1 00:00:00,735 --> 00:00:02,100 ♪♪♪ 2 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:05,704 (birds chirp) - charlie. 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,106 (footsteps thud) hey, charlie! 4 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,841 (running footsteps thud) charlie? 5 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,410 Hey, charlie, stop! 6 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,178 Charlie, stop! 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,146 (ominous music) 8 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,948 Charlie! 9 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,717 (footfalls thud) 10 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,453 Charlie? 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,824 - She's watching you. 12 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,894 - Who? (music crescendos) 13 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,330 ♪♪♪ 14 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,165 - Don't fuck this up, kate. 15 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,003 - (startles awake) marlene podeski?! 16 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,170 (thunder rolls) 17 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,641 ♪♪♪ 18 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,177 (car rumbles) 19 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,180 (tires crunch on gravel) 20 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,585 (car rumbles to a halt) - okay. 21 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,288 - This is gonna be the weirdest bachelorette party in history. 22 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,223 - Yep, big time. 23 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,191 What do you say we have one last moment of zen 24 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,227 Before this shit show takes liftoff? 25 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,229 - Mm. - Down there. 26 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,264 (sighs deeply) 27 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:10,569 - Yes! Seat massager works! - Mm-hmm. 28 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,504 - Oh! - No talking. 29 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,906 (both inhale and long relaxed exhales) 30 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,244 - You think if we sit here long enough we'll climax? 31 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,146 (massager whirs) 32 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,981 - What are they doing in there? 33 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,583 - Oh fuck, they're staring. 34 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,085 - How long do you think we can do this before it gets weird? 35 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,653 - I think that ship has sailed. 36 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,388 - (sighs) 37 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,991 - Mm-hmm. 38 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,393 (seatbelts click, engine shuts off) 39 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,428 - Hey, bitches, you're late! 40 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,096 - Aah! - Sorry. 41 00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:39,798 - Ladies, are you ready for the best weekend 42 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,533 Of your gorgeous lives? - Well... 43 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,568 - Sure. - Yes! (giggles) 44 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,403 - When's the wine tour? - Yeah! 45 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,606 - Oh! I said we were going to wine country, 46 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,308 Not on a wine tour. 47 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,076 As we have two preggos, yourself being one, sloane, 48 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,879 And our beautiful bride-to-be, 49 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,247 This will be a completely dry bachelorette. 50 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,883 - Oh, fuck me. 51 00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,518 - Oh, no, no, no, but don't you worry, 52 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,420 In the absence of mind-altering substances, 53 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,889 I thought we could get "high" on a night of frights. 54 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,223 Sloane: What?! - Yeah! 55 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,225 - What the hell does that even mean, val? 56 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,161 - Val, you did book a stripper, right? 57 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,963 - I did you one better, girlfriend. 58 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,098 I booked us a haunted house! (crow caws) 59 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,634 - What?! Sloane: Oh, come on. - Why? 60 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,569 - This place is advertised 61 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,304 As a bona fide house of horrors! 62 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,640 Apparently one person got so scared they shit their pants, 63 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,442 According to the airbnb reviews. 64 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,512 - Yeah... I don't mean to be this chick, 65 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,381 But this is not what we signed up for, jenny. 66 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,316 - Yeah, I'm gonna head, I've got a mountain of work, 67 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:33,118 And a bitch trying to steal it from me, 68 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,720 Plus I don't fuck with ghosts. 69 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,655 - Yeah, totally, and also, I don't... 70 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,756 Wanna be here. - Sorry. 71 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,259 - No! 72 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,461 You are not leaving. None of you! 73 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,664 Did I want to spend my bachelorette 74 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,400 At some stupid fake haunted house? No, I did not! 75 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,902 That was a weird choice, val. Very weird. 76 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:53,071 But we are here, and I need this. 77 00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,340 So we are going to have fun, god dammit! 78 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,308 Anybody got any more problems? 79 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,280 I didn't think so. 80 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,615 - Alrighty! And with that... 81 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,485 Let's get this party started, ghoul gals! 82 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,286 - You got any good snacks in there at least? 83 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,355 - You bet, I've got a dozen devilled eggs 84 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,557 With your name on them! Kate: Yeah, okay. 85 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,893 (screen door creaks open) - dude, are you okay? 86 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,095 - Yeah, yeah, of course, it's just um... 87 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,163 You don't think there's like, any real ghosts in there right, 88 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,899 'cause ghosts aren't real. Any five-year-old knows that. 89 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,700 Well, most. (laughs) I did find charlie 90 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,502 In a grave last night. - What?! 91 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,104 - Yeah, he was um, 92 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,773 He said he was talking to marlene's ghost. 93 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,407 He wanted to be with her. 94 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,376 And-and if ghosts were real, then I would be worried 95 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,378 That maybe marlene was haunting my family, but um, 96 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,347 Ghosts aren't real, so I have nothing to worry about, right? 97 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,115 - Um, mm-- 98 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,683 Val: (loud shrill scream) 99 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,988 The kitchen's adorable! 100 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,356 (laughs) (screen door creaks shut) 101 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,193 - (readying exhale) 102 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,264 - Hmm. (floorboards creak) 103 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,065 - There's no dick decorations, val? 104 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,934 - Yeah, honestly, a couple dicks wouldn't hurt. 105 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,336 - Oh, I'm sorry jenny, I didn't think they were very on-theme. 106 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,171 While dicks can be scary, 107 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,073 They're not haunted-house scary. 108 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,075 - Well, it's a good thing I brought my own dick straw. 109 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,044 Hmm? - Aaah! Oh! 110 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,815 - Boo. - Jesus fuck! 111 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,284 - Okay, hi, I'm kathy, welcome, welcome, gather round. 112 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,352 Uh, welcome to the farmhouse. 113 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,355 - Hi kathy, I'm valerie. I made the booking. 114 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,157 - Right, sardinski? - It's actually szalinsky. 115 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,659 - Yeah, your credit card didn't go through. 116 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,828 Wouldn't even take the damage deposit, it was just like, 117 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,296 Decline, decline, decline. 118 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,331 Anyway, we can sidebar about it later. 119 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,601 Okay, ladies, welcome to the farmhouse. 120 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,771 Who haunts this house, you ask? Well, as the uh, story goes, 121 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,673 There was a woman, she disappeared, 122 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,474 She was running away from her family, 123 00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,343 You know, her two kids, you know the type. 124 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,445 And well, her problems followed her here. 125 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,781 And so did her kids, who murdered her. 126 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,716 Uh, right here, in this very house. 127 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,918 - Yeah, I could see alice doing that. - Mm-hmm. 128 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,787 Kathy: Now she haunts the house, and uh, 129 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,755 That's how it goes, boo, that kind of thing. 130 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,423 - What the fuck?! - Okay, great, 131 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,726 So you are getting package b, 132 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,661 So that means dinner is at six o'clock, 133 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,430 And there is a psychic reading included. 134 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,499 - (gasps) can we do the psychic now? 135 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,934 - Ooh! Who's the psychic? 136 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,435 (ominous music) 137 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,608 - (scoffs) - do me first! 138 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,610 Oh, I want to go first! 139 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,478 (excited laugh) - ah-hmm... 140 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,549 Yeah, there's nothin'. I'm sorry, it's black. 141 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,217 - Nothing? 142 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,752 - Yeah, there's nothing in here, not a damn thing. 143 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,420 - Do you think it's the butt getting in the way? 144 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,356 - I mean, it's possible. - Hmm. 145 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,591 - There-oh! 146 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,893 I'm just getting some interfer-- 147 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,428 Hmm! (clears her throat) 148 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,165 Getting some interference here. Hmm... 149 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,465 Hmm... - Oh. (laughs) 150 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,503 - You! - Only good stuff, okay? 151 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,638 - Shhh! 152 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,441 Oh... 153 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,577 You've suffered great loss. 154 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,446 There's death all around you. 155 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,448 There's darkness ahead. 156 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,617 Darkness behind. 157 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,454 I'm so sorry, dear. 158 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,691 (sad exhale) 159 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,994 - Jesus christ. - Okay, weird. 160 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,864 - (clears throat) all right, who else wants a reading? 161 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,532 All: Nah, we're good. No! We're good. 162 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,334 - Actually, I think I hear my phone. 163 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:11,336 Gena: Yeah. Val: Do me again. 164 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,372 - Lionel said that? 165 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,675 - Yeah, he said I'm addicted to rage. 166 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,743 And that while he was in cochrane without me 167 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,613 Was the happiest he's been in a really, really long time. 168 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,748 - Jesus. - I don't know. 169 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,750 What he said really hit me. 170 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,753 Maybe I need to make some changes with my anger. 171 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,689 - Stop it, look, this is the woman he married. 172 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,391 You're a firecracker. It's who you are, it's great! 173 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,059 - Yeah, I mean, I used to think that, too, but... 174 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,963 I don't know anymore. 175 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,364 - Anne! This guy knows. Okay? 176 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,499 - (small laugh) 177 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,569 - How's it going with the crazy aunt? 178 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,571 Is she still fighting for junior? 179 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,573 - Yep, she sure is, not givin' up. 180 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,208 You know, ah, I don't know, 181 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,843 When it comes to cassandra, 182 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,712 I feel like maybe I'm not doing the right thing. 183 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,480 - Of course you're doing the right thing. 184 00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,615 His mom specifically left him to you. 185 00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,917 - She did, yeah, but would she still do that if she knew 186 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,853 Her sister wanted him? - That doesn't matter. 187 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,055 - Doesn't it matter? He's got history with this woman. 188 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,024 - Yeah, and you're building history with him. 189 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,827 I mean, what matters is that you want him. 190 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,529 - I do, yeah. 191 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,999 But imagine like, you inherited a dead woman's kid, 192 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,734 And she was like, following you around being like, 193 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,369 "don't fuck this up!" 194 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,737 And all you're doing is fucking this up 195 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,605 Like, left, right, centre. 196 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,240 - I thought you didn't believe in ghosts. 197 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,774 - I don't-- oh! (door creaks and slams) 198 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,578 (stunned huff) 199 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,182 Gena: Hey, val, thanks for planning all this. 200 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,184 You know, I probably should've done it, but... 201 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,086 I didn't know what to fuckin' do. 202 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,823 - Not a problem, happy to do all the work 203 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,958 For none of the credit. - Honestly, val, 204 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,760 I have no idea why I'm the maid of honour. 205 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,030 We're like bitchy work friends. You know? 206 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,331 I didn't even invite jenny to my wedding. 207 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,367 And I could have, I just didn't want to. 208 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,168 You know, there's always a crisis, 209 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,171 There's always an issue. 210 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,306 Being her friend is just... 211 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,775 It's so exhausting. 212 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:04,382 ♪♪♪ 213 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,919 - Okay, yeah, this place is a nightmare. 214 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,255 I'm not sleeping here. - What are even doing here? 215 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,390 I mean, are we really that self-centered lunatic's 216 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:16,427 Closest friends? If we are, that's really sad-- 217 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,962 - Oh no, jenny, wait! - (gasps) 218 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,964 (both scream) - holy fuck! 219 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,666 - Is this rigged? 220 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,002 (rips) arghh! 221 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,937 - For the record, I didn't shit my pants. 222 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,607 ♪♪♪ 223 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,477 (footsteps thud, door creaks and slams) 224 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,611 (springs squeak) 225 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,948 (straw rustles) 226 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,650 (quiet sob) 227 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,622 (inhales deeply) 228 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,625 (slow exhale) 229 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,628 (phone buzzes) 230 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,033 - Paul, please, 231 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,769 I told you to stop calling me, 232 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,704 I'm mad at you right now, don't push me. 233 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,974 - Okay, I'm sorry. I-I hear you. 234 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,376 Thing is, I don't really understand you. 235 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,312 - I took your advice, right? I opened up to nina, 236 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,515 She immediately stabbed me in the back. 237 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,816 I knew I shouldn't have told her, 238 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,718 I should have trusted my gut. - But you know you needed 239 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,653 To tell people at work sooner or later, 240 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,456 And I bet you they are all over the moon for you. 241 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,126 - I don't work in an ultrasound lab. 242 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,928 Babies are not always welcome news in the upper echelons 243 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,398 Of the corporate world, paul, if you can comprehend that. 244 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,800 - Oh, wow. Uh, okay, then. 245 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,902 - I'm gonna have this baby my way, understand? 246 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,339 I don't need a total re-brand just because I'm pregnant. 247 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,075 - Your life is going to change. 248 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,810 This is just the tip of the iceberg. 249 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,745 - You know what, I think we're good here. 250 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,014 That's gonna be it, paul. 251 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,682 (taps to end call) 252 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,685 (phone thuds) 253 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,422 (high-pitched laughter plays) 254 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,791 (door slams) nuh-uh! 255 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,463 (thunder rolls) 256 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,398 (rain patters) 257 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,903 ♪♪♪ 258 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,671 (ominous creaking) - (sighs) 259 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,378 - Okay, I realize this isn't ideal, 260 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,980 But can we do some normal 261 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,383 Bachelorette stuff like games, 262 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,052 Or would that like, kill you guys? 263 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,990 If you can even bother to get off your phones? 264 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,692 (light tap) - hmm? 265 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,794 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just drownin' in work. 266 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,429 - Whatever, it's rude. - Oh, come on. 267 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,098 (scoffs) 268 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,866 - Okay, let's play games. 269 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,701 Of course we're gonna play games, let's sit. 270 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,703 - (pleased laugh) 271 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,306 - Now, what game should we play? 272 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,941 - Oh, okay, I got it. 273 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,878 How about everyone shares their favourite memory 274 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,013 Of the bride-to-be? - (giggles) 275 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:52,016 - But how is that a game? Like, there's no winning. 276 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,019 - Could you just go with it? 277 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,688 (nervous tapping) 278 00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,857 - Well, don't all go at once. 279 00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,693 - (snaps fingers) when we went to the cottage and did lsd. 280 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,528 All: (laugh) 281 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,530 - I was never at a cottage with you guys. 282 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,899 - You were--you were not. Sorry, shit. 283 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,800 - Oh, wait! I got it. 284 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,237 Remember our mountain weekend with tomato and the hogtie? 285 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,305 (laughs) that was crazy! 286 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,740 - What? 287 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,309 - Oh god, you weren't there, I'm so sorry. 288 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,977 - Oh, the retreat. 289 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,913 When I waxed ian's eyebrows-- 290 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,382 - She wasn't there for that, um, yeah. 291 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,551 - Anyw--gena, this is your idea. 292 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,919 (scoffs) I mean... 293 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,921 - What you got? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, um... 294 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,856 (clicks teeth) oh... 295 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,657 - Maybe somethin' at the office, there. 296 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,326 - Yeah, I... - Wow. 297 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,829 It's as if none of you have any memory of me at all. 298 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,134 - Oh, no, jenny, it's okay. 299 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,769 We were just being silly-willies. 300 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,539 - No, it's not okay. 301 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,140 I know none of you like me, 302 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,376 And don't even wanna be here. - Okay jenny, 303 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,810 These are just your pregnancy hormones talking, 304 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,678 We wanna be here. - No. 305 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,181 I literally heard you earlier. 306 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:59,551 And it's not the hormones, because I don't have a baby. 307 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,219 I had a miscarriage, 308 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,853 And you guys would probably already know that 309 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,289 If you knew anything about me! 310 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:06,891 - Oh, my. 311 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,961 Jenny, wait! 312 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,830 (doorbell rings) 313 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,865 (ominous music) 314 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,666 (door opens, music crescendos) 315 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,802 (rain patters) why, hello, there. 316 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,438 - Ma'am, thank you for answering the door. 317 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,873 My uh, car broke down after I hit a possum. 318 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,843 Could I use your phone? 319 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,580 - (gasps) ah, yes! The lone driver. 320 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,515 Package b! (chuckles) 321 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,450 Of course you can use my phone. 322 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,718 My passcode is 6-9-6-9. 323 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,790 - Thank you. 324 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,858 (rain patters) 325 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,693 (door creaks shut) 326 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,930 - Fuck. - Yeah. Um... 327 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,165 (emergency alert blares) - what the hell? 328 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,703 (sloane reads) "dangerous suspect on the loose in the area." 329 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,138 What the hell? 330 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,073 - (reads) "suspect may be armed and has a history 331 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,876 Of breaking and entering, and domestic assault." 332 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,778 Jesus! 333 00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,881 - Hey, um, whose car is that? 334 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,316 (loud thud) all: Shit! Oh my god! God! 335 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,351 - Jesus, this woman, I swear to god! 336 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,787 (knocking, muffled talking) 337 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,956 - We can't hear you! 338 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,091 (thuds) 339 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,994 (sighs) 340 00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:18,930 - Okay. Look, I hate to tell you this, 341 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,865 But I just got off a call with derek, 342 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,968 My usual lone driver-- - I'm sorry, lone driver? 343 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,370 - Yeah, yeah, he uh, shows up, chases you around 344 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,439 From room to room, makes you think your life's in danger, 345 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,275 Falls out a window, and he's on his way. 346 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,244 But um, well, he had to cancel on account of the storm. 347 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,912 - Yeah, sure. 348 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,681 - But he was part of the package I paid for. 349 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,382 - It doesn't sound like you paid for anything, there, val. 350 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:39,918 - Gena, zip it. 351 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,086 - I know, val, you "paid" for package b, 352 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,888 But uh, it's not gonna happen. 353 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,857 If you want to change to package a, 354 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,593 Uh, I'll need about 20 minutes to whip up some pentagrams. 355 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,061 - No thanks, we're good. 356 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,664 - Come on, kathy, quit pulling our legs. 357 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,765 Okay! He's already here. 358 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,201 I just let him in. Ooh! 359 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,903 - Wait, what? - Yeah, no, that's uh... 360 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,905 That's not possible. - Well, I did. 361 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,874 - Wait, sorry, val, you let someone in here? 362 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,710 - That's right, a man. - You let a stranger into the hou-- 363 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,012 That is recklessly dangerous. - Right, yeah, 364 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,014 Says the woman who rigged this house like macaulay culkin. 365 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:11,883 Are you telling me he's in this house right now? 366 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,751 - Aah! I did, yeah. 367 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,020 - Okay, hold on, val, what does the guy look like? 368 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,089 - Oh, I don't know, five-ten, blue eyes, blond hair. 369 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,558 - Oh, you mean the exact same description... 370 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,293 As the alert, val! 371 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,128 Kate: The suspect? Okay, oh-- - what the fuck?! 372 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,697 - He's in here? 373 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,231 - I thought he was part of package b! 374 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,000 All: (screaming) oh shit! Oh! No! 375 00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,902 - I've killed us all, all my best friends. 376 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,904 All my best friends, I'm gonna die with them! 377 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,972 - Call 911, 911, just call 911. - Yeah, yeah. 378 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,008 Fuck, shit! There's no signal! (jenny screams) 379 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,110 All: (screaming) shit! Oh my god! Oh! Jenny! 380 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,045 Gena: Jenny? Where is she? Where is she? 381 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:44,849 - There was this spooky clown, and the lights went out! 382 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,684 - It doesn't matter, there's a stranger in the house! 383 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,553 - What?! - I've been looking for you. 384 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,054 - Oh shit! - (screams) 385 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,723 - No! Don't touch her! 386 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,091 (man cries out, body thuds on stairs) 387 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,526 - Oh god! - Oh no! - Oh my god! 388 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,261 - Oh no! Oh--oh... 389 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,664 (panting) - oh! 390 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,733 - Uh, maybe he's okay? 391 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,335 (all exhale) 392 00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,639 I can't see anything. - Is he dead? 393 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,274 - Oh, I don't know! I don't know, I don't know! 394 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,842 We gotta get out of here! - No, no, 395 00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,644 Someone has to go down there and check on that guy, 396 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,780 Because I think you killed him! - Yeah, okay, you go check. 397 00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,648 - No, I'm not gonna go, you go! You pushed him! 398 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,417 - What? I'm not going. No, kate, you're up. 399 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,952 - What the fuck? No, man! It's a dark basement, 400 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,287 And he's a psychopath, I can't see a fuckin' thing down there! 401 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,089 - Val, you go! - Me? No, I couldn't possibly. 402 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,358 If I fall down the stairs, my ass could explode. 403 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,259 I've heard that's happened to some-- 404 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,296 - Argh! Shut up! I'll go. 405 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,098 I'll do it, just shut up! 406 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,034 - Yeah, you go. 407 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,702 - (huffs) 408 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:41,039 (sighs) I guess it's time for this self-centred lunatic 409 00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,774 To get her hands dirty. 410 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,209 (footsteps recede) 411 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,245 (thunder rumbles, rain patters) 412 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:52,583 ♪♪♪ 413 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,519 (footsteps thud on stairs) 414 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,520 Hello? 415 00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:58,990 Man? 416 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,726 (steps creak) 417 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,194 (scared breaths) 418 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:10,934 ♪♪♪ 419 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,636 - (waking moan) 420 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,139 (groans) - (screams) 421 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,475 (both scream) 422 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,143 (hard thud) 423 00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,878 - (screaming) 424 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,312 (running footsteps, panting, door slams) 425 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,218 (rain patters) 426 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,353 Sloane: So let me get this straight, he's dead, again? 427 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,288 - I don't know! I bopped him. 428 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,858 - Bopped him? - Does anyone else's cell phone 429 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,827 Work yet, have you checked? - No, I don't-- aah! 430 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,495 - Okay! I pushed a hutch in front of the door, 431 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,096 We should be safe for the time being. 432 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,998 - From the man who might be dead. 433 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,833 - What the fuck is a hutch?! - It's like a credenza. 434 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,402 - No, she means like, a console table. 435 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,136 - She's obviously talking about a buffet. 436 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,039 - Oh my god, just be clear, val! 437 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,140 (val gasps) 438 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,978 - (scoffs) this is the worst bachelorette party... 439 00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,312 Ever. 440 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,450 (all sigh) 441 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,990 - Jenny, I'm really sorry that you had a miscarriage. 442 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,626 And I'm sorry that I haven't been a better friend. 443 00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,531 - It's okay. 444 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,402 But I think I killed someone, and I'm going to jail. 445 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,405 (sighs) I might as well go to jail. 446 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,408 When I tell mcp about that baby, he's gonna leave me, 447 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,210 I might as well die in prison. 448 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,814 - Wait, you haven't told mcp yet that you had a miscarriage? 449 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,183 - Oh, I get it, you show your soft spot, 450 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,552 You show 'em exactly where to hurt you. 451 00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,554 - Why do you think mcp will leave you 452 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,922 If you tell him about the baby? - Why wouldn't he? 453 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,893 - Jenny, you're gonna marry someone who would leave you 454 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,161 If you had a miscarriage? 455 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,964 You're worth so much more than that, it's actually insane. 456 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,999 - You listen to me, if this fuckface would leave you 457 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,035 For having a miscarriage, then he does not deserve 458 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,903 To be walking around with intact testicles. 459 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:55,772 I will slice that bag right open. 460 00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,842 Ssst! - Nice. - Whoa! 461 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,743 - That's what I'm fuckin' talkin' about, yes! 462 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,279 - Open him up. 463 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,316 - Thank you, guys. 464 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,019 Really. 465 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,921 - (sighs) - good news! 466 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,524 - Wow. - You've gotta be kidding, woman! 467 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,359 - They found that guy, from the alert. 468 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,428 - Wait, what? - The guy on the loose. 469 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,530 They found him. - Wait, 470 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,798 If the man in the basement isn't the man from the alert, 471 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:23,867 And he isn't the man from package b, 472 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,569 Then who the hell is he? - W-- 473 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,606 (doorbell rings) 474 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,409 (ominous music) 475 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,178 (door creaks) 476 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:36,547 - My-my dad came here looking for help. 477 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,482 We hit a possum. 478 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,618 Daddy? Man: Henry! 479 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,155 Henry! Henry, get away from the door, these women are-- 480 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:47,024 Oh! Please! Please open this, let me see my son! 481 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,425 - Sir? 482 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,030 We are so sorry. - Son, run! Go! 483 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,831 Run, run, run! Run! Okay! (pained gasps) 484 00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,301 - Very, very sorry! 485 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,237 Hmm! (door creaks shut) 486 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,807 #notallmen, I suppose. 487 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,844 - Okay, this is the worst bachelorette ever, yeah? 488 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,512 Anne and jenny: Ever. 489 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,449 (birds chirp) 490 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:15,453 ♪♪♪ 491 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,356 (door slams) - hey. 492 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,893 I wanted to say I'm really sorry about what happened. 493 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,862 And also about what you overheard me say, 494 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,964 I was really out of line. 495 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,066 - It's okay. 496 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,801 I haven't exactly been perfect. 497 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,336 - (sighs) 498 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,872 - Apparently I needed to hear that. 499 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,376 - Hey, you. - Hey. 500 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,611 - You rushing home to see sweetie-pie man? 501 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,613 - I think that's run its course. 502 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,349 - Oh no, I thought you really liked that guy. 503 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,051 - Better off without him. - Okay. 504 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,553 Hey, drive safe. 505 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,422 (door shuts, engine roars) 506 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,493 (car rumbles, tires crunch) 507 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,398 - What a crazy fucking night. 508 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,299 - (laughs) seriously. 509 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,368 And just think, if you had abandoned your anger, 510 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,270 You wouldn't have been able to protect us. 511 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,372 Who knows what that man would've done to us? 512 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,274 - Yeah, well, nothing, considering he was innocent. 513 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,844 - But we didn't know that. - We didn't know that. 514 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,446 (both laugh) 515 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,582 - Honestly, I've been thinking, and maybe... 516 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,851 Lionel should be the one to apologize. 517 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,254 - Okay. - I mean, he punched a kid twice, 518 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,089 He kissed tomé-- - uh, what?! 519 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,159 Oh my god! 520 00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,628 And he had the fuckin' audacity to be mad at you 521 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,863 For calling out hypocrisy in the courtroom? 522 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,931 (sighs) anne. - I know. 523 00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,701 - Anne! - I know! 524 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,070 - Anne! - I know! Thank you. 525 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,471 Fuck! 526 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,406 - All right, I'm gonna go pee before we go, 527 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,408 But then I wanna hear about this tomé kiss. 528 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,343 Wtf? - Right? 529 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,913 - (groans) 530 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,681 (toilet flushes) 531 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:55,152 (water splashes) 532 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,787 (content sigh, turns water off) 533 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,555 (ominous music) 534 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:06,497 ♪♪♪