1 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,300 - Previously on Young Sheldon... - Excuse me. 2 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,280 - You Coach Ballard? - That'd be me. 3 00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:12,919 My daughter's here to try out. 4 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,140 Come on, I'm not gonna put a girl on my team. 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,439 Why not? 6 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,340 She's got pigtails. 7 00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:20,160 You're not even gonna give her a chance? 8 00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:21,830 No. 9 00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:24,349 Hey. Hello. Can I talk to you? 10 00:00:24,350 --> 00:00:25,399 Yeah. 11 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,589 You tell my granddaughter she can't play baseball? 12 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:29,489 Well, I was just looking out for her, that's all. 13 00:00:29,490 --> 00:00:31,860 Well, we don't need you deciding what's best for her. 14 00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:32,889 Or what? 15 00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:34,890 Or you and me are gonna have problems. 16 00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:38,040 - We're back! - How'd it go? 17 00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:39,529 She made the team. 18 00:00:39,530 --> 00:00:41,369 Congratulations! 19 00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,499 And Meemaw got a date with the coach. 20 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,730 - What? - It was a productive afternoon. 21 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,379 You sure you don't want me to stay? 22 00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:54,579 You promised you'd take me to RadioShack. 23 00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:56,679 Sheldon, this is a big day for your sister. 24 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,219 I'm fine, Dad. 25 00:00:58,220 --> 00:00:59,349 Come on. 26 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,919 I really don't want to go to RadioShack. 27 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,419 Ah. George. 28 00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,439 - Dale. - Hey, Missy. 29 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,859 Why don't you get out there and start warming up? 30 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,659 Okay. 31 00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:12,499 And you must be Sheldon. 32 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,669 Your grandmother told me all about you. 33 00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:16,669 We're going to RadioShack. 34 00:01:16,670 --> 00:01:18,840 Yeah, she didn't lie. 35 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:21,409 George, I figure we kind of got off 36 00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:22,939 on the wrong foot the other day. 37 00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:25,520 - Don't worry about it. - Well, I do worry about it. 38 00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:27,550 I-I'd like to take you out for a beer, 39 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:28,680 if that would be okay. 40 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,480 It appears Meemaw told him about you, too. 41 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:35,570 Sounds great. 42 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,560 - Have a good practice. - Thank you. 43 00:01:39,580 --> 00:01:41,349 It's nice that you're going to socialize 44 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:43,579 - with Meemaw's new boyfriend. - I know. 45 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:46,749 She's gonna hate it. 46 00:01:58,020 --> 00:02:04,080 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 47 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,339 Hey, Clark. Today's the day. 48 00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:09,439 It's in the back. 49 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,549 I'll go get it. 50 00:02:10,550 --> 00:02:12,039 What's he getting? 51 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,779 A direct-connect 300 baud modem. 52 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:16,179 How much? 53 00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,010 Don't worry, I'm using my allowance. 54 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,920 Plus, Clark gave me a healthy discount 55 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,937 for helping with his application to medical school. 56 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,019 Okay. 57 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,309 What's a modem do? 58 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,949 It allows me to connect my computer 59 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:28,980 to other computers that also have one. 60 00:02:28,990 --> 00:02:30,559 Why would you need to do that? 61 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,399 So I can share my scientific ideas 62 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,120 with academics all over the world. 63 00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:38,100 It's like the cybernetic version of the Algonquin Round Table. 64 00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:40,439 I don't know what that means. 65 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,099 That's okay, you're still my dad 66 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,409 and I'm genetically obligated to love you. 67 00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:49,440 Missy, how was practice? 68 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:50,619 So good. 69 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,019 Tell us everything. 70 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,789 The boys were a little mean at first, but I handled it. 71 00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:56,519 Can I warm up with you? 72 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,520 I don't play baseball with girls. 73 00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:01,159 Really? Your friend's playing with one. 74 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,359 Ooh! 75 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,669 I am so proud of you. 76 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,629 Well, I'm glad you all had a good day. 77 00:03:07,630 --> 00:03:09,350 Not just them. Guess who 78 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,669 I'm grabbing a beer with. 79 00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:12,969 Your new friend, Dale. 80 00:03:12,970 --> 00:03:14,770 Are you kidding me? 81 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:18,040 You were right, she's not happy. 82 00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:21,449 We're gonna do a little combination here. 83 00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:25,770 Here we go. Ready and out, in, up, down... 84 00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:28,069 Out, in, up, down. 85 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:29,120 Hello. 86 00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:30,249 Hi, Georgie. 87 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,269 It's Lisa, from English class. 88 00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:33,639 Oh, hey. What's up? 89 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,379 I was wondering if you could help me with our homework. 90 00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:37,889 Crap, we have homework? 91 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,429 You're so funny. 92 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:41,699 I think so. 93 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:42,899 Most people don't. 94 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,669 What's that noise? 95 00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:47,309 No idea. 96 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,770 Georgie, I need you to get off the phone. 97 00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:51,039 Hang on, Lisa. 98 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,379 I'm helping someone with their English homework. 99 00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:54,649 I don't have time for jokes. 100 00:03:54,650 --> 00:03:56,810 I need the phone line to connect my modem. 101 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,249 What the hell's a modem? 102 00:03:58,250 --> 00:03:59,780 It links my computer 103 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,049 to an interconnected web of other computers 104 00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:04,490 in order to facilitate the exchange of ideas. 105 00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:07,079 That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. 106 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,319 Sadly, that was not 107 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,279 the stupidest thing he ever said. 108 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,619 Lift, lift, squeeze it. 109 00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,819 Have you tried the meatballs here? 110 00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:19,649 They are fantastic. 111 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:20,859 I haven't. 112 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,240 But speaking of meatballs, 113 00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:24,529 I hear you're gonna hang out with my son-in-law. 114 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,030 Yeah. 115 00:04:27,070 --> 00:04:28,630 Hmm. 116 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:29,930 Oh. 117 00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:31,869 You don't like that at all. 118 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:33,569 No, it's fine with me. 119 00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:35,109 I hope you all go out and... 120 00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,359 - have a grand old time. - Oh. 121 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,759 Yeah, well, what's the matter? 122 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,939 You afraid I'm gonna find out all your secrets? 123 00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:43,649 Calm down. You're enjoying this a little too much. 124 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,149 Enjoying it? I'm loving it. 125 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,089 Look how mad you're getting. 126 00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,219 Come on, what's he got on you? 127 00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,819 Did you do some jail time? 128 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,659 Were you a go-go dancer? 129 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:53,859 Hmm. 130 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,260 Have you got a tattoo in a naughty place? 131 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,160 Can I see it? 132 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,439 Ooh! Someone responded to a theory I posted 133 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,209 on the physics bulletin board. 134 00:05:09,210 --> 00:05:11,209 He called my work flawed. 135 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,579 That's rude. 136 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,479 Let him know he can't push you around. 137 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,519 That's what I did at baseball practice. 138 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,619 I'd rather not resort to name-calling. 139 00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:21,249 It usually gets me stuffed somewhere uncomfortable. 140 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:22,450 That's in person, 141 00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:24,460 where people know you're pathetic and weak. 142 00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:25,789 That's true. 143 00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:27,959 This is completely anonymous. 144 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,590 I can say whatever I want 145 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,539 without fear of physical retaliation. 146 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,880 Thanks. 147 00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:35,500 And on that day, 148 00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:37,369 my sister created 149 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,680 the first Internet flame war. 150 00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:42,939 Ooh, that is as cruel as it is grammatical. 151 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,140 And send. 152 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,769 I tried to call you last night; the phone was busy. 153 00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,600 Oh, yeah, that was Sheldon. 154 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:58,179 Sheldon has friends he talks on the phone with? 155 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:01,830 Well, his computer was talking to another computer. 156 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,739 Oh. And the world makes sense again. 157 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,400 Morning. 158 00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:09,809 Just a reminder, I'm gonna be late tonight. 159 00:06:09,810 --> 00:06:11,900 Hanging with my new buddy Dale. 160 00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,249 Well, I hope you two have fun together. 161 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:17,019 Oh, we will. So much to talk about. 162 00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:19,380 You better respect her privacy. 163 00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:21,369 Oh, I don't plan on doing that at all. 164 00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,060 Don't you need to go to work? 165 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,179 Yes, but I don't want to leave until I know you're upset. 166 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:28,880 Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not. 167 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,969 Yeah, you are. 168 00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:33,540 Bye. 169 00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:41,929 It's just so easy. All you do is type in the Usenet address: 170 00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:46,699 "sci... dot... theory... 171 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:50,070 dot... physics... 172 00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:53,939 dot... research... 173 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:56,909 dot... quantum." 174 00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:58,709 Press enter, and it comes right up. 175 00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,419 Careful. In WarGames, 176 00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:13,529 Matthew Broderick almost blew up the world. 177 00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:15,380 The only thing I'm gonna be blowing up 178 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,460 is this fellow's flimsy argument. 179 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,760 That was one of my classic jokes; feel free to laugh. 180 00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:28,400 See? Like magic. 181 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,779 Hey. 182 00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:36,749 Uh, why are you dressed like a boy? 183 00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,819 I made the baseball team. 184 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:41,389 Oh, so you are a boy. 185 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,669 Get out, I need to change. 186 00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:56,169 - You seem upset. - I am. 187 00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:58,669 I was right? Good for me. 188 00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:00,010 Just get out. 189 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,809 Wait. 190 00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:06,709 You get picked on all the time. 191 00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:08,179 How do you deal with it? 192 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,779 Who's picking on you? 193 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,600 It doesn't matter, just tell me. 194 00:08:11,630 --> 00:08:14,639 I usually start by telling myself how much smarter I am 195 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,940 than the person who's picking on me, but that won't work for you. 196 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,490 Out. 197 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,390 Missy? 198 00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,419 What? 199 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:29,199 Sometimes I imagine that I'm an ion with a positive charge 200 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,969 and they're an ion with a negative charge. 201 00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:33,040 It's so that whatever they say bounces off me 202 00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:34,210 and sticks to them. 203 00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:38,679 Hi, Georgie. 204 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,040 Hey. 205 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,949 I like that jacket. 206 00:08:41,950 --> 00:08:43,599 Then you'll probably like my pants; 207 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,230 they're made of the same stuff. 208 00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:50,619 Well, see you in class. 209 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:53,060 Okay. 210 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,039 Veronica. 211 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,089 Hey, Georgie. 212 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:08,250 What's up? 213 00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:10,739 We're-we're friends, right? 214 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:12,079 Yeah. 215 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,350 We're just friends? 216 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,599 What do you mean? 217 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,770 Well, I've asked you out 218 00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:20,400 a bunch and you've made it pretty clear 219 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:21,790 you weren't interested, 220 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,100 but before I asked out another girl, 221 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,350 I just wanted to make sure that... 222 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,679 It's fine. 223 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:30,110 You sure? Because if it's not... 224 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,949 Georgie, I need to focus 225 00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:35,289 on my relationship with God right now, 226 00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:38,090 but I'm really happy for you. 227 00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:42,854 Okay. Cool. 228 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,146 Cool. 229 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,646 Well, guess I'll see you around. 230 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:54,687 Yup. 231 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:21,729 Well, I-I was married for 18 years and I got to tell you, 232 00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:25,199 those were the two best years of my life. 233 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,089 Ah. What's it like, you know, being single at your age? 234 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,809 Why, you thinking about it? 235 00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:32,380 No, no, everything's fine. 236 00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:35,039 - Happily married, just, uh, just curious. - Yeah... 237 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,750 Come on, now. She's not here. 238 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,229 Well, to answer your question, it's just great. 239 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:42,830 See, I get to wander around my house in my underwear, 240 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,980 and I can make whatever bodily noises I choose 241 00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:47,249 whenever I choose. 242 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:49,650 Ah. I do that now. 243 00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:51,759 Well, then, you got yourself a keeper. 244 00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:56,390 So how'd you wind up coaching baseball? 245 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,049 Well, with the sporting goods store, 246 00:10:58,050 --> 00:10:59,529 you know, I've sponsored a couple of teams, 247 00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,510 and then this year, my grandson wanted to play, 248 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,159 so it lets me spend more time with him. 249 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,400 That's nice. Yeah, I coach my son in football. 250 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,539 Sheldon? 251 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,070 Oh, God, no. Can you imagine? 252 00:11:10,146 --> 00:11:12,604 - You really scared me there for a second. - Yeah. 253 00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,359 - So you're dating my mother-in-law. - Oh, no. 254 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,769 Now, did she send you here on a fact-finding mission? 255 00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:23,529 No. No, I-if anything, she's worried 256 00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,569 I'm gonna tell you things about her. 257 00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:27,339 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 258 00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,699 Well, I tell you what, why don't we get another drink 259 00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:30,969 and let's get to it? 260 00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:34,580 Would you get this man a bucket of beer here, please? 261 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,789 I'm sorry those girls were so mean. 262 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,659 They didn't just call me a boy. 263 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:42,529 They wouldn't sit with me at lunch. 264 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,379 No one talked to me at recess. 265 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,879 Aw, baby. 266 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,259 Somebody crossed out "Missy Cooper" in my notebook 267 00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,700 and wrote "Mister Cooper." 268 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,380 Well, if that's what they're like, 269 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,560 maybe you don't want them as friends. 270 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:57,140 I don't think I want to play baseball anymore. 271 00:11:57,180 --> 00:12:00,560 If that's what you want, it's your decision. 272 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:06,919 Hello? 273 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,049 I heard your daughter's playing baseball. 274 00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:11,380 Hey, Brenda. 275 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,779 What were you thinking? 276 00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:14,409 Excuse me? 277 00:12:14,410 --> 00:12:16,379 My Billy's on that team. 278 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,379 Baseball's for boys. 279 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,159 Says who? 280 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,519 Says everyone. It's not ladylike. 281 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,580 Save some pudding for your father! 282 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,310 Aw. 283 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,659 Okay, where was I? 284 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,720 You were telling me what was ladylike 285 00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:32,919 and then yelled at your son like a dock foreman. 286 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,029 Listen, I'm just doing you a favor. 287 00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:37,399 The other moms on the team are starting to talk. 288 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,270 Well, maybe the other moms need to mind their own business. 289 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,369 Come on, Mary. 290 00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:44,039 Isn't one weird kid in your family enough? 291 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,780 You going for a record? 292 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:51,129 You're playing baseball. 293 00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:52,980 But you said it was my decision. 294 00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:54,960 It is. And you're playing. 295 00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:59,379 - There you are. - Oh, yeah. 296 00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:00,920 Connie's great. 297 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:04,110 You can have a beer with her, watch a football game, 298 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,649 joke around. 299 00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:07,280 She doesn't mind if you swear. 300 00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:10,089 In fact, that woman's got a mouth on her. 301 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,620 - I have noticed that. - Yeah. 302 00:13:12,630 --> 00:13:15,459 You know, I just realized something. 303 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:17,580 I got more in common with my mother-in-law 304 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,060 than I do my own wife. 305 00:13:19,070 --> 00:13:20,429 That's kind of creepy. 306 00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:22,569 Yeah. 307 00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,489 Let's hope the beer does its job 308 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:25,959 and I don't remember this tomorrow. 309 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,759 Well, hey, tell me something about this guy she was seeing. 310 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,479 Mm. The scientist. 311 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,940 - Really? A scientist? - Yeah, not with test tubes; 312 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,089 more with arithmetic, thinking and stuff. 313 00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:40,279 - Uh-huh. A physicist. - There you go. 314 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,419 Yeah. Nice enough fella. 315 00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,440 Always reminded me of that cartoon owl 316 00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:45,720 in the Tootsie Pop commercials. 317 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:48,729 Hmm. Well, why'd they break up? 318 00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:51,019 Uh, you know. 319 00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:52,429 You know, things happen. 320 00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:55,129 Uh-huh. What things? 321 00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,809 - Eh... - Come on, now. 322 00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:00,619 At least tell me if there's something I need to worry about. 323 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,579 Oh, no. Connie's rock solid. 324 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,409 Unless you put on a little weight. 325 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,279 - Then you will hear about it. - Ah. 326 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,610 Uh, you want to switch to light beer? 327 00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:12,219 Hey. I may have boobs, but I'm still a man. 328 00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:28,920 Well, I never. 329 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,650 Hello? 330 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,900 I'm having a scientific argument with someone 331 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,999 and I need your help. 332 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,539 I do love a good science fight. 333 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,039 Has it devolved to name-calling yet? 334 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,549 Yes. I called him a Pongo pygmaeus. 335 00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:42,880 Oh! 336 00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:44,879 A Bornean orangutan. 337 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:49,649 That is a creature who would be very bad at science. Well done. 338 00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:50,789 I know. 339 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:51,939 So how can I help? 340 00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,070 I posted a theory 341 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,679 on the collapse of wave function. 342 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,459 We've been arguing back and forth 343 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:59,230 and he's saying that my probabilities come out negative. 344 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,590 Hmm. I see. 345 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,280 Have you considered that negative probabilities 346 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,849 can still have meaning? 347 00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:08,029 Ooh, I hadn't. That suggests another idea. 348 00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:09,999 I can argue that negative probabilities 349 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,239 only show up in intermediate steps. 350 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,369 I'm gonna destroy him with this. 351 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:18,970 And when you do, feel free to call him a Scarabaeus viettei, 352 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,240 a dung beetle. 353 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,849 Oh, I so admire your mind. 354 00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:25,000 Back at you, little man. 355 00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:29,829 Can I top off your coffee? 356 00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,990 Well, that's awfully nice of you. 357 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,260 You know me. I'm a pleaser. 358 00:15:34,270 --> 00:15:36,869 You just want to know what I talked about with Dale. 359 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,600 Not really. 360 00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,739 I promise you got nothing to worry about. 361 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,200 I didn't say a thing. 362 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,170 Thank you. 363 00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:46,960 So what'd you find out about him? 364 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,179 Oh, I see how this works. 365 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:51,149 You're damn straight that's how it works. 366 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,279 Now spill. 367 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,319 Well, let's see. 368 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,179 Uh, he likes to drink, 369 00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:58,310 likes to hunt. 370 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,019 Uh, he's got a son who's divorced. 371 00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:02,089 I know all this. Go on. 372 00:16:02,090 --> 00:16:03,720 That's all I got. 373 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,970 You are useless. 374 00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:10,099 When he comes to his senses and dumps you, 375 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,030 - I'm gonna stay friends with him. - Good. 376 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,700 If he dumps me, he deserves to suffer. 377 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:22,520 Hey, Dale. 378 00:16:22,530 --> 00:16:24,279 Hey, George. 379 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,379 So, uh, she gonna be okay out there? 380 00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:28,900 Well, I talked to the other coach. 381 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,450 The boys are gonna leave her alone. 382 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,519 Hey, Billy! 383 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,989 You're supposed to be warming up. 384 00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:37,659 I found a worm! 385 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,490 Do you want to coach a baseball team? 386 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,729 You praying? 387 00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:46,369 I'm asking the Lord to watch over my little girl. 388 00:16:46,370 --> 00:16:48,600 Well, while you're at it, ask Him for a win. 389 00:16:48,610 --> 00:16:50,209 I got money on this. 390 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,340 You bet on a kids' baseball game? 391 00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:54,170 I got three to one odds. 392 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,360 Thanks to Dr. Sturgis, 393 00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,979 I had all the intellectual ammunition I needed 394 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:02,219 to bring my opponent to his knees. 395 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,820 I accused him of conflating 396 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,979 two different interpretations of quantum theory, 397 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,220 woefully misrepresenting Paul Dirac, 398 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:11,289 and when I called him a dung beetle in Latin, 399 00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:13,020 I was so riled up, 400 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,229 I almost started producing testosterone. 401 00:17:18,050 --> 00:17:19,380 Here she comes. 402 00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:20,869 This is it. 403 00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:22,269 Go get 'em. 404 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:27,770 - Let's go, Missy! - Go get 'em, Missy! 405 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:50,029 Ball. 406 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:52,109 - Whoa. - Oh! Dear Lord. 407 00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:54,289 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. 408 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,059 It happens. She's okay. 409 00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:58,260 Brush it off, Missy! 410 00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:18,529 Ball. 411 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:19,840 Whoa! 412 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,379 - What the hell? - Son of a bitch. 413 00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:23,160 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Hold it. 414 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,999 We talked about this. 415 00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:34,190 Cooper! 416 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,630 Ah, well, here we go. 417 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,800 Eat dirt. Eat it. 418 00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:40,089 Kick his ass! 419 00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:41,230 Does it taste good? 420 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,359 Huh? 421 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,880 Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass! 422 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:48,019 You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry. 423 00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,759 Do something. Break it up. 424 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,290 H-Hang on. She's winning. 425 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,289 Missy! 426 00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:56,159 Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy! 427 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,859 Punch him in the nuts! 428 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,399 Ooh, the long-awaited rebuttal. 429 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,409 "While I still believe my theory has merit, 430 00:19:07,410 --> 00:19:11,040 I will concede that your point has some validity." 431 00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:15,149 My point has some validity. 432 00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:17,850 My point has some validity! 433 00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:19,060 Yes! 434 00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:21,270 That day, 435 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,689 both my sister and I 436 00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:25,579 emerged victorious from savage battles. 437 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:28,359 Hers fought with fists, mine with words. 438 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:32,969 What does my point have? Some validity! 439 00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:36,060 Although we were both pretty sore the next day. 440 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:43,529 Ejected from your very first game. 441 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,559 I'm proud of you, slugger. 442 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,859 Thanks, Dad. 443 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:49,159 - Dairy Queen's on me. - To be clear, 444 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,400 we are not rewarding violence. 445 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,020 But I am glad 446 00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:56,349 you didn't let those girls from school bully you into quitting. 447 00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:58,700 I should rub their faces in the dirt. 448 00:19:58,729 --> 00:20:00,021 That's my girl. 449 00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:03,289 Someone's getting extra sprinkles tonight. 450 00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:05,720 Ooh, hooray for violence.