need to make a cure? 1272 01:08:47,094 --> 01:08:49,177 Okay. There it is. 1273 01:08:49,179 --> 01:08:51,959 One vial will do it, but the more the better. 1274 01:08:51,961 --> 01:08:54,084 With that, I might be able 1275 01:08:54,086 --> 01:08:57,006 to rig a formula to reverse the effects. 1276 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:59,001 But I don't know. The clock's ticking. 1277 01:08:59,003 --> 01:09:01,098 So all we have to do is go in there and get it. 1278 01:09:04,918 --> 01:09:07,998 In there, yeah. Basically. 1279 01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,952 My God, he's got the whole place running like clockwork. 1280 01:09:11,999 --> 01:09:14,124 Back in 30 minutes. Fucknuts. Come on. 1281 01:09:17,006 --> 01:09:18,961 Wait, you two are gonna take them all on? 1282 01:09:19,969 --> 01:09:21,901 That's great. We're all gonna die. 1283 01:09:21,903 --> 01:09:22,971 I can hear you. 1284 01:10:23,892 --> 01:10:26,822 It is true that there is no "I" in team. 1285 01:10:26,824 --> 01:10:29,734 However, there is an "I" in win. 1286 01:10:29,736 --> 01:10:30,842 We are only as strong 1287 01:10:30,844 --> 01:10:33,714 as the weakest link in our chain. 1288 01:10:33,716 --> 01:10:34,771 Oh, shit. 1289 01:10:34,773 --> 01:10:36,698 Oh, Ralph. 1290 01:10:37,866 --> 01:10:40,746 So destroy the weakest link. 1291 01:10:40,748 --> 01:10:42,842 No, wait. No, no. 1292 01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:51,647 If I ever get out of here, I'm definitely gonna go see a therapist. 1293 01:10:51,649 --> 01:10:52,686 There it is. 1294 01:10:53,674 --> 01:10:55,708 This might be slightly more difficult than I imagined. 1295 01:11:02,780 --> 01:11:05,721 Mr. Brimble and Mr. Haryana, 1296 01:11:05,723 --> 01:11:06,818 hello. 1297 01:11:06,820 --> 01:11:10,598 Might I suggest the next time you try to sneak up on someone, 1298 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:14,599 you do it in a place without security cameras. 1299 01:11:15,606 --> 01:11:18,656 All personnel, please report to Section A-2. Thank you. 1300 01:11:18,658 --> 01:11:19,694 - Shit. - Shit! 1301 01:11:21,791 --> 01:11:23,666 Shit, shit, shit. 1302 01:11:27,755 --> 01:11:29,610 Come on. Fuck! 1303 01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:35,732 Step on it. Step on it. 1304 01:11:35,734 --> 01:11:38,575 You're obsessed with this landmine bullshit. 1305 01:11:38,577 --> 01:11:39,602 And it's not gonna work! 1306 01:11:45,499 --> 01:11:47,542 Oh, I like my steak well-done! 1307 01:11:47,544 --> 01:11:49,576 And that's how I like my co-workers! 1308 01:11:52,530 --> 01:11:53,598 I hate you all! 1309 01:11:57,527 --> 01:11:58,652 This was poorly planned. 1310 01:11:58,654 --> 01:12:01,267 I'm just kidding! You guys are like family. 1311 01:12:01,268 --> 01:12:02,371 Let's go. Quick. 1312 01:12:03,452 --> 01:12:04,569 Have a blessed day! 1313 01:12:55,416 --> 01:12:57,349 Battle mode! 1314 01:13:11,295 --> 01:13:12,282 Duck! 1315 01:13:31,343 --> 01:13:32,379 Hang on! 1316 01:13:35,382 --> 01:13:36,409 Let's go. Let's go! 1317 01:13:46,353 --> 01:13:48,219 Okay. Hold these. 1318 01:13:57,155 --> 01:13:59,359 Yes. Hey, Mo! I got it. 1319 01:14:02,311 --> 01:14:03,289 Desmond! 1320 01:14:05,254 --> 01:14:06,301 Shit. 1321 01:14:14,514 --> 01:14:18,413 Mr. Brimble! Since you continue to prove yourself incapable 1322 01:14:18,532 --> 01:14:20,527 of fitting in with Ammotech culture... 1323 01:14:21,554 --> 01:14:23,620 now you die. 1324 01:14:26,461 --> 01:14:27,569 Are you kidding me? 1325 01:14:29,624 --> 01:14:31,529 Run! 1326 01:14:34,560 --> 01:14:36,594 Oh. Oh. Oh. 1327 01:14:36,596 --> 01:14:38,500 What the hell is he wearing? 1328 01:14:46,609 --> 01:14:48,393 Hey, Mo! 1329 01:14:49,411 --> 01:14:50,390 Catch! 1330 01:14:52,747 --> 01:14:53,811 Get it to Sam. 1331 01:14:53,814 --> 01:14:54,879 No, you can't stay here! 1332 01:14:54,881 --> 01:14:56,744 If we both run, he'll catch us, 1333 01:14:56,746 --> 01:14:57,881 but not if I keep his ass busy. 1334 01:14:57,883 --> 01:14:59,886 And besides, it's my fault. 1335 01:14:59,888 --> 01:15:01,901 - Someone's got to take responsibility... - No, no, no, you convinced me. 1336 01:15:01,903 --> 01:15:03,816 I'm going. 1337 01:15:03,818 --> 01:15:05,771 It's been an honor sharing a cubicle with you. 1338 01:15:05,773 --> 01:15:06,878 You too, buddy. 1339 01:15:13,682 --> 01:15:14,699 Hey, boss! 1340 01:15:15,747 --> 01:15:16,833 Mr. Brimble! 1341 01:15:19,726 --> 01:15:20,831 So glad to see you finally taking 1342 01:15:20,833 --> 01:15:22,839 some initiative today, Desmond. 1343 01:15:25,671 --> 01:15:27,755 It's almost a shame that I have to kill you. 1344 01:15:39,764 --> 01:15:41,659 What's up, playa! 1345 01:15:47,753 --> 01:15:49,576 Look at this shit. You're just gonna 1346 01:15:49,578 --> 01:15:51,703 let me beat your ass to death right now, aren't you? 1347 01:15:54,545 --> 01:15:56,600 Guess what? I can roll with that, bro. 1348 01:15:57,717 --> 01:15:59,620 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! 1349 01:15:59,622 --> 01:16:00,677 You want some more? 1350 01:16:00,679 --> 01:16:02,593 Oh, come here, I got something for you. 1351 01:16:04,639 --> 01:16:06,552 This is exhausting. 1352 01:16:06,554 --> 01:16:07,659 You want more? Okay, I got more. 1353 01:16:07,661 --> 01:16:10,561 I got more. More for you, right here. 1354 01:16:11,651 --> 01:16:14,541 Welcome to America! 1355 01:16:14,543 --> 01:16:16,486 Land of the free, bitch! 1356 01:16:16,489 --> 01:16:17,496 Come here! 1357 01:16:21,545 --> 01:16:24,555 Marcus, because of your racism, 1358 01:16:24,557 --> 01:16:27,617 your thuggishness, and your complete inability 1359 01:16:27,619 --> 01:16:29,661 to call me by the right fucking name, 1360 01:16:29,664 --> 01:16:32,534 I hereby sentence you 1361 01:16:32,536 --> 01:16:33,661 to a lot of fucking pain. 1362 01:16:40,446 --> 01:16:41,503 Is that all you got? 1363 01:16:53,422 --> 01:16:55,564 That was my war-face, motherfucker! 1364 01:17:06,398 --> 01:17:09,388 Oh, looks like someone wants overtime. 1365 01:17:09,390 --> 01:17:12,480 I'll give you fucking overtime! Come on! Come on! 1366 01:17:12,482 --> 01:17:13,479 Huh?! 1367 01:17:20,342 --> 01:17:22,485 Over here, minions! 1368 01:17:43,331 --> 01:17:44,467 Hey, Nusbaum! 1369 01:17:44,781 --> 01:17:46,684 Guess who's been stealing hundreds of dollars' worth 1370 01:17:46,685 --> 01:17:49,636 of company office supplies since the day he started? 1371 01:18:15,530 --> 01:18:18,571 And in the past 16 months, I've done... 1372 01:18:18,573 --> 01:18:21,643 maybe six weeks' worth of actual work. Tops. 1373 01:18:21,645 --> 01:18:24,595 You've been paying me mostly to get high and work on my video game. 1374 01:18:24,597 --> 01:18:25,652 So, thank you. 1375 01:18:32,436 --> 01:18:33,583 I guess it's time for my exit interview. 1376 01:18:36,635 --> 01:18:38,639 You've always been impeccably bad 1377 01:18:38,641 --> 01:18:42,520 at reading the instructions, haven't you, Desmond? 1378 01:18:43,527 --> 01:18:45,460 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1379 01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:47,627 Fuck instructions. 1380 01:19:01,551 --> 01:19:03,385 Bring it, Anusbaum! 1381 01:19:17,539 --> 01:19:19,481 Brimble, help me. 1382 01:19:27,383 --> 01:19:28,421 No! No! 1383 01:19:29,448 --> 01:19:30,425 Not now! 1384 01:19:33,388 --> 01:19:36,497 Hello, Marcus. So good to see you. 1385 01:19:36,499 --> 01:19:38,303 Oh! Wait, wait. 1386 01:19:38,304 --> 01:19:41,375 Oh! I'm gonna tell my uncle! 1387 01:19:41,377 --> 01:19:44,327 Teamwork makes the dream work! 1388 01:19:54,343 --> 01:19:55,341 Shit! 1389 01:19:56,398 --> 01:19:58,402 Samantha! Sam! 1390 01:20:00,297 --> 01:20:02,359 - Are you okay now, or... - No! 1391 01:20:02,361 --> 01:20:04,325 - Oh, shit! - I'm just kidding, I'm fine. 1392 01:20:04,327 --> 01:20:05,422 Really. Mo gave me the antidote. 1393 01:20:05,424 --> 01:20:07,238 Should we get the fuck outta here? 1394 01:20:07,240 --> 01:20:08,315 That's funny, the noise you just made, 1395 01:20:08,317 --> 01:20:09,342 you were all like... 1396 01:20:14,171 --> 01:20:15,296 Here, take this. 1397 01:20:15,298 --> 01:20:16,366 Yeah. Let's go. 1398 01:20:19,318 --> 01:20:22,369 Spread the C-4 out. I'll blow it when he comes through. 1399 01:20:22,370 --> 01:20:25,340 Mo, over here. Come on. Hurry up. 1400 01:20:25,342 --> 01:20:26,329 He's coming. 1401 01:20:30,209 --> 01:20:33,172 - Okay, come on. Come on. - Oh, shit. 1402 01:20:41,241 --> 01:20:42,278 Okay, come on. Let's go. 1403 01:20:45,309 --> 01:20:47,085 Oh, shit. 1404 01:20:49,090 --> 01:20:50,205 I hate this guy. 1405 01:20:50,207 --> 01:20:54,204 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 1406 01:20:54,206 --> 01:20:56,102 There is no way out. 1407 01:20:58,146 --> 01:20:59,203 Mo, give me the triggers. 1408 01:21:05,048 --> 01:21:06,116 Hey, Nusbaum! 1409 01:21:12,020 --> 01:21:13,046 I quit. 1410 01:21:17,057 --> 01:21:17,683 Oh, shit. 1411 01:21:17,684 --> 01:21:20,308 Did either of you put detonators into the C-4? 1412 01:21:20,679 --> 01:21:23,522 Why doesn't anybody tell me these things? 1413 01:21:28,658 --> 01:21:29,646 Desmond! 1414 01:21:31,641 --> 01:21:34,651 - You fail to realize... - Move! 1415 01:21:34,653 --> 01:21:35,641 that I... 1416 01:21:36,638 --> 01:21:38,691 am too big... 1417 01:21:38,693 --> 01:21:41,485 - Go! Go! Go! Go! Come on! - ...to fail! 1418 01:22:10,440 --> 01:22:11,427 Holy moley. 1419 01:22:14,559 --> 01:22:16,393 Fuck you. 1420 01:22:21,361 --> 01:22:23,496 Oh! 1421 01:22:26,438 --> 01:22:28,432 Well, you were finally on time for something. 1422 01:22:29,490 --> 01:22:31,495 I finally had something to be on time for. 1423 01:22:33,520 --> 01:22:35,353 Oh, don't. 1424 01:22:35,355 --> 01:22:36,392 Please don't. 1425 01:22:38,406 --> 01:22:39,542 Okay, that's happening. 1426 01:22:39,544 --> 01:22:41,338 So I'm just gonna... 1427 01:22:41,340 --> 01:22:42,474 Oh, okay. 1428 01:22:42,476 --> 01:22:44,529 Okay, I... I-I'll just be back here, 1429 01:22:44,531 --> 01:22:46,456 throwing up in my hands. 1430 01:23:00,300 --> 01:23:02,282 Don't make me wait another 15 years 1431 01:23:02,284 --> 01:23:04,277 before you do that again. 1432 01:23:04,279 --> 01:23:05,297 Deal. 1433 01:23:07,272 --> 01:23:10,322 And why did you show Mo your video game and not me? 1434 01:23:10,324 --> 01:23:11,380 Because Mo's a nerd. 1435 01:23:13,246 --> 01:23:14,331 - I'm a nerd. - Okay. 1436 01:23:14,333 --> 01:23:15,360 Check it out. 1437 01:23:28,277 --> 01:23:30,259 - It's so... - Silly. 1438 01:23:30,261 --> 01:23:31,289 You. 1439 01:23:32,385 --> 01:23:35,317 Ah. Oh, that feels so good. 1440 01:23:35,318 --> 01:23:38,350 Oh! You guys have got to try this. Oh.