1 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,960 (train whistle blows) 2 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,471 ADULT SHELDON: I’ve always loved trains. 3 00:00:13,715 --> 00:00:15,960 In fact, if my career 4 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,960 in theoretical physics hadn’t worked out, my backup plan 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,643 was to become a professional ticket taker. 6 00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:22,960 Or a hobo. 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,960 (train whistle blows) 8 00:00:30,652 --> 00:00:33,690 And when I figured out that trains allowed me 9 00:00:33,691 --> 00:00:35,295 to prove Newton’s first law-- 10 00:00:35,295 --> 00:00:38,295 an object in motion stays in motion 11 00:00:38,295 --> 00:00:39,960 with the same speed and in the same direction 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,480 unless acted upon by an unbalanced force-- 13 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,822 I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, 14 00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,573 alone and happy. 15 00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:49,960 MARY: Shelly, dinner’s ready! 16 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,352 ♪ Be-bop-a-lula, baby, what I say ♪ 17 00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:55,438 (giggles) I don’t care how dimwitted you are. 18 00:00:55,438 --> 00:00:58,672 Scientific principles have to make you smile. 19 00:00:58,672 --> 00:01:00,960 Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,429 in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. 21 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,960 The only Newtons they cared about 22 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,960 were Wayne and Fig. 23 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,468 MISSY: Sheldon, if you don’t get in here, 24 00:01:10,468 --> 00:01:12,234 I’m gonna lick your toothbrush! 25 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,077 Coming! 26 00:01:13,077 --> 00:01:14,561 That’s my sister. 27 00:01:14,562 --> 00:01:15,921 And she’s done it before. 28 00:01:16,670 --> 00:01:17,709 ♪ Do the walk of life ♪ 29 00:01:18,637 --> 00:01:20,670 ♪ Yeah, he do the walk of life ♪ 30 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:22,445 The hell were you doing out there? 31 00:01:22,446 --> 00:01:23,865 George, language. 32 00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:25,490 What language? So? 33 00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:27,955 I was exploring dimensional kinematics. 34 00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:29,421 Admit it-- he’s adopted. 35 00:01:29,421 --> 00:01:30,669 SHELDON: How can I be adopted 36 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,334 when I have a twin sister? 37 00:01:32,335 --> 00:01:33,960 Think, monkey, think. 38 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,960 MARY: That’s enough. 39 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:35,960 No one’s adopted. 40 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:36,960 I wish I was. 41 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:37,960 That can still be arranged. 42 00:01:38,937 --> 00:01:39,960 Now, let’s pray. 43 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,160 A moment, please. 44 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:43,960 (sighs) 45 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:44,866 Leave him be. 46 00:01:44,866 --> 00:01:45,850 He can hold hands 47 00:01:45,851 --> 00:01:47,296 with his family. It won’t kill him. 48 00:01:47,296 --> 00:01:47,960 We don’t know that. 49 00:01:48,835 --> 00:01:50,960 Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? 50 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,413 Or even this week? 51 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,812 None of your business. 52 00:01:53,812 --> 00:01:54,960 Hence the mittens. 53 00:01:57,296 --> 00:01:58,398 Thank you, God, for this food 54 00:01:58,398 --> 00:02:00,960 we’re about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, 55 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,006 and bless the hands that prepared it. 56 00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:03,960 ALL: Amen. 57 00:02:06,304 --> 00:02:07,960 How come we ain’t got no tater tots? 58 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,015 I made tater tots last night. 59 00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:12,571 GEORGE: I’d take tater tots over mashed potaters any day. 60 00:02:12,571 --> 00:02:13,993 Just eat what I made you. 61 00:02:13,993 --> 00:02:15,618 Can we at least have tater tots tomorrow? 62 00:02:15,618 --> 00:02:17,665 ADULT SHELDON: It was family dinners like this 63 00:02:17,665 --> 00:02:19,960 that led me to adopt a mid-Atlantic accent. 64 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,961 Nobel Prize winners... 65 00:02:21,961 --> 00:02:24,359 (Southern accent): ought not be orderin’ tater tots. 66 00:02:24,359 --> 00:02:26,625 Everybody excited to start school Monday? 67 00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:27,414 I am. 68 00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:28,417 I guess so. 69 00:02:29,211 --> 00:02:30,633 MARY: Georgie? 70 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,180 Freshman year, that’s a big deal. 71 00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:33,852 How can I be excited when he’s gonna be 72 00:02:33,852 --> 00:02:35,415 in the same grade as me? 73 00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:36,852 SHELDON: Don’t worry, Georgie, I’m not planning 74 00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:39,204 on being in the ninth grade for very long. 75 00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,586 All I know is he’s not in the same grade as me anymore, 76 00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:42,891 and I’m thrilled. 77 00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:44,670 Good luck with your finger painting. 78 00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:46,678 You’re gonna get your ass kicked in high school. 79 00:02:46,678 --> 00:02:48,248 MARY: Hey, language. 80 00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:49,725 I’m not going to be assaulted. 81 00:02:49,725 --> 00:02:51,772 High school is a haven for higher learning. 82 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,163 Oh, dear God. 83 00:02:53,161 --> 00:02:54,905 Speaking of God, who’s going to church 84 00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:55,780 with me tomorrow? 85 00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:58,421 I can't. I’m meeting with the other coaches. 86 00:02:58,421 --> 00:02:59,601 You can’t meet after church? 87 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,225 No, Mary, I can’t meet after church. 88 00:03:03,119 --> 00:03:04,343 Georgie? 89 00:03:04,343 --> 00:03:05,538 I got to study my playbook. 90 00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:10,960 I’ll go with you, Mom. 91 00:03:11,507 --> 00:03:12,491 MISSY: Why are you going? 92 00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:13,757 You don’t believe in God. 93 00:03:13,757 --> 00:03:15,820 No, but I believe in Mom. 94 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,554 I’ll take that. Missy? 95 00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:18,726 Can’t, Heather asked me to... 96 00:03:18,726 --> 00:03:19,523 You’re goin’. 97 00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:20,960 Son of a bitch. 98 00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:22,032 Hey. 99 00:03:22,032 --> 00:03:22,532 Ow! 100 00:03:22,532 --> 00:03:23,460 (laughs) 101 00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:26,287 MARY: Missy... (gasps) Don’t you 102 00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:28,960 throw something at the dinner table. George Jr. 103 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,506 ADULT SHELDON: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. 104 00:03:32,506 --> 00:03:33,381 MISSY: Hey! 105 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,958 I just had to go to dinner. 106 00:03:36,006 --> 00:03:37,764 Never at the dinner table! 107 00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:38,960 You knock that off, George! 108 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,960 D-Do not retaliate! 109 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,960 ♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪ 110 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,128 ♪ Marching as to war ♪ 111 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:53,960 ♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪ 112 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:59,960 ♪ Going on before ♪ 113 00:04:00,804 --> 00:04:03,960 In Matthew nine, verse four, Jesus said, 114 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,160 "Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" 115 00:04:08,826 --> 00:04:10,062 (quietly): Do you have evil thoughts? 116 00:04:10,062 --> 00:04:11,021 Shh. 117 00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:12,960 I just don’t think this part applies to me. 118 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,962 That’s fine. Be quiet and listen. 119 00:04:15,954 --> 00:04:17,352 I’m only nine years old. 120 00:04:17,353 --> 00:04:18,960 Most evil doesn’t start till puberty. 121 00:04:19,411 --> 00:04:19,960 (clears throat) 122 00:04:21,091 --> 00:04:21,670 Hello. 123 00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,960 Philippians 4:8, 124 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,341 "Finally, brothers, whatever is..." 125 00:04:26,341 --> 00:04:27,849 Do you have evil thoughts? 126 00:04:27,849 --> 00:04:29,302 I’m having one right now. 127 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,546 Really? What is it? 128 00:04:30,546 --> 00:04:33,335 When we get home, I’m gonna kick your little balls. 129 00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:35,091 You can’t. They haven’t descended yet. 130 00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:38,477 Mom? 131 00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:38,960 What? 132 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,018 When should I be expecting my testicles? 133 00:04:41,018 --> 00:04:42,777 "...whatever is admirable..." 134 00:04:42,777 --> 00:04:44,837 What is wrong with him? 135 00:04:44,837 --> 00:04:46,785 Nothin’ is wrong with him. 136 00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:48,793 Now, turn around before I knock your lights out. 137 00:04:48,793 --> 00:04:51,960 PASTOR: ...continually on these things. 138 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,804 A good thought leads to a good thing. 139 00:04:54,804 --> 00:04:56,882 You feel it in your body. You feel it in your... 140 00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:59,171 ADULT SHELDON: My mom was my Christian soldier. 141 00:04:59,171 --> 00:05:01,757 ...leads to evil things and sits there and... 142 00:05:01,757 --> 00:05:04,452 And for the record, they descended when I was 15. 143 00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:10,976 Synced and corrected by matheus179 144 00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:12,054 (whirring) 145 00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:14,054 (music) 146 00:05:18,148 --> 00:05:21,226 Shelly, it’s your last day of summer. Go out and enjoy it. 147 00:05:21,226 --> 00:05:23,199 But I have to learn the student handbook. 148 00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:25,571 Ooh, did you know extreme hairstyles, 149 00:05:25,571 --> 00:05:27,829 goatees and mustaches are not allowed? 150 00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:28,852 I didn’t. 151 00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:30,797 I personally find that very reassuring. 152 00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,522 Look what a beautiful day it is. 153 00:05:34,852 --> 00:05:36,852 (loud whirring) 154 00:05:36,852 --> 00:05:38,852 (tires screeching) 155 00:05:40,852 --> 00:05:43,729 (deep barking) 156 00:05:45,852 --> 00:05:46,922 Go play. 157 00:05:47,469 --> 00:05:50,110 "Go play"-- if only life were that simple. 158 00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:58,735 There, I played. 159 00:05:58,735 --> 00:06:00,187 Hey, Sheldon! 160 00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:02,062 Hello, Billy Sparks. 161 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,969 Hello, Matilda Sparks. 162 00:06:03,969 --> 00:06:06,110 I heard you’re going to high school tomorrow. 163 00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:06,853 I am. 164 00:06:06,853 --> 00:06:08,806 You’re going to have to find someone else 165 00:06:08,806 --> 00:06:10,197 to torment on the playground. 166 00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:12,485 "Torment"? 167 00:06:12,485 --> 00:06:14,704 (sighs) It means to maliciously harass. 168 00:06:14,704 --> 00:06:16,501 "Her ass"? (chuckles) 169 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,735 That’s funny. 170 00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:18,844 Well, this was nice. 171 00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:20,852 Hey, doofus! 172 00:06:21,392 --> 00:06:22,509 (squawks) 173 00:06:22,509 --> 00:06:24,282 Mom! 174 00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:24,852 Good girl. 175 00:06:24,853 --> 00:06:25,900 Mom! 176 00:06:27,711 --> 00:06:29,984 MARY: What am I supposed to do? His feet are growing. 177 00:06:29,985 --> 00:06:31,852 GEORGE SR.: Why can’t he wear Georgie’s old shoes? 178 00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:33,015 He won’t hold your hand. 179 00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:34,281 You think he’s gonna put his feet 180 00:06:34,281 --> 00:06:35,508 in his brother’s smelly shoes? 181 00:06:35,507 --> 00:06:37,354 Well, we damn well better cut back somewhere. 182 00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:39,096 Will you please keep your voice down? 183 00:06:39,096 --> 00:06:40,362 (door shuts) 184 00:06:40,362 --> 00:06:42,362 They’re fighting about you again. 185 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,323 They’re fighting about money. 186 00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:46,495 It’s a common argument in marriages. 187 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,356 (door opens) 188 00:06:49,754 --> 00:06:50,625 Lights out. 189 00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,752 Big day tomorrow. 190 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,384 Mom? 191 00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:54,984 Hmm? 192 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,532 Do we have financial problems? 193 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,672 Don’t you worry about that. 194 00:07:00,672 --> 00:07:01,672 We are fine. 195 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:02,993 Now, go to sleep. 196 00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:04,746 (door shuts) 197 00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:05,754 (sighs) 198 00:07:05,754 --> 00:07:08,504 She’s lying. She just said that to make you feel better. 199 00:07:09,832 --> 00:07:10,965 Mom doesn’t lie. 200 00:07:11,941 --> 00:07:14,271 Sure, she thinks the Earth was made in six days, 201 00:07:14,271 --> 00:07:16,685 but that’s ’cause she’s gullible, not a liar. 202 00:07:21,618 --> 00:07:22,852 MISSY: Mom, 203 00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,852 Sheldon can’t find his bowtie. 204 00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:27,188 Really? I laid it out for him. 205 00:07:27,188 --> 00:07:29,469 Leave it alone, Mary. He doesn’t need a bowtie. 206 00:07:29,469 --> 00:07:31,961 It’s his first day of school. Let him wear what he wants. 207 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,727 SHELDON: Mom, I can’t find my bowtie! 208 00:07:34,727 --> 00:07:36,952 Dear Lord, why’s he got to wear a bowtie? 209 00:07:38,203 --> 00:07:39,502 Can I drive in with you? 210 00:07:40,236 --> 00:07:41,119 Sure. 211 00:07:41,119 --> 00:07:43,088 Everybody’s gonna know he’s your brother. 212 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,852 It’s gonna be awful for you. 213 00:07:44,852 --> 00:07:45,852 Tell her to shut up. 214 00:07:46,736 --> 00:07:47,852 She’s not wrong. 215 00:07:48,174 --> 00:07:49,549 (TV plays quietly) 216 00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:50,526 It’s got to be here. 217 00:07:50,526 --> 00:07:51,832 SHELDON: It’s not. It’s not! 218 00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:54,059 Shelly, stay calm. We’ll find it. 219 00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,129 My tie is gone! My tie is gone! 220 00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,769 Shelly, you don’t really need a tie. 221 00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,853 I have to find my tie. I have to find my tie. 222 00:08:01,318 --> 00:08:02,443 Be right back. 223 00:08:02,443 --> 00:08:05,209 Professor Proton wears a bowtie! 224 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,029 George Junior, 225 00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:09,633 give me back that bowtie right now! 226 00:08:09,633 --> 00:08:11,336 - I didn’t take it! - Don’t you lie to me! 227 00:08:11,336 --> 00:08:12,802 I’m not lying! 228 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,088 We’ll see about that. 229 00:08:15,088 --> 00:08:16,854 Stay out of my room! 230 00:08:16,854 --> 00:08:18,760 She’s gonna find your dirty magazines. 231 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,221 Shut up! 232 00:08:20,221 --> 00:08:22,020 You are not having a good day. 233 00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:23,354 (sighs) 234 00:08:26,852 --> 00:08:28,852 (sighs) 235 00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:31,227 Ugh! 236 00:08:31,852 --> 00:08:33,633 (sighs) 237 00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:36,110 Hey. Hey, he didn’t take it. 238 00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:38,071 - Then what happened to it?! - Help me find my bowtie! 239 00:08:38,071 --> 00:08:40,294 I’ll check in the bathroom! 240 00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:41,340 I took it. 241 00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:43,744 Why would you do that? 242 00:08:43,744 --> 00:08:46,111 Mary, the boy is nine years old and going into high school. 243 00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:48,057 Isn’t that weird enough? 244 00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:49,151 Give it to me. 245 00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,783 Come on. It’s not just Sheldon. 246 00:08:51,308 --> 00:08:52,853 Georgie’s gonna be in class with him. 247 00:08:52,854 --> 00:08:54,221 Not in the bathroom! 248 00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:56,058 Give it. 249 00:08:58,165 --> 00:09:00,649 ♪Think about it ♪ 250 00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,927 ♪There must be higher love♪ 251 00:09:03,532 --> 00:09:07,571 ♪ Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above ♪ 252 00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:08,895 ♪ Without it... ♪ 253 00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:10,731 Would you like to play a driving game? 254 00:09:10,731 --> 00:09:12,739 Not really. I always lose. 255 00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,059 I know. That’s why it’s fun. 256 00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:17,443 How about license plates with prime numbers 257 00:09:17,443 --> 00:09:18,263 followed by a cons...? 258 00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:19,177 Why don’t we just talk? 259 00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:20,461 Very well. 260 00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:23,553 You understand 261 00:09:23,554 --> 00:09:25,790 that some people are gonna be intimidated by you 262 00:09:25,790 --> 00:09:27,056 ’cause of how smart you are? 263 00:09:27,462 --> 00:09:29,376 Or maybe they’ll recognize my intellect 264 00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:30,851 and make me their leader. 265 00:09:32,431 --> 00:09:34,142 Lord, look after my son. 266 00:09:34,142 --> 00:09:36,248 Don’t let him get stuffed in a gym bag. 267 00:09:37,718 --> 00:09:42,538 ♪ Bring me a higher love, oh, oh ♪ 268 00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:44,852 ♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪ 269 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,063 (distorted sounds and voices) 270 00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,157 (distorted speech) 271 00:09:49,852 --> 00:09:51,172 Oh, dear. 272 00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,172 Yeah. 273 00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:55,282 That boy has an exposed tattoo. 274 00:09:55,281 --> 00:09:56,133 He does. 275 00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:59,086 I wonder if he knows that’s in violation of the dress code. 276 00:09:59,852 --> 00:10:04,052 Speaking of which, how about we lose the bowtie? 277 00:10:04,399 --> 00:10:05,552 Why? 278 00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:08,440 Look around, honey. None of the other kids are wearing one. 279 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,995 Well, perhaps I’ll start a fad. 280 00:10:09,994 --> 00:10:11,852 No, you won’t. Please trust Mommy. 281 00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:15,187 All right, tell you what. 282 00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,343 You take it off, and this weekend, 283 00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,473 I’ll take you to RadioShack. 284 00:10:20,782 --> 00:10:21,696 Hmm? 285 00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:23,852 (bell ringing) 286 00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:25,852 (indistinct chatter) 287 00:10:27,852 --> 00:10:29,752 (growling) 288 00:10:29,752 --> 00:10:30,852 You doing okay? 289 00:10:30,852 --> 00:10:32,852 I guess. 290 00:10:32,852 --> 00:10:34,020 (roars) 291 00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,852 I smell ammonia. 292 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:38,354 They must’ve done a thorough cleaning recently. 293 00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,562 I like that. 294 00:10:40,562 --> 00:10:43,657 MARY: And remember, if anybody bothers you, what do you say? 295 00:10:43,657 --> 00:10:45,523 My dad’s a football coach. 296 00:10:45,523 --> 00:10:46,195 And? 297 00:10:46,195 --> 00:10:47,852 My brother’s a football player. 298 00:10:47,852 --> 00:10:48,652 Good. 299 00:10:49,289 --> 00:10:50,461 Hey, Mom, look. 300 00:10:50,461 --> 00:10:51,797 That girl’s pregnant. 301 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:53,852 Congratulations. 302 00:11:00,555 --> 00:11:01,852 (toilet flushing) 303 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,617 Well, that was revolting. 304 00:11:05,789 --> 00:11:08,156 All right. This is your homeroom. 305 00:11:08,154 --> 00:11:09,680 Do you want me to go in with you? 306 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,110 No. Although I could’ve used you in the restroom. 307 00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,386 Okay, well... 308 00:11:15,156 --> 00:11:16,156 You have a good day. 309 00:11:16,156 --> 00:11:17,781 And I’ll pick you up after school, 310 00:11:17,781 --> 00:11:19,157 same door we came in. 311 00:11:19,157 --> 00:11:21,851 Are you crying or having an allergy attack? 312 00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:24,156 Allergies. 313 00:11:24,156 --> 00:11:25,984 It’s probably the ammonia. 314 00:11:25,984 --> 00:11:27,507 Probably. (sniffles) 315 00:11:28,156 --> 00:11:30,539 Okay. Let the learning begin. 316 00:11:32,445 --> 00:11:33,745 (door opens) 317 00:11:37,324 --> 00:11:39,181 (exhales) 318 00:11:39,181 --> 00:11:40,481 (door shuts) 319 00:11:40,759 --> 00:11:44,361 All right, everybody, my name is Ms. MacElroy. 320 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,070 In addition to being your homeroom teacher, 321 00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:49,515 I’ll be seeing some of you in my English class, 322 00:11:49,516 --> 00:11:51,477 and some of you on the volleyball court. 323 00:11:51,773 --> 00:11:53,570 Just to give you a little history, 324 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:55,554 I’ve been here at Medford for 29 years... 325 00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:56,242 (mouthing) 326 00:11:56,242 --> 00:11:58,828 ...I taught some of your older brothers and sisters, 327 00:11:58,828 --> 00:12:00,641 and sadly, some of your parents. 328 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,883 Not much I haven’t seen. 329 00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:04,664 Until today. 330 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,922 I’m sure you’re well aware we have a student with us, 331 00:12:08,922 --> 00:12:11,157 who, despite his young age, 332 00:12:11,157 --> 00:12:13,376 is remarkably gifted. 333 00:12:13,376 --> 00:12:15,907 And I expect y’all to make him feel welcome. 334 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,057 Yes, Sheldon? 335 00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:21,190 Per the student dress and grooming code, 336 00:12:21,916 --> 00:12:24,156 this boy’s hair is too long, 337 00:12:24,156 --> 00:12:26,156 this boy is wearing sports attire 338 00:12:26,156 --> 00:12:27,156 outside of a designated area 339 00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:30,033 and this girl’s blouse is diaphanous, 340 00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:32,866 which means I can see her brassiere. 341 00:12:32,866 --> 00:12:35,033 (laughter) 342 00:12:32,866 --> 00:12:35,033 Thank you. 343 00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:36,324 I will take that into account. 344 00:12:36,324 --> 00:12:38,156 All right. 345 00:12:38,156 --> 00:12:40,156 We have a few minutes before first period. 346 00:12:40,156 --> 00:12:42,156 I need y’all to fill out these forms. 347 00:12:42,156 --> 00:12:43,156 What? 348 00:12:43,156 --> 00:12:44,491 Also in violation 349 00:12:44,491 --> 00:12:46,324 of the grooming code on page 48, 350 00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:48,658 article five, subsection B, 351 00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:51,156 you have a bit of a mustache. 352 00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:51,658 (laughter) 353 00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,156 This is a stupid idea. This boy does not 354 00:12:55,156 --> 00:12:56,578 belong in our school. 355 00:12:56,578 --> 00:12:58,156 PETERSEN: Come on Vicky, it’s just the first day. 356 00:12:58,156 --> 00:12:59,844 Why don’t we all just take a deep breath here? 357 00:12:59,844 --> 00:13:02,478 The hell with that. Five minutes into my math class, 358 00:13:02,478 --> 00:13:03,955 he questioned my credentials. 359 00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,978 How am I supposed to control a classroom when a kid accuses me 360 00:13:05,978 --> 00:13:07,665 of being in breach of the hygiene code? 361 00:13:07,665 --> 00:13:08,955 Well, Hubert, it wouldn’t kill you to shower 362 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,955 a little more often. George, you want to weigh in here? 363 00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:12,634 Well... 364 00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:14,470 INGRAM: Oral Roberts University 365 00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:15,454 is a wonderful school. 366 00:13:15,454 --> 00:13:17,329 He said I was intimidated by his intelligence, 367 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,712 and then, 368 00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:20,157 he offered to be my "leader." 369 00:13:21,732 --> 00:13:22,537 (clears throat) 370 00:13:22,537 --> 00:13:24,532 (playing Mozart’s Sonata in D) 371 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,665 (piano playing) 372 00:14:03,955 --> 00:14:05,832 (stops playing) 373 00:14:06,675 --> 00:14:08,300 Do you know this sonata? 374 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:08,995 No. 375 00:14:09,508 --> 00:14:11,222 How long have you played the piano? 376 00:14:12,441 --> 00:14:13,798 I don’t play piano. 377 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,698 PETERSEN: George, 378 00:14:16,698 --> 00:14:18,339 you got any thoughts here? 379 00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:19,339 I certainly do. 380 00:14:21,378 --> 00:14:22,378 Mary, tell him. 381 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,331 It’s simple. We don’t have a choice. 382 00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,128 Well, you gave it a shot. 383 00:14:27,128 --> 00:14:28,798 We wish you luck with Sheldon elsewhere... 384 00:14:28,798 --> 00:14:30,798 MARY: No, no, no. 385 00:14:30,798 --> 00:14:31,798 We don’t have a choice. 386 00:14:31,798 --> 00:14:33,673 He’s got to stay here. 387 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,306 We can’t afford private school. 388 00:14:35,306 --> 00:14:36,439 I sure can’t homeschool him. 389 00:14:36,439 --> 00:14:38,978 He’s doing calculus and Euclidean something or other. 390 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,517 Euclidean geometry. 391 00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:41,798 Guess where I learned that. 392 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,675 Yeah, yeah, we know. 393 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,267 All I care about is that my son get the education he deserves, 394 00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,110 so you all are gonna have to figure this out. 395 00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:52,401 Coach, can you help me out here, please? 396 00:14:52,401 --> 00:14:53,601 ’Cause I’m dyin’. 397 00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:58,346 I’d rather not. 398 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,235 G minor. 399 00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:06,594 F. 400 00:15:08,758 --> 00:15:09,758 E flat. 401 00:15:11,798 --> 00:15:12,798 C minor. 402 00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,189 You have perfect pitch. 403 00:15:17,798 --> 00:15:18,415 Okay. 404 00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:22,211 Sweetheart, you should really pursue music. 405 00:15:22,782 --> 00:15:25,016 No, thank you. Musicians take drugs. 406 00:15:26,337 --> 00:15:28,548 Is there a faculty restroom I could use? 407 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:31,446 (whistle blows) 408 00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:34,549 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 409 00:15:34,798 --> 00:15:35,798 (grunting) 410 00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:39,996 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 411 00:15:43,688 --> 00:15:45,133 Cooper, Stinson, you’re up. 412 00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:47,799 (laughs) Hey, look, it’s the dumb brother. 413 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,898 Okay. (blows whistle) 414 00:15:55,399 --> 00:15:56,829 (grunting, yelling) 415 00:15:56,829 --> 00:15:58,524 (whistle blowing) 416 00:15:58,524 --> 00:15:59,524 BERGDOFF: That’s enough. 417 00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,313 (yelling) 418 00:16:01,313 --> 00:16:02,229 (whistle blowing) 419 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,635 Hey, that’s enough! 420 00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:04,713 That’s enough! 421 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,506 Georgie. 422 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:07,798 Georgie! Georgie! 423 00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:09,221 Stop! Stop! 424 00:16:11,966 --> 00:16:13,166 The hell is wrong with you? 425 00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:19,086 You okay? 426 00:16:19,086 --> 00:16:20,750 No, I’m not okay. 427 00:16:30,102 --> 00:16:31,375 Where you think you’re going? 428 00:16:31,376 --> 00:16:33,423 I quit. I don’t want to play anymore! 429 00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:34,345 Since when? 430 00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:36,797 Since right now! 431 00:16:36,798 --> 00:16:38,141 All right, what is going on? 432 00:16:38,141 --> 00:16:39,539 What do you think’s going on?! 433 00:16:41,422 --> 00:16:42,522 You mean Sheldon? 434 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:46,922 You can’t let that bother you. 435 00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,258 It doesn’t bother you? 436 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,524 You got called to the principal’s office. 437 00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,618 Yeah, that wasn’t so great. 438 00:16:52,617 --> 00:16:54,250 I can’t be in the same school as him! 439 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,891 Well, I don’t see what choice you have. 440 00:16:55,891 --> 00:16:58,852 Right. Ever since he could talk, I quit having any choices. 441 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,148 (groans) 442 00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:07,719 I know it’s hard. 443 00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:12,438 I’m telling you, as your coach, quit your whining, 444 00:17:12,438 --> 00:17:14,798 get your uniform on and you get your ass back out there. 445 00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:17,446 But what about as my dad? 446 00:17:18,696 --> 00:17:20,071 Your dad is having a bad day. 447 00:17:20,575 --> 00:17:21,723 Listen to your coach. 448 00:17:27,973 --> 00:17:31,957 Can a clock be powered by an ordinary potato? 449 00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:34,328 I hope so, boys and girls, 450 00:17:34,328 --> 00:17:37,351 or this is going to be a really boring episode. 451 00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:39,204 The supplies you’ll need... 452 00:17:39,204 --> 00:17:41,204 Why can’t we watch DuckTales? 453 00:17:41,204 --> 00:17:44,806 ’Cause we don’t learn anything watching DuckTales. 454 00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:47,697 It’s TV; we aren’t supposed to learn. 455 00:17:47,697 --> 00:17:51,377 ...two alligator grips and, let’s see... 456 00:17:51,377 --> 00:17:53,104 Of course, a clock. 457 00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:55,870 Missy, go somewhere else. I need to talk to your brother. 458 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:58,214 Why don’t you go somewhere else and I can watch Duck... 459 00:17:58,214 --> 00:18:00,206 Go! 460 00:18:00,206 --> 00:18:01,347 I hate everybody. 461 00:18:01,823 --> 00:18:04,204 It’s time for science. 462 00:18:07,204 --> 00:18:10,524 Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato. 463 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,547 Not possible. 464 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:12,563 Now, listen... 465 00:18:12,563 --> 00:18:13,797 Am I in trouble? 466 00:18:13,798 --> 00:18:14,798 No. 467 00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:17,212 Maybe. Just listen. 468 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:21,454 You’re not gonna make it in this school 469 00:18:21,454 --> 00:18:23,004 if you keep ratting people out. 470 00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:24,856 But they were breaking the grooming codes 471 00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:26,204 and the dress codes. 472 00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:28,950 I saw one boy with a T-shirt that said... 473 00:18:29,805 --> 00:18:31,102 (whispering): "Bite me." 474 00:18:31,102 --> 00:18:34,071 Yeah. That-that’s terrible. 475 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,985 Sheldon, let me tell you a little story. 476 00:18:35,985 --> 00:18:38,633 Did you ever wonder why we moved from Galveston to Medford? 477 00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:41,915 No. I tend to wonder about the bigger questions. 478 00:18:41,915 --> 00:18:43,548 Okay, well, here’s why. 479 00:18:44,485 --> 00:18:46,665 Your dad had a real good coaching job 480 00:18:47,454 --> 00:18:49,767 and I saw some grown-ups breaking rules. 481 00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:50,650 What’d they do? 482 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,220 I-It’s kind of complicated, but... 483 00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:55,947 football coaches aren’t allowed to recruit kids 484 00:18:55,947 --> 00:18:57,427 from other high schools to play on their teams. 485 00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:58,700 And you told on them? 486 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,817 Yeah. You know what happened? 487 00:19:00,818 --> 00:19:03,259 Justice descended upon the rule breakers? 488 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,365 I got fired, Sheldon. 489 00:19:07,259 --> 00:19:08,693 And I got a bad reputation. 490 00:19:09,259 --> 00:19:12,150 Oh. That’s why you drink so much beer. 491 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,697 Just do yourself a favor. 492 00:19:17,697 --> 00:19:19,681 Okay? Go to school tomorrow, 493 00:19:19,681 --> 00:19:21,837 and mind your own business. 494 00:19:22,673 --> 00:19:23,673 All right? 495 00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:26,211 Dad. 496 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,914 Are you sad that you got fired? 497 00:19:32,978 --> 00:19:34,189 Mostly angry. 498 00:19:36,665 --> 00:19:37,665 But yeah. 499 00:19:39,673 --> 00:19:40,759 Maybe a little sad. 500 00:19:49,095 --> 00:19:50,414 All right, let’s say grace. 501 00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:56,961 Thank you, God, 502 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,252 for this food we are about to receive. 503 00:19:59,259 --> 00:20:01,259 (muffled praying continues) 504 00:20:08,128 --> 00:20:09,259 ADULT SHELDON: That was the first time 505 00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:10,824 I held my father’s hand. 506 00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:15,032 MARY: ...our bodies and bless the hands that prepared it. 507 00:20:15,032 --> 00:20:15,821 Amen. 508 00:20:15,821 --> 00:20:16,618 GEORGIE: Amen. 509 00:20:16,618 --> 00:20:17,418 MISSY: Amen. 510 00:20:20,282 --> 00:20:23,735 MARY: Hey, George Jr., wait your turn. 511 00:20:23,735 --> 00:20:25,454 ADULT SHELDON: I wouldn’t touch my brother’s hand 512 00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:27,470 until 17 years later, 513 00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,368 thanks to the invention of Purell. 514 00:20:47,573 --> 00:20:49,182 You know what I find comforting? 515 00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,440 What’s that, baby? 516 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,549 In a world filled with uncertainty, 517 00:20:52,549 --> 00:20:53,979 this place will be here forever. 518 00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,573 CLERK: Hey, Sheldon, how you doing? 519 00:20:59,956 --> 00:21:02,289 Synced and corrected by matheus179