1
00:00:01,994 --> 00:00:03,462
Let's go. Let's go.
2
00:00:03,465 --> 00:00:04,831
We're gonna be late!
3
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:06,797
ADULT SHELDON: Fun fact... the first time
4
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:09,061
I almost died was at the age of nine.
5
00:00:09,064 --> 00:00:10,267
The murder weapon?
6
00:00:10,269 --> 00:00:12,336
A Jimmy Dean sausage.
7
00:00:12,338 --> 00:00:15,172
[CHOKING QUIETLY]
8
00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:19,876
Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me.
9
00:00:21,782 --> 00:00:23,093
Sheldon!
10
00:00:23,104 --> 00:00:24,826
ADULT SHELDON: In fairness to Mr. Dean...
11
00:00:24,829 --> 00:00:26,650
- Honey!
- This one morning, I decided
12
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,172
to forgo my normal
20 chews per bite,
13
00:00:29,175 --> 00:00:31,709
as prescribed by the
American Medical Association.
14
00:00:31,712 --> 00:00:33,257
George, help!
15
00:00:34,794 --> 00:00:37,995
Come here, boy. We got it.
We just got to smack it out.
16
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,696
ADULT SHELDON: To further
complicate matters,
17
00:00:39,698 --> 00:00:41,520
in any real-life crisis,
18
00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:44,902
my family's default
mode is mindless panic.
19
00:00:44,904 --> 00:00:46,970
Sheldon's gonna die!
Sheldon's gonna die!
20
00:00:46,972 --> 00:00:48,639
ADULT SHELDON: Or heartless apathy.
21
00:00:48,641 --> 00:00:50,437
MARY: Oh, Lord.
22
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,070
Here we go. This is how you do it.
23
00:00:52,073 --> 00:00:54,645
- Here we go. And we shake.
- Honey!
24
00:00:54,647 --> 00:00:56,980
ADULT SHELDON: It's interesting
the things you think about
25
00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:58,740
when life is ebbing from your body.
26
00:00:58,743 --> 00:01:02,073
For instance, linoleum.
What is it, really?
27
00:01:02,076 --> 00:01:05,505
Plastic? And if so, how is
it different from Formica?
28
00:01:05,508 --> 00:01:08,125
I'm calling 911.
29
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:11,128
ADULT SHELDON: And what
about Count Chocula?
30
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,563
How is he a count?
31
00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:14,232
Did the title come with land?
32
00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:15,566
George, Heimlich!
33
00:01:16,802 --> 00:01:19,318
- [GRUNTING]
- MARY: Don't hurt his little ribs!
34
00:01:19,321 --> 00:01:21,170
ADULT SHELDON: They say,
in the final moments,
35
00:01:21,173 --> 00:01:23,607
your life passes before your eyes.
36
00:01:23,609 --> 00:01:26,977
All I saw was my brother
licking jelly off the knife
37
00:01:26,979 --> 00:01:28,712
and putting it back in the jar.
38
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,443
[SHELDON GRUNTS, COUGHS]
39
00:01:30,446 --> 00:01:32,115
Okay, it's better now. Sheldon!
40
00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:34,951
- [RASPY GASPING]
- Honey. Are you okay?
41
00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:36,638
Can you breathe? Say something!
42
00:01:36,641 --> 00:01:39,856
You have to... throw away... that jelly.
43
00:01:39,859 --> 00:01:41,492
[PANTING]
44
00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:45,796
♪ Nobody else is
stronger than I am ♪
45
00:01:45,798 --> 00:01:48,599
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
46
00:01:48,601 --> 00:01:51,201
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
47
00:01:51,203 --> 00:01:54,056
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
48
00:01:54,059 --> 00:01:59,911
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- -- www.Addic7ed.com --
49
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,376
I've never been late to school before.
50
00:02:06,379 --> 00:02:08,691
I'm late all the time. It's no big deal.
51
00:02:08,694 --> 00:02:11,655
I get you to school on time
every day. Why are you late?
52
00:02:11,657 --> 00:02:14,124
I have a lot of people to
say hi to in the morning.
53
00:02:14,126 --> 00:02:14,949
SHELDON: Mom,
54
00:02:14,952 --> 00:02:16,360
would you write a note for me?
55
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:17,574
Sure.
56
00:02:17,577 --> 00:02:19,763
You have the coolest excuse.
57
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,533
You almost died. Did you see Jesus?
58
00:02:22,535 --> 00:02:25,302
I saw Count Chocula.
59
00:02:25,304 --> 00:02:28,590
But feel free to mention my
brush with death in the note.
60
00:02:28,593 --> 00:02:31,708
All right, that's enough
talk about death and dying.
61
00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:34,785
I came this close to having my own room.
62
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,683
MACELROY: Remember, the food drive
63
00:02:39,685 --> 00:02:40,884
ends Friday.
64
00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,516
All canned goods are welcome.
65
00:02:42,519 --> 00:02:46,618
But please... make sure
your cans have labels.
66
00:02:46,621 --> 00:02:48,158
Needy people have enough problems
67
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,661
without having to
guess what's for dinner.
68
00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:53,043
I'm sorry I'm late. I have a note.
69
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,910
You poor thing, you
had a medical emergency?
70
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:01,647
Yes, ma'am. I choked on a sausage.
71
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:02,649
[LAUGHTER]
72
00:03:02,652 --> 00:03:04,107
BOY: How big was it?
73
00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:06,343
About yay big.
74
00:03:06,345 --> 00:03:08,111
[LAUGHTER]
75
00:03:08,113 --> 00:03:10,681
ADULT SHELDON: To this day,
76
00:03:10,683 --> 00:03:13,650
I still don't understand
why they were laughing.
77
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:21,692
You're sitting in my spot.
78
00:03:21,694 --> 00:03:23,827
Why is it your spot?
79
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,762
It's complicated. Just move.
80
00:03:25,765 --> 00:03:27,932
[SIGHS]
81
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,806
- You're reading a comic book.
- I am.
82
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:38,609
You do understand
those are for children.
83
00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:40,177
Have you ever read one?
84
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:43,121
I outgrew picture
books when I was three.
85
00:03:43,124 --> 00:03:44,390
Just eat your lunch.
86
00:04:00,855 --> 00:04:02,727
What's the matter?
87
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:05,410
I-I don't think I can eat this.
88
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,170
You want to trade?
89
00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:09,105
My mom made me fish soup again.
90
00:04:09,108 --> 00:04:10,777
How long do we have
to be in this country
91
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,785
before I get baloney?
92
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:18,239
Mm, no, thank you.
93
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,716
I'm not hungry.
94
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:23,053
"I'm not hungry."
95
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,288
Three words you never hear in Vietnam.
96
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:28,754
MEEMAW: Well, here's
something nice. [CHUCKLES]
97
00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:30,524
You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
98
00:04:30,527 --> 00:04:33,330
with the furniture store
over by the steakhouse?
99
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,746
- I don't think so.
- Oh, sure you do.
100
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:37,754
That Hebrew fella with the comb-over?
101
00:04:37,757 --> 00:04:38,935
You mean Jewish?
102
00:04:38,937 --> 00:04:41,471
I think they like to be called Hebrew.
103
00:04:41,473 --> 00:04:43,106
Anyway,
104
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,556
he's asked me to dinner.
105
00:04:45,559 --> 00:04:46,476
[CHUCKLES]
106
00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:48,745
Well, good for you. What'd you say?
107
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,793
I said I'd have to think about it.
108
00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:52,182
What's to think about?
109
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,801
Well, a lot.
110
00:04:53,804 --> 00:04:56,777
I mean, assuming he enjoys
dinner, he might want
111
00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:58,541
a scoop of Meemaw for dessert.
112
00:04:58,544 --> 00:05:00,189
Mom, the kids.
113
00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:02,259
I said "dessert."
114
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,528
Did you know I was talking about sex?
115
00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:05,762
No.
116
00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:07,152
See?
117
00:05:08,988 --> 00:05:10,467
Why aren't you eating?
118
00:05:10,469 --> 00:05:12,637
I don't think I can.
119
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,235
Sometimes the different foods
touch each other, Sheldon.
120
00:05:15,238 --> 00:05:16,807
Not the end of the world.
121
00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:19,209
No, I'm afraid I'll choke again.
122
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:21,715
Oh, honey, that's not gonna happen.
123
00:05:21,718 --> 00:05:23,313
Go ahead, eat your dinner.
124
00:05:23,315 --> 00:05:25,048
What's all this about choking?
125
00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,917
Sheldon almost died this morning.
126
00:05:26,919 --> 00:05:28,301
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.
127
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:30,918
Dad was shaking him upside
down like a ketchup bottle.
128
00:05:30,921 --> 00:05:32,324
It was great.
129
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:34,189
Well, you got to eat something, baby.
130
00:05:34,192 --> 00:05:35,391
Just have a few bites.
131
00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:37,722
I can't. It's too risky.
132
00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:39,097
Dibs on the tater tots.
133
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,831
All right, I'll wrap that up for you,
134
00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:43,417
and if you change your mind,
you can have some later.
135
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:44,968
At least drink your milk.
136
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,303
Sure.
137
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:48,105
ADULT SHELDON: My
mother and father saw
138
00:05:48,107 --> 00:05:51,641
that I'd been traumatized and
were patient and understanding
139
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,611
about my fear of
eating solid foods.
140
00:05:54,613 --> 00:05:56,446
This lasted one more day.
141
00:05:56,448 --> 00:05:58,081
MARY: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't
142
00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:00,150
finish that pork chop,
I swear I will chew it up
143
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,878
and spit it in your
mouth like a mama bird.
144
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:02,925
Do it, Mom. Do it.
145
00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:05,442
- Mary, can I speak to you for a second?
- No. Enough is enough.
146
00:06:05,444 --> 00:06:07,003
The boy has got to eat.
147
00:06:07,006 --> 00:06:08,816
Just give me a minute.
148
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:12,772
Start eating, mister.
149
00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:17,949
You don't mind, right?
150
00:06:20,706 --> 00:06:23,340
How about I cut that
pork chop off the bone
151
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:26,109
and throw it in the
blender with some gravy?
152
00:06:26,111 --> 00:06:30,380
If it fits through a
bendy straw, I'll drink it.
153
00:06:30,382 --> 00:06:32,649
Coming up.
154
00:06:32,651 --> 00:06:35,089
Why does he get a pork shake?
155
00:06:35,092 --> 00:06:36,318
This is all my fault.
156
00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:38,288
I rushed him through
breakfast the other day,
157
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,113
and now look... He is wasting away.
158
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:42,199
Oh, come on. You can't blame yourself.
159
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,594
This isn't gonna last. Remember
the time a bee got in the house
160
00:06:44,596 --> 00:06:46,406
and he slept under a
net for a couple months?
161
00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,019
This is different.
162
00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:49,245
- How?
- First of all,
163
00:06:49,248 --> 00:06:50,399
you let that bee in.
164
00:06:50,402 --> 00:06:51,568
The bee was your fault.
165
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,069
- Okay.
- Secondly,
166
00:06:53,071 --> 00:06:54,237
this is about his health.
167
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,625
He is a fragile little boy.
168
00:06:55,628 --> 00:06:56,930
He can't go on like this.
169
00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:58,241
I'm not arguing with you.
170
00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:01,077
Let's just, you know, give
him a little more time.
171
00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:02,379
[SIGHS]
172
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:05,615
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
173
00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:07,456
Now what?
174
00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:09,686
Sounds like your mom's
making margaritas.
175
00:07:09,688 --> 00:07:11,755
[SLURPS]
176
00:07:12,613 --> 00:07:13,824
What's he drinking?
177
00:07:13,826 --> 00:07:15,892
Pork chop and gravy.
178
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,061
[QUIETLY]: I snuck some
broccoli in there, too.
179
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,863
Shh...
180
00:07:23,347 --> 00:07:24,698
[SLURPS]
181
00:07:26,636 --> 00:07:29,792
_
182
00:07:34,009 --> 00:07:36,209
[WHIRRING]
183
00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,713
I'm real glad you've
been getting out again.
184
00:07:39,715 --> 00:07:41,381
Me, too. [CHUCKLES]
185
00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:43,950
We had a nice dinner, took a walk.
186
00:07:43,952 --> 00:07:46,119
He's a divorcé, you know.
187
00:07:46,121 --> 00:07:47,287
I didn't.
188
00:07:47,289 --> 00:07:49,022
It's not a big deal for those people.
189
00:07:49,024 --> 00:07:52,092
If they're not a lawyer,
they're related to one.
190
00:07:52,094 --> 00:07:54,094
GEORGE SR.: You're actually
cutting the crust off
191
00:07:54,096 --> 00:07:55,773
- before you blend it?
- I left it
192
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,565
on his tuna sandwich yesterday,
he said he could tell.
193
00:07:58,568 --> 00:08:00,234
Only drank half of it.
194
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:02,437
Mary, you think this
has gone on long enough?
195
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,670
No trouble.
196
00:08:03,672 --> 00:08:06,039
But it'd be better
if I had two blenders.
197
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:07,706
Be better if you stopped coddling him.
198
00:08:07,709 --> 00:08:09,309
Well, I don't know what else to do.
199
00:08:09,311 --> 00:08:11,511
I suggested that we take him
to some kind of professional,
200
00:08:11,513 --> 00:08:13,080
but you said he'd outgrow it.
201
00:08:13,082 --> 00:08:14,851
Well, if you're looking
for a psychiatrist,
202
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:17,003
I bet my new fella's related to one.
203
00:08:19,956 --> 00:08:21,528
What do you think?
204
00:08:21,531 --> 00:08:23,164
[SIGHS]
205
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:24,825
Not sure.
206
00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:27,294
If we take him to a shrink,
it feels like we're admitting
207
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:28,628
something's wrong with him.
208
00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:31,489
He hasn't had solid food in five weeks.
209
00:08:31,492 --> 00:08:35,127
Well, if there is
something wrong with him,
210
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,963
it ain't constipation.
211
00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:38,599
[LAUGHING]
212
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,410
Okay.
213
00:08:43,412 --> 00:08:45,479
Let's see if we can find somebody.
214
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,280
Thank you.
215
00:08:47,282 --> 00:08:48,949
[SIGHS]: Hmm.
216
00:08:52,788 --> 00:08:54,187
[CLICKS TONGUE]
217
00:08:54,189 --> 00:08:56,787
Needs a few more Cheetos.
218
00:08:56,790 --> 00:09:00,242
ADULT SHELDON: My mother managed
to locate a family psychiatrist
219
00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:01,892
within our price range.
220
00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:03,928
No one seemed to be
bothered that he had
221
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:06,765
a coupon in The Pennysaver.
222
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,675
Is this man gonna make
me eat solid foods?
223
00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:11,737
No, he just wants to
talk to you about it.
224
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:14,571
Did you tell him I have a
lot to accomplish in my life
225
00:09:14,574 --> 00:09:18,043
and cannot afford to be
killed by an unchewed sausage?
226
00:09:18,045 --> 00:09:20,315
Not in those exact words.
227
00:09:23,784 --> 00:09:26,217
Did you bring the coupon?
228
00:09:26,219 --> 00:09:28,219
Hi. Welcome.
229
00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:29,800
You must be the Cooper family.
230
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,822
We are.
231
00:09:30,824 --> 00:09:32,257
Right on, right on.
232
00:09:32,259 --> 00:09:34,128
This must be Sheldon.
233
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:35,527
Put 'er there.
234
00:09:35,529 --> 00:09:37,662
No, thank you.
235
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,631
Right on, right on.
236
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:42,333
Okay, well, here's how I'd
like to start. Mom and Dad,
237
00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:44,461
why don't you come talk to
me first, and then, Sheldon,
238
00:09:44,463 --> 00:09:46,263
you and I have a little rap session.
239
00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:48,440
Folks?
240
00:09:53,013 --> 00:09:55,315
[QUIETLY]: Right on, right on.
241
00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,636
Feel free to read any of my comics.
242
00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:03,792
And you guys feel free
to sit on my beanbag!
243
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,484
40 cents? Outrageous.
244
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,331
ADULT SHELDON: As fate would have it,
245
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:16,568
the comic I picked
up was called X-Men.
246
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:18,903
Young mutants with
incredible powers
247
00:10:18,905 --> 00:10:21,306
who were feared and misunderstood
248
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:22,941
by the entire world.
249
00:10:22,943 --> 00:10:25,339
Hey, it's about me.
250
00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,753
Now, the thing you have to understand is
251
00:10:28,756 --> 00:10:30,737
Shelly is incredibly bright.
252
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:33,717
I mean, his IQ is right up
there with Albert Einstein
253
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,287
and that English wheelchair fella.
254
00:10:36,289 --> 00:10:38,237
- Cool.
- He's nine years old
255
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,276
and he's in high school, so you
can't judge him like other kids.
256
00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:42,626
- I hear ya.
- George,
257
00:10:42,629 --> 00:10:44,395
tell him about how he's always going
258
00:10:44,397 --> 00:10:47,365
on and on about subatomic
particles and such.
259
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,151
Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it.
260
00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:52,369
We're accustomed to
his quirks and oddities.
261
00:10:52,372 --> 00:10:56,674
But this whole "being
afraid of solid foods" thing,
262
00:10:56,676 --> 00:10:58,676
it's got us thrown.
263
00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:01,246
Okay. Let me just start by saying
264
00:11:01,248 --> 00:11:02,847
you came to the right place.
265
00:11:02,849 --> 00:11:05,511
Sheldon and I happen
to have a lot in common.
266
00:11:05,514 --> 00:11:07,452
I, too, was a special little boy.
267
00:11:07,454 --> 00:11:09,087
In the fourth grade, I was reading
268
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:10,355
at a seventh grade level.
269
00:11:10,357 --> 00:11:11,824
And I don't have to tell you where I was
270
00:11:11,826 --> 00:11:13,362
by the seventh grade.
271
00:11:15,715 --> 00:11:17,089
Tenth.
272
00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:23,636
I'm gonna give the beanbag a whirl.
273
00:11:26,963 --> 00:11:28,396
What are y'all watching?
274
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:29,698
Little Rascals.
275
00:11:32,214 --> 00:11:34,628
You know most of those
kids are dead, right?
276
00:11:34,631 --> 00:11:35,730
What?
277
00:11:35,733 --> 00:11:38,745
Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat.
278
00:11:38,748 --> 00:11:40,281
Even Petey the dog?
279
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,417
Oh, especially Petey the dog.
280
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,268
Thanks for making it depressing.
281
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,479
You're very welcome.
282
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:47,215
Y'all want to go get some ice cream?
283
00:11:47,218 --> 00:11:48,217
What about dinner?
284
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,394
What about it? Come on.
285
00:11:50,397 --> 00:11:52,630
Is ALF dead?
286
00:11:52,632 --> 00:11:55,573
No, but it's just a matter of time.
287
00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:58,169
You'd be surprised how many
children have food phobias.
288
00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,875
- Is that so?
- Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age,
289
00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:02,409
I was afraid of that weird skin
290
00:12:02,412 --> 00:12:03,753
- on top of puddin'.
- Really?
291
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,849
Me, too. You know, you put
a little Saran Wrap on...
292
00:12:05,852 --> 00:12:07,440
George.
293
00:12:09,731 --> 00:12:11,249
Sheldon?
294
00:12:11,251 --> 00:12:13,244
Where the hell did he go?
295
00:12:13,247 --> 00:12:14,786
Sheldon?
296
00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:16,287
Couldn't have gone far.
297
00:12:16,289 --> 00:12:17,589
Why not?
298
00:12:17,591 --> 00:12:19,457
Right on, right on.
299
00:12:19,459 --> 00:12:21,559
[LINE RINGING]
300
00:12:21,561 --> 00:12:23,228
I checked the bathroom, the stairs.
301
00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:24,403
He's not in the building.
302
00:12:24,406 --> 00:12:26,067
I'm worried. No one's answering at home.
303
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,622
Stay calm. We'll find him.
304
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:28,633
You know,
305
00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:29,778
when I was a kid...
306
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:31,145
Shut up.
307
00:12:31,148 --> 00:12:32,497
Well...
308
00:12:35,274 --> 00:12:37,927
ADULT SHELDON: It wasn't typical
for me to wander out into
309
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:41,517
the urban jungle on my own,
but I was on a mission.
310
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,814
I had gotten my first taste
of serialized superheroes,
311
00:12:45,817 --> 00:12:47,391
and I needed more.
312
00:12:50,464 --> 00:12:52,063
[BELL JINGLES]
313
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:58,502
Excuse me, do you have X-Men #137?
314
00:12:58,504 --> 00:13:01,238
I'd like to know what
happens next, please.
315
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,380
Back bin in the corner.
316
00:13:04,889 --> 00:13:06,889
What are you doing here?
317
00:13:06,892 --> 00:13:08,292
Oh, hello, Tam.
318
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:10,595
I thought you said comic
books are for children.
319
00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:12,749
I'm a complicated young man.
320
00:13:15,633 --> 00:13:17,533
I think we should call the police.
321
00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,690
We don't need the
police. We'll find him.
322
00:13:19,692 --> 00:13:21,133
This is all my fault.
323
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,771
He ran away because we
took him to a therapist.
324
00:13:23,774 --> 00:13:26,013
That's $15 we ain't getting back.
325
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,664
That's what you're worried about?
326
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:29,867
No. 'Course not.
327
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:34,146
And Sheldon's fine.
328
00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:35,915
You know what he's like.
329
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:37,451
Someone took him,
330
00:13:37,454 --> 00:13:39,654
[CHUCKLES]: I'm sure
they'll bring him right back.
331
00:13:43,415 --> 00:13:45,682
♪ ♪
332
00:13:50,623 --> 00:13:52,656
I'm enjoying this,
but I'm having trouble
333
00:13:52,658 --> 00:13:54,992
with the onomatopoeia.
334
00:13:54,994 --> 00:13:57,094
The what?
335
00:13:57,096 --> 00:13:58,662
The onomatopoeia.
336
00:13:58,664 --> 00:14:00,892
Words that imitate sounds.
337
00:14:00,895 --> 00:14:03,200
"Kthoom." "Snikt""
338
00:14:03,202 --> 00:14:04,635
"Bamf""
339
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:06,829
Writers shouldn't make up words.
340
00:14:06,832 --> 00:14:09,641
Somebody made up "onomatopoeia."
341
00:14:11,902 --> 00:14:14,678
You challenge me. I like that.
342
00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:25,088
Meemaw, are you gonna vemore?
343
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,823
Good Lord, no!
344
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,625
She's too old to have any more babies.
345
00:14:28,627 --> 00:14:30,861
Don't have to have 'em.
You live long enough,
346
00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:32,629
your hair and your
teeth start falling out,
347
00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:35,265
you start wetting the
bed, you get to be one.
348
00:14:35,267 --> 00:14:36,333
[LAUGHS] That's funny.
349
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,035
We're gonna have to put a diaper on you.
350
00:14:38,037 --> 00:14:40,337
You won't be laughing
when you're doing it.
351
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:41,865
I might be.
352
00:14:41,868 --> 00:14:44,854
[LAUGHTER]
353
00:14:44,857 --> 00:14:48,888
Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon,
who's smarter, me or Georgie?
354
00:14:48,891 --> 00:14:50,365
Me, of course.
355
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,500
Why you?
356
00:14:51,502 --> 00:14:53,101
My head's bigger.
357
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:54,770
It doesn't matter.
358
00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:57,539
Tonight is not about Sheldon.
359
00:14:57,541 --> 00:15:00,527
Yeah, right. Everything's
always about Sheldon.
360
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:01,777
Yeah. Most of the time,
361
00:15:01,779 --> 00:15:03,745
it's like we don't even exist.
362
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:07,472
I guess Sheldon does get
most of the attention.
363
00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:09,574
Maybe that's a good thing.
364
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,163
How?
365
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:13,321
Well, if it weren't for
him, your parents would be
366
00:15:13,323 --> 00:15:14,956
on your ass all the time.
367
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:18,026
Yeah. I guess I never thought
about it that way before.
368
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:21,464
You kidding me? Right now,
they would be nagging you
369
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,998
about cleaning your room
370
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,741
and doing your homework.
371
00:15:24,744 --> 00:15:28,167
Instead, you're sitting
in a parking lot,
372
00:15:28,170 --> 00:15:30,108
eating a Blizzard for dinner.
373
00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:32,673
- With cookie dough in it.
- Exactly.
374
00:15:32,676 --> 00:15:36,745
While Sheldon is stuck sitting
in some boring shrink's office.
375
00:15:36,747 --> 00:15:39,614
Mom told me they were
taking him for a haircut.
376
00:15:40,797 --> 00:15:42,363
Oh. Yeah.
377
00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:44,219
Right.
378
00:15:44,221 --> 00:15:48,256
Well, when he gets home,
say his hair looks good.
379
00:15:56,967 --> 00:15:59,601
♪ ♪
380
00:16:02,906 --> 00:16:04,506
What?
381
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:06,913
Nothing.
382
00:16:11,048 --> 00:16:13,782
♪ ♪
383
00:16:18,795 --> 00:16:20,355
You want one?
384
00:16:20,357 --> 00:16:22,257
No.
385
00:16:22,259 --> 00:16:24,259
Well...
386
00:16:24,261 --> 00:16:26,592
if you change your mind, help yourself.
387
00:16:28,899 --> 00:16:31,394
ADULT SHELDON: I didn't
have to read many comic books
388
00:16:31,397 --> 00:16:35,386
to understand that every
superhero had a weakness,
389
00:16:35,389 --> 00:16:37,311
something they had to overcome
390
00:16:37,314 --> 00:16:39,848
through an extraordinary act of courage.
391
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,417
For Cyclops, it was the loss of Jean Grey.
392
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,815
For Rogue, it was human touch.
393
00:16:46,817 --> 00:16:49,870
For me, it was food
that required chewing.
394
00:16:49,873 --> 00:16:53,339
So if I truly was a mutant,
I would have to do the same.
395
00:16:53,342 --> 00:16:55,423
♪ ♪
396
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:10,605
On this day, I would not be defeated.
397
00:17:12,549 --> 00:17:15,183
Because this was the day I became...
398
00:17:15,846 --> 00:17:19,414
The Chewer.
399
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:23,552
Just like that, I overcame
my fear of choking.
400
00:17:23,554 --> 00:17:26,388
All that was left was my fear of dogs,
401
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,623
birds, insects, germs,
402
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:30,392
hugging, button fly pants,
403
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:32,646
rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans,
404
00:17:32,649 --> 00:17:35,545
estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables,
405
00:17:35,548 --> 00:17:37,315
squeaky balloons, tinted windows,
406
00:17:37,318 --> 00:17:39,785
take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks,
407
00:17:39,788 --> 00:17:41,863
potbelly stoves, dust bunnies,
408
00:17:41,866 --> 00:17:44,233
that fuzz on peaches. Ugh.
409
00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:48,488
What I find interesting
is how many supervillains
410
00:17:48,491 --> 00:17:51,396
are scientists: Doctor Octopus,
411
00:17:51,399 --> 00:17:54,067
Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor,
412
00:17:54,069 --> 00:17:56,869
Green Goblin, the list goes on and on.
413
00:17:56,871 --> 00:17:58,071
So?
414
00:17:58,073 --> 00:18:00,240
So if the world doesn't respect me,
415
00:18:00,242 --> 00:18:01,743
I might change sides.
416
00:18:01,746 --> 00:18:03,543
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
417
00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:07,013
Uh-oh.
418
00:18:07,015 --> 00:18:08,395
Good luck.
419
00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,822
[SIGHS]
420
00:18:15,824 --> 00:18:18,535
ADULT SHELDON: I tried
to explain to my parents
421
00:18:18,538 --> 00:18:20,392
that a mutant named Cyclops,
422
00:18:20,395 --> 00:18:22,662
who shoots laser beams out of his eyes,
423
00:18:22,664 --> 00:18:24,664
helped me eat a licorice stick.
424
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,567
Went right over their heads.
425
00:18:26,595 --> 00:18:30,985
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
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