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Kate: Previously on
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"Workin' Moms:"
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- You should take her.
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- What?!
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- I don't think I was supposed
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to be a mom.
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- He's a scumbag mind molester!
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- This is never going to trial.
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[Anne] There's a job
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at the university,
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and they need a therapist,
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and I'm applying,
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so I can you know, get even.
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- How much is school?
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- It's 10k.
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- 10k.
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- I think we need to go
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to therapy.
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We have to figure out how
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to parent together, right?
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- Oh, there she is.
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Oh my God!
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(Cell phone chimes)
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- Wha...
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(Groans)
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Oh God. Hey.
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Hey, you've gotta wake up.
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Hey!
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- Five more minutes.
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- No more minutes, dude,
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you gotta go.
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- Oh man, I fell asleep.
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- Mhmm.
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- I so wanted you to experience
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all the "Fast and Furiouses".
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We can watch them next time,
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right?
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- Y-yeah, next time for sure,
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come on, let's go.
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- Get out before my kids
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wake up.
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- I mean it, come on.
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- You know, I could help.
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Kids like me; they think
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I'm one of them.
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- Yeah? That's sweet,
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but I don't introduce guys
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I date to my kids.
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Not that I date a lot of guys.
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And not that we're dating,
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just...
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your deal is supposed to be
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to come over at 11,
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and you're gone by...
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Hello?
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- They're huge.
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- Oh yeah, that's Ella's
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breakfast right there,
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they're pretty full.
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Mm, go ahead.
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(Splashes)
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Uh...
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are you...
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- That kinda made me hard.
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I want more.
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- What?! No!
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- Come on, give me a sip,
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it's hot. It's so hot.
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- You are not going to be
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breastfed by me.
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- Yes, I will.
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♪ Listen to me
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listen to me ♪
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♪ Straight up ♪
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(Door opens, footsteps thud)
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(Kate sighs)
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- Thanks for showing up.
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- This wasn't exactly
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convenient, okay?
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Maybe-maybe next time you could
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just handle this yourself.
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- It's couple's therapy.
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Both of us being here
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is kinda the key thing, so...
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- Yeah well, we're both here
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because of you.
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- Right.
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- So...
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- Thank you for being here.
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And thank you for letting me
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see Ella.
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She's absolutely perfect.
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- I know.
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- How's breastfeeding going,
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by the way?
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Does she get enough?
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- What? Why would you ask that?
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Why wouldn't she be getting
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enough?
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She's getting so much,
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she's getting all of it,
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no one else is.
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- Are you breastfeeding
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somebody else?
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- No! Why would I-who would
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possibly
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get turned on by the...
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- Turned on?
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- No! Ugh! (Chuckles)
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I'm with you,
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I don't find it arousing.
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- Are you seeing somebody else?
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- No. Are you?
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- No.
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- All right.
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Then stop asking so many
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questions and just like,
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chill out, you know, just...
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take it down a notch.
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- Gee, I just...
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- Look, I'm happy you wanna be
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more involved with the kids.
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'Cause we are in this
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co-parenting thing together.
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But let's just focus
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on the kids, okay?
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- I agree.
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In fact, I was hoping
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to ask you
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if I could take them tonight.
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- Tonight? Oh, uh, yeah.
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I actually could
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really use the break.
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Thanks.
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- Great.
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- Great.
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This is not a junkyard,
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it's a garage.
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You know? (Laughs)
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- Is that from something?
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- "The Fast and Furious".
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Six.
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Or is it Nine?
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- "Tokyo Drift".
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- Oh, shut up, Carl!
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(Cars rumble)
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Anne: Outside of being
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a psychiatrist,
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I have firsthand experience
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with what's happened
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at the school.
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I have the potential
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to be very effective
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with these students.
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- I know, but the last thing
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I need is a therapist
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who's still going through
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her own trauma.
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- My trauma's an asset to you.
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- Or a liability.
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- I'm fine!
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Look, you will not find someone
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more motivated than me
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for this position,
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I can promise you that.
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- Do you know what you're
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getting into with these kids?
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- I do, yeah.
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- Okay...
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let's try this.
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- Thank you,
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you won't be disappointed.
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- I hope not.
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Jenny: Well, your business
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is important to us,
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so let me just ask.
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(Hum of excited chatter)
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Wait.
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(Phone rings)
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I gotta call you back.
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(Excited chatter)
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Woman: You're so sweet!
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Gena: Thank you.
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Woman: Hi! Look at his hair!
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(All laughing, murmuring)
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- Excuse me. Sorry.
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Woman: Aw, he's such a good boy!
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- Ahem!
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- Hey, loser!
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- Gena, I heard you were coming
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back to work, but I...
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Wow, are you pregnant again?
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- Five months,
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and Luca just turned one.
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Okay, get back to work.
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It was good to see you guys.
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Say buh-bye.
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- (Laughs nervously)
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- But honestly,
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bring it on, bitch!
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I love being a mom.
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- Yeah, it's so great.
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- I'm sorry for getting
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on your case before.
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- Um...
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- About not having fun.
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I get it now.
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Having a family is so much
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more fulfilling
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than going to some stupid club.
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- Mhmm...
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- So how's Zoe?
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She must be so big now.
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- She is.
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- Yeah? You got pics?
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- Yeah, sure...
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- Oh, isn't she like,
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one there?
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- No, no,
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she just looks young.
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Yeah, just Asian genes.
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- Oh, well, I'd love
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to see her.
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- Yeah, me too.
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- What?
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- I would love for you
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to see her.
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- Hey, I'm in this moms group,
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and tonight we're letting
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the babies try lemons
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for the first time, yes!
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They don't know
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what sour tastes like.
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It's gonna be fun.
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You should come, bring Zoe.
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- Yeah, um...
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I'm there!
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- Great!
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(Cars rumble)
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- Oh, morning guys, what up?
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What's the hot goss?
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Uh oh, bad goss?
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- You haven't paid anyone yet.
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We thought we were gonna
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get our cheques yesterday,
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and we didn't, again.
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- We do have cash coming in,
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it just might take a little
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bit longer...
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uh, to get the invoices issued.
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- We can't afford to keep
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working for nothing, Kate.
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- I hear you. I do, okay?
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And you will get paid
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by the end of the week.
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- Really? How?
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- Yeah.
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Um, I haven't 100% figured
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that out yet,
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but I will.
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And it's gonna be raining
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cash up here.
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(Door slams)
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♪♪♪
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(Knocking)
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- Oh, come in.
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Nick, thank you so much for
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coming in on such short notice.
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- Oh, well, I was happy
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to get your call.
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This rhino love-fest
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is getting outta hand.
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Last night, a bunch of
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protesters attacked my store.
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They covered the windows
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in red paint.
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And they defaced the
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"Midsummer Madness Sale"
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banners to read,
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"Murder Madness Satan."
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You gotta help me out.
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- Uh, I certainly can,
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however in return,
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I am gonna require my fee
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paid up front.
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- Sure, whatever.
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- Great.
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- I need to people to know
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that Nick Peterson
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is a good guy.
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- All right.
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- People like me.
293
00:07:18,797 --> 00:07:20,463
My customers like me.
294
00:07:18,797 --> 00:07:20,463
- Okay.
295
00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:22,505
- I got you a peach muffin.
296
00:07:25,171 --> 00:07:26,922
- Uh, thank you.
297
00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:28,296
Okay. So...
298
00:07:29,839 --> 00:07:31,422
here's what I propose we do.
299
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:33,005
- Is this gonna take a long
300
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:33,005
time to explain?
301
00:07:33,046 --> 00:07:35,213
Because I'm parked
302
00:07:33,046 --> 00:07:35,213
in a handicapped spot.
303
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,630
- Oh, uh, no.
304
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,630
Um, basically,
305
00:07:37,672 --> 00:07:39,171
I'm gonna set up
306
00:07:37,672 --> 00:07:39,171
a press conference,
307
00:07:39,213 --> 00:07:40,880
you'll talk to the media,
308
00:07:40,922 --> 00:07:42,797
we'll offer them
309
00:07:40,922 --> 00:07:42,797
an olive branch.
310
00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:44,755
- What kind of olive branch?
311
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,380
- The money kind.
312
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,463
Stick to the talking points
313
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,463
we went over,
314
00:07:48,505 --> 00:07:50,213
take your time,
315
00:07:48,505 --> 00:07:50,213
you're gonna be fine.
316
00:07:50,255 --> 00:07:52,046
- Kate, if this works,
317
00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,171
I'm gonna give you our
318
00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,171
employee discount for life.
319
00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,839
- That is very kind, but the
320
00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,839
amount we agreed on is fine.
321
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,755
Oh, let's keep those finger
322
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,755
guns in their holsters, okay?
323
00:07:59,797 --> 00:08:01,588
- Okay.
324
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,672
- Kate, hi!
325
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,672
- Oh my God!
326
00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:06,338
- Dana, River's mom
327
00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:06,338
from nursery school, hi.
328
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:08,296
- Of course! I never forget
329
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:08,296
the cool moms, how are you?
330
00:08:08,338 --> 00:08:09,672
- I didn't know that you
331
00:08:08,338 --> 00:08:09,672
were in journalism.
332
00:08:09,714 --> 00:08:11,797
- Oh I'm not,
333
00:08:09,714 --> 00:08:11,797
I'm actually in um, PR.
334
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,130
- Really? For Peterson?
335
00:08:14,171 --> 00:08:16,422
- Uh... y-yeah.
336
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:20,130
It's sort of a last minute
337
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:20,130
impartial kinda thing-ama-jing.
338
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:22,422
Nick: Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
339
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:22,422
- Yeah, yeah, get up there.
340
00:08:22,463 --> 00:08:23,964
- Excuse me, ladies
341
00:08:22,463 --> 00:08:23,964
and gentlemen!
342
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,714
(Sighs)
343
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,088
(Camera shutters click)
344
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,630
Guess what?
345
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,630
I shot a rhinoceros.
346
00:08:35,672 --> 00:08:37,171
- Oh God.
347
00:08:37,213 --> 00:08:39,505
- I stalked the beast
348
00:08:37,213 --> 00:08:39,505
for three days,
349
00:08:39,547 --> 00:08:42,630
through unforgiving terrain,
350
00:08:39,547 --> 00:08:42,630
and scorching heat.
351
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,797
In a nutshell, it was...
352
00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:50,255
the greatest experience
353
00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:50,255
of my life!
354
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:51,588
- Ahem!
355
00:08:55,213 --> 00:08:57,088
- Okay.
356
00:08:57,130 --> 00:08:59,380
I am not a monster.
357
00:08:59,422 --> 00:09:01,046
And to prove it...
358
00:09:01,088 --> 00:09:03,422
- Say it.
359
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:05,380
- I am donating ten percent
360
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:05,380
of last year's...
361
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:07,964
sales revenue
362
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:10,171
to the United Rhino Fund.
363
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:11,964
- There you go.
364
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:11,964
All right.
365
00:09:12,005 --> 00:09:13,255
Nick: Thanks so much,
366
00:09:12,005 --> 00:09:13,255
thank you.
367
00:09:13,296 --> 00:09:15,005
(Applause)
368
00:09:13,296 --> 00:09:15,005
- Oh my God.
369
00:09:16,296 --> 00:09:18,213
- Ahem.
370
00:09:18,255 --> 00:09:19,630
You're late.
371
00:09:21,005 --> 00:09:22,505
- I got the goods.
372
00:09:22,547 --> 00:09:24,130
(Paper flutter)
373
00:09:26,588 --> 00:09:28,338
Oh. (Laughs)
374
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:29,797
Guess you don't want these.
375
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,755
Unless you do?
376
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,755
- Dammit, Juniper!
377
00:09:34,797 --> 00:09:36,588
I am serious!
378
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:38,714
You're asking me
379
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:38,714
for a lot of money.
380
00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:40,839
What is this?
381
00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:40,839
It's a total mess!
382
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,046
Is this the seventh grade?!
383
00:09:44,588 --> 00:09:46,338
- Oh, that's my book report
384
00:09:44,588 --> 00:09:46,338
on "Huck Finn".
385
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:48,880
- It's a title page,
386
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:48,880
and a zero.
387
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,171
- Yeah, I didn't read the book.
388
00:09:51,213 --> 00:09:53,130
- This is not great
389
00:09:51,213 --> 00:09:53,130
reassurance.
390
00:09:53,171 --> 00:09:56,088
- I'm sorry, okay, I went
391
00:09:53,171 --> 00:09:56,088
to university for two years,
392
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,714
there's good stuff in here.
393
00:09:57,755 --> 00:09:59,755
You know, plus I had to keep
394
00:09:57,755 --> 00:09:59,755
my grades up
395
00:09:59,797 --> 00:10:02,088
to stay on the swim team.
396
00:09:59,797 --> 00:10:02,088
- Prove it.
397
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,797
I want report cards.
398
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,797
I want tuition breakdowns.
399
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:06,922
A price list of all
400
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:06,922
your materials,
401
00:10:06,964 --> 00:10:08,672
as well as all the classes
402
00:10:06,964 --> 00:10:08,672
you're taking,
403
00:10:08,714 --> 00:10:10,463
or I'm not loaning you a dime.
404
00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:13,714
Organize this.
405
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:19,296
♪♪♪
406
00:10:19,338 --> 00:10:20,880
- Okay, thank you.
407
00:10:20,922 --> 00:10:22,422
Thank you both for hanging
408
00:10:20,922 --> 00:10:22,422
in there with me,
409
00:10:22,463 --> 00:10:23,922
I really appreciate it.
410
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:25,255
Oh, while you're headed
411
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:25,255
to the fridge,
412
00:10:25,296 --> 00:10:26,463
any chance you could put my---
413
00:10:26,505 --> 00:10:28,714
Ah, Rosie. Yes.
414
00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:30,797
Rosie, Rosie, Rosie.
415
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,422
Milady, thank you very much.
416
00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:35,463
And actually,
417
00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:35,463
while you're headed out,
418
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:37,463
do you mind putting this
419
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:37,463
in the--(Ripping sound)
420
00:10:37,505 --> 00:10:39,088
What?! What are you--
421
00:10:37,505 --> 00:10:39,088
what are you doing?!
422
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,755
- I don't want your rhino
423
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,755
blood money!
424
00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:42,588
That guy is evil!
425
00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:42,588
- No!
426
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,296
I had him make a very
427
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,296
serious donation--
428
00:10:44,338 --> 00:10:46,839
- He trophy-hunted
429
00:10:44,338 --> 00:10:46,839
an endangered species!
430
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,380
- Outside of that, though,
431
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,380
he's really quite nice.
432
00:10:48,422 --> 00:10:50,630
Forrest: Yo, check it!
433
00:10:48,422 --> 00:10:50,630
- Oh God!
434
00:10:50,672 --> 00:10:52,588
- Nick Peterson sent this over.
435
00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:54,380
- I'm in hell. This is hell!
436
00:10:54,422 --> 00:10:56,338
I quit. I quit!
437
00:10:54,422 --> 00:10:56,338
- No, Rosie, no!
438
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:59,422
- I quit! I quit! Quit!
439
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:59,422
(Shrieks, sobs)
440
00:10:59,463 --> 00:11:01,505
- Rosie, please!
441
00:10:59,463 --> 00:11:01,505
Oh my God.
442
00:11:01,547 --> 00:11:03,380
- You know, I think
443
00:11:01,547 --> 00:11:03,380
she'll be back.
444
00:11:03,422 --> 00:11:05,422
- (Sighs)
445
00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,755
(Train rumbles)
446
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,171
(Folder thuds lightly)
447
00:11:09,213 --> 00:11:10,922
- It's all there.
448
00:11:10,964 --> 00:11:12,672
I divided it up into sections.
449
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,672
You've got transcripts,
450
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,672
report cards,
451
00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:17,880
course lists, and the actual
452
00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:17,880
student loan application.
453
00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:20,338
So that you're not frontin'
454
00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:20,338
'til you're dead.
455
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,547
- Oh, you got a nice string
456
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,547
of B's here in math.
457
00:11:22,588 --> 00:11:24,505
- Mathlete in Grade Twelve.
458
00:11:24,547 --> 00:11:26,839
- Vice President
459
00:11:24,547 --> 00:11:26,839
of the Student Council?
460
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,630
- I added like, three soda
461
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,630
machines to the cafet-teria.
462
00:11:29,672 --> 00:11:31,672
- Well, that's not the most
463
00:11:29,672 --> 00:11:31,672
healthy choice.
464
00:11:31,714 --> 00:11:34,714
- Come on, man,
465
00:11:31,714 --> 00:11:34,714
this is important to me.
466
00:11:34,755 --> 00:11:36,547
I need to finish this year
467
00:11:34,755 --> 00:11:36,547
so I can graduate,
468
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:38,422
and get my Bachelor's.
469
00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:40,797
- You're taking business?
470
00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:40,797
- Yeah.
471
00:11:40,839 --> 00:11:43,296
I wanna like be able to be
472
00:11:40,839 --> 00:11:43,296
my own boss, and shit.
473
00:11:43,338 --> 00:11:45,088
Run shit.
474
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:47,463
Like you.
475
00:11:47,505 --> 00:11:48,672
I can do this.
476
00:11:48,714 --> 00:11:50,964
I will do this.
477
00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:52,880
My future's in your hands.
478
00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:54,422
- Okay.
479
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:58,005
I had Rocky, my lawyer,
480
00:11:58,046 --> 00:12:00,964
go over this very temporary
481
00:11:58,046 --> 00:12:00,964
loan agreement.
482
00:12:03,213 --> 00:12:04,630
- Whoa.
483
00:12:05,964 --> 00:12:08,714
Hey, um... you know,
484
00:12:05,964 --> 00:12:08,714
don't worry,
485
00:12:08,755 --> 00:12:10,547
because I got a waitressing job,
486
00:12:10,588 --> 00:12:12,588
so I'm gonna be able to pay
487
00:12:10,588 --> 00:12:12,588
you back really soon.
488
00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:14,630
- Just pay me back when
489
00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:14,630
your loan comes in.
490
00:12:18,046 --> 00:12:19,463
- (Sighs) Thank you.
491
00:12:20,547 --> 00:12:22,672
- (Sighs)
492
00:12:22,714 --> 00:12:24,255
(Cars rumble)
493
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,755
(Knocking)
494
00:12:29,797 --> 00:12:31,880
(Door creaks open)
495
00:12:31,922 --> 00:12:33,922
- I got your text.
496
00:12:33,964 --> 00:12:35,839
You are not taking our daughter
497
00:12:33,964 --> 00:12:35,839
to a lemon party.
498
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,255
That's disgusting.
499
00:12:37,296 --> 00:12:39,005
- What? Why?
500
00:12:39,046 --> 00:12:41,130
It's just a bunch of babies
501
00:12:39,046 --> 00:12:41,130
tasting lemons,
502
00:12:41,171 --> 00:12:42,672
and we record them.
503
00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:46,380
- That's not what it said
504
00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:46,380
"lemon party" means online.
505
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:49,296
I have to clear
506
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:49,296
my browser history.
507
00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:52,088
Why is taking her to this lemon
508
00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:52,088
thing such a big deal suddenly?
509
00:12:53,463 --> 00:12:55,046
- I don't know.
510
00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:56,964
Because I wanna reconnect maybe?
511
00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:00,213
- You have to pardon
512
00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:00,213
the suspicion.
513
00:13:00,255 --> 00:13:02,213
You've been basically MIA
514
00:13:00,255 --> 00:13:02,213
for months.
515
00:13:02,255 --> 00:13:04,839
- Yes! I have been
516
00:13:02,255 --> 00:13:04,839
a terrible mom.
517
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,714
But I wanna be better,
518
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,714
and that's the point.
519
00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:11,463
- (Sighs heavily)
520
00:13:13,088 --> 00:13:15,088
Is there going to be drugs
521
00:13:13,088 --> 00:13:15,088
or booze there?
522
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,338
- Drugs? Seriously, Ian.
523
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,422
- You have to feed her dinner.
524
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,422
I want her home by 8:30,
525
00:13:20,463 --> 00:13:22,296
and I want Gena's phone number,
526
00:13:22,338 --> 00:13:23,463
and an address
527
00:13:22,338 --> 00:13:23,463
of where you're going.
528
00:13:23,505 --> 00:13:26,505
- What?!
529
00:13:23,505 --> 00:13:26,505
- Those are my terms.
530
00:13:26,547 --> 00:13:27,964
- Fine.
531
00:13:28,005 --> 00:13:33,839
♪♪♪
532
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,505
- Dr. Carlson?
533
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,505
- Hmm?
534
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,088
- Are you available now?
535
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,880
We have a drop-in
536
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,880
by the name of Sandy.
537
00:13:38,922 --> 00:13:40,880
- Yes, absolutely.
538
00:13:38,922 --> 00:13:40,880
Send her in.
539
00:13:44,005 --> 00:13:46,630
Ahem... Sandy.
540
00:13:47,839 --> 00:13:49,171
- Yeah, uh, hi.
541
00:13:50,714 --> 00:13:52,088
- I didn't realize
542
00:13:50,714 --> 00:13:52,088
that you were a--
543
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,547
- Well, it's a guy's name, too.
544
00:13:53,588 --> 00:13:55,422
- Hmm. Yeah, of course,
545
00:13:53,588 --> 00:13:55,422
come on in!
546
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,088
So what's been bothering you?
547
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,922
- Uh... well,
548
00:14:00,964 --> 00:14:02,672
I tried this dating app.
549
00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:06,171
And it was freaky for me,
550
00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:06,171
I mean, the, the things
551
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,755
that were coming out of these
552
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,755
girls' mouths--
553
00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:09,839
- Women.
554
00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:09,839
- Sorry?
555
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,588
- The mouths that
556
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,588
you're referring to,
557
00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:13,255
they belong to women.
558
00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:13,255
Girls are children.
559
00:14:13,296 --> 00:14:14,839
Are you interested in...
560
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,422
dating a child?
561
00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:19,839
- No! Um... like these,
562
00:14:21,171 --> 00:14:23,922
these women are fuckin'
563
00:14:21,171 --> 00:14:23,922
making fun of me online.
564
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,463
Like I can't even get a date.
565
00:14:26,505 --> 00:14:28,296
- And you think that
566
00:14:26,505 --> 00:14:28,296
you're entitled to one?
567
00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:30,588
- I mean, maybe, but I just...
568
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:33,505
I just want a chance, you know,
569
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:33,505
like, but I don't think...
570
00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:35,130
I-I don't the right things
571
00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:35,130
to say to get--
572
00:14:35,171 --> 00:14:36,505
- To get what?
573
00:14:36,547 --> 00:14:38,338
To get them to have sex
574
00:14:36,547 --> 00:14:38,338
with you?
575
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,130
- You're fuckin'--
576
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,130
you're-you're...
577
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,046
you're just like
578
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,046
the rest of them.
579
00:14:45,088 --> 00:14:46,755
- "Them?!"
580
00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:49,922
Them?
581
00:14:55,213 --> 00:14:57,672
- Hey, how was your day?
582
00:14:55,213 --> 00:14:57,672
- Terrible.
583
00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:59,922
Thanks. Where's Jayme?
584
00:14:59,964 --> 00:15:01,338
- Upstairs, sleeping.
585
00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,588
Hey, how would you like
586
00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,588
to sprout wings,
587
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:04,964
and soar above the rooftops
588
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:04,964
of gay Paris?
589
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,797
- You're dying to tell me
590
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,797
about those stupid goggles,
591
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,505
just tell me.
592
00:15:08,547 --> 00:15:10,255
- These "stupid goggles"
593
00:15:08,547 --> 00:15:10,255
allow you to immerse yourself
594
00:15:10,296 --> 00:15:11,922
in a completely different
595
00:15:10,296 --> 00:15:11,922
universe.
596
00:15:11,964 --> 00:15:14,130
I have been a majestic bird
597
00:15:11,964 --> 00:15:14,130
for the last hour.
598
00:15:14,171 --> 00:15:15,672
You've gotta try this!
599
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,672
- Not interested.
600
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:19,630
- Okay, well, maybe are you
601
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:19,630
interested as to why
602
00:15:19,672 --> 00:15:22,130
your husband made such a cool
603
00:15:19,672 --> 00:15:22,130
purchase on a weekday?
604
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,005
- Why do you need me to be
605
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,005
excited about this?
606
00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:27,588
- Well, um...
607
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:30,005
maybe because you're my wife,
608
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:30,005
and as my wife,
609
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:31,547
you might care what's going on
610
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:31,547
in your husband's life.
611
00:15:31,588 --> 00:15:34,046
- What is it you need me
612
00:15:31,588 --> 00:15:34,046
to be excited about?
613
00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:35,880
Your virtual reality?!
614
00:15:35,922 --> 00:15:37,463
- How about giving a shit
615
00:15:35,922 --> 00:15:37,463
about my new job?
616
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,046
You don't know what
617
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,046
I'm talking about!
618
00:15:42,088 --> 00:15:43,505
- Yes, I do!
619
00:15:42,088 --> 00:15:43,505
- No, you don't!
620
00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:44,964
- Yes, I do!
621
00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:44,964
- No, you don't!
622
00:15:45,005 --> 00:15:46,505
'Cause if you did you
623
00:15:45,005 --> 00:15:46,505
would've asked me about it,
624
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:48,880
But you didn't, because you
625
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:48,880
never listen to a word I say!
626
00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:50,672
Now if you'll excuse me,
627
00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:50,672
I have to migrate.
628
00:15:50,714 --> 00:15:52,714
- Lionel, you...
629
00:15:52,755 --> 00:15:54,922
You're late.
630
00:15:52,755 --> 00:15:54,922
- Rehearsal ran long.
631
00:15:54,964 --> 00:15:56,755
What's wrong with Dad?
632
00:15:56,797 --> 00:15:57,964
- He got a promotion.
633
00:15:56,797 --> 00:15:57,964
He's in Paris.
634
00:15:58,005 --> 00:16:00,046
He's being a bird,
635
00:15:58,005 --> 00:16:00,046
just let him enjoy it.
636
00:16:00,088 --> 00:16:02,171
- You know, I would've been
637
00:16:00,088 --> 00:16:02,171
on time if you'd let me
638
00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:04,714
take the subway like every--
639
00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:04,714
- Don't. Stop!
640
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,422
You know how I feel about that.
641
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,422
Okay? The subway is a--
642
00:16:07,463 --> 00:16:09,797
- Is an underground tin can
643
00:16:07,463 --> 00:16:09,797
full of perverts.
644
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:12,130
- You have been listening.
645
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,839
- Yes! You're the one who never
646
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,839
listens to me!
647
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,547
- Oh my God, I know! Okay?
648
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,547
I don't listen!
649
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:21,880
Argggghh!
650
00:16:22,922 --> 00:16:27,672
♪♪♪
651
00:16:27,714 --> 00:16:29,338
(Moms laugh)
652
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:33,005
- Oh, my God!
653
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:33,005
- OMG.
654
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:37,171
Tamsin does not like the lemon!
655
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:37,171
- Oh!
656
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,422
- Oh, she is so irritable
657
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,422
these days.
658
00:16:39,463 --> 00:16:41,505
- Ah, she's probably teething.
659
00:16:41,547 --> 00:16:43,171
Rub some vanilla extract
660
00:16:41,547 --> 00:16:43,171
on there,
661
00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:45,422
it quiets them right down.
662
00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:45,422
- Really?
663
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,255
Do you have any tips
664
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,255
for terrible sleepers?
665
00:16:47,296 --> 00:16:50,255
- Oh, put the portable crib
666
00:16:47,296 --> 00:16:50,255
in front of the TV,
667
00:16:50,296 --> 00:16:52,547
If she doesn't fall asleep,
668
00:16:50,296 --> 00:16:52,547
at least she'll be distracted.
669
00:16:52,588 --> 00:16:54,088
(Moms gasp)
670
00:16:52,588 --> 00:16:54,088
- You're like a pro!
671
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:57,255
- (Laughs)
672
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:57,255
[Zoe] Dah.
673
00:16:57,296 --> 00:16:59,588
- Oh. (Gasps)
674
00:16:59,630 --> 00:17:01,672
- Dirty.
675
00:16:59,630 --> 00:17:01,672
[Moms] Oh!
676
00:17:01,714 --> 00:17:05,213
- Oh my God, Zoe, girl,
677
00:17:01,714 --> 00:17:05,213
why didn't you tell me?
678
00:17:05,255 --> 00:17:07,130
- Is she potty trained?
679
00:17:07,171 --> 00:17:09,296
- I thought so.
680
00:17:09,338 --> 00:17:11,714
Oh, gosh. Shit.
681
00:17:11,755 --> 00:17:13,797
- You don't know if
682
00:17:11,755 --> 00:17:13,797
she's potty trained?
683
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:16,755
- Oh gosh,
684
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:16,755
this is so embarrassing.
685
00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:19,755
She just spends so much time
686
00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:19,755
with her Dad.
687
00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:21,255
- Hey, here,
688
00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:21,255
let me grab a towel.
689
00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:23,547
- Bad divorce, or?
690
00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:26,213
- Um, something like that.
691
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:29,296
He's just a lot.
692
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:29,296
Oh, thank you.
693
00:17:29,338 --> 00:17:31,255
- What do you mean, "a lot?"
694
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,130
- He made me give Gena's
695
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,130
address and phone number to him
696
00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:38,338
before he'd let us come here.
697
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,672
- Let you?!
698
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,672
No, that's awful.
699
00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:43,130
- He sounds controlling.
700
00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:43,130
Is he?
701
00:17:43,171 --> 00:17:45,755
- He is.
702
00:17:43,171 --> 00:17:45,755
- Really?
703
00:17:45,797 --> 00:17:47,755
That doesn't really sound
704
00:17:45,797 --> 00:17:47,755
like Ian.
705
00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,296
- Well, I guess you don't know
706
00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,296
him like I do.
707
00:17:50,338 --> 00:17:53,296
- Wait, he's not violent, is he?
708
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:56,296
- He has like, rage issues.
709
00:17:56,338 --> 00:17:58,588
- Rage issues? Oh my God!
710
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,296
I had no idea.
711
00:18:02,338 --> 00:18:04,630
Are you okay?
712
00:18:06,171 --> 00:18:09,630
- (Sighs)
713
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,130
- Jesus Christ, wait,
714
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,130
is he a YouTube star?
715
00:18:12,171 --> 00:18:15,130
(Cars rumble)
716
00:18:15,171 --> 00:18:18,422
(Gasps)
717
00:18:18,463 --> 00:18:21,380
- Well, well, an angel
718
00:18:18,463 --> 00:18:21,380
at my doorstep.
719
00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:23,046
- I gotta say, real nice place
720
00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:23,046
you got here.
721
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,505
Oh my God, this is your
722
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,505
parents' house!
723
00:18:30,547 --> 00:18:32,463
- Whoa, whoa, where you going?
724
00:18:30,547 --> 00:18:32,463
- This is your parents' house!
725
00:18:32,505 --> 00:18:34,046
- Whoa, whoa! Hey!
726
00:18:32,505 --> 00:18:34,046
Well, it's kinda my house too.
727
00:18:34,088 --> 00:18:35,964
- Because you're the son
728
00:18:34,088 --> 00:18:35,964
of your parents!
729
00:18:36,005 --> 00:18:37,922
Dude, why didn't you say you
730
00:18:36,005 --> 00:18:37,922
live with your Mom and Dad?
731
00:18:37,964 --> 00:18:39,422
- Well, it doesn't sound
732
00:18:37,964 --> 00:18:39,422
super cool, okay?
733
00:18:39,463 --> 00:18:41,547
And it's only temporary,
734
00:18:39,463 --> 00:18:41,547
and they're not here.
735
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,130
They're visiting my Great-Aunt
736
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,130
in Michigan all week.
737
00:18:44,338 --> 00:18:46,422
- Sex with you and me is like,
738
00:18:46,463 --> 00:18:47,755
inappropriate on the best
739
00:18:46,463 --> 00:18:47,755
of days,
740
00:18:47,797 --> 00:18:49,839
but in Richard's house?
741
00:18:47,797 --> 00:18:49,839
I can't!
742
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,922
- Kate, please!
743
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,922
Okay, I get why this is weird.
744
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,797
When we're at your place
745
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,797
we have to hide from the kids,
746
00:18:53,839 --> 00:18:55,839
and then when we're at work
747
00:18:53,839 --> 00:18:55,839
we have to hide
748
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,338
from everyone there.
749
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,338
There's nobody here but us.
750
00:18:57,380 --> 00:19:00,046
- I just feel like I've screwed
751
00:18:57,380 --> 00:19:00,046
up enough today.
752
00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:01,672
- Screwed up?
753
00:19:01,714 --> 00:19:03,255
You took a rhino killer's money
754
00:19:01,714 --> 00:19:03,255
and you gave it
755
00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:05,588
to the less fortunate.
756
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:07,213
You're basically a sexy
757
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:07,213
Robin Hood.
758
00:19:07,255 --> 00:19:09,505
- (Chuckles)
759
00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,213
- Let me be your Maid Marion.
760
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:14,171
- (Sighs)
761
00:19:14,213 --> 00:19:16,088
(Door creaks, slams)
762
00:19:19,255 --> 00:19:21,839
(Exhale heavily)
763
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,755
- Oh, just beat it
764
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,755
for a minute, for a sec!
765
00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:24,964
- Come on, just a taste, please?
766
00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:27,630
- Come on, no!
767
00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:27,630
Can you just be normal?!
768
00:19:27,672 --> 00:19:29,213
- You know it's not just
769
00:19:27,672 --> 00:19:29,213
for babies?
770
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,422
Like, bodybuilders chug it,
771
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,422
five bucks an ounce.
772
00:19:30,463 --> 00:19:32,547
- There's no way that's true.
773
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,422
- Oh no, I've been looking
774
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,422
it up online,
775
00:19:34,463 --> 00:19:36,380
and I think I know a way
776
00:19:34,463 --> 00:19:36,380
to make it hot for you.
777
00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:39,130
- No.
778
00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:39,130
- Gimme five seconds, okay?
779
00:19:39,171 --> 00:19:41,005
If you hate it,
780
00:19:39,171 --> 00:19:41,005
I'll never ask again.
781
00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:43,380
- You have one second.
782
00:19:43,422 --> 00:19:45,255
(Laughs) Okay!
783
00:19:45,296 --> 00:19:48,338
Easy.
784
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:53,171
Ooh! Ooh! Ah! Aaah!
785
00:19:53,213 --> 00:19:54,630
(Moans)
786
00:19:54,672 --> 00:19:56,588
(Door creaks, bangs)
787
00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:01,296
[Richard] Hello?
788
00:20:03,338 --> 00:20:06,005
- Is that your Dad?
789
00:20:03,338 --> 00:20:06,005
- Yeah.
790
00:20:06,046 --> 00:20:08,338
[Richard] Forrest, you home?
791
00:20:06,046 --> 00:20:08,338
- Oh my God!
792
00:20:11,463 --> 00:20:12,296
- Forrest?
793
00:20:12,338 --> 00:20:15,255
(Door creaks)
794
00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,213
Forrest!
795
00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,213
Hey! You're home!
796
00:20:22,505 --> 00:20:24,463
Why didn't you answer?
797
00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,547
- Uh, I was, I was sleeping.
798
00:20:26,588 --> 00:20:28,422
I'm-I'm-I'm sick.
799
00:20:29,547 --> 00:20:32,422
- Is that milk
800
00:20:29,547 --> 00:20:32,422
on your upper lip?
801
00:20:32,463 --> 00:20:34,714
- I thought you were in
802
00:20:32,463 --> 00:20:34,714
Michigan 'til Friday, Dad.
803
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,630
- I called your Aunt Ida's
804
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,630
bluff.
805
00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:38,672
Deathbed, my ass.
806
00:20:38,714 --> 00:20:40,714
God, it stinks in here.
807
00:20:40,755 --> 00:20:42,672
- Oh yeah, don't go--
808
00:20:40,755 --> 00:20:42,672
Dad? Uh...
809
00:20:42,714 --> 00:20:44,338
- Hey, the van Houtens have
810
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:45,797
finished their swimming pool,
811
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:45,797
huh?
812
00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:48,296
- Dad? Uh...
813
00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:48,296
- Have you seen this?
814
00:20:48,338 --> 00:20:49,422
You know, I've always
815
00:20:48,338 --> 00:20:49,422
wondered if--
816
00:20:49,463 --> 00:20:51,880
(Both scream)
817
00:20:49,463 --> 00:20:51,880
- Oh my God!
818
00:20:51,922 --> 00:20:53,797
- Oh my God!
819
00:20:51,922 --> 00:20:53,797
- Oh my God!
820
00:20:53,839 --> 00:20:55,422
- Oh my God, Richard,
821
00:20:53,839 --> 00:20:55,422
I'm so sorry!
822
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:56,922
- Kate, what the hell?!
823
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:56,922
Oh my God!
824
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,422
- This is not what
825
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,422
it looks like.
826
00:20:58,463 --> 00:21:00,547
- Dad, it's okay, I love her.
827
00:20:58,463 --> 00:21:00,547
- What?!
828
00:21:00,588 --> 00:21:02,797
- Wait, what?
829
00:21:00,588 --> 00:21:02,797
- I love you.
830
00:21:02,839 --> 00:21:04,213
- Oh my God!
831
00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:07,547
(Door slams)
832
00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:07,547
- Isn't this awesome?
833
00:21:07,588 --> 00:21:09,505
Like, we can be together, now.
834
00:21:07,588 --> 00:21:09,505
♪ That's all we want ♪