1
00:00:20,189 --> 00:00:22,290
- Nice.
- Hmm.

2
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,623
- Whoa.
- Nice dragon.

3
00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:27,126
Who is ready to party?

4
00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:29,160
- Yeah!
- Hey!

5
00:00:29,194 --> 00:00:31,628
Who's ready to throw down a jam?

6
00:00:34,831 --> 00:00:36,932
Come on, guys.
Really?

7
00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:38,833
You know, I gotta say, people,
you really phoned it in.

8
00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:40,968
Osric is the only guy
who's in costume.

9
00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:42,236
I'm not in a costume.

10
00:00:42,269 --> 00:00:44,703
You're wearing a dress and a
fruit hat.

11
00:00:44,736 --> 00:00:46,839
You're so old.

12
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:49,407
The point is guys, it's All
Hallow's Eve.

13
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,009
We need tricks, we need treats,
we need ghosts and goblins.

14
00:00:53,043 --> 00:00:54,243
I got spirits.

15
00:00:54,276 --> 00:00:55,743
And that's why I love you.

16
00:00:55,777 --> 00:00:56,945
I need an aspirin.

17
00:00:56,978 --> 00:00:59,280
Yeah, Robbie and I have nipping
at the sauce since seven.

18
00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:01,281
- Gracias.
- Like two hours ago.

19
00:01:01,315 --> 00:01:02,682
AM, Junior.

20
00:01:02,715 --> 00:01:05,050
Have you been to this amazing
brasserie at the end of the
street?

21
00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:07,852
They serve the most spectacular
peach mimosas.

22
00:01:07,885 --> 00:01:09,120
They're aphrodisiac, you know?

23
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,687
Everything's an aphrodisiac
to you, Serge.

24
00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:13,856
No, no, it's true, it's true.
Ask him.

25
00:01:13,889 --> 00:01:16,090
- This is an ex-boyfriend?
- No, no, this is Timothy,

26
00:01:16,124 --> 00:01:17,425
He's an aphrodisiasticist.

27
00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,426
You people are killing me.

28
00:01:19,459 --> 00:01:23,195
It's the annual
Hallow-freaking-ween
karaoke party,

29
00:01:23,229 --> 00:01:26,431
yet nobody thought
it'd be a good idea to dress up?

30
00:01:26,464 --> 00:01:29,399
Nice. Well, you know what?
Rest easy.

31
00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:33,869
Because Daddy, once again,
has everything under control.

32
00:01:33,902 --> 00:01:37,104
That's right, a professional
makeup artist
is on the way as we speak.

33
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,138
Oh, she sounds hot.

34
00:01:38,171 --> 00:01:39,705
I didn't say she was a she.

35
00:01:39,738 --> 00:01:41,073
You just did.

36
00:01:41,106 --> 00:01:43,242
Did you know makeup artists
have the best bottoms?

37
00:01:43,275 --> 00:01:45,443
It's true.
You know, ask him.

38
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:48,145
- Timothy?
- No, no, no, that's Leon.

39
00:01:48,178 --> 00:01:50,112
He looked a lot like Timothy.

40
00:01:50,146 --> 00:01:52,947
No, no, no, Leon is the premiere
makeup artist for bottom models.

41
00:01:52,981 --> 00:01:56,716
- Huh.
- Uh, Osric,

42
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,751
why are you going through
to Justin and Jaden's fan gifts?

43
00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:00,286
All that's for them?

44
00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:02,853
Why do they always
have all the gifts and I have
nothing?

45
00:02:02,887 --> 00:02:04,821
Justin and Jaden
are the stars of the show

46
00:02:04,854 --> 00:02:06,956
and your character died
like four seasons ago.

47
00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:09,024
- Too soon?
- I hate to say this,

48
00:02:09,057 --> 00:02:11,692
but Rich is right.

49
00:02:11,726 --> 00:02:13,161
It's Halloween karaoke.

50
00:02:13,194 --> 00:02:15,028
All the fans are gonna be
dressed up, you know.

51
00:02:15,061 --> 00:02:17,397
Maybe there's something in here
that we can throw on as
costumes.

52
00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:19,198
- Oh.
- Or not...

53
00:02:19,231 --> 00:02:21,732
Oh, nice stitching.
I'll take them.

54
00:02:21,765 --> 00:02:24,101
- Dibs.
- Ta-da!

55
00:02:24,134 --> 00:02:25,335
- Uh huh.
- Oh.

56
00:02:25,369 --> 00:02:27,069
Wow, that's snug!

57
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:29,471
Uh, you're darn tootin' it's
snug.
It's my actual costume.

58
00:02:29,504 --> 00:02:31,238
Sue, I have eyes.

59
00:02:31,272 --> 00:02:35,208
This is my actual costume
from "Camp Headache,"

60
00:02:35,241 --> 00:02:37,776
a movie I did when I was 14
with Jim J. Bullock.

61
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,810
Jim J. Bullock, gosh!

62
00:02:39,844 --> 00:02:40,810
I was 14 and making a movie.

63
00:02:40,845 --> 00:02:43,146
What were you jerks doing
when you were 14?

64
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,813
I started a non-profit
that worked with restaurants

65
00:02:44,847 --> 00:02:46,781
to have leftover food
delivered to the homeless.

66
00:02:46,814 --> 00:02:48,750
That was the summer
when I had that affair

67
00:02:48,783 --> 00:02:51,351
with the Nestlé heiress
on the Amalfi coast.

68
00:02:51,385 --> 00:02:54,020
- It was the first..
- Time you had sex?

69
00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:56,788
With an octogenarian, yes.

70
00:02:56,821 --> 00:02:58,056
Speaking of "Camp Headache"...

71
00:02:58,089 --> 00:03:01,292
Are you all right? I've got some
pain reliever in my Ferragamo.

72
00:03:01,325 --> 00:03:02,759
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah. Over there.

73
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:04,860
Oh, great. Thanks.

74
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:08,795
No, no, no, not the Ann
Demeulemeester, the Ferragamo.

75
00:03:08,828 --> 00:03:12,432
No, no,
not the Costume National, no,
no.

76
00:03:12,465 --> 00:03:15,066
No, that's the Van Cleef &
Arpels.
It's-- yes, that one there.

77
00:03:15,099 --> 00:03:17,901
The zipper pocket in the front.
The red pills.

78
00:03:18,802 --> 00:03:19,937
- Cool.
- Hey, um,

79
00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,137
bring me a couple
of those bad boys.

80
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:22,171
Oh.

81
00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:25,273
- You have a headache too?
- Nope.

82
00:03:25,307 --> 00:03:27,841
I'm attacking the headache I
know I will get when I drink too
much

83
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,075
which is my game plan.

84
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:30,143
- Smart.
- Thank you.

85
00:03:32,144 --> 00:03:33,178
I'm looking for Rich.

86
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,012
What?

87
00:03:35,046 --> 00:03:37,148
- Hi!
- Rebecca!

88
00:03:38,248 --> 00:03:41,050
Everybody, this is Rebecca!

89
00:03:41,083 --> 00:03:42,917
Hello, Rebecca.

90
00:03:42,951 --> 00:03:46,887
She and I did an indie film
many, many, moons ago in Denver.

91
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,255
Anybody see "Danger Fish?"

92
00:03:50,489 --> 00:03:54,925
- It wasn't very...
- Great film, important film.

93
00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:58,394
Which one of you lame-os
is ready to get your zombie on?

94
00:03:58,428 --> 00:04:00,395
- Where should we set up?
- You know what?

95
00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:02,164
Let's do in-- We're gonna go
to Justin and Jaden's room

96
00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:03,998
cause they're not here
till Sunday, okay.

97
00:04:04,031 --> 00:04:07,733
All right, everybody.
Prepare to get zombiefied!

98
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,769
Best bottoms.
Told you.

99
00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:15,239
( opening credits music )

100
00:04:19,975 --> 00:04:22,810
♪ Looking for a sign

101
00:04:22,843 --> 00:04:25,545
♪ Looking for a table set for
fun ♪

102
00:04:25,578 --> 00:04:28,981
♪ Set the alarm to exactly
half past none ♪

103
00:04:31,249 --> 00:04:35,318
♪ Just tell me
where to sign for you ♪

104
00:04:37,519 --> 00:04:39,187
- Yeah.
- Thanks for doing this.

105
00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:41,188
- Mm-hmm.
- It's awesome.

106
00:04:41,456 --> 00:04:43,323
You look great by the way.

107
00:04:43,357 --> 00:04:45,057
Thanks.

108
00:04:45,091 --> 00:04:47,493
May I say,
the nose ring suits you.

109
00:04:47,526 --> 00:04:50,094
Well, it fucking pierced
my cartilage so it'd better.

110
00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:51,995
You know, I bet that's something
our Founding Fathers

111
00:04:52,028 --> 00:04:53,396
never thought they'd hear.

112
00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:56,465
"She's a woman of sound morals,

113
00:04:56,498 --> 00:05:01,034
with healthy birthing hips
and nasal piercings which are
quite fetching."

114
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,303
- You have not changed a bit.
- Hmm.

115
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,405
You really think they're
healthy?

116
00:05:06,438 --> 00:05:08,373
- What?
- My birthing hips?

117
00:05:12,441 --> 00:05:13,442
Oh, boysie.

118
00:05:19,146 --> 00:05:22,081
Rob. I'm clocking out for
the night. Do you need anything
else?

119
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:27,351
No, I guess not. Here, can you
take my clothes to my room?

120
00:05:27,385 --> 00:05:30,120
- Room key. Clothes.
- Yeah.

121
00:05:31,388 --> 00:05:33,422
Bye.

122
00:05:33,455 --> 00:05:35,156
Oh, Christ.

123
00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:38,924
Oh.

124
00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:41,826
Rob, your bottom looks great,
man.

125
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,228
Where have you been hiding that?

126
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:46,030
Something wrong with these
pants.

127
00:05:46,063 --> 00:05:47,064
They're way too tight.

128
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,532
Nonsense, they look great.

129
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,333
Aah!
The zipper zips the wrong way.

130
00:05:51,366 --> 00:05:54,869
Women's pants zip
the opposite way.

131
00:05:54,902 --> 00:05:57,570
Oh, shit.
These are Marney's pants.

132
00:05:57,604 --> 00:05:59,104
I grabbed my ex-wife's pants.

133
00:05:59,138 --> 00:06:00,372
Where's Beth?

134
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:03,374
She took your clothes
upstairs... like you asked her
to.

135
00:06:03,408 --> 00:06:04,841
Does anybody have spare pants?

136
00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:06,209
Go pantless.

137
00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:07,411
I can't go pantsless.

138
00:06:09,011 --> 00:06:12,113
( groaning )

139
00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:13,515
It's crazy.

140
00:06:19,484 --> 00:06:20,851
Oh, dear.

141
00:06:20,885 --> 00:06:24,287
Okay, so I think we'll do just
a little more necrotic flesh
here...

142
00:06:24,321 --> 00:06:27,557
- Sounds good.
- Little bit more adhesive.

143
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:32,293
Is that?

144
00:06:32,327 --> 00:06:33,927
- I--
- Do you...

145
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,227
I-- I don't--
I didn't--

146
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,530
You've got a boner?

147
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,064
- Uh, Serge?
- Yeah?

148
00:06:39,097 --> 00:06:41,131
What were in those
pills that you gave us?

149
00:06:41,165 --> 00:06:42,333
Ibuprofen.

150
00:06:42,366 --> 00:06:43,634
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

151
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:45,568
Let me see.

152
00:06:45,601 --> 00:06:48,236
Oh, merde, you took the
wrong ones. I said to take the
red ones.

153
00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:50,904
- I took the red ones.
- No, no, you took the burgundy
ones.

154
00:06:50,937 --> 00:06:52,505
- That's the same thing.
- No, it's not the same.

155
00:06:52,539 --> 00:06:55,240
The red ones are painkillers,
the burgundy ones are Stay-Bone.

156
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:57,509
Hello!
"Stay-Bone"?

157
00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:01,044
Serge, you need erectile
assistance?

158
00:07:01,078 --> 00:07:02,412
Well, I don't know.

159
00:07:04,146 --> 00:07:05,481
Ask him.

160
00:07:05,514 --> 00:07:08,516
- Let me guess, your urologist?
- No, William and I, we're
lovers.

161
00:07:12,652 --> 00:07:13,653
Hello, William.

162
00:07:13,686 --> 00:07:15,287
You need to leave.

163
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,121
- Rich?
- What?

164
00:07:16,154 --> 00:07:17,555
- We didn't take ibuprofen.
- What?

165
00:07:17,589 --> 00:07:19,190
- We took Stay-Bone!
- Ah!

166
00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:22,191
You guys popped hard-on pills
before a karaoke show?

167
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,892
Is that something you do?

168
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:25,326
- Not usually.
- It was an accident.

169
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,395
- Why didn't it affect you?
- It affected me.

170
00:07:27,428 --> 00:07:29,663
It's affecting me right now.

171
00:07:29,696 --> 00:07:31,297
Oh, come on, you can tell.

172
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:33,632
Oh, my God, it's completely
coming out of your pants.

173
00:07:33,666 --> 00:07:35,467
- Who, me?
- No, you're good.

174
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,101
I can't help it.

175
00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:38,502
- You sickos...
- Oh, my God.

176
00:07:38,535 --> 00:07:39,603
- Get out of here.
- Okay.

177
00:07:39,636 --> 00:07:42,137
Okay, but the door is--
We're just gonna go right...

178
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,639
- Ah, okay, Rich, this way.
- Okay.

179
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,641
- Where do we go, Rich?
- I don't know, just go!

180
00:07:51,577 --> 00:07:52,511
Now, what do we do?

181
00:07:52,544 --> 00:07:54,011
We gotta wait
for these drugs to wear off.

182
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:57,581
That can take seven to ten hours
depending
on body mass and alcohol intake.

183
00:07:57,614 --> 00:08:00,383
- Or so I've read.
- Ah.

184
00:08:00,416 --> 00:08:01,684
Woman:
Hey!

185
00:08:01,717 --> 00:08:03,385
It's Rob and Zombie Rich!

186
00:08:03,418 --> 00:08:05,586
- Shit.
- Hey, hey, guys, can we get a
selfie?

187
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,053
Run!

188
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:11,989
Wait, wait!

189
00:08:12,022 --> 00:08:15,426
It's for my grandma.
She's a nun.

190
00:08:19,695 --> 00:08:21,963
- Fuck.
- Oh, Fuck. Fuck!

191
00:08:23,464 --> 00:08:25,499
- What are we gonna do now?
- Well, we slip in through the
back door.

192
00:08:25,532 --> 00:08:27,466
We can't go in there,
it's the eye of the storm.

193
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,300
I know it's gonna be tight
but if we penetrate quickly

194
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,502
no one's gonna see us coming.

195
00:08:30,535 --> 00:08:32,136
Are you talking
like that on purpose?

196
00:08:32,169 --> 00:08:33,704
I don't know, your schvantz
is throwing me off.

197
00:08:33,737 --> 00:08:35,271
We gotta hurry,
the cock is ticking.

198
00:08:35,304 --> 00:08:36,572
- What?
- Clock, clock!

199
00:08:36,606 --> 00:08:37,939
Woman:
There they are!

200
00:08:37,973 --> 00:08:39,107
- Ah!
- Ah! Shit!

201
00:08:45,678 --> 00:08:47,646
Hey, everybody.
It's Rich and Rob.

202
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,614
Hey, can I get a selfie?

203
00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:56,951
There you are.
Rich, nice penis.

204
00:08:56,985 --> 00:08:58,486
Rob, are you immune?

205
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,988
No, I am uncomfortably engorged
right now, thank you very much.

206
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,123
Hey, Serge, you gotta help us.

207
00:09:04,157 --> 00:09:07,192
There are hundreds of people
out there expecting a karaoke
party.

208
00:09:07,225 --> 00:09:09,226
- What do we do?
- Je ne sais pas, moi.

209
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:11,394
- Huh?
- You know, Rob,

210
00:09:11,428 --> 00:09:14,062
I can think of one way
to deflate that balloon.

211
00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:18,999
Ah....

212
00:09:21,501 --> 00:09:23,935
Ah ha!
( laughs )

213
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:27,237
Who's ready to karaoke?

214
00:09:27,271 --> 00:09:30,072
- This guy!
- Whoo!

215
00:09:30,106 --> 00:09:31,507
All right, all right.

216
00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:34,309
- Uh huh, uh huh.
- Whoo!

217
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,380
That is not remotely what I
meant.

218
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:45,550
Okay, boys. Let's do this.
What? What? What?

219
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:48,018
Rob did the clown-faced
crotch bit, too?

220
00:09:48,051 --> 00:09:51,587
Shit.
Back to the gift bag.

221
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,092
Dumbass.

222
00:10:01,126 --> 00:10:04,228
My people, here we go!

223
00:10:04,728 --> 00:10:06,530
Rob:
I say "hey," you say "ho."

224
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,531
- Hey!
- Audience: Ho!

225
00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:10,499
Rob:
I say "hallo," you say "ween."

226
00:10:10,532 --> 00:10:12,266
- Hallo!
- Audience: Ween!

227
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,368
Rob:
I say "Rob," you say "and Rich."

228
00:10:14,402 --> 00:10:16,336
- Rob!
- Audience: And Rich!

229
00:10:16,369 --> 00:10:18,370
Rob:
I say "clown," you say "dragon."

230
00:10:18,404 --> 00:10:20,205
- Clown!
- Audience: Dragon!

231
00:10:20,238 --> 00:10:22,240
- Rich: Yeah!
- Rob: Woo!

232
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,708
Rich:
Well done, people.

233
00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:26,209
( end credits music )