1 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,842 (Elevator dings, door rumbles open) 2 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,720 - Kate: Charlie? 3 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,096 Are you in here, honey? 4 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,182 (Worried gasp) 5 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:20,479 Oh my God, do not lick ANYTHING, okay? Baby, I need you to say something, okay? 6 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,022 This is not a game. 7 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:25,818 Charlie?! (Glass jar rattles on ground) 8 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,362 Charlie?! Charlie?! 9 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,822 Charlie, where are you?! CHARLIE?! 10 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:33,283 (Hard whack) Oof! Ungh! 11 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,494 (Lights flick off) 12 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,078 (Fizzling off and on) 13 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,166 (Gasps loudly, breathing hard) 14 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,626 (Low hum of chatter) 15 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,879 - Rhoda, that's enough screen time, please. 16 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,756 - Rhoda?! 17 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,591 (Under her breath) Oh my God... 18 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,843 Oh my God, it's Maybel. 19 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,761 - Posture. Thank you. 20 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,515 Jenny: Did you use Mommy's products in your hair? 21 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,976 I knew it. - Kate: Anne! 22 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:01,436 (Whispers) Anne! - Jamye, honey, are you hungry? Do you want a snack? 23 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,397 - No. - No. Okay. 24 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,650 - Val: Would anyone care to share a latest accomplishment? 25 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:07,985 - (Eager gasp) 26 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,946 - Oh, Charlie. - What the fuck? 27 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,490 - Well, I went food shopping the other day. 28 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:14,950 I mean, like, I ordered it from home. 29 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,370 Like on an app? But still, it got there. 30 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,580 - Val: That's excellent! 31 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,582 I was hoping you were going to report 32 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:25,168 progress on another front. - Charlie: You mean progress with my buttons, Val? 33 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,962 Or how 'bout my zippers?! Or my snaps?! 34 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,088 Or putting on my own pants?! 35 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,883 Nope! Not much progress to report, 36 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,384 thank you very much! 37 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,802 But you know what? 38 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,220 My mom says I don't have to learn that. 39 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,347 Just wearing a giant t-shirt is fine enough. 40 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,640 Right, Mommy? 41 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,392 Mmmmuah! 42 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,602 Mama. 43 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,354 - Alicia: I don't mean to be rude, 44 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,148 but what is that smell? - Anne: Oh, don't be cute. 45 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,317 Alicia, you know that Charlie crapped himself. 46 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,278 - Yeah, but isn't he just wearing a shirt? 47 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,323 - Is it... in your lap, Kate? 48 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,785 - Alicia: No! It is not in your lap, 49 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,411 is it, Kate? - Oh man... 50 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,996 - Your child knows how to button his pants 51 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,873 and use the toilet, right? 52 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,166 - Frankie: Kate, can you please change him? 53 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:09,755 He smells very, very bad. - This is... not happening. 54 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,674 - Please! Everybody leave my Mom alone! 55 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,927 Ugh! I'm sorry I'm a monster, okay, Mom?! 56 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,887 I'm a monster, 'kay?! 57 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,472 Monster, 'kay?! 58 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,057 Monster, 'kay?! 59 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:22,559 Monster, 'kay?! Monster, 'kay?! 60 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,769 Monster, 'kay?! (Val shrieks) 61 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:24,937 - Monster, 'kay?! 62 00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,563 Intercom Voice: Monster. 63 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,733 Would Kay Monster please report to the snack bar? 64 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,192 - (Gasps) - Kay Monster, 65 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,153 please report to the snack bar. 66 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,908 - (Groans softly) - Intercom Voice: Monster. 67 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,995 Would Kay Monster please report to the snack bar? 68 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,496 - (Exhales in pain) - Kay Monster... 69 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,956 Please report to the snack bar. 70 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,582 - (Door clicks open) - Kate: (Groans) 71 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,959 Charlie... - (Door bangs shut) 72 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,627 Charlie?! (Frantic breaths) 73 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,420 - (Light fizzles out) - No! 74 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,507 Seriously?! 75 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,174 - Hey. Yeah, Reg, uh, can you just open the house 76 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,927 and get it started? 77 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,804 Thanks. I'll be there as soon as I can. 78 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,639 (Car honks nearby) 79 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,265 No. Way. 80 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,437 GODDAMMIT! CITIZENS ARREST! 81 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:10,315 - Ungh! - I hate you! Son-of-a-bitch! 82 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,485 Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! - (Grunting in pain) You crazy? 83 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,154 - Where is it?! 84 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,364 Where is it?! I know it's in here! 85 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,700 - (Grunting and whimpering) 86 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,410 - Right, oh right, yeah, Sean. Huh. 87 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,662 Timothy. 88 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,455 Bruce? Really? 89 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,500 Solomon. All right. - (Groans in pain) 90 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,210 - There's only one Solomon in my life, 91 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,421 and he shits his pants. 92 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,632 - (Grunting) - I'm calling the cops. 93 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,342 (Gasps) - Jesus. 94 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:41,847 - Ungh! - (Grunts) 95 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,475 - Hello. 96 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:48,395 Do you have a citizen's arrest division? 97 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,355 Yes, I'll hold. 98 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,273 - (Fob slides uselessly) - Kate: Um... 99 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,650 come on. 100 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,194 Hello?! - (Bangs on door) 101 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:56,737 Fuck! (Breathing hard) 102 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,740 Think. 103 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,325 (Phone line rings, door bangs shut) 104 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,038 Oh my God, Anne? Anne? 105 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,288 Anne: I'm just gonna come out say it. 106 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,916 Is Maya your new best friend or what? 107 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,085 - What? I can't talk about that right now. 108 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,378 Listen to me, I'm in trouble. 109 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,130 I have lost Charlie 110 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,965 in the Admiral Weed Beer factory and-- 111 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,218 - What? - (Cutting out) Locked in the stairwell-- 112 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,386 (Phone disconnects) - Kate, what?! 113 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,514 - Anne? 114 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,682 Oh my God. 115 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,435 Goddammit. 116 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,771 Oh fuck. (Lights flick on) 117 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,734 (Breathing hard) All right. 118 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,821 (Scanner beeps) 119 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,949 I'm Kay Monster, I'm-- (Door clicks shut) 120 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,036 Char... Charlie. Hey, sweetie. 121 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,412 (Kissing) 122 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,997 Oh my God, you're okay! 123 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,750 - I guess this little guy's been asking for you then? 124 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,794 - (Relieved sigh) - Oh my God, is your head okay? 125 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,463 - Oh, yeah. No, it's great actually. 126 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:59,049 You were hungry, so you got yourself a snack? 127 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,968 - He just marched right in here, 128 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,594 picked that cookie, paid for it! 129 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,721 - You knew how to do that? - He seemed pretty competent. 130 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,974 He even went and used the bathroom. 131 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,601 - He what? Did you have to pressure him to... 132 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,561 pull his pants up? I mean, the button, 133 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:12,938 he's terr-he's terrible at buttons. Did you-- 134 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,315 - Oh, no, no, no. I didn't go in there with him. 135 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,067 - Was I supposed to? - (Sniffling) 136 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,486 Oh, you knew how to do it by yourself, huh? 137 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,989 You even knew to say Kate Foster. 138 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,865 - Uh, well, he didn't exactly get your name right. 139 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:28,287 - Hey, buddy, he's literally killing at life right now. 140 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,496 - Totally. I'm sorry. 141 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:30,914 Yeah, he's awesome. He's great. 142 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,540 - (Elevator dings) - Fuckin', damn straight he is! 143 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,959 Craig: Sorry about the trapped elevator. 144 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,335 Very thirsty though. Very thirsty. 145 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,130 - Oh, guys! Look who I found! 146 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:41,675 - Oh! Oh! Thank goodness. - Hey! Little man! 147 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,342 - What happened to you? - Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. 148 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:47,181 - Jesus. - Yeah, I'm sorry I had to leave the tour like that. 149 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,933 Not my most professional moment. 150 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:52,686 - (Belches loudly) Oh, I think I drank too much water. 151 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,855 Uh, I can hear it my belly. Listen to that. 152 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,231 Sounds like a waterbed. 153 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:59,193 - Oh, I have always liked the idea of a waterbed. 154 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:03,530 Like you're drifting out to sea... - William, you seem relaxed. 155 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:07,034 - (Clears throat) Well, I don't feel like running into traffic, 156 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,410 but this guy is clearly high. 157 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,454 - Uh, look, now, hold on now. 158 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,166 The, the, the beer, it's not usually this strong. 159 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,669 - Okay, Craig-- - Look, there was a fuck up today... 160 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,172 - Well uh-- -...but yeah, a couple batches got overdosed. 161 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,882 - What? - Um... 162 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,424 - I can assure you, 163 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,426 none of that left the premises! 164 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,554 - Trust me, they're taking every possible precaution. 165 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,056 - Anne: Kate, oh my God, did you find him?! 166 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,474 Oh, hi, buddy! - Anne! What're you doing here? 167 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,768 - What do you mean, what am I doing here? I am saving your life! 168 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:37,314 - Well-- - You sounded like you were in a "Saw Movie"! Dude, your head! 169 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,899 - I know. It looks worse than it is. 170 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,608 - Oh my God, is it this shit? - What? 171 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,485 - Is this what you were drinking when you fucked your face up? 172 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,613 Did you not learn anything when Alice almost got arrested? - Uh... 173 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,782 - Um, who's Alice? - My 13-year-old daughter. 174 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,408 Her and her idiot friends drank this stuff 175 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,328 and destroyed Kate's office. 176 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,705 - Is that true? - (Shocked) Wha... wait, what? 177 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,957 - Okay... (Chuckles) 178 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,460 Anne, I'd like to introduce you to Craig, the CEO of Après 179 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,587 and William, a reporter 180 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,673 writing on the safety of this product. 181 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,927 - Mm... shit. 182 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,764 - So you of all people must agree with me - 183 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,474 this product is too dangerous. 184 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,394 It should be banned. - Well... 185 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,020 - Mm... 186 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,440 But that would only make it more desirable. 187 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,318 Look, I'm a psychiatrist. - You are? 188 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,195 - I'm actually writing about this right now. 189 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:29,408 - Oh, well, what does the professional community think? 190 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,452 - That this is a very complicated situation 191 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,495 and that should be taken on a case by case basis. 192 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,664 And, in my case, I came to the conclusion 193 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,499 that my daughter needs more freedom. 194 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,086 Let her run her own train. - Excuse me? 195 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,671 - Okay, uh... so what I think Anne is saying, 196 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,007 uh, in, in uh, in her own way, 197 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,675 is that weed isn't going anywhere. Right, Anne? 198 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,510 - Yeah. 199 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,263 - Yes, and weed beer's not going anywhere. 200 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,973 So the smartest thing you can do, William, is... 201 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,309 is to write about that. 202 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,436 Uh, if you really wanna keep the public protected, 203 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,229 if you wanna keep them safe, 204 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,231 educate them, empower them. 205 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,820 - You make a fair point. 206 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,696 - Hey, hey. (Hard thwap) 207 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,824 Come here, buddy. Come here, man. 208 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,700 Love you. - Oh. 209 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,828 - Let's get you cleaned up. I got some wet wipes in the car. 210 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,413 - Oh, thank God. 211 00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:17,664 You okay, buddy? 212 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,085 I could've driven. 213 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,670 - Dude, I'm not saying it again. 214 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:25,255 You may have a concussion. 215 00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,466 I'm gonna tell Nathan to wake you up every 45 minutes. 216 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,717 - You don't have to do that. - No, I'm gonna talk to him. 217 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,805 - With or without your hands around his throat? 218 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,184 - Sorry I haven't been that supportive of your decision. 219 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,186 I do think I made it up to you back there though. 220 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,188 - Big time. 221 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,231 You stole the show. - Thank you! 222 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,984 - No, excuse me, I'm talking to your outfit. 223 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,195 Is it hard to work at a record store all day 224 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,780 when you just wanna jam in a band, Cool Outfit? 225 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,449 - (Laughs) 226 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,618 Sorry I'm not as cool as your other mom friends. 227 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,371 - You mean Maya? 228 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,831 Maya is not my best friend, you idiot. You are. 229 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,582 I would literally leave Nathan in an amusement park, 230 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,877 starving and alone with both kids, 231 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,671 if it meant losing you. - Yes! Oh my God, me too! 232 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,715 I'd be like, "Bye, Lionel!" - "Keep 'em alive!" 233 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,133 - They'd be fine. - Exactly! 234 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,926 So what's the issue here? We're sisters. 235 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,388 Sisters by blood. Blood sisters by blood. 236 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,640 - I mean, it's not by blood. 237 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,851 - Yeah, yeah. Blood, spit, cum - 238 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,353 all the things, you know? (Fist slaps hand) 239 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,770 - Huh? - Yeah. 240 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,439 - You sure you're okay? - (Snaps fingers) 241 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,899 Let's make an oath. - A pact! 242 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,275 - Yes! To each other. - Yes! 243 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,110 - Like Lancelot. Camelot. 244 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,737 You know those dudes with long hair. 245 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:33,114 Swords in the stone shit! The owl. 246 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,033 - Okay. - Yeah. - I'll go. 247 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,701 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. 248 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,372 - I, Anne Carlson, promise to be your sister for life. 249 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,707 - Aw... - You go. 250 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,209 - Okay. - 'Kay. 251 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,835 - Uh, I, Anne Carlson-- 252 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,921 - No, idiot. You gotta say your name. 253 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,299 I, Anne Carlson, promise to be YOUR sister. 254 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:55,429 - Right. I, Carl Anderson, am a sister. 255 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,056 - Okay, you have a concussion, we're going to the hospital. 256 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,267 - I'm gonna go to sleep. - Don't go to sleep! Hey! Hey! 257 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,309 - Ow. - Up! 258 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,896 ♪♪♪ 259 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,148 (Muffled screaming and laughing) 260 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:13,905 (Door clicks open) 261 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,865 (Kids crying, screaming and laughing) 262 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,534 M.C.P.: What the hell? - Are you in charge?! 263 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,578 My child has six different nut allergies 264 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,538 you should know about. Gena: And hey, 265 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,457 this place is not baby proofed, you know? 266 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,125 Do you know how many things in here Enzo could swallow 267 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,043 or penetrate himself with? (Crying fills room) 268 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,754 - Fucking Jenny! Gena: Get over here, right now. 269 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,007 (Phones ring) 270 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,140 - (Angry exhale) You wanna tell me why my office 271 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,850 looks like a line-up for a Paw Patrol Live show right now?! 272 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,603 - Malcolm Cody Patrick, 273 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,854 are you admitting you've gone to Paw Patrol Live? 274 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,608 - Okay, Jenny, you wanna play? 275 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,235 Fine. What are your terms? 276 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,988 - How's about you turn around, call your higher ups 277 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,240 and demand the quality daycare 278 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,867 that my coworkers desperately need. 279 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,786 - How's about you go up there yourself 280 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,123 and clear out the crapping, screaming, petting-zoo 281 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,626 that you've turned my office into! 282 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,629 Or you can clear out your desk. - Mm... 283 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,089 Are you threatening me? 284 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:15,925 Because this is where I threaten you. 285 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:19,346 I could go public with the significant wage gap 286 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,515 that your company has been suffering from. 287 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,766 Or, if that's not enough, I'd be happy to top it 288 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,685 with the hush money you provided Gena and I. 289 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,355 Or should I just tell everybody 290 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,398 that you called a Mom at the park, 291 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,151 "clearly gay, and not in the hot way." 292 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,530 What you've done here? Yeah, it's illegal and gross. 293 00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:39,866 And all you have to do is stop being a cheap little sexist bitch. 294 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,494 Now deliver us a daycare, 295 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,829 or face public scrutiny... 296 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,414 and the Paw Patrol. 297 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,417 Ruff. 298 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,296 That's right. Keep walking! 299 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,299 ♪♪♪ 300 00:11:56,341 --> 00:12:00,094 - I was just walking. I'm tellin' you, he did NOT even see it coming. I was just like beating him, 301 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:04,224 with my face - with the sign - just like ahhhh, ungh, hunngh! (Bianca laughs, baby cries) 302 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,975 Right? And then just when he thought 303 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:09,604 it couldn't get any worse, I just-- Juniper: Curbed him. 304 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,980 - Juniper, what have I told you 305 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:13,149 about sneaking up on us like that? 306 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,942 - That it makes you feel like you live in Cape Fear? 307 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,028 - Exactly. Now go to your room. 308 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,737 Bianca: (Chuckles) 309 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,948 And you got my rosary back. 310 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,992 - Well, he's with the cops now 311 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,537 and the slow wheels of justice are... (takes a breath) 312 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,248 cranking forward. - That was amazing, Frank. 313 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,458 - It's what anybody woulda done. 314 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,044 - No. You've been like... 315 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,796 the best father Solomon could ever ask for. 316 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,217 No, but really. 317 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,428 (Nervous inhale and exhale) 318 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,097 I want you to be his other mom. 319 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,933 And I know that's asking a lot since you already have a kid 320 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:49,768 and an ex-wife and a potential assault case on your hands. 321 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,608 - I would be honoured... - (Chuckles) 322 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,901 - honoured to adopt him. 323 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,112 Both: (Laughing excitedly) - Oh my God. 324 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,489 - I Love you. - Love you. 325 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,865 (Playful hugging grunts and laughter) 326 00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,246 - (Dry laugh) 327 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,373 (Mug thunks) Look... 328 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,587 bad news is... our Publisher has dropped out. 329 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,921 You wrote a completely different book 330 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,715 than what they paid you for. 331 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,675 - But I don't, I don't have to pay the money back, right? 332 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,427 - Oh, you absolutely do. 333 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,929 - I can't repay that advance! My husband lost his job 334 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,056 and, and detective camp is a fucking fortune! 335 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,434 - (Laughs) Detective camp! I love it! 336 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,977 Ripped from the pages! 337 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:33,104 But look, you blew your book deal! 338 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,523 Like you totally blew it! - Shit. Shit. Shit. 339 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,358 - But... 340 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,278 this is your book, Anne! 341 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,238 I loved it! 342 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,240 My best friend loved it, my idiot sister loved it, 343 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,910 my cousin's kid's bus driver LOVED it. 344 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,037 It's beautiful. 345 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,872 It's heartbreaking and infuriating 346 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,792 and all the things that it is to be the mother 347 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,918 of an adolescent. - Right? 348 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,338 - We are gonna sell this book, Anne! 349 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,381 - (Sighs with relief) 350 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,300 M.C.P.: All right, go play. 351 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,135 (Kids shout and laugh) 352 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,096 What up, biatch? 353 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:09,390 - Ugh. Save it, you piece of shit. 354 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:14,061 - Oh, come on, I met your demands. 355 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,855 You won, okay? It was impressive. 356 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,359 - (Unamused snort) - No, seriously. 357 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,611 Watching you pick something that you actually care about 358 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,321 and follow through with it? 359 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,406 Most people don't have that in 'em. 360 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,075 - Most people aren't sociopaths, 361 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,036 who screw over half their employees 362 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:32,079 'cause they hate their mommy. 363 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,124 - (Sighs) I... I don't know what to say. 364 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,669 I'm sorry. - Say you're a little bitch... 365 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,504 with a little bitch face. 366 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,506 - What? - Say it. 367 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,007 Or find another bench. 368 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,637 - (Sighs) Fine. 369 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:50,264 (Quietly) I'm a little bitch with... 370 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,308 Together: A little bitch face. 371 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,522 - So, look, I'd still like to do 372 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,816 whatever it is we do outside of work. 373 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,776 - And what is it that we do together? 374 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,698 (Kiss, hard thwap) 375 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,492 What the fuck?! 376 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,160 - I'm sorry. Look, I just thought you'd, 377 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,204 I mean, you'd prob-- (Kissing) 378 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,997 (Kids scream and laugh) 379 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,588 - I'm in charge. - Clearly. 380 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:24,716 (Kissing) 381 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,387 Kate: 'Kay, so, this is a shirt. 382 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,431 I want you to find the big hole, 383 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,140 let your head do the walkin'. 384 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,227 Just sort of follow your guts. I'm not gonna step in... 385 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,854 (under her breath) even though I want to. 386 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,400 Yup. Just sort of... 387 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,193 yup, that's the one. 388 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,695 Yup. Hey. 389 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,405 - How's it goin' in here? - Slow and terrible, 390 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,365 but he's gettin' it! 391 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,868 - Wow, buddy! That's amazing! - Yeah! 392 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,953 - Woo! - Yes! (Laughing) 393 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,955 - Good job, buddy! - Oh, you got it. 394 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,374 - Can you find the arm hole? 395 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,752 - Oh, he, he might not. - (Struggling grunt) 396 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,545 - Look, if he doesn't get it, There's always vests, right? 397 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,464 - Mommy? - I'm not too worried about it. 398 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,299 - I can't. 399 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,009 - I feel like if I just step in and fix that one arm... 400 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,345 - You cannot step in. - I can't. 401 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,180 - Can't we just blame it on the concussion 402 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,433 and I'll just put the shirt on? 403 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,810 - How is my patient? 404 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,145 - (Sighs) Who are you? 405 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,939 - (Laughs) Do we have to upgrade you to amnesia? 406 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,106 - Mm-hmm. 407 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,399 - I'm gonna have to hit you in the head 408 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,860 with another forklift then. - (Laughs) 409 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,904 He's actually getting it. 410 00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:30,740 You got it, you got it! - You got it, dude! 411 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,366 Both: YES! 412 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,577 - Yes! - Yes, Charlie! 413 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,829 - Yes, yes, yes! 414 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,998 (Kisses, Charlie giggles) 415 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,878 ♪♪♪ 416 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,714 ♪ I have to leave this party ♪ 417 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,803 - No... ♪ ...oh no, friends I'm sorry ♪ 418 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,514 (Alice cries) 419 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,766 ♪ It's just, it's getting late ♪ 420 00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:05,065 ♪♪♪ 421 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,693 (Disgusted breath) 422 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,197 (Blows out her breath) 423 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,658 I don't know what we're gonna do. 424 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,869 - I got a job. 425 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,829 - What? Like as... as a coder? 426 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,539 - As a contingency planner. 427 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,541 - Ah, thank God! You-- 428 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,126 - Mm, wait, wait, wait. - What? 429 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,378 - There's one small thing. 430 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,380 ♪♪♪ 431 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:32,134 ♪♪♪ 432 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,970 - Hey. - What're you doin'...? 433 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:37,264 I could've gotten you something-- - No, no, no, no, no. Relax. 434 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,934 I wanted to get you something. - Okay. 435 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,436 - I owe you an apology. 436 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,606 - (Laughs) For bringing cured meats into the bedroom? 437 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,484 - No, for cancelling our trip. 438 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,319 I know it meant something to you. 439 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,738 - I didn't just wanna bang 440 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,573 at the top of a mountain, you know. 441 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,575 - Oh, I know you didn't. You wanted to, like, be connected. 442 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,161 I, I kinda can't believe that after all this time you still want to. 443 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,205 But I can't tell you how much that means to me. 444 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,791 I mean, I'm sorry, Nathan, and I'm sorry about hiring Richard 445 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,334 and for like giving him half of my salary-- 446 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:08,588 - I don't want to hear it. - (Mouth full) Okay. 447 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,131 - What if we just ate salami? 448 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,509 Feels good, right? - Well, yeah, but... 449 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:17,680 what about our problems? I mean... (laughs) 450 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:21,267 - Send them off to sea, viking funeral style. 451 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,269 - What, like dump 'em? 452 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,646 Is that allowed? 453 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,523 - I'm doing it. 454 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:28,942 - I wanna do it. 455 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,860 - (Chuckles) Okay. 456 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,612 - Hi. - Hi. 457 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,781 (Kissing, moaning and giggling) 458 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,119 (Kissing and moaning) 459 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,746 Honey, I actually have to pee. 460 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,330 - Mmm... (Kissing) 461 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,999 (Knock at front door) 462 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,960 - Who could that be? - I don't know. You pee. 463 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,586 (Kiss) I'll get the door. 464 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,005 - Put some pants on, please. - Yes, sir. 465 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:53,591 (Door clicks open) 466 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,843 Anne? What the...? What're you doing here? 467 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,639 Anne? 468 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,476 (Dog whines in the distance, crickets chirp) 469 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,019 - So um... 470 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,732 I'm... - Oh my God, you're dying. 471 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,526 - What? No. Dramatic. - You're being dramatic! 472 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,655 It's like sitting across from Dame Judy Dench! 473 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,657 Would you just-- - I'm moving. 474 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,993 - What? - Lionel got a job 475 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,787 and we're moving... 476 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:23,871 to Calgary. 477 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,498 - No. You're not moving to Calgary. 478 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,917 That's insane. I refuse your news. 479 00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,586 - Please don't make this hard on me. 480 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,923 - What happened to us leaving our partners and kids in a theme park, striking a match, dropping it behind us? 481 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:37,384 - Nobody said anything about lighting them on fire! - Well, I'm upset! 482 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,641 I thought I was more important than Lionel. 483 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,267 - (Amused snort) 484 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,937 - I know you can't say yes, but if you just blink or something. 485 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,192 - We just can't live here on just my job. 486 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,361 - Yeah. 487 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,737 - And Alice is really miserable. 488 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,322 - Yeah. 489 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,702 - I just don't know what I'm doing. 490 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,078 I have failed her so many times, 491 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,288 and I think I'm doing it again. 492 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,707 - You are not. 493 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,417 Listen to me: You are not. 494 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,170 You are an amazing Mom. 495 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,796 You are putting her first. 496 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,758 And yeah, I hate that you're going, 497 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,468 but you're doing the right thing. 498 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,724 We'll make it work. 499 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,227 - I love you. - I love you. 500 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:34,441 ♪♪♪ 501 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:38,362 ♪ Once we've both said our goodbyes ♪ 502 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:45,244 ♪ Let's just let it go ♪ 503 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:51,042 ♪ Let me let you go ♪ 504 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,382 ♪ I could lie and say I like it like that ♪ 505 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,342 ♪ Like it like that ♪ - It's gonna be okay. 506 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,304 Right? - Yeah. 507 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:07,058 ♪ I could lie and say I like it like that ♪ 508 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,935 ♪ Like it like that... ♪