1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:02,501
Nathan: Previously,
on "workin' moms:"
2
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,102
- I think we need to talk
about boundaries.
3
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,137
- What's the problem?
You said you'd be there for me.
4
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,273
- Colleagues don't shove semen
5
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,208
Into other colleagues' vaginas,
traditionally.
6
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,877
- You can't just put her
in a car without a car seat!
7
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,980
- I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- You know, honestly, sloane,
8
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,082
I am not sure you're cut out
to be a mother.
9
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,917
(sheet rustles)
10
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,253
- It's a proposal of an expose
about multi-level
11
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,822
Marketing companies.
- What, like pyramid schemes?
12
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,690
- Yeah, this shit's insidious.
13
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,028
Sloane: Ah! She's spittin'
fire.
14
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,297
These pyramid schemes
are goin' down!
15
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,300
- Is this a joke?!
- It's called a pivot.
16
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,202
- This is my kid that
you're talking about,
17
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,903
This is my little--
- okay. Okay.
18
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,672
- Your book might actually
sell now,
19
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,240
How about a thank you?
- Fuck you.
20
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,010
(children laugh and shout)
21
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:49,348
- Welcome to the inaugural
"val's pals," everyone!
22
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,550
- I can't believe you dragged
us back to "mommy and me".
23
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,285
- No, no, no, this is not
"mommy and me".
24
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,687
This is val's pals, tm.
25
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,624
The kids are free to join, but
this is really about the pals.
26
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,226
- Last I checked, I didn't
have to pay for my pals.
27
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,361
- Yeah, val, you've somehow
monetized friendship.
28
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,863
- I'm a very good friend.
29
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,365
- Yeah, I'm gonna go.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,033
- Look--no, wait!
Here's something fun,
31
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,769
Just for the pals...
Husband swap,
32
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,304
Who would you bangalang?
- What?
33
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:14,106
- I'm not gonna play this!
- Lionel, right?
34
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,040
- What the fuck did you
just say?!
35
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,476
- Okay, maybe I pushed
a button there.
36
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,043
- Yeah, this has been real.
Thanks.
37
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,013
- No wait! I got you something!
38
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,818
- (sighs) okay.
39
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,487
What is this?
40
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,856
- It's an invitation
to my birthday!
41
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,524
It's the big one!
42
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,360
- An invitation to nothing?
- Yeah, it's blank. (scoff)
43
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:38,330
- I was kinda hoping you two
could plan something.
44
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,065
- Ohhh!
- Oh wow.
45
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,102
- It'd be nice.
46
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,972
- We were just-we were already
uh, talking about it.
47
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,274
- Invite lionel.
- What the fuck?!
48
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,209
- You gotta stop that.
You gotta stop it.
49
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:58,082
♪♪♪
50
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,586
♪♪♪
51
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,355
(door slams, alarm beeps on)
52
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,957
- Hey!
53
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,558
- Hey, you ready to relax,
bitch?
54
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,360
- Oh! I really need this.
55
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,762
- I know, I wanna release
the fuck out of some tension.
56
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,230
- Hmm. Thank you for this.
57
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,400
- Helloooooo!
♪ it's my birthday
58
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,803
♪ on the day I was born
- how old is she even turning?
59
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,571
- I don't know, she said
it was "the big one."
60
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,707
- 40?
- No dude, like, the big one!
61
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,642
- 50? Not 65?
62
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,444
Val: Hello, it's my birthday!
- Huh?
63
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,179
Both: Happy birthday!
64
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,247
- Oh, my very best friend
is here!
65
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,117
And anne, too.
I'm so excited for a day
66
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,785
Of pampering with my girlies!
- Hmmm.
67
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,487
- Yeah. How'd you swing a rezzo
to this place?
68
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,455
I've been trying to get in here
since they opened.
69
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,324
- Oh, this place?
I um, actually, I didn't.
70
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,393
Yeah, it's a funny story, uh--
(booming bass plays in a car)
71
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,127
Yeah, well, that's not helping.
72
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,063
Very loud.
(booming rhythmic bass)
73
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,132
So look, sloane actually got
the reservation for this place,
74
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,467
I didn't want to tell you
75
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,101
'cause I thought you wouldn't
come,
76
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,869
And the whole book cover thing,
ancient history.
77
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,505
We can laugh about it now,
you know what I mean?
78
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,607
She-she probably doesn't even
remember, it's the truth.
79
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,510
Val: Sloane, I've heard
so much about you!
80
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,311
- Hey, bestseller.
81
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,216
- Okay, so she remembered,
but listen,
82
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,818
Just keep it together for val,
right?
83
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,054
Anne? Anne?
84
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,956
Anne? Anne?
85
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,425
- So, here we go.
86
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,694
We have aromatherapy,
deep tissue,
87
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,496
And thai massage.
- You hear that?
88
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,298
Maybe someone can finally
massage the bitch out of you.
89
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,366
- I'll massage the bitch
out of you.
90
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,168
- Good luck.
Symone: Ahem!
91
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:26,404
A gentle reminder that the club
has a whisper-only policy
92
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,408
To ensure peace and tranquility
for all our guests.
93
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,977
- Hey, what were you thinking
inviting her?
94
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,513
- Look, I know she's not
your favourite person.
95
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,514
- No shit! I'd rather
let jayme cut my hair
96
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,450
Than hang out with that
wide-awake nightmare.
97
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,852
I know you guys are co-workers,
but she sucks, dude.
98
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,121
She just says whatever
she's thinking. It's a lot.
99
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,523
- Yeah, it kinda reminds me
of another person in my life.
100
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,326
- Okay.
- Look, today is about val.
101
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,462
Okay? And whatever birthday
val is having.
102
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,631
So I need you to try,
all right?
103
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,734
Truth be told, I don't totally
know how to act
104
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,368
Around sloane today, either.
- What do you mean?
105
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,404
I thought you guys
were cool now.
106
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,539
- I um, I may have put us
in a...
107
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,009
Conflict of interest situation.
Hmm.
108
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,377
- What?
109
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,346
- Uh, let's just say there
was like, a fire,
110
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,449
And I put out the fire,
it's gone.
111
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,551
And I don't know
if I should tell her
112
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:15,086
About the fire
that I put out.
113
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,622
- I genuinely hate
your analogies.
114
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,290
- Yeah.
- If there's no fire,
115
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,925
Why sound the alarm?
- Right. Exactly.
116
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,095
I'm not gonna tell her.
- Great. Okay.
117
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,763
Let's go get pretzeled
by some russians.
118
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,231
- Yeah.
119
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,168
(soft music plays)
120
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:33,971
- No need to stay so north
of the border, my good man.
121
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,973
- Typically we start
with the shoulders.
122
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,376
- Do whatever you need to do
to get the tension out.
123
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,645
Remember, this body
is a wonderland.
124
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,914
- You know, I'm not really
supposed to say this,
125
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,784
But you have beautiful
shoulders.
126
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,686
- Yeah, yeah,
just get the job done.
127
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,589
- What do you think
of these shoulders?
128
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,525
- Uh, they're-they're fine.
129
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,927
- Fine, or like... Fiiine?
130
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,030
- Can you focus on my neck,
that's where I hold
131
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,598
All my tension.
Masseur: Mm-hmm.
132
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,001
- Speaking of tension,
did you see the look
133
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,536
On anne's face when
you walked up?
134
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,604
What got a bee in her bonnet?
135
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,807
- Don't get me wrong,
I love me a sour bitch,
136
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,742
But I prefer the fun kind.
137
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,277
Unfortunately, she never
holds back, you know?
138
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,613
- Yeah, I know.
139
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,351
- You have absolutely
incredible skin elasticity.
140
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,119
It's-it's like touching
a newborn.
141
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,754
- So I've been told.
142
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,725
- I too am... Hot?
143
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,727
- Oh, I can adjust
the temperature for you.
144
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,196
Masseur: Ooh! And your arms,
they're so supple.
145
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,236
- (sighs heavily)
146
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,638
- Oh, my good man,
are you hard?
147
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,774
- No, no.
- Well, yes, you are,
148
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,475
I can see it,
hard as a rock.
149
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,310
It's all right,
perfectly natural.
150
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,779
I'm sure it happens with
all the beautiful women.
151
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:51,016
You're excited,
the blood is flowing.
152
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,451
- I'm absolutely not excited.
- Yes, you are.
153
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,454
I can see it.
154
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,322
Hard like a rock.
155
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,160
♪♪♪
156
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,328
(water laps gently)
157
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,332
- This water's so warm, huh?
158
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,935
It's so nice.
159
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,270
How you doin', you been good?
160
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,172
- What's going on?
- (laughs) nothing.
161
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,340
Nothing, I'm just-I'm just
having fun,
162
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:17,876
I'm just making some
conversation.
163
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,810
- Kate.
- Uh, there was a fire.
164
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,613
- Where?
- It's out.
165
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,582
It's totally out,
and because it's out,
166
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,583
We don't need to tell anyone
about the fire, right?
167
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,519
I don't gotta tell anybody.
- For fuck's sake.
168
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,487
Is this a metaphor?
- Yes, sorry, uh,
169
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,289
But I really would
like your blessing
170
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,391
To not talk about the fire.
- At this point I would pay you
171
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,993
To stop talking about the fire.
- What fire?
172
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,194
(nervous chuckle)
173
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,095
Good. Yeah.
174
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,301
Hey, should be in the hot tub?
175
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,903
You know with the whole uh...
176
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,704
- Oh, the whole baby thing?
- Yeah.
177
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,640
- It's not a problem.
It didn't take.
178
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,576
- Oh shit, dude, I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
179
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,578
- You could try again,
you know.
180
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,279
- No, I'm good.
181
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,850
- Hey!
- (val sighs)
182
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,421
- Oh! Look at the ass
on that one.
183
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,257
What I wouldn't give
for an industrial-sized
184
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,691
Dump truck like that.
185
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,860
- To val!
- To val!
186
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,561
- Shhhh!
187
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,298
(water babbles softly)
188
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,567
(faint calming music)
189
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,137
- (sighs heavily)
did you take a day off
190
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,040
From ruining authors' lives
today, sloane?
191
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,175
- (nervous chuckle) you said
you were gonna try, anne.
192
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,610
- You got something to say
to me there, red?
193
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,079
- Yeah, I might.
- Or are you just gonna slap me?
194
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,948
- I thought this was gonna be
a close friends-only
195
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,816
Kind of party, I didn't think
that someone who humiliated me
196
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,952
On tv was gonna be invited!
- Shhh!
197
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,421
- Sorry, you think you
were humiliated?!
198
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,623
My ass was on the line
when you and bestie over here
199
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,526
Pulled that stunt in front
of the board, and for what?
200
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,695
Middling sales at best?
201
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,630
- Oh, maybe if you were better
at your job,
202
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,532
You wouldn't need to rely
on hack marketing!
203
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,501
- Yeah, well, maybe if you
weren't such an asshole
204
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,202
All the time, we wouldn't have
to resort to "hack marketing."
205
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,071
- Oh, really?!
- Really!
206
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,174
- Ladies! Just a gentle
reminder to lower your voices.
207
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,776
- Totally, loud and clear,
sorry.
208
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,514
- Do you know what, I didn't
come here to be attacked!
209
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,850
- Oh, uh--did you just splash
a black woman's hair?
210
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,718
What, are you fuckin' nine?!
211
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,586
- You happy ruining
val's birthday?!
212
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,788
- No, no, no getting older
ruined my birthday.
213
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,790
You're just snuffing out
the candles.
214
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,425
- Shhh!
- Oh...
215
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,062
(in unison) you fuckin' shush!
- Who invited you, anyways?!
216
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,863
- I don't think I did
anything wrong here.
217
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,732
- Okay, now I have to ask
you to leave.
218
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,567
- Yeah. All right, we're goin'.
- Yeah, let's go!
219
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,602
- You wanna go? You wanna go?
- No, no!
220
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,604
- Let's fuckin' go!
- Let's go!
- I'm out!
221
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,074
- You stop it!
- Stop it, we're out!
222
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,508
- You stop it!
- We're out! We're out!
223
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,476
I never get to go
in hot tubs.
224
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,779
I never get to go in hot tubs,
ever!
225
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,617
Raffic rumbles, horns honk)
226
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,352
(low hum of patron chatter)
227
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,488
(silverware clinks)
228
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,328
(low hum of patron chatter)
229
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,030
- Okay, this is super
depressing.
230
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,365
Guys, why don't we just start
by apologizing
231
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,033
For what happened back there,
okay?
232
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,868
Anne?
233
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,539
Sloane?
- Fine, I'm... I'm sorry.
234
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,308
- For?
235
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,177
- Spending time with anne
in the first place.
236
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,445
- No.
237
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,247
- This is the worst day
of my life.
238
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,649
It is!
239
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,652
You know, this is supposed
to be my last good year,
240
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,720
And frankly,
what's good about it?
241
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,057
I work, come home, bang mel
within an inch of his life,
242
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,459
Go to bed, repeat.
243
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:22,994
- You have sex every day?
244
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,863
- You get to be my age...
- And that age is...?
245
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,066
- And nothing is really
exciting anymore.
246
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:32,203
Remember how fun birthdays
were when you were a kid?
247
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,405
The thrill of a clown.
248
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,875
The magic of a bouncy castle.
249
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,811
Playing truth or dare.
250
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,283
Then suddenly you find yourself
eating lightly salted lettuce
251
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,087
In a desperate attempt to hang
on to any semblance of youth.
252
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,724
Ohh!
253
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,363
Now, that looks delicious.
254
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,233
What I wouldn't give
for a bite of that.
255
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,035
- I cannot take this shit
anymore.
256
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,270
I dare you to go take a bite
out of that man's sandwich.
257
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,772
- Pardon me?
- You heard me.
258
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,507
Walk over there,
259
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,175
You say hello,
260
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,445
Take a bite of that man's
sumptuous chicken parm sandie.
261
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,114
- Oh, I couldn't.
262
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,349
- (laughs) that's fine.
263
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:20,485
Why do anything exciting?
264
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,421
Might as well just quietly
slip into old age instead.
265
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:31,462
♪♪♪
266
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,064
- No.
- Yeah.
267
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,035
(sloane and val chuckle)
- oh shit!
268
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:44,608
♪♪♪
269
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,411
- Hello.
- Hi.
270
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,214
- It's my birthday.
- Okay, so happy--
271
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,915
Hey! What?!
- Mmm!
272
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,884
- Excuse me!
- Mmm!
273
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,086
Mm-hmm!
- What?
274
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,488
- Mm-hmm! Mmm!
- Huh?
275
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,189
- Mmmm! (moans)
276
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,524
- That must be a damn
good sandwich!
277
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:01,960
- That's my girl!
278
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,828
- Mmm! Meet you bitches
outside,
279
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,064
Let's get this party started,
huh?!
280
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,033
(cackles wildly)
281
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,001
- Dude, come on. Pay, pay, pay!
- What?
282
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,237
- You got it.
- I'm so sorry.
283
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,172
- You're sorry?
284
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,308
- Oh! Holy shit, I'm alive!
285
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,310
(all laugh)
286
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,579
- All right, ladies,
it is dare night...
287
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,448
In the middle
of the goddamn day.
288
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,583
Foster, you're up.
289
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,551
- Whaaat?
- Giddy-up, kate!
290
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,987
- Truth or dare, really?
291
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,189
I didn't realize I was
at one of alice's parties.
292
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,990
- Hey, no truth in this game.
293
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,259
- All right, all right,
all right, so what's my dare?
294
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,995
- (laughs) okay, okay, okay.
295
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,997
Uh... (laughs)
- what?
296
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,100
- I dare you to flash them.
297
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,335
- She's not gonna flash them.
- Who, them? I'll do it, yeah.
298
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,537
- What?
- Yeah, what are the parameters?
299
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:47,806
- Both nerps,
full ten mississippis.
300
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,208
- Well, that is the legal
measurement of time.
301
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,343
- You flash 'em, I'll moon 'em.
Solidarity.
302
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,678
- Ah, nah-uh-uh-uh, you've had
your moment, this is kate's.
303
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,013
- Can I count?
- Sure!
304
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,816
- This is my moment.
Anne: Oh my god.
305
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,619
(sloane and val giggle)
306
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,788
- Oh my lord!
- One mississippi.
307
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,857
Two mississippi.
- Little slow val, come on!
308
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,826
- Three mississippi.
- Is that a birthmark?
309
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,561
- Four mississippi.
310
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,563
- You want to count a little
faster? Pick up the pace!
311
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,198
What do you say? Come on!
- Five mississippi.
312
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,066
- Oh! Oh my god! Oh!
Anne: Hey! Hey!
313
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,201
You peeping tween!
What the fuck? Gimme that!
314
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,837
(glass shatters)
- that's my phone!
315
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,606
- It was an android, it's
probably gonna explode anyway.
316
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,174
♪ yeah
317
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,675
♪ hey
(come on)
318
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:25,977
♪ young rap girl
319
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,311
♪ this is the anthem, folks
320
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,913
♪ you know I'm known
to make 'em mad ♪
321
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,482
♪ it's the tantrum flow
322
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:31,950
♪ yeah, I hear a lot of talk
323
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,551
♪ and they're saying
this and that ♪
324
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,720
♪ look I'm gettin' real sick
about to tell 'em get the gat ♪
325
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,255
♪ make it nasty
he's sliding like skates ♪
326
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,258
♪ but lookin' like you wanna
eat, this is steak, yeah ♪
327
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,260
♪ I think you're choosin'
but know I got the option ♪
328
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,530
- (deep inhale, growl)
- (children scream)
329
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,932
♪ I need one for the money
two times for the show ♪
330
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,900
♪ this is where
you take notes ♪
331
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,702
♪ on how to really kill a flow
332
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,671
♪ mix the henny with the coke
make the room move slow ♪
333
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,073
♪ speed it up and make the club,
buss it down to the floor ♪
334
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,477
♪ wait, holler, I think I got
the next dude on the way ♪
335
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,679
- (gasps) lady!
- Oh, I'm just playin'.
336
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,581
I'm messin' with you,
she's gorgeous, by the way.
337
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,083
Congratulations,
congratulations.
338
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,085
Sloane: (laughs)
you crazy bitch!
339
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,721
(line rings)
- oh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
340
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,422
Yes, richard greenwood?
341
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,058
Congratulations, you are
our grand prize winner!
342
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,962
- Is this for the steaks?
Honey, we won the steaks! Huh!
343
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,430
(all laugh)
344
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,433
♪ buss it, buss it,
buss it, buss it ♪
345
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:24,002
♪ go ahead and buss it
346
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,703
♪ buss it, buss it, buss it
347
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:28,039
- Yes, I'd like to place
an order for ceecee mitchell.
348
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:31,008
Mm-hmm, I would like uh,
one beehive, please.
349
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,745
♪ go ahead and buss it
350
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,880
- (laughs wildly)
351
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,015
Aaah! (giggles)
352
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,385
(laughs, screams)
353
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,722
(screaming) oof!
354
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,325
♪ buss it, buss it,
buss it, buss it ♪
355
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,594
(music slows to a stop)
(birds chirp)
356
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,262
- (coughs, gasps)
357
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,131
(laughs) I'm okay!
358
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,599
♪ go ahead and buss it
359
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,801
♪ throw it in the mirror like
you do it out in public ♪
360
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,270
- Hello, is your refrigerator
running?
361
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,539
♪ she dig don't care
and they know we really... ♪
362
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,441
- Better go catch it!
(laughs)
363
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,243
(all jeering) booooo!
- What? It's a classic!
364
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,644
- That's terrible!
365
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,612
♪ go ahead and buss it,
buss it, buss it ♪
366
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,348
♪ buss it, buss it
buss it, buss it ♪
367
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,351
♪ go ahead and buss it,
buss it ♪
368
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,452
♪ go ahead and buss it,
buss it ♪
369
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,690
♪ buss it, buss it
buss it, buss it ♪
370
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,825
♪ go ahead and--
(all laugh)
371
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,160
- Oh my god!
- Ah! It's so good! So good.
372
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,630
- Oh! All right, dare master,
what do you got for anne?
373
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,065
- No, no, I'm good.
374
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,800
- No, come on, dude,
try something.
375
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:32,036
- Ah, okay, fine. But just
like, nothing too crazy.
376
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,440
- All right, uh,
I dare you to...
377
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,642
Take a little birdbath
in that fountain there.
378
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,478
- Okay, that's a reasonable
dare.
379
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,247
- Ooh, then we all
get to make a wish!
380
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,515
- I mean, and spend the rest
of the day soaking wet?
381
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,117
No way!
- Right, no fun.
382
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,785
- No!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
383
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,255
- Okay, well, nobody else
complained, but fair enough.
384
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,424
Let's play to your strengths.
Uh...
385
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,863
I dare you to go up
to that guy
386
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,798
And give him your uncensored
opinion of him.
387
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,633
Should be easy enough for you.
388
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,535
- Unlike some people,
I don't go around
389
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:07,805
Giving my unsolicited opinions
like a psycho! No!
390
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,107
- Are you unfamiliar
with the game? It's a dare.
391
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,343
- "are you unfamiliar
with the game?" no! No!
392
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,877
Pick another one.
393
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,246
- Anne, you gotta do something,
come on.
394
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,148
- I knew she didn't have it
in her, can we skip her?
395
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,750
- No, I don't wanna be skipped,
I just want a fun, harmless
dare.
396
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:21,518
- Yeah.
- Okay, uh...
397
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,289
I got it.
398
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,890
- Mm-hmm? Okay.
- Come on, anne!
399
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,792
- I dare you to go give
that guy a kiss.
400
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,096
Val: (gasps) ohhhh! Oh!
(sloane chuckles)
401
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,165
- I-I'm not gonna cheat
on my husband for a dare.
402
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,467
And who knows what infectious
diseases that guy has!
403
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,503
No way!
- Oh my god, this is painful!
404
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,271
I'll do it.
405
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,139
- Wha--
- great, go.
406
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,877
- (frustrated exhale)
kate: Jesus.
407
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,845
- Hi.
Kate: Is she gonna...
408
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,447
(val giggles, gasps)
kate: Oh!
409
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,718
Oh!
410
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,853
It's steamy.
411
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,388
(shocked scoff)
412
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:03,594
♪♪♪
413
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,664
- (retches, vomits)
all: Ooh! Oh!
414
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,133
- Oh!
Sloane: (coughs)
415
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,507
- That bad, huh?
416
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,078
- Oh, that's nice.
417
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,250
♪♪♪
418
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,019
(traffic rumbles, horns honk)
419
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,553
(birds chirp)
420
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,556
- Pretty hot kiss,
minus the barf.
421
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,293
- Which is weird, because I
usually have an iron stomach.
422
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,594
- Oh, maybe you caught
something from bench guy.
423
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,099
- You know, we could call it.
- Are you kidding?
424
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:44,835
The fun just started!
425
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,703
That was a puke
and rally situation.
426
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,306
- Ah, pull the trig, and then
you're good to go, I love it.
427
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,108
- That's right, baby.
428
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,513
- Well...
429
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,981
At least you know
you're not pregnant.
430
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,650
- (laughs)
431
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,652
- You did take a pregnancy
test, right?
432
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,221
- I didn't need to, I know
my body, it's not spawning.
433
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,525
- Oh yeah, what does
"spawning" feel like?
434
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,260
- Tiny fingernails scratching.
- Mm-hmm.
435
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,595
(plastic bag rustles)
436
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,897
I got a dare for you.
437
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,134
- (snort laughs)
438
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,339
- I'll admit it, val,
the shirt was a good purchase.
439
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,540
Val: You want me to run back
and see if they have a small?
440
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,676
It would look good on you.
- No, I already got it, so.
441
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,545
- Hmm.
- What about a pair of... Hmm?
442
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,247
- No, I'm, I'm good.
443
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,848
- Hey, you good?
444
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,950
- Yeah, of course.
I'm not pregnant.
445
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,219
And in two minutes, this little
test will prove it.
446
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,020
- Okay, because if you are--
447
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,689
- I told you, I'm not.
I can't be.
448
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,691
- Well, those are two
different things.
449
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,493
- I'm not pregnant.
I shouldn't be, anyway.
450
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,296
- What do you mean?
451
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,231
- Well, I don't have what
it takes to be a mother.
452
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,366
- What?
- The fuck?!
453
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,401
Who the fuck told you that?
That doesn't sound like you.
454
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,071
- Not at all.
- Look, if you are pregnant,
455
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,906
Your kid's gonna be a dick,
just like you.
456
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,042
- Okay.
- What the fuck?
457
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,844
- That's a step backwards,
my friend.
458
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,180
- What I'm trying to say is,
the one thing I know
459
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,948
About difficult people...
- Excuse me?
460
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,385
- Is that we make great moms.
461
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,988
Headstrong, opinionated,
asshole women
462
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,524
Make headstrong, opinionated,
asshole kids.
463
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,226
And that's not a bad thing.
464
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,162
It's the one reason I know that
465
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,631
Alice is gonna be okay
in this world.
466
00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:24,602
- Well, I appreciate the pep
talk, ladies, but again,
467
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,537
Not pregnant.
- But if you are,
468
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,739
I'd throw money down
that you'd be great at it.
469
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,475
(traffic hums in the distance)
470
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,243
(birds chirp)
471
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,947
- Valeria! I almost forgot,
I got you something!
472
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,816
- Oh no, save your pregnancy
test, kate.
473
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,484
I love condoms.
- What?
474
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,319
- Yeah, can't get enough of 'em.
475
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,155
They just make it feel better.
476
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:45,690
You know, actually,
I'm addicted.
477
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,558
And honestly, I can't come
without 'em, call me nuts.
478
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,126
- I got you a cupcake.
479
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,761
- Oh my god, even better,
I love cupcakes.
480
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,430
- (laughs)
I know it's not a cake,
481
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,565
But I figured a-a birthday
of um...
482
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,367
This magnitude...
- Oh, yes!
483
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,269
- And that birthday is...
484
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,440
- Do neither of you know
how old I am?
485
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,309
- No, we do, we do,
we totally do.
486
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,277
We just were hoping you
were gonna say it.
487
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,913
- Good, so you know
I'm turning...
488
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,515
- 38.
- 50.
489
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,417
- Did you just say 70?
- Did you say 28?
490
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,385
- No, I said 38.
- 38?
491
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,221
I thought you said
it was the big one!
492
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,457
- It is the big one. Well,
the big one before the big one.
493
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,659
- Well, that's--
- 38 is your last good year.
494
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,794
39 is just a slip 'n slide
to 40.
495
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,063
And 40 is the big, big one.
496
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,398
And then it's a crapshoot
after that.
497
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,300
Oh god, I've depressed myself.
498
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,669
(horns honk, traffic rumbles)
499
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:36,273
♪♪♪
500
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,010
- Fuck it!
- Where you goin'?
501
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,344
- Anne.
502
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,013
Anne!
503
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,015
What?
504
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,151
What- aaah!
- Do it!
505
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,354
Val: Wooooooo!
Kate: Oh my god!
506
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,489
(horn honks)
- (laughs)
507
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,092
(all cheer)
woooooooooo!
508
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,427
- Are you happy now?
509
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,995
- Not as happy as you are,
510
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,363
Look at that smile
on your face!
511
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,498
Crazy bitch!
512
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:08,472
♪♪♪
513
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,441
(crickets chirp)
514
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,711
(light buzzes on)
515
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,346
♪♪♪
516
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,649
♪ I'm lost in the light
517
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,051
♪ I pray for the night
518
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,720
(door creaks open and shut)
519
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,989
♪ take me, take me too
520
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,793
(keys jingle)
521
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,728
♪ after so many words
522
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,097
♪ still nothin's heard
523
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:39,136
♪ don't know what
we should do ♪
524
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,740
♪ so if someone could
see me now ♪
525
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:43,206
♪ let them see you
(light clicks on)
526
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,442
♪ let them see you
(light clicks on)
527
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:49,146
♪♪♪
528
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,015
♪ they help you to
529
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,351
♪ see you through
530
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,489
♪ all the hard things
531
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,724
♪ we've all gotta do
532
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,028
♪ because this life is long
533
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:06,497
♪ and so you wouldn't be wrong