1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:02,501 Nathan: Previously, on "workin' moms:" 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,102 - I think we need to talk about boundaries. 3 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,137 - What's the problem? You said you'd be there for me. 4 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,273 - Colleagues don't shove semen 5 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,208 Into other colleagues' vaginas, traditionally. 6 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,877 - You can't just put her in a car without a car seat! 7 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,980 - I'm sorry, I didn't know. - You know, honestly, sloane, 8 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,082 I am not sure you're cut out to be a mother. 9 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,917 (sheet rustles) 10 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,253 - It's a proposal of an expose about multi-level 11 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,822 Marketing companies. - What, like pyramid schemes? 12 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,690 - Yeah, this shit's insidious. 13 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,028 Sloane: Ah! She's spittin' fire. 14 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,297 These pyramid schemes are goin' down! 15 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,300 - Is this a joke?! - It's called a pivot. 16 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,202 - This is my kid that you're talking about, 17 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,903 This is my little-- - okay. Okay. 18 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,672 - Your book might actually sell now, 19 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,240 How about a thank you? - Fuck you. 20 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,010 (children laugh and shout) 21 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:49,348 - Welcome to the inaugural "val's pals," everyone! 22 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,550 - I can't believe you dragged us back to "mommy and me". 23 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,285 - No, no, no, this is not "mommy and me". 24 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,687 This is val's pals, tm. 25 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,624 The kids are free to join, but this is really about the pals. 26 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,226 - Last I checked, I didn't have to pay for my pals. 27 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,361 - Yeah, val, you've somehow monetized friendship. 28 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,863 - I'm a very good friend. 29 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,365 - Yeah, I'm gonna go. - Yeah. 30 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,033 - Look--no, wait! Here's something fun, 31 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,769 Just for the pals... Husband swap, 32 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,304 Who would you bangalang? - What? 33 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:14,106 - I'm not gonna play this! - Lionel, right? 34 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,040 - What the fuck did you just say?! 35 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,476 - Okay, maybe I pushed a button there. 36 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,043 - Yeah, this has been real. Thanks. 37 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,013 - No wait! I got you something! 38 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,818 - (sighs) okay. 39 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,487 What is this? 40 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,856 - It's an invitation to my birthday! 41 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,524 It's the big one! 42 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,360 - An invitation to nothing? - Yeah, it's blank. (scoff) 43 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:38,330 - I was kinda hoping you two could plan something. 44 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,065 - Ohhh! - Oh wow. 45 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,102 - It'd be nice. 46 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,972 - We were just-we were already uh, talking about it. 47 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,274 - Invite lionel. - What the fuck?! 48 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,209 - You gotta stop that. You gotta stop it. 49 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:58,082 ♪♪♪ 50 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,586 ♪♪♪ 51 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,355 (door slams, alarm beeps on) 52 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,957 - Hey! 53 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,558 - Hey, you ready to relax, bitch? 54 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,360 - Oh! I really need this. 55 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,762 - I know, I wanna release the fuck out of some tension. 56 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,230 - Hmm. Thank you for this. 57 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,400 - Helloooooo! ♪ it's my birthday 58 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,803 ♪ on the day I was born - how old is she even turning? 59 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,571 - I don't know, she said it was "the big one." 60 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,707 - 40? - No dude, like, the big one! 61 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,642 - 50? Not 65? 62 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,444 Val: Hello, it's my birthday! - Huh? 63 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,179 Both: Happy birthday! 64 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,247 - Oh, my very best friend is here! 65 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,117 And anne, too. I'm so excited for a day 66 00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,785 Of pampering with my girlies! - Hmmm. 67 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,487 - Yeah. How'd you swing a rezzo to this place? 68 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,455 I've been trying to get in here since they opened. 69 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,324 - Oh, this place? I um, actually, I didn't. 70 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,393 Yeah, it's a funny story, uh-- (booming bass plays in a car) 71 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,127 Yeah, well, that's not helping. 72 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,063 Very loud. (booming rhythmic bass) 73 00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,132 So look, sloane actually got the reservation for this place, 74 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,467 I didn't want to tell you 75 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,101 'cause I thought you wouldn't come, 76 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,869 And the whole book cover thing, ancient history. 77 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,505 We can laugh about it now, you know what I mean? 78 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,607 She-she probably doesn't even remember, it's the truth. 79 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,510 Val: Sloane, I've heard so much about you! 80 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,311 - Hey, bestseller. 81 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,216 - Okay, so she remembered, but listen, 82 00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,818 Just keep it together for val, right? 83 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,054 Anne? Anne? 84 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,956 Anne? Anne? 85 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,425 - So, here we go. 86 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,694 We have aromatherapy, deep tissue, 87 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,496 And thai massage. - You hear that? 88 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,298 Maybe someone can finally massage the bitch out of you. 89 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,366 - I'll massage the bitch out of you. 90 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,168 - Good luck. Symone: Ahem! 91 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:26,404 A gentle reminder that the club has a whisper-only policy 92 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,408 To ensure peace and tranquility for all our guests. 93 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,977 - Hey, what were you thinking inviting her? 94 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,513 - Look, I know she's not your favourite person. 95 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,514 - No shit! I'd rather let jayme cut my hair 96 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,450 Than hang out with that wide-awake nightmare. 97 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,852 I know you guys are co-workers, but she sucks, dude. 98 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,121 She just says whatever she's thinking. It's a lot. 99 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,523 - Yeah, it kinda reminds me of another person in my life. 100 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,326 - Okay. - Look, today is about val. 101 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,462 Okay? And whatever birthday val is having. 102 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,631 So I need you to try, all right? 103 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,734 Truth be told, I don't totally know how to act 104 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,368 Around sloane today, either. - What do you mean? 105 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,404 I thought you guys were cool now. 106 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,539 - I um, I may have put us in a... 107 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,009 Conflict of interest situation. Hmm. 108 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,377 - What? 109 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,346 - Uh, let's just say there was like, a fire, 110 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,449 And I put out the fire, it's gone. 111 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,551 And I don't know if I should tell her 112 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:15,086 About the fire that I put out. 113 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,622 - I genuinely hate your analogies. 114 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,290 - Yeah. - If there's no fire, 115 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,925 Why sound the alarm? - Right. Exactly. 116 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,095 I'm not gonna tell her. - Great. Okay. 117 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,763 Let's go get pretzeled by some russians. 118 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,231 - Yeah. 119 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,168 (soft music plays) 120 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:33,971 - No need to stay so north of the border, my good man. 121 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,973 - Typically we start with the shoulders. 122 00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,376 - Do whatever you need to do to get the tension out. 123 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,645 Remember, this body is a wonderland. 124 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,914 - You know, I'm not really supposed to say this, 125 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,784 But you have beautiful shoulders. 126 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,686 - Yeah, yeah, just get the job done. 127 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,589 - What do you think of these shoulders? 128 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,525 - Uh, they're-they're fine. 129 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,927 - Fine, or like... Fiiine? 130 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,030 - Can you focus on my neck, that's where I hold 131 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,598 All my tension. Masseur: Mm-hmm. 132 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,001 - Speaking of tension, did you see the look 133 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,536 On anne's face when you walked up? 134 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,604 What got a bee in her bonnet? 135 00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,807 - Don't get me wrong, I love me a sour bitch, 136 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,742 But I prefer the fun kind. 137 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,277 Unfortunately, she never holds back, you know? 138 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,613 - Yeah, I know. 139 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,351 - You have absolutely incredible skin elasticity. 140 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,119 It's-it's like touching a newborn. 141 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,754 - So I've been told. 142 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,725 - I too am... Hot? 143 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,727 - Oh, I can adjust the temperature for you. 144 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,196 Masseur: Ooh! And your arms, they're so supple. 145 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,236 - (sighs heavily) 146 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,638 - Oh, my good man, are you hard? 147 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,774 - No, no. - Well, yes, you are, 148 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,475 I can see it, hard as a rock. 149 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,310 It's all right, perfectly natural. 150 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,779 I'm sure it happens with all the beautiful women. 151 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:51,016 You're excited, the blood is flowing. 152 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,451 - I'm absolutely not excited. - Yes, you are. 153 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,454 I can see it. 154 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,322 Hard like a rock. 155 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,160 ♪♪♪ 156 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,328 (water laps gently) 157 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,332 - This water's so warm, huh? 158 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,935 It's so nice. 159 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,270 How you doin', you been good? 160 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,172 - What's going on? - (laughs) nothing. 161 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,340 Nothing, I'm just-I'm just having fun, 162 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:17,876 I'm just making some conversation. 163 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,810 - Kate. - Uh, there was a fire. 164 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,613 - Where? - It's out. 165 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,582 It's totally out, and because it's out, 166 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,583 We don't need to tell anyone about the fire, right? 167 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,519 I don't gotta tell anybody. - For fuck's sake. 168 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,487 Is this a metaphor? - Yes, sorry, uh, 169 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,289 But I really would like your blessing 170 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,391 To not talk about the fire. - At this point I would pay you 171 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,993 To stop talking about the fire. - What fire? 172 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,194 (nervous chuckle) 173 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,095 Good. Yeah. 174 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,301 Hey, should be in the hot tub? 175 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,903 You know with the whole uh... 176 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,704 - Oh, the whole baby thing? - Yeah. 177 00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,640 - It's not a problem. It didn't take. 178 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,576 - Oh shit, dude, I'm sorry. - Don't be. 179 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,578 - You could try again, you know. 180 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,279 - No, I'm good. 181 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,850 - Hey! - (val sighs) 182 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,421 - Oh! Look at the ass on that one. 183 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,257 What I wouldn't give for an industrial-sized 184 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,691 Dump truck like that. 185 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,860 - To val! - To val! 186 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,561 - Shhhh! 187 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,298 (water babbles softly) 188 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,567 (faint calming music) 189 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,137 - (sighs heavily) did you take a day off 190 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,040 From ruining authors' lives today, sloane? 191 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,175 - (nervous chuckle) you said you were gonna try, anne. 192 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,610 - You got something to say to me there, red? 193 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,079 - Yeah, I might. - Or are you just gonna slap me? 194 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,948 - I thought this was gonna be a close friends-only 195 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,816 Kind of party, I didn't think that someone who humiliated me 196 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,952 On tv was gonna be invited! - Shhh! 197 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,421 - Sorry, you think you were humiliated?! 198 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,623 My ass was on the line when you and bestie over here 199 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,526 Pulled that stunt in front of the board, and for what? 200 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,695 Middling sales at best? 201 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,630 - Oh, maybe if you were better at your job, 202 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,532 You wouldn't need to rely on hack marketing! 203 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,501 - Yeah, well, maybe if you weren't such an asshole 204 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,202 All the time, we wouldn't have to resort to "hack marketing." 205 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,071 - Oh, really?! - Really! 206 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,174 - Ladies! Just a gentle reminder to lower your voices. 207 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,776 - Totally, loud and clear, sorry. 208 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,514 - Do you know what, I didn't come here to be attacked! 209 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,850 - Oh, uh--did you just splash a black woman's hair? 210 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,718 What, are you fuckin' nine?! 211 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,586 - You happy ruining val's birthday?! 212 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,788 - No, no, no getting older ruined my birthday. 213 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,790 You're just snuffing out the candles. 214 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,425 - Shhh! - Oh... 215 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,062 (in unison) you fuckin' shush! - Who invited you, anyways?! 216 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,863 - I don't think I did anything wrong here. 217 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,732 - Okay, now I have to ask you to leave. 218 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,567 - Yeah. All right, we're goin'. - Yeah, let's go! 219 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,602 - You wanna go? You wanna go? - No, no! 220 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,604 - Let's fuckin' go! - Let's go! - I'm out! 221 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,074 - You stop it! - Stop it, we're out! 222 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,508 - You stop it! - We're out! We're out! 223 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,476 I never get to go in hot tubs. 224 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,779 I never get to go in hot tubs, ever! 225 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,617 Raffic rumbles, horns honk) 226 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,352 (low hum of patron chatter) 227 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,488 (silverware clinks) 228 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,328 (low hum of patron chatter) 229 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,030 - Okay, this is super depressing. 230 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,365 Guys, why don't we just start by apologizing 231 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,033 For what happened back there, okay? 232 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,868 Anne? 233 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,539 Sloane? - Fine, I'm... I'm sorry. 234 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,308 - For? 235 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,177 - Spending time with anne in the first place. 236 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,445 - No. 237 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,247 - This is the worst day of my life. 238 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,649 It is! 239 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,652 You know, this is supposed to be my last good year, 240 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,720 And frankly, what's good about it? 241 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,057 I work, come home, bang mel within an inch of his life, 242 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,459 Go to bed, repeat. 243 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:22,994 - You have sex every day? 244 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,863 - You get to be my age... - And that age is...? 245 00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,066 - And nothing is really exciting anymore. 246 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:32,203 Remember how fun birthdays were when you were a kid? 247 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,405 The thrill of a clown. 248 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,875 The magic of a bouncy castle. 249 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,811 Playing truth or dare. 250 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,283 Then suddenly you find yourself eating lightly salted lettuce 251 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,087 In a desperate attempt to hang on to any semblance of youth. 252 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,724 Ohh! 253 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,363 Now, that looks delicious. 254 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,233 What I wouldn't give for a bite of that. 255 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,035 - I cannot take this shit anymore. 256 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,270 I dare you to go take a bite out of that man's sandwich. 257 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,772 - Pardon me? - You heard me. 258 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,507 Walk over there, 259 00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,175 You say hello, 260 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,445 Take a bite of that man's sumptuous chicken parm sandie. 261 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,114 - Oh, I couldn't. 262 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,349 - (laughs) that's fine. 263 00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:20,485 Why do anything exciting? 264 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,421 Might as well just quietly slip into old age instead. 265 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:31,462 ♪♪♪ 266 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,064 - No. - Yeah. 267 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,035 (sloane and val chuckle) - oh shit! 268 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:44,608 ♪♪♪ 269 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,411 - Hello. - Hi. 270 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,214 - It's my birthday. - Okay, so happy-- 271 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,915 Hey! What?! - Mmm! 272 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,884 - Excuse me! - Mmm! 273 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,086 Mm-hmm! - What? 274 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,488 - Mm-hmm! Mmm! - Huh? 275 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,189 - Mmmm! (moans) 276 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,524 - That must be a damn good sandwich! 277 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:01,960 - That's my girl! 278 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,828 - Mmm! Meet you bitches outside, 279 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,064 Let's get this party started, huh?! 280 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,033 (cackles wildly) 281 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,001 - Dude, come on. Pay, pay, pay! - What? 282 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,237 - You got it. - I'm so sorry. 283 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,172 - You're sorry? 284 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,308 - Oh! Holy shit, I'm alive! 285 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,310 (all laugh) 286 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,579 - All right, ladies, it is dare night... 287 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,448 In the middle of the goddamn day. 288 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,583 Foster, you're up. 289 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,551 - Whaaat? - Giddy-up, kate! 290 00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,987 - Truth or dare, really? 291 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,189 I didn't realize I was at one of alice's parties. 292 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,990 - Hey, no truth in this game. 293 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,259 - All right, all right, all right, so what's my dare? 294 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,995 - (laughs) okay, okay, okay. 295 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,997 Uh... (laughs) - what? 296 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,100 - I dare you to flash them. 297 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,335 - She's not gonna flash them. - Who, them? I'll do it, yeah. 298 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,537 - What? - Yeah, what are the parameters? 299 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:47,806 - Both nerps, full ten mississippis. 300 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,208 - Well, that is the legal measurement of time. 301 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,343 - You flash 'em, I'll moon 'em. Solidarity. 302 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,678 - Ah, nah-uh-uh-uh, you've had your moment, this is kate's. 303 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,013 - Can I count? - Sure! 304 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,816 - This is my moment. Anne: Oh my god. 305 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,619 (sloane and val giggle) 306 00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,788 - Oh my lord! - One mississippi. 307 00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,857 Two mississippi. - Little slow val, come on! 308 00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,826 - Three mississippi. - Is that a birthmark? 309 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,561 - Four mississippi. 310 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,563 - You want to count a little faster? Pick up the pace! 311 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,198 What do you say? Come on! - Five mississippi. 312 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,066 - Oh! Oh my god! Oh! Anne: Hey! Hey! 313 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,201 You peeping tween! What the fuck? Gimme that! 314 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,837 (glass shatters) - that's my phone! 315 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,606 - It was an android, it's probably gonna explode anyway. 316 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,174 ♪ yeah 317 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,675 ♪ hey (come on) 318 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:25,977 ♪ young rap girl 319 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,311 ♪ this is the anthem, folks 320 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,913 ♪ you know I'm known to make 'em mad ♪ 321 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,482 ♪ it's the tantrum flow 322 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:31,950 ♪ yeah, I hear a lot of talk 323 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,551 ♪ and they're saying this and that ♪ 324 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,720 ♪ look I'm gettin' real sick about to tell 'em get the gat ♪ 325 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,255 ♪ make it nasty he's sliding like skates ♪ 326 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,258 ♪ but lookin' like you wanna eat, this is steak, yeah ♪ 327 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,260 ♪ I think you're choosin' but know I got the option ♪ 328 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,530 - (deep inhale, growl) - (children scream) 329 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,932 ♪ I need one for the money two times for the show ♪ 330 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,900 ♪ this is where you take notes ♪ 331 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,702 ♪ on how to really kill a flow 332 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,671 ♪ mix the henny with the coke make the room move slow ♪ 333 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,073 ♪ speed it up and make the club, buss it down to the floor ♪ 334 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,477 ♪ wait, holler, I think I got the next dude on the way ♪ 335 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,679 - (gasps) lady! - Oh, I'm just playin'. 336 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,581 I'm messin' with you, she's gorgeous, by the way. 337 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,083 Congratulations, congratulations. 338 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,085 Sloane: (laughs) you crazy bitch! 339 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,721 (line rings) - oh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! 340 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,422 Yes, richard greenwood? 341 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,058 Congratulations, you are our grand prize winner! 342 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,962 - Is this for the steaks? Honey, we won the steaks! Huh! 343 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,430 (all laugh) 344 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,433 ♪ buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it ♪ 345 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:24,002 ♪ go ahead and buss it 346 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,703 ♪ buss it, buss it, buss it 347 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:28,039 - Yes, I'd like to place an order for ceecee mitchell. 348 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:31,008 Mm-hmm, I would like uh, one beehive, please. 349 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,745 ♪ go ahead and buss it 350 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,880 - (laughs wildly) 351 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,015 Aaah! (giggles) 352 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,385 (laughs, screams) 353 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,722 (screaming) oof! 354 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,325 ♪ buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it ♪ 355 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,594 (music slows to a stop) (birds chirp) 356 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,262 - (coughs, gasps) 357 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,131 (laughs) I'm okay! 358 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,599 ♪ go ahead and buss it 359 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,801 ♪ throw it in the mirror like you do it out in public ♪ 360 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,270 - Hello, is your refrigerator running? 361 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,539 ♪ she dig don't care and they know we really... ♪ 362 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,441 - Better go catch it! (laughs) 363 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,243 (all jeering) booooo! - What? It's a classic! 364 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,644 - That's terrible! 365 00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,612 ♪ go ahead and buss it, buss it, buss it ♪ 366 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,348 ♪ buss it, buss it buss it, buss it ♪ 367 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,351 ♪ go ahead and buss it, buss it ♪ 368 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,452 ♪ go ahead and buss it, buss it ♪ 369 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,690 ♪ buss it, buss it buss it, buss it ♪ 370 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,825 ♪ go ahead and-- (all laugh) 371 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,160 - Oh my god! - Ah! It's so good! So good. 372 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,630 - Oh! All right, dare master, what do you got for anne? 373 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,065 - No, no, I'm good. 374 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,800 - No, come on, dude, try something. 375 00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:32,036 - Ah, okay, fine. But just like, nothing too crazy. 376 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,440 - All right, uh, I dare you to... 377 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,642 Take a little birdbath in that fountain there. 378 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,478 - Okay, that's a reasonable dare. 379 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,247 - Ooh, then we all get to make a wish! 380 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,515 - I mean, and spend the rest of the day soaking wet? 381 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,117 No way! - Right, no fun. 382 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,785 - No! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 383 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,255 - Okay, well, nobody else complained, but fair enough. 384 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,424 Let's play to your strengths. Uh... 385 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,863 I dare you to go up to that guy 386 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,798 And give him your uncensored opinion of him. 387 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,633 Should be easy enough for you. 388 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,535 - Unlike some people, I don't go around 389 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:07,805 Giving my unsolicited opinions like a psycho! No! 390 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,107 - Are you unfamiliar with the game? It's a dare. 391 00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,343 - "are you unfamiliar with the game?" no! No! 392 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,877 Pick another one. 393 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,246 - Anne, you gotta do something, come on. 394 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,148 - I knew she didn't have it in her, can we skip her? 395 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,750 - No, I don't wanna be skipped, I just want a fun, harmless dare. 396 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:21,518 - Yeah. - Okay, uh... 397 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,289 I got it. 398 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,890 - Mm-hmm? Okay. - Come on, anne! 399 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,792 - I dare you to go give that guy a kiss. 400 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,096 Val: (gasps) ohhhh! Oh! (sloane chuckles) 401 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,165 - I-I'm not gonna cheat on my husband for a dare. 402 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,467 And who knows what infectious diseases that guy has! 403 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,503 No way! - Oh my god, this is painful! 404 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,271 I'll do it. 405 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,139 - Wha-- - great, go. 406 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,877 - (frustrated exhale) kate: Jesus. 407 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,845 - Hi. Kate: Is she gonna... 408 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,447 (val giggles, gasps) kate: Oh! 409 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,718 Oh! 410 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,853 It's steamy. 411 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,388 (shocked scoff) 412 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:03,594 ♪♪♪ 413 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,664 - (retches, vomits) all: Ooh! Oh! 414 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,133 - Oh! Sloane: (coughs) 415 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,507 - That bad, huh? 416 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,078 - Oh, that's nice. 417 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,250 ♪♪♪ 418 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,019 (traffic rumbles, horns honk) 419 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,553 (birds chirp) 420 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,556 - Pretty hot kiss, minus the barf. 421 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,293 - Which is weird, because I usually have an iron stomach. 422 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,594 - Oh, maybe you caught something from bench guy. 423 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,099 - You know, we could call it. - Are you kidding? 424 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:44,835 The fun just started! 425 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,703 That was a puke and rally situation. 426 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,306 - Ah, pull the trig, and then you're good to go, I love it. 427 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,108 - That's right, baby. 428 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,513 - Well... 429 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,981 At least you know you're not pregnant. 430 00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,650 - (laughs) 431 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,652 - You did take a pregnancy test, right? 432 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,221 - I didn't need to, I know my body, it's not spawning. 433 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,525 - Oh yeah, what does "spawning" feel like? 434 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,260 - Tiny fingernails scratching. - Mm-hmm. 435 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,595 (plastic bag rustles) 436 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,897 I got a dare for you. 437 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,134 - (snort laughs) 438 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,339 - I'll admit it, val, the shirt was a good purchase. 439 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,540 Val: You want me to run back and see if they have a small? 440 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,676 It would look good on you. - No, I already got it, so. 441 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,545 - Hmm. - What about a pair of... Hmm? 442 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,247 - No, I'm, I'm good. 443 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,848 - Hey, you good? 444 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,950 - Yeah, of course. I'm not pregnant. 445 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,219 And in two minutes, this little test will prove it. 446 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,020 - Okay, because if you are-- 447 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,689 - I told you, I'm not. I can't be. 448 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,691 - Well, those are two different things. 449 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,493 - I'm not pregnant. I shouldn't be, anyway. 450 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,296 - What do you mean? 451 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,231 - Well, I don't have what it takes to be a mother. 452 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,366 - What? - The fuck?! 453 00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,401 Who the fuck told you that? That doesn't sound like you. 454 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,071 - Not at all. - Look, if you are pregnant, 455 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,906 Your kid's gonna be a dick, just like you. 456 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,042 - Okay. - What the fuck? 457 00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,844 - That's a step backwards, my friend. 458 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,180 - What I'm trying to say is, the one thing I know 459 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,948 About difficult people... - Excuse me? 460 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,385 - Is that we make great moms. 461 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,988 Headstrong, opinionated, asshole women 462 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,524 Make headstrong, opinionated, asshole kids. 463 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,226 And that's not a bad thing. 464 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,162 It's the one reason I know that 465 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,631 Alice is gonna be okay in this world. 466 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:24,602 - Well, I appreciate the pep talk, ladies, but again, 467 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,537 Not pregnant. - But if you are, 468 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,739 I'd throw money down that you'd be great at it. 469 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,475 (traffic hums in the distance) 470 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,243 (birds chirp) 471 00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,947 - Valeria! I almost forgot, I got you something! 472 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,816 - Oh no, save your pregnancy test, kate. 473 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,484 I love condoms. - What? 474 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,319 - Yeah, can't get enough of 'em. 475 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,155 They just make it feel better. 476 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:45,690 You know, actually, I'm addicted. 477 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,558 And honestly, I can't come without 'em, call me nuts. 478 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,126 - I got you a cupcake. 479 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,761 - Oh my god, even better, I love cupcakes. 480 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,430 - (laughs) I know it's not a cake, 481 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,565 But I figured a-a birthday of um... 482 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,367 This magnitude... - Oh, yes! 483 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,269 - And that birthday is... 484 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,440 - Do neither of you know how old I am? 485 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,309 - No, we do, we do, we totally do. 486 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,277 We just were hoping you were gonna say it. 487 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,913 - Good, so you know I'm turning... 488 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,515 - 38. - 50. 489 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,417 - Did you just say 70? - Did you say 28? 490 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,385 - No, I said 38. - 38? 491 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,221 I thought you said it was the big one! 492 00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,457 - It is the big one. Well, the big one before the big one. 493 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,659 - Well, that's-- - 38 is your last good year. 494 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,794 39 is just a slip 'n slide to 40. 495 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,063 And 40 is the big, big one. 496 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,398 And then it's a crapshoot after that. 497 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,300 Oh god, I've depressed myself. 498 00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,669 (horns honk, traffic rumbles) 499 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:36,273 ♪♪♪ 500 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,010 - Fuck it! - Where you goin'? 501 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,344 - Anne. 502 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,013 Anne! 503 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,015 What? 504 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,151 What- aaah! - Do it! 505 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,354 Val: Wooooooo! Kate: Oh my god! 506 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,489 (horn honks) - (laughs) 507 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,092 (all cheer) woooooooooo! 508 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,427 - Are you happy now? 509 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,995 - Not as happy as you are, 510 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,363 Look at that smile on your face! 511 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,498 Crazy bitch! 512 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:08,472 ♪♪♪ 513 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,441 (crickets chirp) 514 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,711 (light buzzes on) 515 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,346 ♪♪♪ 516 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,649 ♪ I'm lost in the light 517 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,051 ♪ I pray for the night 518 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,720 (door creaks open and shut) 519 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,989 ♪ take me, take me too 520 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,793 (keys jingle) 521 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,728 ♪ after so many words 522 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,097 ♪ still nothin's heard 523 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:39,136 ♪ don't know what we should do ♪ 524 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,740 ♪ so if someone could see me now ♪ 525 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:43,206 ♪ let them see you (light clicks on) 526 00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,442 ♪ let them see you (light clicks on) 527 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:49,146 ♪♪♪ 528 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,015 ♪ they help you to 529 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,351 ♪ see you through 530 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,489 ♪ all the hard things 531 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,724 ♪ we've all gotta do 532 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,028 ♪ because this life is long 533 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:06,497 ♪ and so you wouldn't be wrong