1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,080 Let's go. Let's go. 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,460 We're gonna be late! 3 00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:08,330 ADULT SHELDON: Fun fact-- the first time 4 00:00:08,330 --> 00:00:10,210 I almost died was at the age of nine. 5 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,580 The murder weapon? 6 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:13,620 A Jimmy Dean sausage. 7 00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:16,420 (choking quietly) 8 00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,620 Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me. 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,290 Sheldon! 10 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:25,960 ADULT SHELDON: In fairness to Mr. Dean... 11 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,170 Honey! 12 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,170 ...this one morning, I decided 13 00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:31,040 to forgo my normal 20 chews per bite, 14 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,250 as prescribed by the American Medical Association. 15 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,250 George, help! 16 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,210 Come here, boy. We got it. We just got to smack it out. 17 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:41,080 ADULT SHELDON: To further complicate matters, 18 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,710 in any real-life crisis, 19 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,330 my family's default mode is mindless panic. 20 00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,250 Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die! 21 00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:50,040 ADULT SHELDON: Or heartless apathy. 22 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,040 MARY: Oh, Lord. 23 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,710 Here we go. This is how you do it. 24 00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:56,080 Here we go. And we shake. 25 00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:56,080 Honey! 26 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,250 ADULT SHELDON: It's interesting the things you think about 27 00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,290 when life is ebbing from your body. 28 00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:03,420 For instance, linoleum. What is it, really? 29 00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:07,250 Plastic? And if so, how is it different from Formica? 30 00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:09,500 I'm calling 911. 31 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,420 ADULT SHELDON: And what about Count Chocula? 32 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,960 How is he a count? 33 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,670 Did the title come with land? 34 00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:16,670 George, Heimlich! 35 00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,960 (grunting) 36 00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,960 MARY: Don't hurt his little ribs! 37 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,580 ADULT SHELDON: They say, in the final moments, 38 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:25,120 your life passes before your eyes. 39 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,380 All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife 40 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,040 and putting it back in the jar. 41 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,000 (Sheldon grunts, coughs) 42 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,330 Okay, it's better now. Sheldon! 43 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:36,500 (raspy gasping) 44 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:36,500 Honey. Are you okay? 45 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,250 Can you breathe? Say something! 46 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:41,250 You have to... throw away... that jelly. 47 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:42,540 (panting) 48 00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:47,210 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 49 00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:50,000 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 50 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,500 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 51 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,920 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 52 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,170 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 53 00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:07,500 I've never been late to school before. 54 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,250 I'm late all the time. It's no big deal. 55 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,040 I get you to school on time every day. Why are you late? 56 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,380 I have a lot of people to say hi to in the morning. 57 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,380 SHELDON: Mom, 58 00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,670 would you write a note for me? 59 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,290 Sure. 60 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,210 You have the coolest excuse. 61 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:23,830 You almost died. Did you see Jesus? 62 00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:26,580 I saw Count Chocula. 63 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,120 But feel free to mention my brush with death in the note. 64 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,120 All right, that's enough talk about death and dying. 65 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,380 I came this close to having my own room. 66 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,040 MacELROY: Remember, the food drive 67 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,290 ends Friday. 68 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:43,710 All canned goods are welcome. 69 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:47,420 But please... make sure your cans have labels. 70 00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:49,420 Needy people have enough problems 71 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:52,080 without having to guess what's for dinner. 72 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,710 I'm sorry I'm late. I have a note. 73 00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:00,250 You poor thing, you had a medical emergency? 74 00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:02,710 Yes, ma'am. I choked on a sausage. 75 00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:03,710 (laughter) 76 00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:05,380 BOY: How big was it? 77 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,670 About yay big. 78 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,500 (laughter) 79 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,210 ADULT SHELDON: To this day, 80 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,790 I still don't understand why they were laughing. 81 00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:23,080 You're sitting in my spot. 82 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,330 Why is it your spot? 83 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,120 It's complicated. Just move. 84 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,120 (sighs) 85 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,290 You're reading a comic book. 86 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,290 I am. 87 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,920 You do understand those are for children. 88 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,500 Have you ever read one? 89 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,540 I outgrew picture books when I was three. 90 00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:45,670 Just eat your lunch. 91 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,830 What's the matter? 92 00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:07,210 I-I don't think I can eat this. 93 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:08,460 You want to trade? 94 00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,580 My mom made me fish soup again. 95 00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,540 How long do we have to be in this country 96 00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,880 before I get baloney? 97 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:19,540 Mm, no, thank you. 98 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,210 I'm not hungry. 99 00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:24,380 "I'm not hungry." 100 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,580 Three words you never hear in Vietnam. 101 00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:29,460 MEEMAW: Well, here's something nice. (chuckles) 102 00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,420 You know that Mr. Rosenbloom 103 00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:34,670 with the furniture store over by the steakhouse? 104 00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:37,330 I don't think so. 105 00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:37,330 Oh, sure you do. 106 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:39,330 That Hebrew fella with the comb-over? 107 00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:40,210 You mean Jewish? 108 00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:42,790 I think they like to be called Hebrew. 109 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,290 Anyway, 110 00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:46,710 he's asked me to dinner. 111 00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:47,830 (chuckles) 112 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:50,170 Well, good for you. What'd you say? 113 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,250 I said I'd have to think about it. 114 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,460 What's to think about? 115 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,420 Well, a lot. 116 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,420 I mean, assuming he enjoys dinner, he might want 117 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,080 a scoop of Meemaw for dessert. 118 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,580 Mom, the kids. 119 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,620 I said "dessert." 120 00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:05,920 Did you know I was talking about sex? 121 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,330 No. 122 00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,620 See? 123 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:11,830 Why aren't you eating? 124 00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:14,210 I don't think I can. 125 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,250 Sometimes the different foods touch each other, Sheldon. 126 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,210 Not the end of the world. 127 00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:20,580 No, I'm afraid I'll choke again. 128 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,580 Oh, honey, that's not gonna happen. 129 00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:24,620 Go ahead, eat your dinner. 130 00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:26,290 What's all this about choking? 131 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:28,210 Sheldon almost died this morning. 132 00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:30,000 What?! 133 00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:30,000 Oh, yeah. 134 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,290 Dad was shaking him upside down like a ketchup bottle. 135 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,830 It was great. 136 00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,420 Well, you got to eat something, baby. 137 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:36,380 Just have a few bites. 138 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,250 I can't. It's too risky. 139 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,750 Dibs on the tater tots. 140 00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,250 All right, I'll wrap that up for you, 141 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,000 and if you change your mind, you can have some later. 142 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,420 At least drink your milk. 143 00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:47,710 Sure. 144 00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:49,460 ADULT SHELDON: My mother and father saw 145 00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:53,120 that I'd been traumatized and were patient and understanding 146 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,000 about my fear of eating solid foods. 147 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,790 This lasted one more day. 148 00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,380 MARY: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't 149 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,540 finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up 150 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,330 and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird. 151 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,920 Do it, Mom. Do it. 152 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,540 Mary, can I speak to you for a second? 153 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,540 No. Enough is enough. 154 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,710 The boy has got to eat. 155 00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:11,000 Just give me a minute. 156 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,380 Start eating, mister. 157 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:20,330 You don't mind, right? 158 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,710 How about I cut that pork chop off the bone 159 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:27,380 and throw it in the blender with some gravy? 160 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:31,710 If it fits through a bendy straw, I'll drink it. 161 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:34,040 Coming up. 162 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,710 Why does he get a pork shake? 163 00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,000 This is all my fault. 164 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,000 I rushed him through breakfast the other day, 165 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,000 and now look-- he is wasting away. 166 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,000 Oh, come on. You can't blame yourself. 167 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,290 This isn't gonna last. Remember the time a bee got in the house 168 00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,670 and he slept under a net for a couple months? 169 00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,830 This is different. 170 00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,040 How? 171 00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,040 First of all, 172 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,040 you let that bee in. 173 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,290 The bee was your fault. 174 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,620 Okay. 175 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,620 Secondly, 176 00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:54,830 this is about his health. 177 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,040 He is a fragile little boy. 178 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,460 He can't go on like this. 179 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,830 I'm not arguing with you. 180 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,710 Let's just, you know, give him a little more time. 181 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,080 (sighs) 182 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,380 (blender whirring) 183 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,380 Now what? 184 00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:10,420 Sounds like your mom's making margaritas. 185 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,290 (slurps) 186 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:14,580 What's he drinking? 187 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,540 Pork chop and gravy. 188 00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:18,670 (quietly): I snuck some broccoli in there, too. 189 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:21,580 Shh... 190 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,790 (slurps) 191 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,040 (whirring) 192 00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,670 I'm real glad you've been getting out again. 193 00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:45,290 Me, too. (chuckles) 194 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,960 We had a nice dinner, took a walk. 195 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,120 He's a divorcé, you know. 196 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,210 I didn't. 197 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,080 It's not a big deal for those people. 198 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,120 If they're not a lawyer, they're related to one. 199 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,170 GEORGE SR.: You're actually cutting the crust off 200 00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,580 before you blend it? 201 00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,580 I left it 202 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,170 on his tuna sandwich yesterday, he said he could tell. 203 00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,000 Only drank half of it. 204 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,250 Mary, you think this has gone on long enough? 205 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,750 No trouble. 206 00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:10,170 But it'd be better if I had two blenders. 207 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,000 Be better if you stopped coddling him. 208 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,210 Well, I don't know what else to do. 209 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,420 I suggested that we take him to some kind of professional, 210 00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:17,250 but you said he'd outgrow it. 211 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:18,620 Well, if you're looking for a psychiatrist, 212 00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:21,500 I bet my new fella's related to one. 213 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,080 What do you think? 214 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,920 (sighs) 215 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,920 Not sure. 216 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,170 If we take him to a shrink, it feels like we're admitting 217 00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:32,580 something's wrong with him. 218 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,080 He hasn't had solid food in five weeks. 219 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,790 Well, if there is something wrong with him, 220 00:08:38,790 --> 00:08:40,580 it ain't constipation. 221 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,120 (laughing) 222 00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:47,380 Okay. 223 00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:49,380 Let's see if we can find somebody. 224 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,170 Thank you. 225 00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,710 (sighs): Hmm. 226 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,210 (clicks tongue) 227 00:08:58,210 --> 00:09:00,580 Needs a few more Cheetos. 228 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,580 ADULT SHELDON: My mother managed to locate a family psychiatrist 229 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:05,790 within our price range. 230 00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:07,750 No one seemed to be bothered that he had 231 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:10,500 a coupon in The Pennysaver. 232 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,580 Is this man gonna make me eat solid foods? 233 00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:15,710 No, he just wants to talk to you about it. 234 00:09:15,710 --> 00:09:18,250 Did you tell him I have a lot to accomplish in my life 235 00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:21,790 and cannot afford to be killed by an unchewed sausage? 236 00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:24,420 Not in those exact words. 237 00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:30,000 Did you bring the coupon? 238 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,000 Hi. Welcome. 239 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,790 You must be the Cooper family. 240 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:34,500 We are. 241 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,040 Right on, right on. 242 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,170 This must be Sheldon. 243 00:09:38,290 --> 00:09:39,080 Put 'er there. 244 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,290 No, thank you. 245 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,290 Right on, right on. 246 00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:46,210 Okay, well, here's how I'd like to start. Mom and Dad, 247 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,080 why don't you come talk to me first, and then, Sheldon, 248 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,500 you and I have a little rap session. 249 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,000 Folks? 250 00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:59,250 (quietly): Right on, right on. 251 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,790 Feel free to read any of my comics. 252 00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:08,080 And you guys feel free to sit on my beanbag! 253 00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:15,120 40 cents? Outrageous. 254 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,250 ADULT SHELDON: As fate would have it, 255 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,250 the comic I picked up was called X-Men. 256 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:22,670 Young mutants with incredible powers 257 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:25,080 who were feared and misunderstood 258 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,580 by the entire world. 259 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:29,170 Hey, it's about me. 260 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,620 Now, the thing you have to understand is 261 00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:34,790 Shelly is incredibly bright. 262 00:10:34,790 --> 00:10:37,290 I mean, his IQ is right up there with Albert Einstein 263 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:40,040 and that English wheelchair fella. 264 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,170 Cool. 265 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,170 He's nine years old 266 00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:45,210 and he's in high school, so you can't judge him like other kids. 267 00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,250 I hear ya. 268 00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,250 George, 269 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,170 tell him about how he's always going 270 00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:51,120 on and on about subatomic particles and such. 271 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,250 Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it. 272 00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,250 We're accustomed to his quirks and oddities. 273 00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,290 But this whole "being afraid of solid foods" thing, 274 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,380 it's got us thrown. 275 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:05,000 Okay. Let me just start by saying 276 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,500 you came to the right place. 277 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,500 Sheldon and I happen to have a lot in common. 278 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,080 I, too, was a special little boy. 279 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,790 In the fourth grade, I was reading 280 00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:14,210 at a seventh grade level. 281 00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,210 And I don't have to tell you where I was 282 00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:17,790 by the seventh grade. 283 00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,290 Tenth. 284 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,080 I'm gonna give the beanbag a whirl. 285 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,290 What are y'all watching? 286 00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:33,460 Little Rascals. 287 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,330 You know most of those kids are dead, right? 288 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,460 What? 289 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,670 Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat. 290 00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,080 Even Petey the dog? 291 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,250 Oh, especially Petey the dog. 292 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:48,250 Thanks for making it depressing. 293 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,330 You're very welcome. 294 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,170 Y'all want to go get some ice cream? 295 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,170 What about dinner? 296 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,080 What about it? Come on. 297 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,250 Is ALF dead? 298 00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:59,670 No, but it's just a matter of time. 299 00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:02,000 You'd be surprised how many children have food phobias. 300 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,170 Is that so? 301 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,170 Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age, 302 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:06,250 I was afraid of that weird skin 303 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,880 on top of puddin'. 304 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,880 Really? 305 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,580 Me, too. You know, you put a little Saran Wrap on... 306 00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:11,330 George. 307 00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,000 Sheldon? 308 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,380 Where the hell did he go? 309 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,380 Sheldon? 310 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,040 Couldn't have gone far. 311 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,170 Why not? 312 00:12:21,170 --> 00:12:23,250 Right on, right on. 313 00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:25,210 (line ringing) 314 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,960 I checked the bathroom, the stairs. 315 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,120 He's not in the building. 316 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,210 I'm worried. No one's answering at home. 317 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,330 Stay calm. We'll find him. 318 00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,210 You know, 319 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,620 when I was a kid... 320 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,170 Shut up. 321 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,540 Well... 322 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,290 ADULT SHELDON: It wasn't typical for me to wander out into 323 00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:47,040 the urban jungle on my own, but I was on a mission. 324 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:51,880 I had gotten my first taste of serialized superheroes, 325 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,540 and I needed more. 326 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,250 (bell jingles) 327 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,790 Excuse me, do you have X-Men #137? 328 00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:07,620 I'd like to know what happens next, please. 329 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,880 Back bin in the corner. 330 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,880 What are you doing here? 331 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,500 Oh, hello, Tam. 332 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,790 I thought you said comic books are for children. 333 00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:18,790 I'm a complicated young man. 334 00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,790 I think we should call the police. 335 00:13:23,790 --> 00:13:26,790 We don't need the police. We'll find him. 336 00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,380 This is all my fault. 337 00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:30,620 He ran away because we took him to a therapist. 338 00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,830 That's $15 we ain't getting back. 339 00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:34,790 That's what you're worried about? 340 00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:36,790 No. Course not. 341 00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,790 And Sheldon's fine. 342 00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,790 You know what he's like. 343 00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,210 If someone took him, 344 00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:46,210 (chuckles): I'm sure they'll bring him right back. 345 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,790 ♪ ♪ 346 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,830 I'm enjoying this, but I'm having trouble 347 00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:02,250 with the onomatopoeia. 348 00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,380 The what? 349 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,830 The onomatopoeia. 350 00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:07,960 Words that imitate sounds. 351 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,580 "Kthoom." "Snikt." 352 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:11,880 "Bamf." 353 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,830 Writers shouldn't make up words. 354 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:16,790 Somebody made up "onomatopoeia." 355 00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:21,540 You challenge me. I like that. 356 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,330 Meemaw, are you gonna have any more babies? 357 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,040 Good Lord, no! 358 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,880 She's too old to have any more babies. 359 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,080 Don't have to have 'em. You live long enough, 360 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,880 your hair and your teeth start falling out, 361 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,500 you start wetting the bed, you get to be one. 362 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,620 (laughs) That's funny. 363 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,330 We're gonna have to put a diaper on you. 364 00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:47,670 You won't be laughing when you're doing it. 365 00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,540 I might be. 366 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,960 (laughter) 367 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,750 Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon, who's smarter, me or Georgie? 368 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,460 Me, of course. 369 00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:58,670 Why you? 370 00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,250 My head's bigger. 371 00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:01,830 It doesn't matter. 372 00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:04,790 Tonight is not about Sheldon. 373 00:15:04,790 --> 00:15:07,000 Yeah, right. Everything's always about Sheldon. 374 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,830 Yeah. Most of the time, 375 00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,830 it's like we don't even exist. 376 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:14,380 I guess Sheldon does get most of the attention. 377 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,540 Maybe that's a good thing. 378 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,830 How? 379 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,580 Well, if it weren't for him, your parents would be 380 00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,040 on your ass all the time. 381 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,210 Yeah. I guess I never thought about it that way before. 382 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,960 You kidding me? Right now, they would be nagging you 383 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,170 about cleaning your room 384 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:32,420 and doing your homework. 385 00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:34,710 Instead, you're sitting in a parking lot, 386 00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:37,420 eating a Blizzard for dinner. 387 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,710 With cookie dough in it. 388 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,710 Exactly. 389 00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:43,830 While Sheldon is stuck sitting in some boring shrink's office. 390 00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,580 Mom told me they were taking him for a haircut. 391 00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,250 Oh. Yeah. 392 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,330 Right. 393 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:55,120 Well, when he gets home, say his hair looks good. 394 00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:06,620 ♪ ♪ 395 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,500 What? 396 00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,420 Nothing. 397 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,830 ♪ ♪ 398 00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:27,540 You want one? 399 00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,420 No. 400 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,420 Well... 401 00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,670 if you change your mind, help yourself. 402 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,290 ADULT SHELDON: I didn't have to read many comic books 403 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:42,210 to understand that every superhero had a weakness, 404 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,460 something they had to overcome 405 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,710 through an extraordinary act of courage. 406 00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:51,420 For Cyclops, it was the loss of Jean Grey. 407 00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:53,960 For Rogue, it was human touch. 408 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,830 For me, it was food that required chewing. 409 00:16:56,830 --> 00:17:00,170 So if I truly was a mutant, I would have to do the same. 410 00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,420 ♪ ♪ 411 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:17,620 On this day, I would not be defeated. 412 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:21,920 Because this was the day I became... 413 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,710 ...The Chewer. 414 00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:30,710 Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking. 415 00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,580 All that was left was my fear of dogs, 416 00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:35,620 birds, insects, germs, 417 00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,620 hugging, button fly pants, 418 00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:39,620 rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, 419 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:42,670 estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables, 420 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,420 squeaky balloons, tinted windows, 421 00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:46,790 take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks, 422 00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:48,790 potbelly stoves, dust bunnies, 423 00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:51,000 that fuzz on peaches. Ugh. 424 00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,580 What I find interesting is how many supervillains 425 00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:01,960 are scientists: Doctor Octopus, 426 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,580 Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor, 427 00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:07,580 Green Goblin, the list goes on and on. 428 00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:08,580 So? 429 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,750 So if the world doesn't respect me, 430 00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:12,330 I might change sides. 431 00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,920 (indistinct police radio chatter) 432 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,750 Uh-oh. 433 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,330 Good luck. 434 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,670 (sighs) 435 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:29,460 ADULT SHELDON: I tried to explain to my parents 436 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:31,080 that a mutant named Cyclops, 437 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,250 who shoots laser beams out of his eyes, 438 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,330 helped me eat a licorice stick. 439 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,960 Went right over their heads.