1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,349 --> 00:00:02,870 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,873 --> 00:00:03,953 Arrested? 3 00:00:03,956 --> 00:00:05,873 Well, they're probably gonna have to pay some fine, 4 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,875 and-and they're gonna need cash. 5 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,351 What the hell? 6 00:00:09,354 --> 00:00:10,918 What are you doing here? 7 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,358 I'm saving you. 8 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,968 Well, damn. 9 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,484 Look, you're just a kid, okay? 10 00:00:15,487 --> 00:00:17,226 You don't understand what's going on here. 11 00:00:17,229 --> 00:00:19,712 I know my mom lost her job and got kicked out of the church 12 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,628 because you won't marry my brother. 13 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,453 - Where you going? - To dance. 14 00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:25,501 I didn't think you Baptists did that. 15 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,721 We don't drink, neither. Ooh. 16 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,984 - The kids asleep? - Yup. 17 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,595 You want to... fool around? 18 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,467 Are you messing with me? 19 00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,164 I'm hoping to. 20 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,168 Well, hot diggity dog. 21 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:43,128 Hey. 22 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,738 Oh, thanks for coming. 23 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,740 Sounded important. What's going on? 24 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:49,569 - Walk with me. - Okay. 25 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,359 You know that money I owe you? 26 00:00:51,362 --> 00:00:53,350 Oh, you got it? 27 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,396 Yes and no. 28 00:00:55,399 --> 00:00:57,402 Uh, well, which is it? 29 00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,187 Yes, I got it, 30 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,797 no, I'm not giving it to you. 31 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,191 I want to give you 32 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,945 a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 33 00:01:05,948 --> 00:01:08,501 Well, I'd prefer my money. 34 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,504 Do you see any unoccupied machines here? 35 00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,296 - No. - Exactly. 36 00:01:13,299 --> 00:01:17,117 We are at capacity. It's time to expand. 37 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,946 Where? 38 00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,905 The video store right behind that wall 39 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,386 just lost its lease. 40 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:27,317 Aw, heck. I was gonna pick up the new John Candy. 41 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,262 Well, as my partner in this enterprise, 42 00:01:30,265 --> 00:01:33,265 you can get that new John Candy for free. 43 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,615 So you're gonna buy a video store? 44 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,791 Video store in the front, 45 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,316 video pokerin the back. 46 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,057 Where are you getting the poker machine? 47 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,867 - Biloxi, Mississippi. - Oh. You didn't learn a lesson 48 00:01:45,870 --> 00:01:48,226 - when you got arrested at the border? - Yes. 49 00:01:48,229 --> 00:01:50,063 I learned not to smuggle contraband 50 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,843 with my idiot grandson. 51 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:55,710 But there's nothing illegal about buying poker machines. 52 00:01:55,713 --> 00:01:57,071 Till you plug 'em in. 53 00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,073 Well, sure. 54 00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,648 Come on. What do you say? 55 00:02:01,651 --> 00:02:05,774 You and me, a panel truck, Biloxi or bust? 56 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:09,101 So I'm gonna be your partner in an illegal gambling room? 57 00:02:09,104 --> 00:02:11,918 Hidden by a legal video store. 58 00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:14,741 - Connie. Gee... - Come on. You said you want to drive around 59 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,234 in an RV, see the country. 60 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,593 This is that, but exciting. 61 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,953 We could go to jail. 62 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:23,009 That's the exciting part. 63 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:40,804 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 64 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,682 Hello, Mom. 65 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,770 It's your son, Sheldon. 66 00:02:43,773 --> 00:02:45,348 Hello, my son, Sheldon. 67 00:02:45,351 --> 00:02:46,251 I have an 8:00 a.m. 68 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,430 class tomorrow, and I was wondering 69 00:02:47,432 --> 00:02:49,469 - if I could spend the night in my dorm. - That's fine. 70 00:02:49,471 --> 00:02:51,000 Now before you answer, hear me out. 71 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:53,003 I have a list of reasons why this is a good idea. 72 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,390 - Number one... - Sheldon, 73 00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:56,515 I know that you're safe there. It's fine. 74 00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:58,388 That's reason number four. Please don't skip ahead. 75 00:02:58,390 --> 00:02:59,367 Honey, 76 00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:02,875 I trust you. Just go to bed at a reasonable hour 77 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,399 and call if you need anything. 78 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,792 Otherwise, I'll see you tomorrow. 79 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,228 Okay. Number one: I'm not... 80 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,757 Goodbye, Sheldon. 81 00:03:10,346 --> 00:03:12,042 Who hangs up on a list? 82 00:03:12,045 --> 00:03:13,696 What's his problem now? 83 00:03:13,699 --> 00:03:16,280 Nothing. He wants to spend the night at the dorm 84 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,326 so he can get to an early class. 85 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,633 Really? And you said okay? 86 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,265 He is old enough 87 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:25,562 to have an overnighter, and... 88 00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:28,553 it might be nice for us to have a little alone time. 89 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,351 Ooh. What about Missy? 90 00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:32,036 She's having dinner with a friend. 91 00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:34,473 So, the house to ourselves. 92 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,735 I like it. 93 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:38,041 Hold on. 94 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,726 - Hello? - Number two... 95 00:03:39,729 --> 00:03:41,609 I have my own bathroom. Number... 96 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,984 Boy, that's a lot of plates. 97 00:03:43,987 --> 00:03:46,158 - What do you want, Georgie? - I just talked to Meemaw. 98 00:03:46,161 --> 00:03:48,182 She says she's gonna be out of town for a couple days. 99 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,227 Yup, she told me. 100 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,925 Patty melt. Good choice. 101 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,622 Okay. Enjoy. 102 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,929 I'm just worried about you being all by yourself 103 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,512 - in that big house. - I'll be fine. 104 00:03:57,515 --> 00:03:59,000 What if there's a tornado? 105 00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:00,760 Did Meemaw ever show you where her hidey hole is? 106 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,343 - Georgie, I'm really busy right now. - Sorry. 107 00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:06,025 I'll swing by Meemaw's later, maybe bring some takeout. 108 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,115 Don't bother. They send me home with plenty of food. 109 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,117 Great. Score me a patty melt, would you? 110 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,511 - I won't. - I'm gonna go now. 111 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,775 - What are you doing? - Kissing our baby. 112 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,298 You want one, too? 113 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,379 No. 114 00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:20,823 Bye-bye. 115 00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,088 I'm home. 116 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,787 Anybody here? 117 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:30,180 - Missy? - Yeah. 118 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,008 You're home early. 119 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,836 It's 7:00. 120 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,476 Is it? 121 00:04:35,479 --> 00:04:37,464 Are you sleeping? 122 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:39,189 Yeah. 123 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,323 Where's Dad? 124 00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,281 I'm here. 125 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,458 Ugh. 126 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,459 We were both just real tired. 127 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,983 Please stop talking. 128 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,298 What on earth is going on? 129 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,758 Aah! No skateboarding in the hallway. 130 00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:06,415 Aah! 131 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:10,005 This childishness cannot be allowed to continue. 132 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,790 Hello. I need to tattle. 133 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,575 What? 134 00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,533 Is your room on fire? 135 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,405 No. 136 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,667 But I see smoke. 137 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,538 Okay. 138 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,584 You need to know there's people skateboarding 139 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,194 and playing loud music in the hallways. 140 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,601 What do you want me to do about it? 141 00:05:29,604 --> 00:05:30,765 You're the resident advisor. 142 00:05:30,768 --> 00:05:32,707 It's your job to enforce the rules. 143 00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:34,897 I'll get right on it. 144 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,508 Thank you. 145 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:41,251 The system works. 146 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,475 Ugh. 147 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,698 Oh, I'm gonna be so cranky tomorrow. 148 00:05:55,164 --> 00:05:57,529 So, how'd you hear about these poker machines? 149 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,878 I know a guy. 150 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,401 What kind of guy? 151 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,795 A guy who knows a guy. 152 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,058 Well, what do you know about that guy? 153 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,103 He owned a riverboat casino. 154 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,500 He owned? 155 00:06:08,503 --> 00:06:09,802 He might be dead. 156 00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,369 Dead? 157 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,617 He might not be. 158 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:14,022 They never found the body. 159 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,895 Oh, my God. 160 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,484 - Exciting, huh? - No. 161 00:06:17,487 --> 00:06:19,921 - It's upsetting. - Oh, now, come on. 162 00:06:19,924 --> 00:06:22,316 You've been in the sporting goods business long enough. 163 00:06:22,319 --> 00:06:24,363 Haven't you ever sold a bunch of shoulder pads 164 00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:25,812 that fell off the back of a truck? 165 00:06:25,815 --> 00:06:27,085 Absolutely not. 166 00:06:27,088 --> 00:06:30,082 I buy 'em from a reputable company named Tuffy. 167 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,434 Boring. 168 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,562 I smell your shampoo. 169 00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:44,042 Aw, damn it. 170 00:06:44,045 --> 00:06:46,620 How long have you been sitting out there? 171 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,623 - All night. - And why? 172 00:06:49,956 --> 00:06:52,551 Are you familiar with Arkham Asylum from the Batman comics? 173 00:06:52,554 --> 00:06:53,889 - No. - Well, it's a madhouse, 174 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,978 as is my dormitory after the sun goes down. 175 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,937 Sheldon, I am the president of this university. 176 00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,765 I don't handle noise complaints. 177 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,767 That's why there's a resident advisor. 178 00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,046 - Oh, I went to him. - And? 179 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,640 You saw me sleeping on the bench like a hobo. 180 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,193 - What do you think? - Can't you just... 181 00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:08,890 I don't know... chalk this up as 182 00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:10,545 part of the college experience? 183 00:07:10,548 --> 00:07:12,554 Yeah, the clown college experience. 184 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,622 I'm sorry. I'm cranky. 185 00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:16,390 I've compiled a list of reasons 186 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,000 why I should be appointed the dormitory R.A. 187 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,134 - Number one... - Fine. You're the R.A. 188 00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,876 Okay. "Number one: I love rules... 189 00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:25,188 creating them, following them, 190 00:07:25,191 --> 00:07:26,926 and most fun of all, enforcing them." 191 00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:28,358 You're the R.A., Sheldon. 192 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,373 Excellent. "Number two... punishment 193 00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:33,250 for rule infractions must be both fair and merciless." 194 00:07:39,117 --> 00:07:42,502 - Hmm. - Ooh. Eggs andpancakes. 195 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,246 That's what a lumberjack gets for chopping all that wood. 196 00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,742 I'll be Paul Bunyan, 197 00:07:47,745 --> 00:07:50,728 you can be my babe, the blue fox. 198 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,209 George. 199 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,203 Ugh. Still? 200 00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:56,408 Morning, honey. 201 00:07:56,411 --> 00:07:57,910 What is happening with you two? 202 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,215 What do you mean? 203 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,608 Is one of you dying? 204 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,741 No one's dying. 205 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,394 Sometimes, married people kiss. 206 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,701 On TV maybe, not here. 207 00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:10,749 Well, young lady, how do you think you came into this world? 208 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,754 Okay, you're freaking me out. 209 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:19,570 Here you go, as advertised. 210 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:26,155 All right. Those look good. 211 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,810 Wait. Hold on. How do we know they work? 212 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:31,683 What kind of operation you think I'm running here? 213 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:35,034 Well, I don't know. The word "sketchy" comes to mind. 214 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,339 Be cool. 215 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,994 Uh, you mind if we plug a couple in? 216 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,779 Mind if you show me the money? 217 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,968 Sure. Turn around. 218 00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:44,188 Why? 219 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,149 You want the money or not? 220 00:08:47,612 --> 00:08:49,090 Okay, go ahead. 221 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,008 Yeah. 222 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,452 Okay. 223 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,933 20 grand. 224 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,500 Light 'em up. 225 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:19,078 That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life. 226 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,835 Really? 227 00:09:20,838 --> 00:09:23,085 Well, I just took my pants off. 228 00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:25,563 Attention, residents of Bower Hall. 229 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,187 My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm your new R.A. 230 00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,099 The age of chaos is over. 231 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,176 I repeat, the age of chaos is over. 232 00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:33,266 Please take a moment 233 00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,387 to familiarize yourself with the dormitory rules 234 00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:36,922 posted on the bulletin board. 235 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,621 Ignorance of these rules is no excuse, and violators will be... 236 00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:48,085 New rule. Unauthorized use of my bullhorn is forbidden. 237 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,958 - I repeat. Unauthorized... - Shut up. 238 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,766 Anybody home? 239 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,420 Oh, good. You're here. 240 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,914 Hey. 241 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:01,206 Check it out. I got this video about childbirth. 242 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,687 I thought we could watch it tonight. 243 00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,210 That sounds awful. 244 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,604 Well, it does say "contains graphic images" 245 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,301 right there on the box. 246 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,218 Maybe some other time, Georgie. 247 00:10:10,221 --> 00:10:12,826 No worries. I also picked up Look Who's Talking, 248 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,308 which is just about a baby who says stuff. 249 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,317 If you're trying to make this, like, a date night 250 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,921 or something, it's not happening. 251 00:10:18,924 --> 00:10:20,922 Oh, who said anything about a date? 252 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,490 It's just us having dinner and watching a movie. 253 00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,710 Last time we did that I wound up pregnant. 254 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,060 Mm, that was a good date. 255 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,323 Well, that's not happening tonight. 256 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,898 I get it. Nothing romantic. 257 00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:34,457 Just two future parents watching the miracle of childbirth 258 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,896 or a movie that got two thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert. 259 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,462 And not only that. 260 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,116 Then someone defaced my rule sheet 261 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,727 with a drawing of testicles. 262 00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:46,257 Well, that is so immature. 263 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,733 I agree. Simply naming me dorm R.A. isn't enough 264 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,256 to command respect. 265 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,084 I need a physical symbol of my authority, 266 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,563 like the way a king had a scepter. 267 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,435 So, you want a scepter? 268 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,375 No, that could be used against me. 269 00:10:57,378 --> 00:10:58,726 Ooh, how about a badge? 270 00:10:58,729 --> 00:10:59,953 I'd be like a Texas Ranger 271 00:10:59,956 --> 00:11:01,867 who patrols the halls of a dormitory. 272 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,827 Well, these all just such terrific ideas but, 273 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,075 um, how about an official letter from my desk 274 00:11:08,078 --> 00:11:11,190 with a handwritten note attesting to your position? 275 00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:15,760 All right. "To the students of Bower Hall." 276 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,111 That's your handwriting? 277 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,804 "This document 278 00:11:19,807 --> 00:11:24,054 bestows on Sheldon Cooper all the powers 279 00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:26,679 and privileges of resident advisor." 280 00:11:26,682 --> 00:11:28,122 "Bestows." I like it. 281 00:11:30,914 --> 00:11:33,131 Sloppy, but I like it. 282 00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:35,343 ♪ I can see a new horizon ♪ 283 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,955 ♪ Realize ♪ 284 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,739 ♪ That will keep me realizin' ♪ 285 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,786 ♪ You're the biggest part of me... ♪ 286 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:42,984 Nope. 287 00:11:42,987 --> 00:11:44,616 ♪ Need your lovin' here beside... ♪ 288 00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:47,531 Well, I got to tell you, 289 00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:50,140 - that was pretty exciting. - Mm. I told you. 290 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,230 For a while there, I felt like Bonnie and Clyde, 291 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,407 without all the murder and mayhem. 292 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,890 Well, the night's still young. 293 00:11:58,437 --> 00:12:02,153 So at the risk of sounding more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh, 294 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,547 where do we stand in our relationship? 295 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,159 You're the one who broke up with me. 296 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:10,523 Oh, maybe I've rethought the situation. 297 00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:12,512 So you were wrong. 298 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:16,168 I don't believe there's any right or wrong here. 299 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:19,214 Say it. Say you were wrong. 300 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,826 I do regret it. 301 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,567 Because... you were... 302 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,180 wrong. 303 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,530 Yes. 304 00:12:29,367 --> 00:12:32,227 So what do you say... you want to give it another chance? 305 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,320 Hang on. 306 00:12:33,323 --> 00:12:34,925 Just give me a straight answer. 307 00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,884 I'm a big boy. I can take it. 308 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,494 I think we're being followed. 309 00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,279 What? 310 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,671 No. 311 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,437 The pickup truck? 312 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,023 The orange Pinto. 313 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,633 I saw it when we gassed up. 314 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,200 It's been two cars back ever since. 315 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,680 I'm gonna speed up and see what happens. 316 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,206 We're being followed. 317 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,511 Are you still excited? 318 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,035 No, I'm upset. 319 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,367 Good. 320 00:12:58,370 --> 00:13:00,570 Then we're on the same page. 321 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,398 Open up. It's the R.A. 322 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:12,875 Yeah? 323 00:13:12,878 --> 00:13:15,183 It's quiet hours. You have to turn the music off. 324 00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:16,781 - Says who? - Me, the R.A. 325 00:13:16,784 --> 00:13:18,796 You probably didn't hear me over the music. 326 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,039 Maybe this will convince you. 327 00:13:22,663 --> 00:13:24,588 Her cursive is maybe questionable, 328 00:13:24,591 --> 00:13:26,289 but trust me, my authority is not. 329 00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:32,113 ♪ I know, yeah... ♪ 330 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,857 Joke's on you. I have Scotch tape. 331 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,816 I don't see him anywhere. Do you? 332 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,209 - Nope. - Oh, man. 333 00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,156 Well, now that that's over, I'm starting 334 00:13:43,159 --> 00:13:44,985 to feel the excitement again. 335 00:13:44,988 --> 00:13:47,661 Crazy, right? I think that's the way danger works. 336 00:13:47,664 --> 00:13:49,601 Oh, it's like a rollercoaster. 337 00:13:49,604 --> 00:13:51,484 Well, 338 00:13:51,487 --> 00:13:54,401 ain't this a coincidence. 339 00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,224 Oh, come on. 340 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,395 - What's up? - Mom and Dad are being weird. 341 00:14:01,398 --> 00:14:02,578 Can I hang out here? 342 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,058 Actually, ain't a good time. 343 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,235 Come on in, Missy. 344 00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,628 Dang it. 345 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,078 Sucker. 346 00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,239 Good. 347 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,460 Ooh, Look Who's Talking. 348 00:14:12,463 --> 00:14:14,335 - Classic. - Hey, did you know 349 00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:16,809 the baby is the guy from Die Hard? 350 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:19,117 - No. - Yeah. 351 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,509 He can do everything. 352 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,597 I was sitting there. 353 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:22,906 Yeah, well, now you're not. 354 00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:23,977 I'm being nothing but nice here. 355 00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:25,819 I don't know why you got to give me a hard time. 356 00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:28,343 Why? I'll tell you why. 357 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,998 You ruined my life. Is that enough "why" for you? 358 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,406 Hey, you weren't so innocent. 359 00:14:32,409 --> 00:14:35,129 If I recall, you provided alcohol to a minor... me. 360 00:14:35,132 --> 00:14:36,221 That's illegal. 361 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,609 - You lied about your age. - You lied first. 362 00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:40,965 Okay, you know what? Let's not do this in front of your sister. 363 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,358 It actually feels normal. Keep going. 364 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,926 And let's not forget, I only lied 'cause you're hot. 365 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,773 Oh, my God. We don't need 366 00:14:47,776 --> 00:14:49,441 to watch a movie about a talking baby. 367 00:14:49,444 --> 00:14:50,793 You're right here. 368 00:14:52,355 --> 00:14:53,919 Ooh, lock the door, lock the door. 369 00:14:53,922 --> 00:14:56,171 - No one's home. - Just in case. 370 00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:01,868 - Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. - Mmm. Mmm. 371 00:15:01,871 --> 00:15:05,814 - I have a wild and crazy idea. - Ooh, 372 00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,382 I like where this is headed. 373 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:10,385 Let's make a baby. 374 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,851 You're kidding, right? 375 00:15:12,854 --> 00:15:17,043 I don't know. It might be fun to start over. 376 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,523 Fun? What house you been living in? 377 00:15:19,526 --> 00:15:23,926 I'm serious. We've been getting along so great, 378 00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,835 and I have all this extra time on my hands. 379 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,718 Uh, let's take advantage. 380 00:15:28,721 --> 00:15:31,319 Your son's about to have a baby. You can take care of that one. 381 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,114 No, my mother called dibs. 382 00:15:33,117 --> 00:15:34,664 Your mother's a million years old. 383 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,237 You think she's gonna be changing diapers 384 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,937 in the middle of the night? 385 00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,504 I'll tell you what your problem is. 386 00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:41,168 You got kicked out of your church, 387 00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:42,703 your-your kids are grown up, 388 00:15:42,706 --> 00:15:44,750 you're feeling sorry for yourself, and, 389 00:15:44,753 --> 00:15:47,007 yeah, you think a baby'll solve the problem. 390 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,513 Well? Say something. 391 00:15:51,516 --> 00:15:54,414 You make me so mad. 392 00:15:55,518 --> 00:15:57,692 Where you going? 393 00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,869 We can still do it mad. 394 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:03,223 So what do you want, uh... 395 00:16:04,542 --> 00:16:06,701 - Dennis. - Right. 396 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,531 Dennis. Tough name. 397 00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,795 So what do you want... Dennis? 398 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,930 Couldn't help noticing you got Texas plates on that truck. 399 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,773 Operating poker machines ain't legal in Texas. 400 00:16:20,776 --> 00:16:22,289 So what are you, a cop? 401 00:16:22,292 --> 00:16:26,199 No, no, I'm just a guy who might call the cops, you know, 402 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:29,290 if we don't come to an arrangement. 403 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,726 Can I take your order? 404 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:31,820 Thank you, honey. 405 00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:34,251 You know, I got a hankering for chicken fried steak. 406 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,679 Gravy on top, but only if it's cream gravy. 407 00:16:37,682 --> 00:16:41,648 And the mashed potatoes with more cream and gravy on top. 408 00:16:41,651 --> 00:16:45,262 And, uh, ice tea when you can. 409 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,613 No gravy on that. 410 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,745 And how about for you two? 411 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,835 I'm gonna use your restroom. 412 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,273 He knows what I like. 413 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,405 - You're leaving? - Uh-huh. 414 00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,236 - I got to tinkle. - Uh. 415 00:17:01,236 --> 00:17:03,323 Uh, 416 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,500 I guess I'll have the waffles, 417 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,382 and the lady will have, um... 418 00:17:11,388 --> 00:17:13,739 ...also waffles. 419 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,906 So, what do you think? 420 00:17:17,909 --> 00:17:19,856 Well, Dennis, I'm not the guy to talk to. 421 00:17:19,859 --> 00:17:23,779 Uh, why don't we wait for the boss to finish tinkling? 422 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,959 But I do got to tell you, this is my first shakedown. 423 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,961 Don't think of it like that. 424 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,093 It's just a business arrangement. 425 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,444 Well, I've been a businessman for 38 years, 426 00:17:36,447 --> 00:17:39,359 and I don't think I've ever been threatened before. 427 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,321 What kind of business you in? 428 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,703 - Hello? - Huh? 429 00:17:46,706 --> 00:17:49,317 What kind of business you in? 430 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,523 - Groomer. - Hmm. 431 00:17:54,526 --> 00:17:56,256 Dog groomer, yeah. 432 00:17:56,259 --> 00:18:01,219 Cats if you make me, but I pretty much love the doggies. 433 00:18:01,222 --> 00:18:02,731 You ever do birds? 434 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,132 No. Mm-hmm. Birds got feathers, 435 00:18:05,135 --> 00:18:08,049 and they're... they're self-grooming, pretty much. 436 00:18:08,052 --> 00:18:11,247 Yeah, I always thought cats were self-grooming. 437 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:14,352 Well, people think that, but, no. No, you got to... 438 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,617 You got to dip a cat once in a while. 439 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,053 Well, okay then. 440 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,447 Where are you going? 441 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,289 Dennis, I am really sorry about this. 442 00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:39,296 May I help you? 443 00:18:39,299 --> 00:18:40,595 There's no hot water. 444 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,039 There is for rule followers. 445 00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:43,511 You can't just turn off the hot water. 446 00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,484 - Yeah. - Yeah. 447 00:18:44,487 --> 00:18:45,965 If you want the benefits of civilization, 448 00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:47,645 you have to behave in a civilized manner. 449 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,258 The decision is yours. 450 00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:53,492 I don't need a pen and paper to take names. 451 00:18:53,495 --> 00:18:55,726 You. What's your name? 452 00:18:55,729 --> 00:18:57,904 You know I'll find out and there will be consequences. 453 00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:01,127 Hey, what are you... 454 00:19:02,578 --> 00:19:09,773 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.MY-SUBS.com --