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ADULT SHELDON: In tenth grade,
high school students
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00:00:02,297 --> 00:00:05,082
are presented with picking
a class of their own choosing.
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00:00:05,126 --> 00:00:07,911
This is called an elective.
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00:00:07,955 --> 00:00:10,610
Courses on offer
included wood shop...
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I'm happy with ten fingers, thank you.
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Introduction to agriculture...
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I think you know
the answer to that.
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[moos] Wrestling...
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I'd rather milk that cow.
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All of which led me to the
elective I reluctantly chose...
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Psychology 101, an investigation
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into why people think and
feel the way they do. Ugh.
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MR. GIVENS: All right, with
Thanksgiving weekend approaching,
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it's the perfect opportunity to observe
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family dynamics and how
our parents, relatives
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and siblings affect us.
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Now, the...
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Yes, Sheldon.
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I don't find that interesting.
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Well, tough knuckles,
that's the assignment.
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00:00:48,843 --> 00:00:51,933
Now, you'll all be expected
to collect data on your family,
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form a hypothesis,
and make a prediction.
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So you're giving us
homework for Thanksgiving?
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Yes.
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Oh, boy!
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♪ Nobody else is
stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==
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Hey, listen, something
came up today
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that we need to talk about.
What's that?
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00:01:27,273 --> 00:01:30,145
I maybe have a shot
at a better job.
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00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:33,975
Oh, George, they're finally
gonna make you head coach?
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00:01:34,019 --> 00:01:35,237
Better than that.
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00:01:35,281 --> 00:01:37,805
Special Teams Coach,
University of Tulsa.
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In Oklahoma?
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That is where they're keeping
Tulsa these days.
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No need to be lippy.
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You're not seriously
thinking about moving
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00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:48,772
this whole family
to Oklahoma, are you?
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GEORGE SR.: It's 400 miles away,
I wasn't gonna commute.
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MARY: Well, that's not gonna work.
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The kids are all settled in
with school and friends,
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and I've got my job
at the church,
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and then there's Mom.
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Am I supposed to just
walk away from her?
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GEORGE SR.: No, what you're supposed to do
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00:02:02,786 --> 00:02:04,788
is support my efforts
to improve our life.
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Notes for psychology paper.
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What you doing?
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00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,367
Shh. Family conflict
has been observed.
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Subject M and Subject D have
opposing views on relocating.
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You better not be recording
over my Janet Jackson tape.
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Would you please?
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00:02:27,637 --> 00:02:29,465
Who's Subject M and Subject D?
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00:02:29,509 --> 00:02:32,077
I can't tell you that,
you might skew the results.
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00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,949
Okay, then tell me
what skew means.
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00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:37,038
Are you going to talk
the whole time?
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It seems to be annoying you,
so, yeah.
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00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:48,136
Mary, I just can't thank you
enough for inviting me today.
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You're very welcome, John.
Love having you here.
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Last Thanksgiving, I just sat
in my apartment all by myself
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and ate a turkey sandwich.
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That is so sad.
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00:02:58,538 --> 00:03:00,627
Well, it wasn't at the time,
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but now that I have something
to compare it to,
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00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:05,414
I realize what
a pathetic loser I was.
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00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:07,808
You were never a loser.
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Yeah, you were.
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00:03:10,115 --> 00:03:12,334
Hey, Georgie,
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00:03:12,378 --> 00:03:14,728
you have any sentimental
attachment to this town?
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I don't know, why?
I'm just curious if,
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00:03:17,209 --> 00:03:19,341
you know, we ever did
pick up and live somewhere else,
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how you'd feel about it.
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00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:23,911
Well, if it was Hawaii,
I'd feel pretty great.
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That's where they make
Magnum, P.I.
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I don't think Hawaii's
in the cards.
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00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:29,177
How about Miami?
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00:03:29,221 --> 00:03:31,092
Let me guess,
'cause of Miami Vice?
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00:03:31,136 --> 00:03:32,833
Golden Girls.
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00:03:32,876 --> 00:03:34,356
Course.
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00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,618
Car.
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00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:38,447
I saw this one
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00:03:38,491 --> 00:03:40,145
where Blanche dates
this little guy
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who breaks up with her 'cause
she's not Jewish. So good.
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Forget about Miami
and Hawaii and Blanche.
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I mean, how do you feel about
not staying in Medford forever?
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00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:52,461
Well, I guess
I'd be okay with it.
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00:03:52,505 --> 00:03:54,289
All right.
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00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:55,943
Good to know.
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00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:58,990
Subject D is attempting
to influence Subject G
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regarding relocating.
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00:04:00,252 --> 00:04:01,514
What about you, Sheldon?
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00:04:01,557 --> 00:04:04,256
What about me what?
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00:04:04,299 --> 00:04:06,301
Could you ever see yourself
leaving Medford?
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00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,175
I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm unable to express
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00:04:10,218 --> 00:04:11,872
an opinion at this time.
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00:04:11,915 --> 00:04:12,960
Why not?
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00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:14,570
In the interest of science,
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00:04:14,614 --> 00:04:16,703
I have to remain
a neutral observer.
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00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:20,141
Glad I asked.
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00:04:20,185 --> 00:04:22,883
Hey, fellows, may I join?
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00:04:22,926 --> 00:04:25,494
Sure. Here you go.
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GEORGE JR.: Dang, nice catch.
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SHELDON: Car.
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00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:37,376
Listen, I'm gonna need
your help with something.
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00:04:37,419 --> 00:04:39,204
Is it about money?
No.
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00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:41,510
Then I'm your gal.
What's up?
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00:04:41,554 --> 00:04:44,600
George is up for a coaching job
at the University of Tulsa.
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00:04:44,644 --> 00:04:47,125
Tulsa? Ugh.
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Last year, I lost $800
on that damn team.
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I'm sorry to hear that.
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00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:54,088
I'm fine with most
of the Division I stuff,
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but these independent teams,
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I j... I just can't seem
to get a handle on it.
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You think if George got that job
he might give me an inside line?
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00:05:02,357 --> 00:05:03,706
Mom.
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00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:05,230
Well, I'd cut him in,
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00:05:05,273 --> 00:05:07,014
make it look like
a Christmas present.
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Would you please listen to me?
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If we move up there,
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other than holidays,
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00:05:11,453 --> 00:05:13,281
you're not gonna
see your grandkids.
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Oh, that's a point.
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00:05:16,154 --> 00:05:19,331
You make it sound like
a Sophie's Choicekind of deal.
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During dinner,
maybe you could express
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how devastating it would be
to be away from the kids.
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Well, I don't think I'd use
the word "devastating."
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That doesn't sound like me.
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Okay, well,
use whatever word you want.
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I might use... "heartbroken."
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Good, use that.
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00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:41,918
Yeah, maybe.
Have you got a thesaurus?
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Oh, dear.
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00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,449
Don't be scared, Sheldon,
it's just a parade.
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I already don't like dogs.
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Gigantic and floating
does not help.
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00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:57,325
- Hey, how's the parade?
- MISSY: Great.
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Alf is one of the hosts.
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00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:03,244
Alf, cool. Hey, so listen,
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00:06:03,288 --> 00:06:05,768
how attached are you
to living here in Medford?
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00:06:05,812 --> 00:06:07,118
I don't know what that means.
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00:06:07,161 --> 00:06:08,597
If we moved away,
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00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:11,687
do you have really good friends
that you'd miss a lot?
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00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:13,167
I have really good friends,
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00:06:13,211 --> 00:06:14,951
but I think they would mostly miss me.
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'Cause you make friends
wherever you go.
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00:06:16,823 --> 00:06:18,868
I do.
People are drawn to me.
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00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,000
Ugh.
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00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:23,308
Sorry, I'm neutral.
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Okay, so what I'm hearing is that
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00:06:26,224 --> 00:06:28,139
you'd be happy no matter
where we lived.
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I guess. Dad, please,
I'm trying to watch TV.
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Sorry. I'll leave you to it.
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00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:41,064
Oh dear, Big Bird.
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00:06:48,885 --> 00:06:50,408
You're making a sandwich?
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00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,149
I'm a creature of habit.
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00:06:52,192 --> 00:06:53,411
[chuckles]
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Hey, why don't we all
go around the table
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00:06:55,195 --> 00:06:57,154
and say what we're thankful for?
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Come on, really?
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Yes, really.
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I'll start.
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I'm thankful to be surrounded
by my loving family.
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What about that guy?
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00:07:07,033 --> 00:07:08,818
That guy...
Dr. Sturgis...
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Is part of our extended family.
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Mm, thank you.
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00:07:12,386 --> 00:07:16,303
And I'm also thankful
for this warm and comfy home
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that God has blessed us with
and this great neighborhood
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with my mom living
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right across the street,
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and of course our excellent
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00:07:25,356 --> 00:07:27,793
school system that
provides our children
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with a world-class education.
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00:07:30,056 --> 00:07:31,971
Missy?
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00:07:32,015 --> 00:07:34,670
I'm thankful that there's two
different Ghostbustercartoons.
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That's it?
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Unless you know
about a third one.
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Okay, my turn. [Chuckles]
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Um, I am so thankful
to be able to watch
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my grandchildren grow up.
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And I can't even tell you
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how much it means to me
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00:07:48,597 --> 00:07:51,121
that y'all live right across the street.
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00:07:51,164 --> 00:07:53,123
And if y'all weren't,
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I would just be... heartbroken.
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And not just heartbroken...
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00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:04,134
Crestfallen and chagrined.
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00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:05,875
And, uh,
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00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,311
I'm also thankful for my health,
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00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,966
that that mole on my hip
turned out to be nothing,
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00:08:10,009 --> 00:08:11,445
and, uh,
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00:08:11,489 --> 00:08:13,317
I'm very thankful for John here,
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00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,014
who has
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00:08:15,058 --> 00:08:17,756
brought so much happiness to me.
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00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,236
[chuckles]
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00:08:19,279 --> 00:08:22,108
That's it for me.
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STURGIS: Oh, my.
Aw, lovely, Mom.
201
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,504
Oh, my, I don't know
where to begin.
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00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:30,769
Well, first of all,
I'm thankful to you, Connie,
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00:08:30,813 --> 00:08:35,252
for how you make me laugh,
make me feel cared for,
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00:08:35,295 --> 00:08:38,342
all the ways you're
affectionate to me
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00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:41,824
that I can't discuss
in-in front of children
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00:08:41,867 --> 00:08:44,348
because that would be
inappropriate, right?
207
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,392
Right.
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00:08:46,306 --> 00:08:48,700
And I'm thankful to be here
209
00:08:48,744 --> 00:08:51,268
with your wonderful family.
210
00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:55,402
This is something I didn't
experience growing up.
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00:08:55,446 --> 00:08:59,624
See, my father was away
a great deal on business
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00:08:59,668 --> 00:09:02,540
and it was just me and my mother
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00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:06,065
and she was a cold
and distant woman
214
00:09:06,109 --> 00:09:09,939
who blamed the world
for her club foot.
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00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:11,375
Sweetie.
And I...
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00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,593
Wrap it up.
217
00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:14,595
Sorry.
218
00:09:14,639 --> 00:09:16,815
My gratitude knows no bounds.
219
00:09:16,859 --> 00:09:19,122
Thank you.
Georgie?
220
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:22,255
Um, I'm thankful for my job
221
00:09:22,299 --> 00:09:24,040
at the auto shop.
222
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,825
Uh, let's see...
223
00:09:26,869 --> 00:09:29,219
Oh, Alyssa Milano
from Who's the Boss?
224
00:09:29,262 --> 00:09:33,397
She's really hot.
Mm... That's about it.
225
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,182
That's wonderful. Shelly?
226
00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:38,228
I'm sorry, Mom, but if
I answer that question,
227
00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:40,491
I'd be violating
my experimental protocol.
228
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:43,494
Okay, moving on. George?
229
00:09:43,537 --> 00:09:44,887
Well... [clears throat]
230
00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:46,627
I'm thankful to share
Thanksgiving dinner
231
00:09:46,671 --> 00:09:48,673
with my family, of course.
232
00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:50,849
I'm also thankful
for this fine country we live in
233
00:09:50,893 --> 00:09:53,286
and all the opportunities
it provides us.
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00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:54,984
Especially when
those opportunities
235
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,900
come once in a lifetime
and require taking a small risk
236
00:09:57,943 --> 00:10:00,293
and believing in one another.
237
00:10:00,337 --> 00:10:02,818
We're really gonna do this now?
238
00:10:02,861 --> 00:10:06,082
Hey, you started it with
all that school system crap.
239
00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:08,475
I only did that
because you've been
240
00:10:08,519 --> 00:10:10,303
trying to twist
the kids' heads around.
241
00:10:10,347 --> 00:10:12,131
All right, who talked?
242
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:14,220
Who do you think?
Missy.
243
00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:15,656
Yup.
244
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:18,311
Well, it doesn't matter
because you obviously
245
00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:20,836
went to your mother and made her
your stalking horse.
246
00:10:20,879 --> 00:10:22,272
Of course she went to me.
247
00:10:22,315 --> 00:10:25,014
Move to Oklahoma,
what's wrong with you?
248
00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,667
Wait, we're moving to Oklahoma?
249
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:29,061
I thought Texans
don't like Oklahoma.
250
00:10:29,105 --> 00:10:30,454
You're damn right we don't.
251
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,369
What's wrong with Oklahoma?
I'll tell you later.
252
00:10:32,412 --> 00:10:34,806
Okay, that's enough of this.
Nobody's moving anywhere.
253
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:37,374
Let's just have
a nice, quiet dinner.
254
00:10:37,417 --> 00:10:40,856
That's it? Y-You're gonna
make the decision for me?
255
00:10:40,899 --> 00:10:42,466
I'm making a decision for us.
256
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,468
All right, then.
257
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,817
Where are you going?
258
00:10:45,861 --> 00:10:47,210
George.
259
00:10:47,253 --> 00:10:48,472
George!
260
00:10:57,002 --> 00:10:58,961
ADULT SHELDON: As we sat in silence,
261
00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:01,180
I had a horrible realization.
262
00:11:01,224 --> 00:11:03,095
For the first time in my life,
263
00:11:03,139 --> 00:11:06,533
I didn't look forward
to doing my homework.
264
00:11:06,577 --> 00:11:08,579
[sobbing]
265
00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:16,587
[television announcer speaking indistinctly]
266
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:18,328
Just watch the TV.
267
00:11:18,371 --> 00:11:20,373
[television volume increases]
268
00:11:22,419 --> 00:11:24,464
ANNOUNCER: Second down, nine...
269
00:11:24,508 --> 00:11:26,510
[birds twittering]
270
00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:36,085
Difficult day.
271
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,477
Yes.
272
00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:41,351
Psychology?
Is that a new interest of yours?
273
00:11:41,394 --> 00:11:44,354
It was either this or milking cows.
Oh.
274
00:11:44,397 --> 00:11:47,487
I once was licked by a cow.
275
00:11:47,531 --> 00:11:48,924
You made the right choice.
276
00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:50,403
I'm not so sure.
277
00:11:50,447 --> 00:11:52,014
Why is that?
278
00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:55,365
Well, I was supposed
to observe family dynamics
279
00:11:55,408 --> 00:11:57,846
over Thanksgiving for my hypothesis,
280
00:11:57,889 --> 00:11:58,890
then make a prediction.
281
00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:01,937
Oh. All right.
282
00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:04,374
So, um, what did you observe?
283
00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:07,507
My mom and dad arguing
over moving to Oklahoma
284
00:12:07,551 --> 00:12:08,682
for my dad's job.
285
00:12:08,726 --> 00:12:11,468
I would concur with
that observation.
286
00:12:11,511 --> 00:12:15,298
Now, can you form a
hypothesis based on that?
287
00:12:15,341 --> 00:12:19,215
Well, their marriage
is a zero sum game.
288
00:12:19,258 --> 00:12:20,564
What's good for my father
289
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,479
isn't good for my mother
and vice versa.
290
00:12:22,522 --> 00:12:23,480
Excellent.
291
00:12:23,523 --> 00:12:25,134
And your prediction?
292
00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:27,397
Well, based on
previous arguments
293
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,442
I've observed,
my father will try
294
00:12:29,486 --> 00:12:31,053
to reassert his dominance
295
00:12:31,096 --> 00:12:33,490
by making a meaningless
symbolic gesture.
296
00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:36,362
Really? That seems
a bit of a stretch.
297
00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:38,625
[car horn honks]
298
00:12:38,669 --> 00:12:40,627
["Take It On the Run" by REO
Speedwagon playing on car radio]
299
00:12:40,671 --> 00:12:42,412
♪ You take it on the run, baby ♪
300
00:12:42,455 --> 00:12:46,546
♪ If that's the way you want it, baby ♪
301
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:49,549
♪ Then I don't want you around... ♪
302
00:12:49,593 --> 00:12:53,379
I will never question you again.
303
00:12:53,423 --> 00:12:56,469
♪ I don't believe it... ♪
304
00:12:56,513 --> 00:12:58,428
[exhales sharply]
305
00:12:58,471 --> 00:12:59,908
MARY: Are you insane?
306
00:12:59,951 --> 00:13:01,648
We can't afford a Ferrari.
307
00:13:01,692 --> 00:13:03,215
GEORGE SR.: It's a Fiero.
308
00:13:03,259 --> 00:13:04,695
MARY: Ferrari, Fiero, same thing.
309
00:13:04,738 --> 00:13:06,262
GEORGE SR.: Not really.
310
00:13:06,305 --> 00:13:08,090
Now, do you mind?
I'm trying to watch the game.
311
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:09,439
Everybody's going to Meemaw's.
Come on.
312
00:13:09,482 --> 00:13:10,831
MARY: Leave that tin can...
313
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,050
It's not like we haven't
314
00:13:12,094 --> 00:13:13,965
heard them fight before. Just keep moving.
315
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:17,012
Are we sleeping there?
Do I need to bring pajamas?
316
00:13:17,055 --> 00:13:18,622
Just sleep in your underwear.
317
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,058
In my underwear?
318
00:13:20,102 --> 00:13:21,451
I hardly think so.
319
00:13:21,494 --> 00:13:23,453
Wait, I forgot something.
320
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:24,584
MARY: Just so you know, you're
sleeping out here tonight.
321
00:13:24,628 --> 00:13:26,978
Perfect, then I won't
have to move.
322
00:13:27,022 --> 00:13:30,242
I just want to thank you
for a lovely dinner.
323
00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:34,116
["Crazy About Oklahoma"
by Jimmy Reed playing]
324
00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:39,382
♪ I'm crazy about Oklahoma,
baby ♪
325
00:13:39,425 --> 00:13:43,647
♪ Texas so doggone big,
oh yes it is... ♪
326
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,867
[engine roars]
327
00:13:46,911 --> 00:13:50,871
♪ Honey, I'm crazy
about Oklahoma ♪
328
00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:52,699
♪ You know Texas
so doggone big... ♪
329
00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:54,658
[engine sputters, blows]
330
00:13:57,530 --> 00:14:01,578
♪ Oklahoma got all the oil ♪
331
00:14:01,621 --> 00:14:03,580
[honks horn]
332
00:14:03,623 --> 00:14:05,886
- ♪ Texas got the money... ♪
- Come on!
333
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:08,498
Good.
334
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:09,890
GEORGE SR: Come on!
335
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,618
You kids excited to go back to school?
336
00:14:18,662 --> 00:14:19,967
Of course I am.
337
00:14:20,011 --> 00:14:21,447
He doesn't speak for me.
338
00:14:22,883 --> 00:14:24,015
What are you doing?
339
00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:25,059
Having coffee.
340
00:14:25,103 --> 00:14:26,931
Uh, no, not in my house.
341
00:14:26,974 --> 00:14:28,976
Oh, come on,
the best part of waking up
342
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:29,890
is Folgers in your cup.
343
00:14:29,934 --> 00:14:31,370
Put it down.
344
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:34,112
I can't drink coffee,
345
00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:36,418
I can't chew tobacco,
is there anything I can do?
346
00:14:36,462 --> 00:14:37,942
Yeah, quit talking.
347
00:14:37,985 --> 00:14:39,552
Where's Dad?
348
00:14:39,596 --> 00:14:42,337
He went to Oklahoma
for that job interview.
349
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,165
I thought you put your
foot down on that one.
350
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:46,124
Just keep eating your breakfast.
351
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,995
You really think
we might move there?
352
00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:49,954
[sighs]
353
00:14:49,997 --> 00:14:52,783
I don't know what to think.
354
00:14:56,308 --> 00:14:57,831
TAM: Spending
the Thanksgiving weekend
355
00:14:57,875 --> 00:14:59,616
working in my family's
convenience store,
356
00:14:59,659 --> 00:15:02,096
I observed my father
and mother working
357
00:15:02,140 --> 00:15:04,751
from 6:00 in the morning
till 10:00 at night.
358
00:15:04,795 --> 00:15:07,232
My hypothesis was that
economic advancement
359
00:15:07,275 --> 00:15:10,322
for immigrant families is more
important than celebrating
360
00:15:10,365 --> 00:15:12,542
a holiday where people eat
until they pass out
361
00:15:12,585 --> 00:15:14,369
in front of the TV.
362
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,806
All right, Tam.
363
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:18,243
Well, based on your
observations and hypothesis,
364
00:15:18,286 --> 00:15:19,984
were you able to
make a prediction?
365
00:15:20,027 --> 00:15:23,291
Yes. At some point,
my father would die
366
00:15:23,335 --> 00:15:25,119
prematurely from stress.
367
00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:26,947
And my mother
will come live with me,
368
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:28,514
where she will
constantly disapprove
369
00:15:28,558 --> 00:15:32,344
of my hot, blonde,
American wife.
370
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:38,742
Okay. Uh, I think we all
learned something there.
371
00:15:38,785 --> 00:15:40,004
Uh, thank you, Tam.
372
00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:41,962
Uh, Mr. Cooper,
you're up.
373
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,577
[clears throat]
374
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:50,667
Beginning on Wednesday night,
I observed my parents
375
00:15:50,710 --> 00:15:54,322
arguing over the possibility
of us moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
376
00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:56,760
Ugh, Oklahoma.
377
00:15:56,803 --> 00:15:59,066
The argument escalated
and then my father stormed out
378
00:15:59,110 --> 00:16:02,722
and bought a Fiero.
379
00:16:02,766 --> 00:16:04,376
[voice breaking]:
And then I went to my Meemaw's
380
00:16:04,419 --> 00:16:06,160
and slept in my underwear!
381
00:16:06,204 --> 00:16:08,423
[sobbing]
382
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,599
[door opens]
383
00:16:09,642 --> 00:16:13,037
That's it; I've wasted my life.
384
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,692
[music plays quietly on radio]
385
00:16:15,735 --> 00:16:19,130
You want to tell
me what happened?
386
00:16:19,173 --> 00:16:21,088
Instead of remaining
a neutral observer,
387
00:16:21,132 --> 00:16:24,004
I got emotional in front
of the whole class.
388
00:16:24,048 --> 00:16:25,092
Well, that's not a big deal.
389
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:27,486
Yes, it is; I'm a scientist.
390
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:30,010
You never hear about Newton
crying like a baby
391
00:16:30,054 --> 00:16:32,099
when he got brutalized
by an apple.
392
00:16:32,143 --> 00:16:34,188
I think you're being
a little tough on yourself.
393
00:16:34,232 --> 00:16:38,062
I wonder why this
is affecting me so much.
394
00:16:38,105 --> 00:16:41,500
Well, maybe it has something
to do with your parents arguing.
395
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:44,155
Us moving?
I don't think so.
396
00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:46,723
Texas, Oklahoma...
what's the difference?
397
00:16:46,766 --> 00:16:49,247
Hey, now, I think you
might want to crack open
398
00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:53,207
your psychology textbook
'cause that there is crazy talk.
399
00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:56,863
I did read a chapter
on repressing emotions.
400
00:16:56,907 --> 00:16:59,605
I suppose I could've been
doing that to avoid dealing
401
00:16:59,649 --> 00:17:01,259
with the fear of change,
402
00:17:01,302 --> 00:17:04,175
and moving would certainly
be a big change.
403
00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:06,699
That's very astute. I'd have a new room,
404
00:17:06,743 --> 00:17:08,658
in a new house,
405
00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:11,225
and the new house would probably
have a different smell,
406
00:17:11,269 --> 00:17:13,053
and I probably
wouldn't like that smell
407
00:17:13,097 --> 00:17:14,838
because I don't like new smells,
408
00:17:14,881 --> 00:17:18,015
and I'd be going to a new school
with new kids and new teachers,
409
00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:19,756
and I bet they'd all
smell different, as well.
410
00:17:19,799 --> 00:17:21,105
Okay, now calm down.
411
00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,541
That's easy for you to say.
412
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,152
Your olfactory senses
aren't about to be assaulted
413
00:17:25,196 --> 00:17:26,588
by the state of Oklahoma.
414
00:17:26,632 --> 00:17:28,678
Okay, let's try
a different approach.
415
00:17:28,721 --> 00:17:31,289
Can I take you
to get some ice cream?
416
00:17:31,332 --> 00:17:34,118
I'm having an emotional
crisis, Meemaw!
417
00:17:34,161 --> 00:17:36,120
You can't fix that
with ice cream.
418
00:17:36,163 --> 00:17:38,731
Right. Sorry.
419
00:17:41,386 --> 00:17:43,127
You want to go to Radio Shack?
420
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:45,782
Yes, I want to go to Radio Shack!
421
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:53,311
Well, sir, that's the tour.
422
00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:56,357
What do you think,
nicer than East Texas?
423
00:17:56,401 --> 00:17:58,185
[chuckles] Very impressive.
424
00:17:58,229 --> 00:17:59,796
Not sure how you did it,
425
00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:02,537
but that is the least disgusting
locker room I've ever been in.
426
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:03,625
Yes, sir.
427
00:18:03,669 --> 00:18:05,366
Every bit of it's brand, spanking new.
428
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:08,021
I bet if you had to, you could
even eat lunch in there.
429
00:18:08,065 --> 00:18:11,111
[laughs] So what
do you say, George?
430
00:18:11,155 --> 00:18:13,200
I could sure use a man
with your track record
431
00:18:13,244 --> 00:18:15,812
to coach special teams. Please.
432
00:18:15,855 --> 00:18:19,859
Thank you.
I got to say, I'm real tempted.
433
00:18:19,903 --> 00:18:21,948
How does the family feel
about relocating?
434
00:18:21,992 --> 00:18:25,996
Oh, they're all pretty excited
about the opportunity.
435
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,738
The kids see it as an adventure.
436
00:18:28,781 --> 00:18:33,090
So why am I feeling like
you got some hesitation?
437
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,352
If it's about the money,
438
00:18:34,395 --> 00:18:36,180
I believe I can get you
some more money.
439
00:18:36,223 --> 00:18:39,052
No, no, no, the money's good.
440
00:18:39,096 --> 00:18:41,228
Well, that's it, then.
You're gonna fit in perfectly
441
00:18:41,272 --> 00:18:42,621
with our program here.
442
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,623
We got a lovely little house
for you and your family,
443
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:45,929
and best of all,
444
00:18:45,972 --> 00:18:48,235
you're gonna be out of Texas.
[laughs]
445
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,585
I thought you started out
in Houston?
446
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,285
Shh. I'm trying
to fit in around here.
447
00:18:54,328 --> 00:18:57,331
[both laugh]
448
00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:59,246
So we have a deal?
449
00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:02,728
[sighs]
450
00:19:24,924 --> 00:19:26,273
What happened?
451
00:19:29,146 --> 00:19:31,104
Can I take my coat off?
452
00:19:31,148 --> 00:19:32,453
No. What happened?
453
00:19:32,497 --> 00:19:35,500
[sighs] I turned it down.
454
00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:36,588
Why?
455
00:19:36,631 --> 00:19:38,764
'Cause you're afraid of Mom?
456
00:19:38,808 --> 00:19:41,245
'Cause I don't want to live
in Oklahoma.
457
00:19:41,288 --> 00:19:42,333
George.
458
00:19:42,376 --> 00:19:44,422
What difference
does it make, Mare?
459
00:19:44,465 --> 00:19:45,423
We're not moving.
460
00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:50,471
ADULT SHELDON: As a child,
I never understood
461
00:19:50,515 --> 00:19:53,823
the sacrifices my father made
for his family's happiness,
462
00:19:53,866 --> 00:19:56,086
which made me somewhat
less compassionate
463
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,130
than I should've been.
464
00:19:57,174 --> 00:19:58,828
SHELDON: Yay! We're not moving!
465
00:19:58,871 --> 00:20:00,568
MISSY: We're staying in Texas!
466
00:20:00,612 --> 00:20:02,614
[all cheering, laughing]
467
00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:12,180
- MEEMAW: John?
- STURGIS: Yes?
468
00:20:12,223 --> 00:20:16,636
Could we do it just one more time?
469
00:20:16,637 --> 00:20:19,807
Really?
I don't want you to get tired of it.
470
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:24,551
I won't. Please?
471
00:20:24,594 --> 00:20:27,162
Well, I can't say no to you.
472
00:20:27,206 --> 00:20:29,425
[both chuckle]
473
00:20:29,469 --> 00:20:32,211
Fire in the hole.
474
00:20:33,212 --> 00:20:36,432
[laughs] Unbelievable.
475
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:40,697
Again, again.