- Previously on "The Bold Type."
- Dating is a real minefield these days.
- If you were dating a woman who was rich,
would you let her pay for everything?
- Yeah, if it made her happy.
- I am not looking for anything serious right now.
As long as I pick someone that I have
no emotional connection to,
everything's gonna be fine. It's just sex, you know?
- You said that there was the possibility
of more verticals, and I'm up for that challenge.
- Well, let's see how your next piece does.
- No wonder she pushed back on my brilliant wedding pitch.
Her marriage is falling apart.
- Ian and I are separating.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- It's not about the uniform or Babs.
It's about me and Richard.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God, I got tagged in the "Scarlet" bridal shoot.
- You're an influencer now.
[ambient music]
♪
- A vagina facial?
- Shh.
- Sorry.
- Now, does the facial come with a vagina massage?
Because if it does, I'm in.
- That's a different kind of spa, honey.
- Yeah, I read that it's supposed to give you
"the confidence and glow you didn't know you needed,"
but that feels unnecessary, you know?
- Is any of this necessary?
- Yes.
If I could, I would live in a spa.
- Well, thank you Sabrina George
for the free passes.
- Oh wait, stop, no spa pics. It's too bougie.
- Shh. - Sorry.
- So, Jane, how are you feeling
about that, uh, wellness seminar, baby?
- Fine, nervous.
I just don't understand why Jacqueline wants me
on a panel with a bunch of CEOs and sex therapists.
- What are you talking about?
Your articles on that sex party and tantric sex were great.
- And yet Jacqueline still hasn't given me a vertical.
- Oh, she will.
- This is so nice.
- It really is.
- Hm, I had sex with a dude last night.
- What? - Get out.
all: Shh!
- Shh!
[upbeat music]
- So what does this mean?
- It means I was looking for no-strings sex,
and with everything that happened with Ellie,
I just decided to look for it somewhere unexpected.
- Does this mean you're not a lesbian?
- I'd say emotionally, yes,
I've only had feelings for women,
but I've always loved having sex with dudes.
- It sounds like your heart is a lesbian,
and your vagina is bisexual.
- Or I'm Kat, lover of human beings.
- So are you gonna see this human being again?
- Cody? Uh, yeah.
He left his watch at my place, so--
- Oh, classic. - Aha.
- He left his watch.
- Oldest trick in the book. He likes you.
- No, he likes having sex with me.
Big difference.
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, I'm calling it.
Wellness time of death is 9:00 a.m.
- I think I need to do a little more research
since I'm gonna be sitting on that wellness panel.
And Tinier Jane has been working overtime with Ryan
and needs a little R & R,
so think I might try that "vagacial",
see what it's all about.
- Okay, have fun, Tinier Jane.
See you later. - It's okay.
- How can you possibly think
that the Mets are better than the Yankees?
- No, I didn't say better. I said more loveable.
- More loveable-- what is more loveable
than a team that is consistently excellent?
They've won 27 World Series--
- No, that's not love. That is boring.
You know what love is?
It's drama and suspense and hope and despair
all rolled up into one, and that is the Mets.
- Wow, I think I just learned so much about you.
- I once saw Derek Jeter buy bananas at Whole Foods.
Made my week.
[punchy music]
♪
- You need to go after her.
- What?
- Do you really think Derek Jeter
buys his own groceries?
- I'm not writing a missed connection.
- Well, if you don't write one, I will.
- Look, I appreciate that you're taking an interest
in my personal life, but if I'm meant to see
this woman again, I'll meet her again.
- [laughs] No shit.
- That's weird.
- Andrew.
[quietly] Who is that?
- [laughs]
- Oh, Dr. Alicia Golden.
- You look amazing as always.
- Well, thank you.
Oh, I am so glad this has worked out for you to be
the keynote speaker at our wellness seminar.
Top neurosurgeon at Columbia Hospital.
- Any chance you're going to the alumni mixer next week?
- Ugh, I wish I could.
My husband is working in Ukraine,
so I've got the kids and "Scarlet" and--
- Well, it is gonna be a good one.
Chef Anita Lo is catering,
and Miles Shaw will be reading from his new novel.
- Miles Shaw?
Wow, I have not heard that name in forever.
- Was he in your class?
- One above.
Yeah, we dated, actually, my junior year.
[laughs]
[warm ambient music]
♪
- What's the emergency? - Oh, no.
Are you wearing a pearl necklace?
- Yeah, not the fun kind.
- Okay, okay. Why?
- Well, I had to switch dinner with Richard's mom
to a Safford lunch with Richard's mom
because of Oliver's schedule, so what do we think?
- Is she June Cleaver?
- [sighs]
- Come on, honey, just lose the cardigan,
unbutton your blouse, and chill out.
She's cool, right?
- Yeah, I mean, she's--you know, she's great,
but she's Richard's mom. She's like a real mom.
I mean, no offense to Babs, but this is the first time
we're hanging out alone, and I really want her to like me.
It's fine. I'm fine.
You know, everything's fine.
[high-pitched beeping]
- I gotta go, you know, give the man his watch back.
- He left it on purpose. - Okay.
[punchy beat]
♪
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- You will go on first, of course, ten minutes.
And Kat, our head of social media,
will give you the guidelines of how to promote the event,
and of course, there's always Andrew
if you have any other questions.
♪
- Who is that guy over there?
- Her TED talk has more than a million views.
- Wait, is that her with Oprah?
- If you don't ask her out, I am going to.
- Really?
- Hey, I saw you downstairs at the café.
- [laughs] Yeah.
Yeah, that was me. I'm Alex.
Alex Crawford. - Alicia Golden.
But you already knew that.
[both chuckle]
Call me.
Let's get dinner.
[lively music]
[Alina Baraz's "Lavender and velvet" plays]
- Hey. What's up?
- My favorite customer.
- This is for you.
- Thank you, m'lady.
- Wow, had no idea you were such a cheeseball.
- But totally endearing, right?
- Eh, if you wanna call it that.
[laughter]
- Beautiful and sarcastic, a deadly combination.
- Hmm.
Hey, uh, is there any chance you
left that at my place on purpose?
- No. - Okay.
'Cause this is just sex.
- Yeah, I know.
I saw you break up with that girl
right over there, remember? - Mm.
- Ruthless. - [laughs]
Got you laid though.
- ♪ I'll take you anywhere you say ♪
- So just sex.
- Mm-hmm.
- Any sex?
- ♪ I wanna give you the world ♪
- Come here.
♪
- ♪ Let my love run wild
- What do you want? - Come here.
- [laughs]
- ♪ Let my love run wild
♪ Let me, let me love you down ♪
♪ Whoa, let my love...
- Maybe we could change it up a bit.
- Hm, I like changing it up.
- I thought you would.
- What'd you have in mind?
- You could peg me.
- [quietly] Uh.
I'm sorry, what?
- Since this is just sex, and we're having fun,
I thought maybe you could use your strap-on.
- Oh, I don't have a strap-on.
- Okay, I just assumed--
- Because I sleep with women, I would have a strap-on?
No, that's not really how it works,
and, you know, there's plenty of other ways to get off.
- Oh, you know I know that.
- [laughs]
- I just assumed 'cause you're like this powerful boss
that you'd enjoy being dominant.
- Yeah, honestly, it's more of a boss in the boardroom,
bottom in the bedroom kind of situation.
But thanks for the offer.
- [laughs]
- I'm--I'm gonna have to go back to work, though, so...
- Listen,
like, peg or no peg, I still really wanna see you again.
- Yeah, me too.
- Just for sex.
- Absolutely.
♪
- ♪ Let my love run wild
♪
- I'm so sorry for having to change the plan.
- Oh, no, no, please don't worry.
You're a busy woman.
I know 'cause I follow you on instant gram.
- Oh. [laughs]
It's actually Instagram, but I like your way better.
And thank you, every like counts.
- Well, I guess we all like to be liked.
- Well, for me, it's actually more about work.
- Oh, so this is part of your assistance job?
- Uh, no, influencing is actually a means to an end.
I'm trying to use it to get a promotion.
- So if I understand correctly, you take photos,
you post them, and then what?
- The more likes and followers that I get,
the more influence I have.
- Influence over what?
- My--my followers.
- Oh, so you want them to follow you
so that you can go and get a promotion to what?
Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrogating you?
- No, not at all. These are great questions.
I guess the whole point is for me to influence the people
who follow me to buy the things that I post about,
so that the people at "Scarlet" see me as being a commodity.
- So you're a saleswoman.
[punchy beat]
- More of a brand, or trying to be.
- Well, it all seems a bit silly to me,
but what do I know?
Let's have a look at some wedding venues.
- Hi, Dr. Gerard, thank you for calling me back.
- Sure. What's going on?
- I need some advice again.
I went to the spa today... - Uh-huh.
- And I decided to get a vagina facial,
and something doesn't feel right.
I know that having BRCA makes you more prone
to get cervical cancer, so--
- Jane, it just sounds like this facial
threw your pH levels off.
It's really nothing to worry about.
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm, yep. - Okay.
- Just don't be alarmed if you experience
a slight discharge or odor in the next few days.
- Excuse me?
- What kind of odor are we talking about?
- Just your basic vaginal odor.
Jane, it's not a given.
It's just a possibility. You'll be fine.
Listen, if you wanna come by my office in the next few days
for a quick checkup, my door is always open.
Oh, and Jane, facials--for the face.
- Yeah, got it.
Thank you.
[punchy music]
♪
- Hey.
- Cody asked me to peg him.
- What? - Yeah.
- How?
- You put on a strap-on, and then you just--
- Well, I know what pegging is.
I was just more so asking, like, how do you ask someone
you barely know to peg you?
- Leave your watch at their place,
and then when they drop it off, you say "Hey, wanna peg?"
- Hm, impressive. - Yeah.
- What'd you say? - I said no.
- Jane, come on, you know I've never liked being dominant
in the bedroom, and I'm not very good at it.
That's just not for me.
- I feel like this is different.
This is a dude.
Yeah.
- What--what are you doing? Where are you going?
We're gonna go check out the strap-ons
at the Pleasure Porium.
- Why? Are you gonna peg Ryan?
- No, but you might peg Cody. - I'm not gonna--
- So I think that we should go and check out all your options
before you make a rash decision.
- Jane, I'm not gonna peg him.
[lively music]
- Totally fine. Whatever you say.
But, you know, you might.
- All right, fine, we can go shopping.
- [laughs]
- But it doesn't mean anything, and text Sutton.
She'll be pissed if she misses this.
You okay? - Yeah, I'm just excited.
- So, where are you two going?
- You always wait a day before you text.
- No. Why do men think games work?
- Because they do?
- No, not on women like Alicia.
A woman like that knows what she wants,
and that is you.
So call her.
[electronic beat]
- [sighs]
♪
- There, now how long do you think
it's gonna take for her to text me back?
[phone chimes]
That was fast.
- I love this woman so much. You should take her to Lupe's.
- Mm--
[phone chimes]
She wants to go to Kokana.
- I heard that place is amazing.
- Yeah, but it's also booked up for, like, a month.
I'm just gonna suggest Lupe's.
[phone chimes]
She's got Kokana. 7:30 tonight.
- Now that is how the game is played.
♪
[hip-hop music]
Wow, look at all these strap-ons.
- Is that a vein? - Mm-hmm.
- How do you choose?
- Maybe it's like a "Harry Potter" situation.
The strap-on chooses you.
- No, I mean, like, what do you value?
Length or girth?
- Mm, you know, as the receiver,
I've always been more of a girth girl.
- Right.
- But I feel like, as the giver,
which is still a hypothetical by the way...
- Mm-hmm.
- It's probably length, yeah. - Hm.
- What about ethnicity?
Would you say your member
is more African-American, Caucasian--
- Mm, the flesh-colored ones are kind of scary.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- I think, if I were gonna buy one,
it'd be this one.
Look how cute it is.
[laughs] - Pretty cute.
- See, it's not black. It's not white.
It's not too masculine, not too feminine.
It's got these cute, little suspender straps
which I feel like would do great things for my boobies,
and, um, you know. It's just right.
Just Kat. - Tiny Kat.
- Who are you calling Tiny?
- [chuckles]
- Hey, quick question, do you think that they sell
anything here to get the stick out of Claire's butt?
- Maybe.
[laughter]
Did lunch not go well?
- Uh, she thinks I'm a joke.
She kept asking me what the point
of being an influencer is.
- Oh, well she legit might not know.
- There was judgment.
- Mm-kay, well, what you need to do is you need
to get a sponsor for your wedding.
And that way you can show old Claire how influential
her future daughter-in-law really is.
What are you doing? - You're buying this.
- What? No, I'm not.
No, I am not.
- You have 14 days to return it with a receipt.
- I haven't decided yet.
And how do you know the return policy?
- Don't ask me questions.
Jane, are you coming?
- Uh, you guys go, I'll catch up.
I'm just gonna do some browsing.
- Oh, okay.
Do you think she's buying a strap-on for her and Ryan?
- Maybe. So proud.
[lively music]
♪
- Jacqueline, your 1:00 p.m. is in the conference room.
- Good.
I want any information you can find for me
on the novelist Miles Shaw.
I want a full download tomorrow morning
before the wellness seminar.
- Oh, uh, that's a pretty busy time for you.
Maybe we should j-- - We'll set up a call.
- Oh, sure, no problem.
♪
- Ryan. [coughs]
No, I'm so sorry. I think I need to stay in.
No, no, no, no, no, no. [coughs]
Don't come over. [coughs]
Okay, yeah, okay, I love you too.
Bye.
[upbeat music]
♪
- Hi, this is Sutton Brady. I'm an Instagram influencer.
I'm calling about sponsors
for my highly anticipated upcoming wedding.
Thank you so much for your time.
[phone chimes]
- ♪ I leave a blaze when I'm moving ♪
♪ You'll see me first
- "Vaginal moisturizer and lubricant."
"Vaginal perfume."
"Vaginal shea butter."
Who comes up with this stuff?
- Hi, I'm Sutton Brady. I'm Instagram influencer.
Style by Sutton. - Thank you for your t--
- ♪ I'm in control
♪ Everywhere I go
♪ I know, I know, I know ♪
- Hm.
- I am gonna sell your product--hello?
Ugh.
[rock music]
- ♪ Everybody want what I got ♪
♪ Look all you want...
- No, no.
♪
- Oh, thank--hello? I--
♪
That wasn't very nice.
- ♪ I turn it out
- That's--I'm--anyway, I--
That one was fair.
♪
- ♪ Yeah
♪ Everybody want what I got
♪ Yeah, everybody want what I got ♪
♪
[spray bottle hisses]
- [screams] No!
Ah, ah.
No, I did a bad thing. I did a bad thing.
[punchy music]
- Hello. - Hey.
- Hey, guys, uh, need your help.
Think I broke Tinier Jane.
both: What?
- Okay, so you didn't buy a strap-on for you and Ryan?
- What? No.
- Oh. - I--
oh, gosh, this is so embarrassing.
Okay, I-- [clears throat]
after I got my "vagacial"-- - You got a yeast infection?
- Yes. - Mm.
- And I was nervous that it was gonna smell,
so I did something.
- You did all of the things.
- Mm, this one says it makes your vagina
smell like freshly baked cookies.
- But why?
- Because freshly baked cookies is better than,
you know, this situation.
- That's why I just bake cookies and then eat 'em
when I get a yeast infection.
- That is a million dollar idea.
- What--I'm sorry.
Why did I not know
that you guys get yeast infections?
- Well, it's not something you necessarily advertise like,
"Hey, everybody, my vagina's making yeast!"
- Yeah, but we're not everybody.
I mean, we were more than comfortable
talking about what strap-on Kat would be.
Why aren't we comfortable talking about,
you know, our problems down there?
- It's the patriarchy, bro.
Get in our heads, messin' with it.
- I just--the patriarchy hurts, okay?
I can barely sit.
How am I gonna sit on that panel tomorrow?
That's gonna be impossible.
- Okay, I have a plan.
We're gonna go to Duane Reade.
We're gonna get you some real medicine.
We are gonna get you some ice packs.
- Boxers--medicine.
- Boxers?
- Yeah, gotta let Tinier Jane breathe, you know?
[exhales] - I know, like--
- Please stop doing that.
- [exhales loudly] - St--ah!
Stop talking about Tiny Jane breathing.
- Oh.
- What? - Oh, nothing, it's just work.
[lively music]
- Oh, no.
The panel is gonna be livestreamed.
- Ah.
[romantic pop music]
♪
- Here's the thing, my dad was taking me
to Yankee games before I could even walk.
He actually claims to be
the first black season ticket holder.
- He's like the Jackie Robinson of baseball tickets.
[laughter]
So "Scarlet" must be an interesting place to work.
- Yeah.
It was an adjustment coming from "The Wall Street Journal,"
which was more my speed.
- Mm, believe it or not, I actually like "Scarlet" more.
- But I did some amazing work
covering the Bloomberg administration,
and I got to do a great series on New York mob bosses.
- That's cool.
- Don't get me wrong, I love "Scarlet," but--
[phone vibrates]
- I'm sorry. I have to take this.
It's the hospital.
Dr. Golden here.
Sub-Q emphysema.
Yes, I'm at Kokana across from Central Park.
I'll meet them out front.
I'm being called into surgery.
A car's gonna be here any second.
- Everything okay?
- [chuckles] It's never okay
when I'm being called, unfortunately
- Stupid question.
- No, it's not stupid at all.
A diplomat from Australia got in a car crash.
It's really serious.
I'm so sorry.
I hate to just leave you, but they requested me, so--
- Oh, don't worry about it. You're a surgeon.
People need you.
- Uh, can I call you later?
Maybe we can reschedule for another night?
- That'd be great.
Oh, actually, I'll take the bill.
- Dr. Golden took care of it, sir.
Would you like this to go?
- No, I'm fine, thanks.
[rock music]
♪
- Guys, I can't even feel Tinier Jane anymore.
- Here, here's this towel.
Put it between you and the ice pack.
- How many times have you done this?
- What's up? - Too many.
- I won't ask. - Thank you.
How was your date?
- Well, it wasn't boring.
- So do you think you'll see her again?
- Actually, I don't think so.
I mean she's smart, funny, good-looking,
and very successful.
- Why are you saying that like it's a bad thing?
- Well, it's not bad, just not great.
- Hm. - Go on.
- Look, this is silly, but I write articles
about dating while she literally saves lives.
I just don't think it's gonna work.
- So what I'm hearing is, you're gonna walk away
from an incredible woman because of your ego.
- What about all the stuff that you said to me
about Richard, you know?
"Let him buy you the sewing machine.
The power struggle is in your head."
- That's different. - Why, 'cause I'm a woman?
- That's not what I said. - But that's what you meant.
- Why do I feel like I need a lawyer?
- Maybe you do.
- Mm, I kinda get it.
But it's just fear.
You said that this woman's great, right?
Cody's kind of great too, but putting on a strap-on
and pegging him's really scary.
- I feel like I missed something.
- But it's scary because it's different
than what we were taught to expect.
Patriarchy has taught us
that men are supposed to be powerful,
women are supposed to be submissive.
That's it.
So you feel like less of a man without your power,
and I feel like less of a woman with it.
- Mm-hmm.
- But that's trash.
[electronic music]
Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna peg Cody.
- We goin' in! - [laughs]
- Yeah, I really missed something.
[upbeat electronic music]
- Ugh, I'm in more pain than I was before.
- Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
It gets worse before it gets better.
- Yeah, I just really hope that the meds
the doctor prescribed are gonna kick in soon.
- Just give it time. - I don't have time.
The wellness panel is in an hour.
I--I can't do it.
I can't sit in front of people like this.
I have to tell Jacqueline.
How am I gonna tell her that I have a yeast infection?
- [gasps] Yes.
- Hm?
- I got my first sponsorship.
- Hey, she popped her sponsorship cherry.
Special.
- Hogsmith Beer, not my first choice,
but I think Claire will be impressed.
I'm seeing her later today.
We narrowed it down to five venues.
- That's great.
Can we walk a little faster just 'cause
I think it helps me?
Don't tell me you have a yeast infection too.
- No.
- [gasps] You're wearing the strap-on?
- I'm hard packin', baby.
[laughter]
- No way.
- Yeah, strapped it to my inner thigh
just to feel the energy between my legs.
I'd really like to slap it on RJ's boardroom table.
- So did you tell Cody you wanna peg him?
- Sure did. He's coming over tonight.
- Hey.
[punchy beat]
Jane, listen, it's no biggie.
Just walk in there, maintain eye contact, and say,
"Jacqueline, I have a yeast infection."
[laughter] - Oh, no.
- Oh, and make sure that Dr. Golden has
an updated itinerary.
- Jacqueline, I have Miles Shaw on the line.
- What? Why?
- Because you asked me to inquire about him
and told me to set up a call?
- A call for you and me, so that you could share with me
whatever you found out about him.
- Uh...
- Okay, just tell him that I'm--
tell him I'm in a meeting. - Oh, okay.
- And don't say when or if I will call him back.
Go! - Okay, sorry.
- Oh, my God.
Jane, hi, come in. Please sit.
- Actually, I can't sit. Uh--my--you know.
- Okay, then you just--
you--yeah, stand there.
So what's--what's up?
- I just wanted to tell you...
[lively music]
How...
Excited I am about the wellness seminar and panel.
[chuckles] Excited
- Well, that's good because it's a really big deal,
and you're gonna be great, Jane.
You're gonna be really great.
[laughs]
- Thank you. - Okay.
Good luck.
- I love this place. I think it's so beautiful.
- Oh, it's my least favorite,
but I suppose there's a certain charm to its simplicity.
- Um...
oh, I have really good news.
So, thanks to my Instagram hobby,
there's a company that wants to sponsor
all of the beer for the wedding.
It's called Hogsmith. Isn't that great?
- Hogsmith.
- Yeah, it's not the best name,
but it's supposed to be really good.
I'm really excited about it.
- I am happy to pay for all the alcohol.
The champagne, the wine--you don't have to settle for beer.
We can do much better.
- I like beer.
Richard likes beer.
- I'm just saying, why not the best?
- What if I think beer is the best?
- Hogsmith? - Yes.
I--I'm not a fancy champagne.
I'm a craft beer from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
I'm never gonna be a fancy lawyer
with an Ivy League degree, but I love Richard,
and Richard chose me.
Richard chose beer.
So...
[melancholic music]
I have to go. I'm running late.
♪
[upbeat music]
- The culture of wellness is defined by our attitudes.
But there's a distinction between good health
and the absence of illness.
- How's it going back there, Jane?
- Good health is objective...
- I'm sorry. I know how gross this is.
- It's not gross.
Dudes go around scratching their balls
like it's nothing all the time.
- Yeah, why do we have to pretend like we don't
have the urge to itch the bitch, you know?
- Speaking of Richard's mother,
was she really that bad?
- We both were. I should probably apologize.
- Bloating, fatigue, low sex drive,
and so we look
to the wellness-industrial complex for answers,
whether they are true...
- And that is the woman who is responsible for this.
Sabrina George.
[sighs]
And I have to be on a panel with her.
[laughs] Yay.
- You don't have to talk about your yeast infection.
Just stick to the original plan from before the "vagacial".
- [sighs] Right.
I can do that. I can do that.
[applause]
- Thank you.
- I'm gonna do that.
- Yeah.
- Sabrina George, let's start with you.
Your spas are growing throughout Manhattan.
And you've recently added
a "pampering your privates" section
as well as a new line of scented products.
- Yes.
Wellness starts at the top, as we heard
from the incredible Dr. Golden, and works its way down
to the bottom, which is where
we've been focusing our efforts lately.
We believe that women should feel confident down there.
- [clears throat]
- Jane Sloan, did you want to say something?
- Um...
I--I was just gonna say, um, I mean, why not
just use the word vagina?
I mean, why are we saying "down there"?
We're all adults here.
- Um...
of course we can say the word.
[laughs]
I just feel that most women prefer synonyms or innuendos.
Makes things a little less embarrassing.
Am I right, ladies?
[applause]
[soft dramatic music]
♪
- Thank you.
- Dr. Golden?
You were amazing up there.
- Thank you, and I'm so sorry about last night.
- Oh, don't worry about that. Everything's okay, right?
- Yeah, I mean, my patient's got a long way to go,
but he's gonna be fine.
- That's great.
- And I'd love to take you out to dinner again.
Make it up to you.
[tender pop music]
- I have a confession to make.
I find you intimidating.
You're amazing.
I mean, you're smart, insanely successful.
As much as I want to be the kind of guy who
isn't insecure about all that, I don't know if I am.
- I get it. You're not ready for me.
- [laughs] I wish I was.
- So do I.
- Our agenda has always been to promote confidence and fun.
A dash of douche makes the worries go down.
- Well, that's all the time we have.
Thank you so much, ladies.
- Oh, just before you all leave,
I want you all to know that the audience members
are going home with a Sabrina George
gift package...
with all our latest therapies for down there.
[excited chatter]
- Uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, wait, stop.
- Yes, Jane?
- I'm sorry, I just have to say
vaginas aren't supposed to smell like cookies.
They're supposed to smell like vaginas.
I mean, yeah, I said it.
Vagina.
While the wellness industry may have an agenda
to prey on your insecurities, I'm a writer,
so I have a "vagenda" to tell it like it is.
Yesterday I used Sabrina George's products
because I wanted to pamper myself down there.
And if I'm being honest with you,
I have the worst yeast infection
I have ever had in my entire life right now.
I mean, like, I should really win a medal
for having to sit up here
for the past hour without scratching.
[Oliva O'Brien's "Love Myself"]
The point is, I'm tired of women feeling like
they have to be embarrassed about this stuff.
We need to start talking about it
because vaginas all have their issues.
So who's with me?
- ♪ Why am I like this, can somebody please tell me? ♪
♪
- Since having kids, I pee myself every time I laugh.
- ♪ Don't even know who I wanna be ♪
- I have a low-hanging labia.
I'm scheduled for rejuvenating surgery next week
even though I don't want it.
- I have acne on my vagina.
- ♪ I need to
♪ I need to love myself I need to, I need to ♪
♪ I need to love myself I need to ♪
♪ I need to love myself I need to love myself ♪
♪ Oh no
♪
- Claire, what are you doing here?
- I want to apologize to you.
- Oh, no, I'm one who needs to apologize.
I was being oversensitive.
- No, no, you weren't. I had a tone; I felt it.
But I think it's because I'm jealous of you.
- What?
- You know, I loved raising Richard,
but I had to give up my career to do it,
and letting go of my ambitions is something
I still regret to this day.
But you, Sutton, you're a successful young woman.
[tender music]
- I'm not successful. I'm just an assistant.
- An assistant on your way to amazing things.
I can tell.
And clearly so can Richard.
♪
- Thanks.
I really miss him.
Long distance is hard.
- I know. It's hard for me too.
But I am going to throw you two the best wedding
that you can imagine, and if it means Hogwash beer,
so be it.
Welcome to the family, Sutton.
- Thank you.
It's Hogsmith, though, just in case you hashtag it.
- I'm not gonna hashtag it, sweetie.
- Okay.
- [chuckles]
[Lykke Li's "neon" plays]
[romantic pop music]
- ♪ I never love half-hearted I'm down to get bruised ♪
♪ Who's gonna let go hardest? We fight and we lose ♪
- What do you think?
- ♪ Another round, another round in me, yeah ♪
- I think you look beautiful.
- ♪ Knock me down I don't care ♪
- How do you feel?
- Hm...
Powerful.
- Good.
You are.
Are you ready?
- No, but...
- ♪ In the nights we glow we glow ♪
- Yeah.
- ♪ I'd rather cry all night, night, night ♪
♪ Then let the feeling die, die, die ♪
♪ Neon, neon, neon I'm still holding on, neon ♪
[Tala Parx's "I Want You" plays ]
- ♪ Ooh
- It's gonna be fun. I promise.
- ♪ Get your message
♪ You won't just let me go and let you down ♪
♪ I'm one of those bad decisions ♪
- I don't wanna hurt you.
- You won't.
I trust you, Kat.
- ♪ One keeps me grounded and one in the clouds ♪
♪ Contradicting the things I thought I knew ♪
♪ So indecisive, don't know what to do ♪
[both moaning]
♪
♪ Can you really blame me wanting you? ♪
♪
♪ And you, and you, and you, and you ♪
♪ Can you really blame me?
♪
- I trust you too.
- ♪ So far from grounded and close to the clouds ♪
♪ Contradicting the things I thought I knew ♪
♪ So indecisive, it's so hard to choose ♪
♪
- Oh, my gosh, you guys are so cute.
- She actually loved Hogsmith beer.
- Oh, Jane, Jacqueline wants to see you.
[electronic music]
♪
- Jacqueline?
- Ah, good, Jane.
What you did yesterday on the panel
was very brave and inspiring.
- Thank you.
And, miraculously, I am feeling better down there.
My vagina.
- [laughs] Well, that is good to know.
- [laughs]
- And you know what else is good?
- What?
- Your "vagenda" speech
caught the attention of Forbes magazine.
Between that and your great, honest work lately,
they are nominating you as a possible candidate
for their "30 Under 30" issue.
Congratulations.
- You're serious? - Yes.
Taking risks really pays off, doesn't it?
- Yes it does. Thank you so much.
[soft dramatic music]
♪
- Andrew. - Yeah, hi, hi.
- I'd like you to get Miles Shaw
on the phone for me please.
- Miles Shaw on the phone.
- Yes, for real this time.
- On-on-on the phone--on the phone.
- Oh, my God, how was it?
- Was it great?
- It was.
- Are you gonna do it again? Are you, like, a pegger now?
- [laughs]
You know, it was different than what I thought it would be.
- Different good or bad?
- Good.
Good, but--
- Butt indeed.
I'm just kidding, sorry.
I just had to.
- I just--I guess I just thought it would be,
you know, sexual and physical and primal.
- And it wasn't?
- No, it was, but it was also intimate, you know?
And I don't know if that was just because
I was in a place of power and he was vulnerable,
or if I maybe caught a feeling, or just, like,
half a feeling-- calm down.
But we connected.
You know?
Like, really connected, like eye-contact.
- Mm.
- It was weird.
I've never had that with a guy before.
- Well, it's like you said, you're a lover of people.
- Yeah, yeah.
But I also think that maybe it's more than that.
Um, maybe I might be bisexual?
And you guys know I hate labels,
but this one feels important right now
to own the space I'm in
and to make sense of it.
- If you need a label, pick a label, any label.
- Thank you.
- Bisexual, lesbian, queer, Kat--
we love all of them as long as you're just being you.
- [laughs]
[Maggie Rogers' "Back in My Body" plays]
- ♪ This time I know I'm back in my body ♪
[upbeat music]
♪