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Previously onYoung Sheldon...Billy!

2
00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,570
Mr. Cooper is here.

3
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How you doing?

4
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,098
Do not look under that rock.

5
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But I appreciate you asking.

6
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Hey, you got rejected.

7
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But was it the end of the world?

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No.

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And that is
extremely valuable information.

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And honestly...

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you dodged a bullet with Missy.

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The girl is mean.

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Thanks.

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[indistinct chatter, clamoring]

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WOMAN:
Come on, Missy!

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Hey.Hey!

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Came to see your man be
a leader of little people, huh?

18
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I came to see
my granddaughter pitch.

19
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Yeah, under
my leadership.

20
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All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.

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00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,571
Come on, girl!

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Come on, shake it off!

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You got this.

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What the hell was that?

25
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Well, there's
some leadership.

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DALE:Time!

27
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Cooper!

28
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Time!

29
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Cooper, what is the problem?

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The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.

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I saw that.

32
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What am I doing wrong?

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Just a little case of the yips.

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It happens.What's that?

35
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The yips-- you know,
it's when you're thinking

36
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about stuff in your head

37
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and something you've
done a million times,

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you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.

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How do I get rid of it?

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Uh, just don't think about it.

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Okay.

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[sighs]

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Don't think, just throw.

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[crowd clamoring]

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I hate the little people.

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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

48
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♪ I bet I could be your hero

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♪ I am a mighty little man

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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

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[engine sputtering]

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BRENDA:
Damn it!

53
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Brenda?

54
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What?

55
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,449
Everything okay over there?

56
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Oh, yeah.

57
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Okay.

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[engine sputtering]

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Damn it!

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Okay, give her a go.

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[engine starts]

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You're a lifesaver.

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It's a gift.

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Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?

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Weren't you
on your way somewhere?

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Weight Watchers.

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[laughs]

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What do you say?

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Eh, sure.

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Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?

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Yeah, but they're all fat.

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[laughs]

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ADULT SHELDON:
Of all the tests
one takes in school,

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my favorite was the midterm.

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Finals weren't bad,

76
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but they also meant
summer was approaching.

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I don't believe in religion,
but sunshine,

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picnics and pool parties

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are proof hell exists.

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[nearby thud]

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[door thuds]

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Aah!

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Why are you trying to hit me?

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I'm trying to hit the target.

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It's over there.

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I know, dingus.

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I thought you were good at this.

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I was.

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Coach Dale says I have the yips.

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It's not contagious, is it?

91
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,834
No, it happens in sports.

92
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Suddenly you can't do a thing
that used to be easy.

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It doesn't sound real.

94
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Then why can't I pitch anymore?

95
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Ooh, perhaps
it's the onset of puberty

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and the hysterical mood swings
that go with it.

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Dingus, house.

98
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You're only proving my point.

99
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,810
What, Billy won an award?

100
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Participation.

101
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Big whoop.

102
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I guess it's something.

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Well, he ain't
the sharpest pencil in the box,

104
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but he's the sweetest kid
I know.

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Well, Sheldon is
the sharpest pencil.

106
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,606
Sometimes I'd just like

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to shove his head in that box.

108
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[chuckles]Where's your trash?

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Everywhere.

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But the basket's under the sink.Mm.

111
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[exhales]

112
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You know your faucet's leaking?

113
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Yep, this whole place is
falling apart.

114
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,971
Well...

115
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I'll come over another time,
and take care of it.Oh.

116
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You know, you don't
have to do that.

117
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One more?

118
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I should get going.

119
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Well, thanks again.

120
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Want to buy a house?

121
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[door opens]

122
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Hey,
where you been?

123
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Ah, Brenda was having
car trouble.

124
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Just giving her hand.That's nice.

125
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I'm sure it's hard
being by herself.

126
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Yeah.

127
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That whole house is
in need of repair.

128
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I hope you offered
to help her out.

129
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I did... she said no.

130
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Well, that's
just her being proud.

131
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Of course she wants your help.

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[stammers]
I guess some time I'll pop over.

133
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Good.

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And when you go,
hitch up your pants.

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There's a lot going on
when you squat.

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LINKLETTER:
All right.

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You have 45 minutes to complete

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the test,
eyes on your own paper and...

139
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Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.

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And...

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begin!

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ADULT SHELDON:
And I was off.

143
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I flew through wave functions.

144
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,120
I dominated
harmonic oscillators.

145
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,122
The only challenging part
of this exam

146
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was trying to balance
the desire to finish quickly

147
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with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.

148
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Mmm.

149
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,305
I was in the zone.

150
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,046
Only one question left.

151
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,308
All I needed to do

152
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,266
was solve Schrodinger's equation

153
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,704
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes

154
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,880
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...

155
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,623
Wait, what are they?

156
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,189
Come on, you know this.

157
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,235
You've done it a million times.

158
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Oh, dear.

159
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,075
All right, Sheldon,
time to turn in your test.

160
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,293
I'm not done yet.

161
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,383
[sighs]
I know you like to add

162
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,515
your own "better questions"
at the end,

163
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,299
but for the last time,
I don't count them.

164
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,954
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.

165
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,434
That's an easy one.

166
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,044
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.

167
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,698
I know what I have to do.

168
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,221
Is this is a tantrum?

169
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:37,962
I've heard children your age
like to throw them.

170
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,877
I can't remember what the zeroes

171
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,705
of the Bessel function are.

172
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:42,880
You didn't memorize them?

173
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,100
Of course I did--
October 7, 1988.

174
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I had just had
a bowl of Teddy Grahams.

175
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,277
Then what's the problem?

176
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I'm blanking, but I'll get it.

177
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,847
Sorry, son, class is over.

178
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,283
No, I can do this.

179
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It's just one question.
You'll still pass.

180
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,635
Sheldon Cooper doesn't
"just pass."

181
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I have an idea.

182
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Let me see the test.

183
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,248
Thank you.

184
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,468
Sheldon Cooper isn't always

185
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,078
that gullible.He was today.

186
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,217
All right, almost there.

187
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,437
Hand me
a screwdriver.

188
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,177
Don't stick this
in an outlet.

189
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,527
It really tingles.

190
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,617
We had an incident.Yeah.

191
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,054
You know what?

192
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,316
Why don't you fix it?

193
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,709
BOTH:
Really?Yeah, you see

194
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:29,710
that little screw there?

195
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,102
Just go ahead
and tighten her up.

196
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,191
Like this?
Yep.

197
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BILLY:
What now?

198
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,761
Uh, run outside
and turn the water back on.

199
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Here, I'm not allowed
to run with this.

200
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:43,027
We've had a lot of incidents.

201
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,596
Who knew you were so handy?Yeah.

202
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,816
There's just things
guys need to be good at.

203
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,818
What else you good at?

204
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,516
[water sputters]

205
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,213
I should go.

206
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,088
[door closes]

207
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,003
Hey, pretty lady.

208
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,309
Are you drinking already?[laughs] No!

209
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,008
Can't a guy give
his wife a compliment?

210
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,662
Do I have to smell your breath?

211
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,272
How about a kiss instead?

212
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:11,665
What is with you?

213
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,188
Well, I don't know.

214
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,320
Kids aren't home.

215
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,019
Now? I'm doing laundry.

216
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:19,455
Laundry can wait.

217
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,848
So can your thing.

218
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,458
I like to think of it
as ourthing,

219
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,548
but if you only have time
for my thing, that's fine, too.

220
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,463
You're being weird.

221
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,247
Weird sexy?

222
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,379
No.

223
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,424
Headed to the bedroom?No!

224
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,688
Just checking.

225
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,820
[sighs]

226
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,909
SHELDON:
Missy!

227
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,129
You gave me your yips.

228
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,522
What?

229
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,132
I froze on a test.
That's never happened before.

230
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,394
It's all your fault.

231
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,917
I told you it's not contagious.

232
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,223
You put the thought in my head.

233
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,833
The power of suggestion is
very real.

234
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,922
Case in point: tulip mania.

235
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,881
Here we go.Tulip mania

236
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,665
was an insane desire
to buy and trade

237
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,188
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.

238
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,973
It nearly ruined
the Dutch economy.

239
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,931
You would not believe
the gilders they were spending.

240
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,672
How can you remember
this stupid information,

241
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,369
but not the stuff on your test?

242
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,719
You tell me, they're your yips.

243
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,590
Sheldon, if I knew
how to make it stop,

244
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,939
I would tell you.

245
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,637
You better.

246
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,335
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.

247
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,598
I checked my armpits--
smooth as balloons.

248
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,513
[groans]

249
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,864
Hey.[groans]

250
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,040
What's your problem?

251
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,520
I don't want to talk about it.

252
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,696
Great.I had a mental block

253
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,176
on a test
and it was something that

254
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,656
I absolutely know how to do.

255
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,962
Oh, you know, that sort of thing
happens in sports, too.

256
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,311
I know. It's called the yips,

257
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,443
and it's a very silly name

258
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,836
for a very serious problem.

259
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,664
Well, you know,
the best thing to do

260
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,535
is get out of your head.

261
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,406
How do I do that?

262
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,017
Just turn your brain off.

263
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,454
It's like I'm not even your son.

264
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,934
[sighs]
Look.

265
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,849
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.

266
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,285
Maybe you do know me.

267
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:53,070
But this is a thing
I actually know about.

268
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,116
I've seen it happen
to my players.

269
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,031
I've seen it happen
to pros in golf.

270
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,510
In baseball.

271
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,034
The answer is always the same.

272
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,689
Stop thinking and
get out of your own way.

273
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,169
I don't know how to do that.

274
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,912
Have you ever heard
the Nike slogan "Just do it"?

275
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,740
I'm familiar with the phrase
"let's do it,"

276
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,699
uttered by Gary Gilmore,
the last person

277
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,440
to be executed
by firing squad in America.

278
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:19,706
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.

279
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,099
And it's good advice.

280
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,971
The answer is already
in your head.

281
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,537
Don't think so hard.

282
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,148
Just do it.

283
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,759
I'll try.

284
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,413
Good man.

285
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,416
Another fun footwear slogan is
"I'm Buster Brown.

286
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,679
"I live in a shoe.
That's my dog Tige.

287
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,115
Look for him there, too."

288
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,161
Mm, I think mine is
more helpful.

289
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,989
Well, mine rhymes, so...

290
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,124
ADULT SHELDON:
I decided to heed
my father's advice.

291
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,649
I wasn't sure
how to turn off my brain.

292
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:52,347
Thankfully,
I lived with an expert.

293
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,436
What's up?

294
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:57,004
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.

295
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,701
Well, I'm asking you
to think about it.

296
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,138
But I thought you were
interested in notthinking.

297
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,792
I am. I want you
to think about not thinking,

298
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,141
and then teach me how to do it.

299
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,316
Do what?

300
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,448
Not think.

301
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,537
All right.

302
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,584
This is tough.

303
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,935
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think

304
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,893
I can teach you how to not think
without thinking.

305
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,243
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

306
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,810
Hold on!
What if you're thinking

307
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,290
about something else instead?

308
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,292
Would that count as thinking
or not thinking?

309
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,424
I suppose
it's similar to the mantras

310
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,339
extolled
by the sages of the east.

311
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,254
It's a practice
that Swami Vivekananda

312
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,343
called Japa Yoga
and it's intended to bring out

313
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:35,129
a single-pointedness
of concentration.

314
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,306
Sorry, I zoned out.

315
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,525
Ooh, tell me how.Let's see.

316
00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:41,657
You were blabbering.

317
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,528
It all started to blur together.

318
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,878
And I was gone.

319
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,270
At what point
did it start to happen?

320
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,011
I don't know.
Say it again.

321
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,012
I said I suppose

322
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,405
it's similar to the mantras

323
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,276
extolled
by the sages of the east.

324
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,497
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...

325
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,021
♪

326
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,508
That is wild.

327
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,386
ADULT SHELDON:
The next day, armed
with the sage advice

328
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,780
of my father, my brother,

329
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,609
and an executed murderer, I was
allowed to retake the test.

330
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,655
You have 45 minutes
starting now.

331
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,136
SHELDON:
Okay, just do it.

332
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,485
Just do it.

333
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,313
Just turn your brain off
and do it.

334
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,794
Is it off? Am I doing it?

335
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,362
Wait, if I'm thinking it's off,
then it must still be on.

336
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,017
I'm trying too hard.
Don't overthink, just do it.

337
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,802
Just do it, just--

338
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,935
Time's up.

339
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,067
But I didn't do it.

340
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,416
Waste my morning?

341
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,504
You did it.

342
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,724
That toilet won't stop running.

343
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,639
Have you tried
jiggling the handle?

344
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,075
I jiggled it, wiggled it.

345
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,555
Damn near had a baby with it.

346
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,165
[chuckles]
Yeah, let me take a look.

347
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,777
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.

348
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,127
I don't want to put you out.

349
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,781
It's just frozen lasagna.

350
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,740
But I'm going oven
instead of microwave,

351
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,437
'cause you're company.
[chuckles]

352
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,439
What are you doing?

353
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,658
What do you mean?

354
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,965
[scoffs]
You know what I mean.

355
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,838
I was just trying to thank you.

356
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,622
And you're the one
who offered

357
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,233
to come over here
and fix things.

358
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,495
I was being nice.

359
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,583
So was I.

360
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,237
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.

361
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,239
There is no pleasing you.

362
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,370
Well, I don't need this here.

363
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,458
I can get fighting at my house.

364
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,459
Then maybe you should go back

365
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:29,852
to your house.

366
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,463
BILLY:
Mom, can you help
with my homework?

367
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,901
There in a sec.

368
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,772
You leaving?

369
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,208
You gonna fix the toilet?

370
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,862
No.Then I guess I'm not leaving.

371
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,211
Thank you. Lasagna?

372
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,909
Small piece.
Mary's making tacos.

373
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,606
Okay.

374
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,521
ADULT SHELDON:
Trying to outsmart
my own thought patterns

375
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,957
proved to be challenging.

376
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:51,265
It's understandable,
as smart as I was,

377
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,136
I was also that smart.

378
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,836
I wondered if I could invent
a mind control device,

379
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,839
but that sounded
a little too "mwah-ha-ha"

380
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,449
even for me.
It turned out

381
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,277
the device I was looking for

382
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,888
had been in my presence
the entire time.

383
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,934
Television.
It had been tranquilizing

384
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,284
the minds of America's
youth for generations,

385
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,286
and it was just what I needed.

386
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,940
MAN:
Lift off.

387
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,767
Too interesting.

388
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,118
Too violent.

389
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,510
[indistinct TV chatter]

390
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,861
[chuckles] I don't think so.

391
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,125
Now, then, let's build us
a little cloud.

392
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,301
Clouds are very free.

393
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,259
Very, very free.

394
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,652
Tell you what. If you...

395
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,262
That was so much fun,
let's get crazy...

396
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,265
Who's this bohemian?

397
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,832
PETERSON:
If you could have

398
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,443
any job in the high school,
what would it be?

399
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,924
[laughs]
I don't know, why?

400
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,144
Sometimes I look
at the janitor

401
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,015
pushing around
that buffing machine.

402
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,148
That thing looks like a blast.

403
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,411
He doesn't wear a tie.

404
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,543
No fights
with the school board.

405
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:56,852
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.

406
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,812
Hello? Am I boring you?

407
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:01,857
Sorry.

408
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,206
I'm a little distracted.

409
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,208
Trouble at home?

410
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,950
Something like that.
Mm.

411
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,386
You want to talk about it?

412
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,302
No.

413
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,435
Tell me about your
fun bachelor life.

414
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,524
Well, as of last week,
I officially

415
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,005
tasted every Campbell's soup.

416
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,702
[laughing]:
Come on, Tom.

417
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,530
I'm trying to live
vicariously here.

418
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,097
There's got to be
something good.

419
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,100
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.

420
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,710
Now we're getting
somewhere.

421
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:32,018
Spend my money
on whatever I want.
Mm.

422
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,933
What was the last
thing you got?

423
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,718
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.

424
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,982
I ate a bucket of chicken
and watched it in my underwear.

425
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,549
You lucky bastard.

426
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:42,942
Uh-huh.
[chuckles]

427
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900
What about women?

428
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,033
[sighs]
Honestly...

429
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,731
it's tough to meet people
at this age.

430
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:52,168
No, come on, charming
fella like you?

431
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,256
[scoffs]

432
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,518
Sadly, this is
the best night out

433
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,303
I've had in a long time.

434
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,653
Yeah. Me, too.

435
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,570
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.

436
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,789
[country song playing softly]

437
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,097
Yeah, I'll think about.

438
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,014
You ever eat chicken
in your underwear?

439
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,102
What do you think?

440
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,235
Yes.Yes.

441
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,801
BOB ROSS: Making
a gorgeous little mountain.

442
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,281
Ooh.

443
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,414
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.

444
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,894
I didn't know
Richard Simmons can paint.

445
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,418
His name's Bob Ross.

446
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,115
And he's oddly hypnotic.

447
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,508
You're gonna paint?

448
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,162
No, I just like watching him.

449
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,859
I can't explain it,
but his voice

450
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,514
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.

451
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,646
Let's get crazy and, once again,

452
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,084
just pull it out, just like
we did the other one.

453
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,520
Yawn.

454
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,784
Barely touch, whisper.

455
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,786
Just whisper light.

456
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,266
Let it go.

457
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,442
Let it go, no pressure.

458
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,966
ADULT SHELDON:
The yips are a cruel mistress.

459
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,274
But thanks to a magical man
with a halo of curls,

460
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:58,017
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.

461
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:02,282
Instead of freezing up,
I thought about happy integers.

462
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,806
Fluffy little formulas

463
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,026
and a sweet Bessel function
that just wants me

464
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,070
to do my very best.

465
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,419
Done.

466
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,855
Great, I can still make
my doubles match.

467
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,379
Get out.

468
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:21,562
[crowd groaning][sighs]
Damn it.

469
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,999
Hold it.
Time, time, time.UMPIRE: Time!

470
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,001
I don't know
what I'm doing wrong.

471
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,872
Ah, don't worry about it.
It's not your fault.

472
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,352
It isn't?No, I'm the one

473
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:32,007
that let a girl pitch.
It's my mistake.

474
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,575
What? I've won so many games.

475
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:35,750
Oh, that was then.

476
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,360
Why are you being so mean?

477
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:40,102
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?

478
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,235
Maybe you ought to be
a cheerleader.

479
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,106
You trying to make me mad?

480
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,847
Is it working?
Yeah.

481
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,066
Well, I tell you what,

482
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,372
picture my face
in the catcher's mitt.

483
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,373
What?

484
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,853
Do I have to dumb it down
for you?

485
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,029
Just do what I tell you.

486
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,552
[sighs]

487
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:59,208
[spectators calling out]

488
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,385
[grunts]

489
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,344
Strike!Yes!

490
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,564
Aw, don't get all hysterical,
little girl!

491
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,262
You suck!

492
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,089
You suck!

493
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,221
No! You suck!

494
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,093
Strike!

495
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,227
I am the leader
of the little people.