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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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- Here we are.
- What is this?
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The dorm room.
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It's all yours.
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Now you can study, take
naps, do whatever you want.
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No one's living here?
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Well, we had an Indian exchange student,
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but he developed a taste for barbecue,
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so his parents made him go home.
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Wait, he has a room here and at school?
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You have your own room. I
never had that growing up.
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And then I was in the barracks,
and then I married your mother.
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Dang.
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Yeah, tell me about it.
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What happened to
appreciating what you have?
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Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.
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- Wait, you have a single?
- Uh-huh.
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And you don't even sleep here?
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Well, sometimes I take naps,
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but that mattress is lumpy, lumpy.
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I was learning to enjoy
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the perks of university life,
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including a dorm to study and nap in.
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And since this was college,
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I was even allowed to
have girls in my room.
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Here we go. Nice and clean.
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Did you use the unscented detergent?
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You've got a nose. Sniff it yourself.
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I even had my own bathroom,
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which gave me the perfect place to store
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my impressive collection of sunscreens
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and bug repellents.
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However, one thing I
would never get used to
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was college students' love of
blasting rock and roll music.
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Uh, who are you?
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I'm in the room next door.
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Oh, you're that smart kid.
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Who is it?
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That smart kid.
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- Tell him to come in.
- Want to come in?
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- No, I'm here to complain.
- He's here to complain.
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- Then don't let him in.
- You can't come in.
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I'm trying to study, and your
loud music is very distracting.
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- You mean the game?
- "The game"?
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I'm not up on today's
one-named pop stars.
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No. It's a video game.
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You have video games?
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A bunch. You play?
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My meemaw and I beat Quest of Adeera.
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Dude, this kid beat Adeera.
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- Well, tell him to come in.
- Come in.
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- Hello.
- What's up, homey?
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Why do you have a Rosetta stone poster?
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- Linguistics major.
- Hmm.
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Sit. You can play next.
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So, how old are you?
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Twelve.
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- Damn.
- And they let you
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live here by yourself?
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That room's just for
during the day to study.
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Didn't I see some lady in there?
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That must've been my mom.
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Dude, his mom is hot.
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What is wrong with you?
Don't listen to him.
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He thinks any female
with a pulse is hot.
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I don't think your mom is hot.
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Congratulations, you're
more mature than him.
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Don't feel bad. I'm more
mature than most people.
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You're up.
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Grown-ups and the
elderly had always liked me,
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and now I had won over undergrads.
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Like a beloved board game,
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I'm fun for ages nine to 90.
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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Oh, look at these prices.
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I could make this dress for Missy.
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Meemaw, make her stop.
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Come on, Mary. You already got
one kid that gets picked on.
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Oh, cute.
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Oh, it's a little short.
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It's supposed to be this length.
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It's adorable.
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Thank you.
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Does it come down any?
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Mom.
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Come on, Mary, it's fine.
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Well, you're not getting it.
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All my friends dress like this.
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Arms by your sides. I want to measure.
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See? It's shorter than your fingertips.
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What the hell is happening?
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- She wants to ruin my life.
- The school dress code
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says that all bottoms must
extend past the fingertips.
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It's close enough, and
they don't even check.
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Well, I am not wasting good money
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on something that you
can't wear to school.
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Then I'll wear it on weekends.
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Go try on something else.
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I'll get it for her. I
don't mind wasting my money.
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Please?
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Fine.
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But you are not wearing it to school,
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and you are not wearing
it without tights.
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Love you.
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Hey, I'm the one paying for it.
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Love you more.
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Hear that?
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- Hey, Tom. You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.
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Why don't you shut the
door and have a seat.
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The door?
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This can't be good.
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Uh, look,
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you know your team
didn't have a great year.
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- I'm aware.
- I'm aware,
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too, 'cause I've been
hearing about it everywhere.
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The grocery store, gas station,
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barbershop.
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And I'm only in there,
like, 30 seconds, George.
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I know people are upset,
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- but we're gonna turn things around.
- Look,
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I'm on your side.
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But you should know the
boosters got pitchforks out.
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Not literally, but Charlie Dean owns
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that feed store, so...
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- Are you saying I'm losing my job?
- No.
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No, no, I'm saying
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you just got some fires to put out.
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- Well, what am I supposedto do?
- Talk to the boosters.
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Tell 'em something encouraging.
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Yeah. Got it.
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And say it like your job depends on it.
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Not that it does.
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But it does.
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Watch out for the CyberToad.
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- What's a CyberToad?
- The evil little robot frogs.
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Although they're only known
as CyberToads in the west.
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- In Japan they're known as...
- MechaGamas.
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Can I finish my own thoughts, please?
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He's very sensitive.
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I'm protective of my fun facts, too.
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I'm hungry. You wanna order something?
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- Chinese?
- Little man, you want Chinese?
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- I don't know. I've never had Chinese food.
- Really?
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We get it, like, two,
three times a week.
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Chinese food three times a week?
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That seems excessive.
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How have you never had an egg roll?
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Mom, can I please be picked up later?
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No. Your meemaw's already on her way.
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But the people next door
want me to try an egg roll.
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What people?
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Don't take food from strangers.
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They're not strangers.
They're Oscar and Darren.
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Well, they're strangers to me.
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Well, maybe when Meemaw gets here,
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she can wait in the car for a few hours.
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That is not happening, and you know it.
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Can we at least have
Chinese food for dinner?
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I'm making Rice-A-Roni.
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- Does that count?
- Nothing Chinese ends in "a-roni."
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Well, their loss.
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Oh, I know that face.
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Heartburn? Gas? What
are we working with?
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Not in the mood, Wayne.
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Are you in the mood for
Tums? I could hook you up.
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Apparently, the football boosters think
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I'm not doing my job.
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Just 'cause they give a
little money to the team...
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A lot of money.
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They give some amount
of money to the team.
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And the new scoreboard.
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Okay. But I-I give my
time, my talent, my sweat.
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You see any boosters out there
doing two-a-day summer practice?
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- I do not.
- Damn right.
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If they really want to help,
you know what they could do?
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Give birth to stronger, faster kids,
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'cause theirs ain't cutting it.
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You know you're gonna have
to talk to them, right?
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Yes.
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And you know you can't say that
stuff about their kids, right?
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Well, what if it comes up organically?
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Maybe I should come.
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I'm not gonna insult their children.
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You sure?
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Okay, come.
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- Where's the coffee?
- I finished it.
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When you finish a pot,
you're supposed to make more.
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Oh, is that the rule?
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It is for him.
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Why are you reading my paper?
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Well, pardon me for keeping
up on events of the day.
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- Tomorrow's headline: Father Strangles Son.
- Good luck.
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My horoscope says
"things are looking up."
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Well, don't you look nice.
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Nice and boring, thanks to you.
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Is everyone gonna be crabby today?
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I've been a delight.
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00:08:02,658 --> 00:08:04,484
Dad, can we just leave?
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00:08:04,487 --> 00:08:06,095
I haven't had my coffee yet.
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00:08:06,098 --> 00:08:07,315
I'll give you a ride.
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00:08:07,318 --> 00:08:08,839
Thanks.
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00:08:08,842 --> 00:08:10,296
Where are the damn filters?
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They're in the cabinet,
where they always are.
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These two, fighting like
the Serbs and Croatians
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00:08:15,741 --> 00:08:16,960
in Bosnia.
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00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:23,585
Mom make you wear that?
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00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:24,851
Yeah.
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00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:27,625
She did the same thing
to me with pleated khakis.
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00:08:27,628 --> 00:08:29,846
I looked like Pastor Jeff.
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00:08:29,849 --> 00:08:32,554
Well, she doesn't know
that I brought a change.
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00:08:32,557 --> 00:08:33,734
Good for you.
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00:08:33,737 --> 00:08:36,607
- I tried cutting the khakis into shorts.
- Did it help?
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00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:38,703
No. I looked like Sheldon.
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00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:41,142
That's tragic.
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00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,710
You never get any glory
without a little pain.
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00:08:43,713 --> 00:08:46,192
I know we've had our share lately,
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00:08:46,195 --> 00:08:48,632
but we've got the pieces
in place for next year.
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00:08:48,635 --> 00:08:52,028
With your support, we're
gonna make it happen.
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00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:55,023
I think we can agree that our
boys are in good hands here.
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00:08:55,026 --> 00:08:58,549
So thanks for coming out. Go, Wolves.
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00:08:58,552 --> 00:08:59,899
I got a question.
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00:08:59,902 --> 00:09:02,937
- Go ahead, Roy.
- That game against Tyler.
223
00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:05,679
What in the hell were you thinking
224
00:09:05,682 --> 00:09:08,335
punting with a minute 24 on the clock?
225
00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:09,861
That's a fair question.
226
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,247
Sure is.
227
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:15,867
That was a tough one.
228
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,750
But our offense was giving up 30 pounds
229
00:09:17,753 --> 00:09:19,318
to everyone across the line.
230
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:24,007
And we had a quarterback who
had an uneasy relationship
231
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:27,971
with... with holding onto the ball.
232
00:09:28,605 --> 00:09:30,203
So you're blaming our kids?
233
00:09:30,206 --> 00:09:31,205
- Well...
- No.
234
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:32,207
- No?
- No.
235
00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:33,312
No.
236
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,195
Look, they're great
kids. A lot of heart.
237
00:09:35,198 --> 00:09:37,437
They were getting killed out there.
238
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,788
It's a coach's job to
know when to pull back.
239
00:09:39,791 --> 00:09:41,710
So your strategy is to surrender.
240
00:09:41,713 --> 00:09:43,946
- That's not what I'm saying.
- You know who don't surrender?
241
00:09:43,948 --> 00:09:45,905
That new coach they got up at Carthage.
242
00:09:45,908 --> 00:09:48,070
- You know he played for the Packers.
- Mm-hmm.
243
00:09:48,073 --> 00:09:50,030
Oh, come on. He played for two minutes
244
00:09:50,033 --> 00:09:51,990
and broke his collarbone,
and that was his career.
245
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,727
Well, that's two minutes
more than you played.
246
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,205
Help me.
247
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,062
Vince Lombardi never
played for the pros.
248
00:10:01,065 --> 00:10:02,891
So now this clown is Vince Lombardi?
249
00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:07,921
I'm not Lombardi, but I don't
need to put up with this crap.
250
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,898
Wait, what I think we're all seeing
251
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:10,921
is the passion
252
00:10:10,924 --> 00:10:13,118
- that Coach Cooper brings to the field.
- No, what you're seeing
253
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,585
is me running out of
patience. Meeting's over.
254
00:10:15,588 --> 00:10:17,283
Oh, there it is.
255
00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:19,593
The Cooper Surrender.
256
00:10:19,596 --> 00:10:22,292
- The Cooper Surrender!
- Bye-bye.
257
00:10:43,549 --> 00:10:45,296
What's the matter?
258
00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:47,255
Everything.
259
00:10:47,258 --> 00:10:48,825
Did somebody die?
260
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,067
No.
261
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:52,940
Then we can fix it.
262
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:56,379
Come on. Come on.
263
00:10:56,382 --> 00:10:58,460
I was wearing the new skirt,
264
00:10:58,463 --> 00:11:00,308
and I felt really good.
265
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,804
Cute skirt.
266
00:11:01,807 --> 00:11:03,241
Thanks.
267
00:11:03,244 --> 00:11:05,986
Your legs are so hairy.
268
00:11:06,824 --> 00:11:09,172
- Ew.
- Gross.
269
00:11:09,175 --> 00:11:12,524
- Those bitches.
- Thank you.
270
00:11:12,527 --> 00:11:15,375
Is that why you got on sweat pants?
271
00:11:15,378 --> 00:11:17,515
It gets worse.
272
00:11:17,518 --> 00:11:18,890
Oh, boy.
273
00:11:18,893 --> 00:11:21,914
I came home, and I was in the bathroom,
274
00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:24,351
and I saw Mom's leg razor.
275
00:11:24,354 --> 00:11:25,962
Oh, no. Please tell me
276
00:11:25,965 --> 00:11:27,530
you also saw shaving cream.
277
00:11:27,533 --> 00:11:29,707
- I didn't.
- Soap?
278
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:32,885
Water? Lotion?
279
00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:34,411
Anything?
280
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,437
Hey, it's Darren.
281
00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:45,391
Hello.
282
00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:47,481
Any chance you play
Dungeons and Dragons?
283
00:11:47,484 --> 00:11:49,726
And how. I once created a campaign
284
00:11:49,729 --> 00:11:52,789
set in 1940s London where
Alan Turing was a character,
285
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,792
and I had the
mathematicians be magic users
286
00:11:54,795 --> 00:11:56,476
with theorems instead of spells.
287
00:11:56,479 --> 00:11:57,870
The intelligence
officers were clerics...
288
00:11:57,872 --> 00:11:59,841
"Yes" works. We're playing
tonight and we're down
289
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,334
a magic user. You in?
290
00:12:01,337 --> 00:12:02,505
When are you playing?
291
00:12:02,508 --> 00:12:04,537
We start at 7:00.
We'll go till whenever.
292
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:06,599
My mom didn't let me
stay past 6:00 yesterday.
293
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:09,388
- She'll never let me stay till "whenever."
- Bummer.
294
00:12:09,391 --> 00:12:11,435
Mm. You could play at my house.
295
00:12:11,438 --> 00:12:13,699
- No.
- Bummer.
296
00:12:13,702 --> 00:12:15,789
I've never said that
before. Did it sound cool?
297
00:12:15,792 --> 00:12:18,229
- No.
- Bummer.
298
00:12:23,527 --> 00:12:26,267
Oh, before you open that,
could you pick up Sheldon
299
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:28,618
- so I can get dinner on?
- Do I have to?
300
00:12:28,621 --> 00:12:32,100
I'm sorry. I guess I'll do
all the parenting around here.
301
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:35,235
I'm having a hell of a day.
Can I get five minutes' peace?
302
00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:37,373
When do I get five minutes' peace?
303
00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:40,490
Honestly, can you just take
this one thing off my plate?
304
00:12:44,782 --> 00:12:46,173
Hello?
305
00:12:46,176 --> 00:12:48,318
Dad, my friends are playing
Dungeons and Dragons.
306
00:12:48,321 --> 00:12:50,059
Can I please stay the
night in my dorm room?
307
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:51,552
I promise it's safe.
308
00:12:51,555 --> 00:12:53,425
Fine with me.
309
00:12:53,428 --> 00:12:55,645
Thank you. Bye.
310
00:12:55,648 --> 00:12:57,692
That was easy.
311
00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:59,295
- Who was that?
- Sheldon.
312
00:12:59,298 --> 00:13:00,904
He's gonna stay the night in his dorm.
313
00:13:00,907 --> 00:13:03,162
Why would you let him do that?
314
00:13:03,165 --> 00:13:04,731
One more thing off your plate.
315
00:13:11,677 --> 00:13:13,285
You did not just tell our son
316
00:13:13,288 --> 00:13:15,513
that he could stay the night by himself.
317
00:13:15,516 --> 00:13:18,373
The campus is safe, and he's not
by himself, he's with friends.
318
00:13:18,376 --> 00:13:20,333
Friends that we don't know.
319
00:13:20,336 --> 00:13:21,849
What if there is alcohol?
320
00:13:21,852 --> 00:13:23,818
Then they're gonna
get a lot of fun facts
321
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:25,604
about the history of
fermented beverages.
322
00:13:25,607 --> 00:13:27,432
I am serious.
323
00:13:27,435 --> 00:13:29,060
So am I. How else would I know
324
00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:30,655
that monkeys get drunk
by eating rotten fruit
325
00:13:30,657 --> 00:13:31,917
off the jungle floor?
326
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,921
He is not ready for
this kind of situation.
327
00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:36,490
Mary, he's a good kid.
328
00:13:36,493 --> 00:13:38,193
He's not gonna drink
anything he shouldn't.
329
00:13:38,196 --> 00:13:39,805
And if he cared about peer pressure,
330
00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:40,983
he wouldn't wear a bow tie.
331
00:13:43,359 --> 00:13:45,359
I don't know. I don't think I should.
332
00:13:45,362 --> 00:13:47,014
It's just root beer.
333
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:49,943
This late in the evening,
my mother wouldn't approve.
334
00:13:49,946 --> 00:13:51,216
Okay.
335
00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:53,052
Then again, I didn't
think they'd let me stay,
336
00:13:53,055 --> 00:13:55,534
- and they did, so maybe it's fine.
- I know,
337
00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:58,584
- why don't you roll for it?
- Ooh, good idea.
338
00:14:00,185 --> 00:14:02,189
Seventeen. Guess I'll have it.
339
00:14:04,938 --> 00:14:06,198
We playing?
340
00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:08,105
Hold on. Do you have a coaster?
341
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,238
Yeah, it's in the china cabinet.
342
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,576
And where would that be?
343
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,289
You're good at Band-Aids.
344
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:20,031
I've had practice on Sheldon.
345
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:22,250
He's a fragile boy.
346
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:25,490
- I don't want to go back to school tomorrow.
- You have to!
347
00:14:25,493 --> 00:14:27,990
You can't let them win.
348
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,515
But wear pants.
349
00:14:29,518 --> 00:14:30,908
This is hard to look at.
350
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:32,826
I heard women in Europe don't shave.
351
00:14:32,829 --> 00:14:34,393
Maybe I should move there.
352
00:14:34,396 --> 00:14:36,089
They also drink warm beer.
353
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,833
They don't know what they're doing.
354
00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:40,935
Will you show me how
to do it the right way?
355
00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:42,764
Shave? Yeah.
356
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:45,071
Drink? Your dad's the expert.
357
00:14:45,074 --> 00:14:46,599
Boys have it so easy.
358
00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:48,459
They can be as hairy as they want.
359
00:14:48,462 --> 00:14:50,310
Yeah, but they gotta
walk around being dumb
360
00:14:50,313 --> 00:14:51,584
and smelly all the time.
361
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:52,748
Who wants that?
362
00:14:52,751 --> 00:14:54,146
So I have to shave forever,
363
00:14:54,149 --> 00:14:56,283
then marry someone
who's dumb and smelly?
364
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,983
Not necessarily, but...
365
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,636
there's a good chance.
366
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,060
That's depressing.
367
00:15:02,063 --> 00:15:04,164
That's where the drinking comes in.
368
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:08,731
Where you going?
369
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,482
To get our son.
370
00:15:10,485 --> 00:15:12,790
Mary, leave him alone. He's fine.
371
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,693
We have no idea who he's with,
372
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,217
and you don't even care.
373
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:19,743
You're right. Do whatever you want.
374
00:15:19,746 --> 00:15:21,398
What is your problem?
375
00:15:21,401 --> 00:15:22,837
Doesn't matter.
376
00:15:23,969 --> 00:15:25,490
Hey.
377
00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:31,718
If something is going on, tell me.
378
00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:36,698
They're coming after me at work.
379
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:38,483
Who?
380
00:15:38,486 --> 00:15:41,968
The boosters. They want a new coach.
381
00:15:44,774 --> 00:15:46,164
Are you getting fired?
382
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:50,258
I don't know. Maybe.
383
00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:57,864
Don't you have to go?
384
00:16:06,649 --> 00:16:08,427
I'm sorry.
385
00:16:21,492 --> 00:16:23,190
Thank you.
386
00:16:28,711 --> 00:16:30,406
"You open the gate of the crypt,
387
00:16:30,409 --> 00:16:32,901
and you see two identical
elven princesses."
388
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,382
Sheldon, what do you do?
389
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:37,255
I-I don't feel so good.
390
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,471
What's going on?
391
00:16:38,474 --> 00:16:40,214
My stomach hurts.
392
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,607
How much did you eat?
393
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,306
Well...
394
00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:50,050
Dude.
395
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,878
I need to lie down.
396
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,740
Oh, I don't want to throw up.
397
00:16:54,743 --> 00:16:56,177
We don't want you to throw up.
398
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,189
- If he throws up, I throw up.
- Well, what should we do?
399
00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,581
I don't know. Why are you asking me?
400
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,105
You're the closest to a mom here.
401
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,541
I don't know. Call his mom.
402
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,933
Oh, no, don't call my mom.
403
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,607
She'll never let me do this again.
404
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,574
Get him something to throw up in.
405
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:09,974
No, not the Skittles.
406
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,073
Here, here.
407
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,509
Here.
408
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,295
Next door there's an
emergency Alka-Seltzer tablet
409
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,905
in my bathroom medicine chest.
410
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:19,906
You have a bathroom?
411
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,125
Why does he get a bathroom?
412
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,534
Go throw up in your own bathroom.
413
00:17:22,537 --> 00:17:25,263
I don't know if I can make it.
414
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:30,569
Get his door!
415
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,744
It's locked.
416
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,185
Key.
417
00:17:33,188 --> 00:17:35,094
- I'm not gonna make it.
- Please make it.
418
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,272
What is going on? Sheldon, are you okay?
419
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,768
My stomach hurts.
420
00:17:39,771 --> 00:17:41,449
He's gonna throw up.
421
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,748
Did you give him beer?
Did they give you beer?!
422
00:17:43,751 --> 00:17:45,018
Just root beer.
423
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,826
It's gonna be okay, baby.
424
00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:48,611
Oh...
425
00:17:48,614 --> 00:17:50,109
Why is it so colorful?
426
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,678
Too many... Skittles.
427
00:17:53,945 --> 00:17:59,646
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