Previously on" Young Sheldon...
- I've been corresponding with Dr. John Sturgis
at East Texas Tech.
He said I could audit his course.
- I'm John Sturgis.
Sheldon invited me to dinner.
Spaghetti and hot dogs is delightful.
- You're only here temporarily?
- That's the plan for now, but...uh..
but I could be enticed to stay.
- I do believe there was subtext there.
Did you pick up on it?
- Okay.
I'll see you later.
- Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?
- I don't think so. I dont really understand this stuff.
- That's how I felt when we watched Dirty Dancing,
and I stayed.
- When Patrick Swayze takes his shirt off in here, I'll be back.
You have a good one.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Who are you?
- I'm Paige.
I like your bow tie.
- Thank you.
You seem awfully young, Paige.
Are you with an adult who's taking this class?
- No. Dr. Sturgis heard about my research
on quantum chromodynamics at high temperatures
and invited me to audit his course.
- Is that so?
- Yes. He's been super nice.
- Interesting. Well, just so we're clear,
he's my mentor, he's my meemaws boyfriend,
and he had spaghetti and hot dogs at my house.
(chuckling) -The spaghetti goes on the hot dogs?
- No.
You realize this is a very advanced class.
We'll be discussing
deriving nuclear physics from the quark model.
- Do you know if he'll be doing a full color octet calculation
with matrix manipulations?
- I do not.
- Do you know how to differentiate under the integral sign?
- No.
(chuckles): - Well, do you know anything?
- I know you're in my spot.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
♪ I bet I could be your hero
♪ I am a mighty little man
♪ I am a mighty little man.
♪
- How old are you?
- I'm ten.
- I'm ten, too.
- When's your birthday?
- February 26.
- March 17.
- I'm the youngest person in this class.
(chuckles): That's funny.
- Oh, good.
I see you two have met.
- I'm younger than him.
- How come you never mentioned she was coming to this class?
- I thought it would be a fun surprise.
- I don't like surprises.
- Neither do I.
- Then why did you do it?
- Some people like surprises.
- I love surprises.
- Did you enjoy this one? - Yes.
- A 50% success rate.
Not bad.
Let's get started.
ADULT SHELDON: Not since sharing a uterus with my twin sister
have I been so unhappy sitting next to someone.
("Cracklin' Rosie" by Neil Diamond playing)
♪ Taking it slow
♪ And Lord, don't you know ♪
- Awful quiet back there.
- I'm having an emotion I'm unfamiliar with.
- Hmm. Think it might have something to do
with your new classmate?
- It's possible.
She's the only variable in the social equation.
- So what are you feeling?
- My face is hot,
I've a knot in my stomach,
and I'm resisting the urge to kick your seat right now.
- I'm thinking it might be jealousy.
- No, that's not in my nature.
- All right, let's go through all the emotions.
I'm looking at your face,
so I'm gonna rule out happy.
Are you sad?
- No, there's too much anger in there.
- Oh, well, maybe you're angry.
- No, there's too much sad in there.
- Maybe you got a little crush on her.
- Do you want me to kick your seat?
- I don't know, Moonpie.
I'm still thinking it might be jealousy.
- Give me one reason why I would be jealous.
- Well, Dr. Sturgis means a lot to you,
and now he's paying attention to somebody else.
You're used to being the only smart kid around,
and now there's another.
Oh, and there's the possibility...
- I said one reason, thank you.
♪ Yeah...
(phone rings)
- Hello?
STURGIS (on phone): - Hello, Mary.
This is John Sturgis,
Sheldon's professor and your mother's lover.
- Hi. And "John" was more than enough.
- I was calling because there's a new student in my class
who's Sheldons age.
- No kidding.
- Her mother wondered if I could put you two in contact
since you have so much in common.
- Oh, of course.
- Excellent.
I'll give you the number when you're ready.
- Um...
I am ready.
- 409-356-6049.
- John?
- Yes?
- That's my number.
(laughs)
- So it is!
- This is so exciting.
Don't you understand what this means?
- Rather than me feel dumb, how about you just tell me?
- These are parents we can actually relate to.
- Yeah, sure.
- All the times we wonder
if we're doing right by Sheldon or how to handle him,
we finally have someone to compare notes with.
There's notes?
(chuckles): I just been winging it.
- I'm gonna call her right now. - Sounds good.
(squeals)
- Oh, thank you, Lord, for connecting us
with the parents of another special child.
You kids are special, too.
- Do you feel special?
- At least I'm the only daughter.
You got nothing.
SHELDON: - And she's such a know-it-all.
- Yeah, you mentioned that.
- I'm surprised her arm wasn't sore
from raising her hand so much.
- Yep, sure.
- And who goes to college with stickers
on their notepad?
- I don't know.
- Unicorn stickers.
- And we're home.
- Hey, Shelly.
Guess who's coming over tomorrow?
Your new friend Paige.
- Okay, I'm gonna go.
- Come on, Shelly. Maybe you'll end up being friends.
- I don't like her,
I'm not going to like her, and Tam is my friend.
I don't need another one.
- You can have more than one friend.
I'm sure Tam has other friends.
- No, I'm all hes got.
And even I avoid him half the time.
Also, you don't have any friends.
Why are you so worried about me?
- I have friends.
- Then how come the only person who ever comes over is Meemaw?
- Because...
Okay, this isn't about me.
So Paige didn't make a good first impression,
but that can change.
What's that new Star Trek show?
- Next Generation?
- When that first came on, you said a new Star Trek
without Dr. Spock could never be good,
but I've seen you watching it.
- Well, first of all, it's Mr. Spock.
Dr. Spock writes books about babies.
- My apologies.
- And second of all, Paige isn't a TV show.
She's a person, and we all know how I feel about people.
(blows raspberry)
(sighs)
- Okay, look.
You're right.
I don't have many friends,
so I was hoping to get to know Paige's mom.
But if it makes you uncomfortable,
then I will call her and cancel.
- I'll think about it.
- Thank you, baby.
ADULT SHELDON: Guilt and jealousy in the same day.
I slept hard that night.
- Mmm.
Did you know that there's a type of vanilla flavoring
derived from the anal glands
of the North American beaver?
- That seems like a fact you could have shared
before we started eating.
- It isn't used very often.
I understand it's difficult to, uh, milk the little sacs.
- Cool. Okay, new topic.
Let's talk about Sheldon.
- Wonderful. What about him?
- He's having kind of a hard time with the new girl in your class.
- Really? Why?
- He's jealous of the attention you're paying her.
- Well, she's remarkable.
- You see that? Less of that.
- But I think he's remarkable, too.
- Perfect. More of that, less of the other one.
- Understood.
See, this is why we're great together.
You teach me about social etiquette,
and I teach you about beaver anuses.
(chuckles): - It is magical.
- Did you know "ani" is also acceptable
as the plural of "anus"?
- And the magic continues.
(chuckles)
SPOCK: Must have been most difficult for you to share.
ADULT SHELDON: The thought of Spending an afternoon
with Paige seemed excruciating.
But I wanted to make my mother happy.
I was torn.
The release of emotions, Mr. Spock,
is what keeps us healthy...
emotionally healthy, that is.
ADULT SHELDON: Luckily, the wise wo rds of Gene Roddenberry
flatly delivered by Leonard Nimoy
Resolved my dilemma.
- That may be, Doctor.
However, I have noted
that the healthy release of emotion
is frequently very unhealthy.
- I realized if Mr. Spock could rise above his emotions
while the fate of the Enterprise hung in the balance,
Certainly I could tolerate Paige for a few hours.
GEORGE JR.: I'm not watching this crap.
- Why do I listen to you?
WOMAN: Tony, this is going to help you choose a major.
This test is designed to help you focus. (exhales)
TONY: I know, but what if it says all I'm good at is...
- What are you doing?
- Suppressing my emotions.
- Oh, yeah? Suppress this.
(belches)
(blows)
(whispers): Hot dogs.
♪
ADULT SHELDON: Vulcans use a technique
called Kolinahr to suppress their emotions.
MARY: Sheldon, they're here!
- Obviously, I wasn't a Vulcan.
So I did the next best thing:
took my feelings and shoved them down so far
they may have been lost forever.
- Hi, Sheldon!
- The release of emotions, Mr. Spock,
is what keeps us healthy.
Dr. McCoy was an idiot.
- Well, you just have a beautiful home. - Thank you.
- Can I interest anyone in something stronger than iced tea?
- Oh, well, I'll take a beer if you have one.
- Don't worry. He's personally keeping
the Lone Star Brewing Company in business.
(laughing)
- They did send me a belt buckle.
(chuckling)
Be right back.
- So, Barry, uh, Linda tells me
- you're a dentist? - Uh, yes.
I have a practice up in Jasper.
Uh, Paige actually does some of the bookkeeping for us.
- That's so funny.
Sheldon does our taxes.
- Oh! (chuckles) Yeah, we used to pay her In stickers,
but, this year, she actually started asking for money.
- Well, don't let Sheldon hear that.
We pay him in binder clips.
(chuckles)- He loves being organized. - Boy, does he.
We can't go to the grocery store without him making sure
that all the labels are facing the right way.
- Oh, the stock boys there are always so happy to see him.
(laughing)
- That's adorable.
- Well, it wasn't adorable when we redid our shower
and he wouldn't use it cause two of the tiles were crooked.
- He took baths in the sink
until we got it fixed.
(laughing)
- So does Paige do any quirky stuff like that?
(both) - No. Not really.
- Oh.
- Now, since we'll be spending a few hours together,
I've created a list of activities to keep us occupied.
We'll start with a tour of my room,
then board games, and, if time permits,
you can look at and not touch my trains.
- Oh, My Little Pony.
I love My Little Pony.
- That's my sisters, and it's not part of the tour.
- I share a room with my sister, too.
It's super fun.
- You're wrong.
Now, over here, we have my desk.
This is my computer.
That's my mouse.
This is my printer.
This is the paper that goes in the printer.
This is a box of extra paper
that also goes in the printer.
And this is my signed picture of Professor Proton.
Do you watch his show?
- No. I don't really like it.
- You don't?
- I think he's boring.
- And he dumbs everything down.
ADULT SHELDON: Come on, Kolinahr, don't fail me now.
- And next on the tour, we have...
a lamp.
(sighs)
(quietly): - This is not making me feel better.
Their kid is perfect.
- And so is ours.
- So we're lying to each other. Fine.
- It's just nice to get to know another family
who's in a similar situation as us.
- And we're still lying. (sighs)
- What grade are you in?
- Eighth.
You?
- Tenth.
- Cool.
- Nobody asked, but fourth.
Why do grownups do this?
They love to stick random kids together
and expect them to just be friends.
- I know.
I hate that.
- Fresh Prince is right. Parents just don't understand.
(chuckles) - I love that song.
MISSY: I have a cassette of it,
but I recorded it off the radio.
You can hear Sheldon in the background
saying stuff about Sir Isaac Neutron.
- Ugh, my sister's always talking about him.
I don't know why.
I think he's dead.
- You have no idea how much it sucks
to have a brother like him.
Believe it or not, he's in my class.
- My parents sent Paige to a private school.
- Cool. We're too poor for that.
(sighs)
- Does Sheldon make you feel stupid?
- Nah, I'm smart in other ways.
- Me, too.
- Hey, I saw an old TV in the alley.
Want to go throw rocks at it?
- Cool! - Hell yeah!
- Let's do it.
- We could play traditional chess.
Or if you're interested, we could play a variant
with a new piece I invented.
- That sounds fun.
What's the new piece?
- A wizard.
The wizard cannot be taken, and, at any point,
he can teleport and switch places with any other piece.
- Yes, but there's an obvious flaw.
- What flaw?
- Well, any time anyone is checkmated,
they can simply have the wizard and their king switch places.
So the game will never end.
- I knew that. You passed my test.
- We told Paige that if she won
the regional spelling bee, she could get a puppy.
We ended up with two,
'cause she won twice. (chuckles)
(chuckles): - Fun! That-That's fun.
BARRY: All right...
- That's enough about Paige.
So, George, I know you're
a football coach.
What about you, Mary?
- I work part-time at the church.
- Oh. - Oh, that's so nice.
- I used to work at the practice with Barry,
but I had to quit once Paige's schedule
- started to get busy. - Mm.
- Well, that's understandable.
A unique child can require a lot of attention.
(Barry chuckles)
- Mm.
- Try all the attention. Hmm?
(chuckles): -Okay. You know that's not true, Barry.
- Well... (chuckles) She's... she's right. Its not.
Although I did spend Father's Day alone
'cause she took Paige to a robotics show.
- Okay. That's enough, Barry.
They don't need to hear all this.
(chuckles) GEORGE SR.: That's okay.
(stammers) That's why we're getting together,
talk about this kind of stuff.
Barry, it sounds like you might be feeling left out.
- Oh. (chuckles) No.
(laughs)
- Sometimes I do.
And it's not just me. It's Erica, too.
- Oh, now he's just being dramatic.
Erica gets a lot of attention,
and she's just a joy. (chuckles)
- Dang it, the screen won't break.
- Bet it'll break if we blow it up.
(whispers): - I love her.
- Fine, you're right.
Erica's doing just great.
Nothing to worry about there.
(chuckles)
ERICA: Oh, come on.
You got any matches?
- Be right back.
- While she's gone, you want to make out?
- Sure.
- You actually believe in the multiverse theory?
- Very much so.
- It's the most elegant interpretation
of quantum mechanics.
- So you really think there are an infinite number of universes?
- Stephen Hawking believes it, so, yes, I do.
- Well, if there are an infinite number of universes,
I think that theory's dumb in all of them.
(chuckles)
This is fun.
I don't get to have discussions like this
with kids at my school.
Do you?
- No.
- Do you ever wish you were just like everyone else?
- Not at all.
(chuckles) - Me neither.
I love being smarter than everyone. (chuckles)
- Me, too.
ADULT SHELDON: I started to Think that Paige and I
might have more in common than I thought.
Maybe my mother was right.
I really did just need to get to know her better.
- Checkmate!
You lose. (chuckles)
KIRK: Red alert. (alarm sounding)
Phasers stand by to fire on my order.
- Guess that makes me the smartest.
ADULT SHELDON: I don't know if ten-year-old Spock
ever flipped a chess board,
but ten-year-old Sheldon sure did.
(alarm sounding)
(Star Trek fight music playing)
(Barry and Linda bickering indistinctly)
- Got to say, I'm glad we invited 'em over.
(clinking) - Don't you get him another beer.
- Come on. You love this and you know it.
They're as messed up as we are.
- Fine. But one more and that's it.
(loud boom) (gasps)
GEORGE JR.: -Whoa! ERICA: -Yes!
MISSY: Holy crap!
- Don't you... Go out there and check!
- Now, does anyone know what happens to quarks
when we combine them
to make mesons and baryons?
- Yes, Paige.
- We can ignore the particle masses
at the individual quark level.
- Correct.
(chuckles): You are really...
- He's jealous of you paying attention to her.
- That was correct, Paige.
And, Sheldon,
is that a new bow tie?
- It is.
Lookin' sharp!
- Thanks.
- That was a close one.
As I was saying, we only...