1
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,080
Let's go. Let's go.
2
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,460
We're gonna be late!
3
00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:08,330
ADULT SHELDON:
Fun fact-- the first time
4
00:00:08,330 --> 00:00:10,210
I almost died was
at the age of nine.
5
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,580
The murder weapon?
6
00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:13,620
A Jimmy Dean sausage.
7
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:16,420
(choking quietly)
8
00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,620
Mom, Sheldon's
making faces at me.
9
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,290
Sheldon!
10
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:25,960
ADULT SHELDON:
In fairness to Mr. Dean...
11
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,170
Honey!
12
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,170
...this one morning, I decided
13
00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:31,040
to forgo my normal
20 chews per bite,
14
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,250
as prescribed by the
American Medical Association.
15
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,250
George, help!
16
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,210
Come here, boy. We got it.
We just got to smack it out.
17
00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:41,080
ADULT SHELDON:
To further complicate matters,
18
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,710
in any real-life crisis,
19
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,330
my family's default mode
is mindless panic.
20
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,250
Sheldon's gonna die!
Sheldon's gonna die!
21
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:50,040
ADULT SHELDON:
Or heartless apathy.
22
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,040
MARY:
Oh, Lord.
23
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,710
Here we go.
This is how you do it.
24
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:56,080
Here we go. And we shake.
25
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:56,080
Honey!
26
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,250
ADULT SHELDON: It's interesting
the things you think about
27
00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,290
when life is ebbing
from your body.
28
00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:03,420
For instance, linoleum.
What is it, really?
29
00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:07,250
Plastic? And if so, how is it
different from Formica?
30
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:09,500
I'm calling 911.
31
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,420
ADULT SHELDON:
And what about Count Chocula?
32
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,960
How is he a count?
33
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,670
Did the title come with land?
34
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:16,670
George, Heimlich!
35
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,960
(grunting)
36
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,960
MARY:
Don't hurt his little ribs!
37
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,580
ADULT SHELDON:
They say, in the final moments,
38
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:25,120
your life passes
before your eyes.
39
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,380
All I saw was my brother
licking jelly off the knife
40
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,040
and putting it back in the jar.
41
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,000
(Sheldon grunts, coughs)
42
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,330
Okay, it's better now. Sheldon!
43
00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:36,500
(raspy gasping)
44
00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:36,500
Honey. Are you okay?
45
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,250
Can you breathe?
Say something!
46
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:41,250
You have to... throw
away... that jelly.
47
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:42,540
(panting)
48
00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:47,210
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
49
00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:50,000
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
50
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,500
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
51
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:54,920
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
52
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,170
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
53
00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:07,500
I've never been late
to school before.
54
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,250
I'm late all the time.
It's no big deal.
55
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,040
I get you to school on time
every day. Why are you late?
56
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,380
I have a lot of people
to say hi to in the morning.
57
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,380
SHELDON:
Mom,
58
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,670
would you write a note for me?
59
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,290
Sure.
60
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,210
You have the coolest excuse.
61
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:23,830
You almost died.
Did you see Jesus?
62
00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:26,580
I saw Count Chocula.
63
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,120
But feel free to mention
my brush with death in the note.
64
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,120
All right, that's enough
talk about death and dying.
65
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,380
I came this close to
having my own room.
66
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,040
MacELROY:
Remember, the food drive
67
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,290
ends Friday.
68
00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:43,710
All canned goods
are welcome.
69
00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:47,420
But please... make sure
your cans have labels.
70
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:49,420
Needy people
have enough problems
71
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:52,080
without having to guess
what's for dinner.
72
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,710
I'm sorry I'm late.
I have a note.
73
00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:00,250
You poor thing, you had
a medical emergency?
74
00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:02,710
Yes, ma'am.
I choked on a sausage.
75
00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:03,710
(laughter)
76
00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:05,380
BOY:
How big was it?
77
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,670
About yay big.
78
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,500
(laughter)
79
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,210
ADULT SHELDON:
To this day,
80
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,790
I still don't understand
why they were laughing.
81
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:23,080
You're sitting in my spot.
82
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,330
Why is it your spot?
83
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,120
It's complicated.
Just move.
84
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,120
(sighs)
85
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,290
You're reading
a comic book.
86
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,290
I am.
87
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,920
You do understand
those are for children.
88
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,500
Have you ever read one?
89
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,540
I outgrew picture books
when I was three.
90
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:45,670
Just eat your lunch.
91
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,830
What's the matter?
92
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:07,210
I-I don't think
I can eat this.
93
00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:08,460
You want to trade?
94
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,580
My mom made me
fish soup again.
95
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,540
How long do we have
to be in this country
96
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,880
before I get baloney?
97
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:19,540
Mm, no, thank you.
98
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,210
I'm not hungry.
99
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:24,380
"I'm not hungry."
100
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,580
Three words you never hear
in Vietnam.
101
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:29,460
MEEMAW: Well, here's
something nice. (chuckles)
102
00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,420
You know
that Mr. Rosenbloom
103
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:34,670
with the furniture store
over by the steakhouse?
104
00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:37,330
I don't think so.
105
00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:37,330
Oh, sure you do.
106
00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:39,330
That Hebrew fella
with the comb-over?
107
00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:40,210
You mean Jewish?
108
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:42,790
I think they like
to be called Hebrew.
109
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,290
Anyway,
110
00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:46,710
he's asked me to dinner.
111
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:47,830
(chuckles)
112
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:50,170
Well, good for you.
What'd you say?
113
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,250
I said I'd have
to think about it.
114
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,460
What's to think about?
115
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,420
Well, a lot.
116
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,420
I mean, assuming he enjoys
dinner, he might want
117
00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,080
a scoop of Meemaw for dessert.
118
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,580
Mom, the kids.
119
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,620
I said "dessert."
120
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:05,920
Did you know
I was talking about sex?
121
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,330
No.
122
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,620
See?
123
00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:11,830
Why aren't you eating?
124
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:14,210
I don't think I can.
125
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,250
Sometimes the different foods
touch each other, Sheldon.
126
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,210
Not the end of the world.
127
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:20,580
No, I'm afraid I'll choke again.
128
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,580
Oh, honey, that's
not gonna happen.
129
00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:24,620
Go ahead, eat your dinner.
130
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:26,290
What's all this about choking?
131
00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:28,210
Sheldon almost died
this morning.
132
00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:30,000
What?!
133
00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:30,000
Oh, yeah.
134
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,290
Dad was shaking him upside down
like a ketchup bottle.
135
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,830
It was great.
136
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,420
Well, you got to eat
something, baby.
137
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:36,380
Just have a few bites.
138
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,250
I can't. It's too risky.
139
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,750
Dibs on the tater tots.
140
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,250
All right, I'll wrap
that up for you,
141
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,000
and if you change your mind,
you can have some later.
142
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,420
At least drink your milk.
143
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:47,710
Sure.
144
00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:49,460
ADULT SHELDON:
My mother and father saw
145
00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:53,120
that I'd been traumatized and
were patient and understanding
146
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,000
about my fear
of eating solid foods.
147
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,790
This lasted one more day.
148
00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,380
MARY: Sheldon Lee Cooper,
if you don't
149
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,540
finish that pork chop,
I swear I will chew it up
150
00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,330
and spit it in your mouth
like a mama bird.
151
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,920
Do it, Mom. Do it.
152
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,540
Mary, can I speak to you
for a second?
153
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,540
No. Enough is enough.
154
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,710
The boy has got to eat.
155
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:11,000
Just give me a minute.
156
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,380
Start eating, mister.
157
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:20,330
You don't mind, right?
158
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,710
How about I cut that
pork chop off the bone
159
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:27,380
and throw it in the
blender with some gravy?
160
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:31,710
If it fits through
a bendy straw, I'll drink it.
161
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:34,040
Coming up.
162
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,710
Why does he get a pork shake?
163
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,000
This is all my fault.
164
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,000
I rushed him through
breakfast the other day,
165
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,000
and now look--
he is wasting away.
166
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,000
Oh, come on.
You can't blame yourself.
167
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,290
This isn't gonna last. Remember
the time a bee got in the house
168
00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,670
and he slept under a net
for a couple months?
169
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,830
This is different.
170
00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,040
How?
171
00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,040
First of all,
172
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,040
you let that bee in.
173
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,290
The bee was your fault.
174
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,620
Okay.
175
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,620
Secondly,
176
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:54,830
this is about his health.
177
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,040
He is a fragile little boy.
178
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,460
He can't go on like this.
179
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,830
I'm not arguing with you.
180
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,710
Let's just, you know,
give him a little more time.
181
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,080
(sighs)
182
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,380
(blender whirring)
183
00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,380
Now what?
184
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:10,420
Sounds like your mom's
making margaritas.
185
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,290
(slurps)
186
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:14,580
What's he drinking?
187
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,540
Pork chop and gravy.
188
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:18,670
(quietly): I snuck
some broccoli in there, too.
189
00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:21,580
Shh...
190
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,790
(slurps)
191
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,040
(whirring)
192
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,670
I'm real glad
you've been getting out again.
193
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:45,290
Me, too. (chuckles)
194
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,960
We had a nice dinner,
took a walk.
195
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,120
He's a divorcé, you know.
196
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,210
I didn't.
197
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,080
It's not a big deal
for those people.
198
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,120
If they're not a lawyer,
they're related to one.
199
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,170
GEORGE SR.: You're actually
cutting the crust off
200
00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,580
before you blend it?
201
00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,580
I left it
202
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,170
on his tuna sandwich yesterday,
he said he could tell.
203
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,000
Only drank half of it.
204
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,250
Mary, you think this has
gone on long enough?
205
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,750
No trouble.
206
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:10,170
But it'd be better
if I had two blenders.
207
00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,000
Be better if you stopped
coddling him.
208
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,210
Well, I don't know
what else to do.
209
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,420
I suggested that we take him
to some kind of professional,
210
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:17,250
but you said he'd outgrow it.
211
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:18,620
Well, if you're looking
for a psychiatrist,
212
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:21,500
I bet my new fella's
related to one.
213
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,080
What do you think?
214
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,920
(sighs)
215
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,920
Not sure.
216
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,170
If we take him to a shrink,
it feels like we're admitting
217
00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:32,580
something's wrong with him.
218
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,080
He hasn't had solid food
in five weeks.
219
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,790
Well, if there is
something wrong with him,
220
00:08:38,790 --> 00:08:40,580
it ain't constipation.
221
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,120
(laughing)
222
00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:47,380
Okay.
223
00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:49,380
Let's see if we
can find somebody.
224
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,170
Thank you.
225
00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,710
(sighs):
Hmm.
226
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,210
(clicks tongue)
227
00:08:58,210 --> 00:09:00,580
Needs a few more Cheetos.
228
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,580
ADULT SHELDON: My mother managed
to locate a family psychiatrist
229
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:05,790
within our price range.
230
00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:07,750
No one seemed to be bothered
that he had
231
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:10,500
a coupon in The Pennysaver.
232
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,580
Is this man gonna make me
eat solid foods?
233
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:15,710
No, he just wants to
talk to you about it.
234
00:09:15,710 --> 00:09:18,250
Did you tell him I have
a lot to accomplish in my life
235
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:21,790
and cannot afford to be killed
by an unchewed sausage?
236
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:24,420
Not in those exact words.
237
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:30,000
Did you bring
the coupon?
238
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,000
Hi. Welcome.
239
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,790
You must be the Cooper family.
240
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:34,500
We are.
241
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,040
Right on, right on.
242
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,170
This must be Sheldon.
243
00:09:38,290 --> 00:09:39,080
Put 'er there.
244
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,290
No, thank you.
245
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,290
Right on, right on.
246
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:46,210
Okay, well, here's how
I'd like to start. Mom and Dad,
247
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,080
why don't you come talk to me
first, and then, Sheldon,
248
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,500
you and I have
a little rap session.
249
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,000
Folks?
250
00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:59,250
(quietly):
Right on, right on.
251
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,790
Feel free to read
any of my comics.
252
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:08,080
And you guys feel free
to sit on my beanbag!
253
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:15,120
40 cents? Outrageous.
254
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,250
ADULT SHELDON:
As fate would have it,
255
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,250
the comic I picked up
was called X-Men.
256
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:22,670
Young mutants
with incredible powers
257
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:25,080
who were feared
and misunderstood
258
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,580
by the entire world.
259
00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:29,170
Hey, it's about me.
260
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,620
Now, the thing
you have to understand is
261
00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:34,790
Shelly is
incredibly bright.
262
00:10:34,790 --> 00:10:37,290
I mean, his IQ is right up there
with Albert Einstein
263
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:40,040
and that English
wheelchair fella.
264
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,170
Cool.
265
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,170
He's nine years old
266
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:45,210
and he's in high school, so you
can't judge him like other kids.
267
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,250
I hear ya.
268
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,250
George,
269
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,170
tell him about
how he's always going
270
00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:51,120
on and on about
subatomic particles and such.
271
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,250
Oh, he'll get to gabbin'
about it.
272
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,250
We're accustomed
to his quirks and oddities.
273
00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,290
But this whole "being afraid
of solid foods" thing,
274
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,380
it's got us thrown.
275
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:05,000
Okay.
Let me just start by saying
276
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,500
you came to the right place.
277
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,500
Sheldon and I happen
to have a lot in common.
278
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,080
I, too, was
a special little boy.
279
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,790
In the fourth grade,
I was reading
280
00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:14,210
at a seventh grade level.
281
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,210
And I don't have to tell you
where I was
282
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:17,790
by the seventh grade.
283
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,290
Tenth.
284
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,080
I'm gonna give
the beanbag a whirl.
285
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,290
What are y'all watching?
286
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:33,460
Little Rascals.
287
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,330
You know most of those kids
are dead, right?
288
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,460
What?
289
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,670
Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat.
290
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,080
Even Petey the dog?
291
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,250
Oh, especially Petey the dog.
292
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:48,250
Thanks for making it
depressing.
293
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,330
You're very welcome.
294
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,170
Y'all want to go get
some ice cream?
295
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,170
What about dinner?
296
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,080
What about it? Come on.
297
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,250
Is ALF dead?
298
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:59,670
No, but it's just
a matter of time.
299
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:02,000
You'd be surprised how many
children have food phobias.
300
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,170
Is that so?
301
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,170
Oh, yeah. When I
was Sheldon's age,
302
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:06,250
I was afraid of
that weird skin
303
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,880
on top of puddin'.
304
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,880
Really?
305
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,580
Me, too. You know, you put
a little Saran Wrap on...
306
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:11,330
George.
307
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,000
Sheldon?
308
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,380
Where the hell did he go?
309
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,380
Sheldon?
310
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,040
Couldn't have gone far.
311
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,170
Why not?
312
00:12:21,170 --> 00:12:23,250
Right on, right on.
313
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:25,210
(line ringing)
314
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,960
I checked the bathroom,
the stairs.
315
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,120
He's not in the building.
316
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,210
I'm worried.
No one's answering at home.
317
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,330
Stay calm. We'll find him.
318
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,210
You know,
319
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,620
when I was a kid...
320
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,170
Shut up.
321
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,540
Well...
322
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,290
ADULT SHELDON: It wasn't typical
for me to wander out into
323
00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:47,040
the urban jungle on my own,
but I was on a mission.
324
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:51,880
I had gotten my first taste
of serialized superheroes,
325
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,540
and I needed more.
326
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,250
(bell jingles)
327
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,790
Excuse me,
do you have X-Men #137?
328
00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:07,620
I'd like to know
what happens next, please.
329
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,880
Back bin in the corner.
330
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,880
What are you doing here?
331
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,500
Oh, hello, Tam.
332
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,790
I thought you said
comic books are for children.
333
00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:18,790
I'm a complicated young man.
334
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,790
I think we should
call the police.
335
00:13:23,790 --> 00:13:26,790
We don't need the police.
We'll find him.
336
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,380
This is all my fault.
337
00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:30,620
He ran away because
we took him to a therapist.
338
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:32,830
That's $15 we ain't
getting back.
339
00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:34,790
That's what you're
worried about?
340
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:36,790
No. Course not.
341
00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,790
And Sheldon's fine.
342
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,790
You know what he's like.
343
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,210
If someone took him,
344
00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:46,210
(chuckles): I'm sure
they'll bring him right back.
345
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,790
♪ ♪
346
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,830
I'm enjoying this,
but I'm having trouble
347
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:02,250
with the onomatopoeia.
348
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,380
The what?
349
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,830
The onomatopoeia.
350
00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:07,960
Words that imitate sounds.
351
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,580
"Kthoom." "Snikt."
352
00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:11,880
"Bamf."
353
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,830
Writers shouldn't
make up words.
354
00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:16,790
Somebody made up
"onomatopoeia."
355
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:21,540
You challenge me.
I like that.
356
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,330
Meemaw, are you gonna have
any more babies?
357
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,040
Good Lord, no!
358
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,880
She's too old
to have any more babies.
359
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,080
Don't have to have 'em.
You live long enough,
360
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,880
your hair and your teeth
start falling out,
361
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,500
you start wetting the bed,
you get to be one.
362
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,620
(laughs) That's funny.
363
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,330
We're gonna have to
put a diaper on you.
364
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:47,670
You won't be laughing
when you're doing it.
365
00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,540
I might be.
366
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,960
(laughter)
367
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,750
Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon,
who's smarter, me or Georgie?
368
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,460
Me, of course.
369
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:58,670
Why you?
370
00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,250
My head's bigger.
371
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:01,830
It doesn't matter.
372
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:04,790
Tonight is not about Sheldon.
373
00:15:04,790 --> 00:15:07,000
Yeah, right. Everything's
always about Sheldon.
374
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,830
Yeah. Most of the time,
375
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,830
it's like we don't even exist.
376
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:14,380
I guess Sheldon does get
most of the attention.
377
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,540
Maybe that's a good thing.
378
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,830
How?
379
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,580
Well, if it weren't for him,
your parents would be
380
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,040
on your ass all the time.
381
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,210
Yeah. I guess I never thought
about it that way before.
382
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,960
You kidding me? Right now,
they would be nagging you
383
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,170
about cleaning your room
384
00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:32,420
and doing
your homework.
385
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:34,710
Instead, you're sitting
in a parking lot,
386
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:37,420
eating a Blizzard for dinner.
387
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,710
With cookie dough in it.
388
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,710
Exactly.
389
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:43,830
While Sheldon is stuck sitting
in some boring shrink's office.
390
00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,580
Mom told me they were
taking him for a haircut.
391
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,250
Oh. Yeah.
392
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,330
Right.
393
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:55,120
Well, when he gets home,
say his hair looks good.
394
00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:06,620
♪ ♪
395
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,500
What?
396
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,420
Nothing.
397
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,830
♪ ♪
398
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:27,540
You want one?
399
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,420
No.
400
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,420
Well...
401
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,670
if you change your mind,
help yourself.
402
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,290
ADULT SHELDON: I didn't
have to read many comic books
403
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:42,210
to understand that
every superhero had a weakness,
404
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,460
something they had to overcome
405
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,710
through an extraordinary act
of courage.
406
00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:51,420
For Cyclops,
it was the loss of Jean Grey.
407
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:53,960
For Rogue, it was human touch.
408
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,830
For me, it was food
that required chewing.
409
00:16:56,830 --> 00:17:00,170
So if I truly was a mutant,
I would have to do the same.
410
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,420
♪ ♪
411
00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:17,620
On this day,
I would not be defeated.
412
00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:21,920
Because this was
the day I became...
413
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,710
...The Chewer.
414
00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:30,710
Just like that,
I overcame my fear of choking.
415
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,580
All that was left
was my fear of dogs,
416
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:35,620
birds, insects, germs,
417
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,620
hugging, button fly pants,
418
00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:39,620
rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans,
419
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:42,670
estuaries, corduroy,
root vegetables,
420
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,420
squeaky balloons,
tinted windows,
421
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:46,790
take a penny, leave a penny,
fireworks,
422
00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:48,790
potbelly stoves, dust bunnies,
423
00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:51,000
that fuzz on peaches. Ugh.
424
00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,580
What I find interesting
is how many supervillains
425
00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:01,960
are scientists:
Doctor Octopus,
426
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,580
Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor,
427
00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:07,580
Green Goblin,
the list goes on and on.
428
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:08,580
So?
429
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,750
So if the world
doesn't respect me,
430
00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:12,330
I might change sides.
431
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,920
(indistinct
police radio chatter)
432
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,750
Uh-oh.
433
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,330
Good luck.
434
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,670
(sighs)
435
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:29,460
ADULT SHELDON: I tried
to explain to my parents
436
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:31,080
that a mutant named Cyclops,
437
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,250
who shoots laser beams
out of his eyes,
438
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,330
helped me eat a licorice stick.
439
00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,960
Went right over their heads.