1 00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:03,170 Previously on Young Sheldon... Hello. 2 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,172 I'm here for tutoring with Sheldon. 3 00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:08,643 Oh, he's helping you? Isn't that nice? 4 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,043 I'm tutoring him. 5 00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:11,813 Come on. I just gave you a hint. 6 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,715 We solve for the geodesics. 7 00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:15,115 Wrong. Ow! 8 00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:18,352 What? 9 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:21,756 Sorry, just a funny part of the Bible. 10 00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:24,959 Oh, Shelly, 11 00:00:24,993 --> 00:00:27,060 you got a package from your little friend. 12 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,462 Dr. Sturgis sent me something? He's so cute. 13 00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,632 No, your tutor friend from Germany. 14 00:00:30,665 --> 00:00:33,066 Mei-Tung was not my tutor, she just assisted me 15 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,802 in learning things I didn't understand yet. 16 00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:36,538 What'd you get? 17 00:00:36,571 --> 00:00:37,939 It's the latest issue 18 00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,674 of the International Physics Review. 19 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,208 "Sheldon, check out page 58. 20 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,409 "I never thought I'd be published 21 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,211 in such a prestigious journal." 22 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,613 Wow, good for her. 23 00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:47,481 Good for her? What kind of monster sends mail 24 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,817 across multiple time zones just to rub their success in my face? 25 00:00:49,851 --> 00:00:52,152 Indulging the ramblings of a child. 26 00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:55,055 My respect for this esteemed journal is plummeting. 27 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:56,891 Oh, my. 28 00:00:56,925 --> 00:00:58,225 What is it? 29 00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:00,427 It's the paper I wrote with Mei-Tung. 30 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:01,963 I'm the coauthor of an article 31 00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,965 in a highly esteemed physics journal. 32 00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,099 Well, that's neat, Sheldon. 33 00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,635 Neat is a robot that doesn't look like a truck 34 00:01:07,669 --> 00:01:08,770 that turns into a truck. 35 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,103 This treatise revolutionizes 36 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,873 the theory of manifolds. 37 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,908 What word would you like me to use? 38 00:01:13,942 --> 00:01:16,143 How about... transformative? 39 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,478 Sheldon, that's transformative. 40 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,080 Thank you. 41 00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:22,850 Hey. Hey, how was school? 42 00:01:22,884 --> 00:01:24,184 Good. I got an "A." 43 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:27,021 That's amazing! 44 00:01:27,055 --> 00:01:28,288 She gets an "amazing"? 45 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,857 All-all she did was color inside the lines. 46 00:01:29,891 --> 00:01:30,858 She tell you? 47 00:01:30,892 --> 00:01:32,727 Yes, so great. 48 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,162 Dad, I got published in International Physics Review. 49 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,731 Nice, buddy. 50 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,166 Ooh, new boat catalog. 51 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,687 An "A"? 52 00:01:59,721 --> 00:02:01,055 That's nice, sweetie. 53 00:02:01,089 --> 00:02:02,590 It's Medford from the year I was born. 54 00:02:02,624 --> 00:02:05,026 Aren't we going a little overboard with this "A" thing? 55 00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:07,427 Hey, some of us never got an "A." 56 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,597 Really? Not even one? 57 00:02:11,099 --> 00:02:13,067 If only they graded lunch. 58 00:02:13,101 --> 00:02:15,503 I'll have you know, I love my body. 59 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,038 Shelly, 60 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,373 tell your meemaw about your fancy article. 61 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,909 Gladly. As an alternative to the Calabi-Yau manifold, 62 00:02:21,943 --> 00:02:23,443 we've come up with a new shape 63 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,445 to compactify the extra dimensions in string theory. 64 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,116 Well... 65 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,550 hot dog. 66 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,053 Hot dog? 67 00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,088 Maybe explain it a little more simply. 68 00:02:34,122 --> 00:02:35,790 She means dumb it down. 69 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,358 Hey. But, yeah. 70 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,728 You know how a Mobius strip generalized 71 00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:42,563 to the third dimension is a Klein bottle? 72 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,731 Dumber. 73 00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:45,332 A Mobius strip is a two-dimensional manifold 74 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,434 that's embedded in... Dumber. 75 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,537 Do you know what a square is? 76 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,139 Yes. Cube? 77 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,472 Of course. 78 00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:55,409 Then you know what a C-8 octachoron is. 79 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,344 And for your information, I've lost a little weight. 80 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,949 You got to eat them Cheerios, 81 00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:03,350 they're good for you. 82 00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:04,852 You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. 83 00:03:04,886 --> 00:03:06,353 Now, Cocoa Puffs 84 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,656 got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em. 85 00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:11,826 Maybe she'd like some bananas or some applesauce? 86 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,260 She don't like none of that. 87 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,829 Any of that. 88 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,229 Any of what? 89 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,365 She doesn't like any of that. 90 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:19,767 That's what I said. 91 00:03:19,801 --> 00:03:22,335 No, you said, "She don't like none of that." 92 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,438 We're sayin' the same thang. 93 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,775 No, we're saying the same thing. 94 00:03:27,809 --> 00:03:28,843 Exactly. 95 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,977 And we aren't. 96 00:03:30,011 --> 00:03:30,978 We ain't? 97 00:03:31,012 --> 00:03:32,513 I just think you may want to try 98 00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:35,616 speaking more properly in front of your daughter. 99 00:03:36,818 --> 00:03:38,452 Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk. 100 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,887 Lotta people talk like me. 101 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,657 True, but maybe CeeCee will have 102 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,927 better opportunities in life if she's well-spoken. 103 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,062 She don't even talk yet. 104 00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:50,798 No, she doesn't. 105 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,967 But she's listening and she's learning, 106 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,403 and we don't want her first word to be "dang it." 107 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:57,672 Better that than whatever 108 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,339 the snooty version of "dang it" is. 109 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,075 It's "darn it." 110 00:04:01,109 --> 00:04:02,844 Dang it, I knew that. 111 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,780 Remarkable work. 112 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,148 Well done, lad. 113 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:09,349 Yes, first paper published at 14. 114 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,619 Oh. You're officially a wunderkind. 115 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,921 Did you catch my sly in-joke about a tesseract? 116 00:04:13,955 --> 00:04:15,489 Did I? 117 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,657 I did. 118 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:17,892 Did you? 119 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,459 I don't know. 120 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,662 It's refreshing to talk to people who appreciate my work. 121 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:23,865 Appreciate it, understand it, 122 00:04:23,898 --> 00:04:27,034 and are inspired by it. Ditto, ditto and ditto. 123 00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:30,437 And I'm sure your family is very proud. 124 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:31,906 Yes, but not just me. 125 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,575 Childish maps, impregnating a woman out of wedlock-- 126 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:36,409 they're proud of all their kids. 127 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:40,982 The important thing is, that kid belongs to us. 128 00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,784 He is our cash cow. 129 00:04:42,817 --> 00:04:44,118 Okay. 130 00:04:44,152 --> 00:04:45,620 Explain this to me so I sound like I know 131 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,922 what I'm talking about when I shake the donor tree. 132 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:52,226 Well, young Mr. Cooper has reimagined string theory. 133 00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:54,996 And compactified dimensions 134 00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:56,197 like nobody's business. 135 00:04:57,632 --> 00:05:00,268 You don't understand this, do you? 136 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,903 No. Not really. 137 00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:04,605 I mean, we get what he's trying to do. Absolutely. 138 00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:07,340 No, we don't really understand it. Not a bit. 139 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:10,278 So two of the top minds at our school are 140 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,746 flummoxed by a 14-year-old. 141 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,081 Well, "flummoxed" is a strong word. 142 00:05:14,115 --> 00:05:15,950 But accurate. Accurate. 143 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:19,086 Mm-hmm. Okay, maybe I can sell this by saying 144 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,122 that this is so advanced 145 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,490 that even other brilliant scientists 146 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,892 don't understand it. 147 00:05:24,926 --> 00:05:25,960 Sexy. 148 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,061 Don't do that. 149 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,600 Hello? 150 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,367 This is she. 151 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,772 Oh, really? Who is it? 152 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,439 If it's a guy about a boat, hang up. 153 00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,843 One moment, please. It's Princeton. 154 00:05:41,876 --> 00:05:44,377 They want to talk about Sheldon going to grad school. 155 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:45,646 Ooh, what are they offering? 156 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,148 I don't know. Full-ride? 157 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,116 I said I don't know. Well, ask 'em. 158 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,318 I will if you'll shut up. 159 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,419 Okay, but I wouldn't use that tone. 160 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:56,557 I'll get it. Remember, cash is king. 161 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,528 Well, howdy. 162 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,129 Is this the Cooper residence? 163 00:06:02,163 --> 00:06:03,297 It is. 164 00:06:03,331 --> 00:06:05,398 Phil Lambert, Stanford University. 165 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,467 I was just passing through Medford 166 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:11,404 and I would love to talk to you about your son's future. 167 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,908 Come on in, Phil. 168 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,078 Hey, Mare, 169 00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:19,780 tell Princeton, Stanford's passing through. 170 00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:27,088 Well, thanks for stopping by. 171 00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:29,056 Well, I was kind of hoping I could meet Sheldon. 172 00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,291 All in good time. 173 00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:31,726 We still got to whip some of the lumps 174 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,561 out of that offer of yours. We'll be in touch. 175 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,996 Okay. 176 00:06:36,197 --> 00:06:37,598 Whip some of the lumps? 177 00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:40,334 Point is, Sheldon's gobbledygook article 178 00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:41,636 got us a bidding war. 179 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,237 George, what do you know about grad school? 180 00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:45,973 Nothing, but I do know about recruiting blue chip talent. 181 00:06:46,007 --> 00:06:48,441 These schools want him, and we got him. 182 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,278 He's not a prize heifer to auction off. 183 00:06:50,311 --> 00:06:54,081 Mary, we got two average kids. Let's cash in on the smart one. 184 00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,053 Do you think I talk funny? 185 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,354 What'd my mom say? 186 00:07:00,388 --> 00:07:03,124 Just that I should speak more proper. 187 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,726 You're fine, and she should mind her own business. 188 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,930 Thanks, 'cause she's all worried CeeCee's gonna sound like me. 189 00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:10,665 Oh. 190 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,699 What? 191 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,434 Nothing. 192 00:07:15,236 --> 00:07:16,871 You know, 193 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,472 when I was a weather girl, I took some speech classes, 194 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,509 and they really seemed to help. 195 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,110 Did you used to sound like me? 196 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,914 Oh, sweetie, no. 197 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,352 Incoming, nine o'clock. 198 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,654 Well, I hope you two are happy. 199 00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:35,089 Sheldon is being recruited 200 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,091 by Princeton, by Stanford, 201 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,526 MIT, Caltech. 202 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,095 We are losing him, and you two have done nothing. 203 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,530 What can we do? 204 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,031 Those are some of the best schools in the world. 205 00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:46,434 We have a wonderful graduate program for physics. 206 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,702 Actually... 207 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,770 You're the chair of the department. 208 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:52,239 Yes, and the program is far from wonderful. 209 00:07:52,273 --> 00:07:53,774 That said, 210 00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:56,978 our animal husbandry department is first-rate. 211 00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:58,379 Fine. 212 00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,915 We have other cards to play. Uh... 213 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,551 we're near his family, and he loves you two-- 214 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,586 God knows why-- 215 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,855 and most importantly, 216 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,190 he hates change. 217 00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:12,526 I changed deodorants once. He made me change it back. 218 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,929 Apparently, I smelled too outdoorsy. 219 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,664 All right, look, we-we've been catering to Sheldon 220 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:17,698 and his family for years, 221 00:08:17,732 --> 00:08:19,400 so let's take advantage 222 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,534 of what we know 223 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:21,702 and use it to keep him 224 00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:23,270 at East Texas Tech. 225 00:08:23,304 --> 00:08:26,273 His mother is very religious. 226 00:08:26,307 --> 00:08:28,209 Someone might mention 227 00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:30,911 Caltech was founded 228 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:31,979 by a Satanist. 229 00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:34,548 Good, good. Wait-wait, is that true? 230 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:37,418 Actually, I don't care. We're using it. 231 00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,620 It is true. And again, I don't care, 232 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,922 So, what else we got? 233 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,693 Eh, with all the freeways and traffic in California, 234 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:46,894 he's gonna need a car. 235 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,029 George, he's 14. 236 00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:49,296 Right. 237 00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:51,165 He's gonna need a car and a driver. 238 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,299 We can arrange that. 239 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:53,567 So, what do you say? 240 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,036 Stephen Hawking and Sheldon Cooper 241 00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:56,237 together at Caltech? 242 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,972 It's very promising. 243 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,640 And of course, some of our alumni 244 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,442 include John Kennedy, 245 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,710 Franklin Roosevelt, 246 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,478 newly appointed Supreme Court Justice 247 00:09:04,513 --> 00:09:05,846 Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 248 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,883 That's an awful lot of Democrats. 249 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,619 Although Harvard did have some impressive alumni. 250 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,853 Bunch of presidents 251 00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:15,456 and that gal on the court. Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,992 I thought U.T. was burnt orange? 253 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,461 Oh, no, that's the University of Texas. 254 00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:23,097 We're the University of Toronto. Go, True Blue. 255 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,533 Toronto? 256 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,901 Yes, sir, we're the Harvard of the North, eh. 257 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,602 Well, you should probably get going. 258 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,004 Got a long trip ahead of you. 259 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,872 I like everything I'm hearing, but, 260 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:33,674 at the end of the day, this'll be Sheldon's choice. 261 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,609 Absolutely. Hang on a sec. 262 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,645 I see an engineering department, 263 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,514 a physics department, computer lab. 264 00:09:39,548 --> 00:09:41,916 What I don't see is a church. 265 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,418 Don't worry, we have a beautiful 266 00:09:44,452 --> 00:09:47,354 nondenominational chapel built in 1956. 267 00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:48,789 Nondenominational? 268 00:09:48,823 --> 00:09:50,624 Everyone's welcome. 269 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,234 Hello, Sheldon. 270 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,368 There's my guy. 271 00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,770 Oh, hello. 272 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,938 Is everything okay? 273 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,239 Does something have to be wrong 274 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,575 to hang out with a pal? 275 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,042 Here at East Texas Tech, 276 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,277 we're not just your faculty, we're your friends. 277 00:10:10,311 --> 00:10:11,513 In the past, you made it 278 00:10:11,546 --> 00:10:12,413 very clear that we're not friends. 279 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,814 That's just me 280 00:10:13,848 --> 00:10:14,648 giving you the business the way buddies do, 281 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:17,251 you little scamp. 282 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,086 Sorry, that was a little hard. 283 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,188 We know this recruiting thing can be stressful, 284 00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:24,391 and we just wanted to see how you're holding up. 285 00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:25,793 It's actually not stressful at all. 286 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,462 My parents have been handling most of it. 287 00:10:28,496 --> 00:10:29,697 That's great. That's why it's good 288 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,665 to have family close by. 289 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,933 Friends and family 290 00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:35,669 just a hop, skip and a jump away. 291 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,338 I don't hop, skip or jump. 292 00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:38,573 See, that's that sense of humor 293 00:10:38,607 --> 00:10:40,542 that we get but strangers may not. 294 00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:42,276 Yes. 295 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,677 Son, I know you have 296 00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,112 a lot of options for grad school, 297 00:10:45,146 --> 00:10:47,081 and I'm sure you'll make the right choice 298 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,083 for yourself and your sweet, aging grandma. 299 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,752 Who will miss you so much if you leave. 300 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,420 Moon Pie-- isn't that what she calls you? 301 00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:55,156 Yes. Sweet. 302 00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:56,857 So sweet. 303 00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,062 Hey, what you doing? 304 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,230 Reading. 305 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,699 English Grammar and Composition? 306 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,101 It's Missy's. 307 00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,970 You know, you don't have to do this. 308 00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:12,106 Well, I want to do it for CeeCee. 309 00:11:13,207 --> 00:11:14,643 Well, maybe I can help. 310 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,644 Yeah? 311 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,844 Yeah, you don't need a book. 312 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,712 Let's just start simple. 313 00:11:19,614 --> 00:11:23,450 Um, instead of "ain't," try "isn't." 314 00:11:23,484 --> 00:11:25,252 That isn't gonna be a problem. 315 00:11:25,286 --> 00:11:29,256 There you go. Now, let's work on "wasn't." 316 00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:30,324 Wadn't. 317 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,092 Wasn't. 318 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,327 Wadn't. 319 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,895 See, I'm not hearing the "S." 320 00:11:34,929 --> 00:11:37,798 That's 'cause it wadn't there. 321 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,400 So, we've narrowed it down to 322 00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:40,801 five schools. 323 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,469 We got Caltech and Stanford in California. 324 00:11:42,504 --> 00:11:44,104 The left coast. Mom. 325 00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,206 It is. 326 00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:46,240 Can I continue? 327 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,542 Also known as 328 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,909 the land of fruits and nuts. Continue. 329 00:11:48,943 --> 00:11:51,212 And on the East Coast, we got MIT, 330 00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:52,514 Harvard and Princeton. 331 00:11:52,547 --> 00:11:53,747 Damn Yankees. 332 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,016 We can't move the schools, Connie. 333 00:11:57,051 --> 00:11:58,185 There's also East Texas Tech. 334 00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,920 Is that a school that you're considering? 335 00:11:59,954 --> 00:12:02,022 I have friends there, and it's close to all of you. 336 00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:03,891 Why would you want to be close to us? Missy. 337 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,426 This is your decision, 338 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,228 but best I understand, these other schools are 339 00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:10,764 the major leagues, and East Texas Tech is T-ball. 340 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,667 Please don't make sports analogies. 341 00:12:12,701 --> 00:12:14,703 Fine. 342 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,505 These schools are like... Superman 343 00:12:17,539 --> 00:12:19,507 and East Texas Tech is like... 344 00:12:19,541 --> 00:12:21,308 regular man? 345 00:12:21,342 --> 00:12:22,910 Better, I think. 346 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,045 If you're worried about being far away, 347 00:12:25,079 --> 00:12:26,814 they're all offering to pay for 348 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,082 travel expenses so you can 349 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,684 come home for the holidays. 350 00:12:29,718 --> 00:12:31,986 But to be clear, you don't have to. 351 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,054 And we can also come and visit you. 352 00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:36,190 Ooh, free trip. I like that. 353 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,526 You were just complaining about these places. 354 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,028 I can complain on a beach. 355 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,931 This is a difficult decision. 356 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:48,035 Which is why we're all here to help you make it. 357 00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:52,139 ♪ Now, this is a story ♪ 358 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,675 ♪ All about how my life got... ♪ 359 00:12:53,708 --> 00:12:55,342 Are we not done? 360 00:12:55,376 --> 00:12:57,444 It-it felt done. 361 00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:10,924 Come in. 362 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,360 What are you doing? 363 00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:14,828 I can't sleep. 364 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,698 This is the biggest decision of my life. 365 00:13:16,731 --> 00:13:18,165 What's all this? 366 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,133 I'm employing 367 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,568 an algorithm to assigns points to 368 00:13:20,602 --> 00:13:22,169 each school so I can statistically decide 369 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,304 which is the best. 370 00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:24,572 Hmm. 371 00:13:24,606 --> 00:13:26,874 How about "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe"? 372 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:28,842 I won't miss you. 373 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,779 Same. What school's winning? 374 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,714 I've narrowed it down to Caltech and MIT. 375 00:13:32,747 --> 00:13:34,248 Geographically equidistant, 376 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,116 so the travel time home would be about the same. 377 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:38,185 Caltech has Stephen Hawking, which is exciting, 378 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,754 but he hasn't won a Nobel Prize, 379 00:13:39,788 --> 00:13:42,456 unlike Henry Kendall at MIT, who recently did. 380 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,924 What's this little guy? 381 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,760 Both schools' mascot is a beaver. 382 00:13:45,794 --> 00:13:47,061 Not pertinent to my needs, 383 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,863 but amusing nonetheless. Mm. 384 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,432 Well, if you want my opinion, 385 00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:53,467 I say pick the one that's near the beach and Hollywood. 386 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,336 I hate those. Advantage MIT. 387 00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:56,904 Where's that? Boston. 388 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,006 So, what's your gut say? 389 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,743 It doesn't say anything. It's not a thinking organ. 390 00:14:01,776 --> 00:14:04,612 Fine, what's your... Spidey-sense tell you? 391 00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:08,616 Spidey-sense warns Peter Parker of imminent danger. 392 00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:10,250 It doesn't help him pick schools. 393 00:14:11,085 --> 00:14:13,087 Well, the important thing is, 394 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,022 no matter where you go, 395 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:18,325 I'm gonna turn this room into a dance studio. 396 00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:21,061 Mm-hmm. 397 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,637 Howdy. 398 00:14:29,671 --> 00:14:30,904 Well, howdy yourself. 399 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,774 Is this a bad time? 400 00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:34,174 No, but Sheldon's not here, 401 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,976 if you were hoping to talk to him. 402 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,946 No, I was fixing to talk to you and your hubby. 403 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,615 Come on in. 404 00:14:41,683 --> 00:14:42,817 I brought you some pecan pie 405 00:14:42,851 --> 00:14:45,052 and some beer to wash it down. 406 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,521 You didn't have to do that. 407 00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:47,955 Oh, it's no problem. 408 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,657 It's my ding-dang pleasure. 409 00:14:49,691 --> 00:14:52,359 Okay. George? 410 00:14:53,427 --> 00:14:55,730 President Hagemeyer. 411 00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,097 This is a real honor, having you visit. 412 00:14:57,131 --> 00:15:00,568 Oh, stop it with that President nonsense. 413 00:15:00,602 --> 00:15:02,804 It's Linda... y'all. 414 00:15:02,837 --> 00:15:05,840 Okay, Linda, so how can we help you? 415 00:15:05,874 --> 00:15:08,008 No, no, no, how can I help you? 416 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,544 Gee, I don't know. 417 00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:10,812 Rain gutters could use cleaning. 418 00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:12,680 George. Just a joke. 419 00:15:12,714 --> 00:15:14,481 Well, it doesn't have to be. 420 00:15:14,516 --> 00:15:16,551 You got a ladder and some gloves, I'm your gal. 421 00:15:17,752 --> 00:15:19,453 And I guess that's why I'm here. 422 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,890 You know, everybody's rolling out the red carpet for Sheldon, 423 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,290 as they should. 424 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,993 But, I mean, who's looking after your needs? 425 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,362 Our needs? I don't understand. 426 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,031 Wouldn't you like all your children 427 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,366 to be college graduates? 428 00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:36,738 Wait, are you serious? 429 00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:38,907 I'm in a position to offer 430 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:42,109 a full scholarship to Sheldon's twin sister, 431 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,779 his older brother, and I understand 432 00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:46,146 there's a grandchild in the mix. 433 00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:48,750 Just imagine how expensive tuition will be 434 00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,718 18 years from now. 435 00:15:50,752 --> 00:15:53,855 Wow, that is very generous. 436 00:15:53,888 --> 00:15:55,857 No, no, no, I don't-- I don't think so. 437 00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:57,191 No, I think it's just 438 00:15:57,224 --> 00:16:01,629 giving you good, hardworking folk 439 00:16:01,663 --> 00:16:03,230 what you deserve. 440 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,466 I don't know what to say. 441 00:16:05,499 --> 00:16:08,335 Yeah, we... we'll have to talk it over a little. 442 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,438 At the end of the day, it's still Sheldon's decision. 443 00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:14,007 Oh, of course, but-but it's also a family decision, 444 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:18,212 and that is what East Texas Tech is all about. 445 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,647 Family. 446 00:16:19,681 --> 00:16:23,183 Or, as I like to say, kin. 447 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:29,691 Your mother has been helping me, 448 00:16:29,724 --> 00:16:32,527 and it has not been easy. 449 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,763 But I'm going to 450 00:16:35,797 --> 00:16:38,533 keep working on it for you. 451 00:16:39,701 --> 00:16:41,201 Okay, let's get you cleaned up. 452 00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,838 See? He's tryin'. 453 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,305 Try-ing. 454 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,610 It's nice to see. Who's ready for coffee? 455 00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:52,079 I believe you mean, "Whom's ready for coffee?" 456 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,181 Whom's? 457 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,684 Oh, let him have this one. 458 00:16:59,721 --> 00:17:01,188 Sheldon? 459 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,423 Which is better? 460 00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:04,959 One or two? 461 00:17:04,993 --> 00:17:07,327 One, two? 462 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,597 Hat I'll never wear one, hat I'll never wear two. 463 00:17:09,631 --> 00:17:10,832 Are you okay? 464 00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:12,499 No, I didn't sleep at all last night. 465 00:17:12,534 --> 00:17:13,935 For the life of me, I can't decide between 466 00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,335 Caltech and MIT. 467 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,938 No matter how I analyze it, 468 00:17:16,971 --> 00:17:17,939 how I break it down, 469 00:17:17,972 --> 00:17:19,607 they're basically equal. 470 00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:21,643 Great, then just pick the one you want. 471 00:17:21,676 --> 00:17:23,945 What I want is to not have to make this decision. 472 00:17:23,978 --> 00:17:28,215 Well, you could always stay here. 473 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,217 Maybe you're right. Maybe deciding not to decide 474 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,286 is the best decision I can decide. 475 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,120 Possibly. 476 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,354 After all, an object at rest 477 00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:36,089 stays at rest. That's just physics. 478 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:38,526 The kind of physics we understand. 479 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:40,762 Very well, I'll stay here, 480 00:17:40,795 --> 00:17:42,329 I'll work with you two, and everything will be... 481 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,431 Stop. 482 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,099 I can't do this. 483 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,836 I'm glad you said that. I'm also having qualms. 484 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:50,437 What are you talking about? You. 485 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,707 We have to do the right thing for him. 486 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:53,975 And for science. 487 00:17:54,008 --> 00:17:55,275 So, we're in agreement? 488 00:17:55,309 --> 00:17:56,978 Consequences be damned. 489 00:17:57,011 --> 00:17:59,112 Will someone please tell me what's going on? 490 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:02,149 Sheldon, you can't stay here. 491 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,052 Why? You've outgrown us. 492 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,420 Me, literally. 493 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,523 You deserve the best education possible. 494 00:18:08,556 --> 00:18:11,158 You're going to do great things, Sheldon. 495 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,461 And we're proud to have been 496 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,831 a small part of your journey. 497 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:19,199 So, where should I go? 498 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,668 Caltech. MIT. 499 00:18:25,339 --> 00:18:28,576 Mom, Dad, I've made a decision. 500 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,779 All right. 501 00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:35,315 I'm going to MIT. 502 00:18:35,349 --> 00:18:36,884 I know what you're thinking. 503 00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:38,653 Wait for it. 504 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:40,922 I'm so excited to visit MIT. 505 00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,690 Me, too. 506 00:18:43,925 --> 00:18:45,793 Proud of you, son. 507 00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:47,127 Thank you, Dad. 508 00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:53,701 Caltech? 509 00:18:53,735 --> 00:18:55,335 Caltech. 510 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,705 Told you. 511 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,711 I don't know what to tell you, Linda. 512 00:19:03,745 --> 00:19:05,212 We begged him to stay. 513 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,313 I got down on my knees, 514 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,516 and, well, John was already there. 515 00:19:08,549 --> 00:19:11,853 We did everything we could to keep him. 516 00:19:11,886 --> 00:19:15,657 I wore a cowboy hat and offered a scholarship to a baby. 517 00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,925 Ooh. You win. 518 00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:19,259 Damn straight. 519 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,695 I'd like to propose a toast. 520 00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:25,066 To our complete and utter 521 00:19:25,099 --> 00:19:26,400 lack of integrity. 522 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,635 Hear, hear. Hear, hear.