1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,873 Previously onYoung Sheldon...I'm Georgie. 2 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,048 Mandy. 3 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:06,180 How about while this runs, 4 00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,311 I take you to dinner? 5 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,965 How old are you? 6 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,445 GEORGE JR.: Do not say 17. 7 00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:11,837 Twenty-one. 8 00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:14,623 Well, funny seeing you here. 9 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,494 I'm just taking a little dinner break. 10 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,627 Here we go. Two margaritas. 11 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,672 I love their margaritas. 12 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,284 Well, this was fun. 13 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:24,981 It was for me. 14 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,678 Nice meeting you. 15 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,297 I don't want to get ahead of myself, 16 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,299 but the strength of the temperature deviations 17 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,301 is looking rather spicy. 18 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,520 How spicy?Five microkelvin. 19 00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:44,522 Muy caliente.[chuckles] 20 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:45,828 When should we publish? 21 00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,395 Not yet. There's only 22 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,875 a three-sigma significance. It needs to be higher. 23 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,878 That'd require a much more robust signal. 24 00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,228 And you know what that means. 25 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,665 Road trip to the super telescope? 26 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,841 Road trip to the super telescope, baby. 27 00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,060 When are we leaving? 28 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:03,193 Oh, right. You. 29 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,023 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 30 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,852 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 31 00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:12,463 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 32 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,813 ♪ I am a mighty little man 33 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:19,079 ♪ I am a mighty little man.♪ 34 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:25,259 So far, the data is extremely promising. 35 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,522 Five microkelvin! 36 00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:28,566 HAGEMEYER: Ah. 37 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,220 Well, you seem excited, 38 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,787 so... cool. 39 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,354 [chuckles] We just need 40 00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:35,617 budget approval to travel to the radio telescope 41 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:36,705 in the Davis Mountains. 42 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:37,923 Fine by me. 43 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,535 Yes!On to more pressing matters. 44 00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:43,277 Does Sheldon Cooper have to come?STURGIS: Shouldn't he? 45 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,930 He is part of the team. 46 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,890 But isn't there some rule against minors traveling? 47 00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,892 No.Can there be? 48 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,199 No, it's better for the project if he's out there 49 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,809 in the field with you. 50 00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,158 But isn't it better for his education 51 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,378 if he stays here in class?HAGEMEYER: Oh, I think 52 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,206 that a trip like this could be very educational 53 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:00,946 in its own way.LINKLETTER: Mm. 54 00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:03,253 You just don't want him around here bugging you. 55 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,908 Winner winner he's-going-with-you dinner. 56 00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:13,742 Hey, there. 57 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,353 You're Georgie's friend, right? 58 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,399 Yeah. Mandy. Hi.[chuckles] 59 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,966 You grow up around here?I did, 60 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,099 yeah. And then I, uh, moved to San Antonio 61 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,405 for a while after college. 62 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:27,190 After college.Yeah. 63 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:30,411 A&M. Then I got an internship at Good Morning San Antonio. 64 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,934 Uh-oh.MANDY: Then I worked my way up 65 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,588 to doing the morning weather report.Hey, y'all. 66 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:34,937 Well, 67 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,939 speak of the devil. 68 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,202 What's going on, ladies?MEEMAW: Just 69 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,943 getting to know Mandy here. 70 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,250 Yeah, I was telling her about San Antonio. 71 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,861 Oh, she's from Texas. She knows all about that stuff. 72 00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:48,342 Anyways, I'll let you get back to work.MEEMAW: Well, 73 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,952 I'll leave you two kids be. 74 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:53,216 And listen to me, calling you young adults "kids." 75 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:57,829 [chuckles] Like you were still teenagers or something. 76 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,309 I wish. [chuckles] 77 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,141 Mom, can I have your AAA card? 78 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,012 Why?I need to order 79 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,363 a TripTik for my road trip to Fort Davis. 80 00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,278 Who said you could go to Fort Davis? 81 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,627 President Hagemeyer. 82 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,977 Well, I didn't say you could go. 83 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,458 It's fine. I'll be with Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter. 84 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,894 For how long? 85 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,025 Three days. 86 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,810 And they're okay with this? 87 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,246 Why wouldn't they be? 88 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,987 No reason. 89 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,162 Hmm.Just the same, 90 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,816 I'm gonna check in with them. 91 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,644 In the meantime, can I call AAA? 92 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:32,342 Can it please wait?No. 93 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,780 [sighs] Card is in my purse. 94 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:38,392 You're what guys call "a keeper." 95 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,837 Mandy seems nice. 96 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,186 She's all right. 97 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,840 Things getting serious? 98 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,885 I don't know. Why?Just wondering 99 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,497 when you were gonna tell her your real age. 100 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,716 Age ain't nothing but a number.Yeah, 101 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,589 well, her number's way bigger than your number. 102 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,373 You ain't never lied about your age? 103 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,201 I'm a lady. Different rules. 104 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,073 It's not a big deal. We're just having fun.Yeah, 105 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,814 well, before you have too much fun, 106 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,207 you better tell her. 107 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,078 That sounds less fun. 108 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,863 Welcome to being an adult. 109 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,647 It sucks. 110 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,956 Dr. Linkletter? Mary Cooper. 111 00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,523 Ah, Mrs. Cooper. 112 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,568 I assume this is about the upcoming trip 113 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:27,179 and perhaps your very understandable reluctance 114 00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:28,703 to let Sheldon come. 115 00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:32,054 I have to admit I do have some concerns. 116 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,577 As you should. 117 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,665 So, you're saying you'd prefer 118 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,450 he not go with us?[Mary sighs] 119 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:39,104 But he'd be so disappointed. 120 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,063 Not more disappointed than me. 121 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:44,109 So, you feel good about him going? 122 00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,156 Only if you feel good about it. 123 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,941 You're his parent. I'm just an absentminded academic 124 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:51,552 who's never had children. 125 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,944 Come on, now. 126 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,381 You've been such a great help 127 00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,557 looking after him at college. 128 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,560 Yes, but college isn't the same as three days in a van. 129 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,735 Huh. 130 00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,433 Sheldon can be a nervous traveler. 131 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,741 Ah. Sounds like you don't want him to go. 132 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,352 No, I do want him to go. I just want to make sure 133 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,268 that you and Dr. Sturgis are okay with it. 134 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,097 We're okay with it. 135 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,317 If you're okay with it. 136 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,493 If you're okay with it, I'm okay with it. 137 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:22,322 Then it would seem we're both okay with it. 138 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,323 Okay. 139 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,412 Okay.MARY: Oh, 140 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,152 he's gonna be so happy. 141 00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:29,241 Uh-huh. 142 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,859 You ready for your road trip? 143 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,991 Yes. I'm plotting bathroom breaks. 144 00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,645 It's tricky because I'm not sure 145 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:44,431 how frequently Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis need to urinate. 146 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,433 Maybe I should call them. 147 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:48,609 Ooh, I wouldn't. You ask old guys about their bladder, 148 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,698 you're in for a long conversation. 149 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,003 What's with the maps? 150 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,136 I'm going with Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter 151 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,530 to a radio telescope in the Davis Mountains. 152 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,096 [sighs] Of course you are. 153 00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,708 Problem?Nope. He gets to do 154 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,405 whatever he wants, and I'm not even allowed 155 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,059 to go the beach with my friends. 156 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,843 It's just a school trip. 157 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,845 It's fine. 158 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,152 SHELDON: Oh. Says here Fort Stockton 159 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,197 is home to the world's largest roadrunner statue, 160 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,634 which is the stuff of nightmares. 161 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,679 But they do have a restroom. 162 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,029 [knock on door] 163 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,814 Can I talk to you? 164 00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,642 Am I in trouble?No. 165 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,686 It's about a girl. 166 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,601 Oh. You'rein trouble. 167 00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,081 Yeah, sure. 168 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:29,084 I'm not really in trouble. I'm just dating this girl, 169 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,651 and she's a little older than me. 170 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,348 What's the problem? 171 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,090 She doesn't exactly know how much older than me she is. 172 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,657 How much older is she? 173 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:37,919 Like ten years. 174 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,704 But she's blond and she's really hot. 175 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:43,098 Well, that doesn't matter. 176 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,709 I mean, if you're lying to her, that's not okay. 177 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,276 Hold on. 178 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,496 You're saying if you were my age and dating this hot girl, 179 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,846 you'd tell her the truth and blow your chances? 180 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,283 Well, that's not the question you asked me. 181 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,850 So, what would you really do? 182 00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,721 [exhales] 183 00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,244 She married? 184 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,376 No.She got kids? 185 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,030 No.I don't see the problem. 186 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,858 Thank you.My pleasure. 187 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,816 You're like the son I never wanted. 188 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:10,995 Hey, I know I don't work here anymore, 189 00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,215 but could I use this office tonight? 190 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,390 No. 191 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,522 Fine. 192 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,566 Did you used to? 193 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,440 [scoffs softly] No. 194 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,446 You might want to pace yourself. 195 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,404 Our next rest stop isn't for another... 196 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,232 62 miles. 197 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,234 If anyone needs to go before that, 198 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,670 I've got a trucker's buddy in back. 199 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:34,845 What's that? 200 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,543 A bottle you urinate in. 201 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,631 I'm sorry, 202 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,502 are we the Donner Party? 203 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,417 Societal norms are different on road trips. 204 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,724 Normally, I don't eat junk food, 205 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,553 but here, it's tradition. 206 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:49,904 I'm not even sure what a chicharron is. 207 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,993 It's the deep-fried skin of a pig. 208 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:55,083 That seems like something they should say on the bag. 209 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,606 How about some music? 210 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,434 No one likes music. How about a car game? 211 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,567 Ooh, I have a fun one where I say 212 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,656 a formula, and then you have to say another formula 213 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,440 starting with the last letter or number 214 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,573 that I said. So, for example, if I said,[Linkletter groans] 215 00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,836 "X" equals negative "B" plus or minus...Music it is. 216 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,838 [classical music playing] 217 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,845 I'm sorry I can't help out on driving duty. 218 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:20,282 You really never learned?I got 219 00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:23,590 my permit, but I've never been comfortable behind the wheel. 220 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,808 That's a shame. 221 00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:27,637 I do enjoy the tranquility of the open road. 222 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:30,597 I find it produces a Zen-like calm. 223 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,163 Mm. 224 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,774 You know what else is calming? 225 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,210 A fun car game. 226 00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,472 How about this. 227 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,213 We'll count out-of-state license plates. 228 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,041 First one to a hundred wins. 229 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,130 Not as fun as mine, but very well. 230 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:43,566 Um... Ooh, Oklahoma. 231 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,872 Silently. 232 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,312 [crunching] 233 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,538 [TV playing indistinctly][door opens, closes] 234 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,498 Hey. Is your mom home? 235 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,630 Church. 236 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,066 Oh. What are you up to? 237 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,850 Nothing. 238 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,071 Put your shoes on. 239 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,638 Why? 240 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,509 Let's you and me go do something fun. 241 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,512 Something I think is fun or something you think is fun? 242 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,428 Something we both think is fun. Come on, get in the truck. 243 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,996 You gonna teach me how to drive?No. 244 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,607 You sure? It would just make me feel so much better 245 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:28,524 about all the stuff Sheldon gets to do.You're not driving. 246 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,527 I would seriously love you so much if I could drive.Stop it. 247 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,444 At what age do guys stop acting like idiots? 248 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,098 Oh, no. What'd I do now? 249 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,056 Not you. Georgie's 250 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:42,103 dating an older woman and he's lying about his age. 251 00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:45,541 Oh. That rascal. 252 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,716 You already knew. 253 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,413 You don't know what I know. 254 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:49,850 I see it in your face. 255 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:52,896 [sighs] Fine. Well, he asked for my advice. 256 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,073 Well, I hope you told him that he has to come clean. 257 00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,685 I did. 258 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,426 Sounds like there's a "but" on the way. 259 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,386 [sighs] But then he asked me what I would've done. 260 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,735 Dale.Well, uh, 261 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,389 you don't know all the facts. 262 00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,695 What are the facts? 263 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,305 [clears throat]He said 264 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,699 that she was blond and hot. 265 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,049 And that makes it okay to lie? 266 00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:16,659 At my age, no. 267 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,748 At his age? 268 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,230 No. 269 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,449 STURGIS:Does it go straight like this for a while? 270 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,842 It's Texas. 271 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,715 Goes straight like this for the rest of our lives. 272 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,586 You thinking of giving it a try? 273 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,284 Well, there aren't any cars around. 274 00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:36,723 Uh, seems like a good place to practice. 275 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,508 Excellent. I could use a break. 276 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,162 This is exciting. 277 00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,816 I'm all atingle. 278 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,166 You are not peeing in a bottle. 279 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,606 [engine turns off]Here we are. 280 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,826 Red Lobster? 281 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,479 You love this place. 282 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,177 Holy moly. 283 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,265 It's good, huh? 284 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,483 Unbelievable. 285 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,485 Yeah, when I was, like, eight. 286 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,445 Well, come on, we had our first daddy-daughter date here. 287 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,795 Oh, my God, don't ever call it that again. 288 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,275 What? 289 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,277 I have friends who come here on actual dates. 290 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,279 They might see us. 291 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,935 Thought it'd be nice. 292 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,284 [indistinct chatter] 293 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:18,199 Can we please go anywhere else? 294 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,941 [sighs]Fine. 295 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,293 You know, they have those cheddar biscuits.Dad. 296 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,164 Fine.[engine starts] 297 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,688 STURGIS: I'm doing it. 298 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,646 This is going quite well. 299 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,126 Feel free to pick up the pace. 300 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:34,650 A butterfly just passed us.STURGIS: Well, 301 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,174 what's the speed limit?75. 302 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,829 And I'm going... 303 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:40,874 ten. 304 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,354 I'll pick up the pace. 305 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,965 Speaking of slow-moving transportation, 306 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,271 did you know that the slowest express train in the world 307 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,360 is the Glacier Express in Switzerland? 308 00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:51,232 I spent a month in Switzerland at CERN. 309 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,755 [thud]STURGIS: Oh, no! 310 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,757 I hit an armadillo. 311 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,150 So? Just keep driving. 312 00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,151 [seat belt clicks]STURGIS: No, 313 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,675 I can't. I have to check on it. 314 00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,157 [car door closes]Is he hoping it's alive or dead? 315 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,680 Alive. 316 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,029 Ugh. 317 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,517 Oh, no, what have I done? 318 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,519 It's still moving. 319 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:18,563 Like we should be. Let's go. 320 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,827 We need a box and a towel. 321 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,872 We don't need a coffin. The birds will eat it. 322 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,919 It's to keep it safe until we find help. 323 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,182 John, these animals carry all kinds of diseases. 324 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,662 That's what the towel's for. 325 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,229 This is Texas. Armadillo roadkill 326 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,970 is practically the state animal. 327 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,974 So, where you want to go? 328 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,847 I am up for anything. 329 00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,675 I was thinking the bar, but I go there so much. 330 00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,329 What about a movie? 331 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:49,594 Or we could just go back to your place. 332 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,335 Oh. 333 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,076 That-That'd be amazing. 334 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,078 Well, amazing's a lot of pressure, 335 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,341 but I'll give it a shot. [chuckles] 336 00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,691 ♪ I don't know who I am... 337 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,693 Listen, 338 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,826 when I said I moved out of my parents' place, 339 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,741 that was true. 340 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,875 But I'm kind of living in their garage. 341 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,052 Well, my parents are in the bedroom next to mine, 342 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,270 so it's your place or nothing. 343 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,098 My place works. 344 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,839 [faucet running] 345 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,710 [faucet turns off] 346 00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:22,105 Don't get bitten. I'm not wrapping you in a towel, too. 347 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,846 I'm just giving it water. 348 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,457 Okay, there's a firehouse 28 miles away. 349 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,198 I bet they can help. 350 00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,722 I was thinking we'd leave it on their doorstep. 351 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,813 This isn't a joke. I injured this creature, 352 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,424 so I have to take care of it. Do you understand? 353 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,296 Yes, sir. 354 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:44,388 GEORGE SR.: Well, it's not lobster, but... 355 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,565 least your friends won't see us. 356 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,741 Sorry. 357 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,787 It's okay. 358 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,877 You're just getting older. 359 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,879 I guess. 360 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,751 Sure I was a jackass to my parents, too. 361 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:00,883 Hey! 362 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,279 How's your burger? 363 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,628 So good. 364 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,109 It is pretty good. 365 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,764 Hey, maybe this can be our new spot for daddy-daughter dates. 366 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,115 Please stop saying that.What? 367 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,333 Daddy-daughter dates? 368 00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:17,595 Yes. 369 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,684 Mm. Okay. 370 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:22,644 What would you like me to call our daddy-daughter dates? 371 00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,515 [chuckles]: You're so annoying. 372 00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,431 [chuckles] 373 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,477 ["Cry for the Bad Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing] 374 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,350 [toilet flushes] 375 00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,265 LINKLETTER: This isn't 376 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,094 exactly the firehouse I was expecting. 377 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,922 Are minors allowed in here? 378 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,228 No one should be allowed in here. 379 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,273 I'm sure they have a phone we can use. 380 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,275 Excuse me, barkeep? 381 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,277 Could we get some help over here? 382 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,844 And don't say "barkeep." 383 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:53,327 ♪ Well, he knocked me down, but I'm on my feet... ♪ 384 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,285 Y'all must be lost. 385 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:58,810 Oh, we're not lost. You can't get lost with a AAA TripTik. 386 00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,857 I mean, I don't know where you're trying to be, 387 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,641 but this ain't it. 388 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,340 Message received. We'll be on our way.Please. 389 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,996 We have an injured armadillo that needs medical assistance. 390 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:13,129 You brought that filthy thing into my bar? 391 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,044 And now we're taking it out. Let's go. 392 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:17,177 If we could just use your phone.Look, 393 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,526 you seem like nice folk, 394 00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:21,007 but Yankees ain't popular around here. 395 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,835 I suggest you be on your way. 396 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,228 Sorry to have troubled you. 397 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,839 Let's go.Excuse me. 398 00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:29,624 My colleagues may be from the North, 399 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,409 but for your information, I'm a Texan, born and bred. 400 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:34,455 I know that real chili has no beans, 401 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,196 and when my meemaw says, "Bless your heart," 402 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,067 she means something very different. 403 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,374 Now, my friend here is in need of help, 404 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,419 and since our state motto is literally "friendship," 405 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:45,031 may he please use your phone? 406 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,423 ♪ Well, I work... 407 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,078 Well, dang. 408 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:52,038 ♪ Eight when I am able... 409 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,605 And could I trouble you for a yellow pages? 410 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,520 Oh, boy. 411 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,004 MEEMAW: Oh, Georgie. 412 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,093 I'm so disappointed in you. 413 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,055 Is everything okay? 414 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:13,102 Yeah. Very okay. 415 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,540 Tell her before things go too far. 416 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,107 DALE: Would you leave the kid alone? 417 00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:20,283 He's just having some fun.He's lying, 418 00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,242 and she deserves to know. 419 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,417 Just let it go. 420 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,722 No. He's feeling guilty, 421 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,246 and he's gonna do the right thing. 422 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,725 DALE: Connie, the second 423 00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,119 that girl's shirt comes off, it's game over. 424 00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,078 No. My grandson has 425 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,080 more integrity than you're giving him credit... 426 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,734 GEORGE JR.:Amazing. 427 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,214 [exhales] 428 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,911 Boy, I am stuffed. 429 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:42,653 You know, if you're too full to drive, I could help. 430 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,960 You're not driving my truck. 431 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,788 Come on. Just here in the parking lot? 432 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:47,919 No. 433 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,660 Please, Daddy? 434 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,316 I know what you're doing. 435 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,406 Creating memories that'll last a lifetime? 436 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,105 [exhales] 437 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,760 Okay. Foot on the brake. 438 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,415 Which one's that? 439 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,462 Oh, boy. The one on the left. 440 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,768 Got it.All right. Now 441 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,770 pull the shifter toward you 442 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,164 and then down to "D," like this. Here. 443 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,036 [gear shifts]All right? 444 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,081 Now, the most important step. 445 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,998 Do not ever tell your mother we did this. 446 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,608 I'm not an idiot. Let's go. 447 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,610 [sighs] All right. Now 448 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,177 take your foot off the brake 449 00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,049 and gently put it on the...[tires screech] 450 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,920 MISSY: [laughs] I'm driving! 451 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,535 I know you're a human hospital, 452 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:42,235 but the animal hospital isn't answering their phone. 453 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:46,108 Well, is there a doctor who has a soft spot for pets? 454 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,720 Maybe a nurse with pictures of cats on her desk? 455 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,896 You can hang up the phone, John. 456 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,550 Why? 457 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,596 I think you know why. 458 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:59,121 ♪ But only would I... 459 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,776 Thank you for your time. 460 00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,261 Well, that's a shame. 461 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,914 I'm sorry. 462 00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:13,092 It's just an armadillo, right? 463 00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,268 It didn't seem that way to you in the van. 464 00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:18,097 I know it's silly, but... 465 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,926 when I saw it lying there all bald and helpless, 466 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,015 I thought, 467 00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,235 "That's gonna be me one day." 468 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:31,284 That is the most damn depressing thing I have ever heard. 469 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:35,288 The end of life does tend to be depressing. 470 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:38,160 In New Orleans, they embrace the tradition of a jazz funeral 471 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,728 where the deceased are celebrated through music. 472 00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:42,643 That's true. 473 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,819 Barkeep, do you happen to have 474 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,908 any Dixieland jazz on the jukebox 475 00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:50,129 to celebrate the life of an armadillo? 476 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,174 Y'all need to leave now. 477 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,002 MAN: Turn away from sin...ADULT SHELDON: After a quick burial 478 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,569 [radio changing stations] behind the bar, 479 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,266 we were back on the road. 480 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,921 Dr. Sturgis tried to find some appropriate music 481 00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,531 for a proper send-off. 482 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:05,231 Three Christian talk shows and a whole lot of static later, 483 00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,494 he settled on what he declared 484 00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:10,410 the Dixieland jazz of West Texas. 485 00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,455 ["El Son de la Negra / Guadalajara" playing] 486 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:14,153 Mariachi. 487 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,335 Vaya con dios,armadillo. 488 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,685 Vaya con dios. 489 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,470 Captioning sponsored by CBS 490 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:31,474 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 491 00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,520 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org