1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,433 ♫ George Michael's "Faith" ♫ 2 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:03,435 (tape rewinding) 3 00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:05,938 ♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪ 4 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,106 ♪ Baby ♪ 5 00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:10,075 ♪ I know you're asking me to stay ♪ 6 00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:12,479 ♪ Say please, please, please don't go away ♪ 7 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,963 ♪ You say I'm giving you the blues ♪ 8 00:00:15,964 --> 00:00:17,765 ♪ Maybe ♪ 9 00:00:17,766 --> 00:00:18,833 ♪ Huh! ♪ 10 00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:20,134 ♪ You mean ♪ 11 00:00:20,135 --> 00:00:21,402 ♪ Every word you say ♪ (popping loudly) 12 00:00:21,403 --> 00:00:22,770 ♪ Can't help but think ♪ 13 00:00:22,771 --> 00:00:23,971 ♪ Of yesterday ♪ 14 00:00:23,972 --> 00:00:25,940 ♪ And another who tied me down ♪ 15 00:00:25,941 --> 00:00:27,008 ♪ To lover boy rules... ♪ 16 00:00:27,009 --> 00:00:29,577 ADULT SHELDON: My father took pride in saying... 17 00:00:29,578 --> 00:00:31,879 that he ran our house like a tight ship. 18 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,382 The ship got a lot looser when 19 00:00:34,383 --> 00:00:37,051 my meemaw came over to babysit. (firecracker pops) 20 00:00:37,052 --> 00:00:40,588 I bet a nickel. 21 00:00:40,589 --> 00:00:42,623 Hang on there a minute, moon pie. 22 00:00:42,624 --> 00:00:44,459 I want to teach you somethin'. 23 00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,626 Look at your cards, 24 00:00:45,627 --> 00:00:47,462 and then look in the mirror. 25 00:00:47,463 --> 00:00:49,263 Hey, I'm smiling. 26 00:00:49,264 --> 00:00:50,298 (firecracker pops) Uh-huh. 27 00:00:50,299 --> 00:00:51,299 And what does that 28 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,401 tell me about your cards? 29 00:00:53,402 --> 00:00:54,769 That I like them? 30 00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:56,471 Attaboy. Now... 31 00:00:56,472 --> 00:00:58,272 look at my face. 32 00:00:58,273 --> 00:00:59,607 (firecracker pops) Tell me 33 00:00:59,608 --> 00:01:01,142 what you see. 34 00:01:01,143 --> 00:01:02,310 That you're old. 35 00:01:02,311 --> 00:01:04,545 It's a good thing I love you. 36 00:01:04,546 --> 00:01:06,849 (firecracker pops) I'm gonna look at my cards again. 37 00:01:08,884 --> 00:01:10,184 You're unhappy. 38 00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:11,719 Which means...? 39 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,287 You don't have good cards. 40 00:01:13,288 --> 00:01:14,490 Mm-hmm. (firecracker pops) 41 00:01:15,524 --> 00:01:16,758 So... 42 00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:19,393 I'm gonna see your nickel... 43 00:01:19,394 --> 00:01:21,796 and raise you a quarter. Quarter? 44 00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:23,397 You can fold. 45 00:01:23,398 --> 00:01:26,467 No. I have good cards; you have bad cards. 46 00:01:26,468 --> 00:01:27,902 I'm in. 47 00:01:27,903 --> 00:01:30,471 Nines and fives. Mm. 48 00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:32,740 That's too bad. 49 00:01:32,741 --> 00:01:34,909 Three queens. You lose! 50 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,511 (laughing) What? 51 00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:38,079 But you weren't happy. 52 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,381 I made youthink I was unhappy. But that's lying. 53 00:01:40,382 --> 00:01:42,817 You lied to your moon pie. 54 00:01:42,818 --> 00:01:44,853 I bluffed my moon pie. 55 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:49,390 Do people know about this? Sheldon, 56 00:01:49,391 --> 00:01:50,792 what's on a person's face 57 00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:53,561 is not always what's in their heart. 58 00:01:53,562 --> 00:01:55,296 Well, this changes everything. 59 00:01:55,297 --> 00:01:57,331 How do you know who to trust? 60 00:01:57,332 --> 00:01:58,499 You don't. 61 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,803 That's what makes life interesting. 62 00:02:01,804 --> 00:02:05,106 ADULT SHELDON: Meemaw liked to teach me things that kept me awake at night. 63 00:02:05,107 --> 00:02:06,440 MARY: Mom, we're home! 64 00:02:06,441 --> 00:02:08,142 In here! 65 00:02:08,143 --> 00:02:09,710 What's he doing up? 66 00:02:09,711 --> 00:02:11,012 Losin'. 67 00:02:11,013 --> 00:02:12,346 (firecracker pops) 68 00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:13,714 Hell is that? 69 00:02:13,715 --> 00:02:15,383 I sent Georgie on a beer run, 70 00:02:15,384 --> 00:02:17,618 and tipped him with firecrackers. 71 00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:18,820 Oh, Mom. 72 00:02:18,821 --> 00:02:20,421 (door opens) Was I supposed to stiff him? 73 00:02:20,422 --> 00:02:21,422 (door closes) 74 00:02:21,423 --> 00:02:24,860 I ate so much candy! 75 00:02:26,395 --> 00:02:28,629 Okay. 76 00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:30,431 They're all yours. 77 00:02:30,432 --> 00:02:32,066 (chuckles) 78 00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:33,634 (firecracker pops) 79 00:02:33,635 --> 00:02:36,404 ♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪ (groans) 80 00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:39,440 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am♪ 81 00:02:39,441 --> 00:02:42,210 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain♪ 82 00:02:42,211 --> 00:02:44,645 ♪ I bet I could be your hero♪ 83 00:02:44,646 --> 00:02:47,148 ♪ I am a mighty little man♪ 84 00:02:47,149 --> 00:02:50,586 ♪I am a mighty little man.♪ 85 00:02:55,253 --> 00:02:56,920 Sometimes people say to me, "Pastor Jeff, 86 00:02:56,921 --> 00:02:58,755 how do you know there's a God?" 87 00:02:58,756 --> 00:03:01,825 And I say, "It's simple math. 88 00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:04,294 God either exists or he doesn't." 89 00:03:04,295 --> 00:03:05,963 (chuckles) So let's be cynical. 90 00:03:05,964 --> 00:03:08,966 Worst-case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance. 91 00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:11,034 And I like those odds. 92 00:03:11,035 --> 00:03:12,603 That's wrong. 93 00:03:12,604 --> 00:03:14,705 Shelly, put your hand down. 94 00:03:14,706 --> 00:03:16,073 Sorry. Please continue. 95 00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:17,441 (chuckles) It's okay, Mary. 96 00:03:17,442 --> 00:03:19,676 I-It's Sheldon, right? 97 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,712 Yes, sir. Well, Sheldon, 98 00:03:21,713 --> 00:03:24,281 why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong. 99 00:03:24,282 --> 00:03:25,782 No. Okay. 100 00:03:25,783 --> 00:03:28,085 (chuckles) Let's give him a hand, everybody. 101 00:03:28,086 --> 00:03:30,922 Mm. What's happening? 102 00:03:37,328 --> 00:03:39,263 Shelly's gonna eat him alive. (chuckles) 103 00:03:39,264 --> 00:03:40,664 PASTOR JEFF: So... 104 00:03:40,665 --> 00:03:42,032 you were saying? 105 00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:45,202 You've confused possibilities with probabilities. 106 00:03:45,203 --> 00:03:46,937 According to your analogy, when I go home 107 00:03:46,938 --> 00:03:49,840 I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. 108 00:03:49,841 --> 00:03:52,175 In what universe is that 50-50? 109 00:03:52,176 --> 00:03:53,343 (congregation murmuring) 110 00:03:53,344 --> 00:03:54,811 PASTOR JEFF: So what do you think 111 00:03:54,812 --> 00:03:57,047 the odds are that God exists? 112 00:03:57,048 --> 00:03:58,715 I think they're zero. 113 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,584 I believe in science. 114 00:04:00,585 --> 00:04:01,752 (congregation ooh'ing) (murmuring) 115 00:04:01,753 --> 00:04:03,086 PASTOR JEFF: So you don't think 116 00:04:03,087 --> 00:04:05,822 science and religion can go hand in hand? 117 00:04:05,823 --> 00:04:08,592 Science is facts, religion is faith. 118 00:04:08,593 --> 00:04:10,460 I prefer facts. Mm. 119 00:04:10,461 --> 00:04:12,095 I understand that. 120 00:04:12,096 --> 00:04:13,764 Here's a cool fact for ya. 121 00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:15,432 A lot of famous scientists 122 00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:17,000 believed in God. 123 00:04:17,001 --> 00:04:18,502 Isaac Newton. 124 00:04:18,503 --> 00:04:19,836 Albert Einstein. 125 00:04:19,837 --> 00:04:21,939 Even Charles Darwin. 126 00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:23,674 (congregation ah'ing) 127 00:04:23,675 --> 00:04:27,044 So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution? 128 00:04:27,045 --> 00:04:28,612 Now you're gettin' it. 129 00:04:28,613 --> 00:04:30,280 Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody. 130 00:04:30,281 --> 00:04:32,482 What a good sport. Oh. 131 00:04:32,483 --> 00:04:34,518 (organ playing) 132 00:04:34,519 --> 00:04:36,954 ADULT SHELDON: But I wasn't a good sport. 133 00:04:36,955 --> 00:04:38,889 At that moment, I vowed to come back 134 00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:42,893 the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff. 135 00:04:42,894 --> 00:04:44,562 (knocking) 136 00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:54,304 Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper. 137 00:04:54,305 --> 00:04:55,772 Is Missy home? 138 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:58,343 Hello, Billy. No, she's at church. 139 00:04:59,477 --> 00:05:02,012 I brought her eggs from my chickens. 140 00:05:02,013 --> 00:05:03,914 I see that. 141 00:05:03,915 --> 00:05:06,951 You can boil them or scramble them. 142 00:05:08,019 --> 00:05:09,420 Okay. 143 00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:12,789 I like fried. 144 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:15,259 Okay. 145 00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,997 I don't like poached. 146 00:05:20,064 --> 00:05:21,799 Okay. 147 00:05:23,434 --> 00:05:25,436 Thank you for your time. 148 00:05:30,008 --> 00:05:31,476 Okay. 149 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,846 MARY: You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby? 150 00:05:35,847 --> 00:05:37,748 No. They're a gift. 151 00:05:37,749 --> 00:05:39,549 Sorry. 152 00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,251 He even wrote me a note. 153 00:05:41,252 --> 00:05:45,255 "Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy." 154 00:05:45,256 --> 00:05:46,990 GEORGE SR.: (calls) Mary, can you come in here? 155 00:05:46,991 --> 00:05:48,492 I'm cookin'. 156 00:05:48,493 --> 00:05:50,727 I really need you to come in here. 157 00:05:50,728 --> 00:05:52,597 What on earth? 158 00:05:54,165 --> 00:05:55,432 Uh-oh. 159 00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:56,600 What? 160 00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:57,934 Listen to this. 161 00:05:57,935 --> 00:06:00,103 "French philosopher, 162 00:06:00,104 --> 00:06:02,873 "mathematician and physicist, Blaise Pascal, 163 00:06:02,874 --> 00:06:06,376 "argued a rational person should believe God exists 164 00:06:06,377 --> 00:06:09,246 "because you have everything to gain if you're right, 165 00:06:09,247 --> 00:06:11,581 and nothing to lose if you're wrong." 166 00:06:11,582 --> 00:06:13,750 Sounds right. 167 00:06:13,751 --> 00:06:15,185 (footsteps approaching) 168 00:06:15,186 --> 00:06:16,553 MARY: Meemaw is coming over 169 00:06:16,554 --> 00:06:18,588 to watch you-- I gotta go. 170 00:06:18,589 --> 00:06:20,791 Where? Daddy's not feeling good. 171 00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:23,226 We're gonna go see a doctor. 172 00:06:23,227 --> 00:06:25,495 Is he okay? He's gonna be fine. 173 00:06:25,496 --> 00:06:26,763 You just sit right there. 174 00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:28,265 Meemaw's on her way over to cook you dinner. 175 00:06:28,266 --> 00:06:29,900 Can we come with you? 176 00:06:29,901 --> 00:06:32,269 No. Just stay right there, don't move. 177 00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:34,205 George, let's go. 178 00:06:45,131 --> 00:06:48,133 How long are we supposed to sit here? 179 00:06:48,134 --> 00:06:48,733 I don't know. 180 00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:49,935 She said don't move. 181 00:06:49,936 --> 00:06:52,572 She was very clear. 182 00:06:53,773 --> 00:06:55,807 Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom. 183 00:06:55,808 --> 00:06:57,310 (door opens) 184 00:06:58,344 --> 00:06:59,344 Don't worry! 185 00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:01,046 Meemaw's here! 186 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,515 Everything's under control! 187 00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:05,050 Oh. (chuckles) 188 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,985 We haven't had dinner yet. 189 00:07:06,986 --> 00:07:08,053 Really? 190 00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:10,222 (groans) 191 00:07:10,223 --> 00:07:12,625 I don't feel like cookin'. 192 00:07:16,696 --> 00:07:18,865 I think my husband's having a heart attack! 193 00:07:20,066 --> 00:07:22,234 NURSE: I need an RRT and a crash cart. 194 00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:24,603 Over here. 195 00:07:24,604 --> 00:07:27,205 Sir, are you having chest pains right now? 196 00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:28,173 Yeah, a little bit. 197 00:07:28,174 --> 00:07:31,042 Any numbness or pain in your arms? 198 00:07:31,043 --> 00:07:32,611 Maybe this one. 199 00:07:32,612 --> 00:07:33,678 Shortness of breath? 200 00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:34,679 Enough questions. 201 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,314 He's a fat, middle-aged man with chest pains. 202 00:07:36,315 --> 00:07:37,315 Do something! 203 00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:39,784 All right. Sorry about the fat, honey. 204 00:07:39,785 --> 00:07:41,853 You said you liked me this way. 205 00:07:41,854 --> 00:07:43,755 (grunts) 206 00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,590 Is Daddy gonna be okay? 207 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,592 Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have 208 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,761 little chest pains all the time. 209 00:07:49,762 --> 00:07:52,030 Didn't he die of a heart attack? 210 00:07:52,031 --> 00:07:54,634 Well, for insurance purposes, yes. 211 00:07:55,835 --> 00:07:57,235 (door opens) 212 00:07:57,236 --> 00:07:59,337 Hey. What's goin' on? 213 00:07:59,338 --> 00:08:01,106 Dad's in the hospital. 214 00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:03,408 What? Why's Dad in the hospital? 215 00:08:03,409 --> 00:08:04,809 He's gonna be fine. He had chest pains. 216 00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:06,478 He's gonna be fine. 217 00:08:06,479 --> 00:08:08,547 What are we doin'? Why aren't we going to the hospital? 218 00:08:08,548 --> 00:08:10,182 Nobody's goin' nowhere. 219 00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:11,850 We're just gonna stay calm, 220 00:08:11,851 --> 00:08:14,186 have a nice dinner, and wait for your mama to call 221 00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:15,720 and tell us what's what. 222 00:08:15,721 --> 00:08:17,990 I'm not hungry. 223 00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:23,195 What did you mean by "insurance purposes"? 224 00:08:23,196 --> 00:08:25,198 Just eat. 225 00:08:26,365 --> 00:08:28,334 (laughter on TV) 226 00:08:32,505 --> 00:08:35,674 What kind of Texan drinks pink wine? 227 00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:37,677 (phone rings) 228 00:08:40,947 --> 00:08:42,137 Hello. 229 00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:43,672 Hi, Mom. Kids okay? 230 00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:45,674 Yeah, they're fine. How's George? 231 00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:48,377 I don't know. They're running tests. 232 00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:51,714 Well, don't you worry about us. (chuckles) 233 00:08:51,715 --> 00:08:54,717 Everything's under control here. 234 00:08:54,718 --> 00:08:56,252 Okay. 235 00:08:56,253 --> 00:08:58,687 I'll call you when I know more. 236 00:08:58,688 --> 00:09:00,556 How you holdin' up? 237 00:09:00,557 --> 00:09:02,758 I guess I'm okay. 238 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,094 Well, George is gonna pull through this, honey. 239 00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:07,296 I guarantee it. 240 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,131 Thanks, Mom. 241 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,933 Thanks for bein' there. 242 00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,568 You bet. 243 00:09:12,569 --> 00:09:14,203 I'll call you later. 244 00:09:14,204 --> 00:09:15,571 Okay. 245 00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:16,840 Bye. 246 00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:20,342 What'd she say? 247 00:09:20,343 --> 00:09:23,345 The doctors are doin' some tests, but, dollars to donuts, 248 00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:26,382 your daddy's just got a bad case of gas. 249 00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:28,851 Y'all two go get ready for bed. 250 00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:30,419 I don't want to stay around here. 251 00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,855 I want to go to the hospital and see Dad. 252 00:09:32,856 --> 00:09:34,890 Well, I want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, 253 00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:36,859 but that ain't gonna happen either. 254 00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:38,794 This is stupid. 255 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,396 You know what's stupid? 256 00:09:40,397 --> 00:09:42,097 I got to drink pink wine! 257 00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,098 (door slams) 258 00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,566 Meemaw? 259 00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,768 What? 260 00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:47,437 Is Dad really okay? 261 00:09:48,471 --> 00:09:50,105 Yes. 262 00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:52,676 I hope you're not bluffing. 263 00:10:01,217 --> 00:10:03,552 You asleep? 264 00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:05,754 No. 265 00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:07,756 Me neither. 266 00:10:07,757 --> 00:10:10,894 Every time the phone rings, I get scared. 267 00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:14,630 Me, too. 268 00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:16,832 (knocking) 269 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,201 I'm goin' to see Dad. You guys want to come? 270 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:22,204 How? Meemaw said we have to stay here. 271 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,174 You want to go or not? 272 00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:28,345 (♪♪♪) 273 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,383 Shh. 274 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,352 Shh. 275 00:10:36,353 --> 00:10:38,053 Who do I shush? 276 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,023 Shh! Shh! 277 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:45,462 (snores softly) 278 00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:59,009 (keys jangle) 279 00:11:01,611 --> 00:11:03,245 (quietly) What are you doing? 280 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,080 I'm driving to the hospital. 281 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,516 You can come with me or stay here-- up to you. 282 00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:09,651 I'm comin'. 283 00:11:09,652 --> 00:11:11,086 Sheldon? 284 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,087 You're 14. 285 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,856 You don't know how to drive. 286 00:11:13,857 --> 00:11:15,491 I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. 287 00:11:15,492 --> 00:11:16,925 It's the same thing. 288 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,361 But you sat on the farmer's lap. 289 00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:20,596 Then stay here. 290 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,632 Come on, Missy. 291 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,502 (snores loudly) 292 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,638 (engine starts) 293 00:11:30,473 --> 00:11:33,342 (click) ♪ And I whine, I'm after you ♪ 294 00:11:33,343 --> 00:11:35,010 What are you doin'? 295 00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,812 Travelin' music. 296 00:11:36,813 --> 00:11:38,180 SHELDON: Ugh. 297 00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:39,782 I'm coming with you. 298 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,583 Why are you wearin' my helmet? 299 00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:44,520 I don't expect this to end well. 300 00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:45,888 And the pillows? 301 00:11:45,889 --> 00:11:47,257 Same answer. 302 00:11:48,258 --> 00:11:50,259 Turn it off. I've got to concentrate. 303 00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:51,927 Aw. 304 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,662 (music stops) Okay, 305 00:11:53,663 --> 00:11:55,330 seat belts, everybody. 306 00:11:55,331 --> 00:11:57,499 Please drive slowly. 307 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,601 Relax. I know what I'm doin'. 308 00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:01,470 Whoa! Whoa! 309 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,072 ADULT SHELDON: I've often been asked 310 00:12:03,073 --> 00:12:05,240 why I never learned to drive a car. 311 00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:07,843 This night... 312 00:12:07,844 --> 00:12:10,212 is your answer. 313 00:12:10,213 --> 00:12:11,547 Please slow down. 314 00:12:11,548 --> 00:12:13,215 I'm goin' eight miles an hour. 315 00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:14,750 A cow just passed us. 316 00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:17,686 Do you know how to get to the hospital? Yeah. 317 00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:19,688 It's right across the street from the Dairy Queen. 318 00:12:19,689 --> 00:12:21,223 Which Dairy Queen? 319 00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:22,691 What are you talkin' about? 320 00:12:22,692 --> 00:12:23,759 There's two. 321 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:24,993 Really? 322 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:25,994 You're gonna hit it! 323 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,062 Which is the one Mom takes us to? 324 00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,164 You're gonna hit it! 325 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:33,502 Ooh, you're in trouble now! 326 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,505 (phone ringing) 327 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,627 Yeah? 328 00:12:58,628 --> 00:13:00,929 What took you so long to answer? 329 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:03,165 Powdering my nose. What's it to ya? 330 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:06,401 Sorry I asked. Just wanted to give you an update. 331 00:13:06,402 --> 00:13:08,770 Y... What's goin' on? 332 00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:10,439 They want to run some more tests. 333 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,541 They're gonna hold him overnight. 334 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,344 Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's nothin' to worry about. 335 00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,179 That's just precautionary. 336 00:13:17,180 --> 00:13:18,981 How are the kids? 337 00:13:18,982 --> 00:13:20,949 Oh. (chuckles) They were a little worried, 338 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:23,285 but I handled it. 339 00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:24,520 They sleepin'? 340 00:13:24,521 --> 00:13:26,922 Um... 341 00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,390 Yeah, yeah. 342 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,125 You bet. 343 00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,994 Thanks again for helpin'. 344 00:13:31,995 --> 00:13:33,395 Oh, hey, 345 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,730 these are my grandchildren. 346 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,732 They are my blood. 347 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,467 Okay. I better go. 348 00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:41,271 Okay. We'll talk later. 349 00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:45,642 (exhales) 350 00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,585 Son of a bitch. 351 00:13:57,954 --> 00:14:00,189 I hate those kids. 352 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:03,559 (♪♪♪) 353 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,661 MISSY: Just admit it, we're lost. 354 00:14:05,662 --> 00:14:07,229 We're not lost. 355 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,331 Well, I sure don't see a hospital anywhere. 356 00:14:09,332 --> 00:14:11,934 Why don't we ask somebody for directions? 357 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,170 Because we're children in a car, genius. 358 00:14:15,371 --> 00:14:16,805 Dang it! 359 00:14:16,806 --> 00:14:18,674 Are you aiming for them? 360 00:14:18,675 --> 00:14:20,676 Everybody just shut up. I got this. 361 00:14:20,677 --> 00:14:23,512 (siren wailing) 362 00:14:23,513 --> 00:14:26,882 Oh, no. We're going to jail. 363 00:14:26,883 --> 00:14:28,283 Georgie's going to jail. 364 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,885 I'm saying I was kidnapped. 365 00:14:29,886 --> 00:14:31,420 SHELDON: That's a good plan. 366 00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:33,188 YouandI were kidnapped. 367 00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:35,591 If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail. 368 00:14:35,592 --> 00:14:37,794 Oh, you better pull over. 369 00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:44,833 GEORGE JR.: Oh, thank God. 370 00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,436 Well, don't just sit there... follow it. Why? 371 00:14:47,437 --> 00:14:49,838 It's an ambulance... it's going to the hospital. 372 00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:52,108 Hang on. 373 00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:57,546 MISSY:How about I put the radio on real low? 374 00:14:57,547 --> 00:14:59,182 GEORGE JR.: Shut up. 375 00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:01,550 Mary. 376 00:15:01,551 --> 00:15:02,684 Mom! 377 00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:04,586 Where are they? Where's who? 378 00:15:04,587 --> 00:15:06,889 More importantly... 379 00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:11,593 ...how is George? SHELDON: Mom! 380 00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:14,096 Ah. There they are! Hey. Oh. 381 00:15:14,097 --> 00:15:15,664 MEEMAW: Ha! I lost the little rascals 382 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,499 in the... hall. 383 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,268 I want to see Dad. 384 00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:20,335 Me, too. Me, too. 385 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,670 The doctors are with him now. 386 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,005 I'll take you in a bit. 387 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,239 Why are they here? 388 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,241 I think it's obvious. 389 00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:28,010 They love their daddy. 390 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:31,014 No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed? 391 00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:37,919 Well, nobody could sleep. 392 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,623 I thought it was the right thing. 393 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,425 Good bluff. 394 00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:45,360 Shh. 395 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,628 Okay, thank you. 396 00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:48,497 You all need anything? You hungry? 397 00:15:48,498 --> 00:15:49,831 No. No, thank you. 398 00:15:49,832 --> 00:15:51,833 Okay, everybody sit tight. 399 00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,836 I'm gonna go check on your dad. 400 00:15:55,672 --> 00:15:56,939 Georgie. 401 00:15:58,007 --> 00:15:59,841 Give me my damn keys. 402 00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:02,344 Oh, yeah. Here. 403 00:16:02,345 --> 00:16:04,347 Thank you. 404 00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:07,516 How did I beat you here? 405 00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:09,551 We kept hitting garbage cans. 406 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,886 Oh, God. 407 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,021 I need to wash my hands. 408 00:16:13,022 --> 00:16:15,791 There are germs here that can kill you. Hold up. 409 00:16:15,792 --> 00:16:18,627 Now, y'all like it when your meemaw babysits. 410 00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:21,463 Poker, candy, firecrackers. 411 00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:23,098 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 412 00:16:23,099 --> 00:16:25,133 Well, if your mother ever finds out... 413 00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:26,935 what you did tonight, 414 00:16:26,936 --> 00:16:29,171 that is never gonna happen again. 415 00:16:29,172 --> 00:16:31,173 I can't lie to my mother. 416 00:16:31,174 --> 00:16:33,943 Sure you can. Believe in yourself! 417 00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:43,219 (monitor beeping steadily) 418 00:16:45,054 --> 00:16:46,955 (labored breathing) 419 00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:48,891 (amplified heartbeat) 420 00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:53,162 (rapid beeping) 421 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,634 (weak exhale) 422 00:17:00,837 --> 00:17:02,638 (amplified, rapid heartbeat) 423 00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:09,045 (pants quietly) 424 00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,701 (♪♪♪) 425 00:17:42,512 --> 00:17:44,679 ADULT SHELDON: Despite what it looks like, 426 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,848 I didn't pray to God that night. 427 00:17:46,849 --> 00:17:49,017 I prayed to Blaise Pascal. 428 00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:50,585 My thinking was, 429 00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:53,555 if he was right about the existence of God, 430 00:17:53,556 --> 00:17:55,690 then he could pass along my request... 431 00:17:55,691 --> 00:17:58,059 for my dad to get better. 432 00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:59,995 If he was wrong... 433 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,296 well... 434 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:04,934 in this moment, I needed him to be right. 435 00:18:10,072 --> 00:18:12,040 What's taking so long? 436 00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:13,175 Shh. 437 00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,410 Keep your voice down, car thief. 438 00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:17,879 I didn't steal your car, I just borrowed it. 439 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,949 You're gonna need to make bail someday. 440 00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:24,352 Do not come to me. 441 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,554 MARY: Good news! 442 00:18:25,555 --> 00:18:27,055 Your daddy's gonna be fine. 443 00:18:27,056 --> 00:18:28,490 Should be home in a day or two. Oh! 444 00:18:28,491 --> 00:18:29,991 And was it a heart attack? 445 00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:31,461 Minor. No permanent damage. 446 00:18:32,425 --> 00:18:34,694 Oh! That's wonderful! 447 00:18:34,695 --> 00:18:36,430 Our prayers have been answered. 448 00:18:37,911 --> 00:18:38,945 Come on, everybody, 449 00:18:38,946 --> 00:18:41,047 let's say hello to your old dad. 450 00:18:41,048 --> 00:18:43,282 (♪♪♪) 451 00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:44,550 Come on. 452 00:18:44,551 --> 00:18:46,085 ADULT SHELDON: For a brief moment, 453 00:18:46,086 --> 00:18:49,922 I was filled with the healing power of faith. 454 00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:52,658 Then the next day, we all got violently ill 455 00:18:52,659 --> 00:18:56,029 from Billy Sparks' eggs, and I was over it. 456 00:18:57,783 --> 00:19:00,318 I thought I'd talk this morning about how it all began. 457 00:19:00,319 --> 00:19:04,121 Now, everybody knows how, on the first day of creation, 458 00:19:04,122 --> 00:19:06,290 God said, "Let there be light." 459 00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:08,292 And there was light. 460 00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:11,495 And when God saw that light, he knew it was good. 461 00:19:11,496 --> 00:19:12,563 (congregation murmuring) 462 00:19:12,564 --> 00:19:14,365 Oh, here we go. 463 00:19:14,366 --> 00:19:16,000 Yes, Sheldon. 464 00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:19,337 You said he didn't create the sun until day four. 465 00:19:19,338 --> 00:19:20,471 Yeah. 466 00:19:20,472 --> 00:19:22,840 So how could there be light the first three days? 467 00:19:22,841 --> 00:19:24,275 God is light. 468 00:19:24,276 --> 00:19:26,245 So God's a photon? 469 00:19:28,313 --> 00:19:30,781 God's what made photons possible. 470 00:19:30,782 --> 00:19:32,650 And what day did he do that? 471 00:19:32,651 --> 00:19:34,252 I would think day one. 472 00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:37,221 If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here. 473 00:19:37,222 --> 00:19:39,090 That's a terrible thing to say. 474 00:19:39,091 --> 00:19:41,125 ...because the first day had just begun. 475 00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:42,760 So, before the Big Bang? 476 00:19:42,761 --> 00:19:44,161 There was no Big Bang. 477 00:19:44,162 --> 00:19:45,696 There was only the Word. 478 00:19:45,697 --> 00:19:47,565 Was the word "kaboom"? 479 00:19:47,566 --> 00:19:48,799 Okay, do it. 480 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:49,967 (grunts) 481 00:19:49,968 --> 00:19:51,168 We gotta go. 482 00:19:51,169 --> 00:19:52,470 (grunting) 483 00:19:52,471 --> 00:19:53,571 MISSY: What's happening? 484 00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:55,207 Is it over? Y-Yes.