1 00:00:00,631 --> 00:00:04,218 ♫ KRAFTWERK "HOME COMPUTER" ♫ 2 00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:06,867 ♪ I program my home computer ♪ 3 00:00:08,445 --> 00:00:10,525 ♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪ 4 00:00:10,527 --> 00:00:13,595 ADULT SHELDON: Power has always been a deadly narcotic, 5 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,730 and in 1989, 6 00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:18,666 RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL 7 00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:21,436 was my drug of choice. 8 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,072 With an Intel 8086 9 00:00:24,074 --> 00:00:25,373 running at eight megahertz 10 00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,981 and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive, 11 00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,031 there was nothing 12 00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:30,122 I couldn't do. 13 00:00:30,125 --> 00:00:32,317 From adding snazzy graphics 14 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,048 to my homework... 15 00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:35,981 So snazzy. 16 00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:37,936 To easily alphabetizing 17 00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:41,073 my list of enemies and their crimes. 18 00:00:42,179 --> 00:00:44,459 - So easy. - (DOOR SENSOR CHIMES) 19 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,820 Sheldon, time to go. 20 00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,723 We really need to get one of these. 21 00:00:48,726 --> 00:00:50,932 What on earth do we need a computer for? 22 00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:52,901 Yeah, we got you and your big head. 23 00:00:52,903 --> 00:00:55,170 But we can get so much accomplished. 24 00:00:55,172 --> 00:00:56,638 I could use a spreadsheet program 25 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,101 to keep track of your expenses. 26 00:00:58,104 --> 00:00:59,812 I do that in the back of my checkbook. 27 00:00:59,815 --> 00:01:02,976 Yes, but does your checkbook go "beep" when you open it? 28 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,379 I don't think so. 29 00:01:04,381 --> 00:01:05,789 Plus, the computer 30 00:01:05,792 --> 00:01:07,358 can organize your recipes. 31 00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:09,261 But my recipes are organized. 32 00:01:09,264 --> 00:01:10,564 On index cards. 33 00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:12,220 Like a cave person. 34 00:01:12,222 --> 00:01:14,156 Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that. 35 00:01:14,159 --> 00:01:15,671 (SIGHS) It doesn't matter, Sheldon. 36 00:01:15,674 --> 00:01:17,226 We can't afford a computer. 37 00:01:17,229 --> 00:01:19,859 Sure we can. It's only $998, 38 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:22,396 and Dave says we can buy it on easy monthly payments. 39 00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:23,492 That's true. 40 00:01:23,495 --> 00:01:24,799 Stay out of this, Dave. 41 00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:26,000 Come on. 42 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,268 We got to get home. 43 00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:29,242 - But... - Sheldon, I said no. 44 00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:30,538 I can make you a good deal 45 00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:31,539 on the floor model, 46 00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:32,437 Mrs. Cooper. 47 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,390 Seriously, Dave, you're getting on my nerves. 48 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,414 It's not fair. 49 00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,213 You bought Missy a Ring Pop. 50 00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:39,480 For ten cents. 51 00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:41,950 - And I'm worth every penny. - Let's go. 52 00:01:41,952 --> 00:01:43,340 Sorry, Dave. 53 00:01:43,343 --> 00:01:44,919 We're living paycheck to paycheck. 54 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:46,287 Move! 55 00:01:47,710 --> 00:01:49,923 (DOOR SENSOR CHIMES) 56 00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:52,927 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 57 00:01:52,929 --> 00:01:55,730 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 58 00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:58,333 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 59 00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,106 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 60 00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:11,351 - Ah, RadioShack. - Ah, RadioShack. 61 00:02:11,354 --> 00:02:13,715 Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL computer system. 62 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:17,078 Sheldon was going on and on about that thing today. 63 00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:18,887 I've never seen one so easy to use. 64 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,047 FEMALE VOICE: Greetings. Need directions back to your planet? 65 00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:23,056 This technology is more advanced than we thought. 66 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,443 GEORGE JR.: You know that movie E.T.? 67 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,628 The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott, 68 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:28,830 which starts with an "E" and ends with a "T." 69 00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:30,363 Coincidence? 70 00:02:30,366 --> 00:02:31,966 I don't think so. 71 00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:34,369 You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you? 72 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,980 So, Sheldon wants a computer? 73 00:02:36,983 --> 00:02:38,282 Ever since he could talk. 74 00:02:38,285 --> 00:02:39,540 But now more than ever. 75 00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,184 Well, he should get a job after school. 76 00:02:41,187 --> 00:02:42,254 Save up and buy one. 77 00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:44,023 Get a job? He's nine. 78 00:02:44,026 --> 00:02:45,426 I mowed lawns when I was his age. 79 00:02:45,429 --> 00:02:46,561 Made pretty good money. 80 00:02:46,564 --> 00:02:48,682 You want Sheldon to mow lawns? 81 00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:50,752 He's so pale, five minutes in the sun, 82 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,020 he'd burst into flames. 83 00:02:52,022 --> 00:02:53,480 I would pay to see that. 84 00:02:53,483 --> 00:02:54,923 Shut up, Georgie. 85 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,024 I hope you told him 86 00:02:56,026 --> 00:02:57,191 we can't afford it. 87 00:02:57,193 --> 00:02:58,566 Of course. 88 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,020 I could buy it for him, 89 00:03:00,023 --> 00:03:02,263 and then y'all could pay me back when you can. 90 00:03:03,107 --> 00:03:05,007 Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me. 91 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:07,001 Well, that was not my intention, 92 00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:08,670 but I'm glad to hear it. 93 00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,032 I can pay my own bills 94 00:03:10,035 --> 00:03:11,406 and take care of my family. 95 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,775 There are expenses we could cut back on 96 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,443 so we could afford a computer. 97 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,196 You mean like the money you give to church? 98 00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:19,347 No, I mean like the money you give 99 00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:21,113 to the Lone Star Beer company. 100 00:03:21,116 --> 00:03:22,383 (CHUCKLES) Good one, Mom. 101 00:03:22,385 --> 00:03:23,651 - Shut up. - Shut up, pumpkin. 102 00:03:23,653 --> 00:03:24,886 We're not getting a computer. 103 00:03:24,888 --> 00:03:26,854 We don't need your money. 104 00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:28,856 Where are you going? 105 00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:31,316 To get a... glass of milk. 106 00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:33,027 He's lying. He's getting a beer. 107 00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:34,543 Shut up, Georgie. 108 00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:36,279 (REFRIGERATOR OPENS) 109 00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:43,571 Mom? 110 00:03:43,573 --> 00:03:46,140 Why are you still up? 111 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:49,177 Madame Curie is on the roof, 112 00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:52,160 and she's not wearing her hat. 113 00:03:52,163 --> 00:03:53,781 You're just dreaming, baby. 114 00:03:53,783 --> 00:03:57,048 But she'll be cold without her hat. 115 00:03:57,051 --> 00:03:59,520 I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep. 116 00:03:59,522 --> 00:04:01,022 Mm, thanks, Mom. 117 00:04:01,024 --> 00:04:02,924 You're the best. 118 00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,073 Oh, Lord. 119 00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:18,558 (SIGHS) 120 00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:24,178 I'm guessing we're not having our once-a-week. 121 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,982 Sorry, I only have relations with gentlemen I like. 122 00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:30,769 Oh, come on. You know how I feel 123 00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:32,746 about your mother meddlin' in our finances. 124 00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:35,394 She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help. 125 00:04:35,397 --> 00:04:37,591 And that computer is not some silly toy. 126 00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,627 Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork, 127 00:04:39,629 --> 00:04:42,535 and I could use it to... organize my recipes. 128 00:04:42,538 --> 00:04:44,605 You already got 'em organized on those little cards. 129 00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:46,200 Yeah, like a cave person. 130 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,902 Well, it doesn't matter. 131 00:04:47,904 --> 00:04:50,204 We can't afford it, end of story. 132 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,590 Not exactly end of story. 133 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,926 What's that mean? 134 00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:56,177 I've been setting money aside the last couple of years, 135 00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:57,945 and this might be a good use for it. 136 00:04:57,947 --> 00:05:00,113 Money from what? 137 00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:01,983 You know, here and there. 138 00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:04,384 Bookkeeping for the church, 139 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,920 some seamstress work, 140 00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:07,955 birthday money from my Aunt Zelda. 141 00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:09,991 And just how much of this "here and there" money 142 00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:11,292 you got saved up? 143 00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:12,988 Well, seeing as it's my money, 144 00:05:12,991 --> 00:05:14,662 I don't think that's any of your business. 145 00:05:14,664 --> 00:05:16,330 (CHUCKLES): None of my business? 146 00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:17,532 You see every nickel 147 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,534 I make, and you got secret money? 148 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,302 It's not secret. I just told you. 149 00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:22,996 Where you hiding it? 150 00:05:22,999 --> 00:05:25,700 (SIGHS) Well, now you're headed into secret territory. 151 00:05:25,703 --> 00:05:27,770 Oh, okay. 152 00:05:27,773 --> 00:05:30,230 Just so I'm clear, my money's our money, 153 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,723 but your money's your money. 154 00:05:31,726 --> 00:05:32,625 That's right. 155 00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:34,605 Oh, good to know. 156 00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:37,985 I'm glad we're not having our once-a-week 157 00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:40,688 'cause I am not in the mood. 158 00:05:41,524 --> 00:05:42,957 Really? 159 00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:44,625 That's too bad. 160 00:05:44,627 --> 00:05:46,332 Why? Are you? 161 00:05:46,335 --> 00:05:47,768 No! 162 00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:52,133 That was uncalled for. 163 00:05:56,739 --> 00:05:59,974 ♪ Love can make you weep... ♪ 164 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,512 I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you. 165 00:06:02,515 --> 00:06:03,481 What girl? 166 00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:05,152 I don't know. A girl. 167 00:06:05,155 --> 00:06:06,387 Well, what'd she say? 168 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,657 It's hard to remember. This was months ago. 169 00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:12,120 Hey. 170 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,457 Two cases? 171 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,927 You've got to be kidding me. 172 00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,757 Don't worry, I didn't use your money. 173 00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:18,394 I used mine. 174 00:06:21,397 --> 00:06:22,463 ♪ Something so strong... ♪ 175 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,531 Finish your dinner 176 00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:24,637 and then pack a bag. 177 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,973 We are going to Meemaw's. 178 00:06:25,976 --> 00:06:27,113 Why? 179 00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:30,308 Because your mom and dad need a break from each other. 180 00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:31,777 For how long? 181 00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,713 I don't know. Just pack. 182 00:06:33,716 --> 00:06:35,675 Will I need earmuffs? 183 00:06:35,678 --> 00:06:37,211 Sure, if you want. 184 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:40,168 Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures. 185 00:06:40,171 --> 00:06:41,415 Then don't bring it. 186 00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,230 I'll just bring my almanac. 187 00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:44,852 You know what, I'll bring both. 188 00:06:44,854 --> 00:06:46,199 (EXHALES) 189 00:06:46,202 --> 00:06:47,808 Should I pack my toothbrush 190 00:06:47,811 --> 00:06:50,112 or use the one I keep at Meemaw's? 191 00:06:50,115 --> 00:06:51,559 I got this one. 192 00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,090 Nobody cares. 193 00:06:53,762 --> 00:06:55,414 I don't want to go to Meemaw's house. 194 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:56,884 What if that girl calls back? 195 00:06:56,887 --> 00:06:58,598 Fine, then stay here with your father. 196 00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:01,269 Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour. 197 00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:05,949 Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush. 198 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,833 (DOORBELL RINGS) 199 00:07:15,879 --> 00:07:17,078 Come on in. 200 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,980 Mom and Dad need a break. 201 00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:20,582 We don't know how long. 202 00:07:22,486 --> 00:07:23,818 What's he got in there? 203 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,324 Everything. 204 00:07:29,292 --> 00:07:32,627 SPORTSCASTER: First and ten in the closing minutes of the fourth quarter... 205 00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:35,163 I ain't never getting married. 206 00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:37,500 - That so? - Yeah. 207 00:07:37,503 --> 00:07:39,834 - Women are nothing but trouble. - (PHONE RINGING) 208 00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:41,403 I'll get it! 209 00:07:42,272 --> 00:07:45,006 Hello, Georgie speaking. 210 00:07:45,008 --> 00:07:47,575 Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid? 211 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,413 Who was it? 212 00:07:51,415 --> 00:07:53,214 Nobody. 213 00:07:53,216 --> 00:07:54,849 This little tiff 214 00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:56,451 between your mom and me will blow over. 215 00:07:56,453 --> 00:07:58,019 Don't make a big deal of it. 216 00:07:58,021 --> 00:07:59,120 I'm not. I'm just saying 217 00:07:59,122 --> 00:08:00,955 I'm better suited to the single life. 218 00:08:00,957 --> 00:08:02,757 And how do you picture that? 219 00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:04,893 Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral, 220 00:08:04,895 --> 00:08:06,168 where there's all kinds of choices 221 00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:07,821 and you can have as much as you want? 222 00:08:07,824 --> 00:08:08,816 Yeah. 223 00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:12,333 It'll be like that, only with hot girls. 224 00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:14,269 Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars 225 00:08:14,271 --> 00:08:16,071 you're married before you're 25. 226 00:08:16,073 --> 00:08:18,273 You got a bet. 227 00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:19,708 I feel like 228 00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:22,210 I'm stealing your money. 229 00:08:22,212 --> 00:08:26,181 ADULT SHELDON: Georgie married his first wife at 19. 230 00:08:26,183 --> 00:08:29,484 He never paid my father. 231 00:08:29,486 --> 00:08:33,086 Well, I got to tell you how happy I am 232 00:08:33,089 --> 00:08:35,724 that y'all are spending the night with me. 233 00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:38,085 Your house smells like cigarettes. 234 00:08:38,088 --> 00:08:39,188 So happy. 235 00:08:39,191 --> 00:08:40,925 Sheldon, we've talked about this. 236 00:08:40,928 --> 00:08:43,133 You don't need to announce to people how things smell. 237 00:08:43,136 --> 00:08:44,199 Hmm. 238 00:08:44,201 --> 00:08:45,567 All right, you two, settle in. 239 00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:48,094 Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce? 240 00:08:48,097 --> 00:08:49,471 Of course not. 241 00:08:49,473 --> 00:08:51,239 Are you sure? Packing up your kids 242 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:53,208 in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom 243 00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:55,577 has all the earmarks of a divorce. 244 00:08:55,579 --> 00:08:57,407 We're not getting a divorce. 245 00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:58,913 Okay, go to sleep. 246 00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:00,648 Sweet dreams. 247 00:09:08,191 --> 00:09:11,893 I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer. 248 00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:14,433 I don't think the fight was about beer. 249 00:09:14,436 --> 00:09:16,235 I think there was more subtext. 250 00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:18,166 You're probably right. 251 00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:21,511 Then again, I don't know what subtext is. 252 00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,441 I don't want to get in your business, 253 00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:28,227 but since you're getting in my bed, 254 00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:30,445 - I'm getting in your business. - Go ahead. 255 00:09:30,447 --> 00:09:32,413 When you leaving? 256 00:09:32,415 --> 00:09:34,215 Very funny. 257 00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:35,817 That wasn't a joke. 258 00:09:35,819 --> 00:09:37,719 I love you, and I love the kids, 259 00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:39,946 but I love you better living across the street. 260 00:09:39,949 --> 00:09:43,107 Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you. 261 00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,543 Oh, don't be so dramatic. 262 00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,711 It's a little spat. 263 00:09:45,714 --> 00:09:47,977 No, this was a long time coming. 264 00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:50,956 This goes to the very core of our relationship. 265 00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:52,959 I see we're sticking with dramatic. 266 00:09:52,962 --> 00:09:55,563 The minute he found out I had money set aside, 267 00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:57,305 he felt threatened. And you know why? 268 00:09:57,307 --> 00:09:59,741 'Cause it meant that I can live independent of him. 269 00:09:59,743 --> 00:10:01,672 Sleeping in your mommy's bed? 270 00:10:01,675 --> 00:10:03,344 You know what I mean. 271 00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:07,315 You gonna buy Sheldon that computer? 272 00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:09,484 Well, now I have to. 273 00:10:09,486 --> 00:10:11,167 Got it. 274 00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:23,431 You do know I still have an active love life. 275 00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:25,200 Just go to sleep. 276 00:10:30,614 --> 00:10:32,180 On this very bed. 277 00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,359 Oh, Mom. 278 00:10:39,649 --> 00:10:41,316 What's for breakfast? 279 00:10:41,318 --> 00:10:42,951 I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal. 280 00:10:42,953 --> 00:10:44,953 Mom usually makes us eggs and toast 281 00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,461 and the occasional meat. 282 00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:47,930 Well, Mom isn't here, is she? 283 00:10:47,933 --> 00:10:51,726 Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 284 00:10:51,728 --> 00:10:54,132 And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed. 285 00:10:54,135 --> 00:10:55,266 Georgie. 286 00:10:55,269 --> 00:10:56,957 Walking on thin ice. 287 00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,468 Maybe you should go across the street and apologize. 288 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:02,036 I can't do that. 289 00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:03,338 Why not? 290 00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:05,707 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent. 291 00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:07,692 What's Nixon got to do with it? 292 00:11:07,695 --> 00:11:08,727 What? 293 00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:11,546 You said "bad president," like Nixon. 294 00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:13,339 You know, this guy. 295 00:11:17,254 --> 00:11:19,053 You going to apologize? 296 00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:21,644 Dad! 297 00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:23,471 Dad! 298 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,674 If you are, bring back meat! 299 00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,645 GEORGE JR.: Hey. 300 00:11:33,647 --> 00:11:35,647 I hope you're happy. 301 00:11:35,649 --> 00:11:38,226 Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind. 302 00:11:38,229 --> 00:11:39,984 Mom and Dad are fighting because you want 303 00:11:39,986 --> 00:11:41,453 to get a stupid computer. 304 00:11:41,455 --> 00:11:43,515 What are you talking about? 305 00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:44,625 Mom wanted to buy it for you, 306 00:11:44,627 --> 00:11:45,924 Dad said they couldn't afford it, 307 00:11:45,926 --> 00:11:47,233 Meemaw offered to pay for it, 308 00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:49,246 and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch. 309 00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:51,329 I hate making my own lunch. 310 00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:53,164 I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know. 311 00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,699 Yeah, well, now you do. 312 00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:55,934 What did you get? 313 00:11:55,936 --> 00:11:58,496 A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart, 314 00:11:58,499 --> 00:12:00,015 a fruit cup, a brownie, 315 00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:03,319 and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me. 316 00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,944 I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot. 317 00:12:05,946 --> 00:12:07,819 I don't even have a can opener. 318 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:13,585 Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much. 319 00:12:13,587 --> 00:12:16,569 Your affection for inanimate objects frightens me. 320 00:12:16,572 --> 00:12:18,305 I'm glad you're happy, Missy. 321 00:12:18,308 --> 00:12:21,663 I'm even happier that I got a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'. 322 00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:23,399 MARY: Well, now, we're not exactly 323 00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:24,695 done shopping. 324 00:12:24,698 --> 00:12:27,340 Sheldon, you still want that computer? 325 00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:29,309 I thought we couldn't afford it. 326 00:12:29,312 --> 00:12:30,788 Don't you worry about that. 327 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,504 Do you want it or not? 328 00:12:32,506 --> 00:12:34,116 More than anything. 329 00:12:34,119 --> 00:12:36,707 All right, then, let's go get it. 330 00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:40,478 Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy? 331 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,146 I thought you liked it. 332 00:12:42,148 --> 00:12:44,482 Not anymore. 333 00:12:44,492 --> 00:12:46,358 (SIGHS) 334 00:12:48,655 --> 00:12:50,555 Where's the water come out of? 335 00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:53,291 Well, seeing as that's the dryer, nowhere. 336 00:12:53,293 --> 00:12:54,659 Hmm. 337 00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:57,265 So this one's the washer? 338 00:12:57,268 --> 00:12:58,529 No foolin' you. 339 00:12:58,532 --> 00:13:00,098 What are you doing? 340 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,304 Separating the whites from the colors. 341 00:13:02,307 --> 00:13:03,967 Whoa, that's racist. 342 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:06,905 How did I get a rocket scientist for one son 343 00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:09,371 - and a rodeo clown for the other? - Oh, man. 344 00:13:09,374 --> 00:13:11,876 I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown. 345 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,637 They make people happy, 346 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,780 and they see the rodeo for free. 347 00:13:17,117 --> 00:13:18,968 (SNIFFS) Mmm. 348 00:13:21,221 --> 00:13:24,088 ♫ KRAFTWERK "HOME COMPUTER" ♫ 349 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:27,155 ADULT SHELDON: The home computer I had long coveted 350 00:13:27,158 --> 00:13:29,929 was finally in my possession, 351 00:13:29,932 --> 00:13:33,266 but it was also destroying my home. 352 00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:35,699 Thankfully, it came pre-loaded 353 00:13:35,702 --> 00:13:38,436 with a program to help solve personal problems. 354 00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:41,372 FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE: Hello, I am Eliza. 355 00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:44,601 My... parents... 356 00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:48,306 are... fighting... 357 00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:50,910 a lot. 358 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,780 I see. Can you elaborate on that? 359 00:13:53,783 --> 00:13:56,187 My mother... 360 00:13:56,189 --> 00:13:59,601 bought... me... 361 00:13:59,604 --> 00:14:01,741 this... 362 00:14:01,744 --> 00:14:04,015 computer... 363 00:14:05,398 --> 00:14:06,788 but... 364 00:14:06,791 --> 00:14:11,935 my dad... says... we can't... 365 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,839 afford it. 366 00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:18,109 Do you have issues with your mother? 367 00:14:18,111 --> 00:14:20,778 Mmm... (TYPING) No. 368 00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:24,115 She... makes me... 369 00:14:24,117 --> 00:14:26,460 spaghetti... 370 00:14:26,463 --> 00:14:29,132 with hot dogs... 371 00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,455 cut up in it. 372 00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:34,225 Can you elaborate on that? 373 00:14:34,227 --> 00:14:35,693 (SIGHS) 374 00:14:35,695 --> 00:14:37,515 Are you... 375 00:14:37,518 --> 00:14:39,866 going to help me or not? 376 00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:45,937 Hello, I am Eliza. 377 00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:48,554 The future might be overrated. 378 00:14:51,177 --> 00:14:52,744 Okay, water's definitely on. 379 00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:53,711 Try it now. 380 00:14:53,713 --> 00:14:55,319 We want delicate or regular? 381 00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:57,949 (GRUNTS) It doesn't matter, just turn it on. 382 00:14:57,951 --> 00:15:00,663 Let's go with delicate to be safe. 383 00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:01,832 (DIAL SPINNING) 384 00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,888 (SIGHS) Nothin'. 385 00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:05,089 Damn it. 386 00:15:05,091 --> 00:15:06,958 Wait, I know what to do. 387 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:07,992 What? 388 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,294 Go across the street and apologize to Mom. 389 00:15:10,296 --> 00:15:12,733 I got nothin' to apologize for. 390 00:15:12,736 --> 00:15:14,991 You don't have to mean it. I never do. 391 00:15:14,994 --> 00:15:16,434 Georgie, just mind your business. 392 00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:17,804 Okay, sorry. 393 00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,480 In case you were wondering, 394 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,738 I didn't mean that. 395 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,774 See how easy it is? 396 00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,409 (DIAL SPINNING) 397 00:15:24,411 --> 00:15:27,145 These home computers are amazing. 398 00:15:27,147 --> 00:15:29,080 I could start a real bookkeeping business 399 00:15:29,082 --> 00:15:30,214 with that thing. 400 00:15:30,216 --> 00:15:32,216 And that would go a long way to giving you 401 00:15:32,218 --> 00:15:34,152 the financial independence you're looking for. 402 00:15:34,154 --> 00:15:36,320 Darn tootin'. 403 00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:39,290 Just for your information, 404 00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:41,659 Sheldon is using the computer right now 405 00:15:41,661 --> 00:15:43,494 to try and fix your marriage. 406 00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:45,129 Really? 407 00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:46,564 What did it say? 408 00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:48,599 It said... 409 00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,002 (MECHANICALLY): "Get out of your mother's house." 410 00:15:51,004 --> 00:15:52,437 - Mom. - I'm serious. 411 00:15:52,439 --> 00:15:53,671 I want a cigarette, and I'm tired 412 00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:55,139 of hiding behind the garage. 413 00:15:55,141 --> 00:15:56,974 You think I should apologize to George? 414 00:15:56,976 --> 00:15:59,644 Well, of course not. That would set a terrible precedent. 415 00:15:59,646 --> 00:16:01,112 I think you should go back over there 416 00:16:01,114 --> 00:16:02,613 to pick up some clothes for the kids 417 00:16:02,615 --> 00:16:03,952 and be all cold and distant, 418 00:16:03,955 --> 00:16:05,883 so he has to apologize to you. 419 00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:08,086 Oh, that's not bad. 420 00:16:08,088 --> 00:16:09,320 Do it. 421 00:16:09,322 --> 00:16:11,077 I will. 422 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,707 Why you drinking tea? 423 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,030 (MECHANICALLY): Get out. 424 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,812 (EXHALES) 425 00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:34,879 (SIGHS) 426 00:16:37,884 --> 00:16:39,150 Oh, hello. 427 00:16:39,152 --> 00:16:41,741 Hey. 428 00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:43,154 Were you coming back, or...? 429 00:16:43,156 --> 00:16:45,507 Just to get some clothes for the kids. 430 00:16:46,892 --> 00:16:48,554 Oh. 431 00:16:50,457 --> 00:16:52,491 Were you coming to talk to me? 432 00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:56,262 Well... yeah. 433 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,232 I, um... 434 00:17:01,796 --> 00:17:04,008 wanted to apologize. 435 00:17:05,578 --> 00:17:07,812 Really? 436 00:17:11,593 --> 00:17:13,451 Want to go for a walk? 437 00:17:13,453 --> 00:17:14,752 Talk a little? 438 00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:17,444 Sure. 439 00:17:23,396 --> 00:17:26,436 Hey, kids, come here. 440 00:17:26,439 --> 00:17:27,983 Look at that. 441 00:17:29,827 --> 00:17:33,204 It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right. 442 00:17:33,206 --> 00:17:35,421 Does this mean we're going home? 443 00:17:35,424 --> 00:17:37,457 It appears so. 444 00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:40,218 I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet. 445 00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:46,984 And this program will allow us to track our family finances, 446 00:17:46,986 --> 00:17:50,087 create a budget, and prepare tax documents. 447 00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:51,309 - That's impressive. - Mmm. 448 00:17:51,312 --> 00:17:52,857 Would you like to know how much money 449 00:17:52,859 --> 00:17:54,621 you spend on beer annually? 450 00:17:54,624 --> 00:17:56,085 - No. - I would. 451 00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,531 $936. 452 00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:01,933 George. 453 00:18:02,858 --> 00:18:04,669 If you switched to Hawaiian Punch, 454 00:18:04,671 --> 00:18:06,704 we could live in a bigger house. 455 00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:09,460 ELIZA: Hello, I am Eliza. 456 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,851 ♪ I study nuclear science ♪ 457 00:18:10,854 --> 00:18:13,382 Eliza... (TYPING) 458 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:18,516 Are... you... 459 00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:21,752 hot? 460 00:18:21,754 --> 00:18:23,888 In your fantasies, am I hot? 461 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:27,077 Oh... yes. 462 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,574 You realize you're not talking to a real person. 463 00:18:29,577 --> 00:18:31,863 Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score. 464 00:18:34,701 --> 00:18:36,672 MARY: Missy! Turn off the computer. 465 00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:37,941 Time to go to bed. 466 00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:41,005 I got to finish my homework! 467 00:18:41,007 --> 00:18:43,107 Big money, big money. 468 00:18:43,109 --> 00:18:44,742 ♪ Things are going great ♪ 469 00:18:44,744 --> 00:18:46,911 Yes! (WHOOPS) 470 00:18:48,781 --> 00:18:50,648 ♪ I'm doing all right ♪ 471 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,383 ♪ Getting good grades ♪ 472 00:18:52,385 --> 00:18:54,452 ♪ The future's so bright ♪ 473 00:18:54,454 --> 00:18:55,718 ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪ 474 00:18:55,721 --> 00:18:57,622 Hello? 475 00:18:57,624 --> 00:18:59,423 ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪ 476 00:18:59,425 --> 00:19:00,658 Hello? 477 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,427 ♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪ 478 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,951 Oh. 479 00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:17,300 - What? - Nothin'. 480 00:19:23,948 --> 00:19:26,148 Button you pull, that's stupid.