1 00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:17,669 I talked to Jenny McAullife today. 2 00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:19,136 Lord, why? 3 00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:20,170 She cornered me. 4 00:00:21,171 --> 00:00:23,040 What did you guys talk about? 5 00:00:23,073 --> 00:00:24,441 I don't even remember. 6 00:00:24,476 --> 00:00:27,211 She was going on and on about something really boring, 7 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:31,716 like a family car trip, and she was just so excited. 8 00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:33,417 It was so weird. 9 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,352 It's not like she was talking about a new boyfriend 10 00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:38,288 or seeing her favorite band. 11 00:00:38,322 --> 00:00:40,257 She was just psyched. 12 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,227 Like high on life. 13 00:00:44,094 --> 00:00:48,766 Yeah, war, child abuse, poverty, disease, 14 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,235 life gets me wasted. 15 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:52,470 And I was thinking, 16 00:00:52,504 --> 00:00:55,405 I've never been that excited about anything and I'm like 17. 17 00:00:55,439 --> 00:00:58,676 It's only gonna get lamer and more boring from here. 18 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,645 People who are that happy are insane. 19 00:01:03,748 --> 00:01:05,148 We're doomed. 20 00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:18,856 Well peeps, it's Friday and you are all set 21 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,324 for another weekend. 22 00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:25,195 Yeah, that's slammin'. 23 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,230 And while most of you will do the right thing 24 00:02:27,264 --> 00:02:30,535 like doing homework and going to church, 25 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,436 some of you will be putting your futures 26 00:02:32,470 --> 00:02:34,204 and your very lives at stake. 27 00:02:35,138 --> 00:02:39,577 Yes, homeboys and girls, I'm talking about partying. 28 00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:46,350 Check your head, and don't believe the hype. 29 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:50,387 It's no difference if it's brewskies or the kind herb, 30 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,626 coke, crank, smack, LSD, PCP, 31 00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:58,730 model airplane glue, vaginal, oral, or anal. 32 00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:03,601 It all leads to the same place. 33 00:03:03,635 --> 00:03:08,573 Jail, the hospital or the graveyard. 34 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:09,607 For reals. 35 00:03:12,677 --> 00:03:14,277 Holla if ya hear me. 36 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,649 Has Mrs. Feen ever even had sex? 37 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:24,555 So let's all give it up and turn it loose 38 00:03:24,589 --> 00:03:28,191 and watch these three short educational films, 39 00:03:28,225 --> 00:03:29,494 You Booze, You Lose, 40 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,496 The BloodStained Cell Phone, 41 00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:33,865 and Conchita Has Genital Warts. 42 00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:42,540 Hall lockers, 43 00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:44,575 true windows to the soul. Ugly dykes. 44 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,980 These are the innocent, carefree good times 45 00:03:49,013 --> 00:03:50,882 we'll remember the rest of our lives. 46 00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:02,794 Pain is weakness leaving the body? 47 00:04:03,728 --> 00:04:06,964 So what, if you get run over by a car it makes you stronger? 48 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:08,466 Or what about getting bone cancer? 49 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,467 I hear that's painful. 50 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,735 You'd be hella strong then. 51 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:11,636 He's cute. 52 00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:15,305 You're worse than my mother. 53 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,574 He'd do it with you and then laugh 54 00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:18,710 and send all his friends pictures. 55 00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:19,544 Can't I even look? 56 00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:20,678 They can't be all bad. 57 00:04:23,313 --> 00:04:25,449 Y'know, we should be lesbians. 58 00:04:25,483 --> 00:04:26,818 I can't do the wardrobe. 59 00:04:27,985 --> 00:04:29,386 Also that partner word. 60 00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:31,489 Yuck, Partner sounds like you work 61 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,758 at a law firm or co-own a muffin shop. 62 00:04:33,791 --> 00:04:36,494 Muffin shop. 63 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:39,497 Yo, what did one lesbian vampire 64 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,932 say to the other lesbian vampire? 65 00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:42,467 We don't care. 66 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:43,968 See you next month. 67 00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:47,437 Well, that's my cue. 68 00:04:47,472 --> 00:04:48,806 Talk to you later. See ya. 69 00:04:52,744 --> 00:04:54,011 Yo. 70 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,514 You know what your problem is? 71 00:04:57,347 --> 00:04:59,550 Did I consent to this conversation? 72 00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:00,918 You think you smarter than everybody. 73 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,419 'Cause you all serious all the time 74 00:05:02,453 --> 00:05:03,554 and 'cause I always clowning and whatevs, 75 00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:05,957 you think I'm not thoughtful and shit. 76 00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:06,924 Well, yes. 77 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,760 But my shit is deep, though. 78 00:05:09,694 --> 00:05:11,496 And how deep would that shit be? 79 00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:12,697 Yo, check this. 80 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:16,501 So I used to wonder so few black people are serial killers. 81 00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:18,002 But then I figured it out. 82 00:05:18,035 --> 00:05:19,771 The whole thing about being a serial killer 83 00:05:19,804 --> 00:05:22,339 is that cops leave 'em alone so you do it again and again. 84 00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:24,575 Jeffrey Dahmer's got some rotten dead guy in his freezer 85 00:05:24,609 --> 00:05:26,711 cops come over, well Mr. Dahmer, 86 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,079 we've had some complaints about a smell, 87 00:05:28,112 --> 00:05:30,047 but looks like everything's fine here. 88 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,115 Why don't you get back to skull fucking 89 00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:33,985 that corpse you just warmed up in the microwave. 90 00:05:34,018 --> 00:05:35,453 Brother can't do that. 91 00:05:35,486 --> 00:05:36,319 Black man walkin' down the street, 92 00:05:36,353 --> 00:05:37,688 the cops go hey hey what's your name? 93 00:05:37,722 --> 00:05:38,890 Show me some ID, get in the car, 94 00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:39,924 we're gonna beat your ass 95 00:05:39,957 --> 00:05:41,893 until you confess to something you ain't done. 96 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,494 There ain't no time to pick up 20 girls 97 00:05:43,528 --> 00:05:45,362 on the street and make hooker soup out of 'em. 98 00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:48,398 Police be on a brother's ass every other week. 99 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,537 Stevie, do you actually know any black people? 100 00:05:54,806 --> 00:05:55,673 No. 101 00:05:55,706 --> 00:05:56,707 But you know why? 102 00:05:56,741 --> 00:05:59,544 'Cause it's a racist conspiracy. 103 00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:01,712 Oh hang on, you got something on your face. 104 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,119 Okay, that was cute, but I'm going this way, 105 00:06:08,152 --> 00:06:09,754 and you're going that way. 106 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,989 No worries, no bigness. 107 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:14,391 Tell your Mama she was on her game the day she made you. 108 00:06:14,424 --> 00:06:16,127 You a fine little meow meow. 109 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,028 Meow meow. 110 00:06:20,397 --> 00:06:22,033 French philosopher Octave Mirbeau 111 00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:25,402 once wrote the universe appears to me like an immense, 112 00:06:25,435 --> 00:06:27,038 inexorable torture garden. 113 00:06:27,071 --> 00:06:29,372 Do you agree or disagree and why? 114 00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:34,411 I feel this is a trick question. 115 00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:39,116 Life is torture for everyone who's not stupid or super rich. 116 00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:43,120 But that answer will make you think that I am someone 117 00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,723 who will spend their whole time at school 118 00:06:46,858 --> 00:06:48,159 starting campus protests. 119 00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:49,493 So, 120 00:06:51,095 --> 00:06:53,430 no, I disagree. 121 00:06:54,364 --> 00:06:57,768 The universe is a beautiful place full of laughing babies 122 00:06:57,802 --> 00:06:59,904 and puppies that fart rainbows. 123 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:02,640 Describe the world 124 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,877 within 100 feet of you right now. 125 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:06,878 Okay. 126 00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:11,816 Well, there's my dad, who is probably peeing. 127 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:14,485 My dad seems to be peeing a lot these days. 128 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,856 Perhaps he is pregnant. 129 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:21,926 My teddy bear Lionel. 130 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:24,562 The vibrator I ordered online 131 00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:26,197 using my elderly neighbor's name 132 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:28,666 so if my dad opened the box I could just say 133 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,468 the mailman made a mistake. 134 00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:35,506 My custom magic 8 ball that only gives me answers I like. 135 00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:43,881 And a sweaty fat chick 136 00:07:43,915 --> 00:07:47,885 sitting at a computer who really hopes she gets into college 137 00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:49,921 so she can escape this butthole of a town 138 00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:51,522 before it eats her alive. 139 00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:55,126 Please attach a photo of yourself. 140 00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:39,070 Aren't I old enough for grown-up food? 141 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,072 I don't have time to make two meals. 142 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:45,076 You, 143 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,546 you need chew food. 144 00:08:48,579 --> 00:08:49,714 I am. 145 00:08:49,747 --> 00:08:52,216 No, you need chew more. 146 00:08:52,249 --> 00:08:54,752 40 times every bite. 147 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,620 Digest properly. 148 00:08:56,654 --> 00:09:00,891 Food expand in stomach, get stuck in intestine for weeks. 149 00:09:02,226 --> 00:09:03,260 Even months. 150 00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:05,663 If that were true, wouldn't people just explode? 151 00:09:05,696 --> 00:09:06,897 Don't be sassy. 152 00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:09,567 40 times. 153 00:09:11,002 --> 00:09:14,038 One, two, three, 154 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:15,906 four, five. 155 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:17,641 See? 156 00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:20,144 Six, seven, eight. 157 00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:23,848 Nine, 10, 11. No chew? 158 00:09:30,788 --> 00:09:31,722 Do you have any mints? 159 00:09:31,756 --> 00:09:34,158 My mom will shit if she smells this on me. 160 00:09:34,191 --> 00:09:35,059 Nolo problemo. 161 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:45,136 I bow downeth before thee, noble knave. 162 00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:48,939 Oh, show's starting. 163 00:09:50,941 --> 00:09:51,609 Isn't it cool when you see 164 00:09:51,642 --> 00:09:54,745 two ugly people totally in love? 165 00:09:54,779 --> 00:09:56,814 How do you know they're in love? 166 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,082 They're probably both married 167 00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:00,684 and met on fatsoswannahaveanaffair.com. 168 00:10:00,718 --> 00:10:02,953 Come on, he adores her. 169 00:10:02,987 --> 00:10:04,789 Cooking her dinner. 170 00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:07,591 Yeah, so he can hit that droopy behind after. 171 00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:10,294 You mean right now. 172 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,698 I feel bad we're watching. 173 00:10:14,732 --> 00:10:16,100 Not too bad, obviously. 174 00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:21,939 It's biological 'cause he puts out chemicals 175 00:10:21,972 --> 00:10:23,274 in the air that go into her brain 176 00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:26,143 and they make her feel all lovey dovey. 177 00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:28,212 I saw a TV show about it. 178 00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:31,015 So that's why people fall in love? 179 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,218 That's what people write books and songs and poetry about? 180 00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:36,287 Chemicals? 181 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,254 The way we smell? 182 00:10:38,322 --> 00:10:39,590 Yeah, pretty much. 183 00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:42,660 Yeah, I dunno. 184 00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,873 Okay, now I feel bad for watching. 185 00:10:57,374 --> 00:11:01,645 Oh my god, how does that even work? 186 00:11:03,114 --> 00:11:04,982 I think we're venturing into can't be unseen 187 00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,217 territory. No. 188 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,091 As you know, the recent gangland style murders 189 00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:17,361 at nearby Pettitville Elementary School have given 190 00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:18,229 everyone in our community. Did you do 191 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,830 your college essays yet? 192 00:11:19,864 --> 00:11:21,332 No, my mom's paying someone to do it. 193 00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:23,901 A pro, some guy she found on the internet. 194 00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:31,342 Luckily, the School Board, along with Coach Greene, 195 00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,410 using his position as head 196 00:11:33,444 --> 00:11:36,881 of Morgansfield Volunteer Militia, 197 00:11:36,914 --> 00:11:39,183 have agreed upon a plan to keep 198 00:11:39,216 --> 00:11:42,786 us all safe at this unstable time. 199 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,326 Stevie D tried to kiss me. 200 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,828 When? After school. 201 00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:53,931 That plan involves arming 202 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,067 and training our janitorial staff. 203 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,404 What? Sometimes I am glad I'm ugly 204 00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:03,073 so I don't have d-bags hitting on me. 205 00:12:03,107 --> 00:12:04,808 You're not ugly. 206 00:12:04,842 --> 00:12:06,478 You'll always be more popular than me. 207 00:12:06,511 --> 00:12:08,212 If we didn't have ballet class together when we were seven, 208 00:12:08,245 --> 00:12:10,047 we wouldn't be friends now. Staff can become 209 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,882 the good guys with the guns. 210 00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:13,317 See, what's that? Hey. 211 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,289 You gonna go be all cool without me? 212 00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:22,760 Our head janitor and newly named 213 00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:26,931 Chief of School Security, Jaime Jimenez. 214 00:12:33,437 --> 00:12:35,839 Does this pity party have a dress code? 215 00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:36,907 Just stop. 216 00:12:36,941 --> 00:12:38,976 What if I don't wanna stop? I love the students 217 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,744 in this school. 218 00:12:40,778 --> 00:12:45,783 But even more, I love to be crime stopping hero 219 00:12:45,983 --> 00:12:47,418 shooting the bad guys. 220 00:12:48,986 --> 00:12:52,756 Thanks you for this opportunity to live my dreams. 221 00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:57,828 And go tigers. 222 00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:20,317 Next on Knocked Up Castaways, 223 00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:24,522 Bree is 32 weeks and finds the last coconut on St. Marcos. 224 00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:30,127 Janet, what's a five letter word for mistake? 225 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,062 Starts with a B? 226 00:13:32,096 --> 00:13:32,997 I don't know. 227 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,303 Dad, do we have any ice cream? 228 00:13:39,336 --> 00:13:40,472 I ate the last. 229 00:13:40,505 --> 00:13:42,273 Thanks. 230 00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:43,274 Well there's peppermint cake. 231 00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:46,478 From like two years ago, I hate peppermint cake. 232 00:13:46,511 --> 00:13:48,145 I know. 233 00:13:48,178 --> 00:13:50,114 That's why it's still there, I guess. 234 00:13:52,383 --> 00:13:54,118 [Female Announcer] I used to doubt myself. 235 00:13:54,151 --> 00:13:57,421 Worried about whether I was good enough, pretty enough. 236 00:13:57,455 --> 00:14:00,424 If the things I felt were wrong, or even crazy. 237 00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:04,962 That's why I talked to my doctor about Femtrexl. 238 00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:06,997 If you are a woman 14-70 239 00:14:07,031 --> 00:14:11,168 and feel overwhelmed by your feelings, Femtrexl can help. 240 00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:12,836 Femtrexl can also help you 241 00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:14,905 manage your weight without dieting. 242 00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:18,242 For your free trial, call this number 243 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,578 or text to 56495. 244 00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:25,550 Possible side effects of Femtrexl include dry mouth, 245 00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:27,384 irritability, hallucinations, depression, 246 00:14:27,418 --> 00:14:28,886 suicidal thoughts, mood swings, 247 00:14:28,919 --> 00:14:30,321 and hormonal changes including discontinuation 248 00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:32,022 of the menstrual cycle. Boner. 249 00:14:32,056 --> 00:14:33,424 What? 250 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,426 Boner, the word. 251 00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,461 Boner? 252 00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:37,495 That's the word? 253 00:14:37,529 --> 00:14:39,029 Yes, Dad. 254 00:14:39,063 --> 00:14:39,930 Boner. 255 00:15:28,445 --> 00:15:29,346 The security question 256 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:32,383 is what was your favorite teacher's name? 257 00:15:32,416 --> 00:15:33,618 If my memory was that good 258 00:15:33,651 --> 00:15:36,286 I wouldn't have forgotten my stupid password to begin with. 259 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,921 Prettygirl68. 260 00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:39,557 You only have two password. 261 00:15:39,591 --> 00:15:40,424 Oh great, 262 00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:41,659 now the person at the door knows it, too. 263 00:15:41,693 --> 00:15:42,660 You worry too much. 264 00:15:42,694 --> 00:15:45,095 Nobody steal like that. And all Christmas music 265 00:15:45,129 --> 00:15:47,264 is made in September. 266 00:15:47,297 --> 00:15:48,966 Tricking or treating? 267 00:15:48,999 --> 00:15:49,933 Is Kat home? 268 00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:52,336 She not home. 269 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,304 Can I help you with something? 270 00:15:54,338 --> 00:15:56,273 We were supposed to do homework together. 271 00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,609 Do you know where she is? 272 00:15:57,642 --> 00:15:59,042 It Halloween. 273 00:15:59,076 --> 00:16:00,444 She probably out there frightening 274 00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:02,446 little children and old people. 275 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,347 You want wait? 276 00:16:10,187 --> 00:16:12,557 You know, you have pretty face. 277 00:16:15,627 --> 00:16:16,927 Looking at you, 278 00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:21,666 I am thinking we can do something very nice together. 279 00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:23,568 You might not like it at start, 280 00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:26,370 but it will make you feel very, very good. 281 00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:29,273 I show you. 282 00:16:29,306 --> 00:16:30,340 First time, no problem. 283 00:16:30,374 --> 00:16:34,244 No, I really don't... Come on, it won't take long. 284 00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:35,513 There is room in basement. 285 00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,659 Is very good for burning fat. 286 00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:53,665 Okay, you try. 287 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:55,767 Wait, wait. 288 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,669 It's not bad time of month, no? 289 00:16:58,636 --> 00:16:59,471 No. 290 00:16:59,504 --> 00:17:00,738 Oh, good. 291 00:17:00,772 --> 00:17:03,240 Never exercise during that time, never. 292 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:04,374 Also, no camping, okay? 293 00:17:04,408 --> 00:17:07,311 The smell, it attract bear and wolf from miles away. 294 00:17:07,344 --> 00:17:09,079 You sure enough dead. 295 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,282 It's okay, Asians don't camp really. 296 00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:15,085 Interesting. 297 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:15,986 Please. 298 00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:19,022 You do 20. 20? 299 00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:19,691 Yes. 300 00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:21,191 I've never done one. 301 00:17:22,426 --> 00:17:24,161 Okay. Come on. 302 00:17:24,194 --> 00:17:25,463 Yeah, you can do it. 303 00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:26,363 Come on. 304 00:17:27,364 --> 00:17:29,534 Burn the baby fat, burn it. 305 00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:30,434 That hurts. 306 00:17:31,335 --> 00:17:35,372 In my country, women have to be tough like boys. 307 00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:37,207 Is that to fight the bears? 308 00:17:37,241 --> 00:17:40,244 I am more traditional American guy. 309 00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:42,246 I take care of money. 310 00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:44,147 She stay home and be pretty. 311 00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,118 Whoa. 312 00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,755 Easy there, Mike Tyson, it's just exercise. 313 00:17:50,788 --> 00:17:51,789 Woo. 314 00:17:51,823 --> 00:17:53,423 You're a fast learner. 315 00:17:55,225 --> 00:17:57,595 Whoa, whoa, got an invite? 316 00:17:57,629 --> 00:17:59,263 Yo dog, I'm a s'more. 317 00:17:59,296 --> 00:18:02,099 Selling grams to crackers, you feel me? 318 00:18:02,132 --> 00:18:03,400 Come on, man, no invite, no party. 319 00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,570 Oh, come on man, help a brother out. 320 00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:08,138 Get outta here. 321 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,039 Next. 322 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,249 Jesus, are you stalking me? 323 00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:20,117 Sometimes not that much difference 324 00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:22,787 between extra friendly and criminal. 325 00:18:24,622 --> 00:18:25,790 Nice costume. 326 00:18:25,823 --> 00:18:27,692 Who you supposed to be? 327 00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,627 I'm a Roy Lichtenstein painting. 328 00:18:30,828 --> 00:18:32,797 Lichtenstein, he's good. 329 00:18:33,831 --> 00:18:35,432 Can you sneak me in? 330 00:18:35,466 --> 00:18:36,534 No. 331 00:18:36,568 --> 00:18:38,736 Come on, we'll go in together, it'll be super easy. 332 00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:40,738 I don't want to go back in, it's boring. 333 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,775 Well then at least could you let me 334 00:18:43,808 --> 00:18:45,375 took on that boom shaka laka. 335 00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:02,627 That's good, that relaxes me. 336 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:03,628 I can see that. 337 00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:07,197 You know how like you can 338 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,201 bring a dog on a plane now without being blind? 339 00:19:12,135 --> 00:19:13,871 You just need like a letter from your doctor 340 00:19:13,905 --> 00:19:15,840 that says it helps you relax. 341 00:19:15,873 --> 00:19:17,475 What kind of shit is that? 342 00:19:17,508 --> 00:19:18,175 Helps you relax. 343 00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:20,143 You know what helps me relax? 344 00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:21,613 A bong and a big booty stripper. 345 00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:23,615 They don't let me bring that on a plane, though. 346 00:19:23,648 --> 00:19:25,349 Strippers, huh? 347 00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,584 You can't even get into a high school party, 348 00:19:26,618 --> 00:19:28,519 how do you get let in a strip club? 349 00:19:31,689 --> 00:19:33,390 What are you kids doing here? 350 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,292 We live here. 351 00:19:35,325 --> 00:19:36,461 Brandon's our brother. 352 00:19:36,494 --> 00:19:38,830 He kicked us out until the party's over. 353 00:19:38,863 --> 00:19:41,599 They're using my room for corn oil wrestling. 354 00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:43,468 Where are your parents? 355 00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:44,769 In Costa Rica. 356 00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:45,870 I wanna go to bed. 357 00:19:46,871 --> 00:19:47,705 Why don't you guys talk 358 00:19:47,739 --> 00:19:49,507 to those nice men over there, okay? 359 00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:50,642 They'll put you to bed. 360 00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:55,680 My bro sneaks me into Sugars in Middlefield. 361 00:19:55,713 --> 00:19:57,482 Told 'em I was 25. 362 00:19:57,515 --> 00:19:58,616 They bought it, too. 363 00:19:58,650 --> 00:19:59,416 25? 364 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,853 Is it a strip club for the blind? 365 00:20:01,886 --> 00:20:04,856 Unicorn, freeze! 366 00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:06,189 High protein. 367 00:20:07,558 --> 00:20:10,193 Doesn't Kat's mom have a business? 368 00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:11,729 She did. 369 00:20:11,763 --> 00:20:14,932 In Graysville, a vintage used pillow shop. 370 00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:16,801 What happened to it? 371 00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:18,235 Bedbugs. 372 00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:21,773 People kept returning pillows 373 00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:23,741 with rash on side of face, 374 00:20:23,775 --> 00:20:28,345 red bites on the neck, internet reviews not so good. 375 00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:29,714 Yeesh. 376 00:20:29,747 --> 00:20:32,315 Diane, very rich lady, 377 00:20:33,785 --> 00:20:36,253 not so smart at financials. 378 00:20:36,286 --> 00:20:40,625 When Vigara was coming out, she invested in Spanish Fly. 379 00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,562 Nothing you need to understand. 380 00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:54,539 She is foolish to stay at work. 381 00:20:54,572 --> 00:20:59,544 Women are good at certain things, feelings, love, worrying. 382 00:20:59,744 --> 00:21:02,580 Men are good at other things. 383 00:21:02,613 --> 00:21:06,484 Money, killing, growing beard. 384 00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:08,820 Creating amazing technologies 385 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:10,722 that will eventually destroy us all. 386 00:21:12,857 --> 00:21:13,725 Yes. 387 00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:21,966 I can't believe I'm doing this. 388 00:21:21,999 --> 00:21:22,900 Girl, why you frontin'? 389 00:21:22,934 --> 00:21:24,736 You wet as a mermaid. 390 00:21:27,905 --> 00:21:29,741 Do you have a condom? 391 00:21:29,774 --> 00:21:31,876 Chill baby, I got my golden ticket. 392 00:21:34,011 --> 00:21:35,780 Are you sure it's on right? 393 00:21:35,813 --> 00:21:37,882 It's all good, all right? 394 00:21:37,915 --> 00:21:39,617 It's all good. 395 00:21:39,650 --> 00:21:40,651 Oh. 396 00:21:40,685 --> 00:21:42,319 Oh yeah. 397 00:21:42,352 --> 00:21:44,655 That's it, yeah. 398 00:21:44,689 --> 00:21:45,556 Oh, you nasty. 399 00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:48,926 Oh, oh, oh, atta boy. 400 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,293 That's mama's home cookin' right there. 401 00:21:50,327 --> 00:21:52,029 Get the groceries, get the groceries. 402 00:22:02,439 --> 00:22:03,574 Are you done? 403 00:22:03,608 --> 00:22:05,009 Yeah, baby. 404 00:22:05,042 --> 00:22:06,443 Like a ninja. 405 00:22:06,477 --> 00:22:08,012 Lightning fast with deadly skill. 406 00:22:10,948 --> 00:22:11,816 Oh. 407 00:22:14,351 --> 00:22:15,820 I know, you're welcome. 408 00:22:17,488 --> 00:22:19,991 What are you kids, oh my God. 409 00:22:20,024 --> 00:22:21,793 Just get your clothes on and get out of my car 410 00:22:21,826 --> 00:22:23,795 before I call the police. 411 00:22:25,062 --> 00:22:26,798 Are these yours or mine? These are mine. 412 00:22:31,401 --> 00:22:34,105 Oh come on, you knew I didn't have no car. 413 00:22:34,138 --> 00:22:35,640 You loved it. 414 00:22:35,673 --> 00:22:37,041 No, I can't say that I did. 415 00:22:38,643 --> 00:22:40,778 And you cannot tell anyone about this. 416 00:22:48,385 --> 00:22:50,054 Jesus, are you psycho? 417 00:22:51,155 --> 00:22:52,023 Dude, where were you? 418 00:22:52,056 --> 00:22:52,890 Don't call me dude. 419 00:22:52,924 --> 00:22:55,960 I'm not your bro and it's not 4:20. 420 00:22:55,993 --> 00:22:56,961 What happened to your face? 421 00:22:56,994 --> 00:22:58,663 What were you doing? 422 00:23:00,164 --> 00:23:02,967 Just trying to be normal. 423 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,969 You should try it sometime. 424 00:23:07,705 --> 00:23:09,406 We were supposed to do homework. 425 00:23:09,439 --> 00:23:11,042 Did you go to that party? 426 00:23:11,075 --> 00:23:12,543 Yeah, it was heinous anus. 427 00:23:12,577 --> 00:23:13,911 Be glad you weren't invited. 428 00:23:17,081 --> 00:23:18,115 You suck. 429 00:23:19,550 --> 00:23:21,418 Yeah, I probably do. 430 00:23:39,036 --> 00:23:40,071 It's her. 431 00:23:46,777 --> 00:23:48,045 What? 432 00:23:48,079 --> 00:23:49,013 Bathroom now. 433 00:23:53,017 --> 00:23:54,585 Is it true? 434 00:23:54,619 --> 00:23:56,419 You had sex with Smallie Smalls? 435 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,426 Why? 436 00:24:03,461 --> 00:24:04,996 I don't know. 437 00:24:05,029 --> 00:24:06,497 You have failed me. 438 00:24:09,834 --> 00:24:11,135 Town bike? 439 00:24:11,869 --> 00:24:14,038 And look how he spells Mayonnaise. 440 00:24:14,071 --> 00:24:15,139 Fuckin' retard. 441 00:24:16,207 --> 00:24:18,142 Who else has seen this? 442 00:24:18,175 --> 00:24:20,978 Well I've seen it, and I'm always last. 443 00:24:28,586 --> 00:24:30,588 Okay, what do I do? 444 00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:31,555 Go home. 445 00:24:31,589 --> 00:24:33,658 Go to the nurse, say you have bad cramps. 446 00:24:33,691 --> 00:24:35,192 I don't get my period for another two weeks. 447 00:24:35,226 --> 00:24:37,929 She's not gonna check. Right, right. 448 00:24:40,031 --> 00:24:41,766 I'm never gonna live this down. 449 00:24:42,533 --> 00:24:44,235 Maybe there'll be a shooting later 450 00:24:44,268 --> 00:24:45,870 and people will forget all about this. 451 00:24:58,215 --> 00:24:59,917 ♪ Banjo I'm plunkin' ♪ 452 00:24:59,951 --> 00:25:01,519 ♪ My flow is sky high ♪ 453 00:25:01,552 --> 00:25:02,954 ♪ Yours is like a munchkin ♪ 454 00:25:02,987 --> 00:25:04,822 ♪ That ass I be lovin ♪ ♪ Hey! ♪ 455 00:25:11,629 --> 00:25:13,097 Hey, that is enough. 456 00:25:14,565 --> 00:25:16,000 I'll kill you, you fat bitch. 457 00:25:18,102 --> 00:25:21,238 Janet, we have a zero tolerance policy 458 00:25:21,272 --> 00:25:22,740 towards bullying at Morgansfield High. 459 00:25:22,773 --> 00:25:24,675 He humiliated my friend. 460 00:25:24,709 --> 00:25:26,644 Your friend and her boyfriend here 461 00:25:26,677 --> 00:25:30,715 having a little lover's spat is no excuse for violence. 462 00:25:30,748 --> 00:25:32,083 No, no, no. 463 00:25:33,784 --> 00:25:35,987 And perhaps your friend should think twice 464 00:25:36,020 --> 00:25:38,789 about announcing to the whole school 465 00:25:38,823 --> 00:25:43,494 her personal matters the way she did. 466 00:25:44,295 --> 00:25:48,199 We are going to be watching your every move, young lady. 467 00:25:48,232 --> 00:25:51,068 Now, I want you both to stand up. 468 00:25:52,303 --> 00:25:53,771 Come on, stand up. 469 00:25:57,174 --> 00:25:58,142 Look at each other. 470 00:26:00,578 --> 00:26:01,779 Now apologize. 471 00:26:03,714 --> 00:26:04,582 Do it! 472 00:26:05,716 --> 00:26:07,651 I sorry. 473 00:26:07,685 --> 00:26:10,521 I also sorry. 474 00:26:12,590 --> 00:26:13,224 Now hug. 475 00:26:13,257 --> 00:26:14,258 What? 476 00:26:14,291 --> 00:26:15,259 You heard me. 477 00:26:28,205 --> 00:26:29,940 I'm gonna kill you! Ow! 478 00:26:31,976 --> 00:26:34,745 I swear to god you're gonna be dead. 479 00:26:34,779 --> 00:26:35,646 Oh my god. 480 00:26:38,716 --> 00:26:43,721 Janet, you're a smart girl and a good student. 481 00:26:44,388 --> 00:26:46,157 I think what we are dealing with here 482 00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:48,793 is bigger than a little student altercation. 483 00:26:50,061 --> 00:26:52,029 Now I think what we're dealing with here 484 00:26:52,063 --> 00:26:53,330 is a medical problem. 485 00:26:55,132 --> 00:26:57,301 Let's see if we can deal with this 486 00:26:57,334 --> 00:26:59,870 without too much trouble, shall we? 487 00:27:10,948 --> 00:27:12,316 Dad, what's all this crap? 488 00:27:13,384 --> 00:27:15,286 A man from the school came by. 489 00:27:15,319 --> 00:27:16,387 Brought you your medicine. 490 00:27:16,420 --> 00:27:18,756 Says it'll help you with your grades. 491 00:27:18,789 --> 00:27:20,024 Who came by? 492 00:27:20,057 --> 00:27:22,626 A medicine salesman, a doctor. 493 00:27:27,832 --> 00:27:28,966 This is stupid. 494 00:27:28,999 --> 00:27:30,334 I'm not gonna take it. 495 00:27:31,302 --> 00:27:33,003 Sweetie, you have to. 496 00:27:33,037 --> 00:27:35,306 If you wanna stay in school, that's what the man said. 497 00:27:39,043 --> 00:27:39,910 Fuck. 498 00:28:10,374 --> 00:28:11,543 And in the 1980s, 499 00:28:11,576 --> 00:28:14,245 America gained its greatest leader of the 20th Century. 500 00:28:14,278 --> 00:28:15,679 And that would be? 501 00:28:15,713 --> 00:28:17,148 Ronald Reagan. 502 00:28:17,181 --> 00:28:18,349 Correct. 503 00:28:18,382 --> 00:28:22,052 Ronald Reagan is the president who deregulated the banks, 504 00:28:22,086 --> 00:28:24,989 allowing this country to enjoy unprecedented 505 00:28:25,022 --> 00:28:27,324 corporate growth and prosperity. 506 00:28:27,358 --> 00:28:29,827 He also vetoed dangerous legislation 507 00:28:29,860 --> 00:28:32,196 like the Clean Air Act that would have crippled 508 00:28:32,229 --> 00:28:35,032 American industry in the name of the unproven 509 00:28:35,065 --> 00:28:37,902 health risks of air pollution. Ow. 510 00:28:40,171 --> 00:28:42,106 Is there a problem back there? 511 00:28:42,139 --> 00:28:43,407 No. Well, 512 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,210 perhaps you should go to the principal's office 513 00:28:46,243 --> 00:28:48,979 if you're going to be disrupting class like this. 514 00:28:54,318 --> 00:28:57,821 Ronald Reagan also created tremendous business opportunities 515 00:28:57,855 --> 00:29:01,725 by allowing the CIA to funnel cocaine into urban areas, 516 00:29:01,759 --> 00:29:03,961 allowing young African American entrepreneurs 517 00:29:03,994 --> 00:29:06,764 to create what? 518 00:29:06,797 --> 00:29:08,165 Crack cocaine. 519 00:29:08,199 --> 00:29:10,100 Yes, crack. 520 00:29:10,134 --> 00:29:11,001 Very good. 521 00:30:59,410 --> 00:31:02,112 I don't think this bus stop is active anymore. 522 00:31:03,047 --> 00:31:04,415 Oh, I'm just counting cars. 523 00:31:05,983 --> 00:31:06,950 Ford Focus. 524 00:31:07,619 --> 00:31:09,587 Is this some kind of YouTube thing? 525 00:31:11,322 --> 00:31:12,956 Subaru Outback. 526 00:31:12,990 --> 00:31:13,857 YouTube? 527 00:31:14,659 --> 00:31:16,494 Oh, right, no. 528 00:31:16,528 --> 00:31:17,828 It's a long story. 529 00:31:18,797 --> 00:31:21,398 If you're worried about your safety, I won't be here long. 530 00:31:24,268 --> 00:31:25,570 My name is Rian. 531 00:31:25,603 --> 00:31:26,870 R-I-A-N. 532 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,442 Sorry, I'm tripping or something. 533 00:31:31,476 --> 00:31:32,343 Tripping? 534 00:31:33,277 --> 00:31:34,111 On drugs? 535 00:31:34,144 --> 00:31:35,045 Do you need a doctor? 536 00:31:35,079 --> 00:31:37,081 No, doctor gave them to me. 537 00:31:48,292 --> 00:31:51,995 So, why are you in a space? 538 00:31:52,029 --> 00:31:52,896 Janet? 539 00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:57,368 Would you like to go on a walk with me? 540 00:31:57,401 --> 00:31:58,369 I didn't tell you my name. 541 00:31:58,402 --> 00:32:01,238 Yes you did, just right before we shook hands. 542 00:32:05,677 --> 00:32:06,544 Sure. 543 00:32:12,182 --> 00:32:13,183 Oh, wow. 544 00:32:14,218 --> 00:32:15,152 Look at this. 545 00:32:17,254 --> 00:32:19,089 I thought these guys would have all been killed off 546 00:32:19,123 --> 00:32:20,458 by pesticides by now. 547 00:32:23,561 --> 00:32:24,428 Make a wish. 548 00:32:25,295 --> 00:32:27,331 Don't tell me or it won't come true. 549 00:32:36,508 --> 00:32:39,042 Aren't you hot in that suit? 550 00:32:39,076 --> 00:32:39,711 Well, there's germs out there 551 00:32:39,744 --> 00:32:41,945 that could be dangerous. 552 00:32:41,979 --> 00:32:44,248 May not have the immunity, don't wanna risk it. 553 00:32:49,654 --> 00:32:51,355 Do you believe in UFOs? 554 00:32:51,388 --> 00:32:53,090 If aliens are visiting us, 555 00:32:53,123 --> 00:32:56,093 why is it always in some cowboy town in New Mexico? 556 00:32:56,126 --> 00:32:59,029 Wouldn't they want to go to the UN or something? 557 00:32:59,062 --> 00:33:01,599 Well, maybe because they're not aliens. 558 00:33:01,633 --> 00:33:03,200 They're us trying to hide. 559 00:33:03,233 --> 00:33:06,604 What, like secret government junk? 560 00:33:07,472 --> 00:33:09,072 It's a mistake. 561 00:33:09,106 --> 00:33:10,542 That's why they never hang out. 562 00:33:11,442 --> 00:33:14,244 The closest galaxy that could support life is the Andromeda, 563 00:33:14,278 --> 00:33:16,481 which is over two million light years away. 564 00:33:16,514 --> 00:33:19,082 That's two million years of travel. 565 00:33:19,116 --> 00:33:21,218 That's shitloads hella far. 566 00:33:21,251 --> 00:33:24,388 They would have to leave before humans even existed. 567 00:33:24,421 --> 00:33:25,590 Even with faster than light travel, 568 00:33:25,623 --> 00:33:28,760 which is still theoretical, even with a Krasnikov tube, 569 00:33:28,793 --> 00:33:30,662 they'd come back home in five years 570 00:33:30,695 --> 00:33:33,263 and 5000 years would have passed. 571 00:33:33,297 --> 00:33:37,201 All your friends long dead, nobody remembers you. 572 00:33:39,036 --> 00:33:41,338 And for what, Big Mac? 573 00:33:42,740 --> 00:33:44,107 The Grand Canyon, maybe? 574 00:33:45,677 --> 00:33:47,712 Not really worth the trip, don't you think? 575 00:33:48,746 --> 00:33:49,747 You lost me, dude. 576 00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:54,218 People think time is this. 577 00:33:55,219 --> 00:33:57,054 But it's like this. 578 00:33:57,087 --> 00:33:58,790 Different times running parallel, 579 00:33:58,823 --> 00:34:00,991 and sometimes they run into each other. 580 00:34:03,093 --> 00:34:05,295 So, you're from the future now? 581 00:34:06,263 --> 00:34:09,333 What makes insane people always wanna talk to me? 582 00:34:09,366 --> 00:34:11,201 Should I scowl more? Did you ever do something 583 00:34:11,235 --> 00:34:12,035 that changed the whole course 584 00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:13,505 of your life from that moment on? 585 00:34:15,205 --> 00:34:16,741 Or when things get weird 586 00:34:16,774 --> 00:34:19,209 and you think who's life is this? 587 00:34:19,243 --> 00:34:20,344 Maybe you just slipped 588 00:34:20,377 --> 00:34:22,346 into one of your alternate time lines. 589 00:34:22,379 --> 00:34:24,414 You mean like right now? 590 00:34:24,448 --> 00:34:25,415 I'm time traveling? 591 00:34:25,449 --> 00:34:26,316 Well, sure. 592 00:34:27,217 --> 00:34:29,119 We're all time travelers. 593 00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:30,020 One, two, 594 00:34:31,121 --> 00:34:32,122 three, four. 595 00:34:33,858 --> 00:34:38,295 There we go, traveling through time into the future. 596 00:34:39,664 --> 00:34:42,299 I think I'm too high for any of this. 597 00:34:42,332 --> 00:34:43,635 You're just a side effect anyway. 598 00:34:43,668 --> 00:34:45,269 I'm imagining you. 599 00:34:50,340 --> 00:34:51,208 Ow. 600 00:34:53,443 --> 00:34:54,612 You sure I'm not real? 601 00:34:58,148 --> 00:35:00,117 I think I should be going home now. 602 00:35:06,156 --> 00:35:10,461 I'm trippin' my tits off. 603 00:35:12,262 --> 00:35:14,632 I've never been outside so long. 604 00:35:14,666 --> 00:35:19,671 I feel sort of exposed. 605 00:35:29,614 --> 00:35:31,081 Janet. 606 00:35:32,316 --> 00:35:33,183 Janet. 607 00:35:54,304 --> 00:35:55,873 Time to get up, kiddo. 608 00:36:13,558 --> 00:36:14,224 Hey. 609 00:36:14,257 --> 00:36:16,494 Thanks for remembering I exist. 610 00:36:17,662 --> 00:36:19,464 Sorry, I'm freaking out. 611 00:36:20,598 --> 00:36:22,900 Can't decide which rad party to go to? 612 00:36:25,435 --> 00:36:26,838 I'm pregnant. 613 00:36:26,871 --> 00:36:28,506 What? 614 00:36:28,539 --> 00:36:29,907 Are you sure? 615 00:36:29,941 --> 00:36:31,542 I took the test. 616 00:36:32,242 --> 00:36:35,713 No way, I thought loser face used a condom. 617 00:36:36,514 --> 00:36:40,217 I think he didn't, he just said he did. 618 00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:41,653 How hard do you want me to hit him this time? 619 00:36:41,686 --> 00:36:42,954 No, he can't know. 620 00:36:42,987 --> 00:36:44,822 What are you gonna do? 621 00:36:44,856 --> 00:36:48,191 I don't know, I'm thinking about keeping it. 622 00:36:48,893 --> 00:36:50,795 Yeah, 'cause every kid wants 623 00:36:50,828 --> 00:36:53,263 to be born to a 17 year old and some random douchebag. 624 00:36:53,296 --> 00:36:54,866 No, that's the point. 625 00:36:54,899 --> 00:36:59,537 Maybe I can be the world's worst mom ever. 626 00:36:59,570 --> 00:37:02,239 Name it Hitler, cover it with prison tattoos, 627 00:37:02,272 --> 00:37:05,275 really go all out with it like an art project. 628 00:37:05,308 --> 00:37:06,844 You've had better ideas. 629 00:37:08,278 --> 00:37:10,915 If I go to the clinic, will you come with me? 630 00:37:10,948 --> 00:37:11,616 My mom can't know. 631 00:37:11,649 --> 00:37:14,418 Her and Vlad will fucking flip. 632 00:37:14,451 --> 00:37:16,888 Yes, stupid questioner. 633 00:37:18,388 --> 00:37:19,724 Can you come over? 634 00:37:19,757 --> 00:37:20,792 And bring ice cream? 635 00:37:22,392 --> 00:37:23,895 Maybe. 636 00:37:23,928 --> 00:37:28,900 ♪ I was there I heard the crackling of the palms ♪ 637 00:37:30,702 --> 00:37:32,837 ♪ He came upstairs ♪ Whoa. 638 00:37:32,870 --> 00:37:34,972 Was that Mr. Muckles? 639 00:37:35,006 --> 00:37:35,840 Uh huh. 640 00:37:35,873 --> 00:37:37,075 It's a miracle. 641 00:37:37,108 --> 00:37:40,712 I've known you 10 years and I've seen that cat like twice. 642 00:37:40,745 --> 00:37:41,979 Maybe it's a bad sign. 643 00:37:52,289 --> 00:37:54,659 Two coats of paint and they still glow. 644 00:37:55,827 --> 00:37:57,995 Deadly radiation killing us both. 645 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,367 Childhood refusing to leave 646 00:38:04,401 --> 00:38:05,803 even when asked nicely. 647 00:38:20,485 --> 00:38:22,252 Ms. Nuemann? One second. 648 00:38:23,988 --> 00:38:25,857 I'm going to take you to the see the doctor now. 649 00:38:25,890 --> 00:38:29,460 Is there anything you'd like to say or any second thoughts? 650 00:38:29,494 --> 00:38:30,461 No. 651 00:38:30,495 --> 00:38:32,463 Do you have a ride home? 652 00:38:32,497 --> 00:38:34,632 And you don't have any allergies to medication? 653 00:38:34,665 --> 00:38:36,768 No, just peanut butter. 654 00:38:37,502 --> 00:38:40,270 There are no peanuts involved in the procedure. 655 00:38:43,808 --> 00:38:45,009 Dr. Blake? 656 00:38:45,042 --> 00:38:45,910 Hello, Katrine. 657 00:38:47,612 --> 00:38:49,580 You can't tell my mom about this. 658 00:38:49,614 --> 00:38:52,550 My work here at the Woman's Clinic is private and separate 659 00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:54,719 from my job as your family pediatrician. 660 00:38:57,989 --> 00:38:59,557 I won't tell your mother. 661 00:39:03,928 --> 00:39:08,365 Y'know, I will never get over my patients becoming adults. 662 00:39:08,398 --> 00:39:10,067 Seems like sooner every year. 663 00:39:11,636 --> 00:39:13,070 Sorry. 664 00:39:13,104 --> 00:39:15,940 I have eight year olds menstruating. 665 00:39:15,973 --> 00:39:16,908 Yikes. 666 00:39:16,941 --> 00:39:18,375 I blame Fruit Roll-Ups. 667 00:39:19,577 --> 00:39:21,045 Anyway, 668 00:39:21,078 --> 00:39:23,681 how are you? 669 00:39:23,714 --> 00:39:24,916 Okay. 670 00:39:24,949 --> 00:39:26,617 Nervous. 671 00:39:26,651 --> 00:39:28,886 We're give you a mild sedative, that should help. 672 00:39:29,921 --> 00:39:33,558 Are you gonna get me hopped up on goofballs, Dr. Blake? 673 00:39:33,591 --> 00:39:34,926 No. 674 00:39:34,959 --> 00:39:36,861 No goofballs today, I'm afraid. 675 00:39:42,066 --> 00:39:47,071 Now Katrine, what we are about to do is safe and legal. 676 00:39:47,305 --> 00:39:50,041 State law does not require your parental consent 677 00:39:50,074 --> 00:39:51,943 or their knowledge of this procedure. 678 00:39:52,810 --> 00:39:55,680 However, due to recent changes in federal law, 679 00:39:55,713 --> 00:39:58,583 a police officer is required to be here 680 00:39:58,616 --> 00:40:01,152 every time I do a procedure 681 00:40:01,185 --> 00:40:03,654 on an unmarried patient under 21. 682 00:40:20,204 --> 00:40:21,672 At your cervix. 683 00:40:36,187 --> 00:40:38,055 Quack, quack. 684 00:40:38,089 --> 00:40:39,690 Hello, Katrine. 685 00:40:44,462 --> 00:40:48,099 You're gonna feel a little pressure, like a tummy ache. 686 00:40:57,475 --> 00:40:59,744 How's that sedative working? 687 00:41:07,218 --> 00:41:08,586 That's a good girl. 688 00:41:09,587 --> 00:41:10,420 Almost done. 689 00:41:13,057 --> 00:41:13,925 Almost. 690 00:41:35,613 --> 00:41:38,049 Three feet back, folks, that's the law. 691 00:41:38,082 --> 00:41:39,517 Three feet back. 692 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,689 You killed your baby, you whore! 693 00:41:44,722 --> 00:41:45,523 Shut up! 694 00:41:45,556 --> 00:41:46,991 You're going to go to hell. Shut up! 695 00:41:47,024 --> 00:41:49,794 Murderer, murderer! 696 00:41:49,827 --> 00:41:54,799 I'm never having sex again or anything else. 697 00:41:54,832 --> 00:41:55,700 Ever again. 698 00:41:57,201 --> 00:41:58,936 It's all gonna be fine. 699 00:43:42,673 --> 00:43:44,275 The definition of a traitor is someone 700 00:43:44,308 --> 00:43:47,078 who betrays a country or a sacred institution. 701 00:43:47,778 --> 00:43:49,780 A traitor is especially dangerous 702 00:43:49,814 --> 00:43:51,715 because they destroy from where? 703 00:43:53,184 --> 00:43:54,185 From within. 704 00:43:57,388 --> 00:43:59,256 History has given us many famous traitors 705 00:43:59,290 --> 00:44:02,393 whose treacherous deeds have killed 706 00:44:02,426 --> 00:44:05,396 and corrupted untold lives. 707 00:44:05,429 --> 00:44:07,865 Judas, Benedict Arnold, 708 00:44:07,898 --> 00:44:10,935 Mata Hari, Jane Fonda. 709 00:44:10,968 --> 00:44:13,204 But none so deadly as the man 710 00:44:13,237 --> 00:44:15,873 you probably have already heard of, 711 00:44:16,575 --> 00:44:21,245 a dictator whose face and name shall live in infamy. 712 00:44:22,179 --> 00:44:26,383 A man who, not so long ago, a whole nation of wayward, 713 00:44:26,417 --> 00:44:30,855 supposedly civilized people supported and even championed 714 00:44:30,888 --> 00:44:34,058 despite his evil, evil deeds. 715 00:44:42,233 --> 00:44:43,834 William Jefferson Clinton. 716 00:44:58,249 --> 00:44:59,950 How can they send you to sex rehab 717 00:44:59,984 --> 00:45:01,752 when you've barely had sex? 718 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,421 I hate growing up. 719 00:45:04,456 --> 00:45:06,690 Your mother's the devil. 720 00:45:06,724 --> 00:45:08,425 She's not that bad. Fine. 721 00:45:08,460 --> 00:45:10,027 The devil's doula, then. 722 00:45:12,163 --> 00:45:14,098 Your mother's crazy. 723 00:45:14,131 --> 00:45:16,267 Yeah, ever since she went through the change, 724 00:45:16,300 --> 00:45:19,103 she got that PBS totebag and it was all over. 725 00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:21,238 The sure sign of menopause. 726 00:45:21,272 --> 00:45:22,474 How long will you be gone? 727 00:45:22,507 --> 00:45:25,743 They won't tell me, till I get better. 728 00:45:26,977 --> 00:45:29,880 You are not a sex addict. 729 00:45:29,914 --> 00:45:31,415 She says that one of the signs 730 00:45:31,448 --> 00:45:33,250 of sex addiction is lying about it. 731 00:45:34,084 --> 00:45:36,921 No one's honest with their parents about sex. 732 00:45:36,954 --> 00:45:38,255 Hey Mom, I'm going to the football game 733 00:45:38,289 --> 00:45:40,291 to blow the starting lineup behind the bleachers, 734 00:45:40,324 --> 00:45:42,059 be home by 11. 735 00:45:42,092 --> 00:45:43,227 Yeah. 736 00:45:43,260 --> 00:45:44,361 Will you visit me? 737 00:45:44,395 --> 00:45:46,498 It's like three hours away and I won't have internet. 738 00:45:46,531 --> 00:45:48,165 Of course I'll visit. 739 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,735 Mom and Vlad will just buy a dog 740 00:45:51,769 --> 00:45:53,337 and pretend I never happened. 741 00:46:05,382 --> 00:46:06,250 Hey. 742 00:46:07,552 --> 00:46:09,153 Excuse me, can we? 743 00:46:26,437 --> 00:46:28,372 Katrine, I know I failed you. 744 00:46:29,406 --> 00:46:30,274 If I was a good mother, 745 00:46:30,307 --> 00:46:32,843 we would have talked about these things. 746 00:46:32,876 --> 00:46:35,879 Mistakes you've made, mistakes I've made. 747 00:46:37,047 --> 00:46:39,183 But at least now, before you go away, 748 00:46:39,216 --> 00:46:40,751 we have some time to do that. 749 00:46:41,486 --> 00:46:43,387 Mom, is that really necessary? 750 00:46:43,420 --> 00:46:47,258 Yes, yeah it is. 751 00:46:47,291 --> 00:46:49,793 As long as we have. You have four hours, 752 00:46:49,827 --> 00:46:52,296 29 minutes to your destination. 753 00:46:52,329 --> 00:46:55,065 As long as we have these four hours and 29 minutes 754 00:46:55,099 --> 00:46:57,401 together we're gonna make the most of it. 755 00:47:02,474 --> 00:47:04,275 Look, I'm old. 756 00:47:04,308 --> 00:47:06,944 When I was your age, the rainbow hanging in the window 757 00:47:06,977 --> 00:47:08,513 of a store meant that they sold televisions 758 00:47:08,546 --> 00:47:09,481 that were in color. 759 00:47:10,180 --> 00:47:13,551 I don't pretend to know what a popular, 760 00:47:13,585 --> 00:47:17,321 beautiful young woman goes through in the 21st century. 761 00:47:17,354 --> 00:47:19,023 Perhaps you can enlighten me. 762 00:47:20,324 --> 00:47:21,859 Well, I guess you'd have to ask someone 763 00:47:21,892 --> 00:47:23,927 who was popular and beautiful. 764 00:47:26,196 --> 00:47:28,533 Why are you avoiding this intimate 765 00:47:28,566 --> 00:47:30,834 mother daughter bonding time? 766 00:47:30,868 --> 00:47:32,069 Why? 767 00:47:32,102 --> 00:47:32,970 Why? 768 00:47:34,305 --> 00:47:35,172 Dammit. 769 00:47:40,878 --> 00:47:42,046 Okay. 770 00:47:42,079 --> 00:47:44,482 If you can't be honest with me, I'll be honest with you. 771 00:47:45,483 --> 00:47:46,518 You know how I told your father 772 00:47:46,551 --> 00:47:48,252 I got herpes from a yoga mat? 773 00:47:50,287 --> 00:47:51,155 Well, I didn't. 774 00:47:53,525 --> 00:47:55,326 Let's just leave it at that. 775 00:47:55,359 --> 00:47:57,961 Yes, let's please. 776 00:48:02,166 --> 00:48:05,035 ♪ I am in love with the McDonald's girl ♪ 777 00:48:05,069 --> 00:48:08,439 Oh, you used to love this song when you were little. 778 00:48:08,473 --> 00:48:11,442 ♪ I am in love with the McDonald's girl ♪ 779 00:48:11,476 --> 00:48:13,043 Come on, you know the words. 780 00:48:13,077 --> 00:48:13,944 No, stop. 781 00:48:13,977 --> 00:48:16,146 ♪ She is an angel in the polyester uni ♪ 782 00:48:16,180 --> 00:48:18,483 Come on, sing along. No, I don't. 783 00:48:21,586 --> 00:48:23,488 Why do you hate me so much? 784 00:48:24,522 --> 00:48:27,191 ♪ She's taking orders from the Saddle River Little League ♪ 785 00:48:27,224 --> 00:48:28,526 What did I do? 786 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:32,296 ♪ If they knew how much I wanted her ♪ 787 00:48:50,381 --> 00:48:51,248 Katrine! 788 00:48:52,182 --> 00:48:53,417 Katrine! 789 00:48:53,450 --> 00:48:57,154 Oh my god, Katrine what are you doing? 790 00:48:57,187 --> 00:48:58,989 I got you a Big Gulp. 791 00:49:00,190 --> 00:49:02,527 Why are you doing this to me? 792 00:49:05,095 --> 00:49:07,097 How old is the boy who got you pregnant? 793 00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:09,534 16. 794 00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:14,204 Okay, I'll explain it to you again. 795 00:49:14,238 --> 00:49:17,941 Emotionally, socially, men are actually 10 years younger 796 00:49:17,975 --> 00:49:19,143 than their actual age. 797 00:49:19,176 --> 00:49:23,548 So by that rule, a 34 year old man would actually be 24, 798 00:49:23,581 --> 00:49:28,520 and therefore your current sex partner is how old? 799 00:49:30,522 --> 00:49:32,156 Six. 800 00:49:32,189 --> 00:49:33,056 See? 801 00:49:34,425 --> 00:49:36,661 Don't you wish we'd had this conversation sooner? 802 00:49:47,505 --> 00:49:49,306 Welcome. 803 00:49:49,339 --> 00:49:51,609 Okay, I want to start by everyone giving 804 00:49:51,643 --> 00:49:54,479 a short description, or even just a word, 805 00:49:54,512 --> 00:49:56,079 of the incident or the moment 806 00:49:56,113 --> 00:49:58,449 where you realized you needed to get help. 807 00:50:02,286 --> 00:50:06,290 I spent my wife and I's entire 401K 808 00:50:06,323 --> 00:50:10,327 in the VIP room at Mr. Dandy's, a strip club. 809 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,029 In one weekend. Mr. Dandy's? 810 00:50:13,096 --> 00:50:13,997 Who'd you see? 811 00:50:14,031 --> 00:50:15,467 Brandy, Veronica? 812 00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:17,134 Let's stay focused, please. 813 00:50:18,503 --> 00:50:23,207 Well at work, I was too busy pleasuring myself 814 00:50:23,240 --> 00:50:27,745 instead of doing my job, and people were hurt because of it. 815 00:50:27,779 --> 00:50:29,714 What's your job, Dan? 816 00:50:29,747 --> 00:50:30,981 Was my job. 817 00:50:31,649 --> 00:50:33,417 High speed train conductor. 818 00:50:35,118 --> 00:50:39,724 Four words, talk now to live girls. 819 00:50:40,390 --> 00:50:43,227 Uh, that's five words but thank you, Phil. 820 00:50:44,361 --> 00:50:47,632 Foreign objects lost in my rectum. 821 00:50:47,665 --> 00:50:49,066 Thank you, Wayne. 822 00:50:49,099 --> 00:50:50,668 Had to go to the hospital. 823 00:50:50,702 --> 00:50:51,603 Yes, we see. 824 00:50:54,472 --> 00:50:57,140 I don't think I really belong here. 825 00:50:57,174 --> 00:50:59,677 Obviously, you're alone in that opinion. 826 00:50:59,711 --> 00:51:02,212 I've had sex with, like, two guys. 827 00:51:02,246 --> 00:51:06,416 It's not how you have sex, it's how sex has you. 828 00:51:07,652 --> 00:51:09,086 Everyone here needs to be honest 829 00:51:09,119 --> 00:51:11,221 with themselves and with each other. 830 00:51:13,525 --> 00:51:16,794 Okay, I slept with a jerk from my school 831 00:51:16,828 --> 00:51:19,497 because I was bored. 832 00:51:19,531 --> 00:51:21,666 I got high and I guess I thought he was funny. 833 00:51:23,768 --> 00:51:25,102 Better, thank you. 834 00:51:28,506 --> 00:51:30,240 Neighbor's Saint Bernard. 835 00:51:49,293 --> 00:51:51,428 Janet, what are you doing? 836 00:51:57,802 --> 00:51:58,770 Watching TV, Dad. 837 00:52:27,164 --> 00:52:29,299 We can't do this, they're gonna kick us out. 838 00:52:29,333 --> 00:52:32,135 No, it's okay, I have my cloaking device on. 839 00:52:32,169 --> 00:52:33,504 As long as you're within six feet of me, 840 00:52:33,538 --> 00:52:34,639 no one can see us. 841 00:52:36,206 --> 00:52:37,842 I'm sorry, this is just weird. 842 00:52:37,875 --> 00:52:39,209 I don't even go to real dances. 843 00:52:39,242 --> 00:52:41,378 That's why it'll be fun. 844 00:52:43,347 --> 00:52:45,617 Miss, can I help you? 845 00:52:45,650 --> 00:52:48,251 Nope, no, just leaving. 846 00:52:55,860 --> 00:52:57,194 You're nuts. 847 00:52:57,227 --> 00:52:59,196 Just keep dancing, nobody'll notice. 848 00:53:03,635 --> 00:53:07,472 So, what do you dream about? 849 00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,675 Last night I was riding a giant spoon 850 00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:14,311 that plunged into a lake of Mrs. Freshy's cake frosting. 851 00:53:14,344 --> 00:53:16,848 No, like something you want to happen. 852 00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:19,349 World peace? 853 00:53:19,383 --> 00:53:20,852 Something attainable. 854 00:53:20,885 --> 00:53:21,853 An end forever to the scourge 855 00:53:21,886 --> 00:53:23,488 of the backwards baseball cap. 856 00:53:27,357 --> 00:53:28,493 How about in guys? 857 00:53:29,994 --> 00:53:31,629 What do you like, tall, short? 858 00:53:32,497 --> 00:53:34,264 Brown, yellow, green? 859 00:53:34,297 --> 00:53:35,733 Someone who doesn't annoy me. 860 00:53:38,368 --> 00:53:41,338 They can't use the word gay to describe something they hate. 861 00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,409 Someone who's not afraid to hold my hand in public 862 00:53:45,442 --> 00:53:46,911 even though I have fat fingers, 863 00:53:50,548 --> 00:53:52,382 who looks me in the eyes when I talk 864 00:53:54,652 --> 00:53:55,687 and smiles when I'm telling a story, 865 00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:57,922 even though I haven't got to the funny part yet. 866 00:53:59,256 --> 00:54:00,357 Dumb stuff like that. 867 00:54:05,328 --> 00:54:08,633 And what do you dream about? 868 00:54:09,767 --> 00:54:10,601 You. 869 00:54:18,710 --> 00:54:21,612 Maybe next time we can do this with my suit off. 870 00:54:21,646 --> 00:54:23,548 I wouldn't want to get you sick. 871 00:54:24,549 --> 00:54:26,416 I think you're worth the risk. 872 00:54:28,986 --> 00:54:31,622 I don't have your phone number. 873 00:54:31,656 --> 00:54:33,991 Why would you assume that I have a cellular phone? 874 00:54:35,526 --> 00:54:36,928 I mean, 875 00:54:36,961 --> 00:54:40,430 I'm kind of sad I wasn't born in the time before TVs. 876 00:54:40,465 --> 00:54:41,766 People had to use their imaginations, 877 00:54:41,799 --> 00:54:44,569 cook, talk to each other, leave the house. 878 00:54:44,602 --> 00:54:45,636 Just thought I'd ask. 879 00:54:45,670 --> 00:54:46,604 Cell phones are bad for humanity. 880 00:54:46,637 --> 00:54:47,905 I get it. 881 00:54:47,939 --> 00:54:49,874 I know where you live, though. 882 00:54:49,907 --> 00:54:50,775 Okay. 883 00:54:51,876 --> 00:54:54,045 I guess it's more fun this way. 884 00:54:54,078 --> 00:54:54,946 Sorta. 885 00:55:12,864 --> 00:55:13,931 Katrine, it's Phil. 886 00:55:13,965 --> 00:55:15,398 Are you awake? 887 00:55:16,567 --> 00:55:17,969 And Mike. 888 00:55:19,070 --> 00:55:21,338 We just want to hang out and talk. 889 00:55:21,371 --> 00:55:22,740 Are you asleep? 890 00:55:22,774 --> 00:55:24,876 We're not gonna touch you. 891 00:55:24,909 --> 00:55:26,644 Unless you really want us to. 892 00:55:26,677 --> 00:55:29,480 Yeah, if you want us to, that's cool. 893 00:55:29,514 --> 00:55:30,848 I mean, that'd be totally awesome. 894 00:55:30,882 --> 00:55:33,084 You don't have to make that decision right now. 895 00:55:33,117 --> 00:55:35,820 Yeah, yeah, just let us come inside. 896 00:55:52,970 --> 00:55:55,072 Where's the visiting place? 897 00:55:55,106 --> 00:55:56,707 I can't have visitors. 898 00:55:56,741 --> 00:55:57,809 What? 899 00:55:57,842 --> 00:56:00,077 I spent five hours on the bus. 900 00:56:00,111 --> 00:56:02,445 I know, I know, we're in lockdown. 901 00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:03,581 I'm not supposed to have my phone, either. 902 00:56:03,614 --> 00:56:04,749 They catch me and... What? 903 00:56:04,782 --> 00:56:05,883 Why? 904 00:56:05,917 --> 00:56:06,884 One of the guys got caught 905 00:56:06,918 --> 00:56:08,119 with a Victoria's Secret catalog 906 00:56:08,152 --> 00:56:11,122 and they have this zero tolerance porn policy. 907 00:56:11,155 --> 00:56:13,925 So I'm just supposed to go home? 908 00:56:13,958 --> 00:56:16,359 I see you, come to the window on the right. 909 00:56:18,729 --> 00:56:19,964 Come out. 910 00:56:19,997 --> 00:56:21,866 I can't hear you. 911 00:56:21,899 --> 00:56:22,934 Come out. 912 00:56:22,967 --> 00:56:27,437 We're in lockdown, and they're tracking my phone. 913 00:56:42,553 --> 00:56:43,888 I've been busy. 914 00:56:52,563 --> 00:56:55,466 I'm on Femtrexl, it makes it hard to think. 915 00:56:57,969 --> 00:57:00,671 I met a guy, at least I think I did. 916 00:57:07,578 --> 00:57:08,445 His name's Rian. 917 00:57:09,847 --> 00:57:11,048 He's from the future. 918 00:57:16,153 --> 00:57:17,889 I don't even know if he's real. 919 00:57:28,799 --> 00:57:29,634 Maybe. 920 00:57:32,003 --> 00:57:33,671 Are you? 921 00:57:33,704 --> 00:57:35,873 Katrine Neumann, we know you're down here. 922 00:57:35,907 --> 00:57:36,741 You have to get me out of here, 923 00:57:36,774 --> 00:57:39,710 it's like prison but with worse people. 924 00:57:39,744 --> 00:57:40,611 How? 925 00:57:41,379 --> 00:57:43,014 Why aren't you helping me? Oh my god. 926 00:57:43,047 --> 00:57:46,083 You were supposed to be my friend, Janet. 927 00:57:46,117 --> 00:57:47,785 Fuck off me! 928 00:57:47,818 --> 00:57:48,953 Kat! 929 00:57:53,090 --> 00:57:53,958 Shit! 930 00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:04,602 Hey, it's Kat. 931 00:58:04,635 --> 00:58:05,536 Leave a message. 932 00:58:18,149 --> 00:58:20,084 If you're calling me, you're probably someone 933 00:58:20,117 --> 00:58:22,486 who abandoned me and let me down when I needed you. 934 00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,722 Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. 935 00:58:24,755 --> 00:58:25,856 You know who you are. 936 00:58:25,890 --> 00:58:28,693 Don't leave a message because I won't call you back. 937 01:00:03,988 --> 01:00:05,222 Sorry to scare you. 938 01:00:05,256 --> 01:00:06,357 I thought it'd be romantic to just come through the window. 939 01:00:06,390 --> 01:00:09,894 Yeah, kidnappers and rapists, every girl's favorite. 940 01:00:09,927 --> 01:00:11,262 Can you help me? 941 01:00:11,295 --> 01:00:12,163 Sure. 942 01:00:17,935 --> 01:00:19,603 I missed you, Janet. 943 01:00:19,637 --> 01:00:20,838 I missed you, too. 944 01:00:20,871 --> 01:00:23,240 I think about you all the time. 945 01:00:23,274 --> 01:00:25,076 It's like I'm obsessed with you. 946 01:00:25,109 --> 01:00:26,777 Thanks, I guess. 947 01:00:27,978 --> 01:00:28,846 Me, too. 948 01:00:39,990 --> 01:00:41,025 Are you alone? 949 01:00:41,058 --> 01:00:43,794 My dad's downstairs listening to books on tape. 950 01:00:43,828 --> 01:00:44,862 He can't hear us. 951 01:00:51,836 --> 01:00:52,970 I've never done this before. 952 01:00:54,205 --> 01:00:56,173 It's okay, if you don't want. 953 01:01:10,354 --> 01:01:12,289 I don't know anything about you. 954 01:01:12,323 --> 01:01:13,891 What else do you need to know? 955 01:01:15,059 --> 01:01:16,427 Are you real? 956 01:01:16,461 --> 01:01:18,028 Reality is anything the majority 957 01:01:18,062 --> 01:01:19,363 of people agree to be true. 958 01:01:20,731 --> 01:01:22,333 Why do you say that? 959 01:01:22,366 --> 01:01:23,801 I only see you when I take my meds. 960 01:01:23,834 --> 01:01:25,102 You take your meds a lot. 961 01:01:27,805 --> 01:01:28,873 Do you think I'm real? 962 01:01:31,175 --> 01:01:33,177 Well, so do I. 963 01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:35,980 And we're the majority. 964 01:01:37,448 --> 01:01:38,716 Good enough for me. 965 01:01:43,821 --> 01:01:47,658 Do you wanna take off the, you must be hot. 966 01:01:49,059 --> 01:01:50,394 Sure, yeah. 967 01:01:50,427 --> 01:01:51,295 So far, so good. 968 01:02:17,955 --> 01:02:20,124 This is unexpected, but. 969 01:02:39,477 --> 01:02:40,744 Are you okay? 970 01:02:43,113 --> 01:02:43,981 I'm sorry. 971 01:02:45,883 --> 01:02:46,750 It's fine. 972 01:02:49,887 --> 01:02:51,088 I can't. 973 01:02:51,121 --> 01:02:51,989 I'm sorry. 974 01:02:53,090 --> 01:02:54,391 What can I do? 975 01:02:54,425 --> 01:02:55,993 An hour in de-con. 976 01:03:00,431 --> 01:03:02,766 Is there somewhere we can go where you'll be okay? 977 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,034 I'm sorry. 978 01:03:04,068 --> 01:03:04,935 Rian. 979 01:03:06,303 --> 01:03:08,138 I'll come back for you. 980 01:03:08,172 --> 01:03:10,374 We'll go away, you and I, 981 01:03:11,842 --> 01:03:12,910 where we can be safe. 982 01:03:17,848 --> 01:03:18,516 When? 983 01:03:19,917 --> 01:03:20,784 Soon. 984 01:03:43,874 --> 01:03:47,144 Are these friends of yours, Kat? 985 01:03:47,177 --> 01:03:48,012 Okay. 986 01:03:48,045 --> 01:03:50,981 Have a wonderful rest of your evening. 987 01:03:56,353 --> 01:03:59,823 Useful phrases while visiting France. 988 01:04:00,725 --> 01:04:04,928 Nice to meet you, but can't we just shake hands? 989 01:04:13,437 --> 01:04:16,541 Should I worry about that smell? 990 01:04:22,647 --> 01:04:25,082 My colossal American ass 991 01:04:25,115 --> 01:04:29,019 will not fit in your tiny European car. 992 01:05:15,633 --> 01:05:17,234 Mom? 993 01:05:17,267 --> 01:05:19,203 What the hell? 994 01:05:19,236 --> 01:05:21,205 Vlad. 995 01:05:21,238 --> 01:05:22,106 He's gone! 996 01:05:23,508 --> 01:05:24,174 Oh, is that all? 997 01:05:24,208 --> 01:05:26,276 Jesus, I thought you were dying. 998 01:05:26,310 --> 01:05:28,513 Everything is gone. 999 01:05:28,546 --> 01:05:30,214 Everything is gone. 1000 01:05:34,318 --> 01:05:35,185 Get up. 1001 01:05:37,121 --> 01:05:38,355 Come on, get up. 1002 01:05:38,389 --> 01:05:39,256 I can't. 1003 01:05:40,725 --> 01:05:41,593 I can't. 1004 01:05:43,293 --> 01:05:44,562 Come on. 1005 01:05:48,533 --> 01:05:50,100 No, we're done with this now. 1006 01:06:03,414 --> 01:06:06,283 So tell me again, the savings? 1007 01:06:07,251 --> 01:06:08,118 Empty. 1008 01:06:09,153 --> 01:06:10,020 Checking? 1009 01:06:11,088 --> 01:06:13,290 $200. 1010 01:06:13,323 --> 01:06:14,659 Real generous. 1011 01:06:15,627 --> 01:06:17,261 My college fund? 1012 01:06:17,294 --> 01:06:18,162 Gone. 1013 01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:20,498 Poof. 1014 01:06:20,532 --> 01:06:24,334 Credit cards maxed out with cash advances. 1015 01:06:24,368 --> 01:06:25,969 Okay Mom, we have to find him. 1016 01:06:26,003 --> 01:06:27,037 Where did he go? 1017 01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:29,239 Probably back to Slovakia. 1018 01:06:30,775 --> 01:06:32,342 He could be down the street. 1019 01:06:33,478 --> 01:06:36,481 Vlad was a very mysterious man. 1020 01:06:37,347 --> 01:06:40,250 What did he actually do for a living? 1021 01:06:40,919 --> 01:06:44,354 Import export and online financial services. 1022 01:06:45,490 --> 01:06:47,191 What does that even mean? 1023 01:06:47,224 --> 01:06:49,359 Christ, I don't know. 1024 01:06:49,393 --> 01:06:53,765 You, as a recovering sex addict should know that sometimes 1025 01:06:53,798 --> 01:06:59,002 love and desire takes you to very dangerous places. 1026 01:07:01,238 --> 01:07:05,309 I went there with your father and I went there with Vlad, 1027 01:07:05,342 --> 01:07:08,245 and now this is my punishment. 1028 01:07:16,253 --> 01:07:19,056 Katrine, I know you think I've failed you as a mother, 1029 01:07:19,990 --> 01:07:23,293 but I would appreciate if you could at least try 1030 01:07:23,327 --> 01:07:26,263 to be a little bit supportive in my time of crisis. 1031 01:07:26,296 --> 01:07:28,999 Okay, okay, Mom, don't bug out. 1032 01:07:29,701 --> 01:07:31,268 Someday you'll understand. 1033 01:07:32,436 --> 01:07:33,805 Dating when you're middle-aged 1034 01:07:33,838 --> 01:07:35,773 is like shopping at a used car lot. 1035 01:07:36,574 --> 01:07:38,776 Choose the best you can but just remember 1036 01:07:38,810 --> 01:07:41,479 that there's something wrong with all of them. 1037 01:07:44,248 --> 01:07:46,049 Come on, give me a hug. 1038 01:07:46,751 --> 01:07:49,152 Don't you think I deserve at least that much? 1039 01:08:48,913 --> 01:08:49,781 Rian, 1040 01:08:50,748 --> 01:08:52,082 where are you? 1041 01:09:12,937 --> 01:09:13,805 Rian? 1042 01:09:42,967 --> 01:09:44,636 Sweetheart? 1043 01:09:46,504 --> 01:09:47,437 Sweetheart? 1044 01:09:48,973 --> 01:09:50,875 Are you sick, pumpkin? 1045 01:09:50,908 --> 01:09:53,310 What's happening? 1046 01:09:53,343 --> 01:09:55,780 Been trying to wake you all morning. 1047 01:09:55,813 --> 01:09:58,348 Did you stay up late on the computer last night? 1048 01:10:01,753 --> 01:10:04,354 I have a letter from the University. 1049 01:10:14,866 --> 01:10:15,733 I got in. 1050 01:10:16,601 --> 01:10:19,704 Well look at that, miss smarty pants. 1051 01:10:22,473 --> 01:10:24,609 Now we just have to figure out how to pay for it. 1052 01:10:30,447 --> 01:10:34,184 Well, I'll leave you alone so you can call your friends. 1053 01:10:49,801 --> 01:10:51,002 We're sorry, 1054 01:10:51,035 --> 01:10:53,270 the number you have dialed is not in service at this time. 1055 01:10:53,303 --> 01:10:54,371 Goddammit. 1056 01:11:18,896 --> 01:11:23,901 ♪ Sunlight say grace to the cold stone I'm waiting ♪ 1057 01:11:27,972 --> 01:11:32,977 ♪ For that firelight god to lift his darkened eyes ♪ 1058 01:11:34,812 --> 01:11:35,680 Rian? 1059 01:11:36,848 --> 01:11:37,715 Rian! 1060 01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:43,020 ♪ And don't fear the skies they know no need for reason ♪ 1061 01:11:43,054 --> 01:11:44,287 Rian. 1062 01:11:44,321 --> 01:11:44,989 Rian, wait! 1063 01:11:47,725 --> 01:11:52,730 ♪ The stars can't keep that shiny dancing charade ♪ 1064 01:11:53,931 --> 01:11:54,799 Goodbye. 1065 01:11:58,002 --> 01:12:02,339 ♪ But oh, to feel your eyes on me ♪ 1066 01:12:07,111 --> 01:12:07,979 I love you. 1067 01:12:08,012 --> 01:12:12,315 ♪ To want nothing, and everything ♪ 1068 01:12:32,036 --> 01:12:33,070 Hey, miss. 1069 01:12:36,140 --> 01:12:38,509 Stop. 1070 01:12:38,543 --> 01:12:41,612 Miss! 1071 01:12:41,646 --> 01:12:42,513 Please. 1072 01:12:44,882 --> 01:12:48,486 ♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪ 1073 01:12:48,519 --> 01:12:50,521 ♪ Hm ♪ 1074 01:12:50,555 --> 01:12:53,958 ♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪ 1075 01:12:53,991 --> 01:12:54,826 ♪ Hm ♪ 1076 01:12:54,859 --> 01:12:57,895 ♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪ 1077 01:12:57,929 --> 01:12:58,796 ♪ Hm ♪ 1078 01:12:58,830 --> 01:13:02,133 ♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪ 1079 01:13:02,166 --> 01:13:03,000 ♪ Hm ♪ 1080 01:13:03,034 --> 01:13:06,436 ♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪ 1081 01:13:06,470 --> 01:13:09,073 ♪ Hm ♪ 1082 01:13:50,548 --> 01:13:51,816 Hey. 1083 01:13:51,849 --> 01:13:52,850 Hey. 1084 01:13:58,856 --> 01:14:00,791 I got into Northmore. 1085 01:14:01,759 --> 01:14:02,793 That's great. 1086 01:14:04,562 --> 01:14:05,463 Did you hear? 1087 01:14:06,464 --> 01:14:08,165 Yeah, Farnham turned me down. 1088 01:14:09,233 --> 01:14:10,201 I can't afford to go anyway, 1089 01:14:10,234 --> 01:14:15,473 so I'm just gonna work and reapply next year. 1090 01:14:20,978 --> 01:14:24,015 Pretty embarrassing, huh? 1091 01:14:24,048 --> 01:14:26,050 I should've just changed in the car. 1092 01:14:28,653 --> 01:14:31,055 I'm sorry I didn't write while you were away. 1093 01:14:31,923 --> 01:14:34,592 I thought you had lots of other cooler friends. 1094 01:14:35,793 --> 01:14:37,427 Friends, yeah, no. 1095 01:14:41,032 --> 01:14:41,899 Sorry. 1096 01:14:44,669 --> 01:14:47,772 I probably wasn't exactly the best friend to you, either. 1097 01:14:50,241 --> 01:14:51,108 We're lame. 1098 01:14:52,510 --> 01:14:54,812 Yeah, yeah we are. 1099 01:15:01,118 --> 01:15:02,119 Rian was real. 1100 01:15:05,056 --> 01:15:09,026 I thought I was losing it, but he was real. 1101 01:15:11,295 --> 01:15:12,196 He's gone, though. 1102 01:15:14,031 --> 01:15:18,469 Yay and boo, I guess. 1103 01:15:21,072 --> 01:15:23,574 I guess I should go. 1104 01:15:27,178 --> 01:15:28,212 Bye, feel better. 1105 01:15:54,572 --> 01:15:55,706 Are you insane? 1106 01:15:57,041 --> 01:15:58,242 Come out, whore. 1107 01:15:58,275 --> 01:16:01,846 ♪ I'm just a-sittin' with the bad kitty ♪ 1108 01:16:01,879 --> 01:16:04,015 ♪ Just while it's in the mood ♪ 1109 01:16:04,048 --> 01:16:05,683 This is weird. 1110 01:16:05,716 --> 01:16:07,718 Think of it as prom that smells funny. 1111 01:16:08,619 --> 01:16:09,687 I look ridiculous. 1112 01:16:10,354 --> 01:16:12,256 Cataracts will help with that, I think. 1113 01:16:12,289 --> 01:16:15,259 There's so many old people here, the average age is dead. 1114 01:16:16,660 --> 01:16:17,528 Ladies. 1115 01:16:26,103 --> 01:16:27,772 Suck it, bitch. 1116 01:16:28,939 --> 01:16:31,042 ♪ And I wanna kiss you too ♪ 1117 01:16:31,075 --> 01:16:32,977 So it's your birthday, huh? 1118 01:16:33,010 --> 01:16:34,678 Yes, ma'am. 1119 01:16:34,712 --> 01:16:37,915 I am 92 years old. 1120 01:16:37,948 --> 01:16:39,316 92? 1121 01:16:39,350 --> 01:16:40,684 You rock, dude. 1122 01:16:40,718 --> 01:16:41,786 Happy birthday. 1123 01:16:43,621 --> 01:16:46,023 So I hear there's a lot of action going on in these places, 1124 01:16:46,057 --> 01:16:48,059 everyone being single and all. 1125 01:16:48,092 --> 01:16:50,194 You're not gonna give me an STD, are you? 1126 01:16:50,227 --> 01:16:51,295 Oh, I'm 92. 1127 01:16:53,197 --> 01:16:55,232 Leave room for Jesus there, hot pants. 1128 01:16:55,266 --> 01:16:56,734 Uh, jealous much?