1 00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,502 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,637 A secret casino room? 3 00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:06,539 The cops shut me down. 4 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,007 Let's get this going again. 5 00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,209 (slot machines whirring) 6 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,343 How we doing? 7 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,745 There's a problem with the cashbox. 8 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:12,645 Oh, what's that? 9 00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,647 Can't get it to close. 10 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,649 That is my kind of problem. 11 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,588 ADULT SHELDON: Let's talk about the glory of meetings. 12 00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:24,557 What's not to love? Agendas, detailed minutes, 13 00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:27,293 and if you're lucky, they begin and end 14 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,129 with the soothing sound of discipline and rules. 15 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,663 Ah. 16 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:32,699 You can imagine my frustration 17 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,335 when I found out East Texas Tech 18 00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:38,471 had faculty meetings that I was not allowed to attend. 19 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,672 Excuse me. 20 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,672 Not that I didn't try. 21 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:42,041 Goodbye, Sheldon. 22 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:42,041 SHELDON: Darn it. 23 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,478 (quiet chatter) 24 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:47,647 Sheldon, out. 25 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,416 Aw. 26 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:51,618 (quiet chatter) 27 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:57,724 Sorry, I thought you were an irritating young man 28 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,426 that won't leave me alone. 29 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,161 SHELDON: That's rude. 30 00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:02,796 Out. 31 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,364 So, how was it? 32 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,665 Did any subcommittees get formed? 33 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,268 No, Sheldon, it was just a budget meeting. 34 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,836 Ooh, budgets, do tell. 35 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,505 Most of it was about reducing the gen-ed science requirement 36 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,107 from eight credits to four. 37 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,409 But that's less science classes. Who would want that? 38 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:20,313 Apparently the administration, the students and their parents. 39 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,848 Did anyone try to stop it? 40 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,848 No. 41 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,517 Did it spark a heated debate? 42 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,517 Not really, no. 43 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,352 Were you at least annoyed? 44 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,188 Do I sound annoyed? 45 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,188 Yes. 46 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,256 Well, there you go. 47 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,256 Hmm. 48 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,359 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 49 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,095 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 50 00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,631 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 51 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,834 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 52 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:45,605 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 53 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,844 I can't believe the faculty is okay with this. 54 00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:53,546 It just means students who aren't science majors 55 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,115 need to take one class instead of two. 56 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:56,950 But that's 50% less. 57 00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,551 Sheldon, this doesn't affect you. 58 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,386 Less science affects all of society. 59 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,688 And in case you haven't noticed, 60 00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:03,323 I'm good at making things all about me. 61 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,791 Yes, I have picked up on that. 62 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,293 Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it. 63 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,863 I understand. You're just a cog in the machine. 64 00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:11,664 In fact, why am I talking to you? 65 00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,733 Feel free to stop. 66 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,439 I thought you'd be at work. 67 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,307 I work nights this week. 68 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,576 Oh, I didn't realize the Laundromat was open late. 69 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,278 I did that. 70 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,413 People work during the day, it seemed like an untapped market. 71 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,915 Smart. You know, 72 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,783 if you want to advertise your new hours, 73 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,353 you could take out an ad in the church bulletin. 74 00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:34,821 That ain't a bad idea. 75 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,557 Maybe I'm where you get it from. 76 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,693 Oh! It could say something like, 77 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,795 "Jesus washes away your sins, 78 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,330 and we'll wash away your stains." 79 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,933 (chuckles): Wow! You are really good at this. 80 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,868 (laughs) 81 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:50,837 SHELDON: And do you 82 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,171 really want to be the president 83 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,740 of a university that is responsible 84 00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,208 for the dumbing down 85 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,442 of scientific discourse on this campus? 86 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,478 I totally agree with you. 87 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,179 You do? 88 00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:00,947 Oh, it's an outrage. 89 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,682 I came here to make this school 90 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,617 the Harvard of East Texas. 91 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,252 Not the... 92 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,221 Wh-What's your least favorite school? 93 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,455 MIT. 94 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,292 Not the MIT of East Texas. 95 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,626 Nice dig at MIT. 96 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,261 (chuckles): Well, they deserve it. 97 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,463 So, you're gonna keep the science requirements the same? 98 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,499 If it were up to me, yes. 99 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:20,900 But you're the president. 100 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,369 Everyone has a boss, Sheldon. 101 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:26,739 Now, unfortunately, I have to answer to the... 102 00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:28,575 grand chancellor. 103 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,643 Oh. I've never heard of him. 104 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,379 Oh, well, he definitely exists. 105 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:34,747 Perhaps I should speak with him. 106 00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:37,917 I appreciate that, but this is my fight-- 107 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,219 win or lose-- and I'll probably lose, 108 00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:43,790 but I am gonna go down swinging, I promise you that. 109 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:45,925 Can I help? 110 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,260 Absolutely. 111 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,661 I need you to put together 112 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,597 a report backing up our position. 113 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:52,465 Charts, graphs-- the whole shebang. 114 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,733 Hmm. 115 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,401 Charts and graphs of what? 116 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,603 (stammers) 117 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:58,438 Am I helping you or are you helping me? 118 00:03:58,504 --> 00:03:59,505 Uh, of course. 119 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,540 I'll figure it out. 120 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:01,708 I know you will. 121 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:02,942 Okay, now, 122 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,377 get out of here. 123 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,445 You have a lot of work to do. 124 00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:06,913 Yes, ma'am. 125 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,949 (sighs) 126 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,949 (door opens) 127 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,584 (door closes) 128 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,319 Kid makes me thirsty. 129 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,757 (coughing) 130 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:25,565 Maybe we take a little break and let this one dry out. 131 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,634 You don't have to ask me twice. 132 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,569 (coughing) 133 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,771 Do you ever think about quitting? 134 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:32,839 This job? Yeah. 135 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,340 Since when did we start 136 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:37,043 advertising gambling rooms? 137 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,344 What? It's a Laundromat. 138 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:43,282 Yeah, and the massage parlor off the freeway is for stiff necks. 139 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:46,285 (scoffs) Well, that is a legitimate business. 140 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,755 My mother owns it, my son works there. 141 00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:50,323 If you say so. 142 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:51,924 I do say so. 143 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:52,925 Fine. 144 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,661 It's true. 145 00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:55,895 I'd say, "Want to bet," 146 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,697 but I lost 40 bucks last night 147 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,566 at your mom's "legitimate business." 148 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,836 Are you running a gambling room in the back of the Laundromat? 149 00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:05,772 What? No. 150 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,807 Peg says she was there last night. 151 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,410 Oh, "gambling room." 152 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:11,711 Yeah. 153 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,552 What are you thinking? 154 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,421 You know gambling is illegal. 155 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,090 Why do you care how people spend their money? 156 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,793 Gambling destroys lives. 157 00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:28,628 That's what you say about booze. 158 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,697 I think it's an excellent pairing. 159 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:34,634 Wait, does Georgie know about all of this? 160 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,804 Um... 161 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,804 Oh, my Lord. 162 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,706 It's okay, I'm looking after for him. 163 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,507 What if the police show up? 164 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,376 Don't you worry about them. 165 00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,610 We got an understanding. 166 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,645 What does that mean? 167 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,713 I'd explain it to you, 168 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:47,914 but you wouldn't understand. 169 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,916 You are unbelievable. 170 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,085 It is bad enough for you to do all this stuff, 171 00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:55,054 but then to drag Georgie down into your den of sin. 172 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:58,024 Oh, please, it's not a den of sin. 173 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,059 Although that is a great name. 174 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,729 Den of Sin. 175 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,630 That would get some butts in seats. 176 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,399 (exclaims) 177 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,036 The chancellor said no? Did he even look at my report? 178 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:14,140 He did, he was impressed, but it didn't change his mind. 179 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,142 After all our hard work. 180 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,044 I know. Bummer. 181 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,979 But hey, we gave it our best shot, 182 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,848 so time to move on, right? 183 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,149 Absolutely not. 184 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,519 Are you sure? 'Cause it feels like time to me. 185 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:27,820 We have to keep fighting. 186 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,522 If Antonie van Leeuwenhoek had given up, 187 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:30,890 where would we be? 188 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:32,759 Where would we be? 189 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,060 In a world without microscopes. 190 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,395 Because that guy invented them? 191 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,765 Boy, did he. At least the first modern microscope. 192 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:40,166 He's known as the father of microbiology. 193 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,801 I have a good book on him I could loan you. 194 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,035 Anyway, we can't give up. 195 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,904 Hey, you are preaching to the choir, 196 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,106 but... (scoffs) I mean, what can we do? 197 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:48,908 I could write to some science luminaries, 198 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,076 try get them on our side. 199 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,778 Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan. 200 00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,679 Not Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. He's dead. 201 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,515 All right, but just on the off chance 202 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,984 that they're too busy to reply, 203 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,153 I think that you should get out there on campus, 204 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,488 talk to students, change their minds. 205 00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,158 One-on-one? That could take months. 206 00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:06,559 Great. 207 00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,461 ALEX TREBEK: Animated films. 208 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:09,896 Frog anatomy. 209 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:12,999 The Bible. 210 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:12,999 Why are you watching Jeopardy? 211 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,802 Sheldon's not the only one who likes to learn stuff. 212 00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,570 You don't know where the remote is. 213 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,572 It's right here. 214 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:20,773 It's just out of batteries. 215 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,074 Want me to get some? 216 00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,410 Hurry, I hate this show. 217 00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,410 (door opens, closes) 218 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:26,813 Is Georgie here? 219 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,548 No, I think he's still at work. 220 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,851 Do you know that that Laundromat is just a front for gambling? 221 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:32,852 MISSY: Cool. 222 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,220 Missy Cooper, 223 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,756 that was not for your ears. Go to your room. 224 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,158 So, what's this all about? 225 00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:42,094 My mother is running a gambling room 226 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,796 out of the back of the Laundromat, 227 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,832 and she has Georgie helping her. 228 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,733 They never invited me. 229 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:48,935 George. 230 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,236 We have to get him out of there. 231 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,538 Mary, we told him not to drop out of school, 232 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:53,873 he dropped out of school. 233 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,576 Told him he couldn't have girls in the garage, 234 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,044 he has girls in the garage. 235 00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,879 He does? 236 00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,879 MISSY: So many. 237 00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,113 (scoffs) Missy! 238 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,615 I'm in my room. 239 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:03,883 Well, close the door. 240 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,652 (door creaks slowly) 241 00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:07,854 All the way. 242 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,121 (door closes) 243 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:09,789 The point is, 244 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,524 he didn't listen to us then, 245 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:12,625 he's not gonna listen now. 246 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:13,893 So, we do nothing? 247 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,628 We let him make his own mistakes. 248 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:18,598 That just sounds like another way of saying we do nothing. 249 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,966 I'm gonna go down there. 250 00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:22,268 And that's a mistake I'm gonna let you make. 251 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:24,737 (sighs) 252 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,772 (TV continues indistinctly) 253 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,741 Missy! Batteries! 254 00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,177 ADULT SHELDON: President Hagemeyer was counting on me 255 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:34,080 to turn the tide of public opinion 256 00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:35,548 and ignite the outrage of my fellow students. 257 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,117 Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition? 258 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,652 It's about the university reducing 259 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:40,853 our science requirements. 260 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,088 (chuckles): Less science? Sweet. 261 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:43,556 No, it's to stop the reduction 262 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,259 and keep our science curriculum strong. 263 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:49,562 Are you hurrying off to tell your friends? 264 00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:55,835 "Ben Dover." 265 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,136 Thanks, Ben. 266 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,272 No. 267 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,272 Nuh-uh. 268 00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,040 Nope. 269 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:05,111 Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition about keeping 270 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,280 our science requirements strong? 271 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,280 Of course. 272 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:08,547 If you'll sign mine 273 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:09,849 to increase funding 274 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,584 for the school jazz band. 275 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,252 Let's pretend we never met. 276 00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:15,922 ADULT SHELDON: I needed a new plan. 277 00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:17,924 One where I could reach the masses. 278 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,825 The front page of the campus newspaper 279 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,327 was my best course of action. 280 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,597 I deployed every weapon in my literary arsenal. 281 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:25,831 Humor. 282 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:26,832 So funny. 283 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,668 Gravitas. 284 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:29,669 So moving. 285 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:30,937 Fearmongering. 286 00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:31,938 So scary. 287 00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,873 And last but not least, 288 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,341 heartfelt emotion. 289 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,177 Eh, not where I shine. I'll end on fear. 290 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:41,747 (music playing faintly on radio) 291 00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:44,150 (quiet chatter) 292 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,320 Excuse me, if I had an exposé 293 00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:49,889 that's going to rip the lid off this university's leadership 294 00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,958 and shine a light on its rotten core, 295 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:52,959 who would I turn that in to? 296 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,093 You can give it to me. 297 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,795 I'd feel more comfortable giving it 298 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,964 to someone who's less likely to roll it up and smoke it. 299 00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,700 Well, I'm the editor, so it's me or nothing. 300 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,934 Very well. 301 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,337 I'm handing you the scoop of a lifetime. 302 00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:05,304 Okay. 303 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:08,908 As your people say, I think you'll dig it. 304 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,979 Georgie. 305 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:14,847 Hey, what are you doing here? 306 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,084 I know about the room in the back. 307 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:21,354 Do you know whether or not I know? 308 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,388 Yes. 309 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,389 Okay, that's gonna 310 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,390 save us a lot of time. 311 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,758 It is not okay. 312 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,093 You are quitting right now. 313 00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:28,327 Why would I do that? 314 00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:31,831 Because I am your mother, and it is wrong. 315 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:34,967 Well, I'm working for your mother, and she says it's okay. 316 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,169 And I answer to a higher power, 317 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:39,205 and He says it's also wrong, so I win, let's go. 318 00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:41,273 Mom, please don't make a big deal out of this. 319 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,943 Oh, so there is an illegal gambling room 320 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,411 in the back, and it's no big deal? 321 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,013 There's a gambling room back there? 322 00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:48,881 And there is a church two blocks down, 323 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,282 so maybe try that. 324 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,651 Just go around to the alley. The password is "dryer sheet." 325 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,688 This is not a joke. 326 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,023 I'm worried about your soul. 327 00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:58,958 I'm not gambling. No one's getting hurt. 328 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:02,862 Georgie, I know you think that, but this does hurt people. 329 00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,797 It's not my business what people do with their money. 330 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,133 And it ain't your business, either, so butt out. 331 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,238 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, 332 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:15,007 I got to campus early to get a copy of my article, 333 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,675 hot off the presses. 334 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,045 Normally, I don't like getting newspaper ink 335 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,380 on my hands, but this was worth it. 336 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,051 Plus, I had Wet-Naps. 337 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:27,953 Where's my exposé? 338 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,289 I didn't run it. 339 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,289 What? Why? 340 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,258 You're blaming this whole thing on a grand chancellor. 341 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,859 There's no such person. 342 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,295 Of course there is. He's President Hagemeyer's boss. 343 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,364 She doesn't have a boss. She's the president. 344 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,099 Yes, she does, and we've been trying to fight him, 345 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,834 but he won't budge. 346 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,270 The grand chancellor? 347 00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:46,739 Well, when you say it like that it sounds made-up. 348 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:48,874 How would you say it? 349 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:50,309 The grand chancellor. 350 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,145 I've been had. 351 00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,187 Mm-hmm. Oh. 352 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:02,755 Not now, I'm on the phone. 353 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,490 Oh, are you talking to the grand chancellor? 354 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,992 Who I know doesn't exist, just like your integrity. 355 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,127 Uh, I'll-I'll call you back. 356 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,361 Don't believe her! 357 00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,397 You can't just barge into my office. 358 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,099 And you can't just lie to my face. 359 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,233 I can and I did. 360 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,334 Well, I'm going to start 361 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,169 calling you President Hage-liar, 362 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,370 and I think it'll to catch on 363 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:20,239 because it's both true and clever. 364 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,408 Look, I know you're upset, but you left me no choice. 365 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,044 I knew you'd be a pain in the ass about these cuts. 366 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,278 Language, and also, these cuts 367 00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,114 are detrimental on so many levels. 368 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,448 Not to the university. 369 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:30,549 Look... (sighs) 370 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,419 My job means sometimes making very hard decisions. 371 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,087 Now, I'm sorry that I lied to you, 372 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,523 and-and if it helps, I didn't enjoy it. 373 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,892 Yes, you did. 374 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,892 (chuckles): Yes, I did. 375 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,961 I mean, grand chancellor? (snorts) 376 00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:43,129 I really pulled that one out of my... 377 00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,331 Ah-ah. 378 00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,331 ...bottom. 379 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:47,933 Well, I can lie about things, too. 380 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,803 Did I knock your papers on the floor? 381 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,973 No, I didn't. 382 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,908 Did I move your stapler? 383 00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:56,976 No, I didn't. 384 00:12:57,042 --> 00:13:00,212 Ooh, did I break your pencil? 385 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,948 (grunts) 386 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,483 Yes, I did. 387 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:07,820 Hey, Mary. 388 00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,054 Quick question. 389 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,789 Why can I see you through my newsletter? 390 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,993 Oh, sorry, I had to remove one of the ads. 391 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,528 Was there anything important on the other side? 392 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,564 Just Peg's recipe for her grape salad. 393 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,400 With the mayonnaise and the pretzels. Barf. 394 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,303 Everything okay? 395 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,942 I feel like I'm a failure as a mother. 396 00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,443 What? 397 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,280 Why? 398 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:38,450 Georgie dropped out of school, 399 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:41,253 and now he's working in a gambling room. 400 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,557 I tried so hard to keep him on the right path, 401 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:47,593 and now I feel like I'm just pushing him away. 402 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,895 Hey, teenagers rebel. 403 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:51,230 When I was a kid 404 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,332 in El Paso, we used to cross the border 405 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,201 to drink beer and dance the night away. 406 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:57,403 I thought your father was a pastor. 407 00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,005 He was. It didn't stop me. 408 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,174 It's hard to imagine. 409 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,542 I'm sure my father felt the same way 410 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,945 when he found his little jefe doing the hustle 411 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,079 en la discoteca. 412 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,480 (both chuckle) 413 00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:12,218 Just picture this, but with a big ol' '70s perm. 414 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,452 I looked like a Chia Pet. 415 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,154 ♪ Do the hustle. ♪ 416 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,023 (music playing faintly on radio) 417 00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,458 I still can't believe she lied to me. 418 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:23,229 Look, here's something you should know about life: 419 00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,630 People lie. 420 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,931 Everybody? 421 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:26,999 Pretty much. 422 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:28,334 Well, I don't like it. 423 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,970 Mm. It's not always a bad thing. 424 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,638 When is lying good? 425 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:36,542 Like when you're trying to spare someone's feelings. 426 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,378 Oh, I'd rather everybody just be honest. 427 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,579 Hmm. 428 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:41,714 Fine. 429 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,283 The last thing I wanted to do today was pick you up. 430 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,118 You said you were happy to do it. 431 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:47,620 See? Lies. 432 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,888 Not the worst. 433 00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:53,259 I think I need to stop blindly trusting everything. 434 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,661 Hmm. Probably not a bad idea. 435 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,929 Thanks. 436 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,597 I wish I could believe you. 437 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,135 ADULT SHELDON: Once I was on the lookout for liars, 438 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,537 I saw them everywhere. 439 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,537 ...absolutely necessary. 440 00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:08,274 You're not a captain. You're just an actor. 441 00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,075 Which is another word for liar. 442 00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:12,278 And nothing... 443 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:14,513 is more important than my ship. 444 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,916 He's so darn good at it, though. 445 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,221 (cereal crackling) 446 00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:24,556 I hear no snap, 447 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:28,227 I hear no pop, only crackle. 448 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,400 A bowl of lies. 449 00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,235 (indistinct chatter) 450 00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:39,305 Why are you watching wrestling? 451 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,140 They beat the crap out of each other. 452 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:42,141 It's great. 453 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:43,409 I bet it's all fake. 454 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,444 Does that look fake to you? 455 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:50,382 Okay, it's nice to know something's real. 456 00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,384 Ooh, he's bleeding. 457 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,219 Please watch over Missy and Sheldon 458 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,422 and especially Georgie. 459 00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,691 And please don't let my failings as a mother 460 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,560 get in the way of Your plans for their lives. 461 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,695 Amen. 462 00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:05,264 (gasps) 463 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,133 Hey, baby. What's wrong? 464 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,568 Is it that obvious? 465 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:13,439 Well, you are outside, where birds live. 466 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,507 True. I'll make it quick. 467 00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:18,744 I'm experiencing what the Germans call weltschmerz. 468 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,445 Uh-huh. 469 00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,281 And what do Americans call it? 470 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,482 The pain of the world. 471 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,451 Sounds more fun in German. 472 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,119 Most things do. 473 00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,688 Hmm. Sit. 474 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:33,125 Tell me why you have... What is it? 475 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,259 Weltschmerz. 476 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,028 Weltschmerz. 477 00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,365 It's recently come to my attention 478 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,066 that everybody lies and you can't believe 479 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,768 a thing that comes out of anyone's mouth. 480 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,638 I don't think everybody lies. You don't lie. 481 00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,674 No, but perhaps to get by in the world 482 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,676 it's a skill I should cultivate. 483 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,211 I hope you don't. 484 00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:53,512 I love your honesty. 485 00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:56,181 I want to believe you. 486 00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:57,583 (scoffs) You should, 487 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,052 because I'm your mother and I would never lie to you. 488 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,653 I would never lie to you, either. 489 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,390 So, I guess not everybody lies. 490 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,394 I heard what you said in your prayer, 491 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,562 and I don't think you're failing as a mother. 492 00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,364 Thank you. 493 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,234 I think you're a pretty great son yourself. 494 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,436 I know I'm difficult. 495 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,440 There is not a single thing about you I would change. 496 00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:25,411 ADULT SHELDON: My mom promised she would never lie to me. 497 00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:26,678 And she never did. 498 00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:28,414 (whispers): I'm sorry. 499 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,122 (slot machines whirring) 500 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:39,391 Hey. 501 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,193 Mom send you? 502 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,461 No. 503 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:43,595 She also doesn't know I'm here, 504 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,130 so let's keep that between us. 505 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,465 All right. 506 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,300 Where's your meemaw? 507 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:49,601 Not here. She leaves me in charge 508 00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,470 when she's gone. 509 00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,470 Is that right? 510 00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,605 I also handle stuff in the Laundromat. 511 00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,073 Well, good for you. 512 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:58,710 So... you're okay with me working here? 513 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,413 Well, since I never been here 514 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,415 and we never had this conversation... 515 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,317 ...sure. 516 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,419 Cool. Want to give it a spin? 517 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,456 These things really pay out? 518 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,124 All the time. 519 00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:15,160 Not that one. We call it the homewrecker. 520 00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:16,628 Which one, then? 521 00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,497 That one's your buddy. 522 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,632 Yeah? 523 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,837 Look at me! I-I won two dollars! 524 00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:30,275 (phone rings) 525 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,577 President Hagemeyer. 526 00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:33,111 (speaking device): Miss Hagemeyer, 527 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,746 Stephen Hawking here. 528 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,383 Oh, hello. I... 529 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,786 I... Is this really Stephen Hawking? 530 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,455 Does it not sound like me? 531 00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:46,391 Sorry, I have a cold. 532 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,659 Oh, uh... 533 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:50,295 That was a joke. Ha, ha, ha. 534 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:52,464 (chuckles) Uh... 535 00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,132 how can I help you, sir? 536 00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:56,702 I received a letter from one of your students 537 00:18:56,768 --> 00:19:00,873 about the decision to reduce science requirements. 538 00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,242 Very disappointing. 539 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,511 Well, I would never want to disappoint you, 540 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:07,746 but that-that wasn't my decision. 541 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,682 Whose decision was it? 542 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,685 The grand chancellor. 543 00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:16,154 That is a lie. 544 00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:16,154 Yeah, yeah, that's a lie. 545 00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:19,691 Has anyone ever called you President Hage-liar?