1 00:00:02,940 --> 00:00:05,950 ADULT SHELDON: Not all science is created equal. 2 00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:09,120 There's physics, the undisputed king of science. 3 00:00:09,170 --> 00:00:10,910 There's chemistry. It's no physics, 4 00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:13,340 but it's not a bad way to pass a rainy afternoon. 5 00:00:13,390 --> 00:00:18,970 And then there's biology, the squishiest of the sciences. Ugh! 6 00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:23,010 Once you have deposited enough saliva in the blue Benedict's solution, 7 00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:26,580 we'll mix it in the centrifuge. 8 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,710 After that, we'll pass it through the spectrometer 9 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,320 to measure how much glucose is present. 10 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,760 And won't that be a party? 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,800 Sheldon. 12 00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:44,720 [WHIRRING] 13 00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:47,160 [HISSING, CLANGING] 14 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:53,560 Oh, dear. Oh, dear. 15 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,600 It's warm. Oh, dear. 16 00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:59,740 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 17 00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:02,610 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 18 00:01:02,660 --> 00:01:05,140 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 19 00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:07,530 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 20 00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:11,840 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 21 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,890 And then there was some extra money in the budget, 22 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:19,630 so I was able to order those tackling dummies 23 00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:21,150 I had my eye on. 24 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,070 I don't understand why the football program gets 25 00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:25,070 so much money, while the equipment in the science lab 26 00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:27,070 is outdated and falling apart. 27 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,290 Oh, I can explain that. 28 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,550 This is Texas. 29 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,550 Pass the ribs. 30 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:31,550 Well, it's not fair. 31 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,600 It's a school. 32 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,430 Education should be their priority. 33 00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,040 All right, I'll explain it again... 34 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,390 MEEMAW: I think Shelly's got a point. 35 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,690 The school is supposed to prepare these kids 36 00:01:39,740 --> 00:01:41,080 for the future. How many of 'em 37 00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:43,520 are gonna be professional football players? 38 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,090 No one at this table. 39 00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:47,960 But how many of 'em are gonna be scientists? 40 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,220 I know. 41 00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,790 George, isn't there a way they can take some 42 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:53,790 of the football money and spend it on science? 43 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,230 Really? I need to explain it again? 44 00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:58,150 You know, Moon Pie, in the '60s, when the hippies wanted 45 00:01:58,190 --> 00:02:00,670 to change things, they would just protest. 46 00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:02,450 You were a hippie? Oh, no. 47 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,850 But I wrote a letter complaining about the hippies, 48 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,070 and the police chased 'em right out of that park. 49 00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:08,550 So my point is... 50 00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:10,590 maybe you could write a letter. 51 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,990 Ooh! Maybe I can lodge a formal complaint 52 00:02:13,030 --> 00:02:15,160 with the school board about the sports budget infringing 53 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,510 on the other departments. 54 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:17,640 Okay, last time: 55 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:19,170 Canada, 56 00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,990 the other states, 57 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,820 us. 58 00:02:24,690 --> 00:02:26,430 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 59 00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:30,440 [SHOUTS] [SHOUTS] 60 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,610 What are you doing, standing there? 61 00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:34,790 I wrote a formal complaint letter to the school board 62 00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:36,880 on how much money is spent on football. 63 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,140 I was hoping you could deliver it to them. 64 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:41,060 You do realize your father's a coach here. 65 00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,540 Yes, sir, I do. 66 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,410 Maybe you ought to talk to him about this first. 67 00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:45,450 I did. 68 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,320 He didn't care for the idea at all. 69 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:49,680 Well, there you go. 70 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,550 There I go what? 71 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,240 Let me see that. 72 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,120 [SIGHS] 73 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,340 "Barbaric sport... encourages bloodlust similar 74 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,210 "to Roman gladiator games... 75 00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,300 "Christians, lions... 76 00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,650 money better spent on science and learning." 77 00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:07,650 You're joking, right? 78 00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:10,170 Did you see the word "bazinga" anywhere in that letter? 79 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,440 Out. 80 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,360 I'll just have to go over his head. 81 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,670 President Cooper. 82 00:03:23,710 --> 00:03:25,540 That's serendipitous. 83 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,240 Hello. 84 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,670 [GASPS][SHOUTS] 85 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,150 What? 86 00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:33,810 I understand that you're in charge of student elections. 87 00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,240 [EXHALES] 88 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:36,370 I am. 89 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:38,590 I'd like to run for class president. 90 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,250 Really? 91 00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:41,810 Really. 92 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,600 Okay. 93 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,340 You can sign up, but I have to warn you... 94 00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:49,390 You'll be running against Nell Cavanaugh. 95 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,470 So? 96 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,220 She's well-liked by the student body. 97 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:54,700 So? 98 00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,830 These elections tend to be a bit of a popularity contest. 99 00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:00,700 - So? - You're gonna make me say it, huh? 100 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:01,920 Say what? 101 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,920 People don't like you. 102 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:06,530 Well, as my meemaw likes to say, water off a duck's back. 103 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,750 Elections shouldn't be about popularity. 104 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,370 They should be about who has the best ideas. 105 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:13,670 And what's your idea? 106 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,060 Less money on football, 107 00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:16,460 more on science. 108 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,500 Really. 109 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:22,160 Guess what. I'm running for class president. 110 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,730 Good for you. 111 00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:25,340 You're encouraging him? 112 00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:27,160 He's gonna get destroyed. 113 00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:28,470 You don't know that. 114 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,170 I feel like I do. 115 00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:32,170 Well, whether you win or not, 116 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,130 I think it's great that you're trying. 117 00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:36,130 But you think I'll win, right? 118 00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:40,520 God's listening, Mom. 119 00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:42,530 I think it's certainly possible. 120 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:44,490 Do you have a campaign strategy? 121 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,310 No. 122 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,050 Do you have a catchy slogan? 123 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,050 No. 124 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,320 Does he have a shot at winning? 125 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,360 No. 126 00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:56,190 Hello, I'd like to speak to the mayor, please. 127 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,190 My name is Sheldon Cooper. 128 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,630 I'm running for class president 129 00:04:58,670 --> 00:05:02,020 and was hoping he could give me some advice. 130 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:03,240 I'm ten years old. 131 00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:04,770 But if it helps get him on the phone, 132 00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:06,900 I'm well-behaved, a straight-A student, 133 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,250 and have impeccable hygiene. 134 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:10,210 [BEEP] Hello. 135 00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:12,030 This is Mayor Harrison. 136 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,600 I understand you are running for office. 137 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,000 Class president. 138 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,080 Do you have any advice on how to win? 139 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:20,260 The most important thing is to get out there 140 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,780 and connect with people. 141 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,440 That's tricky. 142 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,180 I'm not terribly fond of people. 143 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,270 Well, you might need to get over that. 144 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,530 Assuming I can, 145 00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:30,270 how do I connect with them? 146 00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:32,270 A friendly handshake is a great start. 147 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,270 Oh, boy. 148 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,450 Now I have to touch them? 149 00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:37,450 ADULT SHELDON: Over the next few days, 150 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:39,450 I mounted my campaign. 151 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:42,330 My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm running for class president. 152 00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:43,280 Okay. 153 00:05:43,330 --> 00:05:45,330 Put her there. 154 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,290 Greetings, fellow students. 155 00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:50,030 I'm running for class president. 156 00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:52,470 Here's a button. 157 00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:55,080 Have a grown-up put them on you. 158 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,430 They're sharp. 159 00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:57,690 Hello. 160 00:05:57,730 --> 00:05:58,780 I'm Sheldon Cooper, 161 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:00,520 and I'm running for class president. 162 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,290 Yeah? 163 00:06:01,315 --> 00:06:05,520 I understand you had a baby last year. If you bring it in, I'll try to kiss it. 164 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:15,580 Vote Sheldon for class president. 165 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,140 Vote Sheldon for class president. 166 00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:21,580 Vote Sheldon for class president. 167 00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,580 Don't worry... it's a number two. 168 00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:26,890 - You can use it on standardized tests. - Okay. 169 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:29,810 And, of course, homework. I love homework. 170 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:32,200 Well, it's so nice to finally meet you. 171 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,330 I'm Nell Cavanaugh. 172 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:34,900 My opponent. 173 00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:37,550 I would shake your hand, but my mom is washing my mittens. 174 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,470 Okay. 175 00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:41,210 [CHUCKLES] 176 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,470 She was really nice. 177 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,610 She even said, "May the best student win." 178 00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:45,780 That's sweet. 179 00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:47,480 This was a great idea. 180 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,870 Children like cupcakes, and, by giving them cupcakes, 181 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,130 they'll transfer that affinity to me. 182 00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:55,400 That's another way of looking at it. 183 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,360 By that reasoning, a rich person could simply buy people's votes. 184 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,270 It's been known to happen. 185 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,230 Until my ship comes in, 186 00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:03,230 I guess it's cupcakes. 187 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,450 Georgie, check it out. 188 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,450 Oh, man, I hate that he's doing this. 189 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,240 What? It's cute. 190 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:10,590 It's embarrassing. 191 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:13,030 I would think you'd be proud of him. 192 00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:15,460 That's 'cause you're a better person than me. 193 00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:18,200 Maybe you ought to ask God to take away your anger 194 00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:19,600 and replace it with love. 195 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,120 Can I ask him to take away my brother instead? 196 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,470 Georgie. 197 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,950 Not kill him... 198 00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:27,040 Just strand him on an island somewhere. 199 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,040 A nice island, 200 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,870 with coconuts and stuff. 201 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:34,310 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 202 00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,620 [CHUCKLING] 203 00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:49,020 Nell Cavanaugh, 204 00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:52,280 it appears we're taking the mittens off. 205 00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,890 Well, that's unfortunate. 206 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,460 Oh, this goes well beyond unfortunate. 207 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,070 It's flat-out unfair. 208 00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,590 Did you not say that you love homework? 209 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,510 Of course I said it. I say it all the time. 210 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:05,600 But she took it out of context and is using it against me. 211 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,510 Well, that is what happens in politics. 212 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,390 People stretch the truth. 213 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:11,130 Well, those people are dirty dogs. 214 00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:12,390 They certainly are. 215 00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:14,390 Now, let me ask you something. 216 00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:16,350 How bad do you want to win this election? 217 00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:19,530 Bad enough to let 105 kids shake my mitten. 218 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:20,960 Okay, then you need to toughen up. 219 00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:23,400 Politics is not for the weak-kneed. 220 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,050 Are you suggesting that I fight fire with fire? 221 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,710 I am. 222 00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:30,620 So going to my room and crying in my pillow is not an option? 223 00:08:30,670 --> 00:08:31,930 It is not. 224 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:36,410 Then I have some thinking to do. 225 00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:39,370 MISSY: Oh, yeah. 226 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:40,370 You're screwed. 227 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,380 Which is why I need your help. 228 00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:43,550 Why me? 229 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,640 You're ruthless. 230 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,210 I've seen you cheat at Candy Land. 231 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,380 Thanks. Go on. 232 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:49,640 Well, I'd like to retaliate, 233 00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:51,470 but I don't know anything about her. 234 00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:53,040 Make something up. 235 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,520 Ooh, tell people she has head lice. 236 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,520 I won't resort to lying. 237 00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,830 There's a Denise Cavanaugh in my class. 238 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,570 Could be her little sister. 239 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:03,790 So? 240 00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:05,010 I'll see if I can dig up something about Nell 241 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:06,400 you can use against her. 242 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,180 Thank you. 243 00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,710 Georgie, I hate to have to ask this, 244 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,620 but are you going to vote for me? 245 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:13,970 No. Go away. 246 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,190 Are you sure? 247 00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:17,190 If I win, I can make you a hall monitor. 248 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,540 Imagine the respect you'll get then. 249 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:21,200 Get lost. 250 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:30,950 GEORGE JR.: Lord, please take away my anger toward my stupid brother. 251 00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,510 My life is hard enough. 252 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,340 Don't let him be president. 253 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,120 And while we're talking, 254 00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:38,560 Veronica... help me out. 255 00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:41,520 Encourage her to do something with me she'll regret. 256 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,090 Amen. 257 00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:45,090 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 258 00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:46,700 Remember, 259 00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:49,570 tomorrow we'll be dissecting worms! 260 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:50,830 [GROANING] 261 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,100 Ah, your sadness makes me happy. 262 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,540 Mr. Givens, I just wanted you to know 263 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,320 that I'm still working hard on my campaign 264 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,540 to get more funding for the science department. 265 00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:02,980 Oh, great, 'cause I've got to dig up tomorrow's worms myself. 266 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,590 Anything you can do to help me win a decisive victory 267 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:07,590 come Election Day would be much appreciated. 268 00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:09,070 Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, 269 00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,070 the faculty doesn't get involved in student elections. 270 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,070 Oh, I understand. 271 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,470 You have to remain neutral. Wink, wink. 272 00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:17,690 I'm sorry, wink, wink? 273 00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:20,390 You want new science equipment and I want that for you. 274 00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:23,170 One hand washes the other. Wink, wink. 275 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,910 Oh, sure, wink, wink. 276 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,610 Now you're getting it. Wink, wink. 277 00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:30,700 Wink, wink. 278 00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:31,700 Wink, wink. 279 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,750 [SIGHS] That kid creeps me out. 280 00:10:34,790 --> 00:10:37,930 ADULT SHELDON: Another hurdle in my political career was glossophobia: 281 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,620 fear of public speaking. 282 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,710 I've been known to experience dry mouth, perspiration, 283 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,110 heart palpitations, and fainting. 284 00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:46,670 A similar response to what I experience 285 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,370 around unleashed dogs. [LINE RINGING] 286 00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:50,460 Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper. 287 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,290 Can I please speak with Pastor Jeff? 288 00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:55,160 PEG [OVER PHONE]: Hold on. [COUGHING] 289 00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,510 Hey, Sheldon, what can I do for you? 290 00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:00,510 I need to give a speech at school, 291 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,430 but I have a fear of public speaking. 292 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:04,170 Since you give a sermon every Sunday, 293 00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:06,130 I was hoping you'd have some words of advice. 294 00:11:06,170 --> 00:11:08,480 As a matter of fact, I do. 295 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,000 When I look down on my congregation and I feel nervous, 296 00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:14,960 I just ask the Lord to speak through me. 297 00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:16,960 Like a ventriloquist? 298 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,530 Not exactly. 299 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,140 I think of it more as a... 300 00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:21,400 Like one of the Muppets? 301 00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:22,710 No, not that either. 302 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,750 'Cause you do look a little like Kermit. 303 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,280 Uh, okay, good luck to you, Sheldon. 304 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,280 Hello. 305 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,590 Dr. Sturgis. Can you give me any advice 306 00:11:31,630 --> 00:11:33,680 on how to overcome a fear of public speaking? 307 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,640 Ah, you know, when I was a young man 308 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:40,290 I had a terrible fear of speaking to an audience. 309 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,950 What did you do? 310 00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:44,380 Actually, it kinda took care of itself. 311 00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:48,040 One day I was, uh, playing miniature golf 312 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,740 with some colleagues and I got struck by lightning. 313 00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,870 Oh, dear. No, it was fine. 314 00:11:53,910 --> 00:11:58,570 When I came to, I found myself with the gift of gab. 315 00:11:58,610 --> 00:11:59,830 Big crowds, 316 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,750 small crowds, you couldn't shut me up. 317 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,620 I don't see how that can benefit me. 318 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,230 Not unless you'd like me to take you miniature golfing 319 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,670 next time there are clouds on the horizon. 320 00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:20,850 Everything okay? No. 321 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,680 I have to give a speech in front of the entire assembly. 322 00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:26,510 Oh. Got a little stage fright? 323 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,210 Unfortunately so. 324 00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:31,210 Just thinking about it causes my bladder to misbehave. 325 00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:33,520 [CHUCKLES] Yeah, I been there. 326 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,130 You have? 327 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,570 Sure. 328 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:38,260 When I first started coaching, 329 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:39,920 I was real nervous to talk to the team, 330 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,700 you know, give a locker room speech. 331 00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:44,660 Then, one day it dawned on me, 332 00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,180 I'm not just talking to football players, 333 00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:48,660 I'm talking to teenage football players. 334 00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:50,710 Most of them aren't listening to a word I'm saying. 335 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,710 That's an interesting perspective. 336 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,670 I'll tell you something else. 337 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:57,060 You don't give yourself enough credit for how brave you are. 338 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,500 I don't? No. 339 00:12:59,550 --> 00:13:02,640 Sheldon, you are ten years old, going to high school. 340 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,810 Everyone's older than you, everyone's bigger than you, 341 00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:09,820 but you keep at it, day after day. 342 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,340 That's brave. 343 00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,340 Any kid who can do that could give a speech 344 00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:17,040 to the United Nations if he had to. 345 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,440 Thanks, Dad. 346 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,750 I heard what you said in there. 347 00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:33,880 - That was very beautiful. - Thanks. 348 00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:36,710 I gave a similar speech to my team last week. 349 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,580 Boy, did we get our asses kicked. 350 00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:45,930 ADULT SHELDON: Emboldened by my father's pep talk, 351 00:13:45,931 --> 00:13:47,670 I began working on my speech. 352 00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:51,720 I aspired to walk in the footsteps of history's greatest orators: 353 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,020 Socrates, Winston Churchill, 354 00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:57,160 and, last but not least, Professor Proton. 355 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,030 Hey, I spoke to Nell's sister. 356 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:00,640 Found out some interesting stuff. 357 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,210 Thanks, but I've decided I don't want to stoop to her level. 358 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:06,470 If I can't win on the quality of my ideas, 359 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,690 then I'd rather lose with my head held high. 360 00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:09,950 That's really stupid, 361 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,520 but in case you change your mind... 362 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,610 All right, y'all have heard 363 00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:19,790 from your secretary candidates, your treasurer candidates, 364 00:14:19,830 --> 00:14:22,270 your vice presidents... 365 00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:24,310 It's time for the big finale, 366 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,840 the closing event, the headliners... 367 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,320 Nell Cavanaugh and Sheldon Cooper. 368 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,320 One of these two will be president of your class, 369 00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:37,330 so listen to what they've got to say and choose wisely, 370 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:40,370 which will be a whole new experience for most of you. 371 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,380 Remember, heckling will get you detention. 372 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:44,600 STUDENT: Bite me! 373 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,550 [LAUGHTER] 374 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,730 Bryan Larkin, two days! 375 00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,820 You want to try for a week? 376 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,600 I didn't think so. 377 00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,650 Nell, floor is yours. 378 00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:56,000 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 379 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:02,740 STUDENTS: Nell! 380 00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:03,920 [WHOOPING] 381 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,230 Thank you, Ms. MacElroy, 382 00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:08,840 Principal Petersen, our hard-working teachers, 383 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,190 and my fellow students. 384 00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:13,760 I'm blessed to call so many of you friends. 385 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,540 Y'all probably know everything about me already. 386 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:17,190 Lord knows I love to talk. [LAUGHS] 387 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,630 [LAUGHTER] 388 00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:21,760 So instead of going on about myself, 389 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:24,810 I'd like to talk to you about my opponent. 390 00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:27,640 Sheldon Cooper has been lobbying 391 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,120 for new science equipment here at Medford High, 392 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,900 and while that sounds wonderful, the truth is, 393 00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:38,210 he thinks our school wastes its money on football. 394 00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:40,910 [STUDENTS BOOING] 395 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,350 Do we really want a class president 396 00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:46,310 who doesn't care about football? 397 00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:49,050 STUDENTS: No! 398 00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:51,010 I know I am proud to be a Medford High cheerleader, 399 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:52,710 and I love football! 400 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:56,060 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 401 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,540 But you know the one thing 402 00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:01,240 I love more than football? 403 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:02,800 God. 404 00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:05,630 [STUDENTS AFFIRMING] 405 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,770 [APPLAUSE] 406 00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:09,330 Let me tell you another interesting fact 407 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:10,640 about my opponent. 408 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,730 Did you know that Sheldon Cooper is an atheist? 409 00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:16,690 [STUDENTS GASPING]That's right. 410 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:19,730 He doesn't believe in God. 411 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:21,610 Just keep that in mind 412 00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:23,830 when you cast your vote today. 413 00:16:23,870 --> 00:16:26,920 I'm Nell Cavanaugh. Go Wolves! 414 00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:35,880 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 415 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,840 And now, please welcome Sheldon Cooper. 416 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,930 ♪ ♪ 417 00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:53,680 [WHISPERING]: No one would fault you if you ran out the back door. 418 00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:08,960 ♪ ♪ 419 00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:23,750 [QUIETLY]: Nell Cavanaugh is... a Yankee. 420 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,320 [GASPING] 421 00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:29,060 She may love football and she may love God, 422 00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,940 but she was born in Scarsdale. 423 00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:32,590 That's in New York. 424 00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:34,550 [GASPING, BOOING] 425 00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:36,590 There's more. 426 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,290 My opponent didn't move to Texas until she was seven years old. 427 00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:42,430 In fact, in her bedroom 428 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,950 there's a pennant for the New York Yankees. 429 00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:45,950 [STUDENTS JEERING] 430 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:51,350 While I may not be a fan 431 00:17:51,390 --> 00:17:52,960 of organized religion or sports, 432 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,440 I promise, if you vote for me, I'll do my best 433 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,310 to get new science equipment for our school. 434 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,800 Uh... 435 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,970 Don't mess with Texas! 436 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,840 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 437 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,890 [CHANTING]: Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! 438 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:19,720 Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! 439 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:22,250 Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon! 440 00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:24,420 Sheldon! Sheldon! 441 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,640 [WHOOPING, WHISTLING] 442 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,030 [MUSICAL NOTES PLAYING] 443 00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:42,360 ADULT SHELDON: Before I became Dr. Sheldon Cooper, 444 00:18:42,361 --> 00:18:45,660 I was President Sheldon Cooper. And I don't mind telling you, 445 00:18:45,661 --> 00:18:47,815 they both look pretty darn good on business cards. 446 00:18:48,265 --> 00:18:50,792 One of my first responsibilities as class president 447 00:18:50,793 --> 00:18:53,355 was delivering the morning announcements. 448 00:18:53,395 --> 00:18:55,835 Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance. 449 00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:58,925 I pledge allegiance to the Flag... 450 00:18:58,965 --> 00:19:01,495 SHELDON AND CLASS: Of the United States of America... 451 00:19:01,535 --> 00:19:04,365 SHELDON AND GEORGE SR.: And to the Republic for which it stands... 452 00:19:04,405 --> 00:19:05,845 One Nation... 453 00:19:05,885 --> 00:19:08,105 Here's a fun fact about the next two words: 454 00:19:08,155 --> 00:19:10,635 "Under God" wasn't added to the Pledge of Allegiance 455 00:19:10,675 --> 00:19:11,985 until 1954. 456 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,025 My first act as your president 457 00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:16,425 is to remove the words "under God" from the Pledge 458 00:19:16,465 --> 00:19:20,905 in order to honor the separation of church and state in this public high school. 459 00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,295 PETERSEN: Okay, that's enough. 460 00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,865 SHELDON: You can't take my microphone. 461 00:19:23,905 --> 00:19:25,565 - I'm the president. - [WHISPERING]: Thank you. 462 00:19:25,605 --> 00:19:27,955 PETERSEN: All right, let's try this again. 463 00:19:27,995 --> 00:19:29,605 I pledge allegiance to the Flag... 464 00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:31,915 PETERSEN AND CLASS: Of the United States of America, 465 00:19:31,955 --> 00:19:35,095 and to the Republic for which it stands... 466 00:19:35,135 --> 00:19:36,395 One Nation 467 00:19:36,445 --> 00:19:37,745 under God, 468 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:41,015 indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.