1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,668 - Really? Still with the silent treatment? 2 00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:06,839 Well, then, why did you even answer?! 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,376 Listen, I'm sorry that I left so abruptly. 4 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,979 But I don't know how many times I can apologize. 5 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,380 - I don't ask much. 6 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,316 I just ask that I don't come home 7 00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,251 And find two hungry daughters, 8 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,920 And a note that just says, "brb." 9 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,655 - So I guess it didn't work? 10 00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,526 Honey, wynston publishing is a really big deal. 11 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:30,529 It might be my last chance for my book to find a home. 12 00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,730 I would've been crazy not to take this meeting. 13 00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:34,299 - Yeah, you know what else is crazy? 14 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,770 Taking a vacation one day after you start work! 15 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,471 When is your return flight home? 16 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,507 - Oh, um... - Alexa, 17 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,609 Are there any flights on the family calendar? 18 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,611 Alexa: I see no flights on the calendar. 19 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:46,545 - (groans) 20 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,547 - You didn't book a return flight. 21 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,050 - I will! 22 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,422 - Really? Silent treatment again? 23 00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,691 Okay. All right. Goodbye! 24 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,326 (video game beeps) 25 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,497 Jesus ella, turn it down! 26 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,298 (game beeps and chimes, then stops) 27 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,835 - You all right? 28 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,436 - Uh, yeah. 29 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,506 Yeah, I'm just tense from the lionel thing. 30 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,907 - Yeah, of course, I heard. 31 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,542 But look, we got a big day today. 32 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,310 Okay, so we gotta get our head in the game, 33 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,213 And show him why you came out here. 34 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,048 - Mm-hmm. - Because sloane is expecting 35 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:25,317 To meet anne carlson, parenting expert. 36 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:28,120 And you just snapped at someone else's two-year-old. 37 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,622 - Totally. Sorry. - Please. 38 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,926 - Okay, sloane. What's she like? 39 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,928 - Oh! Uh, I don't know! 40 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,131 Uh, she's bitchin', you know? (giggles) 41 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,200 - Bitchin'? - She bumps, you know? 42 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,535 She fucks, she slaps. - You're glitching. 43 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,270 - You'll see. You're gonna love her, 44 00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,606 You're gonna fuckin' love her! (laughs) 45 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,743 - (sighs) 46 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,680 ♪♪♪ 47 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,150 - You're gay! - You're gay! 48 00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,885 Sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back. 49 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,887 Jesus, can't you keep it down?! - I saw you. 50 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:04,423 Gropin' a man! A man with a dick! 51 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,291 - And? - What do you mean, "and?!" 52 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,393 - I'm sorry you had to see that, but we spoke about this. 53 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,296 We see other people. - People! Not men! 54 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,465 - Last I checked, men are people. 55 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,034 - Okay, riddler, stop trying to outsmart me here. 56 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,470 - I don't know what to say. In these matters like these, 57 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,439 I'm... Fluid. - (exhales) 58 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,842 I, I just don't understand how you can like this... 59 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:26,311 And that. 60 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,113 - I guess I'm a people person. 61 00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:29,848 Look, what's under the hood is just a detail. 62 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,349 - (scoffs) you know what you're being? 63 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,451 You're being greedy. 64 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,454 I'm dumping your gay ass. How's that for a detail?! 65 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,824 - I really do want to keep seeing you. 66 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,594 But you're right, it's probably not wise for me 67 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,964 To keep seeing someone so... Close-minded. (sighs) 68 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,402 Thanks for coming by and making your concerns known. 69 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,372 (keys clack) 70 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,874 (receding footsteps clack) 71 00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,510 Jenny, wait. 72 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:01,980 - Yeah? 73 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,351 - Please tell marvin I need an update 74 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,320 On the perlmutter-dorman account by end-of-day. 75 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,324 - (scoffs) 76 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,894 (streetcar rumbles) 77 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,431 (low hum of chatter) 78 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,168 - Oh! 79 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,503 - Yeah. 80 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,105 - Thank you, parents, for coming to your children's 81 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,840 Storybook exhibit! 82 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,909 How thrilling it is to see the way our children 83 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,511 Are learning to connect beginnings, 84 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,913 Middles, and endings. 85 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,816 Enjoy! 86 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,518 (parents murmur quietly) 87 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,121 - Zoe made a love story. 88 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,257 About a boy and a girl. 89 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,359 And nobody else. 90 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,928 - Okay, so here's charlie's. 91 00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:53,732 Clearly a beginning. It's the uh, story of... 92 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,667 - An outline of a hand. 93 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,535 - Thoughts? 94 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,537 - I'm gathering you're not a fan of his story? 95 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,873 - Well, I'm starting to think that charlie might struggle 96 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,476 With "results anxiety." 97 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,411 See the way the story just sorta... 98 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,413 Fizzles out? 99 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,215 It's because he had a meltdown 100 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,884 After another student's project received quite a bit of praise. 101 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:16,154 - Sorry, results anxiety? Uh, for a five-year-old? 102 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,223 - Oh yeah. - Is that normal? 103 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,024 - Oh no. 104 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,594 If you have time, rhoda's story is really worth a look. 105 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,830 - Oh, I'm sure it is. - It is. 106 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,367 - I swear I can almost feel the rat's emotions 107 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,435 Coming off the page! 108 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,970 We need to nurture this talent. 109 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,572 - Oh wow. Wow. 110 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:37,843 Well, the story of a rat and a girl, struck by lightning. 111 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,711 Fused together, huh! 112 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,279 - Rat-girl. 113 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,781 - Rat-girl, you guys must be very proud. 114 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,351 (all chuckle) 115 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,520 (frankie sighs) 116 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:52,123 ♪♪♪ 117 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,858 Kate: The thought of him trying his best, 118 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,061 And then getting so emotional he can't finish? 119 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,063 I can't, I can't take it. 120 00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,898 - Oh, I just hope he's not alienating himself. 121 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,600 - You think he has no friends? 122 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,735 - Well, I don't know. 123 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,338 - Okay, well, his birthday's coming up. 124 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,740 Maybe we, you know, invite the whole class. 125 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,610 No art. No meltdown. Just good times. 126 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,145 - I love that. (door shuts) let's do it. 127 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,280 - And while I want to build up the confidence of all the men 128 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,282 In my life, it is my duty to tell you, 129 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,418 You look... Stupid in that reflective vest. 130 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,821 - Safety first. - It's the daytime, nathan! 131 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,423 - I'm very fast. - Nathan! 132 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,091 - Love you! 133 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,292 Maya: What a shit show in there! 134 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,826 - Okay? 135 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,695 - The way everyone fawns over that girl's art 136 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,897 Like she's monet?! - It is so great 137 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,233 To hear you say that! Charlie cannot keep up. 138 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,168 I mean, rhoda's art is sending 139 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,637 Him into a whole goddamn tailspin! 140 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,739 - Well, if it makes you feel better, 141 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,340 I don't know what the hell axe's story is about. 142 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,242 There's like six characters, they're all stick figures. 143 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:47,112 No idea who's who. - Ah, here's to dumb sons. 144 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,913 - Dumb sons! 145 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,315 ♪♪♪ 146 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,785 (streetcar rattles) 147 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,054 - Well, anne, I can't say I'm surprised to see you back 148 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,522 From that shitty mountain town. 149 00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,158 - Well, it's only temporary, unfortunately. 150 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,727 I'm here to sell my book. 151 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,261 Kate got me this meeting today, 152 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,863 And I'm totally freaked out about it. 153 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,265 - Pony up, cowgirl. You know you got the goods. 154 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,067 And if they don't see it, fuck 'em. 155 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,002 Fuck their buttholes raw. - What? 156 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,471 - Oh, sorry, bit of a tizzy this morning. 157 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:18,009 It's my boys. Every interaction leaves me with so much rage. 158 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,912 Little j.J. Turns 18 today, 159 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,547 And I fear if I don't do something, 160 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,416 I'm gonna be watching them masturbate into banana peels 161 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,985 For the rest of my life. 162 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,556 - You know it's you that gave me that life-changing 163 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,291 Parenting advice, right? 164 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,159 - The trail of nuts? 165 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,828 - Everything changed for me once I let go of control 166 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,030 And set alice free. 167 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,933 Maybe it's time that you start taking your own advice. 168 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,136 - Set them free. 169 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,904 That's beautiful. 170 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:51,309 ♪♪♪ 171 00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,278 Kristen: (reads) "who would've thought," asked penny, 172 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,814 "that you could catch a spider in its own web?" 173 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,317 The town cheered as penny dragged the creepy-crawly 174 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,252 Away from the tea party. 175 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,988 - Author's doing pretty good. 176 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,722 - I'll admit, when she's on, she's on. 177 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,658 - (reads) "the neighbourhood slept well that night, 178 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,727 Knowing the spiders were out of sight. 179 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,330 Pests don't rest, so neither will I!" 180 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:15,400 (audience applauds) 181 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,338 - I'm gonna get going. 182 00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:22,139 - That's it?! 183 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,976 (audience murmurs) 184 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,381 - That was okay, right? - Sorry, kristen, 185 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,349 Aren't you reading from the next "penny" book now? 186 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,818 - I really meant to write the next book, I swear, it's just-- 187 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,587 - Kristen, you're a professional author now 188 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,154 With a multiple book deal, 189 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,389 Which means you meet your deadlines. 190 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,291 Did you meet your deadline? 191 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,227 Or am I gonna have to make you pay back your advance? 192 00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,495 - I'm sorry! I have nothing! 193 00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,264 (sobs) - hey wait, kris- 194 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,934 (camera clicks, crowd murmurs) 195 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,405 - Holy shit, what's happening? - A pr crisis. 196 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,373 What's your plan? 197 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,843 - I... Am gonna go up there. - Yes, you are. 198 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,645 - Yes, I am. 199 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,881 (crowd chatters) 200 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,985 Hey, guys! 201 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,588 So look, uh, kristen had to run, as we uh (chuckle) 202 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,457 As we all saw. 203 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,659 Uh, she had to go help penny with her next pest. 204 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,028 - What's the next pest? 205 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,264 - Oh, you wanna know about that, do you? 206 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,601 Kids: Yeah! - Yeah. 207 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,136 - I can't heaaaar you! - (all stop, quiet) 208 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,841 - That's not a thing anymore? Okay. 209 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,744 Uh, the uh, the next pest... 210 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,314 Is... 211 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,086 Is a rat, a big, hairy rat. 212 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,755 Kids: Ewwww! - Just a rat? 213 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,891 - Of course, no, it's not just a rat. 214 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,594 Because this rat is... A girl. 215 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,430 And a rat. 216 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,599 You see, there was this girl, and she had a pet rat. 217 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,301 And everyone was like, ew! 218 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,102 Gross, get out of here with that thing. 219 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,338 Go back to the sewer! So she did. 220 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,907 And that night, there was a horrible storm. 221 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,843 And uh, and she was cuddling her little pet rat, 222 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,179 When lightning struck, and... 223 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,848 Fused them together. 224 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,784 Kids: Ewww! Gross! Aaah! 225 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,253 - Yeah, well, it's an origin story, folks. 226 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,423 And uh, who could possibly defeat rat girl? 227 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,324 There's only one girl up for the job. 228 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,259 Kids: Penny! - Penny, obviously. 229 00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:24,295 Kate: That's right! Kids: (chanting) penny! 230 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:28,066 - "penny pest control book two: Revenge of the rat girl." 231 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:31,002 Maybe. And the penny pest control app, 232 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,270 You know, at some point. 233 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:35,607 Uh, lots of exciting stuff in the pipeline. 234 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,875 Thank you so much for coming, everyone. 235 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,677 (audience applauds) man: Question? 236 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,113 Is it more rat or more girl? 237 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,882 - Oh! Uh, uh, a q&a period. 238 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,152 Okay, uh, it's uh, it's about fifty-fifty. 239 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,353 Alright. 240 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,254 - Wait, does this rat go to school? 241 00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:51,890 - Yeah, the rat goes to school. 242 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,891 It's uh, you gotta stay in school, everyone knows that. 243 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,960 So of course it goes to school. It's a tiny school, 244 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,629 It's got an eraser for a bed, alright? 245 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,297 Thank you very much! 246 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,833 - Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh, can it swim? 247 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,768 - Really, man? 248 00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,104 (sloane and audience applaud) 249 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,677 A genius, or something? 250 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,312 Would you look at her work? 251 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,615 When did she do all this? 252 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,785 Hello? 253 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,453 - Oh, sorry, I'm just... 254 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,589 Putting the finishing touches on a job posting. 255 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,791 I have to sell 43 condos. 256 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,027 Coyne realty is expanding. 257 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,463 - What have you got so far? - Oh! Okay. 258 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,465 "are you quirky? Different? 259 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,468 A special person with a special light, 260 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,703 And also a licensed real estate agent? 261 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,938 Come out from the shadows, and join... 262 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,007 Frankie coyne realty." 263 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,242 - "come out from the shadows?!" - mm-hmm. 264 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,011 - What in the world kind of post is this? 265 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,547 - An inspirational one! 266 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,417 How lucky am I to have a chance to give opportunities to, to-- 267 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,185 - Shadow people? - No! 268 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:57,088 To people sidelined, ignored! That's who I used to be. 269 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,557 My agency, my people. (laughs) 270 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,026 - I don't think you should post that. 271 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,895 - And... Posted. 272 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,230 Come on, shadow people! 273 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,433 Welcome to coyne realty! 274 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,568 Why don't we go around and introduce ourselves? 275 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:14,039 I'll start. I'm frankie, and this is my agency. 276 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,307 Uh, I love korean rice bowls, 277 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,176 And seeing the good in everyone. 278 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,979 I'm really excited to have you all aboard. 279 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,049 Please. 280 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,917 - Uh, I'm brody. 281 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,919 Uh, I've actually had a lot of trouble finding work 282 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,787 As a real estate agent. 283 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,189 But I'm not sure why, because I'm fuckin' awesome at it! 284 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,993 Um, it would just mean so much to me if I could help people 285 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,195 Find people their dream home. Let's go, baby! 286 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,064 - Amazing, okay, welcome. 287 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,933 Excellent. 288 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:45,270 Uh... Ahem. 289 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,274 - Um, I'm charlene. 290 00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:53,812 Uh, it, I'm not sure why I even bothered to answer the ad. 291 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,413 Really, I'm so sorry. - What? No, no, no, no! 292 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,615 Wait, wait, I hired you! 293 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,952 - You're right. You're right. 294 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,754 That was a stupid thing to say. 295 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:05,489 Forget what I say before I even say it. 296 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,358 - Okay, well, we might need to work 297 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,127 On the old confidence there, charlene. 298 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,297 - I am ladislav. - Hello, ladislav. 299 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,900 - I never really sell a house properly. 300 00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,236 I think on account of creak. 301 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,438 - Oh, I'm sorry, uh, creak? 302 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:25,243 - Yes, I have a... Creak in my bones. 303 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,080 (faint creaking) 304 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,350 Hmm? 305 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,554 I think maybe ghost. 306 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,789 - Spooky. - (chuckles) 307 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,658 - How could kristen bail like that?! 308 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,527 - Oh, don't even get me started. 309 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,928 Says her ideas come to her in her dreams. 310 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:47,131 - Well, I'm happy we covered for her until her next nap. 311 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,200 - Well, kristen can take a forever nap for all I care, 312 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,269 I'm just glad that I had you. - Hmm! 313 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,937 - I don't know how I can possibly thank you. 314 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,139 - Oh, hey, agreeing to meet my friend anne 315 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,741 Is more than enough. 316 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,943 - "running your own train." right. - Yeah. 317 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,945 - The book was actually very good. 318 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,880 - Yeah? - I'm happy to do it. 319 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,549 But just level with me, is she solid? 320 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,883 Because I can't take another kristen. 321 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,885 - Oh, you got nothing to worry about with anne. 322 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,155 There's nobody cooler. 323 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,192 Anne: (nervous exhale) 324 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,999 - So glad we're finally sitting down. 325 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,701 Anne, this is sloane. Sloane, this is anne. 326 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,706 Uh, sloane? 327 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,775 - So, I read the book. - Really? 328 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,644 Did you like it? It's okay if you didn't, you can pass. 329 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,978 You can just, just tell me right away, 330 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,913 Just lay it on me. - Breathe. 331 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,649 We wanna buy it. 332 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,185 - You wanna buy my book? You want, I'm a book seller? 333 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,387 I'm selling my book! Oh my gosh! 334 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,690 I'm sorry, I just never thought this was gonna happen! 335 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,926 I'm a book seller! Oh my god, fucking shit on my balls! 336 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,628 - Anne! (sloane laughs) 337 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,730 - The book works. It's insightful. 338 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,398 It is practical. 339 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,133 It's the right amount of controversial. 340 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:59,103 - Thank you. Wait, what? Controversial? 341 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,139 - Yeah, you know, telling parents they can phone it in. 342 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,075 - The book is about promoting smart decision-making 343 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,477 Through trust, not through "phoning it in." 344 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,079 Did you read the book? 345 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,948 - (laughs) excuse me? 346 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,850 - Okay, ah, let's just take a beat for a second. 347 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,885 Exciting moment, emotions are running high, 348 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,854 Plus I think she might be on antibiotics, 349 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,622 Just keep that in consideration. 350 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,824 - If you can't handle my little throwaway comment, 351 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,893 How can I trust you're gonna keep it together 352 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,862 When facing the public? - Who's facing the public? 353 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,530 I'm not facing any public, the book speaks for itself. 354 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:29,434 - Well, "parenting expert" is not an accredited degree. 355 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,769 These kinds of titles specifically require 356 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,371 Public appearances. 357 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,372 The only way you can prove that you're a leader in the field 358 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,908 Is through a press tour. 359 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,343 - Yeah, I'd be with you every step of the way. 360 00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,713 - Sorry, this is just news to me. 361 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,548 - Well, the appearances are part of the deal, 362 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:47,085 And as you can see, it's a pretty good deal. 363 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:49,853 Page eight. 364 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,123 (pages rustle) 365 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,796 - Yeah? 366 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,399 - Fuckin' shit on my balls! 367 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,134 ♪♪♪ 368 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,069 Gena: Hey, how you doin'? - Bad! 369 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,405 - Whoa, never mind. Bye! 370 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,340 - I'm just dealing with a lot right now. 371 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,142 - I just, I got something in the microwave, so-- 372 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,678 - Okay, fine, I'll tell you! 373 00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,247 I just had to dump someone, because it turns out... 374 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,216 He's gay. 375 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,353 - He told you that? - Basically. 376 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,989 - Well, like, what'd he say? That he's not into girls? 377 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:27,692 - No, he is. He likes both. 378 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,862 He started talking about fluid, like, get a grip, dude. 379 00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,197 - So you broke up with him? 380 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,067 - Well, yes! - Kinda homophobic, no? 381 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,969 - Excuse me? 382 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,638 - Well, if he's still into you it sounds like he's bi, 383 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,307 Or pansexual, not gay. 384 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,109 - Am I supposed to know what that is? 385 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,978 - Well, you're supposed to be open to learning about it 386 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,513 If you wanna date in the 20's. 387 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,248 - So I'm... 388 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,317 A homophobe? 389 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,454 ♪♪♪ 390 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,323 Val: I hope you've enjoyed your time in my care. 391 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,225 And you're both of legal age now, so have a little cake, 392 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,127 And then get out of my house. 393 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,731 (boys laugh) 394 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,966 - Totally. - Mom! 395 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,001 - What are you doing? - Taking anne's advice. 396 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,936 Which was to take my own advice. 397 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,805 I'm setting them free. - Hmm. 398 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,940 - I mean it, boys. Time to go. 399 00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,909 - Go where? - Anywhere but here. 400 00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:21,112 I've packed your suitcases, and they're by the door. 401 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,814 - Honey, maybe this is a little rushed. 402 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:25,149 - I'm ripping off a band-aid, they'll thank me for it. 403 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,351 - Where will we get money? - You'll get jobs. 404 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,587 - Why right now, though? It's almost nighttime. 405 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,357 - Yeah, and why are you in a silk robe? 406 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,492 - Because after you leave, mel and I are going 407 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,895 To celebrate your departure on every surface of this house. 408 00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,431 And I can tell you that because you're adults now. 409 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,234 - That's so fucking gross! 410 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,169 - What are we supposed to eat, mom?! 411 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,105 Quick, dude, fill your belly! Fill your belly! 412 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,774 - What? Oh! 413 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,443 - What in god's name are you doing? 414 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,245 - We don't know the next time we're gonna eat, mom! 415 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,913 - Well, you're not bears! 416 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,315 You can't just store up for winter. 417 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,818 Boys, one more mouthful, and then out! 418 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:04,188 (boys sob) 419 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:06,324 (food crunches) 420 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,527 - (sighs) - (boys whimper) 421 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,033 Now. 422 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,938 - (sobs) 423 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,209 (door latch clicks) 424 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,512 (door slams) 425 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,315 - (happy exhale) we're free. 426 00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,051 Joseph: Where are we supposed to take dumps?! 427 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,223 ♪♪ 428 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,226 - (laughs) it's okay! - Oh, it was-- 429 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,595 - Um... Hi? 430 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,567 - Hi. I just wanted you to know that what you're doing is okay. 431 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,636 And I was wrong to be so grossed out. 432 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,571 Even though it just came naturally. 433 00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,072 - Who is this? - I'm the other woman. 434 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,508 Or, I was. And I can be. 435 00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,244 Because sexuality is actually a spectrum. 436 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,113 - Well, I'm glad that what we're doing is okay. 437 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,514 Anything else? 438 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,349 Because I thought you "dumped my gay ass." 439 00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,852 - She said that to you? - That was before. 440 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,121 When I was homophobic. And for that, I'm sorry. 441 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,923 But I have done a ton of research today, 442 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,658 And I learned a lot. 443 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:18,196 The kinsey scale, marsha p. Johnson, ru paul's drag race. 444 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,930 - Ru paul's drag race? 445 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,999 - Oh, yes! 446 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,801 And while we're on the subject... 447 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,571 Who do you homos think is gonna be the next celebrity judge? 448 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,545 Oh, I'm sorry, am I not allowed to weigh in? 449 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,481 Like, who's homophobic now? 450 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:40,818 - This is like, weird, or something. 451 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,557 Kate: Here she goes! She... Signed it! 452 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,293 Come on, you bastard! - Ohhhh! 453 00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:52,095 - You sold a book! 454 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,532 You're a motherfuckin' published author! 455 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,201 - Mmmm! - Anne! 456 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,770 - I sold a book! (both laugh) 457 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,505 I can't believe this is happening. 458 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,507 I've been dreaming about my book on display 459 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,710 In stores forever! 460 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,244 I can see the cover, and everything. 461 00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:10,581 - What does it look like? - It's uh... 462 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,216 - Come on. 463 00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,251 - It's alice and I... 464 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:17,188 Just like laughing our asses off 465 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,023 Like equals, you know? 466 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,458 On the other side of all that drama. 467 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,094 Black and white, on like, a blue background. 468 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,730 Helvetica font for the title. 469 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,532 - You've really thought this through. 470 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,534 - Do you think it's dumb? - No, I don't think it's dumb! 471 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,738 We're gonna get you that frickin' display. 472 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,138 But you might have to call lionel, 473 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,141 'cause you're gonna be here a little bit longer. 474 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,009 - A media tour. - Mm-hmm. 475 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,345 - Yeah, man, I just wanted to write a book to help people, 476 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,013 I did not wanna be a brand. 477 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,349 - Brands are why people buy stuff, okay? 478 00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:47,684 And look, the media tour is a couple weeks. 479 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,154 Your book though? Forever. 480 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,556 - What about you and me? 481 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,991 You think this is a good idea, us working together? 482 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,826 - Totally, totally. 483 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,762 - Kate. - What? Uh... 484 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,165 There's one thing. - Uh-huh? 485 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,900 - Like, if I had to pick something, 486 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,236 With a gun to my head. - Okay, yeah? 487 00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,806 - You... You got a little bit of a temper. 488 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,708 Look, as your friend, it's a party, 489 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:11,975 You know what I mean, I love it. 490 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,911 But as your publicist... 491 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,280 It could be a problem. 492 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,182 - So it's not a good idea? 493 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,317 - It's just something you gotta keep an eye on. 494 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,186 But you can keep the genie in the bottle, right? 495 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,855 - Yes! Yep. - Well, then! 496 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,657 Cheers to you... 497 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,525 Totally fuckin' controlling your temper. 498 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,360 - I just need to know that you got my back. 499 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:34,131 - I have got your back so hard, that... 500 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,534 You know what? Gimme this. Watch. 501 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,201 - What are you doing? 502 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,171 (pen scratches) - huh? Who's that? 503 00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:42,540 - This guy. - Anne carlson! 504 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,408 - Yes. - And, uh-oh! 505 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,511 Who's this? (pen scratches) 506 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:51,815 - It says, "fack." why would you write that? 507 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,885 - Kate's got your back, foster's got your front, 508 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,453 I'm on every side of you. 509 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,555 (both laugh) 510 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,591 I got both sides of you! - I get it, I get it. 511 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,860 - "what's fack mean?!" let's fackin' go! 512 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,495 - (laughs) 513 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,163 - You wrote a book! 514 00:21:06,199 --> 00:21:08,599 - I wrote a book! - Awwwwwooo!