1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,416 --> 00:00:03,312 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:03,315 --> 00:00:05,488 Mary Cooper... 3 00:00:05,491 --> 00:00:07,529 I want to sex you up. 4 00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:11,113 I have good news. 5 00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:12,381 Good. I could use it. 6 00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:15,132 I got a job at the bowling alley. 7 00:00:17,179 --> 00:00:18,309 Working with Brenda? 8 00:00:18,312 --> 00:00:19,512 Every day. 9 00:00:19,515 --> 00:00:21,895 I am so sorry about today. 10 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,653 I just hate to see you walk away 11 00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:25,234 - from the Lord. - Feels like 12 00:00:25,237 --> 00:00:27,132 He's walking away from me. 13 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:35,941 What is that? 14 00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:37,209 Hamburger Helper. 15 00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,142 It's official. We're poor. 16 00:00:39,144 --> 00:00:40,625 We're not poor. 17 00:00:40,628 --> 00:00:42,214 There's hamburger in there. 18 00:00:42,217 --> 00:00:43,943 There's hamburger in there, right? 19 00:00:43,945 --> 00:00:45,765 I like Hamburger Helper. 20 00:00:45,768 --> 00:00:47,947 It really does help your hamburger make a great meal. 21 00:00:47,949 --> 00:00:49,155 Well, it's a good thing you like it, 22 00:00:49,157 --> 00:00:50,683 'cause you're definitely poor. 23 00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:52,398 - Like us. - We're fine. 24 00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:54,555 - Actually... - Just eat. 25 00:00:54,558 --> 00:00:56,661 - Do we still say grace? - Why not? 26 00:00:56,663 --> 00:00:59,366 Mom's been taking a break from the church. Mom? 27 00:00:59,368 --> 00:01:02,034 Well, I hadn't really thought about it. 28 00:01:02,036 --> 00:01:03,273 We can if you want to. 29 00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:04,499 Let's not. 30 00:01:04,501 --> 00:01:05,732 As meaningless as it is, 31 00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:07,399 I do find the ritual comforting. 32 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,970 Well, somebody make a decision. That slop's getting cold. 33 00:01:09,972 --> 00:01:12,440 No, it's good cold or hot, like Grape-Nuts. 34 00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:13,570 Ooh, can I say it? 35 00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:15,075 Sure. 36 00:01:17,963 --> 00:01:20,153 Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive 37 00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:22,265 and bless the hands that prepared it. 38 00:01:22,268 --> 00:01:24,484 And let me have a good hair day for school pictures 39 00:01:24,486 --> 00:01:25,898 later this week. 40 00:01:25,901 --> 00:01:28,252 - Let's see, what else do I want... - Wrap it up. 41 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,196 And please let my dad find a full-time job 42 00:01:30,198 --> 00:01:31,656 before we lose cable. Amen. 43 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,058 Amen. 44 00:01:44,242 --> 00:01:50,976 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 45 00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:59,149 So... 46 00:01:59,151 --> 00:02:00,894 how's it going with this whole 47 00:02:00,896 --> 00:02:03,491 no church thing? 48 00:02:03,493 --> 00:02:04,922 It's a little weird, 49 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,495 but I'm figuring it out. 50 00:02:06,497 --> 00:02:08,227 Think you might go back? 51 00:02:09,116 --> 00:02:10,513 I don't know yet. 52 00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:12,118 Maybe find a different church? 53 00:02:12,121 --> 00:02:14,688 I don't know, George. 54 00:02:16,705 --> 00:02:18,453 I'm gonna get a beer. 55 00:02:18,456 --> 00:02:19,771 You, uh, 56 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,180 care to join me 57 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,481 like the good ol' days? 58 00:02:22,483 --> 00:02:24,241 Just 'cause I'm not going to church 59 00:02:24,243 --> 00:02:26,383 doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker. 60 00:02:26,385 --> 00:02:27,849 Okay. Well, then I guess 61 00:02:27,851 --> 00:02:29,891 me and my friends will say goodnight. 62 00:02:32,429 --> 00:02:33,652 We need to talk. 63 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,812 About what? 64 00:02:34,815 --> 00:02:37,718 You do their taxes. How bad off are we? 65 00:02:37,721 --> 00:02:39,109 Based on their part-time income, 66 00:02:39,112 --> 00:02:41,191 we're going to run out of money by the end of the year. 67 00:02:41,193 --> 00:02:43,433 - Before or after Christmas? - Before. 68 00:02:43,435 --> 00:02:45,396 Not what I wanted to hear. 69 00:02:46,441 --> 00:02:49,066 Anything we can do to help? 70 00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:51,077 Perhaps we could sell our stuff. 71 00:02:51,079 --> 00:02:52,442 But I like my stuff. 72 00:02:52,444 --> 00:02:53,820 I like my stuff, too. 73 00:02:53,823 --> 00:02:55,877 Let's keep thinking. 74 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,815 Hello? 75 00:03:02,817 --> 00:03:04,815 Connie. Grant Linkletter. 76 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:06,515 Hello, Grant. 77 00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:08,101 What can I do for you? 78 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,810 Well, I looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks 79 00:03:10,813 --> 00:03:12,497 since I last asked you out, so 80 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,981 I thought I'd give it another shot. 81 00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:16,164 You ask me out every six weeks? 82 00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:19,331 Used to be nine, but we're not getting any younger. 83 00:03:20,303 --> 00:03:22,465 I'll tell you what... 84 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,702 fine. 85 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:25,492 - Really? - Why not? 86 00:03:25,495 --> 00:03:27,003 Excellent. 87 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:28,406 But I want to be clear, 88 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,453 this is just one of those... Whatcha call it... 89 00:03:30,456 --> 00:03:32,391 Uh, platonic things. 90 00:03:32,394 --> 00:03:33,831 We're just having dinner. 91 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,007 I'll take it. 92 00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:36,611 Now, would you prefer a restaurant 93 00:03:36,614 --> 00:03:38,351 or some good home cooking? 94 00:03:38,354 --> 00:03:40,085 I make seven kinds of soup. 95 00:03:40,088 --> 00:03:41,786 I think I'll just stick with a restaurant. 96 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,343 Fair enough, but one day, 97 00:03:43,346 --> 00:03:44,687 you'll try my mushroom barley, 98 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,588 and your taste buds will swoon. 99 00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:47,991 Good night, Grant. 100 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,263 The secret is how long I cook the onions. 101 00:03:58,574 --> 00:04:00,474 Chicken coop, now. 102 00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:05,778 Hi. 103 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,219 What are we doing? 104 00:04:07,221 --> 00:04:08,814 What are you doing? 105 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,214 What, you hired Mary 106 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:11,949 to work at the bowling alley. 107 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,992 She needed a job. 108 00:04:13,995 --> 00:04:15,318 I was being nice. 109 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,020 Well, you don't think it's a little weird? 110 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,528 This right here... 111 00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:21,027 It's all weird. 112 00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:23,278 Are you drunk? 113 00:04:23,281 --> 00:04:25,366 Not nearly enough. 114 00:04:25,368 --> 00:04:28,439 You and Mary working together is a bad idea considering... 115 00:04:28,441 --> 00:04:30,806 you know, you and me. 116 00:04:30,808 --> 00:04:32,503 We haven't done anything, George. 117 00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:34,513 But there was considering. You know there was. 118 00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:36,876 What do you want me to do? 119 00:04:36,878 --> 00:04:38,153 You want me to fire her? 120 00:04:38,156 --> 00:04:40,511 No, no. That'd be weird. 121 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:44,284 Which is exactly where we started. Good night. 122 00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:52,134 You understand what I'm saying. 123 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,531 Okay, so what are you good at? 124 00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:57,929 I'm popular. 125 00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,338 That is not a skill. 126 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,232 - You can't do it. - Fine. 127 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,238 Oh, you could go on Jeopardy! 128 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,736 Never. I don't like answers in the form of questions. 129 00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:08,207 I like my answers in the form of answers, and my questions 130 00:05:08,209 --> 00:05:09,793 in the form of questions, thank you. 131 00:05:09,796 --> 00:05:11,890 Ooh, perhaps I could sell story ideas 132 00:05:11,893 --> 00:05:13,445 to TV shows like Star Trek. 133 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,355 Do you really think they'd listen to a kid? 134 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,688 My voice has gotten deeper. 135 00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,184 The other day, I answered the phone, 136 00:05:18,186 --> 00:05:19,759 and they didn't mistake me for Mom. 137 00:05:19,761 --> 00:05:21,781 Star Trek's not gonna buy your stupid ideas. 138 00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:22,835 We'll see about that. 139 00:05:22,838 --> 00:05:24,120 I have one where the Enterprise 140 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:25,265 falls into a time tunnel, 141 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:26,322 and Worf becomes a Worf 142 00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:27,832 from 12 minutes in the future. 143 00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:30,430 We could let people punch you for a buck. 144 00:05:30,432 --> 00:05:33,597 No, all our profit would just go to medical expenses. 145 00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:42,111 Hey, Brenda, I was trying to 146 00:05:42,113 --> 00:05:44,012 do the books for the quarter, and I was having 147 00:05:44,014 --> 00:05:45,746 a little trouble making sense of it. 148 00:05:45,748 --> 00:05:47,046 You know, Mary, if... 149 00:05:47,048 --> 00:05:48,951 if it's too big of a mess, and 150 00:05:48,954 --> 00:05:51,983 you'd rather work somewhere else, I'd understand. 151 00:05:51,986 --> 00:05:54,300 No, I'll figure it out. 152 00:05:54,303 --> 00:05:56,262 Great. 153 00:05:56,264 --> 00:05:57,757 So happy you're here. 154 00:06:03,147 --> 00:06:04,697 Hey, there. 155 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,561 Oh. 156 00:06:06,564 --> 00:06:07,733 Hi, Mary. 157 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:12,311 Finally found an eight-pounder that's not pink. 158 00:06:12,314 --> 00:06:13,730 I didn't know you bowled. 159 00:06:13,733 --> 00:06:15,808 I didn't know you did either. 160 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:18,008 Actually, I, um, 161 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,647 I work here now. 162 00:06:19,649 --> 00:06:21,955 Oh, sure, okay. 163 00:06:21,957 --> 00:06:23,046 I... 164 00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:25,490 I'm so sorry 165 00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:27,256 about how things 166 00:06:27,259 --> 00:06:29,186 went down at church. 167 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,956 If it helps at all, the place has gone to heck since you left. 168 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,167 Good. 169 00:06:36,899 --> 00:06:39,163 I sure do miss working with you. 170 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,693 Well, we can still be friends, 171 00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:43,787 even if we don't work together. 172 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,578 I'd like that. 173 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,174 You find a kiddie ball yet? 174 00:06:48,176 --> 00:06:50,349 It's not about the weight, just... 175 00:06:50,351 --> 00:06:52,309 I have small fingers. 176 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:55,111 Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon. 177 00:06:55,113 --> 00:06:56,339 Shannon, this is 178 00:06:56,342 --> 00:06:58,315 - Mary Cooper. - Hi. 179 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,120 You used to be Mary Tucker. 180 00:07:00,122 --> 00:07:02,789 Oh, not in a long time. 181 00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:03,955 You remember me? 182 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,797 Sorry, no. 183 00:07:05,799 --> 00:07:09,264 Shannon Dixon. You used to babysit me. 184 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:11,700 Is that so? 185 00:07:11,702 --> 00:07:12,838 She was so great. 186 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,598 She would let me stay up late and watch TV 187 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,572 while she would make out with her boyfriend. 188 00:07:17,612 --> 00:07:20,193 I don't... remember any of that. 189 00:07:20,196 --> 00:07:22,472 Oh, I'm not surprised. You used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet 190 00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:25,147 - pretty hard. - Well, Mary Cooper. 191 00:07:25,149 --> 00:07:28,080 I was... young and hadn't found the Lord. 192 00:07:28,082 --> 00:07:31,451 You two have a great time. 193 00:07:39,955 --> 00:07:41,615 Here's that invoice. 194 00:07:41,618 --> 00:07:42,996 Oh. Great. 195 00:07:42,999 --> 00:07:45,519 I see Pastor Rob's here again. 196 00:07:45,522 --> 00:07:47,264 Oh, does, uh... 197 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,870 does he come here often? 198 00:07:49,872 --> 00:07:51,607 Not with that one. 199 00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:54,039 She's new. 200 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,746 Well, good for him. 201 00:07:56,748 --> 00:07:59,177 Single, good-looking pastor. 202 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,719 In a small town like this, 203 00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:02,686 he might as well be Roger Staubach. 204 00:08:04,923 --> 00:08:06,887 Oh, my God. The Dallas Cowboys. 205 00:08:06,889 --> 00:08:08,759 Oh, sure, course. 206 00:08:08,761 --> 00:08:10,653 Um... hey, if you need me, 207 00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:13,156 I'm gonna be in the office doing... 208 00:08:13,158 --> 00:08:14,934 office things. 209 00:08:20,748 --> 00:08:22,035 What are you doing here? 210 00:08:22,037 --> 00:08:23,600 I ran out of beer at home, 211 00:08:23,602 --> 00:08:25,439 didn't feel like driving to the store. 212 00:08:25,441 --> 00:08:27,809 Oh, so you just waltz in and help yourself? 213 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,845 'Bout sums it up. 214 00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:31,845 I'm changing the locks. 215 00:08:31,847 --> 00:08:34,448 Cheers. 216 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,052 So, how's my daughter doing? 217 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,804 Eh, she seems okay. 218 00:08:41,807 --> 00:08:43,636 Still trying to figure things out. 219 00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:45,834 I got to be honest, I'm not exactly upset 220 00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:47,862 about less religion in the house. 221 00:08:47,864 --> 00:08:49,901 I hear you. 222 00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:51,936 Although, Jesus making her forgive me 223 00:08:51,938 --> 00:08:54,271 has come in handy more than a few times. 224 00:08:54,273 --> 00:08:57,139 Yeah, I played that card, too. 225 00:08:57,141 --> 00:08:59,631 Then again, I remember Mary before God 226 00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:01,373 got His mitts on her, and... 227 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,077 ...she was pretty wild. 228 00:09:04,079 --> 00:09:05,740 Don't have to tell me. 229 00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:07,347 I was the person she was wild with. 230 00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:10,621 Oh, she was wild long before she ever met you. 231 00:09:10,623 --> 00:09:12,853 What do you mean? 232 00:09:12,855 --> 00:09:16,692 Did you think that you were the first person she was wild with? 233 00:09:16,694 --> 00:09:19,933 Well... yeah. 234 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,265 And just when the Enterprise is about to be 235 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,700 assimilated by the Borg, 236 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,850 another ship appears, piloted by Wesley Crusher. 237 00:09:31,853 --> 00:09:33,678 - Uh-huh. - It's surprising because 238 00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:35,608 Wesley Crusher left the show years ago, 239 00:09:35,611 --> 00:09:36,877 so it's a big deal. 240 00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:37,936 If you say so. 241 00:09:37,939 --> 00:09:39,334 I have more. Commander Data... 242 00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:41,686 I'd like a reservation for dinner. 243 00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:42,953 Yes, I'll hold. 244 00:09:42,956 --> 00:09:45,055 You want to do this over dinner? Okay. 245 00:09:45,058 --> 00:09:47,253 I'm taking your grandmother out tonight. 246 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:48,784 She didn't mention it to me. 247 00:09:48,786 --> 00:09:51,190 Maybe because it doesn't concern you. 248 00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:52,590 My meemaw, my professor... 249 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,108 Who's in the middle of that Venn diagram? 250 00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:57,196 Yes, two people at 8:00. 251 00:09:57,199 --> 00:09:59,134 8:00's a little late for Meemaw. 252 00:09:59,136 --> 00:10:00,798 What time does she like to eat? 253 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,659 Well, she's old like you, so 6:30 at the latest. 254 00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:06,273 Can we make that 6:30? Wonderful. 255 00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:09,944 Hold on. Does she like French food? 256 00:10:09,946 --> 00:10:12,343 I'll call you back. 257 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,548 Anyway, Commander Data... 258 00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:16,717 Let me ask you a question, if this Commander Data 259 00:10:16,719 --> 00:10:19,890 were taking your meemaw out for dinner, where would they go? 260 00:10:19,892 --> 00:10:21,625 Almost certainly the holodeck. 261 00:10:21,627 --> 00:10:23,254 Sounds trendy. 262 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,031 Is that in Houston? 263 00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:29,550 Hello. 264 00:10:29,553 --> 00:10:31,032 What's up? 265 00:10:31,035 --> 00:10:32,686 I saw your "help wanted" sign. 266 00:10:32,689 --> 00:10:34,033 I'd like to help, please. 267 00:10:34,035 --> 00:10:35,168 How old are you? 268 00:10:35,170 --> 00:10:36,902 How old do I need to be? 269 00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:37,940 14. 270 00:10:37,942 --> 00:10:39,975 Do I not look 14? 271 00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:42,108 - I don't care. - Perfect. 272 00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,467 So, when do I start? 273 00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:46,044 All right, hold on, do you even like comic books? 274 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,114 Yeah. 275 00:10:47,116 --> 00:10:48,285 What's your favorite? 276 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,615 Um... 277 00:10:50,618 --> 00:10:52,811 And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just 278 00:10:52,814 --> 00:10:54,056 that they have superpowers, but they act 279 00:10:54,058 --> 00:10:55,589 as a metaphor for outsiders... 280 00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:58,190 ...outsiders trying to find their place in society. 281 00:10:58,192 --> 00:10:59,828 Who's your favorite? 282 00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:01,397 All of them. 283 00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:03,668 Mine, too. 284 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:04,936 And I got the job. 285 00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:06,467 You can't work at the comic book store. 286 00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:07,935 If anyone should work at the comic book store, 287 00:11:07,937 --> 00:11:08,938 it should be me. 288 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:10,336 Sorry, we're not hiring. 289 00:11:10,338 --> 00:11:11,938 Do I at least get a discount? 290 00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:14,205 I do. 291 00:11:20,820 --> 00:11:22,951 Oh, hey, hi. 292 00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:26,283 Oh... You okay? 293 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:27,652 Not really. 294 00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,826 It's been a... rough couple of days. 295 00:11:30,828 --> 00:11:32,696 I'm sorry. 296 00:11:32,698 --> 00:11:33,897 Thank you. 297 00:11:33,899 --> 00:11:34,998 Makes you feel better, 298 00:11:35,001 --> 00:11:36,592 I've had a pretty good couple of days, 299 00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:38,162 and I'm still gonna get drunk. 300 00:11:39,969 --> 00:11:41,569 Want to join me? 301 00:11:42,854 --> 00:11:44,186 Yes. 302 00:11:44,189 --> 00:11:46,006 That would be nice. 303 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,373 More sad than nice, 304 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,544 - but let's go. - Okay. 305 00:11:52,999 --> 00:11:55,920 So... this is unexpected. 306 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,826 Well, I know you like margaritas, 307 00:11:57,829 --> 00:12:00,108 so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant. 308 00:12:00,111 --> 00:12:01,322 Good thought. 309 00:12:01,324 --> 00:12:02,662 But I assumed other men had come 310 00:12:02,664 --> 00:12:04,063 to that same conclusion. 311 00:12:04,065 --> 00:12:07,064 - They have. - Which led me to Polynesian fare. 312 00:12:07,066 --> 00:12:09,001 I like to think of the Mai Tai 313 00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:11,795 as the margarita of the South Pacific. 314 00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:14,664 You don't do anything on a whim, do you? 315 00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:17,226 Did once, didn't like it. 316 00:12:19,811 --> 00:12:21,608 I have an idea for a Star Trek episode 317 00:12:21,611 --> 00:12:23,141 I'd like to present to you. 318 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,326 Why me? 319 00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,826 Because I'm hoping to sell it, 320 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,649 and since it's going to be broadcast television, 321 00:12:27,651 --> 00:12:29,980 I want to make sure the common man can understand it. 322 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:32,387 Well, I understand I was just insulted. 323 00:12:32,389 --> 00:12:34,751 Excellent, I came to the right common man. 324 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:36,128 We start on 325 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,451 a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel IV, 326 00:12:38,454 --> 00:12:39,951 then see a shuttlecraft, 327 00:12:39,954 --> 00:12:43,048 a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space. 328 00:12:43,051 --> 00:12:44,490 Inside the shuttlecraft, 329 00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:47,115 we see Lieutenant Worf struggling to breathe. 330 00:12:47,118 --> 00:12:50,490 He's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus. 331 00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:52,401 - Where are you going? - I'm listening. 332 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:53,702 Cough, cough. 333 00:12:53,704 --> 00:12:55,428 Worf is choking on spores, 334 00:12:55,431 --> 00:12:57,278 but not just your everyday spores, 335 00:12:57,281 --> 00:12:58,608 these are spores with their own 336 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,983 - evil agenda. - Uh-huh. 337 00:12:59,986 --> 00:13:02,645 And, as he sinks into a coma, a mysterious figure 338 00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:03,928 in a spacesuit approaches. 339 00:13:03,931 --> 00:13:05,938 He lowers the visor of his helmet revealing... 340 00:13:05,941 --> 00:13:07,724 Future Worf. Are you hooked? 341 00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:09,452 Oh, yeah. 342 00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:10,755 Main titles. 343 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,362 Cue theme song and the soothing voice 344 00:13:12,364 --> 00:13:15,366 of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says... 345 00:13:16,704 --> 00:13:18,667 "Space..." 346 00:13:19,905 --> 00:13:22,004 "...the final frontier." 347 00:13:22,007 --> 00:13:24,837 Who's Patrick Stewart? 348 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,211 - Feeling better? - I'm fine, 349 00:13:29,214 --> 00:13:31,334 just having a little moment earlier. 350 00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:32,457 Oh, yeah. 351 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,904 - All right. - Mm. 352 00:13:34,907 --> 00:13:36,345 Mmm. 353 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,858 Seems like running into Pastor Rob kind of... 354 00:13:41,861 --> 00:13:43,629 kind of rattled you a little bit. 355 00:13:43,631 --> 00:13:46,023 Oh, well... 356 00:13:47,231 --> 00:13:48,850 I was asked to leave the church, 357 00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:51,613 and he's still there, so... 358 00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:53,492 - it's still a little fresh. - Mm. 359 00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:56,027 Yeah, I get that. 360 00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:58,366 - Seems like a nice guy, though. - Oh, yeah, 361 00:13:58,369 --> 00:14:00,041 he's great. 362 00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:01,811 Cute as a button. 363 00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:03,816 I guess. 364 00:14:03,818 --> 00:14:06,410 I prefer a bigger man. 365 00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,052 Like George? 366 00:14:08,061 --> 00:14:10,923 Oh, yeah. Bigger the better. 367 00:14:11,779 --> 00:14:14,147 Deep within the Enterprise's control room, 368 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,250 Future Worf says, 369 00:14:15,253 --> 00:14:16,787 "I willingly sacrifice myself 370 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,395 for the good of this mission," 371 00:14:18,397 --> 00:14:20,230 then throws himself into the warp core. 372 00:14:20,232 --> 00:14:21,962 There's an explosion of tachyons. 373 00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:25,264 The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus. 374 00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:26,463 Fade out. 375 00:14:27,595 --> 00:14:29,829 Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper. 376 00:14:30,943 --> 00:14:33,510 What do you think? 377 00:14:33,512 --> 00:14:36,537 If this Worf fella was infected on the shuttles, 378 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,280 why would he come back to the Enterprise 379 00:14:38,282 --> 00:14:40,404 and put everyone else in danger? 380 00:14:40,407 --> 00:14:42,340 Well... 381 00:14:42,343 --> 00:14:45,365 My father found a flaw in my story, 382 00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,620 my sister had a job I envied. 383 00:14:47,623 --> 00:14:50,259 It was a big day for the common man. 384 00:14:50,261 --> 00:14:52,496 But then I had an idea that, 385 00:14:52,498 --> 00:14:54,866 like Future Worf, was ahead of its time. 386 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,498 - Missy. - What? 387 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,104 Why is a dollar worth a dollar? 388 00:15:00,106 --> 00:15:01,537 Sheldon, I'm busy. 389 00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:03,605 Me too. I've solved all of our money problems. 390 00:15:03,607 --> 00:15:05,911 I'm going to invent my own digital currency. 391 00:15:05,913 --> 00:15:07,365 Like, printing your own? 392 00:15:07,368 --> 00:15:10,102 No. First, we assign value to difficult-to-find numbers 393 00:15:10,105 --> 00:15:11,679 and store them in a computer database. 394 00:15:11,682 --> 00:15:13,715 Then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers, 395 00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:15,846 then we encourage people to switch from currencies 396 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,290 that are government-backed to ours. 397 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,319 It's brilliant. I'm going to be rich. 398 00:15:20,321 --> 00:15:21,790 Speaking of, 399 00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:24,922 did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude? 400 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,163 Or he lives in a rich dude's basement. 401 00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:28,799 I'm still figuring it out. 402 00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:34,803 Oh, thank you, tiki woman. 403 00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:36,073 So... 404 00:15:36,075 --> 00:15:37,672 what's going on at work? 405 00:15:37,674 --> 00:15:39,604 I don't want to bore you with science talk. 406 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,912 No, no, I'm interested. 407 00:15:40,915 --> 00:15:43,412 Excellent. We're in a race with the Finnish team to see 408 00:15:43,415 --> 00:15:45,889 who can correct the unification of the leptons. 409 00:15:45,892 --> 00:15:48,716 As you can imagine, the world waits anxiously 410 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:51,146 while we see who crosses the finish line first. 411 00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:53,484 So, the Finnish may be at the finish line? 412 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,747 Oh, you're witty, too. 413 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,691 More cheese to bait the trap. 414 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,959 Maybe we should order dinner. 415 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,936 Nonsense, there's food right here. 416 00:16:04,939 --> 00:16:06,103 Pineapple, 417 00:16:06,105 --> 00:16:07,975 prickly on the outside, 418 00:16:07,978 --> 00:16:09,712 but beautiful inside, 419 00:16:09,715 --> 00:16:11,843 just like you. 420 00:16:15,628 --> 00:16:17,848 And you know that Shannon girl... 421 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,082 With Pastor Rob? 422 00:16:19,084 --> 00:16:21,209 She was a bedwetter. 423 00:16:22,345 --> 00:16:23,477 Ten years old. 424 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:24,670 That's not normal. 425 00:16:24,673 --> 00:16:26,253 Maybe he'll get a fun little surprise 426 00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:27,490 on their honeymoon. 427 00:16:27,492 --> 00:16:30,325 Oh, no, they're not getting married. 428 00:16:30,327 --> 00:16:31,556 Well, how do you know? 429 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,989 I don't. 430 00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:35,740 I just think he could do better. 431 00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:38,372 Mary Cooper. 432 00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:40,431 Are you sweet on him? 433 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,205 No! What? 434 00:16:42,207 --> 00:16:45,053 I am a married woman. 435 00:16:45,056 --> 00:16:46,389 Happily. 436 00:16:46,392 --> 00:16:48,980 Well, I was married once, too, didn't stop me from looking. 437 00:16:48,983 --> 00:16:51,949 Well, I'm not looking. 438 00:16:51,951 --> 00:16:53,068 Where you going? 439 00:16:53,071 --> 00:16:54,175 To dance. 440 00:16:54,178 --> 00:16:56,086 I didn't think you Baptists did that. 441 00:16:56,089 --> 00:16:57,373 We don't drink, neither. 442 00:16:57,376 --> 00:16:58,752 Ooh! 443 00:16:58,755 --> 00:17:00,759 - Look at me. Ooh! - Wow. 444 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,654 I'm pretty good. 445 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,162 Are you familiar with the phrase, 446 00:17:06,165 --> 00:17:08,632 - "You need money to make money"? - No. 447 00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:11,369 Well, it's a phrase, and my clever twist on it is, 448 00:17:11,371 --> 00:17:13,608 "I'm going to make money to make money." 449 00:17:13,611 --> 00:17:14,858 Mm-hmm. 450 00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:16,705 Now, when I say "make money," you might think that 451 00:17:16,707 --> 00:17:18,675 I'm talking about counterfeiting, but no, 452 00:17:18,677 --> 00:17:20,865 I'm talking about creating a unique decentralized 453 00:17:20,868 --> 00:17:23,178 digital currency that people can pay to own. 454 00:17:23,181 --> 00:17:24,315 Sounds like a scam. 455 00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:26,014 No, it's an open-source currency 456 00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:28,382 that has value due to mathematical scarcity. 457 00:17:28,385 --> 00:17:29,975 Sounds pretty scammy. 458 00:17:29,978 --> 00:17:31,434 You don't understand. 459 00:17:31,437 --> 00:17:32,608 I do. 460 00:17:32,611 --> 00:17:34,388 You say a bunch of fancy jibber-jabber, 461 00:17:34,391 --> 00:17:36,749 people don't want to admit they're too stupid to understand, 462 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:37,887 then they give you their money. 463 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:40,598 Well... um... sort of. 464 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,800 Love it. How do we get started? 465 00:17:42,803 --> 00:17:45,396 Well, all we need is a mainframe computer. 466 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,889 - How much is that? - New, about half a million dollars, 467 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:51,196 but I'm hoping to find something slightly used. 468 00:17:51,199 --> 00:17:53,501 Time will prove me right. 469 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,670 You're not gonna believe this, 470 00:17:56,673 --> 00:17:58,072 but I don't go on a lot of dates. 471 00:17:58,075 --> 00:17:59,490 No. 472 00:17:59,493 --> 00:18:01,147 It's true. 473 00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:03,246 Sure, I did okay as a younger man, but 474 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,592 there was a war on and 475 00:18:04,595 --> 00:18:06,884 most of the able-bodied men were elsewhere. 476 00:18:06,887 --> 00:18:09,028 So, you sowed some oats, I get it. 477 00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:10,295 A whole field of them. 478 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:12,161 I was the Johnny Appleseed of oats. 479 00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:13,230 Okay. 480 00:18:13,232 --> 00:18:15,424 But here's the thing. 481 00:18:15,426 --> 00:18:18,494 Once you put off matrimony past a certain point, 482 00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:21,336 women start to think of you as... What's the word? 483 00:18:21,338 --> 00:18:23,900 - Creepy? - There it is. 484 00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,673 And then along comes you, 485 00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:27,442 my little Texas firecracker, 486 00:18:27,444 --> 00:18:28,773 playing the game of life 487 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,205 by her own set of rules. 488 00:18:30,207 --> 00:18:33,279 I'm a firecracker, I'm a pineapple... 489 00:18:33,282 --> 00:18:34,650 Good for me. 490 00:18:34,652 --> 00:18:36,436 Can I ask you a personal question? 491 00:18:36,439 --> 00:18:37,781 Oh, I wish you wouldn't. 492 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,249 How would you like to make love to a man 493 00:18:40,251 --> 00:18:42,192 who shook the hand of Albert Einstein? 494 00:18:42,194 --> 00:18:43,952 And... you did. 495 00:18:43,954 --> 00:18:45,912 This one right here. 496 00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,329 I didn't wash it for a week. 497 00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:49,062 Not a selling point. 498 00:18:50,335 --> 00:18:53,369 Excuse me for a moment. 499 00:18:53,371 --> 00:18:55,574 I have to toss my cookies. 500 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,568 Hey. 501 00:19:01,571 --> 00:19:03,248 Where you been? 502 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:06,216 Brenda and I went dancing. 503 00:19:06,218 --> 00:19:08,012 You went dancing? 504 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,956 Yeah, and I'm darn good at it. 505 00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:13,389 Okay. 506 00:19:13,391 --> 00:19:15,726 - The kids asleep? - Yep. 507 00:19:16,602 --> 00:19:19,377 You want to fool around? 508 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:21,966 Are you messing with me? 509 00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:24,829 I'm hoping to. 510 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,459 Well, hot diggity dog. 511 00:19:32,808 --> 00:19:35,248 Welcome to King Kong Comics. I'm Missy. 512 00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:36,995 If you have any questions, please let me know. 513 00:19:36,997 --> 00:19:38,217 I don't have any questions. 514 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,209 I know more about comic books than you do. 515 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,419 Okay. What you may not know is the new 516 00:19:42,421 --> 00:19:44,545 Green Lantern just came in. 517 00:19:44,548 --> 00:19:46,998 Also, if you like green things, I recommend Green Arrow, 518 00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:49,131 and, of course, the Hulk. His skin is green. 519 00:19:49,134 --> 00:19:50,936 I know that. Everyone knows that. 520 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:52,983 Uh-oh, are you gonna smash things? 521 00:19:52,986 --> 00:19:54,983 That's something the Hulk does when he gets upset. 522 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,302 I'm not upset. 523 00:19:56,304 --> 00:19:57,735 Cool. If you need something, 524 00:19:57,737 --> 00:20:00,232 I'll be at the front counter. Where I work. 525 00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:11,365 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.MY-SUBS.com --