1
00:00:00,735 --> 00:00:02,100
♪♪♪
2
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:05,704
(birds chirp)
- charlie.
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,106
(footsteps thud)
hey, charlie!
4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,841
(running footsteps thud)
charlie?
5
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,410
Hey, charlie, stop!
6
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,178
Charlie, stop!
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,146
(ominous music)
8
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,948
Charlie!
9
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,717
(footfalls thud)
10
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,453
Charlie?
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,824
- She's watching you.
12
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,894
- Who?
(music crescendos)
13
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,330
♪♪♪
14
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,165
- Don't fuck this up, kate.
15
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,003
- (startles awake)
marlene podeski?!
16
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,170
(thunder rolls)
17
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,641
♪♪♪
18
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,177
(car rumbles)
19
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,180
(tires crunch on gravel)
20
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,585
(car rumbles to a halt)
- okay.
21
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,288
- This is gonna be the weirdest
bachelorette party in history.
22
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,223
- Yep, big time.
23
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,191
What do you say we have
one last moment of zen
24
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,227
Before this shit show
takes liftoff?
25
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,229
- Mm.
- Down there.
26
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,264
(sighs deeply)
27
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:10,569
- Yes! Seat massager works!
- Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,504
- Oh!
- No talking.
29
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,906
(both inhale
and long relaxed exhales)
30
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,244
- You think if we sit here
long enough we'll climax?
31
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,146
(massager whirs)
32
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,981
- What are they doing in there?
33
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,583
- Oh fuck, they're staring.
34
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,085
- How long do you think we can
do this before it gets weird?
35
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,653
- I think that ship has sailed.
36
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,388
- (sighs)
37
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,991
- Mm-hmm.
38
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,393
(seatbelts click,
engine shuts off)
39
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,428
- Hey, bitches, you're late!
40
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,096
- Aah!
- Sorry.
41
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:39,798
- Ladies, are you ready
for the best weekend
42
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,533
Of your gorgeous lives?
- Well...
43
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,568
- Sure.
- Yes! (giggles)
44
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,403
- When's the wine tour?
- Yeah!
45
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,606
- Oh! I said we were going
to wine country,
46
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,308
Not on a wine tour.
47
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,076
As we have two preggos,
yourself being one, sloane,
48
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,879
And our beautiful bride-to-be,
49
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,247
This will be a completely dry
bachelorette.
50
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,883
- Oh, fuck me.
51
00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,518
- Oh, no, no, no,
but don't you worry,
52
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,420
In the absence of mind-altering
substances,
53
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,889
I thought we could get "high"
on a night of frights.
54
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,223
Sloane: What?!
- Yeah!
55
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,225
- What the hell does
that even mean, val?
56
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,161
- Val, you did book
a stripper, right?
57
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,963
- I did you one better,
girlfriend.
58
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,098
I booked us a haunted house!
(crow caws)
59
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,634
- What?!
Sloane: Oh, come on.
- Why?
60
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,569
- This place is advertised
61
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,304
As a bona fide house
of horrors!
62
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,640
Apparently one person got so
scared they shit their pants,
63
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,442
According to the airbnb
reviews.
64
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,512
- Yeah... I don't mean to be
this chick,
65
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,381
But this is not what
we signed up for, jenny.
66
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,316
- Yeah, I'm gonna head,
I've got a mountain of work,
67
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:33,118
And a bitch trying
to steal it from me,
68
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,720
Plus I don't fuck with ghosts.
69
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,655
- Yeah, totally, and also,
I don't...
70
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,756
Wanna be here.
- Sorry.
71
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,259
- No!
72
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,461
You are not leaving.
None of you!
73
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,664
Did I want to spend my
bachelorette
74
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,400
At some stupid fake haunted
house? No, I did not!
75
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,902
That was a weird choice, val.
Very weird.
76
00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:53,071
But we are here,
and I need this.
77
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,340
So we are going to have fun,
god dammit!
78
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,308
Anybody got any more problems?
79
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,280
I didn't think so.
80
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,615
- Alrighty!
And with that...
81
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,485
Let's get this party started,
ghoul gals!
82
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,286
- You got any good snacks
in there at least?
83
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,355
- You bet, I've got a dozen
devilled eggs
84
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,557
With your name on them!
Kate: Yeah, okay.
85
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,893
(screen door creaks open)
- dude, are you okay?
86
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,095
- Yeah, yeah, of course,
it's just um...
87
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,163
You don't think there's like,
any real ghosts in there right,
88
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,899
'cause ghosts aren't real.
Any five-year-old knows that.
89
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,700
Well, most. (laughs)
I did find charlie
90
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,502
In a grave last night.
- What?!
91
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,104
- Yeah, he was um,
92
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,773
He said he was talking
to marlene's ghost.
93
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,407
He wanted to be with her.
94
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,376
And-and if ghosts were real,
then I would be worried
95
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,378
That maybe marlene was haunting
my family, but um,
96
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,347
Ghosts aren't real, so I have
nothing to worry about, right?
97
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,115
- Um, mm--
98
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,683
Val: (loud shrill scream)
99
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,988
The kitchen's adorable!
100
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,356
(laughs)
(screen door creaks shut)
101
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,193
- (readying exhale)
102
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,264
- Hmm.
(floorboards creak)
103
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,065
- There's no dick decorations,
val?
104
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,934
- Yeah, honestly, a couple
dicks wouldn't hurt.
105
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,336
- Oh, I'm sorry jenny, I didn't
think they were very on-theme.
106
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,171
While dicks can be scary,
107
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,073
They're not haunted-house
scary.
108
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,075
- Well, it's a good thing
I brought my own dick straw.
109
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,044
Hmm?
- Aaah! Oh!
110
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,815
- Boo.
- Jesus fuck!
111
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,284
- Okay, hi, I'm kathy, welcome,
welcome, gather round.
112
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,352
Uh, welcome to the farmhouse.
113
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,355
- Hi kathy, I'm valerie.
I made the booking.
114
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,157
- Right, sardinski?
- It's actually szalinsky.
115
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,659
- Yeah, your credit card
didn't go through.
116
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,828
Wouldn't even take the damage
deposit, it was just like,
117
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,296
Decline, decline, decline.
118
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,331
Anyway, we can sidebar
about it later.
119
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,601
Okay, ladies, welcome
to the farmhouse.
120
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,771
Who haunts this house, you ask?
Well, as the uh, story goes,
121
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,673
There was a woman,
she disappeared,
122
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,474
She was running away
from her family,
123
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,343
You know, her two kids,
you know the type.
124
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,445
And well, her problems
followed her here.
125
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,781
And so did her kids,
who murdered her.
126
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,716
Uh, right here,
in this very house.
127
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,918
- Yeah, I could see alice
doing that.
- Mm-hmm.
128
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,787
Kathy: Now she haunts
the house, and uh,
129
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,755
That's how it goes, boo,
that kind of thing.
130
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,423
- What the fuck?!
- Okay, great,
131
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,726
So you are getting package b,
132
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,661
So that means dinner
is at six o'clock,
133
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,430
And there is a psychic
reading included.
134
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,499
- (gasps) can we do
the psychic now?
135
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,934
- Ooh! Who's the psychic?
136
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,435
(ominous music)
137
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,608
- (scoffs)
- do me first!
138
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,610
Oh, I want to go first!
139
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,478
(excited laugh)
- ah-hmm...
140
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,549
Yeah, there's nothin'.
I'm sorry, it's black.
141
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,217
- Nothing?
142
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,752
- Yeah, there's nothing
in here, not a damn thing.
143
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,420
- Do you think it's the butt
getting in the way?
144
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,356
- I mean, it's possible.
- Hmm.
145
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,591
- There-oh!
146
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,893
I'm just getting some
interfer--
147
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,428
Hmm! (clears her throat)
148
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,165
Getting some interference here.
Hmm...
149
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,465
Hmm...
- Oh. (laughs)
150
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,503
- You!
- Only good stuff, okay?
151
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,638
- Shhh!
152
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,441
Oh...
153
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,577
You've suffered great loss.
154
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,446
There's death all around you.
155
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,448
There's darkness ahead.
156
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,617
Darkness behind.
157
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,454
I'm so sorry, dear.
158
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,691
(sad exhale)
159
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,994
- Jesus christ.
- Okay, weird.
160
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,864
- (clears throat) all right,
who else wants a reading?
161
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,532
All: Nah, we're good. No!
We're good.
162
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,334
- Actually, I think I hear
my phone.
163
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,336
Gena: Yeah.
Val: Do me again.
164
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,372
- Lionel said that?
165
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,675
- Yeah, he said
I'm addicted to rage.
166
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,743
And that while he was
in cochrane without me
167
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,613
Was the happiest he's been
in a really, really long time.
168
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,748
- Jesus.
- I don't know.
169
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,750
What he said really hit me.
170
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,753
Maybe I need to make some
changes with my anger.
171
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,689
- Stop it, look, this is
the woman he married.
172
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,391
You're a firecracker.
It's who you are, it's great!
173
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,059
- Yeah, I mean, I used
to think that, too, but...
174
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,963
I don't know anymore.
175
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,364
- Anne! This guy knows.
Okay?
176
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,499
- (small laugh)
177
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,569
- How's it going
with the crazy aunt?
178
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,571
Is she still fighting
for junior?
179
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,573
- Yep, she sure is,
not givin' up.
180
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,208
You know, ah, I don't know,
181
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,843
When it comes to cassandra,
182
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,712
I feel like maybe I'm not
doing the right thing.
183
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,480
- Of course you're doing
the right thing.
184
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,615
His mom specifically left
him to you.
185
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,917
- She did, yeah, but would
she still do that if she knew
186
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,853
Her sister wanted him?
- That doesn't matter.
187
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,055
- Doesn't it matter? He's got
history with this woman.
188
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,024
- Yeah, and you're building
history with him.
189
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,827
I mean, what matters
is that you want him.
190
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,529
- I do, yeah.
191
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,999
But imagine like, you inherited
a dead woman's kid,
192
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,734
And she was like, following you
around being like,
193
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,369
"don't fuck this up!"
194
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,737
And all you're doing
is fucking this up
195
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,605
Like, left, right, centre.
196
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,240
- I thought you didn't
believe in ghosts.
197
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,774
- I don't-- oh!
(door creaks and slams)
198
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,578
(stunned huff)
199
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,182
Gena: Hey, val, thanks
for planning all this.
200
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,184
You know, I probably
should've done it, but...
201
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,086
I didn't know what
to fuckin' do.
202
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,823
- Not a problem,
happy to do all the work
203
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,958
For none of the credit.
- Honestly, val,
204
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,760
I have no idea why
I'm the maid of honour.
205
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,030
We're like bitchy work friends.
You know?
206
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,331
I didn't even invite jenny
to my wedding.
207
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,367
And I could have,
I just didn't want to.
208
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,168
You know, there's always
a crisis,
209
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,171
There's always an issue.
210
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,306
Being her friend is just...
211
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,775
It's so exhausting.
212
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:04,382
♪♪♪
213
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,919
- Okay, yeah, this place
is a nightmare.
214
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,255
I'm not sleeping here.
- What are even doing here?
215
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,390
I mean, are we really that
self-centered lunatic's
216
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:16,427
Closest friends?
If we are, that's really sad--
217
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,962
- Oh no, jenny, wait!
- (gasps)
218
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,964
(both scream)
- holy fuck!
219
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,666
- Is this rigged?
220
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,002
(rips)
arghh!
221
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,937
- For the record,
I didn't shit my pants.
222
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,607
♪♪♪
223
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,477
(footsteps thud,
door creaks and slams)
224
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,611
(springs squeak)
225
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,948
(straw rustles)
226
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,650
(quiet sob)
227
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,622
(inhales deeply)
228
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,625
(slow exhale)
229
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,628
(phone buzzes)
230
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,033
- Paul, please,
231
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,769
I told you to stop calling me,
232
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,704
I'm mad at you right now,
don't push me.
233
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,974
- Okay, I'm sorry.
I-I hear you.
234
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,376
Thing is, I don't really
understand you.
235
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,312
- I took your advice, right?
I opened up to nina,
236
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,515
She immediately stabbed me
in the back.
237
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,816
I knew I shouldn't have
told her,
238
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,718
I should have trusted my gut.
- But you know you needed
239
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,653
To tell people at work
sooner or later,
240
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,456
And I bet you they are all
over the moon for you.
241
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,126
- I don't work in
an ultrasound lab.
242
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,928
Babies are not always welcome
news in the upper echelons
243
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,398
Of the corporate world, paul,
if you can comprehend that.
244
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,800
- Oh, wow.
Uh, okay, then.
245
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,902
- I'm gonna have this baby
my way, understand?
246
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,339
I don't need a total re-brand
just because I'm pregnant.
247
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,075
- Your life is going
to change.
248
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,810
This is just the tip
of the iceberg.
249
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,745
- You know what,
I think we're good here.
250
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,014
That's gonna be it, paul.
251
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,682
(taps to end call)
252
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,685
(phone thuds)
253
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,422
(high-pitched laughter plays)
254
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,791
(door slams) nuh-uh!
255
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,463
(thunder rolls)
256
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,398
(rain patters)
257
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,903
♪♪♪
258
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,671
(ominous creaking)
- (sighs)
259
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,378
- Okay, I realize
this isn't ideal,
260
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,980
But can we do some normal
261
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,383
Bachelorette stuff
like games,
262
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,052
Or would that like,
kill you guys?
263
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,990
If you can even bother
to get off your phones?
264
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,692
(light tap)
- hmm?
265
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,794
Oh, I'm sorry,
I'm just drownin' in work.
266
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,429
- Whatever, it's rude.
- Oh, come on.
267
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,098
(scoffs)
268
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,866
- Okay, let's play games.
269
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,701
Of course we're gonna play
games, let's sit.
270
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,703
- (pleased laugh)
271
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,306
- Now, what game should
we play?
272
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,941
- Oh, okay, I got it.
273
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,878
How about everyone shares
their favourite memory
274
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,013
Of the bride-to-be?
- (giggles)
275
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:52,016
- But how is that a game?
Like, there's no winning.
276
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,019
- Could you just go with it?
277
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,688
(nervous tapping)
278
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,857
- Well, don't all go at once.
279
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,693
- (snaps fingers) when we went
to the cottage and did lsd.
280
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,528
All: (laugh)
281
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,530
- I was never at a cottage
with you guys.
282
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,899
- You were--you were not.
Sorry, shit.
283
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,800
- Oh, wait! I got it.
284
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,237
Remember our mountain weekend
with tomato and the hogtie?
285
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,305
(laughs)
that was crazy!
286
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,740
- What?
287
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,309
- Oh god, you weren't there,
I'm so sorry.
288
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,977
- Oh, the retreat.
289
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,913
When I waxed ian's eyebrows--
290
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,382
- She wasn't there for that,
um, yeah.
291
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,551
- Anyw--gena,
this is your idea.
292
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,919
(scoffs) I mean...
293
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,921
- What you got?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, um...
294
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,856
(clicks teeth) oh...
295
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,657
- Maybe somethin'
at the office, there.
296
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,326
- Yeah, I...
- Wow.
297
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,829
It's as if none of you
have any memory of me at all.
298
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,134
- Oh, no, jenny, it's okay.
299
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,769
We were just being
silly-willies.
300
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,539
- No, it's not okay.
301
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,140
I know none of you like me,
302
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,376
And don't even wanna be here.
- Okay jenny,
303
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,810
These are just your pregnancy
hormones talking,
304
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,678
We wanna be here.
- No.
305
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,181
I literally heard you earlier.
306
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:59,551
And it's not the hormones,
because I don't have a baby.
307
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,219
I had a miscarriage,
308
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,853
And you guys would probably
already know that
309
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,289
If you knew anything about me!
310
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:06,891
- Oh, my.
311
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,961
Jenny, wait!
312
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,830
(doorbell rings)
313
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,865
(ominous music)
314
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,666
(door opens,
music crescendos)
315
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,802
(rain patters)
why, hello, there.
316
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,438
- Ma'am, thank you
for answering the door.
317
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,873
My uh, car broke down
after I hit a possum.
318
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,843
Could I use your phone?
319
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,580
- (gasps) ah, yes!
The lone driver.
320
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,515
Package b!
(chuckles)
321
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,450
Of course you can use my phone.
322
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,718
My passcode is 6-9-6-9.
323
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,790
- Thank you.
324
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,858
(rain patters)
325
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,693
(door creaks shut)
326
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,930
- Fuck.
- Yeah. Um...
327
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,165
(emergency alert blares)
- what the hell?
328
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,703
(sloane reads) "dangerous
suspect on the loose in
the area."
329
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,138
What the hell?
330
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,073
- (reads) "suspect may be armed
and has a history
331
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,876
Of breaking and entering,
and domestic assault."
332
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,778
Jesus!
333
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,881
- Hey, um,
whose car is that?
334
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,316
(loud thud)
all: Shit! Oh my god! God!
335
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,351
- Jesus, this woman,
I swear to god!
336
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,787
(knocking, muffled talking)
337
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,956
- We can't hear you!
338
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,091
(thuds)
339
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,994
(sighs)
340
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:18,930
- Okay. Look,
I hate to tell you this,
341
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,865
But I just got off a call
with derek,
342
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,968
My usual lone driver--
- I'm sorry, lone driver?
343
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,370
- Yeah, yeah, he uh, shows up,
chases you around
344
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,439
From room to room, makes you
think your life's in danger,
345
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,275
Falls out a window,
and he's on his way.
346
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,244
But um, well, he had to cancel
on account of the storm.
347
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,912
- Yeah, sure.
348
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,681
- But he was part of
the package I paid for.
349
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,382
- It doesn't sound like you
paid for anything, there, val.
350
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:39,918
- Gena, zip it.
351
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,086
- I know, val, you "paid"
for package b,
352
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,888
But uh, it's not gonna happen.
353
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,857
If you want to change
to package a,
354
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,593
Uh, I'll need about 20 minutes
to whip up some pentagrams.
355
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,061
- No thanks, we're good.
356
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,664
- Come on, kathy,
quit pulling our legs.
357
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,765
Okay! He's already here.
358
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,201
I just let him in. Ooh!
359
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,903
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, no, that's uh...
360
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,905
That's not possible.
- Well, I did.
361
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,874
- Wait, sorry, val,
you let someone in here?
362
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,710
- That's right, a man.
- You let a stranger into
the hou--
363
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,012
That is recklessly dangerous.
- Right, yeah,
364
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,014
Says the woman who rigged this
house like macaulay culkin.
365
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,883
Are you telling me
he's in this house right now?
366
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,751
- Aah! I did, yeah.
367
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,020
- Okay, hold on, val,
what does the guy look like?
368
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,089
- Oh, I don't know, five-ten,
blue eyes, blond hair.
369
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,558
- Oh, you mean the exact
same description...
370
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,293
As the alert, val!
371
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,128
Kate: The suspect? Okay, oh--
- what the fuck?!
372
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,697
- He's in here?
373
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,231
- I thought he was part
of package b!
374
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,000
All: (screaming) oh shit!
Oh! No!
375
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,902
- I've killed us all,
all my best friends.
376
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,904
All my best friends,
I'm gonna die with them!
377
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,972
- Call 911, 911, just call 911.
- Yeah, yeah.
378
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,008
Fuck, shit! There's no signal!
(jenny screams)
379
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,110
All: (screaming) shit!
Oh my god! Oh! Jenny!
380
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,045
Gena: Jenny? Where is she?
Where is she?
381
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:44,849
- There was this spooky clown,
and the lights went out!
382
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,684
- It doesn't matter, there's
a stranger in the house!
383
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,553
- What?!
- I've been looking for you.
384
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,054
- Oh shit!
- (screams)
385
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,723
- No! Don't touch her!
386
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,091
(man cries out,
body thuds on stairs)
387
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,526
- Oh god!
- Oh no!
- Oh my god!
388
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,261
- Oh no! Oh--oh...
389
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,664
(panting)
- oh!
390
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,733
- Uh, maybe he's okay?
391
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,335
(all exhale)
392
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,639
I can't see anything.
- Is he dead?
393
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,274
- Oh, I don't know!
I don't know, I don't know!
394
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,842
We gotta get out of here!
- No, no,
395
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,644
Someone has to go down there
and check on that guy,
396
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,780
Because I think you killed him!
- Yeah, okay, you go check.
397
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,648
- No, I'm not gonna go, you go!
You pushed him!
398
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,417
- What? I'm not going.
No, kate, you're up.
399
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,952
- What the fuck? No, man!
It's a dark basement,
400
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,287
And he's a psychopath, I can't
see a fuckin' thing down there!
401
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,089
- Val, you go!
- Me? No, I couldn't possibly.
402
00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,358
If I fall down the stairs,
my ass could explode.
403
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,259
I've heard that's happened
to some--
404
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,296
- Argh! Shut up! I'll go.
405
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,098
I'll do it, just shut up!
406
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,034
- Yeah, you go.
407
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,702
- (huffs)
408
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:41,039
(sighs) I guess it's time
for this self-centred lunatic
409
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,774
To get her hands dirty.
410
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,209
(footsteps recede)
411
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,245
(thunder rumbles,
rain patters)
412
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:52,583
♪♪♪
413
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,519
(footsteps thud on stairs)
414
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,520
Hello?
415
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:58,990
Man?
416
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,726
(steps creak)
417
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,194
(scared breaths)
418
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:10,934
♪♪♪
419
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,636
- (waking moan)
420
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,139
(groans)
- (screams)
421
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,475
(both scream)
422
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,143
(hard thud)
423
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,878
- (screaming)
424
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,312
(running footsteps,
panting, door slams)
425
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,218
(rain patters)
426
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,353
Sloane: So let me get this
straight, he's dead, again?
427
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,288
- I don't know!
I bopped him.
428
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,858
- Bopped him?
- Does anyone else's cell phone
429
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,827
Work yet, have you checked?
- No, I don't-- aah!
430
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,495
- Okay! I pushed a hutch
in front of the door,
431
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,096
We should be safe
for the time being.
432
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,998
- From the man who might
be dead.
433
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,833
- What the fuck is a hutch?!
- It's like a credenza.
434
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,402
- No, she means like,
a console table.
435
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,136
- She's obviously talking
about a buffet.
436
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,039
- Oh my god,
just be clear, val!
437
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,140
(val gasps)
438
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,978
- (scoffs) this is the worst
bachelorette party...
439
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,312
Ever.
440
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,450
(all sigh)
441
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,990
- Jenny, I'm really sorry
that you had a miscarriage.
442
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,626
And I'm sorry that I haven't
been a better friend.
443
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,531
- It's okay.
444
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,402
But I think I killed someone,
and I'm going to jail.
445
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,405
(sighs) I might as well
go to jail.
446
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,408
When I tell mcp about that
baby, he's gonna leave me,
447
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,210
I might as well die in prison.
448
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,814
- Wait, you haven't told mcp
yet that you had a miscarriage?
449
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,183
- Oh, I get it,
you show your soft spot,
450
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,552
You show 'em exactly where
to hurt you.
451
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,554
- Why do you think mcp
will leave you
452
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,922
If you tell him about the baby?
- Why wouldn't he?
453
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,893
- Jenny, you're gonna marry
someone who would leave you
454
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,161
If you had a miscarriage?
455
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,964
You're worth so much more than
that, it's actually insane.
456
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,999
- You listen to me, if this
fuckface would leave you
457
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,035
For having a miscarriage,
then he does not deserve
458
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,903
To be walking around
with intact testicles.
459
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:55,772
I will slice that bag
right open.
460
00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,842
Ssst!
- Nice.
- Whoa!
461
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,743
- That's what I'm fuckin'
talkin' about, yes!
462
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,279
- Open him up.
463
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,316
- Thank you, guys.
464
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,019
Really.
465
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,921
- (sighs)
- good news!
466
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,524
- Wow.
- You've gotta be kidding,
woman!
467
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,359
- They found that guy,
from the alert.
468
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,428
- Wait, what?
- The guy on the loose.
469
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,530
They found him.
- Wait,
470
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,798
If the man in the basement
isn't the man from the alert,
471
00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:23,867
And he isn't the man
from package b,
472
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,569
Then who the hell is he?
- W--
473
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,606
(doorbell rings)
474
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,409
(ominous music)
475
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,178
(door creaks)
476
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:36,547
- My-my dad came here
looking for help.
477
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,482
We hit a possum.
478
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,618
Daddy?
Man: Henry!
479
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,155
Henry! Henry, get away from
the door, these women are--
480
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:47,024
Oh! Please! Please open this,
let me see my son!
481
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,425
- Sir?
482
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,030
We are so sorry.
- Son, run! Go!
483
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,831
Run, run, run! Run! Okay!
(pained gasps)
484
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,301
- Very, very sorry!
485
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,237
Hmm!
(door creaks shut)
486
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,807
#notallmen,
I suppose.
487
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,844
- Okay, this is the worst
bachelorette ever, yeah?
488
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,512
Anne and jenny: Ever.
489
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,449
(birds chirp)
490
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:15,453
♪♪♪
491
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,356
(door slams)
- hey.
492
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,893
I wanted to say I'm really
sorry about what happened.
493
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,862
And also about what you
overheard me say,
494
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,964
I was really out of line.
495
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,066
- It's okay.
496
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,801
I haven't exactly been perfect.
497
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,336
- (sighs)
498
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,872
- Apparently I needed
to hear that.
499
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,376
- Hey, you.
- Hey.
500
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,611
- You rushing home to see
sweetie-pie man?
501
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,613
- I think that's run
its course.
502
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,349
- Oh no, I thought you really
liked that guy.
503
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,051
- Better off without him.
- Okay.
504
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,553
Hey, drive safe.
505
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,422
(door shuts, engine roars)
506
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,493
(car rumbles, tires crunch)
507
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,398
- What a crazy fucking night.
508
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,299
- (laughs) seriously.
509
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,368
And just think, if you had
abandoned your anger,
510
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,270
You wouldn't have been able
to protect us.
511
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,372
Who knows what that man
would've done to us?
512
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,274
- Yeah, well, nothing,
considering he was innocent.
513
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,844
- But we didn't know that.
- We didn't know that.
514
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,446
(both laugh)
515
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,582
- Honestly, I've been thinking,
and maybe...
516
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,851
Lionel should be the one
to apologize.
517
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,254
- Okay.
- I mean, he punched a kid
twice,
518
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,089
He kissed tomé--
- uh, what?!
519
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,159
Oh my god!
520
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,628
And he had the fuckin' audacity
to be mad at you
521
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,863
For calling out hypocrisy
in the courtroom?
522
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,931
(sighs) anne.
- I know.
523
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,701
- Anne!
- I know!
524
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,070
- Anne!
- I know! Thank you.
525
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,471
Fuck!
526
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,406
- All right, I'm gonna go pee
before we go,
527
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,408
But then I wanna hear about
this tomé kiss.
528
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,343
Wtf?
- Right?
529
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,913
- (groans)
530
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,681
(toilet flushes)
531
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:55,152
(water splashes)
532
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,787
(content sigh,
turns water off)
533
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,555
(ominous music)
534
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:06,497
♪♪♪