1 00:00:01,270 --> 00:00:04,050 A few times a year, there was a dedicated day 2 00:00:04,060 --> 00:00:06,059 where my school was closed. 3 00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:08,189 This allowed the teachers to catch up 4 00:00:08,190 --> 00:00:09,929 on their administrative duties. 5 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:12,759 While I was normally against a break from learning, 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,759 I did applaud the Medford faculty's commitment 7 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,680 - to our education. - Oh, man. 8 00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:20,880 - How great is this place without kids in it? - I heard that. 9 00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:23,509 On one of those days, I got to spend time 10 00:00:23,510 --> 00:00:24,989 with my mom at her job. 11 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:26,120 Did you write that? 12 00:00:26,170 --> 00:00:28,349 - You betcha. - Instead of puns, 13 00:00:28,350 --> 00:00:31,170 have you considered composing a humorous palindrome? 14 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:34,309 It's a phrase that reads the same backwards as forwards. 15 00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:37,010 For example, "Do geese see God?" 16 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,310 Trust me. Both ways. 17 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,619 Come inside. 18 00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:46,059 Some other good ones are radar, level, kayak. 19 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,059 That's a funny word. Kayak. 20 00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:49,759 Never get me in one. 21 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,239 So what's the plan? 22 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,839 How will I be entertained all day? 23 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,890 I thought you could be my little helper. 24 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,939 I prefer executive assistant. Carries more weight. 25 00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:02,140 Fine. You stay here, I'm gonna go talk to Pastor Jeff. 26 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,459 Mom. 27 00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:04,639 What? 28 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,470 "Mom" is also a palindrome. M-O-M. 29 00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,139 Good morning, Peg. 30 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:16,299 Any morning you wake up is a good morning. 31 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,169 Okay. 32 00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,609 Come in. 33 00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:24,219 Good morn... oh, it's dark in here. 34 00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:25,789 Uh-huh. 35 00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:27,830 Everything okay? 36 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,879 Mm-hmm. 37 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,670 I need you to use your words. 38 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:36,709 My marriage is over. 39 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,149 Mm-hmm... 40 00:01:55,420 --> 00:02:01,240 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 41 00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:03,649 We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. 42 00:02:03,650 --> 00:02:07,179 In the '50s, people had separate beds. 43 00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:10,050 Lucy and Ricky did it. Their marriage worked. 44 00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:14,489 I-I'm sure it's just a rough patch. 45 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,839 Boy, I hope so. 46 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,459 Well, if there's any way I can make your life easier, 47 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:20,929 you let me know. 48 00:02:20,930 --> 00:02:23,760 Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate it. 49 00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:29,469 Oh, I almost forgot, um, Sheldon's here with me today. 50 00:02:29,470 --> 00:02:31,430 Great. 51 00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:48,879 Hey, little man. How you doing? 52 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,919 You smell like cigarettes. 53 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,659 You're fun. 54 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,489 Do you know what this binder is? 55 00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:58,460 It's a record of donations people make to the church. 56 00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:00,359 This data could easily be transferred 57 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,969 into a computerized spreadsheet. 58 00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:03,149 Why isn't it? 59 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,360 No idea. 60 00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:07,540 You also smell like mothballs and Ben-Gay. 61 00:03:09,150 --> 00:03:10,980 Bye. 62 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,159 I hope you don't mind, I invited Pastor Jeff for dinner. 63 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,249 That's fine. 64 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,680 I was talking to your father. 65 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:20,989 What's the occasion? 66 00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:24,039 No occasion, just thought it'd be nice. 67 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,429 His wife coming, too? 68 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:27,470 No. Just him. 69 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,649 They having problems? 70 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,699 He's just coming to dinner. That's all. 71 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:32,349 You two having problems? 72 00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:33,399 Are we? 73 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,439 No. 74 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:35,659 Pastor Jeff's wife 75 00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:37,269 is so much prettier than him. 76 00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:39,399 It's like Barbie married a turtle. 77 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,920 Hey. Here's a fun idea: 78 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,660 how about you and Sheldon have dinner 79 00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:45,880 - at Meemaw's tonight? - All right. 80 00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:48,120 They are a weird-looking couple. 81 00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:49,799 You want to eat at my mom's, too? 82 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,760 Oh, come on. You got eyes. 83 00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:58,629 Pastor, would you like to lead us in grace? 84 00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:01,200 I'd be honored. 85 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:04,340 Heavenly Father, thank you for this food. 86 00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:07,250 I pray that it nourishes and strengthens us, 87 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,730 and bless Mary for preparing it. 88 00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:11,869 And thank you for the Coopers 89 00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:16,309 who have invited me into their loving home. 90 00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:19,309 They are a shining example 91 00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:22,389 of what a marriage can be. 92 00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:27,319 One that I hope to have again someday. 93 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,969 - Amen. - And please give me the strength... 94 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,059 Sorry. 95 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,320 The strength to walk this road 96 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:38,029 with unconditional love and joy in my heart. 97 00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:39,160 Amen. 98 00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:40,459 - Amen. - Amen. 99 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,420 Well, let's eat! 100 00:04:46,730 --> 00:04:49,660 - Cheers. - Cheers. 101 00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,599 - Cheers. - Cheers. 102 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,519 Dang, this place is nice. 103 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,349 That's because it was supposed to be a date. 104 00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:58,909 Cool. My first date. 105 00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:01,119 Meemaw, I've been going through the church records, 106 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,039 and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time. 107 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,319 Why are you going through the records? 108 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,320 I'm an executive assistant. 109 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,879 - Good for you. - You see, 110 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,810 God and I have a deal. And when he helps me win big 111 00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:14,939 at the casino, I give him a cut. 112 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,669 And lately, he has not been holding up 113 00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:18,459 his part of the bargain. 114 00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:21,969 "Steak aw poyver with fritties"? 115 00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:23,709 - It's French. - Oh. 116 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,289 What's a crock monster? 117 00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,989 It's croque monsieur, 118 00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:30,859 and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham. 119 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:32,599 I want that. 120 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,650 There's lemon in this water. 121 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,959 So, uh, who do you think the Oilers 122 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,569 are gonna take in the draft? 123 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,970 Oh, I don't really follow sports. 124 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:53,579 I'm just gonna eat. 125 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,840 What's he doing here? Y'all getting a divorce? 126 00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:02,800 No. No, he's just here for dinner. 127 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:06,150 Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness. 128 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,489 I thought you were hanging out with Veronica tonight. 129 00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,019 We were supposed to, but then she invited a bunch 130 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,669 of her choir friends over, 131 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,989 and it turned into a stupid Bible study. 132 00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:18,059 - No offense. - None taken. 133 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:19,369 - Hmm. - Honestly, 134 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:21,369 I do not understand the female mind. 135 00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,909 Do something. 136 00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,829 Georgie, why don't you go eat dinner in front of the TV? 137 00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:28,659 No, it's all right. Sounds like Georgie's having trouble 138 00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,389 navigating the perilous waters 139 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,179 of a relationship. 140 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:34,359 Believe me, I can understand. 141 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,840 You having problems with your hot wife? 142 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:41,670 Maybe I'll go eat by the TV. 143 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:47,869 I'm liking my crock monster. 144 00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:49,389 Mmm. Me, too. 145 00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:51,849 I can't taste anything after the lemon water. 146 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:54,109 I'm glad y'all are having a good time. 147 00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:55,169 You're welcome. 148 00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:56,639 Where we having dinner tomorrow? 149 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,090 Nowhere. 150 00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:01,510 Dr. Sturgis and I are going to Louisiana, do a little gambling. 151 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,819 So a donation could be forth coming? 152 00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:05,210 Don't jinx me. 153 00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:08,339 It's my first time going to a casino. 154 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:11,839 It's amazing. There's bright lights and bells and buzzers 155 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,000 and people yelling. 156 00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:14,700 Ugh. 157 00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:19,559 Veronica says I'm the nicest guy she knows. 158 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,800 She also says she only wants to date nice guys. 159 00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,169 - Does that mean she wants to date me? - I bet she doesn't. 160 00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:26,390 No, she does not. Doesn't make any sense. 161 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,519 Nothing they do makes any sense. 162 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,439 - I know... - At least he's not crying anymore. 163 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,380 Devil's got something to do with it. 164 00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:43,059 Mary, George, I can't thank you enough for this. 165 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:44,570 It was our pleasure. 166 00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:47,640 So, Pastor, are you gonna try 167 00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,689 and talk things out with Selena? 168 00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:51,949 Well, we're really not on speaking terms, 169 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:55,099 so I'll just be heading back to my office, sleep on the couch. 170 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,929 That's ridiculous. He can stay with us, can't he? 171 00:07:57,930 --> 00:08:00,979 Uh, I guess that'd be okay. 172 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,309 - Of course it would. - Oh. 173 00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:05,199 I couldn't possibly impose. 174 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,330 Sure you could. 175 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:09,029 In fact, you can take my room. 176 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:12,209 Well, y'all are too kind. 177 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,819 - Hello. - Oh. 178 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,339 Did y'all have a good time? 179 00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:17,570 - Yes. - It was great. 180 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,180 Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is gonna be spending the night. 181 00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:22,099 If the kids could sleep at your place? 182 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,920 No. Bye. 183 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,330 George. 184 00:08:36,340 --> 00:08:38,420 What? What's wrong? 185 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,779 The pastor's up making tea. 186 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,950 What, you want me to blow on it? 187 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,779 Go talk to him. 188 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,170 About what? 189 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:47,869 I don't know. 190 00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:49,919 Maybe you could give him a male perspective 191 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,169 on relationship issues. 192 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,039 How about this? 193 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,650 What if I close my eyes and pray on it? 194 00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:00,259 Hey. 195 00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:03,049 Oh, hi. I hope I didn't wake you. 196 00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:06,830 Uh, no, no. Just... get-getting some water. 197 00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:11,490 Can I fix you some chamomile? 198 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:14,060 No, thanks. 199 00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:19,440 So... 200 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:24,139 Tough times, huh? 201 00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,430 Yeah. 202 00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:27,070 Yeah. 203 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,039 Hey, uh, does the Bible say anything 204 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,129 about heartache and such? 205 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:47,740 Psalm 147, verse three: "The Lord healeth 206 00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:50,399 the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." 207 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,639 Well, there you go-eth. 208 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,969 Except I'm feeling kicked in the nethers right now, 209 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,750 and he sure is taking his sweet time with the healing. 210 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,720 He takes his sweet time about a lot of things. 211 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:03,570 Uh, not that I'm complaining. 212 00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:06,530 You know, his will, not mine, et cetera. 213 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,729 You know, one thing I can say is that 214 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:19,689 having a happy marriage is... it's hard work. 215 00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:22,340 Oh, I know. As the pastor, people come to me 216 00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,489 with relationship problems all the time. 217 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,219 Bet you hear some juicy ones, huh? 218 00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,219 "Juicy" doesn't begin to describe it. 219 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:32,069 - Oh... give me a sample. - I can't. 220 00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:35,639 There's strict pastor-flock confidentiality. 221 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,319 Sure. Sure. 222 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,360 Mm. 223 00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:43,889 Mary doesn't tell you things about us, does she? 224 00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:46,759 I'm... not at liberty to say. 225 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,979 But she does, doesn't she? 226 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,510 - Yeah. - Yeah. 227 00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:01,169 These people clearly don't know what ten percent means. 228 00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:02,689 What are you talking about? 229 00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,779 This is the list of all the people who belong 230 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:06,820 to the church and how much money they donate. 231 00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:09,519 Dorothy and Fred Nelson gave a dollar last week. 232 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,179 - So? - They own the Piggly Wiggly. 233 00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:13,829 They can afford to give much more. 234 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,139 Weird. 235 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:18,010 You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry. 236 00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:21,839 Really? 237 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,539 You're drinking in the morning now? 238 00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,429 What? Oh, look at that. 239 00:11:26,430 --> 00:11:28,019 Felt later. 240 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,179 Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home? 241 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,719 He hasn't come out of Georgie's room. 242 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,199 Maybe he found Georgie's magazines. 243 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,639 He's a man of God. 244 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,680 You're adorable. 245 00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,919 I have stories. Come back here. 246 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,299 - It's my favorite table. - Oh, hey, Connie. 247 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,909 Hi, Felicia. 248 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,350 Chip me for a deuce. 249 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,870 How's your daughter doing? 250 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,179 Oh, surgery went great. 251 00:11:58,180 --> 00:11:59,220 Thanks for asking. 252 00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:01,040 Her daughter got kicked by a horse. 253 00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:03,969 - They had to pin a couple of bones together. - Oh, my. 254 00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:05,749 She won't be stealing any more horses 255 00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,059 for a little while. 256 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,059 - Your usual, Connie? - Yeah. 257 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,059 John, you want something? 258 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:13,060 I would like a Fresca, please. 259 00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,749 - Got it, hon. - Connie. 260 00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:17,320 Duke-North Carolina's about to start. Want a piece? 261 00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:20,110 Yeah, baby. Give me the points on Duke for a nickel. 262 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,899 - All right. - A nickel. 263 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,289 That's a silly bet. 264 00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:24,810 It's 50 bucks. 265 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,429 A thousand nickels. Less silly. 266 00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:29,960 I must say, uh... 267 00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:33,299 this is a side of you I've never... seen before. 268 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,909 You're all right with it, aren't you? 269 00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:36,170 Oh, sure. 270 00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,260 When are you gonna give that man your $50? 271 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:41,439 Don't worry about it. Hit me. 272 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,139 I'm a little worried. 273 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:49,189 Pastor Jeff? 274 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:51,279 Everything all right in there? 275 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,969 Oh, yeah. 276 00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:55,200 I've just been praying, napping, crying. 277 00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:56,719 I like to mix it up. 278 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,800 Well, how's it going? 279 00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,680 Good, actually. 280 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:04,060 I have this feeling inside that I should head home. 281 00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:08,719 Well, then you got to honor that feeling, that's God. 282 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,199 You're right. You want to come with? 283 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,249 Do you really want me there 284 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,339 while you patch things up with your wife? 285 00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:18,299 She's less likely to throw any steak knives if we have company. 286 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:22,810 Um... if you think it'll help, I suppose... 287 00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:24,080 Great, let's hit it. 288 00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:27,259 Oh... 289 00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:30,179 Hello, is this the Nelson residence? 290 00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,049 Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper, 291 00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:33,659 the executive assistant secretary 292 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,700 at the First Baptist Church of Medford. 293 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:37,659 I'm looking through our donation records, 294 00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,620 and I've noticed that you've tapered off a bit. 295 00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:44,230 Well, yes, your children's education is expensive, 296 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,849 but so is running a church. 297 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,629 Oh, boy! 298 00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:50,010 I'll be sure to tell the pastor. Goodbye. 299 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:57,249 That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo. 300 00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,599 Okay. Who's next? 301 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,079 Wendy and Bill Mackenzie. 302 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,860 Of Mackenzie Chevrolet? 303 00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:06,600 Now those are what we call "deep pockets." 304 00:14:06,610 --> 00:14:10,829 Pat here, double the ten, and split the aces. 305 00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,089 Connie... 306 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:15,179 I found an old-fashioned malt shop where we can 307 00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:18,279 have milkshakes and listen to the jukebox, 308 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,050 like I never did in high school. 309 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,020 Yeah, great. Not now, John. 310 00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:24,969 Okay, well, I was just hoping we could do something together. 311 00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:28,449 For God's sake, John. I'm getting my ass kicked here! 312 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,980 I'm sorry. 313 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,809 Oh, Felicia, you're killing me. 314 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,640 Chip me another deuce. 315 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,690 Hello? 316 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,050 Selena? 317 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,780 Ooh. Big TV, fancy. 318 00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:10,319 "Con amor, Selena." 319 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,889 Which means? 320 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:16,149 "Life is too short to be married to a loser. 321 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,289 I'm leaving you. 322 00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,329 Love, Selena." 323 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,189 "Love, Selena"? 324 00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:24,409 Well, that's kind of a mixed message. 325 00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:25,980 Yeah. 326 00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:33,309 Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. 327 00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,570 But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up 328 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,790 for a thousand dollars. 329 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,799 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 330 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,570 Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. 331 00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,440 And of course, I don't need to remind you, 332 00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:48,450 it's entirely tax deductible. 333 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,920 And at the next pancake breakfast, 334 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,710 you can hold your head high. 335 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,929 Thank you. That's very generous. 336 00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:01,060 Goodbye. 337 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,109 The pancake line closed it. 338 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,629 We are so going to heaven. 339 00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:09,979 I don't understand why God would tell me to go home 340 00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:11,739 just to find out my wife left me. 341 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:14,119 Not that he needs me to defend him, 342 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,209 but in God's defense, he didn't say she'd be there. 343 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,939 Mary, I hate to say this, but I think it's time 344 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,129 for me to move on. 345 00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:24,340 I thought even as a teenager, I'd been called 346 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,839 to preach the word of God, but maybe that was just my ego. 347 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,870 Maybe I'm not meant to do this. 348 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,239 Don't say that. You're a great preacher. 349 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,839 Thank you. But it's clear. I need to trod a new path. 350 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:40,179 Well, what would you do? Trodding wise. 351 00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:41,479 I don't know. 352 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,759 Maybe work with my hands amongst men, on an oil rig, 353 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,060 or a fishing trawler. 354 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,889 I also know how to blow glass. 355 00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:52,329 I could turn a pretty penny at swap meets. 356 00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:56,529 - Those all sound like solid options. - Mm-hmm. 357 00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,789 Oh, red light, red light! 358 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,919 Oh, phooey. 359 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,269 Tell you what, Jody. 360 00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:17,009 Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, 361 00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:19,070 and see how much is in his wallet? 362 00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:23,339 Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God. 363 00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:24,549 What are y'all up to? 364 00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,929 Just helping Mom with some church work. 365 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,759 Well, aren't you two great kids. 366 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,629 We like to think so. 367 00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,670 Really? That much? 368 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,899 I think I need to apologize. 369 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,779 - I know you do. - I'm very sorry. 370 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,620 Sometimes when things aren't going my way, 371 00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:56,029 I just get a little cranky. 372 00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:59,209 - May I ask you a personal question? - Sure. 373 00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:02,520 Does your gambling constitute a problem? 374 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,649 Not today. Bam! 375 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:09,800 Come on. Let me take you out to dinner. 376 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,960 Don't forget that you promised Sheldon 377 00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:16,359 if you won, you'd donate to the church. 378 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,149 You want to see me get cranky again? 379 00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:19,159 No, I don't. 380 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,579 Well, let's go strap on some bibs and eat lobster. 381 00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,059 Whoa! 382 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,840 So you're over at First Baptist Church, huh? 383 00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:26,979 Yes, Officer. 384 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,459 I'm new in this area. 385 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:29,939 I've been looking for a church. 386 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:33,359 Well, you're in luck. It's a wonderful congregation, 387 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,150 and this man right here is our beloved pastor. 388 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,769 Oh. Are you his wife? 389 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,949 Oh, no, I'm church secretary. He's actually single. 390 00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:45,430 - Well, technically... - He's single. 391 00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:49,099 Well, I'll try to come by sometime. 392 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,259 Tomorrow's Sunday. He'll be speaking. 393 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:54,120 All right. Maybe I'll see y'all tomorrow. 394 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:58,789 You have a nice day. 395 00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:00,630 Aren't you gonna give me a ticket? 396 00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:03,319 Do you wanta ticket? 397 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,059 He does not. Thank you, Officer. 398 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:12,800 - Pastor? - Yeah? 399 00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,459 You were saying you don't understand 400 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:17,639 why God told you to go home. You get it now? 401 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,290 Think I do. 402 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,099 Welcome, church. 403 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,559 I pray you all had a blessed and prosperous week. 404 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,539 I'm excited to share with you 405 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,829 what the Lord put on my heart for today. 406 00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:38,789 I'm surprised you're here this morning. 407 00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:41,789 Hey. I got to support my pal. 408 00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:44,229 The renewal of faith is something that happens 409 00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,059 over and over. 410 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,889 - When you have faith... - You need to move fast, Officer. 411 00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:51,979 He's not gonna be on the market for long. 412 00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:54,579 - Roger that. - For so many months, 413 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:56,970 our little parish has been struggling financially. 414 00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:59,409 But by the grace of God and his provision, 415 00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:04,000 we have received the most donations in church history! 416 00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:05,439 Praise Jesus! 417 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,579 Praise Jesus! 418 00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:11,670 So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit? 419 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,500 - We need to start our own church. - They don't pay taxes. 420 00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,249 It's a very sound business model. 421 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,380 Say amen when you get there, huh? 422 00:20:19,390 --> 00:20:25,480 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --