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00:00:00,312 --> 00:00:02,044
ADULT SHELDON: In any ecosystem,
2
00:00:02,047 --> 00:00:06,671
you'll find a delicate balance
between predator and prey.
3
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,429
Some well-known predators
4
00:00:08,432 --> 00:00:11,468
include Panthera leo,
5
00:00:11,471 --> 00:00:13,138
Ursus arctos,
6
00:00:13,141 --> 00:00:16,362
and star of the 1987 film Predator,
7
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:18,164
Predator.
8
00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:20,020
Now, examples of prey
9
00:00:20,023 --> 00:00:23,303
include Oryctolagus cuniculus,
10
00:00:23,305 --> 00:00:25,405
Gallus gallus domesticus,
11
00:00:25,407 --> 00:00:28,317
and weighing in at 58
pounds soaking wet,
12
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,343
Diminutive homo novus...
13
00:00:30,345 --> 00:00:32,372
Curiously, a close relative
14
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of Gallus gallus domesticus.
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♪ Two, three, four ♪
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["FIX ME" BY BLACK FLAG PLAYS]
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[KIDS SHOUTING]
18
00:00:40,989 --> 00:00:43,434
♪ Fix me, fix my head ♪
19
00:00:43,437 --> 00:00:45,879
♪ Fix me please, I don't
want to be dead... ♪
20
00:00:46,885 --> 00:00:48,051
LUIS: Cooper.
21
00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:49,462
Your stop.
22
00:00:49,464 --> 00:00:53,098
Would you mind dropping
me off closer to my house?
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You know I'm not allowed to do that.
24
00:00:55,070 --> 00:00:57,070
What if I did your taxes?
25
00:00:57,072 --> 00:00:58,679
Sorry, kiddo.
26
00:01:02,477 --> 00:01:05,244
I could've gotten you a nice refund.
27
00:01:05,246 --> 00:01:06,779
ADULT SHELDON: The perilous journey
28
00:01:06,781 --> 00:01:08,781
from the bus stop to my front door
29
00:01:08,783 --> 00:01:11,451
was 97.5 meters.
30
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FYI, insisting on
using the metric system
31
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in East Texas is another reason
I was hunted by predators.
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♪ ♪
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[PANTING] Homo novus needs a Yoo-hoo.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
36
00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:02,168
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
37
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:05,075
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:11,781
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
39
00:02:17,385 --> 00:02:18,684
Jiu-jitsu?
40
00:02:18,686 --> 00:02:21,587
I've decided to learn self-defense.
41
00:02:21,589 --> 00:02:23,387
- Why?
- I'm quite small,
42
00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:25,658
and will be for several years,
43
00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:27,660
maybe even more if I'm a late bloomer.
44
00:02:27,662 --> 00:02:30,229
Your dad's big, maybe
you'll take after him.
45
00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:31,597
We both like my mom.
46
00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:33,933
I think that's where
the similarities end.
47
00:02:33,935 --> 00:02:35,635
You know, one of the books mentioned
48
00:02:35,637 --> 00:02:37,637
a Vietnamese martial art.
49
00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:39,839
Vovinam. I'm a blue belt.
50
00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:41,974
- Wow.
- Don't be impressed.
51
00:02:41,976 --> 00:02:44,143
It's what you get when
your mom buys the uniform.
52
00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:45,912
Do you remember any of it?
53
00:02:45,914 --> 00:02:48,593
I don't even know where the belt is.
54
00:02:51,686 --> 00:02:52,852
The book says jiu-jitsu
55
00:02:52,854 --> 00:02:54,687
is based on using your attacker's
56
00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:56,028
momentum against them.
57
00:02:56,031 --> 00:02:58,791
It's just physics. Come at me.
58
00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:00,660
Like, run at you?
59
00:03:00,662 --> 00:03:03,550
Well, I'm new to this, so
maybe just walk quickly.
60
00:03:03,553 --> 00:03:05,114
And what happens when I get to you?
61
00:03:05,117 --> 00:03:07,433
I'll use your inertia to take you down.
62
00:03:07,435 --> 00:03:08,835
Okay.
63
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:10,236
♪ Hit it ♪
64
00:03:10,238 --> 00:03:12,215
♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪
65
00:03:12,218 --> 00:03:14,373
[GRUNTING]
66
00:03:14,375 --> 00:03:16,976
And when does inertia take me down?
67
00:03:16,978 --> 00:03:18,937
[STRAINING]: Any second.
68
00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:21,140
♪ I got an idea that I wanna share ♪
69
00:03:21,143 --> 00:03:23,644
♪ You don't like it, so
what? I don't care... ♪
70
00:03:23,647 --> 00:03:25,613
I don't understand.
71
00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:27,586
I'm using physics.
72
00:03:27,589 --> 00:03:28,945
[GRUNTING]
73
00:03:28,948 --> 00:03:31,125
♪ All of my followers 'cause
all I want is respect... ♪
74
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:34,794
This leg lock is called
an Outside Ashi Garami.
75
00:03:34,796 --> 00:03:36,162
What happens next?
76
00:03:36,164 --> 00:03:38,695
That depends, is this your foot or mine?
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00:03:38,698 --> 00:03:40,582
♪ It takes two to make it outta sight. ♪
78
00:03:40,585 --> 00:03:42,468
♪ ♪
79
00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:45,296
LUIS: Cooper. Your stop.
80
00:04:00,889 --> 00:04:02,555
[PANTING]
81
00:04:07,729 --> 00:04:09,162
Ahh.
82
00:04:10,798 --> 00:04:12,976
I bowled a new high score last night.
83
00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:14,164
Nice.
84
00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:17,375
- I got two turkeys.
- What's a turkey?
85
00:04:17,378 --> 00:04:19,005
It's three strikes in a row.
86
00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:20,895
Why do they call it a turkey?
87
00:04:20,898 --> 00:04:24,677
Well, when they first invented bowling,
88
00:04:24,679 --> 00:04:28,075
they used to just throw
frozen turkeys at the pins.
89
00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:30,489
Eventually, they switched to balls
90
00:04:30,492 --> 00:04:33,019
to cut down on the smell.
91
00:04:33,021 --> 00:04:34,654
Why you lying to her?
92
00:04:34,656 --> 00:04:37,089
I find it keeps my mind sharp. [CHUCKLES]
93
00:04:37,091 --> 00:04:39,225
Sheldon, breakfast!
94
00:04:39,227 --> 00:04:40,893
SHELDON: Be right there!
95
00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,866
MARY: Sheldon!
96
00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,226
Coming!
97
00:04:56,911 --> 00:04:58,177
[RUSTLING]
98
00:05:01,683 --> 00:05:03,216
Hello.
99
00:05:03,218 --> 00:05:04,793
MARY: Shelly, you all right?
100
00:05:04,796 --> 00:05:06,681
Yes. I must be a little sore
101
00:05:06,684 --> 00:05:09,388
from doing jiu-jitsu with Tam yesterday.
102
00:05:09,391 --> 00:05:11,207
Why were you doing jiu-jitsu?
103
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,193
We're boys. Roughhousing is what we do.
104
00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:17,563
[POPPING]
105
00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:22,335
- What was that?
- What was what?
106
00:05:22,337 --> 00:05:23,636
That sound.
107
00:05:23,638 --> 00:05:25,273
What sound?
108
00:05:25,276 --> 00:05:26,812
[POPPING]
109
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,445
What's all this?
110
00:05:32,447 --> 00:05:35,081
An extra layer of protection.
111
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:36,656
Protection from what?
112
00:05:36,659 --> 00:05:39,417
Sweetie, is someone bothering you?
113
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:42,288
- Yes.
- Who is it?
114
00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,059
I'd rather not talk about it.
115
00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:45,825
No, I want a name right now.
116
00:05:45,827 --> 00:05:47,039
Mary.
117
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,327
Have you been hurting him?
118
00:05:48,329 --> 00:05:50,296
Only with my words.
119
00:05:50,298 --> 00:05:51,831
Tell me who it is, Shelly.
120
00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:53,065
Mary, slow down.
121
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,734
Don't tell me to slow down.
122
00:05:54,736 --> 00:05:56,736
- Someone is bullying him.
- Okay.
123
00:05:56,738 --> 00:05:58,281
Okay.
124
00:05:58,284 --> 00:06:00,751
Sheldon, you can't go to
school wearing all that.
125
00:06:00,754 --> 00:06:02,195
Go to your room and take it off.
126
00:06:02,198 --> 00:06:03,530
Yes, sir.
127
00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:06,134
[RUSTLING, POPPING]
128
00:06:06,137 --> 00:06:07,680
You go with him.
129
00:06:07,683 --> 00:06:09,227
But my cereal's gonna get soggy.
130
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:10,950
- Go.
- [SIGHS]
131
00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:12,890
I'd like one nice morning.
132
00:06:15,089 --> 00:06:16,859
Why aren't you more upset about this?
133
00:06:16,862 --> 00:06:19,520
I am. I just think we
should proceed with caution.
134
00:06:19,523 --> 00:06:22,340
- Someone is hurting our son.
- I understand.
135
00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:24,330
But handling bullies is tricky. It...
136
00:06:24,332 --> 00:06:26,465
It's easy to make things worse.
137
00:06:26,467 --> 00:06:28,301
And what makes you the expert?
138
00:06:28,303 --> 00:06:31,237
Honey, I was a bully.
139
00:06:31,239 --> 00:06:32,538
MEEMAW: He's right.
140
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,874
You get involved in
this in the wrong way,
141
00:06:34,876 --> 00:06:37,810
and they'll take it out on Sheldon.
142
00:06:37,812 --> 00:06:40,562
Well, I'm sorry, but
I can't just stand by.
143
00:06:47,288 --> 00:06:49,422
Georgie, I need to talk
to you, and wake up,
144
00:06:49,424 --> 00:06:50,990
you're gonna be late.
145
00:06:50,992 --> 00:06:54,293
Got it covered. I slept in my clothes.
146
00:06:54,295 --> 00:06:57,433
Oh, Lord. Look, somebody has
been picking on your brother.
147
00:06:57,436 --> 00:06:58,668
You know anything about it?
148
00:06:58,671 --> 00:06:59,778
No.
149
00:06:59,781 --> 00:07:02,335
You better not be covering for anybody.
150
00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:04,236
I'm not. Most kids at school ignore him,
151
00:07:04,238 --> 00:07:05,804
and the girls all think he's cute.
152
00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:07,273
It's kind of annoying.
153
00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,675
Well, I need you to look after him.
154
00:07:09,677 --> 00:07:10,687
Why?
155
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:13,546
Because I'm your mother,
and I'm asking you nicely.
156
00:07:13,548 --> 00:07:15,047
What if I don't want to?
157
00:07:15,049 --> 00:07:17,843
I don't care, you're doing it.
158
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:21,620
How was that nice?
159
00:07:21,622 --> 00:07:24,390
So there I was flying above the city,
160
00:07:24,392 --> 00:07:26,759
but when I woke up, I couldn't fly.
161
00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:29,195
That's like the dream you had
where you were dating Madonna,
162
00:07:29,197 --> 00:07:31,161
but when you woke up, you weren't.
163
00:07:31,164 --> 00:07:32,365
Exactly.
164
00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:34,667
You ever have the ones where
your teeth are falling out?
165
00:07:34,669 --> 00:07:37,737
Better my teeth than my hair, but...
166
00:07:37,739 --> 00:07:40,606
- Sheldon?
- Over here.
167
00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:43,075
- What are you doing?
- Hiding.
168
00:07:43,077 --> 00:07:44,310
From who?
169
00:07:46,995 --> 00:07:49,020
Is Billy the one giving you trouble?
170
00:07:49,023 --> 00:07:50,116
No.
171
00:07:50,118 --> 00:07:52,218
His dad?
172
00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:53,926
No...
173
00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:56,456
♪ ♪
174
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:57,732
No.
175
00:07:59,761 --> 00:08:01,627
She's a demon.
176
00:08:05,922 --> 00:08:07,637
The little Sparks girl?
177
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,068
You're kidding. She seems so sweet.
178
00:08:10,071 --> 00:08:12,805
He says she slaps him
around, takes his lunch money.
179
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:15,296
She even put a tadpole down his shirt.
180
00:08:15,298 --> 00:08:18,621
Poor kid, he tucks in those shirts.
181
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,978
- She looks harmless.
- She's cute.
182
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:33,280
So she probably gets away with stuff.
183
00:08:33,282 --> 00:08:34,961
I'm like that.
184
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,764
I wonder if stray cats
poop in that sandbox.
185
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:39,966
MARY: George.
186
00:08:42,358 --> 00:08:44,344
You need to talk to her parents.
187
00:08:44,347 --> 00:08:45,746
Me? Why me?
188
00:08:45,749 --> 00:08:48,863
Because you're more
intimidating than me.
189
00:08:48,865 --> 00:08:50,750
That's rich.
190
00:09:00,977 --> 00:09:02,276
Hey, Billy.
191
00:09:02,278 --> 00:09:04,243
Hello, Missy's dad.
192
00:09:04,246 --> 00:09:07,380
- Is your father home?
- Yes.
193
00:09:07,383 --> 00:09:09,950
Could you get him for me?
194
00:09:09,952 --> 00:09:11,563
Happy to.
195
00:09:11,566 --> 00:09:13,820
Dad, it's Missy's dad!
196
00:09:13,823 --> 00:09:16,274
He's also Sheldon's dad!
197
00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:17,791
HERSCHEL: Well, howdy, neighbor.
198
00:09:17,793 --> 00:09:18,836
Hey, Herschel.
199
00:09:18,839 --> 00:09:20,528
What brings you by? Chickens too loud?
200
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:22,880
- Nah, they been fine.
- Good, good.
201
00:09:22,883 --> 00:09:24,765
Fried up the noisy one last week.
202
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:26,919
That shut him up.
Anyway, how can I help?
203
00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:28,536
Uh, well...
204
00:09:28,538 --> 00:09:31,505
It's come to my attention that, uh...
205
00:09:31,507 --> 00:09:34,408
Sheldon's run into a bit of
trouble with your daughter.
206
00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:35,943
What kind of trouble?
207
00:09:35,945 --> 00:09:38,913
He says she been beating on him.
208
00:09:38,915 --> 00:09:42,082
- My Bobbi?
- Yeah.
209
00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:43,851
This one? The six-year-old?
210
00:09:45,288 --> 00:09:46,587
Bobbi, get over here!
211
00:09:46,589 --> 00:09:49,957
You realize I've taken
dumps bigger than this kid.
212
00:09:49,959 --> 00:09:52,391
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey, babydoll, uh,
213
00:09:52,394 --> 00:09:56,024
Mr. Cooper says that you've
been picking on Sheldon.
214
00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:59,099
- Now, is that true?
- No, Daddy.
215
00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:00,634
Are you sure?
216
00:10:00,636 --> 00:10:03,537
Okay, go wash up for dinner.
217
00:10:03,539 --> 00:10:06,305
I don't know what to tell you, George.
218
00:10:06,308 --> 00:10:07,740
I mean, is it, is it possible
219
00:10:07,743 --> 00:10:09,565
your son has a little crush on her?
220
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,568
Oh, I don't think he's wired that way.
221
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:13,958
Oh, are you saying that he's a...
222
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,984
No, no, I'm saying he's
a bookworm. [CHUCKLES]
223
00:10:16,986 --> 00:10:20,220
Unless she's math or a
dictionary, he ain't interested.
224
00:10:20,222 --> 00:10:21,822
- Mm.
- Yeah.
225
00:10:21,824 --> 00:10:24,391
Thanks for hearin' me out.
226
00:10:24,393 --> 00:10:26,805
Your wife sent you
over here, didn't she?
227
00:10:26,808 --> 00:10:28,630
- I don't want to talk about it.
- [CHUCKLES]
228
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:29,829
I bet she did!
229
00:10:29,832 --> 00:10:31,131
Not talkin' about it!
230
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,633
Tell her I said hi!
231
00:10:32,635 --> 00:10:34,468
[CHUCKLES]
232
00:10:36,782 --> 00:10:38,138
How'd it go?
233
00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:40,507
Uh, good. Yeah.
234
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,977
I handled it.
235
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,446
Oh, thank the Lord.
236
00:10:43,449 --> 00:10:45,278
Yeah. Me and the Lord.
237
00:10:45,281 --> 00:10:46,758
Team effort.
238
00:10:50,486 --> 00:10:52,686
[WHIRRING]
239
00:11:02,598 --> 00:11:04,732
Hello, Bobbi.
240
00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:07,301
You told on me.
241
00:11:07,303 --> 00:11:09,336
Well, actually, my brother
242
00:11:09,338 --> 00:11:12,773
figured it out, so, technically,
I would argue that I didn't.
243
00:11:12,775 --> 00:11:14,875
Doesn't matter.
244
00:11:14,877 --> 00:11:17,444
Uh, I should let you know,
245
00:11:17,446 --> 00:11:19,146
I've read a book on jiu-jitsu.
246
00:11:19,148 --> 00:11:22,383
And I'm prepared to throw it at you.
247
00:11:25,094 --> 00:11:27,521
[SCREAMING]
248
00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:29,323
Shelly, it's just Bactine.
249
00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:31,325
Aah!
250
00:11:31,327 --> 00:11:33,883
I didn't even put it on you yet.
251
00:11:33,886 --> 00:11:35,663
[SHUSHING SOFTLY]
252
00:11:35,665 --> 00:11:37,998
You want to tell me what happened?
253
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,802
Bobbi Sparks came into the garage...
254
00:11:40,805 --> 00:11:42,375
And she attacked you?
255
00:11:42,378 --> 00:11:45,271
Not exactly. I tried
to use jiu-jitsu on her,
256
00:11:45,274 --> 00:11:46,807
but I tripped and fell.
257
00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:50,634
Aw, baby. I'm so sorry you're
havin' to deal with this.
258
00:11:50,637 --> 00:11:51,826
It's okay.
259
00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:54,372
German philosopher
Friedrich Nietzsche said,
260
00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:57,351
"That which does not
kill us makes us stronger."
261
00:11:57,353 --> 00:11:59,469
And do you feel stronger?
262
00:12:00,489 --> 00:12:02,222
No.
263
00:12:03,426 --> 00:12:04,858
How are the knees?
264
00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,427
Better, thank you.
265
00:12:06,429 --> 00:12:08,162
Good.
266
00:12:08,164 --> 00:12:10,919
And regarding this jiu-jitsu
stuff, you should know
267
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:13,454
that a man's not supposed
to raise his hand to a woman.
268
00:12:13,457 --> 00:12:16,086
Oh, I won't. I don't
want to hurt myself again.
269
00:12:19,537 --> 00:12:23,005
Did you ever have a bully
when you were growing up?
270
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:24,899
Have you met your grandma?
271
00:12:26,982 --> 00:12:29,483
I thought you said you
handled it next door.
272
00:12:29,485 --> 00:12:31,250
I did say that.
273
00:12:33,571 --> 00:12:34,688
Where you goin'?
274
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:36,454
To handle it.
275
00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:38,759
[QUIETLY]: Should've been
you in the first place.
276
00:12:38,761 --> 00:12:39,993
What?
277
00:12:39,996 --> 00:12:41,161
Good luck!
278
00:12:41,163 --> 00:12:43,697
[DOOR SHUTS]
279
00:12:43,699 --> 00:12:46,967
Way to go, Scooby! That's my newshound!
280
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:50,685
Missy, I could really use your help.
281
00:12:50,688 --> 00:12:51,772
With what?
282
00:12:51,774 --> 00:12:54,241
I'm being bullied by Bobbi Sparks.
283
00:12:54,243 --> 00:12:55,909
Hilarious. Go on.
284
00:12:55,911 --> 00:12:57,144
Madame Doo!
285
00:12:57,146 --> 00:12:58,679
That's me!
286
00:12:58,681 --> 00:13:02,451
Mom says a man should never
raise his hand to a woman.
287
00:13:02,454 --> 00:13:04,974
But I believe I've found a loophole.
288
00:13:04,977 --> 00:13:07,020
You're a woman, so
you're allowed to hit her
289
00:13:07,022 --> 00:13:08,288
as much as you want.
290
00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:09,758
Why would I do that?
291
00:13:09,761 --> 00:13:11,225
Because I'm willing to pay you.
292
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:12,292
How much?
293
00:13:12,295 --> 00:13:14,451
My life savings, four dollars.
294
00:13:14,454 --> 00:13:16,169
That's a good start.
295
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,665
Now, let's talk TV privileges.
296
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:19,933
What do you want?
297
00:13:19,935 --> 00:13:22,569
Complete control every
afternoon for two months.
298
00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,772
That's when Professor Proton is on.
299
00:13:24,774 --> 00:13:26,977
I know. Sucks for you.
300
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,743
[SIGHS]
301
00:13:33,649 --> 00:13:36,150
I'm on fire!
302
00:13:36,152 --> 00:13:37,985
[LAUGHS]
303
00:13:37,987 --> 00:13:39,353
Hello, Brenda.
304
00:13:39,355 --> 00:13:41,021
Oh, hey, Mary.
305
00:13:41,023 --> 00:13:42,055
How many lanes you need?
306
00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:44,424
Actually, I'm here to talk to you.
307
00:13:44,426 --> 00:13:47,099
Seems that our kids are
havin' a little problem.
308
00:13:47,102 --> 00:13:48,996
Yeah. Herschel told me.
309
00:13:48,998 --> 00:13:50,964
Oh, good, good.
310
00:13:50,966 --> 00:13:53,474
So, I was wondering what
you're plannin' to do about it,
311
00:13:53,477 --> 00:13:56,044
'cause the situation doesn't
seem to be gettin' any better.
312
00:13:56,047 --> 00:13:57,716
Well, if you haven't noticed,
313
00:13:57,719 --> 00:13:59,439
I'm at work right now.
314
00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:01,375
I see that.
315
00:14:01,377 --> 00:14:02,711
But you understand
316
00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:05,012
that your daughter's
being abusive to my son.
317
00:14:05,014 --> 00:14:08,382
Well, maybe your son
needs to grow a pair.
318
00:14:08,384 --> 00:14:10,317
And in due time, he will.
319
00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:11,985
But right now, I expect you
320
00:14:11,987 --> 00:14:14,154
to teach your children how to behave.
321
00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:18,287
Connie Tucker to the front desk, please.
322
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,027
Connie Tucker.
323
00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:21,562
Why are you calling her?
324
00:14:21,564 --> 00:14:23,794
You say my daughter's
harassing your son.
325
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:26,366
Well, her daughter's harassing me.
326
00:14:26,368 --> 00:14:28,302
Hey, Mary.
327
00:14:28,304 --> 00:14:30,470
- What are you doin' here?
- Well,
328
00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:33,340
I was hopin' to have a rational
conversation about Shelly,
329
00:14:33,342 --> 00:14:35,475
but there's only one
person being rational.
330
00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:37,177
[GRUNTS] Uh, and it ain't you.
331
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,279
Could you excuse us for just a minute?
332
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,551
Do you understand that
you are in the place
333
00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:46,753
where I socialize three
to four days a week?
334
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:49,156
So you care more about
bowling than your grandson?
335
00:14:49,158 --> 00:14:50,490
Of course not. I'm just saying
336
00:14:50,493 --> 00:14:52,259
maybe there's a better
way to go about it.
337
00:14:52,261 --> 00:14:54,661
Now, I'm warnin' you,
Brenda is one mean...
338
00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:56,396
I know you don't like bad language,
339
00:14:56,398 --> 00:14:59,066
but we are in a bowling
alley... One mean bitch.
340
00:14:59,068 --> 00:15:01,576
Well, I can be mean, too.
341
00:15:01,579 --> 00:15:04,271
Okay, you listen to me. You get your kid
342
00:15:04,273 --> 00:15:05,405
in line or I...
343
00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:07,607
What are you doing?
344
00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:08,642
Get out of here.
345
00:15:08,644 --> 00:15:10,277
This is my place of business.
346
00:15:11,547 --> 00:15:13,881
And now I see where
your daughter gets it.
347
00:15:13,883 --> 00:15:14,899
BRENDA: You know what?
348
00:15:14,902 --> 00:15:16,701
I have been nothin' but nice
349
00:15:16,704 --> 00:15:18,919
to you and your family
since the day y'all moved in,
350
00:15:18,921 --> 00:15:20,240
and I'm over it.
351
00:15:20,243 --> 00:15:21,755
Watching you walk around all holier
352
00:15:21,757 --> 00:15:23,131
than thou, like you're better
353
00:15:23,134 --> 00:15:24,271
than everyone else.
354
00:15:24,274 --> 00:15:25,359
Well, guess what,
355
00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:26,719
you're not.
356
00:15:28,564 --> 00:15:31,102
I'm gonna pray for you.
357
00:15:34,329 --> 00:15:37,604
She says that to me all the time.
358
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,860
I'm not even sure she does it.
359
00:15:48,202 --> 00:15:49,468
How'd it go?
360
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:51,562
I don't want to talk about it.
361
00:15:51,565 --> 00:15:53,631
[SNIFFS] Is that pine?
362
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:55,266
We're not talkin' about it.
363
00:15:55,268 --> 00:15:57,435
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- And you get that!
364
00:16:02,974 --> 00:16:04,140
Herschel.
365
00:16:04,143 --> 00:16:05,175
Hey, George.
366
00:16:05,178 --> 00:16:06,768
It has come to my attention
367
00:16:06,771 --> 00:16:09,447
that your wife went
to speak with my wife
368
00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:11,082
at her place of work,
369
00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,984
- and, uh...
- She send you over here?
370
00:16:12,986 --> 00:16:16,187
Uh, the-the important thing
is that I'm here to tell you
371
00:16:16,189 --> 00:16:18,990
that, uh, Mary's behavior
was inappropriate.
372
00:16:18,992 --> 00:16:20,725
You know, it's interesting.
373
00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:22,660
When I came to your
house, you were laughin',
374
00:16:22,662 --> 00:16:23,732
and...
375
00:16:23,735 --> 00:16:25,296
now you're all serious.
376
00:16:25,298 --> 00:16:26,765
Why is that?
377
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:28,733
What do you say we go talk about this
378
00:16:28,735 --> 00:16:30,535
somewhere a little more comfortable?
379
00:16:30,537 --> 00:16:32,303
MARY [SHARPLY]: Who's at the door?
380
00:16:37,644 --> 00:16:39,844
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
381
00:16:41,515 --> 00:16:44,015
Make yourself at home.
382
00:16:44,017 --> 00:16:45,116
Oh, boy.
383
00:16:45,118 --> 00:16:46,451
You hang out in here?
384
00:16:46,453 --> 00:16:47,552
Sure.
385
00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:48,820
Once you get used to the smell,
386
00:16:48,822 --> 00:16:50,661
it's not so bad. [CHUCKLES]
387
00:16:50,664 --> 00:16:52,236
I coach a high school football team.
388
00:16:52,239 --> 00:16:53,479
This smells like petunias.
389
00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:55,026
[LAUGHS] I like to...
390
00:16:55,028 --> 00:16:57,474
take a break from the family and...
391
00:16:57,477 --> 00:17:00,298
come out here and watch the games.
392
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,000
- Ooh!
- [CHUCKLES]
393
00:17:02,002 --> 00:17:03,322
[MUSIC PLAYING]
394
00:17:03,325 --> 00:17:05,203
Your wife don't mind?
395
00:17:05,205 --> 00:17:06,337
She don't know.
396
00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:07,839
She's scared to death of chickens.
397
00:17:07,841 --> 00:17:09,674
- Is that right?
- Once I found out,
398
00:17:09,676 --> 00:17:12,177
buildin' this coop was a no-brainer.
399
00:17:12,179 --> 00:17:14,112
[LAUGHING]
400
00:17:14,114 --> 00:17:16,443
♪ I sure did love... ♪
401
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,387
You were gone so long.
402
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:23,755
How did it go?
403
00:17:23,757 --> 00:17:25,466
Well...
404
00:17:25,469 --> 00:17:27,358
[ENGLISH ACCENT]: One lump or two?
405
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,761
Two, please.
406
00:17:29,763 --> 00:17:31,429
Billy?
407
00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:34,099
Why would I want lumpy tea?
408
00:17:34,101 --> 00:17:35,533
Isn't he pretty?
409
00:17:35,535 --> 00:17:36,701
Very pretty.
410
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:38,970
I feel pretty.
411
00:17:38,972 --> 00:17:43,308
♪ Girl, you know it's true ♪
412
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:45,376
♪ My love... ♪
413
00:17:45,378 --> 00:17:47,245
I handled it.
414
00:17:47,247 --> 00:17:49,314
Thank you so much.
415
00:17:49,316 --> 00:17:51,028
We're family. It's what we do.
416
00:17:52,752 --> 00:17:55,854
[HERSCHEL AND GEORGE SR. CHUCKLING]
417
00:17:55,856 --> 00:17:58,523
Listen, I'm sorry my wife
went down to the bowling alley.
418
00:17:58,525 --> 00:18:01,536
Please, I'm sorry Brenda
made me come to your door.
419
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,672
I'm not.
420
00:18:02,675 --> 00:18:05,063
This is the most fun I've had all week.
421
00:18:05,065 --> 00:18:08,263
I-I feel bad about the
whole thing with the kids.
422
00:18:08,266 --> 00:18:10,167
Hey, it happens.
423
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,904
I know, but Bobbi shouldn't be
beatin' on Sheldon like that.
424
00:18:12,906 --> 00:18:14,643
- It's not okay.
- What's not okay
425
00:18:14,646 --> 00:18:16,941
is Sheldon gettin' beat
up by a little girl.
426
00:18:16,943 --> 00:18:18,409
Well...
427
00:18:18,411 --> 00:18:19,711
Yeah.
428
00:18:19,713 --> 00:18:21,546
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
429
00:18:21,548 --> 00:18:23,540
Look, I'll talk to Bobbi.
430
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,643
I don't know if it'll
help, but I'll try.
431
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,952
- Hey, you're a good man.
- Mm.
432
00:18:27,954 --> 00:18:30,421
Yeah, I-I should be headin' back.
433
00:18:30,423 --> 00:18:31,755
Mm.
434
00:18:31,758 --> 00:18:34,425
All right, well, look,
come on by anytime.
435
00:18:34,427 --> 00:18:35,994
Yeah.
436
00:18:35,996 --> 00:18:38,697
You know, we should obably
get our stories straight
437
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,732
before we talk to our respective...
438
00:18:40,734 --> 00:18:42,435
- mates.
- Sure.
439
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,269
What do you want to say?
440
00:18:44,271 --> 00:18:45,937
How 'bout this?
441
00:18:45,939 --> 00:18:47,939
We had words,
442
00:18:47,941 --> 00:18:49,674
it almost got ugly,
443
00:18:49,676 --> 00:18:51,142
but we came to an understanding.
444
00:18:51,144 --> 00:18:52,255
- I like that.
- Yeah.
445
00:18:52,258 --> 00:18:53,558
You want to take a swing at me?
446
00:18:53,561 --> 00:18:54,626
Make it look real?
447
00:18:54,629 --> 00:18:58,115
I have a freakishly
high tolerance for pain.
448
00:18:58,118 --> 00:19:00,411
No, no. But you're sweet for offering.
449
00:19:00,414 --> 00:19:03,081
- You have a good night.
- You, too, pal. [CHUCKLES]
450
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:04,388
BRENDA: Herschel!
451
00:19:04,391 --> 00:19:06,244
Where the hell are you?!
452
00:19:06,247 --> 00:19:07,559
Shh.
453
00:19:07,561 --> 00:19:10,128
[QUIETLY]: I built a
hidey-hole under here,
454
00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:13,398
but there's only room for one of us.
455
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,767
Where is that fat dumb-ass?
456
00:19:15,769 --> 00:19:19,571
Believe it or not, that means
I'm gettin' lucky tonight.
457
00:19:19,573 --> 00:19:22,106
Y'all have an odd relationship.
458
00:19:22,108 --> 00:19:24,842
Love is a mysterious thing.
459
00:19:24,844 --> 00:19:26,614
BRENDA: Herschel!
460
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:33,851
ADULT SHELDON: Existing in a
world of predators isn't easy,
461
00:19:33,854 --> 00:19:37,225
but we prey have developed
several natural defenses
462
00:19:37,228 --> 00:19:38,494
to help us survive.
463
00:19:38,497 --> 00:19:40,024
There's playing dead,
464
00:19:40,027 --> 00:19:42,480
- warning calls, camouflage...
- [BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
465
00:19:42,483 --> 00:19:44,396
♪ ♪
466
00:19:44,398 --> 00:19:47,299
And, last but certainly not least,
467
00:19:47,301 --> 00:19:48,967
good old-fashioned running away.
468
00:19:48,969 --> 00:19:50,302
[SCREAMING]
469
00:19:55,876 --> 00:19:58,131
A little screaming never hurts either.
470
00:19:59,256 --> 00:20:02,327
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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