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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Would you teach me how
to throw a baseball?
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What's bringing this on?
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- I don't know.
- You Coach Ballard?
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That'd be me.
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My daughter's here to try out.
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She made the team.
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Congratulations.
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And Meemaw got a date with the coach.
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I was married for 18 years,
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and I got to tell you,
those were the two best years
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of my life.
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Practice running late?
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Yeah.
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The Sparks kid got himself
stuck in the bathroom.
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How'd that happen?
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Well, the door's a push
and he was a-pulling.
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Look at him out there.
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Billy's my grandson.
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Oh.
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I am so sorry. I...
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I mean, not that he's your grandson.
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I'm just... I'm-a stop talking now.
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I'm messing with you.
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Well...
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You got me, all right.
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Ah, no.
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That one's mine over there. Evan.
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Oh, I-isn't that the coach's grandson?
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Uh-huh.
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So you must be Coach Ballard's ex-wife?
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Yeah. Why?
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No reason.
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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Growing up, I had an
aversion to any type of group.
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For example, rock groups.
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I'll restrict my drug
use to Rolaids, thank you.
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Group costumes.
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I'll tell you who really
didn't have a heart: my mother,
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for making me wear a funnel on my head.
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But of all the groups I didn't like,
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by far the worst was...
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Group projects.
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Yeah. You heard me.
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This would be a lot
more fun with margaritas.
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What isn't?
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Then you'd love the way I ran the PTA.
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And you'd love the way
I show up at church.
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You're fun.
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We ought to go out for drinks one night.
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I'll give you my number.
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Oh, yeah. Oh, well...
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All right. I'm around
tomorrow if you're free.
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Uh, sure.
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You should know something, though.
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Um, I'm kind of dating your ex-husband.
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You waited till now to tell me?
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You're sneaky. I like that.
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That is not the feedback I usually get.
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Well, since we're being honest,
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I knew who you were the whole time.
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That's why I came over here.
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Damn. Nicely played.
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So we're still on for drinks?
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Oh, hell yeah.
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Yeehaw.
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Can't we just do this individually?
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Why are you complaining? I'm
the one stuck working with a kid.
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Hey. When it comes to physics,
I'm practically a coot.
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Which is an old person word
for someone who's old. Tell him.
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- It is.
- Let's just go
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to a coffee shop and get this over with.
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I can't go now. I have to get
home for my bath and bedtime.
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Which is also something
an old person does.
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That we do.
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Can I at least switch groups?
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Sorry. I assigned this
project because it's important
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for scientists to learn
how to collaborate.
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If we must work together,
here's my proposal.
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I do everything by myself
and put their names on it.
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- No.
- What's going on?
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- Dr. Sturgis is forcing us to collaborate.
- Oh...
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And we wanted to get it done tonight,
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but apparently there's a
bedtime and shower conflict.
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Bubble bath.
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Oh, right, it's bath night.
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How about we work in my dorm tomorrow?
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Um, I don't know
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if a dormitory is the right
environment for someone his age.
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If you're worried
about the beer-drinking,
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Dad has thoroughly desensitized me.
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How about you all
come work at our house?
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I guess if that's our only option.
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It'll be fun. I'll make food.
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You can even bring your laundry.
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That actually would be great.
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Now this man's soiled underpants
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will be in my kitchen.
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Thank you.
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I-I just don't understand why
you want to go out with her.
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You don't? She seems like fun.
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Well, yeah, she is, until you marry her
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and then you find her sleeping
upside down in the closet.
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No, I mean, seriously.
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You don't think that having drinks
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with my ex-wife is a little weird?
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You went camping with John.
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Oh, it was weird.
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Trust me. Learn from me.
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She spent 18 years with you.
I'd rather learn from her.
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So you can dig up a little dirt on me?
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Mm, yeah.
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Well, let me spoil it, then.
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She's gonna tell you about the time
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I had a little too much
to drink on Halloween
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and I ended up puking
in my son's candy bucket.
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I bet she tells it better.
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Then there was the time we had a fight
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- and I locked her out in a hailstorm.
- Damn.
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But in my defense, when I locked
her out it, it was raining.
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The hail was heaven-sent.
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You're a charmer.
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So...
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You didn't do anything you
regret when you were married?
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Oh, lots of stuff.
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Feel free to grab a shovel
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and go have some drinks
with my dead husband.
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Oh, that's dark.
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Not as dark as my secrets.
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Oh, you-you... You are so hot.
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Ooh, chocolate chip.
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Just one. The rest are
for Sheldon's friends.
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- Ready to go?
- Yep.
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- Go where?
- The mall.
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What happened to asking for permission?
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I asked Dad.
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You know that doesn't count.
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That's what he said.
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Bye.
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Love you.
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Keith, Sam, come in.
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Sheldon, your friends are here.
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Let me put
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- that laundry in for you.
- Oh, thank you.
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None for you?
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That's okay. I can do my own laundry.
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Oh. Okay.
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Hello, Sam, Keith,
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big bag of dirty underpants.
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Hey, there.
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I hope you don't mind,
I started without you.
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Not at all.
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Is this one for me or am I gonna
be carrying you home tonight?
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It's all yours.
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Cheers.
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- I like your blouse.
- Oh, you do?
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Truth be told, I changed
my outfit three times.
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For little old me?
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Well, I've never gotten drinks
with a boyfriend's ex-wife.
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Do you try to look hot
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or do you try to look
like you're not trying?
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Well, clearly, you went for hot.
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I wasn't even trying.
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I think we can explain
the additional electrons
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if we assume the barrier
has a slope to it.
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- That won't work.
- Okay, well, what if the electrons
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- are a product of...
- We need to consider that the electrons
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00:07:08,355 --> 00:07:10,090
are actually moving backwards in time.
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No, that math's gonna take forever.
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Let's just do it my way.
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Can you write on the board?
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You probably have the best handwriting.
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Why? Because I'm a girl?
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I'm sure it's better than mine.
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I only learned to write six years ago.
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Well, we've covered
football and grandkids...
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Our favorite Golden Girl.
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Did not peg you for a Dorothy.
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What have we left out?
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00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:36,171
Hmm. I don't know.
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Maybe we've run out
of stuff to talk about.
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Oh, wait. We forgot
about your ex-husband.
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The one you're dating.
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Ah... What do you want to know?
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Well, I know not to piss
him off during a hailstorm.
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He told you that?
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He wanted to throw himself under the bus
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rather than let you push him.
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Well, did he tell you that I
was naked when he locked me out?
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No! Why did he do that?
191
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'Cause I was trying to
hit him with a golf club.
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What were you doing naked
193
00:08:04,935 --> 00:08:07,290
with a golf club in a hailstorm?
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Uh, you know, it was the '70s.
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I remember. What else you got?
196
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,444
Hey, there's my man!
197
00:08:16,446 --> 00:08:18,247
The doctor's in the house!
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- Hello, y'all!
- Oh, boy.
199
00:08:24,412 --> 00:08:26,280
Hey!
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00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:28,964
Connie!
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00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,832
Hey, John.
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00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,339
How?
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00:08:32,342 --> 00:08:33,615
We used to date.
204
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So you dated him and Dale?
205
00:08:36,473 --> 00:08:38,435
You don't have a type, do you?
206
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What are you doing here?
207
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,610
Me? What are you doing here?
208
00:08:41,612 --> 00:08:43,845
Well, this is where I hang out now.
209
00:08:43,847 --> 00:08:45,271
I grade papers,
210
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,831
I chat with the other patrons.
211
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:52,701
The people who like to bet on
football rub my head for luck.
212
00:08:54,057 --> 00:08:55,521
John, this is June.
213
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:57,401
- Hi.
- June.
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00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:02,292
After Juno, wife of Jupiter
and queen of the gods.
215
00:09:02,295 --> 00:09:06,067
No, after the fact that my
mom got knocked up in June.
216
00:09:06,069 --> 00:09:08,270
Ribald! Wonderful.
217
00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:10,205
So, um,
218
00:09:10,207 --> 00:09:12,240
how do you two know each other?
219
00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:13,787
Well, June here, actually,
220
00:09:13,790 --> 00:09:15,972
is Dale's ex-wife.
221
00:09:15,975 --> 00:09:19,413
And I am Connie's ex-boyfriend.
222
00:09:19,416 --> 00:09:23,251
Is that fun or weird?
223
00:09:23,253 --> 00:09:25,053
Yeah.
224
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:27,928
- Okay.
- Okay.
225
00:09:27,931 --> 00:09:29,670
Okay.
226
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,564
All right, something's
not working out here.
227
00:09:35,566 --> 00:09:36,987
Perhaps it's the way you're pacing.
228
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,700
Pick a number of steps and stick to it.
229
00:09:38,702 --> 00:09:40,475
Maybe it's because
you two aren't helping.
230
00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:42,964
Oh, really? But I'm writing
with my prettiest handwriting.
231
00:09:42,967 --> 00:09:44,673
- Don't be a child.
- Hey!
232
00:09:44,675 --> 00:09:46,575
Oh, you were talking to her.
233
00:09:46,577 --> 00:09:49,110
Who wants pigs in a blanket?
234
00:09:49,112 --> 00:09:50,425
Actually, do you have coffee?
235
00:09:50,428 --> 00:09:52,348
I just made a pot, help yourself.
236
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:57,286
- Anything I could get you?
- I need a cigarette.
237
00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:01,456
So how's it going?
238
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,325
Great. Now that those two are gone,
239
00:10:03,327 --> 00:10:05,201
I can finally get some work done.
240
00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:12,534
They call it "Hot Dog on a Stick,"
241
00:10:12,536 --> 00:10:14,701
but that's not the only
food on a stick they sell.
242
00:10:14,704 --> 00:10:15,693
It's not?
243
00:10:15,696 --> 00:10:18,146
- They also got cheese on a stick.
- Oh, no.
244
00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:24,312
- You hiding from that guy?
- No.
245
00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:26,623
Oh, I get it, you like him.
246
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,849
Shut up.
247
00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:29,484
Aren't you a little young for that?
248
00:10:29,486 --> 00:10:31,921
How old were you when
you started liking girls?
249
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,989
Buh-bye. Bye.
250
00:10:33,991 --> 00:10:36,958
Hey, everybody, free
drinks on the house!
251
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,460
Dang.
252
00:10:38,462 --> 00:10:40,462
Way older than you.
253
00:10:40,464 --> 00:10:43,865
Doesn't matter, he
doesn't like me anyway.
254
00:10:43,867 --> 00:10:45,607
Sorry.
255
00:10:47,571 --> 00:10:50,438
I liked it better when
you wanted to marry ALF.
256
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,641
I still kind of do.
257
00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:55,990
So you went camping
with Dale? How'd that go?
258
00:10:55,993 --> 00:10:58,712
Oh, I hesitate to speak ill of him...
259
00:10:58,715 --> 00:11:00,448
I divorced him. Say what you want.
260
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,717
- Then, it was terrible.
- Ah-ha!
261
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,857
All right, come on, let's
talk about something else.
262
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:06,154
Okay.
263
00:11:06,157 --> 00:11:08,682
A lot of people here like
to talk about the game.
264
00:11:08,685 --> 00:11:10,625
Really? You speak sports now?
265
00:11:10,627 --> 00:11:14,863
I sure do. Check this out.
266
00:11:14,865 --> 00:11:19,467
Hey, ref! I suggest you
go back to referee school
267
00:11:19,469 --> 00:11:23,572
and this time pay attention in class!
268
00:11:23,574 --> 00:11:26,308
You tell him, Doc.
269
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,642
You're a doctor?
270
00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:29,511
He has his PhD in physics,
271
00:11:29,513 --> 00:11:33,114
but his specialty is
quantum chromodynamics.
272
00:11:33,116 --> 00:11:35,412
Wow, that sounds interesting.
273
00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:38,153
Oh, it is. And I would
tell you more about it,
274
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:41,323
but I'm lucky I remembered
the quantum chromodynamics.
275
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:44,559
And you didn't even
have to rub his head.
276
00:11:44,561 --> 00:11:48,930
Well, it's here if the mood strikes.
277
00:11:48,932 --> 00:11:50,999
Ugh, come on, Bucky,
278
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,435
try throwing it to
someone on your own team.
279
00:11:53,437 --> 00:11:54,682
Is that the Aggie game?
280
00:11:54,685 --> 00:11:58,206
Yeah, we're down by ten.
281
00:11:58,208 --> 00:11:59,808
You like A&M?
282
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:02,331
I was raised a Cornhusker,
but when in Texas...
283
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:06,848
Huh, science and sports?
Didn't know that was a thing.
284
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:09,818
It is possible to be a
scientist and a normal guy.
285
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:13,553
May your team be victorious!
286
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:17,725
Not my experience.
287
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:25,033
I brought you some coffee.
288
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,917
You don't have to keep waiting on us.
289
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,739
I'm sorry, is there a problem?
290
00:12:32,263 --> 00:12:35,109
- I'm just frustrated.
- Is it Sheldon?
291
00:12:35,112 --> 00:12:38,975
It's Sheldon and Keith and
every other guy in our field,
292
00:12:38,978 --> 00:12:40,698
which is basically everyone.
293
00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:42,143
There were only three other women
294
00:12:42,146 --> 00:12:44,419
and one of them just
dropped out to get married.
295
00:12:44,421 --> 00:12:46,121
Oh, good for her.
296
00:12:46,123 --> 00:12:49,324
O-Or bad, bad for
science, bad for women.
297
00:12:49,326 --> 00:12:51,926
None of the guys in my
class take me seriously,
298
00:12:51,928 --> 00:12:54,162
and honestly, it doesn't
help when women like you
299
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,964
run around doing their
laundry and making them snacks.
300
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:59,167
I'm just being a good host.
301
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:01,369
Yeah, and raising another
boy to think that all women
302
00:13:01,371 --> 00:13:03,784
are just notetakers and mommies.
303
00:13:03,787 --> 00:13:07,576
I'm sorry I'm making
life so hard for you.
304
00:13:09,537 --> 00:13:11,680
And for your information,
305
00:13:11,682 --> 00:13:13,882
Sheldon does not look down on women,
306
00:13:13,884 --> 00:13:16,764
he looks down on everyone.
307
00:13:21,239 --> 00:13:22,988
Friday the Thirteenth Part VIII:
308
00:13:22,991 --> 00:13:25,358
Jason Takes Manhattan
might be the best one.
309
00:13:25,361 --> 00:13:27,176
Muppets also took Manhattan.
310
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,158
There he is again.
311
00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:32,127
Why don't you go talk to him?
312
00:13:32,129 --> 00:13:35,165
Are you crazy? Look how beautiful he is.
313
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:38,901
Sorry, the only guy I'm
calling beautiful is me.
314
00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:41,637
And maybe David Hasselhoff.
315
00:13:42,974 --> 00:13:47,348
I understand that you want to
be appreciated for what you do,
316
00:13:47,351 --> 00:13:48,691
but so do I.
317
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:51,512
This is my home and
taking care of my family
318
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:54,516
is the choice that I've
made, and I am proud to do it.
319
00:13:54,518 --> 00:13:56,151
Okay.
320
00:13:56,153 --> 00:13:59,021
It is okay.
321
00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:02,285
And I am sorry if me baking cookies
322
00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:03,859
says something bad about women,
323
00:14:03,861 --> 00:14:06,595
but if you think that Sheldon
is difficult to work with now,
324
00:14:06,598 --> 00:14:08,845
you should try him with low blood sugar,
325
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,834
he is a monster.
326
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:13,736
Someone's got to be in charge,
327
00:14:13,738 --> 00:14:16,548
but when you step up and
do it, everyone gets upset.
328
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:19,375
So your problem is a woman's mad at you
329
00:14:19,377 --> 00:14:20,837
and Sheldon thinks you're dumb?
330
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,707
- Yeah.
- Welcome to my life, friend.
331
00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:24,947
W-What do I do?
332
00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:28,117
You-you quit complaining.
333
00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:29,852
You're young, you're smart,
334
00:14:29,854 --> 00:14:31,920
you're not tied down.
335
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:34,757
This is as good as it gets.
336
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:35,791
It is?
337
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,259
Yes.
338
00:14:37,261 --> 00:14:39,495
I wish I was 20 again.
339
00:14:39,497 --> 00:14:41,964
Eating and drinking and being skinny.
340
00:14:41,966 --> 00:14:45,000
Now go back in there,
finish your project,
341
00:14:45,002 --> 00:14:46,903
and get your ass to a keg party.
342
00:14:46,906 --> 00:14:48,588
Go!
343
00:14:49,707 --> 00:14:52,308
Somehow, my parents calmed everyone down
344
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:53,809
and got us back on track.
345
00:14:53,811 --> 00:14:55,644
We listened to each other's thoughts,
346
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,980
and we worked as a team...
347
00:14:57,982 --> 00:15:00,049
for almost four whole minutes.
348
00:15:00,051 --> 00:15:01,698
All right, that doesn't make any sense.
349
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,017
Because you don't understand it.
350
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,386
It makes total sense, Keith.
351
00:15:04,388 --> 00:15:06,890
Please, just take
your underpants and go.
352
00:15:10,553 --> 00:15:12,538
Just say hi, keep it casual,
353
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:14,085
pretend like you don't care that much.
354
00:15:14,088 --> 00:15:15,731
But I care the most.
355
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:17,299
See, that's gonna freak him out.
356
00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:19,668
- How do you know?
- 'Cause it's freaking me out.
357
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,377
Now go.
358
00:15:36,466 --> 00:15:40,385
No touching! That's right, you heard me!
359
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,122
Hello?
360
00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:46,890
Hi, Connie.
361
00:15:46,892 --> 00:15:48,191
Hi, John.
362
00:15:48,193 --> 00:15:51,395
It was a nice surprise
running into you the other day.
363
00:15:51,397 --> 00:15:52,610
It was.
364
00:15:52,613 --> 00:15:54,179
Anyway, question:
365
00:15:54,182 --> 00:15:58,201
Do you think your friend June
is interested in me romantically?
366
00:15:58,203 --> 00:16:00,570
Oh, I...
367
00:16:00,572 --> 00:16:02,968
Gee, I don't know.
368
00:16:02,971 --> 00:16:05,342
I only ask because
I'm not good at knowing
369
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:07,010
what other people are feeling.
370
00:16:07,012 --> 00:16:08,078
I'm aware.
371
00:16:08,081 --> 00:16:11,068
- So could you ask her for me?
- No.
372
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,838
You're right, I should
probably do it myself.
373
00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:15,406
Can I have her number?
374
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:18,822
Well, you won over a whole bar,
375
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:21,291
maybe you could win over June, too.
376
00:16:25,898 --> 00:16:26,952
Hello?
377
00:16:26,955 --> 00:16:29,266
Hi, June. John Sturgis here.
378
00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:31,234
We met the other day.
379
00:16:31,236 --> 00:16:35,338
I'm, uh, the scientist
who won over the whole bar.
380
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:37,307
Oh, sure, I remember you.
381
00:16:37,309 --> 00:16:39,952
Good, good. Anyway,
382
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:43,382
I was wondering if you had
any romantic interest in me.
383
00:16:43,385 --> 00:16:45,582
Well, you don't beat
around the bush, do you?
384
00:16:45,584 --> 00:16:47,263
In medieval times,
385
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:50,867
hunters used to hire men to
beat the area around bushes
386
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:55,392
with sticks in order to
flush out game, so no,
387
00:16:55,394 --> 00:16:57,294
I guess I don't do that.
388
00:16:57,296 --> 00:16:59,429
John,
389
00:16:59,431 --> 00:17:01,729
you're a really sweet guy,
390
00:17:01,732 --> 00:17:03,933
but I didn't feel like
391
00:17:03,936 --> 00:17:07,204
we had that kind of connection.
392
00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:10,207
Oh. I see.
393
00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:11,508
I'm sorry.
394
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:14,511
No, that's all right. Um...
395
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:15,898
You know, the truth is,
396
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:19,082
I'm-I'm still kind of
heartbroken over Connie,
397
00:17:19,084 --> 00:17:21,451
and, uh, I was hoping if
398
00:17:21,453 --> 00:17:23,286
someone else liked me,
399
00:17:23,288 --> 00:17:26,139
it might make it hurt less.
400
00:17:26,142 --> 00:17:29,210
Well, I don't know either
one of you very well,
401
00:17:29,213 --> 00:17:31,906
but I wouldn't write
off Connie just yet.
402
00:17:31,909 --> 00:17:34,968
Why? Did she say something?
403
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,435
No, but, uh, it's just
the way she looked at you.
404
00:17:38,437 --> 00:17:40,945
See? That's what I'm terrible at.
405
00:17:40,948 --> 00:17:42,672
How do you people do it?
406
00:17:42,674 --> 00:17:45,642
Look, I know she's with Dale right now,
407
00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:47,644
but we were married for a long time.
408
00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:50,429
Trust me, he's gonna screw this up.
409
00:17:50,432 --> 00:17:54,734
Follow up question: Should I
mention any of this to Connie?
410
00:17:54,737 --> 00:17:56,632
Mm, I wouldn't.
411
00:17:56,635 --> 00:17:59,336
Excellent. Bye.
412
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:04,875
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