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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- _
- Absolutely not.
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But we're in Europe, the birthplace
of the modern rail system.
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It is also the birthplace
of the guillotine.
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You're not playing with that, either.
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But I'm a college senior
and I know more about trains
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- than Richard Trevithick.
- Who?
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He built the first working
steam locomotive.
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I don't care.
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You are not gallivanting around
Europe on a train by yourself.
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German children ride trains
by themselves all the time.
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When you become a
German child, we'll talk.
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Richard Trevithick?
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How does he know these things?
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Oh, George wrote me a letter.
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Dear Mary,
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hope you and Sheldon are
having a great time in Germany.
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So great.
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Got the phone bill the other day.
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- It was a whopper.
- Oh.
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I figured maybe, instead of calling,
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we should try the good ol' U.S. mail.
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Everything here is fine.
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A little crowded since the tornado,
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but it's bringing us together.
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Missy, I got business to tend to.
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I'll be out in a second.
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Is she almost done? I got to shower.
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There's a line or a hose out back.
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Take your pick.
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Count of three!
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And our granddaughter is
getting more fun every day.
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Ah-boo.
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What is wrong with you?
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It was just peek-a-boo.
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You'll be happy to know your
daughter made a new friend.
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Taylor.
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And they've been hanging out a ton.
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Where're you going all dressed up?
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I'm not dressed up, and I'm
going to the mall with Taylor.
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When do I get to meet this girl?
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Soon. Gotta go.
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Okay, let's do this.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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_
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Ooh, she wrote back.
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Saving money already.
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Dear George,
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it was really nice to get your letter.
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It reminds me of when
you were in Vietnam,
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except this time, I'm the
one in a foreign country
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and the enemy is Sheldon.
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The other day, he wanted to
go riding around Germany,
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by himself, on a train.
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But I put a stop to that.
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Good.
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_
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Shh.
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Your mom's been going
through a rough patch
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since she lost the house,
but she's a strong woman.
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You'd be proud of how
well she's dealing with it.
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Hey.
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What are you doing?
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Taking one of your beers.
What are you doing?
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Writing Mary a letter.
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Too cheap for a phone call?
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You know how much those things cost?
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Tank of gas to say, "I miss you."
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Besides, this is nice,
writing back and forth,
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kind of like when I was in the Army.
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Oh, she writing you back, too, huh?
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- Mm-hmm.
- Huh.
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What?
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My house blows away,
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I don't even get a damn postcard.
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Well, you should write her
first. That's what I did.
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Well, I'm not her cheapskate husband.
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Heads up,
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I might kill your mother
before you get back.
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Oh, 7:19 to Frankfurt.
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Birthplace of the frankfurter.
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That's a must-see.
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- Sheldon, can I get you anything?
- No.
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- You sure? Cup of tea?
- I'm fine.
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- Hot chocolate?
- Why are you badgering me?
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Whoa, what brought that on?
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Nothing. Everything's fine.
I just have to study.
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Is this about the train?
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What? No. What train?
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Are you still mad that I
won't let you go alone?
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Yes.
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Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
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Someday, when you're a
parent, you'll understand.
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I'm sure I will.
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Okay, then.
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Dear Missy, I'm sure you're
surprised I'm writing to you,
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but I have a secret and
I have to tell someone
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or my head will explode.
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Ooh.
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The other day, against Mother's orders,
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I rode a train by myself.
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What a loser.
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♪ Because you're mine ♪
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♪ I walk the line ♪
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♪ Because you're mine ♪
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♪ I walk the line... ♪
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George tells me you and Sheldon
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are having a good time in Germany.
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Things here are finally settling down.
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I moved in with Dale,
which has been great.
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He's been so supportive and patient...
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Could you play another song?
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I'm working on this song.
113
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My last nerve is what you're working on.
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Well, you got to practice
if you want to get good.
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For what? You're 74.
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You gonna play that song in hell?
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Look, this is my house,
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and in my house, I play the guitar.
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I thought you said your
house was my house.
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And in your house, there's
a guy who plays the guitar,
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and he's getting pretty doggone good.
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Oh.
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Guide's here.
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Mmm.
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Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett.
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What does she see in him?
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Women love musicians.
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Man, I got to learn to play guitar.
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Why?
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So your love for me will deepen?
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Nice save, Romeo.
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Oh, look. Another letter from Mom.
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Aw. I think it's so romantic,
you two writing to each other.
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It's just 'cause he's a cheapskate.
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It can be both.
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Well, I think it's sweet.
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Well, I can write you
a letter if you want.
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- Please don't.
- Why not?
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'Cause your spelling makes me sad.
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I can use small words.
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Dear George, I really
loved your last letter.
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Who would have thought that I
would have a love affair in Germany
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and that it would be with you.
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I miss you all so much,
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but it sounds like
everyone is doing great.
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By the way, Missy's new friend Taylor,
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is that a boy or a girl?
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Missy!
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I've included some Polaroids
of your granddaughter
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and your hot American boy toy.
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Don't feel bad for being
confused about Missy's friend.
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He is a boy, but don't worry,
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I'm on top of it.
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Taylor's a boy?
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Yes.
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So when you went to the movies
with him, he was a boy?
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Mm-hmm.
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And when you went swimming at his house,
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he was a boy with his shirt off?
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I never said he was a girl.
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No, I said he was a girl
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and you didn't correct me.
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I don't remember who said what.
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Yes, you do. And that is the
last you're seeing of Taylor.
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Dad, it's not what you think.
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He doesn't like me like that.
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He's a 13-year-old boy.
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He likes all girls like that.
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He's 15, and he doesn't.
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Fifteen?
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And he really doesn't.
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The hell does that mean?
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Oh.
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Yeah.
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So, he's like a... gal pal?
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Bingo.
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Okay.
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So, can I go to his house
and watch a movie?
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No other boys'll be there?
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Just him and me.
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All right, then.
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Thanks, Daddy.
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00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,677
It's a different world, Mare.
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I'm proud of Missy for
keeping an open mind,
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and, shoot, I'm proud of myself.
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By the way, I told my dad you're gay.
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Okay.
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00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,790
Hey.
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Have you seen my guitar?
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00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,737
No. Why?
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00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,209
I could've sworn I
left it in the bedroom
192
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:10,948
and now I can't find it anywhere.
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00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,400
That's weird.
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00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:15,829
Did you hide it?
195
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I can't believe you would
accuse me of such a thing.
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- Did you?
- Did I what?
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Hide my guitar.
198
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:25,340
♪ Because you're mine ♪
199
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:27,757
♪ I lost my mind. ♪
200
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,008
Well, give it back.
201
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,430
Only under certain conditions.
202
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:34,350
That guitar has been here
way longer than you have.
203
00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:35,848
You want to see it again?
204
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,641
What conditions?
205
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,210
First of all, if I'm out of the house,
206
00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:40,770
you can play it all day long.
207
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,313
That's reasonable.
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00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,770
I'm a reasonable lady. Number two:
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00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,170
You cannot play the same song
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00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:47,480
for more than five minutes.
211
00:08:47,490 --> 00:08:48,611
No, no, no, no.
212
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,210
That's not how practice works.
213
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,865
Repetition is the key to mastery.
214
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,659
- Ten minutes.
- Deal.
215
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,787
It's in the closet
behind the rain coats.
216
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,081
Well, thank you.
217
00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:05,252
♪ Because you're mine ♪
218
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,170
Hold on, let me get my egg timer.
219
00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:09,591
♪ Because you're mine. ♪
220
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:12,218
- Auf wiedersehen.
- Where you going?
221
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,469
Library.
222
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,730
- In Frankfurt.
- Have fun.
223
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,490
As much as I hated lying,
224
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:19,935
I loved trains just a little bit more.
225
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:25,230
Dear Mandy, there are so
many things I love about you,
226
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,080
it's hard to know where to start.
227
00:09:27,090 --> 00:09:28,170
But I will.
228
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:31,737
Sure, I could go on and
on about your beautiful...
229
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,970
B-E...
230
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:36,535
Where does the dang "U" go?
231
00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:40,450
... pretty... boobs.
232
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,030
But what's more important
233
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:44,820
is what's underneath: Your heart.
234
00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:46,585
Oh, yeah. That's good.
235
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,795
Can I cash out?
236
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,213
Oh. Sure.
237
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,631
Hey, question...
238
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:54,130
if you sneak into the bathroom
to watch a woman shower,
239
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,220
is that romantic or creepy?
240
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,598
- Romantic.
- That's what I thought.
241
00:10:00,710 --> 00:10:03,103
And when you're alone in the shower...
242
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,566
- Ticket?
- Oh.
243
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:08,670
_
244
00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:15,850
_
245
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,285
Mm-hmm.
246
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:23,690
_
247
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,150
_
248
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,570
_
249
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,040
_
250
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:37,679
Ja.
251
00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:41,460
_
252
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,510
No.
253
00:11:17,790 --> 00:11:19,720
What... What the hell?
254
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,722
- What?
- What are you doing?
255
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,110
Wh...
256
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:25,893
I'm just putting nose spray
in 'cause you're snoring.
257
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:29,230
Well, that's no reason to stick
something up my nose.
258
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:30,356
I'm sorry.
259
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,960
I mean, if anybody snores, it's you.
260
00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:35,486
I mean, just look at that honker.
261
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,154
That's not very nice.
262
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:40,532
What's not nice is
you violating my nose.
263
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,110
It's not gonna happen again.
264
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:46,150
Hey, but listen, now that you're up,
265
00:11:46,170 --> 00:11:48,840
why don't we just spritz
the other nostril...
266
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,000
Don't you dare!
267
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,760
Okay, okay.
268
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,750
And for your information,
you fart all night long.
269
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:57,910
It's 'cause of your cooking.
270
00:11:57,930 --> 00:11:59,960
Quit feeding me fajitas.
271
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:04,265
Dear Missy, I'm currently
on my fifth train ride
272
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,090
exploring Germany and the nations
273
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,400
of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire.
274
00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:10,479
It's often referred
to as a dual monarchy
275
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,810
because the Hapsburg ruler
276
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,350
was both the emperor of Austria
277
00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:14,901
and the king of Hungary.
278
00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:18,028
Speaking of hungry... strudel.
279
00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:33,350
Wait! Wait!
280
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,620
Warten! Warten!
281
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,798
That's German for "wait"!
282
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,080
As you can see, they did not warten.
283
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:43,630
_
284
00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:46,800
_
285
00:12:47,740 --> 00:12:51,090
_
286
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:52,649
Sheldon Cooper.
287
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,300
Hello?
288
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,849
I have a collect call
from Sheldon Cooper.
289
00:12:58,850 --> 00:13:00,050
Do you accept the charges?
290
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,930
Sorry, my dad said it's
too expensive and...
291
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,770
Missy, please, it's an emergency!
292
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,670
Fine. I accept.
293
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,770
Go ahead.
294
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:08,900
What?
295
00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:11,130
I'm stranded in a train station
in Weinheim, Germany,
296
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:12,200
and I can't call Mom
297
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:13,219
- because I lied about...
- Sorry.
298
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,780
- I'm getting another call.
- Wait, don't...
299
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,410
Hello?
300
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:18,580
Oh, hi, Taylor.
301
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:20,966
Nothing. What're you up to?
302
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:21,980
Missy!
303
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:23,720
Missy?
304
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,680
Missy...
305
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,460
... and not just 'cause you're
naked in the shower...
306
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,780
'cause you're naked and all sudsy.
307
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,580
It's like watching MTV,
but in the bathroom.
308
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,620
Well, I hope that didn't sound creepy,
309
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,700
but you're so pretty I
can't stop looking at you,
310
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,782
even with clothes on covered
with CeeCee's spit-up.
311
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,575
Oh, you're reading my letter.
312
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,659
I'll come back.
313
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,495
Oh, now you want to give me privacy?
314
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,539
So, it was creepy, huh?
315
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,240
It was.
316
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:55,876
Where you going?
317
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,197
Well, I'm gonna go take a shower.
318
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,672
Maybe I'll leave the door unlocked.
319
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,530
Well, all right.
320
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:09,306
_
321
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,392
It's okay, young man, we speak English.
322
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,193
But not as well as my
German, so stay with me.
323
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,148
_
324
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,470
_
325
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,600
_
326
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:31,190
_
327
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:38,140
_
328
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,713
_
329
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:44,467
_
330
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:48,120
_
331
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,640
_
332
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,130
_
333
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,300
_
334
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,940
- Oh, God!
- Dad, get out!
335
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,480
Why didn't you lock the door?
336
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,240
I didn't want to miss anything.
337
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:24,000
... I've been sitting here
staring at your picture,
338
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:26,510
thinking about all the
years we've been together
339
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:31,305
and how I may have taken you
for granted the last few.
340
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,620
I do appreciate you, I do love you,
341
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,050
and I'm sorry I don't say it enough...
342
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:39,840
or say it at all.
343
00:15:39,860 --> 00:15:43,660
So... rest up because when I get back,
344
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,652
I'm gonna show you how mu...
345
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,060
- Hello?
- Mom, it's me.
346
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,450
I know I'm not supposed to call,
347
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,455
but Sheldon called and
said he's in trouble.
348
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,207
Sheldon's at the library.
349
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,400
No, he's not. He's stuck at a train
station somewhere in Germany.
350
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,753
When did he call?
351
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,500
- I don't know. Two, three hours ago...
- What?!
352
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:07,509
You know, this is expensive,
I should go.
353
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,690
Oh.
354
00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,181
I'm gonna kill him.
355
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:17,601
What are you doing?
356
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,460
I'm gonna go sleep in the other room
357
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,920
so we don't bug each other.
358
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,564
And leave me here all alone?
359
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,399
I thought you'd be happy.
360
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,840
Well, my nose might be happy,
361
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,653
but the rest of me won't be.
362
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,029
Aw.
363
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,800
Unless you're leaving
because my snoring is so bad.
364
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:33,534
Alleged snoring.
365
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,540
Alleged snoring?
366
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:36,300
I'm going half deaf in this ear
367
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,871
from your alleged snoring.
368
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,957
Well, there must be a way to compromise.
369
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,540
Compromise? There's no compromise.
370
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,877
You won't let me spritz
your nasal passages.
371
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,780
Even if I did, that's not gonna stop
372
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:48,048
the tear gas coming out of your pants.
373
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:51,280
Onions in, onions out...
374
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:53,595
We talked about this, you know.
375
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,147
Oh, dear.
376
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,908
Uh, hello? Police?
377
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,890
Sprechen English?
378
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,220
Good, good. Um...
379
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,190
My little boy is lost
at a train station.
380
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:22,890
No, I don't know which one...
381
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:26,530
Um, he's, uh, five foot ten...
382
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,256
Well, he's little to me!
383
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,770
Never mind.
384
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,386
What happened to you?
385
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,804
Tough day.
386
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,432
At the library?
387
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,725
Yes.
388
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,103
Where's your other shoe?
389
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:46,440
When I was leaving... the library,
390
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,150
a wild dog attacked me.
391
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,027
Oh, sweetie, no.
392
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:52,279
I fought him off, but at
the price of a loafer.
393
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,906
Where's your backpack?
394
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,618
I guess he got that, too.
395
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:01,246
Well... that all makes sense, Sheldon,
396
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,041
if that's what really happened.
397
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,001
It is.
398
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,377
Okay, then.
399
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:08,880
Why don't you go lie down?
400
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,966
I will. I'm tired from all
the things that happened...
401
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,886
- At the library.
- At the library.
402
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,520
Instead of punishing him,
403
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:19,720
I'm letting him think
he got away with it.
404
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,950
The guilt is eating him alive.
405
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,770
I wish you were here
to enjoy it with me.
406
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,160
- Hey.
- Hey.
407
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,651
Is it okay if Taylor and I hang out
in my room and listen to music?
408
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:31,800
Sure.
409
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,904
Just keep the door closed
so I don't have to hear it.
410
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,100
You got it.
411
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,040
Probably gonna listen to show tunes.
412
00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:06,800
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