1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:02,662 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,621 You know that Mr. Rosenbloom with the furniture store 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,046 over by the steak house? 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,673 He's asked me to dinner. 5 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,250 Is he your boyfriend? 6 00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,677 Well, he's one of them, so let's not bring that up. 7 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,095 All right, so what can I do for you? 8 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,842 What's it like to be Jewish? 9 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,970 Oh, it's terrible. I don't recommend it. 10 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,177 - (phone ringing) - Yeah? 11 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,559 Connie, I would like to have dinner with you tonight. 12 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,310 This is very promising. 13 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,058 SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw 14 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,438 had their first sleepover. 15 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,646 It's a big step in their relationship. 16 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,821 I'm going to go congratulate them. 17 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,442 Hey, put on a jacket, it's chilly out. 18 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,079 ♪♪ You're just too good to be true... ♪♪ 19 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,829 I have only seen you eat vanilla ice cream for dessert. 20 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,502 - Why is that? - Well, I've taken a page 21 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,830 from the great physicist Richard Feynman. 22 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,460 In order to have 23 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,292 one less decision in his life, 24 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,630 he decided that dessert would always be chocolate ice cream. 25 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,680 Sounds like it could get kind of boring. 26 00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,882 Oh, it does. 27 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:03,140 But over the last 35 years, 28 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:07,269 I believe I've saved at least a day and a half. 29 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,726 ♪♪ Pardon the way that I stare... ♪♪ 30 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,811 (laughing) 31 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,481 Well, you have to let me cook for you sometime. 32 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,532 But I enjoy cooking for you. 33 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,030 It's a means of expressing my affection. 34 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,698 It also allows me to control the amount of garlic, 35 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,373 which gives me the burps. 36 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,334 Well, I do make a mean barbecue, 37 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:30,129 and I promise I can make it garlic-free. 38 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,706 Excellent! 39 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,464 Next time, you can express your affection for me. 40 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:37,045 (chuckles) 41 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,298 - (phone ringing) - Excuse me. 42 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,428 I bet it's Sheldon checking on us. 43 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,426 What? 44 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,352 Connie? It's Ira. 45 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,390 (chuckling nervously): Hey... Hey... 46 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,561 I'm, uh... 47 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,109 I-It's Sheldon. He... sounds a little agitated. 48 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,482 I'm gonna take it in the other room. 49 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,687 Just... 50 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,693 (partition clattering loudly) 51 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,364 (quietly): Hello again. 52 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,287 Listen, I'm wondering what you're doing this weekend. 53 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,488 I miss you. 54 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,582 Cool, cool. 55 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,041 You want to go to a movie 56 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,960 or bowl a few frames? 57 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:14,040 Uh, you know, listen, it's not a great time right now. 58 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,545 Um, I have a little family over, 59 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,548 and can I call you later? 60 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,221 Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I don't want to interrupt. 61 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,389 I just miss hearing your voice. 62 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,885 Well... here it is, 63 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,389 coming right up out of my throat. 64 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,228 Um, okay, 65 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,306 so, uh, uh, bye. 66 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,686 Bye-bye. 67 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:34,935 How's Sheldon doing? 68 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,778 - What? - Sheldon. 69 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,447 You were talking to Sheldon. 70 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,948 Oh... right, yes. (chuckles) 71 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:45,239 Did you know he has a picture of that fella Feynman 72 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,493 in his bedroom? 73 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,370 What? So do I. 74 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,666 Peas in a pod. 75 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,335 - (phone ringing) - Oh, darn. 76 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,628 Excuse me. 77 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,002 Yes? 78 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,004 How's it going? 79 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,505 It's Sheldon again. 80 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,756 What do you mean "again"? 81 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:00,882 Speak. 82 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,555 I recently read an article 83 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,382 about a superconducting supercollider 84 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:05,967 that might be built in Texas. 85 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,931 What about it? 86 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,057 Well, I thought if there was a lull 87 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,558 in your dinner conversation, 88 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,857 you might casually drop it as an icebreaker. 89 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,651 Our dinner conversation is going just fine. 90 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,444 Well, now you have it in your back pocket. 91 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:18,863 Carry on. 92 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,399 - (dial tone) - (chuckles) 93 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,075 (hangs up phone) 94 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,114 (clears throat) 95 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,448 Question... will we be engaging in coitus tonight? 96 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,956 Because I believe I pulled a hamstring 97 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,627 on the bike ride over. 98 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,337 Why didn't you say something? 99 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,132 Well, I was trying to display machismo, 100 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,630 but it's becoming more and more clear 101 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,963 that there's something askew in my groin. 102 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,388 Oh, John... 103 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,137 we don't have to do anything. 104 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,347 We can just be together. 105 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,804 Thanks. 106 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,479 But if it's all the same to you, 107 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,853 I'd like to give it the old college try. 108 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,776 (laughing) 109 00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,696 ♪♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪♪ 110 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,524 ♪♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪♪ 111 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,157 ♪♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪♪ 112 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,034 ♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪ 113 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,708 ♪♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪♪ 114 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,336 Here you go. 115 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,084 Thank you. 116 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,962 So, you're really gonna go out 117 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,339 with this furniture store fella 118 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,840 while seeing Dr. Sturgis? 119 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,172 It's called playing the field. 120 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,637 And if you'd done some of that, 121 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,969 you wouldn't be saddled with Bluto in there. 122 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,349 That's not nice. 123 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,396 And is that really necessary? 124 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,066 The Italians call it "corretto." 125 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,519 It means correcting the drink. 126 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,814 So, a drink without alcohol in it is wrong? 127 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,440 Yep. 128 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,117 - Italian people, they know what's up. - (sighs) 129 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,282 All right, one issue at a time. 130 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:53,955 So, you're really gonna date two men simultaneously? 131 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,536 - Two that you know of. - Oh, Mom. 132 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,542 Come on, don't be such a prude. 133 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,089 I'm not gonna have any babies. 134 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,916 I don't need these men to take care of me. 135 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,377 Why shouldn't I just enjoy myself? 136 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,713 Well, it isn't very Christian of you. 137 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,844 I got no argument there. 138 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,600 Salute! (chuckles) 139 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,973 (sighs) 140 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,349 Yeah, that fixed it. 141 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,355 Mmm. 142 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,603 ♪♪♪ ♪ 143 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,951 Oh, Meemaw, no. 144 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,579 Hey, who are you calling? 145 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,078 Dr. Sturgis. 146 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,248 Why? 147 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,955 I saw Meemaw get in a car 148 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,915 with Mr. Rosenbloom. 149 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,586 (distorted): No... 150 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,923 ADULT SHELDON: I don't know if it really happened this way, 151 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,804 but to my nine-year-old mind, 152 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,806 my mother was flying. 153 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,901 (country music playing) 154 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,738 So, how's the brisket? 155 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,156 It's good. 156 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,110 It ain't my brisket, but it's good. 157 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,489 I should take you to New York 158 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,867 so you could taste some authentic Jewish brisket. 159 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,243 How's it different? 160 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,744 Well, it's pretty much the same except 161 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,168 it's-it's a lot juicier and you can feel the fat 162 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,540 go directly to your heart. 163 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,712 (both laughing) 164 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,165 Oh, boy... 165 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,920 I miss that laugh. 166 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,048 So, uh... 167 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,888 what do you think of that idea? 168 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,758 - What idea? - Going to New York. 169 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,093 Maybe we'll catch a couple of Broadway shows, 170 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,554 uh, see some sights. 171 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,061 Oh, Ira, gee... 172 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,730 I don't know. (chuckles) 173 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,483 - Seems like a big step. - Is it? 174 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,109 I think at this time of our lives, 175 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,237 we should travel, see the world. 176 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,943 - I guess. - I mean, 177 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,403 we're not getting any younger. 178 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,529 What's that supposed to mean? 179 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,115 (stammers) 180 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,326 I mean, I mean, I'm not getting any younger. 181 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,785 You, on the other hand, 182 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,371 you are a blossoming tulip. 183 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:04,876 Better. 184 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,129 SHELDON: But I still don't understand. 185 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,510 Your grandmother's a single lady. 186 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,463 She's not committed to any one fella, 187 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,469 and she wants to see what her options are. 188 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,767 But Dr. Sturgis is the best option. 189 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,560 Well, you might feel that way, 190 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,979 but she's not so sure. 191 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,977 Then we need to tell her. I'll make the call. 192 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,525 No. We need to mind our business 193 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,978 and maybe pray for her to make the right decision. 194 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,773 We're gonna leave this up to God? 195 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,362 You think you could do a better job than God? 196 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,159 Maybe not with creating the universe, 197 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,532 but I bet I could free the Hebrews 198 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,158 with one good plague. 199 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,160 IRA: You can get lox, bagels, 200 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,080 all the trimmings at 3:30 in the morning. 201 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,582 (chuckles) Why would I want that? 202 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,293 Well, you wouldn't. I mean, it's too heavy. 203 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:48,465 But you could if you wanted. 204 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:49,633 (chuckles) 205 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:50,800 So, what do you think? 206 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,383 Oh, Ira, I don't think so. 207 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,214 All right, what do you say 208 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,174 to a weekend in New Orleans, huh? 209 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,017 We could do one of those Carnival Cruise things. 210 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,596 You're killing me. (laughs) 211 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,181 I can't do this, I... 212 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,853 Can't do what? 213 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,235 Ira, you're just a wonderful man. 214 00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,859 Oh, boy, I don't like where this is going. 215 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,656 But to tell you the truth, 216 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,359 I'm seeing somebody else. 217 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,909 And we've gone there. 218 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,205 I thought I could do it, uh... you know, date both of you, 219 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,749 but I-I can't, I can't, I just... 220 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,701 I'm not cut out for it. 221 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,912 Okay, suggestion. 222 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,963 And maybe you've already thought of this... 223 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,836 but what do you say you break up with him 224 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,212 and only see me? 225 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:32,926 (chuckles) 226 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,173 (sobbing) 227 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,633 I'm sorry. 228 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,851 I thought I could handle this. 229 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,178 - It's okay. - You know, 230 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,640 you get older, and you think your skin is thicker... 231 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,691 - It's okay. - ...and your heart is tougher. 232 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,402 But it's not, it's the other way around. 233 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,737 I hope this guy knows what a gift he has in you. 234 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,408 Well, "gift" is a strong word, 235 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,656 but he's enthusiastic. 236 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,908 Good. 237 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,241 May you both be very happy together! 238 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,708 I don't want to celebrate too soon, 239 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,133 but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom are back, and he was crying. 240 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,093 (indistinct chatter on TV) 241 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,097 There'll be more updates as they happen. 242 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:27,515 I'm done. 243 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,941 Can I please be excused? 244 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,896 Good Lord, did you even chew it? 245 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,569 Not the recommended amount, no. 246 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:33,692 What's your hurry? 247 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,899 I need to get back to my viewing post. 248 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,200 Fine, go ahead. 249 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,697 What's he expect to see, staring at Meemaw's house? 250 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,748 (sighs) - Did you just join this family? 251 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,245 The kid's an oddball. 252 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,372 He's just excited that Meemaw's dating 253 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,079 a man he looks up to. 254 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,585 I wish she could date Tony Danza... that'd be cool. 255 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,875 What is it with you and Tony Danza? 256 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,378 Well, the show doesn't come out and say it, 257 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,589 but I'm pretty sure he's the boss. 258 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,596 I think the blonde lady's the boss. 259 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:03,597 Angela? 260 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,394 Who's the oddball now? 261 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,807 I'm warning you, 262 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,809 once you try my barbecue, 263 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,021 it will ruin you to all the others. 264 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,906 That's what happened to me with quilted toilet paper. 265 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,030 Once I tried the good stuff, 266 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,453 everything else felt like a Brillo pad. 267 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,115 You paint quite the picture, don't you? 268 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,665 (doorbell ringing) 269 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,326 Oh, gosh. 270 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,501 Excuse me. 271 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,418 Sheldon, this is not cute anymore. 272 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,877 - Connie Tucker? - Yes? 273 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,428 I have a dinette set from Rosenbloom's Furniture. 274 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,425 Oh. 275 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,965 I didn't buy any furniture. 276 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,015 I think it's a gift. 277 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,511 Oh, boy. 278 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,265 TONY: I bent down to pick up a book, 279 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,645 and I'll be darned if she didn't sneak a look at my derriere. 280 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,817 - (laughter on TV) - Oh, man. 281 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,526 You won't believe what's happening at Meemaw's house. 282 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,948 Is it more interesting than Who's the Boss? 283 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,196 Doubt it. 284 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,902 (phone rings) 285 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,155 Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture. Ira speaking. 286 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,165 Why are you sending me furniture? 287 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,164 I've decided I can't go away quietly. 288 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,204 I'm fighting for your love. 289 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,005 With a dinette set? 290 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,629 Oh, this isn't just any dinette set. It's our biggest seller. 291 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,210 And it's not pressed wood... 292 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:20,840 it's oak! 293 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,342 Ira, I don't like this. 294 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,053 Would you prefer a leather sectional? 295 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,852 Uh, what's going on? (chuckles) 296 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:30,766 Uh, 297 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,063 can I call you back? 298 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,690 I look forward to it. 299 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:34,688 You shouldn't. 300 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,813 Okay. 301 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,490 I guess you could say 302 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,991 one of my former boyfriends 303 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,570 is trying to win me back with furniture. 304 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,618 Huh. Impressive. 305 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,415 This is real oak. 306 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,584 Was that him on the phone? 307 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,411 Yes. I'm sorry. 308 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,627 Interesting. 309 00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,132 What? 310 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,586 Being challenged by another man 311 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,097 is making you more attractive to me. 312 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,265 I don't follow. 313 00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,309 I'll have to do some research, 314 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:13,226 but I'm guessing this is a genetic instinct 315 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,275 that's raising my libido. 316 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,770 (chuckling): I need a drink. 317 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,698 Can you believe he tried to win me back with a dinette set? 318 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,779 I'd give you a dinette set if you'd leave Texas. 319 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,873 So, would you return it? 320 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,667 Hell no, I'm keeping it. 321 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,244 But then you'll be beholden to him. 322 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:36,624 (sighs) 323 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,330 Would you ever take Ira back? 324 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:39,289 I don't know. 325 00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,216 He's sweet as he can be, but... 326 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,425 there's just something about John. 327 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,306 He's like a cute little teddy bear, you know? 328 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,640 A brilliant, 329 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:50,968 bicycle-riding 330 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,140 teddy bear. 331 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,555 I don't even understand half of what he says. 332 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,605 But... 333 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,602 when he's not around, I just miss him. 334 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,947 Sounds like you're falling in love. 335 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,320 Maybe I am. 336 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,157 Excellent. I love him, too. 337 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,362 Get out of here! 338 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,573 If you don't understand what Dr. Sturgis says, 339 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:13,790 I'm happy to explain it to you. 340 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:14,833 Get! 341 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,376 STURGIS: Excuse me. 342 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,633 I'm looking for Ira. 343 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,839 At your service. What can I do for you? 344 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,256 You, sir, have overstepped your bounds. 345 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,882 (chuckles) I'm sorry, what? 346 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,433 Miss Constance Tucker 347 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,933 made it clear your courtship was no longer welcome, 348 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,772 and you responded with six chairs, 349 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,518 a table, and an expansion leaf. 350 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,652 Who are you? 351 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,021 John Sturgis, 352 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,940 the man she chose 353 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,991 and your romantic rival. 354 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,694 I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what is it you want from me? 355 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,364 I want you to give up your pursuit of Connie. 356 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,916 All right, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my store. 357 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:58,501 Very well. 358 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,290 The line in the sand has been drawn. 359 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,216 Cross it at your own peril. 360 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,848 (quietly): Weirdo. 361 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,059 What was that? 362 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,314 You heard me. 363 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,818 Sir, I am a man with feelings. 364 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,734 And you have hurt them. 365 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,245 I know you've had a number of... 366 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,744 gentleman callers, 367 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,326 but I've never heard you speak like this before. 368 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,626 "Gentleman callers"? 369 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,420 And we wonder where Sheldon gets it. 370 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,834 (laughs) 371 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,257 I'm sorry y'all find this funny, 372 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,754 but this is the first time 373 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,052 my mother's expressed real interest in a man 374 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,504 since Dad died. 375 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,430 Forgive me for wanting to know more. 376 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,263 You really want to know more? 377 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,684 Imagine you're getting on in years, 378 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,015 you and your husband about to retire, 379 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,022 get a little timeshare in Sarasota, 380 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,479 and... suddenly... 381 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,322 he's gone, 382 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,782 and you're all alone. 383 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,284 You mourn, you cry, 384 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,531 but eventually you move on. 385 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,707 You start dating a little, 386 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,455 and it's all good fun. 387 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,291 But always in the back of your mind, 388 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,918 there's that question... 389 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,715 "Will I be alone in the end?" 390 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,016 (sniffles) 391 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,603 Why y'all looking at me for? 392 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,813 (sniffling) 393 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,062 Haven't slept in days. 394 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,893 It's like I'm a lovesick teenager, 395 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,230 - except I remember the Truman administration. - (chuckles) 396 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,736 Your feelings are understandable. 397 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,700 Connie is a remarkable woman. 398 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:54,867 Yes, she is. 399 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,746 But, again, I'm sorry. I should never have called you weird. 400 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,823 I mean, eh, it was rude. 401 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,417 I've been called much worse. 402 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:06,747 A professor once called me ostrobogulous. 403 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,332 I had to look that one up. 404 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,632 What's it mean? 405 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,922 That I'm a weirdo. 406 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,127 (laughs) 407 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,633 John, you're a great guy. 408 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:15,927 Well, you, too! 409 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,974 But I hope you understand, I just... 410 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,388 I can't give up on Connie. 411 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,687 That's all right. To tell you the truth, 412 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:26,108 I'm finding the competition quite exhilarating. 413 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,191 You are? 414 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,189 Oh, yes. 415 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,941 The night the dinette set arrived, 416 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,616 I did my first push-up in 40 years. 417 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,610 (laughs, snorts) 418 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,786 I'm sorry, but I find that to be, uh... 419 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,115 what's the word... astro-boobulous? 420 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,791 Ostrobogulous. 421 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,584 Ostrobogulous. 422 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:45,918 Exactly. 423 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,290 Now, give me your best price 424 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,841 on one of these 425 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,465 with a cup holder. 426 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:03,221 John! What a pleasant surprise. 427 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,601 - I have some news for you. - Oh? 428 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,645 - Mwah. What is that? - Mwah. 429 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,603 I went to the furniture store and spoke to Ira. 430 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,776 - Why would you do that? - To demand 431 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,825 that he respect your wish to be left alone. 432 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:21,368 John, it was not your place to do that. 433 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,741 Well, if it helps, 434 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,077 he doesn't plan on leaving you alone. 435 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,673 What the hell were you thinking?! 436 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,220 That I was being chivalrous. 437 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,297 By going behind my back? 438 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,596 You seem upset. 439 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:42,801 I am upset! 440 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,058 And how I handle Ira is my business! 441 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,435 Well, I hope you do it gently. 442 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,438 He's very vulnerable these days. 443 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:51,894 You're friends now? 444 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,570 Well, I wouldn't say friends, 445 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,647 but I could see, over time, 446 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:56,777 you know, we might... 447 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,029 Are you two fighting? 448 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,826 No. 449 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,154 Oh, good. (chuckles) 450 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,456 I was almost certain that we were. 451 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:05,495 We are. 452 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,121 - I'm confused. - Me, too. 453 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,168 Is this because you went to the furniture store? 454 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,496 He knows about this? 455 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,251 - Yes. - Yes. - All right, now, listen, 456 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,332 if this relationship's gonna have any chance at all, 457 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,005 we have to lay down some ground rules. 458 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,423 Great. I love rules. 459 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,966 I do, too. 460 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,014 I don't want you talking to him about anything 461 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,383 having to do with anything about us. 462 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,433 Same with you. 463 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:24,725 And I want you to stop 464 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,644 spying on me with those binoculars 465 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,848 like you're on some kind of African safari. 466 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,602 And you cannot talk 467 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:34,107 to Ira or any of my ex-boyfriends, for that matter. 468 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,987 This list is getting long. 469 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,780 Maybe we should write it down. 470 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,191 Hey. 471 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,694 ADULT SHELDON: In that moment, 472 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,699 I had an epiphany. 473 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,999 I could draw up a contract for any social relationship. 474 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,959 (whirring) 475 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:52,584 It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity 476 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,165 in a world that was often hard to understand. 477 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,795 Article three... 478 00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:59,048 Sheldon will not spy 479 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,381 on Meemaw's house with binoculars. 480 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,966 Type that one in bold. 481 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,059 (clicking) 482 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,680 (whirring) 483 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,727 Please sign and date. 484 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,981 You know, Sheldon, I'm a notary, if that helps. 485 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,157 Just when I thought you couldn't get cooler. 486 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:23,485 ADULT SHELDON: I would go on 487 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,162 to draw up such contracts throughout my life... 488 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,823 with roommates, 489 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,616 with my wife. 490 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,703 Even with my own children.