1 00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:03,829 ADULT SHELDON: Engineering has a rich 2 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,527 and storied history, 3 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,182 dating back to ancient times. 4 00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:11,663 Some consider it the single most important field of study... 5 00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:13,230 Okay, w-wha... no. Stop. 6 00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,145 I'm sorry. Howard, I can't do this. 7 00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:17,191 WOLOWITZ: You asked me to write you an introduction to engineering. 8 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,888 ADULT SHELDON: Yes, and if I wanted a comedy routine, 9 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,498 I'd have gone to Billy Crystal. 10 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,109 WOLOWITZ: Just let me read it. [clears throat] 11 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,806 ♪ 12 00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:26,243 Engineering has a rich and storied history 13 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,680 dating back to ancient times. 14 00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:31,031 Some consider it the single most important field of study 15 00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,728 known to man, 16 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:35,861 from the wheel to the International Space Station, 17 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,341 which I went to. 18 00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,082 ADULT SHELDON: Honestly, this again? 19 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,562 WOLOWITZ: Like we don't hear about your Nobel Prize 20 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,390 all the time. 21 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:43,956 ADULT SHELDON: It's not my fault people ask about it. 22 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,089 WOLOWITZ: Because you're always wearing it! 23 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,048 You have it on right now. 24 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,745 ADULT SHELDON: Look how shiny it is. [Wolowitz sighs] 25 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,225 WOLOWITZ: Just tell your story. 26 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,749 ADULT SHELDON: My own history with engineering 27 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:57,100 began spring semester of my freshman year. 28 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,275 Good morning. 29 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,669 I'm Professor Boucher, 30 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:03,063 and this is Civil Engineering Lab. 31 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:06,501 Class begins at 0900, which is... 32 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,417 ...now. 33 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,028 In this course, 34 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,377 we're going to apply the principles 35 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:14,900 of static mechanical forces... 36 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,163 [knocks on door] 37 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,078 I'm in this class. 38 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,167 This class started at 0900, 39 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:24,127 so... no, you're not. 40 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,956 As I was saying, 41 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,523 Uh, yes? 42 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:31,352 I appreciate your use of the 24-four hour time format. 43 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,876 Were you aware that while often referred to as "military time," 44 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,965 it actually dates back to the Egyptians? 45 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,795 I'm aware that the class is now starting at 0901. 46 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,189 Is it all right with you if I begin? 47 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:44,147 Please. 48 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:47,498 ADULT SHELDON: One minute in and I was already his favorite. 49 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:51,154 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 50 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,852 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 51 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:56,551 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 52 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:59,206 ♪ I am a mighty little man 53 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:04,254 ♪ I am a mighty little man.♪ 54 00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:08,780 This course is about practical applications. 55 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:12,001 This isn't about fancy theories or what works in a classroom. 56 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:15,135 If a tunnel collapses, the only math that's gonna matter 57 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,875 is the body count. 58 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,879 You.Sheldon Cooper. 59 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,186 Son, I'll learn your name if you make it to midterms. 60 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,014 Right now, you're just a number to me. 61 00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,624 Ooh, can I be number one? 62 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,365 That's what Captain Picard calls Commander Riker 63 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,367 on Star Trek: Next Generation. 64 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:34,197 You need to listen more and talk less. 65 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,721 Is that clear, number one? 66 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,202 Aye, Captain. 67 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,551 Hmm. 68 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,901 [phone rings] 69 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,469 Ballard's. 70 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:46,688 Hello. 71 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,472 Hey, what's up?Oh, nothing. 72 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:51,301 I just called to say hello.Oh. 73 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,999 Gee, I don't think I've done that in my entire life. 74 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,479 You want me to hang up? 75 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,916 No. Uh-uh. 76 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,223 W... But what happens next? 77 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,311 [phone beeps]Oh, wait, hang on. 78 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:02,660 I got another call. 79 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,488 All right, fine, yeah, sure, I can w... 80 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,837 Hello? 81 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,404 JUNE: Hey, Connie. June. 82 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,232 Hi, June. What's going on? 83 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,191 I know you have a hair appointment this afternoon, 84 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,844 but I'm gonna have to cancel. 85 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,237 Everything okay? 86 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,674 No, I busted my knee up pretty good. 87 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,676 Oh. Does Dale know? 88 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,026 I-I'm on the other line with him. 89 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,246 No, not yet. Yeah, you can tell him. 90 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,421 Okay, hang on. 91 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,640 Hello? 92 00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:27,337 I'm so sorry, who's this? 93 00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,425 It's been so long. 94 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,471 I'm on the phone with June. 95 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:31,863 She hurt her knee. 96 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:32,951 How? 97 00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,301 Well, hold on. 98 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:36,738 How'd you hurt it? 99 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,348 Oh, it's so embarrassing. 100 00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:41,351 I slipped on a glob of hair gel at the salon. 101 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,223 Wait a minute. 102 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:46,704 She slipped on a glob of hair gel at the salon. 103 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:49,054 [laughs]: Oh, nice. 104 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,926 Well, that was worth the wait. 105 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,625 SHELDON: And then, at exactly 9:00, 106 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:57,062 he locked the doors and wouldn't let any latecomers in. 107 00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,629 That seems a little harsh. 108 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,457 He's so intolerant. It's fantastic. 109 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:03,112 He also wears a bow tie, and instead of using my name, 110 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,766 he gave me a number. 111 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,376 I don't think I like that, either. 112 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,812 No, it's great. It's like we're robots. 113 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,292 And guess what my number is. 114 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,728 Number two? 115 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:11,903 SHELDON: No, number one, 116 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,340 like Riker on Star Trek. 117 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:15,820 But number two is also good. Like the pencil. 118 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,257 MARY:Well, 119 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,780 I'm glad you enjoyed your class. 120 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,869 For our first assignment, we get to build a bridge. 121 00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,480 Professor Boucher was part of the Army Corps of Engineers, 122 00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,569 and he built bridges all over the world. 123 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,397 You know, I was also in the Army. 124 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,747 Ooh, perhaps you trudged across one of his bridges. 125 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,096 How neat would that be? 126 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,142 I bet Dad did cool Army stuff, too. 127 00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,623 Nope. "Trudging" sums it up. 128 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,625 See, number one is also pretty funny, 129 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,453 'cause it means taking a leak. 130 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,802 [sighs] 131 00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,499 [doorbell rings][TV playing indistinctly] 132 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,022 Come in.[TV stops] 133 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,416 If you're a robber, I got a shotgun. 134 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,679 It's Connie and Dale. Don't shoot. 135 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:49,680 [laughs]: Oh. 136 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,856 Hey. Y'all didn't have to come by. 137 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,031 MEEMAW: We just wanted to see 138 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,468 how you're doing. 139 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,557 Yeah. Brought your favorite ice cream. 140 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,775 Butter pecan? 141 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,125 What's your second-favorite? 142 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,694 I'll put this away. 143 00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,217 So, how's it going? 144 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,567 Do you have anybody to help you out? 145 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:10,222 Oh, yeah. These little guys. 146 00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,920 Elvis was onto something.[chuckles] 147 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,139 Till he keeled over on the toilet. 148 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,706 He was the king. 149 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,230 That was his throne.[laughs] 150 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:21,321 Seriously, now, though, if you need anything at all, 151 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:22,800 we are here for you. 152 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:25,281 That's right. 100%. 153 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,457 MEEMAW: Would you stop? 154 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,980 I was being sincere. 155 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,722 Well, that's for the next dumb thing you say. 156 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,071 Well, just quit hitting me, would you? 157 00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,334 Well, quit being stupid. 158 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,599 BOUCHER: For your design assignment, you may decide 159 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:41,123 between suspension bridges, truss bridges, beam bridges, 160 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,734 just not Beau Bridges. 161 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:50,088 And people say engineers don't have a sense of humor. 162 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:51,089 Yes? 163 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,656 What are Beau Bridges? 164 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,485 That's all for today. 165 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,661 Your initial designs are due next week. 166 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,054 [students shuffling] 167 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,753 I finished my design assignment early. 168 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,713 I admire that initiative. 169 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,368 Thank you, I stayed up late to finish it. 170 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,718 My normal bedtime is 2100 hours, 171 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,720 but I was so excited to do it that I took a power nap 172 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:15,026 in my Meemaw's back seat on the drive home. 173 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,725 Uh, you'll need to do this again. It's wrong. 174 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,468 No, it's not. 175 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,862 Son, I'm giving you another chance before it's due. 176 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,822 Well, what's wrong with it? 177 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,389 That's your job to figure out. 178 00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:32,348 I would argue that it's your job to teach me. 179 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,659 Let's see. [clears throat] 180 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:42,184 To start, this bridge is in pieces. 181 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,707 What do you mean? 182 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,672 Well, two can play at this game. 183 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,421 Well, now they can't. 184 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,560 And then he ripped up my paper right in front of me. 185 00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,127 What is this man's problem? 186 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,259 I don't know. He didn't even use a ruler. 187 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,131 He just ripped it up, willy-nilly. 188 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,872 Do you want me to call the school? 189 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,657 No, he was in the Army. I want him to think I'm tough. 190 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,485 Sure. 191 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:26,184 Well, I'm sorry you had a bad day. 192 00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:28,752 How about a little trip to RadioShack? 193 00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,755 RadioShack's not gonna make this better. 194 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,888 It's also not gonna make it worse, so okay. 195 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,542 You got it. 196 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:38,196 Maybe he was just intimidated by my intelligence. 197 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,155 Or maybe he's an insecure bully 198 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,766 taking out his frustrations on a little boy. 199 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,725 I like my version better where I'm intimidating 200 00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,466 and not a helpless child. 201 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:50,774 Okay, he's taking out his frustrations on a powerful 202 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:53,211 and intimidating young man. 203 00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,126 That works. 204 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,388 WOMAN [over TV]: Romeo, 205 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,478 wherefore art thou, Romeo? 206 00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,957 Hey, baby. 207 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,046 [TV playing indistinctly] 208 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,796 [phone ringing] 209 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,145 Ballard's. 210 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,321 It's me. Any chance you could swing by? 211 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,149 What do you need? 212 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:19,629 Well, the recliner won't go down, 213 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,675 and I'm stuck in this chair like a damn fool. 214 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,981 Well, that is a situation. 215 00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,548 How long you been stuck? 216 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,463 Are you gonna help me out or not? 217 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,552 Oh, just give me a moment to enjoy it. 218 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,163 Get your ass over here and you can laugh at me in person. 219 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,122 Eh, I'm on my way. 220 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,427 [exhales] Thank you. 221 00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:36,864 Got to grab my camera.[hangs up] 222 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,170 [sighs] 223 00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,825 ADULT SHELDON: You know it's bleak when even a trip to RadioShack 224 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,827 couldn't lift my spirits. 225 00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:47,091 ANNOUNCER: Professor Proton will be right back after these messages. 226 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,572 ♪ 227 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,879 ♪ You're reaching deep inside you ♪ 228 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:54,534 Go!♪ For things you've never known ♪ 229 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,276 ♪ It's been tough, rough going 230 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,105 ♪ But you haven't gone alone 231 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:04,718 ♪ Be all that you can be... 232 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,328 Of course. 233 00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:07,808 ADULT SHELDON: I realized Professor Boucher 234 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,724 was pushing me to be the best me I could be. 235 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,074 You'd think the person who could teach me 236 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:15,380 to be the best me I could be was me, 237 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:18,601 but it was Professor Boucher, after the Army taught him 238 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,603 to be the best he that he could be. 239 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,213 Now it was up to me 240 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:25,303 to help us be the best "we" we could be. 241 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,872 I think you're going to like this one, sir. 242 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:36,837 Do it again. 243 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,534 Yes, sir, sir. 244 00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:41,363 Here you go. 245 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:44,366 ♪ 246 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:48,196 ♪ But it was just another piece of paper... ♪ 247 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,501 Again. 248 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,416 Yes, sir, sir. 249 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:54,376 ♪ And it really didn't mean one little thing ♪ 250 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:59,337 ♪ To you from the very start 251 00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:02,514 ♪ Just another piece of paper... ♪ 252 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,779 Oh, at least use a straight-edge. 253 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,303 ♪ Just another piece of paper 254 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:11,132 ♪ Tearing us apart 255 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,746 ♪ And it is just another piece of paper... ♪ 256 00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:21,533 You wanted to see me, ma'am? 257 00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:24,188 Hello, Professor Boucher. Please, come in, have a seat. 258 00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,929 I'd prefer to stand. 259 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:29,933 Oh. All right, uh, then, I will also stand. 260 00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,196 [chuckles] 261 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,895 You know what, um, these are really not standing shoes, 262 00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,723 so I'm just gonna sit. 263 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,073 I was hoping that we could have a little chat 264 00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:41,641 about Sheldon Cooper. 265 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,601 I'll start. 266 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:49,605 Sheldon is a very important asset to this university. 267 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,000 And we like to keep that little fella happy. 268 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,350 But it seems that your teaching methods 269 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,700 are making him unhappy. 270 00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,093 You understand? 271 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,616 Yes, ma'am, I do. 272 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,922 Great. 273 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:06,317 You'd like me to turn his frown upside down. 274 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:07,449 You know, when you say it, 275 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:12,454 it sounds more chilling than fun. 276 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:13,673 I'm just saying 277 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:17,067 that he's a sensitive kid, and you are... 278 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,461 well, whatever this vibe is. 279 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,071 I understand. 280 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,466 Excellent, so you'll take it easy on him? 281 00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:27,425 No. I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't do that. 282 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,950 You see, uh... 283 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,343 all these "ma'ams," they sound polite, 284 00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:34,781 but then I don't seem to be getting anywhere. 285 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,696 Well, that's because you're not. 286 00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:40,264 You do realize that I'm your boss? 287 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:41,701 Yes, ma'am, I do. 288 00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,747 And do you realize that I have tenure? 289 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,010 Ugh, tenure. 290 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,490 What fun is it being president 291 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,274 if I can't threaten people's jobs? 292 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,624 May I get back to class now? 293 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,192 Oh, fine. And fall off, or whatever it is. 294 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,541 It's "dismissed," ma'am. 295 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,413 Just go. 296 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,372 [laughs softly] 297 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,200 I heard that giggle. 298 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,161 MEEMAW: Okay. Soup's on. 299 00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:09,511 Mmm. Wow, looks good. 300 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,121 [grunts] Oh, geez. 301 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,296 Are you okay? 302 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,995 Oh, I, uh, I tweaked my back. 303 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,300 Oh. How? 304 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:17,693 I was helping June out. 305 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,304 Well, aren't you sweet? 306 00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,567 What'd she have you doing for her? 307 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,136 Yeah, this and that. 308 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,312 This and that what? 309 00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:31,751 Yeah. This and that and the other thing. 310 00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,667 Do you not want to tell me? 311 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:40,237 Well, for the sake of honesty and because she might tell you, 312 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,457 I was helping her take a shower. 313 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,373 You took a shower with her? 314 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,768 Shetook the shower, I was just assisting. 315 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:50,030 So she was naked. 316 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,684 For crying out loud, we were married. 317 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,338 I've seen her naked a million times. 318 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,471 You think that is helping? 319 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,125 I knew I shouldn't have been honest. 320 00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,823 You shouldn't have been playing bathroom attendant. 321 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,782 There was nothing sexy about it. 322 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:05,349 It was like washing a car. 323 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,003 A rusty old car. 324 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,788 Did you scrub her windshield? 325 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,399 What does that even mean? 326 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:13,314 Her boobs, genius. 327 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,360 I was helping her in the shower 328 00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,406 so she didn't fall down. 329 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,235 Well, fine. 330 00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:22,845 And boobs are headlights. 331 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,368 Everybody knows that. 332 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,295 What are you doing? 333 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,036 Watching Sheldon struggle with homework. 334 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,298 It's so great. 335 00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:44,998 Come on, think. 336 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,609 What's going on?I can't 337 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,437 figure out this engineering project. 338 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,005 And every time I turn it in, my professor just rips it up. 339 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,094 Well, ain't this the fella you liked? 340 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,923 I did, when I thought he was pushing me to be all I could be, 341 00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:59,273 but it turns out all he can be is mean. 342 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,623 I'm sure you'll figure it out. 343 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,494 Could you talk to him? 344 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:04,974 You're in college now. 345 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,889 Don't you think you should fight your own battles? 346 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,325 Does telling on him to the president 347 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,631 of the university count? 348 00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:10,632 Did it work? 349 00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,416 No.Then no. 350 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,896 Will you please talk to him? 351 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,420 Ooh, what if your mom does it? 352 00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,857 But you were both in the Army. 353 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,162 And you're both crabby and impatient. 354 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:20,990 There's a lot of common ground. 355 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,688 You really got under this guy's skin, huh? 356 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:24,951 It would seem so. 357 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,214 Lot of common ground. 358 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,608 [phone rings] 359 00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,654 [TV playing indistinctly] 360 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:33,916 Hello. 361 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,091 Hey, June. 362 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,614 Connie. Just wanted to see 363 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:37,964 if you need anything. 364 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,922 Nah, I'm good, but thank you, though. 365 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,271 You sure? 366 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,274 Groceries? Dishes? 367 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,363 Help in the shower? 368 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,800 Damn it, Dale. 369 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:49,758 MEEMAW: I'm sorry, 370 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,194 I'm just not comfortable with it. 371 00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,892 You think I am? 372 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:56,547 Last time he saw me naked, gravity was on my side. 373 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,114 Then why'd you ask him to do it? 374 00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,377 Who else am I gonna ask, Connie? 375 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:01,944 You got tons of friends. 376 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:05,208 I've got acquaintances, I've got clients. 377 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,688 Those aren't exactly people 378 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,559 you want looking at your hernia scar. 379 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,387 And Dale is? 380 00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,955 I got that hernia by dragging him onto the bed 381 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,436 one night he came in passed-out drunk. 382 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,177 Look, I'm sorry if I 383 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,875 crossed the line, but you have nothing to worry about. 384 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,445 Okay. 385 00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,142 Look, I promise, next time, 386 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,231 I'll get the kid who mows my lawn 387 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,103 to come over and hose me off in the backyard. 388 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,105 Call me. 389 00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:35,282 I'd be happy to hose you off in the backyard. 390 00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,632 [laughs, sighs] 391 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,547 I got to admit, I'm a little jealous. 392 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,374 Of what? 393 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:41,766 You. 394 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:42,898 Why? 395 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,553 You have the Dale I never got. 396 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:48,034 I spent a lot of time 397 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:50,688 polishing that turd, and you get all the benefits. 398 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,864 Hey, I put my time in on that, too. 399 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,257 Not as much as me. 400 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,303 When I met him, he was a mess. 401 00:15:56,346 --> 00:16:00,089 [laughs]: You should've seen where I started. 402 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,091 Well, I think we can both agree, 403 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,267 he is one lucky turd. 404 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,791 Amen, sister. 405 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,359 BOUCHER: So, let me guess. 406 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,057 You think I'm being too hard on him 407 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,667 and you want me to lighten up? 408 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,190 He is having a tough time. 409 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,539 It's a tough class. 410 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:16,888 Look, I get it. 411 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,194 I was in the Army, too, 412 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,327 I-I'm all for being strict, but... 413 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,590 he doesn't even know where he's going wrong. 414 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,113 You know, maybe you could just 415 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,810 point him in the right direction? 416 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,725 You mean, give him the answer? 417 00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,640 No, no. 418 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:30,815 Would you? 419 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,295 What do you think? 420 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,167 No.See? 421 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:38,649 I didn't give you the answer and you figured it out. 422 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,651 Look... 423 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:43,524 ...your son is obviously brilliant, 424 00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:46,179 but coddling him won't prepare him for the real world. 425 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,051 I've been saying that since the day he was born. 426 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,532 Sometimes you have to break them down to build them back up. 427 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,186 I do that with my football players. 428 00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,318 At least, I try to, but then the parents 429 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,712 get all bent out of shape, they come into my office. 430 00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,453 You don't say. 431 00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,281 Yeah, you would not believe... 432 00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:04,414 Oh. Y-You mean me. Got it. 433 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,590 You figured it out again. 434 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,028 Hey, I'm two for two. 435 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,206 Hey. 436 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,598 Did you talk to my teacher? 437 00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,035 I did. 438 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,949 So, is he gonna tell me what I'm doing wrong? 439 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,647 I'm going to. 440 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,736 You're sitting here waiting to be handed the answer 441 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,433 and that's not how life is. 442 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,087 You got to work for it. 443 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,220 I don't want to hear a football pep talk.Hey. 444 00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:29,874 This isn't football. This is real. 445 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,267 Your professor's right. 446 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,660 Now, instead of pouting, 447 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:35,054 take charge of your own life. 448 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:39,754 ADULT SHELDON: My dad was right. 449 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,495 I had to take charge. 450 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:44,237 And after 20 more minutes of pouting, 451 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,239 that's exactly what I did. 452 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,284 But despite my best efforts, 453 00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:51,418 I was still no closer to figuring it out. 454 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,072 I was going to have to see my work 455 00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,726 be torn to pieces one more time. 456 00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,341 Of course. 457 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,778 I'd been so focused on mathematical perfection 458 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:06,868 that I hadn't taken into account real-world elements. 459 00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:09,131 Wind can trigger vibrations. 460 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:12,091 If these vibrations occur at a system's resonant frequency, 461 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:14,180 then oscillation generates excitation 462 00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:17,357 and a bridge can lose its structural integrity. 463 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,968 Okay, I'm a genius again. 464 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,796 ADULT SHELDON: I couldn't wait to hand in my paper 465 00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:24,059 and see the proud look on Professor Boucher's... 466 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,149 No! 467 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,498 I figured it out! 468 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:31,066 It's wind! It's wind! 469 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:36,289 I hate engineering. 470 00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,291 WOLOWITZ: Wait, so after all this time, 471 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,554 that's your problem with engineering? 472 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:41,598 ADULT SHELDON: Evidently. 473 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,165 WOLOWITZ: So all the teasing 474 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,254 and all the abuse had nothing to do with me? 475 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,604 ADULT SHELDON: I'll admit, at first, I had a chip on my shoulder 476 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:51,042 because of that class, but then it was mostly you. 477 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,827 WOLOWITZ: Unbelievable. When will I learn? 478 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,307 ADULT SHELDON: I could give you that answer, 479 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,917 but if you figure it out for yourself, 480 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,484 it'll mean so much more. 481 00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:58,572 WOLOWITZ: Goodbye, Sheldon.ADULT SHELDON: Bye. 482 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,230 You wanted to see me, ma'am? 483 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,145 Professor. 484 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,930 I understand you locked Sheldon out of class. 485 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:11,193 Well, he was late. That's my policy. 486 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,152 I need you to do me a favor. 487 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,545 Yes? 488 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,417 Tell me exactly what his face looked like 489 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:18,940 when it happened. 490 00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,855 Wh... Seriously? 491 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,726 Oh... Paint me a picture. 492 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:25,512 I want to feel like I was the one who closed that door. 493 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,209 Oh, I'm gonna sit for this. 494 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,690 Okay, so he approached 495 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,605 the door with that smug look he has. 496 00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:34,129 Ugh. I know it well.Then, 497 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,957 when he realized it was locked, 498 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,222 his face fell into shock and disbelief. 499 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,963 [laughs] Nice. 500 00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,747 Uh, show me. Do the face. 501 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,622 [chuckles] 502 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,407 [laughs] 503 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:52,887 Oh, sir, 504 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:55,716 you have turned my frown upside down. 505 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,588 You are welcome, ma'am. [laughs]